Original subtitles

- Hello. Hello. Hello.

Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race UK"...

You'll be acting in a murder mystery

with a modern twist, The Squirrel Games.

- Let The Squirrel Games begin.

- Don't scream too loud.

- Pugly, Pugly's seen it all.

- Its fugly.

- [clears throat]

- Jonbers Blonde, your performance,

it was all pedal to the metal.

Black Peppa.

- I liked where you were going,

but I was trying to help you not scream so much.

- Cheddar Gorgeous, you were so funny in this thing.

Condragulations.

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

Black Peppa.

Shantay, you stay.

Jonbers Blonde.

Shantay, you also stay.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, you got me, girl.

- Yeah, I got you, girl.

[upbeat music]

- [screaming]

[laughter]

- We're back in the work room.

Ru has just saved Peppa and me.

- There's no lipstick message to read.

- I know.

- And I am delighted.

- Well done, girls.

- My God. - My God.

- You put on a show.

- Mm. How did that feel?

- It felt good. JONBERS: Yeah.

You're fighting for your life.

But at the same time, you have to enjoy it,

because if you're not up there enjoying yourself,

then it's time to go home.

- And do you know what?

That was Peppa's third lip sync.

And she survived.

And people don't often do that.

- No. Yeah. Well done, you. PIXIE: So like...

the official lip sync assassin of the season.

PEPPA: Week after week, I fought, and I stayed.

I'm just so proud of myself.

How are you feeling, Danny?

- I'm a bit gutted because I've come, like, second, I suppose,

in the last term.

And I do think out of the two ruffles, mine is a nicer look.

No tea, no shade.

- They weren't mad about my big-- whatever they called it.

- No, Ru said some really fab things about it, babe.

- I don't want to sound like a Bitter Betty, because I ain't.

But I was serving blue waffle realness with a slice of fem.

She looked like a rotten cabbage.

- Well, there's one more challenge.

And then it's the final.

- Oh, my God.

PIXIE: The end is near.

- The end is--no! - Ah!

- [laughs]

- What's next?

- Who knows?

I am a four-badge bitch.

PIXIE: Cheds, can you taste the crown?

Is it cheesy?

- I'm not gonna get complacent.

I'm gonna keep on working hard.

- You do you, girl.

CHEDDAR: I get it.

I want to win now.

- The crown is almost there, okay?

It's anybody's game still. I could still win this.

If anyone's ever in doubt, I'll just--

[tin whistle piping]

DANNY: At this stage in the competition,

if you're not in the top, you're in the bottom.

[tin whistle piping]

So I need to be in the top

because I want to be in that final.

- Can you do the Drag Race theme tune on that?

[tin whistle piping]

No.

[laughter]

- [singing] Ru-Paul's Drag Race

RUPAUL: The winner crowned the UK's next Drag Race superstar

will receive an all expenses paid trip to Hollywood

to create their own digital series with the producers

of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Tonight with Michelle Visage,

Alan Carr, and extra special guest judge

Olly Alexander.

- [singing] May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

[cheers]

- Toots! Ah!

[laughs]

- It's a brand new day in the work room.

It's the semi-final.

We're sausage rolling into the finale.

And we're still a top five.

Very strange.

Well, ladies, here we are, top five again.

It's like déjà Ru.

- Déjà Ru.

Oh, my God, you beat me to it.

- Oh, rats.

- And congrats on four badges, Cheddar. - Ah!

- Four badges!

- I do feel like there's a gigantic target on my back now,

but that's okay.

I think me having so many badges

will make the girls see me in a particular light.

I just don't know what that light is.

I'm sleeping with both eyes open,

but that doesn't make any difference

to how I normally sleep.

JONBERS: What's next?

Because we've had Rusical.

We've had the girl group.

- Improv. - We've had improv.

We've now had acting.

What's next?

Are they gonna combine it all?

- Singing, dancing, improv.

- RuPaul's Drag Circus.

[laughter]

[siren blaring] [all screaming]

RUPAUL: Her Majesty done already done had herses.

My right honorable lords and ladykins,

are you hung and full of ding dongs?

- [laughs] DANNY: Ooh, yes.

- Are you facing yet another probe?

Sounds like you may be suffering

from electile dysfunction.

- Ooh!

- The time is now to get your house in order.

PIXIE: Cleaning?

It's spring cleaning day.

Oh, you filthy little buggers.

[laughter]

- I am not feeling good because I think,

once again, it's a comedy challenge.

Wish me luck.

- Hello. Hello. Hello.

ALL: Hi.

- Good morning, ladykins.

- Morning. - Morning, Ru.

- Well, you've made it to the semifinals.

Condragulations.

[cheers and applause]

- Ooh!

- But you are still facing some pretty stiff competition.

So for this week's maxi challenge,

we're holding a general erection.

And we're giving you the chance

to roast your fellow candidates.

[dramatic music]

[laughter]

- #DragRaceUK.

And later, to help you put your funny where your mouth is,

you'll meet with BAFTA-winning comedian Aisling Bea.

[cheers and applause] - Ooh, like a little Irish.

- Aisling Bea, Irish goddess.

I'm so excited, I could shit.

- And tomorrow on the main stage,

we'll be joined by our extra special guest judge,

Olly Alexander.

[cheers and applause]

- I've got such a crush on Olly Alexander.

Don't tell my boyfriend.

[laughs]

- Now, Black Peppa and Jonbers Blonde,

since you both survived last week's lip sync,

you get to work together

to assign the order of appearance.

- No!

- Wow. - Ah!

- Bird lady rising.

- Oh, and one more thing.

To make this roast extra juicy,

I've invited the eliminated season four queens to join us.

[cheers and applause]

DANNY: Yes!

- Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

- Whoo!

- Jonbers and I are given the role

to assign the order of the roast.

- I've got to try and be funny.

I need a lot of time.

- Remember who your friends are, bitches.

- I know this is not one of my strong suits,

so this is a really good advantage

to put myself in a position where I do not

have someone that's super funny before me,

then I look like shit.

- Where do you want to be?

- I do not want to go first or last. - Yeah.

- I think being sandwiched in the middle kind of helps,

so if someone's really good, then at least,

it doesn't throw you off.

- Mm-hmm.

- Peppa and Jonbers are picking the order.

- Don't worry.

- It doesn't worry me.

I'll be funny wherever I go.

I love a good roast.

I won the reading challenge, so hoping

that I can do well this week.

- We want to end, obviously, well,

but we don't want to end on a super high.

I don't think we end on Pixie

'cause Pixie is really confident.

I don't think she should be either--

like, I don't know.

I don't know.

- If I was in their position, I would--

- I know they can hear it.

- Hi. - Hi.

- You look gorgeous today.

- Oh. Thank you.

- Do you know who my favorite is out of you two?

- Herself.

[laughter]

- The roast has begun.

- I'm feeling a little bit intimidated by this challenge.

I have certainly told jokes on stage.

I have also been laughed at.

Never the twain have met.

JONBERS: What would you do?

I'm listening.

- I would like to go earlier.

I think I'm gonna be very much

leaning into the political character side of things.

- She wants first place.

- Probably not the big jokey bits, you know?

I am not a rip roaring comic.

And so I wouldn't mind being, like, in the middle

or going earlier.

- We can go in the order of, like,

how many badges we've got.

So, Jonbers, you can go first because you've got none.

[laughter]

- Wow. You're really working on getting her on your side,

aren't you? - Seriously.

DANNY: I am happy as long as I'm not after Pixie

because I think she is gonna slay it.

And that will put the willies on me.

And I don't want the willies on me right now.

- I'm happy with that. - Yeah.

It starts off big.

Big mouth Danny.

- Hurry up.

- It actually is really tough.

But like--I mean, like, we honestly

really didn't want to be strategic in a way at all.

We obviously just want to make sure we're safe

because, like, you're two funny bitches and Cheddar.

[laughter]

- That was good.

- Okay, up first, Danny Beard.

Second is me.

- Okay. - Third will be Peppa.

Fourth is Pixie.

And fifth is Cheddar.

- You put the dry, unfunny one at the end?

[dramatic music]

- No matter where anybody puts it--

- Someone would have had a problem.

JONBERS: It's five people.

And no way was this done in a vindictive way at all.

- What's funny is that I just said to you

I'd like to go earlier.

And you literally put me at the end.

- There has to be an order.

- It's fine.

- You have a strong political message.

And to end on a high--

- It's fine.

- It wasn't strategic or anything like that.

- It's fine.

DANNY: When people say they're fine,

it means they're feeling insecure, needy, and emotional.

CHEDDAR: I just maybe just know my own humor.

I'm very dry.

And so I think you'll be going out on a kind of--a very--

on a note that's like that.

You know what I mean?

Because I'm a very dry person.

- We were just trying to make an order

at the end of the day.

So like, I understand how you feel,

but you have four badges on your head right now.

- Cool.

- And as we said, it's not strategic.

And if you feel that way, babe, honestly, it's you.

- Ooh, it's a bit awkward, isn't it?

Now it feels rather tense, doesn't it, ladies?

I don't think they threw anyone under the bus necessarily,

but it feels like maybe they were being tactical

with the order of the roast.

- Jonbers Blonde, how's that argument made you feel?

- [laughs, chomps]

Hungry.

CHEDDAR: I'm annoyed.

I just think I've got to get on with it,

push forward, keep going.

I mean, they still think they put me in the wrong place,

but--

[laughs]

- Now it's time for some comedy coaching

with legend Aisling Bea.

It's about to get very Irish in here.

- Jonbers, how 'bout you?

- What about you, love?

- How 'bout you now, Jonbers?

- Oh, it's nice to see another Irish girl in the house.

- Oh, my God.

Delighted by you.

Whoo!

- Hi. - Cheddar Gorgeous.

Oh, my God.

My favorite food and a beautiful person.

- Well, there we go.

- How are you? - I'm good.

You're from Liverpool?

- What gave that away, the stolen clothes?

- Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]

Are you used to doing kind of talking to people and stand up?

You're not? So you're not used to this? - No.

The closest thing I've done to a roast

is the reading challenge, and that bombed.

- I have died on my arse on more stages

than I've succeeded.

So like, you can't do worse than I've already done.

- I'll be honest, right?

Writing stuff down terrifies me.

- I, myself, have never written a stand-up joke down.

I write a bullet point, and I remember

what I'm saying to not lose that element

of walking around.

And if you see something, say it.

But always have a bullet point to come

back to just so if you're nervous

and it's--and it's tight.

Whoops. As we all know.

- Always tight, darling.

Trust me.

- I wish I could say the same for me.

I've had a long life, Danny.

Do you want to give it a go?

- My pal Copper Topp is here.

I'll never forget the first time we met,

but I will keep trying.

[laughter]

Alan, I just love your smile.

And looking at your teeth, it just looks like your tongue's

on a day trip to Stonehenge.

- And I would say, as a drag queen,

I get to travel the country.

And what's so nice is to be able to have Stonehenge here.

Oh, no. Sorry, Alan.

That's your teeth. [laughter]

Something like that.

- Is that not a bit mean?

- That's not a bit mean.

Don't ever question yourself in your delivery.

- Just be confident in the joke.

- Yeah. Exactly.

These are solid gags.

- Thank you.

It's my last chance to get a badge.

I think I've got a good chance to get a badge.

- It's gonna be brilliant.

This is easy territory.

- Thank you so much.

You've been--you've been lovely.

I just hope I can pull it off.

- Welcome to my political roast

where I slaughter my candidates' image

to make myself look good.

- Wait. Say that again?

- Where I slaughter my candidates

or my political opposition

to make myself look good.

- Your voice is quite quiet.

Imagine there's someone at the back of the room

and you're trying to get them.

Really project. - Okay.

Let's start roasting these bitches.

- See, even that, I didn't-- you mumbled it.

- Let's start roasting these bitches.

- Yes. There it is.

Give it to me again now.

- Let's start roasting these bitches.

- Yes. Oh.

Dramatically different.

PEPPA: I have great ideas in my head.

I just don't know how to translate it through speech.

Copper Topp is living proof that things do get better.

- Sell it more, I think.

- Okay.

And the next delegate, Copper Topp,

living proof that things do get better.

- Beautiful. Yes.

- Oh, good. - Lovely.

- I'm actually feeling good already.

- Yeah. - I got this.

- I feel like I've got a good structure.

- Yes. - I've got good character.

- Yeah.

- I actually think what I lack is the jokes.

- Jokes. Right.

Well, let's work on that.

- My set has been inspired by people in power

in our societies actually being reptile people,

because it's the truth.

People of the planet Earth, you may have heard terrible,

terrible rumors about me and my kind,

that we wish to destroy your institutions

and change your entire way of life.

- So with that, it is a lovely premise, but it is a roast.

Never go too long without putting in a little gag.

- I am so grateful to have this session.

She is going to turn this serious sexy dolphin

into a comedy genius.

Of course, the world--

- So there--

I would stop you there and go,

now we need a roast gag about someone else.

- Okay.

- Don't deliver it like a play though.

Deliver it to a live audience.

- Either the judges will go for it or--

well, I'm learning to lip sync.

- I will bring in drag queens across borders,

bringing Northern Irish Queens

to the mainland, breaking barriers between boob tubes

and paddle pushers.

- Yeah.

- Aisling is a boost to my confidence.

She's making me feel right at home on the stage.

- Every time there's a little moment,

if you could just do a poke at someone,

that makes it all the more roasty. - Yeah.

- As you would in a good dinner in Ireland,

put in a little roast here and there.

- I'm gonna eat up all those spuds.

- Yeah, do. - Yeah.

- Who can forget Starlet?

The look's 50% of the mark.

What a shame she didn't realize personality was the other 50.

[laughter]

- What about kind of, you can always buy a new dress,

you can buy a new wig, but God doesn't come down

and give you a second personality.

- Polish its head, but roll it in glitter.

It's that kind of--

- That--you've just found the joke.

- Keep it coming.

Keep it coming, bitch.

- Start strong.

That'll put a fire in your energy.

And then you're off.

- Aisling is filling me with confi-donk.

- Own your whole persona.

Like, you do have this.

I would love to sit and get read by you.

- No, you don't, honestly, not with them boots.

[laughter] - I'm joking.

- Yes!

- Joking. - I just got read.

Thank you, Danny.

Yeah.

- I feel funny as fuck.

- Oh, my God. My boots got read.

I feel honored.

- Bring it on.

[energetic music]

How you feel?

- Feeling good.

- It's elimination day, and we're back in the work room

getting ready for the roast, a political themed roast.

Very camp.

- Girls, how amazing was Aisling, no?

- Do you know what?

Filled me with some confidence.

I was a bit nervous going into that.

- That's strange you said that.

I never would have thought you would have been nervous

going into this challenge.

This is a challenge made for you, love.

- I appreciate that I've got some strengths over others

in this, but it's a vulnerable position, actually,

to stand in front of a whole crowd full of people

and your job is to entertain them.

- Yeah.

- It's taken me a long time to be comfortable on stage.

- I have gone through life never really feeling

that level of assuredness.

The kind of drag I do now is not very stage based.

I don't perform a huge amount.

- Hearing people like you and Danny say that,

it's kind of like, how could you ever

even feel that way after you've been slaying

the game the whole time?

I guess there is a pressure.

- This is stuff that I'm not

massively familiar with, right?

Like, I love doing a little bit of a chat.

- We know.

[laughter]

- She's giving another lecture.

- I think everybody thinks I'm quite serious.

Sometimes in life, you need serious.

You're saying whoever invented democracy wasn't serious?

- You never stop learning in drag.

It's a different crowd.

It's a different vibe every single time.

- We go to work, and we get to see people

having a good time. - Yeah.

- But we are so lucky for that.

- That's why I do drag is because

I love to make people laugh.

- Same. - Let's see if I do today.

[laughter]

PEPPA: All these other girls are comedians.

They have a very high bar.

But there's not really any expectation of me

to be funny, so I can take this whichever direction

I want to go.

PIXIE: I'm really excited at the prospect

of roasting these girls.

It's time to smear the competition.

- I have got my blinders on,

and I am ready to burn a bitch.

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

[laughter]

RUPAUL: [singing] Cover girl, put the bass in your walk

Head to toe, let your whole body talk

[applause]

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race UK."

The iron lady of drag, Michelle Visage.

- Thatcher? I don't even know her.

[laughter]

- The pearl necklace is non-negotiable.

[laughter]

The super spexy Alan Carr.

Now, Alan, have you ever run for office?

- Run for office in these heels?

No, child.

It's more like a mince.

[laughter]

- And our extra special guest judge,

pop sensation Olly Alexander.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

- Ru, can I say I have waited years and years to be here?

And it's a sin how good you look.

- I bet you say that to all the queens of drag.

[laughter]

This week, we challenged our queens

to roast their opposition.

And tonight on the runway, category is Pretty in Punk.

Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

[dramatic music]

We take you now to 69 Downing Street,

where the eliminated queens have gathered to hear

from our first candidate.

Put your hands together for Danny Beard.

[cheers and applause]

- Girls, gays, and theys,

welcome to the general erection 2022.

I'm here today to not only represent myself,

but also Liverpool.

I know what you're all thinking.

Liverpool's rough.

And I want to clear something up, girls.

It's been in the news recently.

A big, big house behind the central library

has been zoned for drugs.

And I want to let you know I was just

as shocked as the rest of Liverpool to find out

we had a library.

[laughter]

Please give a round of applause for RuPaul, everybody.

[cheers and applause]

Yeah.

Fashion is to Ru what sex is to Alan: paid for.

[laughter]

Olly Alexander, everyone.

When you think of Olly, you think it's a sin,

not the TV show, the teeth.

[laughter]

It wouldn't be right without mentioning Starlet.

The look is 50% of the mark.

[laughter]

What a shame personality was the other 50.

[laughter]

You are proof that you can't polish your shit,

but you can roll it in rhinestones.

[laughter]

You're a gorgeous queen.

- Danny is killing it up there, and it is lovely.

- Black Peppa, everyone.

Do you know what I love about you, babe?

You've really opened up on the show while you've been here.

And I want people that watch this to know

you can't be held back by bad teeth.

[laughter]

Honestly, when you smile next to Olly, next to Alan,

it's like looking through a graveyard.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God.

- Now, Jonbers Blonde,

I thought the troubles in Ireland ended in the '90s,

but it's clear from looking at her face

that they have only just begun.

[laughter]

And now I want to move on now to a Manchester sister.

No, not the Manchester mannequin,

no badges panicking.

I'm talking about Dr. Cheddar Bore-geous.

Babe, you are so boring, you could make a deaf insomniac

go to sleep just by talking.

You really could.

And I found it hard to write something

about Pixie, if I'm honest.

How am I gonna roast Pixie?

And then it dawned on me.

Roasting's what you do with a pig.

[laughter]

Looking around this room, all these ugly, crusty-ass bitches

can't do a job as good as me.

And that is why I should take this fucking crown.

Tonight, don't message me after the show.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you. Good night.

Thanks.

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

[cheers and applause]

- Yes!

- Sorry I'm late.

I've just been to Downing Street for a wee pre-swall,

as we like to say in Belfast.

They don't call it Downing Street for nothing.

You know what I mean?

[laughter]

Oop.

Some people would say that's a hard choice

going after Danny Beard.

But nothing in life should be hard

except for dicks.

And Danny's a dick.

[laughter]

Now, I'm a bit drunk, so that's why I've got some notes.

Now, one thing that I want to say

is that I am Irish.

I'm so Northern Irish

that my gender reveal was a bomb scare.

[laughter]

Actually, this kind of reminds me of, like, being

at a job center, doesn't it?

Ru, you're like the manager of the job center.

- What's a job center?

[laughter]

- It's somewhere where you go when some people

don't have work like these queens.

Now, I'm drunk.

[laughter]

- We can tell.

- I came to drag racing to show versatility.

And I've played a sex worker, pigeon.

I've played a bag of snakes.

I've played a dog whose name I still don't remember.

[laughter]

- Fugly. - Fugly.

Thank you.

I'm ready for my next role.

I'll play--I don't know--

Peppa the Pig.

[laughter]

No. No. No.

Peppa, you are amazing.

People, they don't get thrown out of a Peppa gig.

They get thrown in.

[laughter]

PEPPA: I didn't expect Jonbers to be this good.

Where--where did this come from?

- Michelle, you are a patron saint now of Ireland.

That's why you gave your boobs to Alan.

[laughter]

And lastly, but not least...

[laughter]

I'm here to tell you,

these kitty girls shit outside the box.

Disgusting!

I am a pussy.

You can trust her.

Please choose me after that terrible, terrible set.

[cheers and applause]

You're all bastards.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

- First off, I'd like to say thank you to Ru for giving me

this opportunity to slaughter the queens

and drag them through the mud just like Pixie did to Wendy

in the makeover challenge.

[laughter]

[sighs]

Now, it took me a long time to get to this point

in the competition.

And it's taken me even longer

because of the backed up traffic on the M6

and the M25 and the trains.

Just laugh.

[laughter]

I'm not a comedian, but I am stunning, and I'm pretty.

Michelle Visage, my girl White Saw...

- That's me.

- I'd like to thank you so much

for taking time out of your busy schedule

to show up in drag.

- You're welcome.

[laughter]

- Now, I am very soft-spoken, and it's something

I've always had my entire life.

I don't have to be obnoxious like Danny Beard.

I don't have to put Marmite on my skin as foundation.

- Thank you, honey.

I appreciate you trying.

- You're welcome.

[laughter]

I'm bombing hard. It's okay.

You can laugh.

[laughter]

Now, no one can look like me.

No one can speak like me.

And no one can speak like Just May.

I mean, girl, the first time I met you,

I was like, why is Trixie Mattel spitting on me, girl?

[laughter]

Now, sticks and stones may break my bones,

but Le Fil's props will never hurt me.

You are truly the fellow queen of the season.

- Ooh. Ooh.

- [sighs]

Dakota, Dakota, now, I love you so much.

It was so hard to see you leave,

but it's good to see you wearing makeup tonight.

Yay!

- Cheddar Gorgeous, the prehistoric queen

of the season.

Cheddar Gorgeous is so old, her first gig was when I was born.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

[laughter]

CHEDDAR: It's correct.

That's a fact.

- That was the end of my political roast.

Thank you so much.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you.

[dramatic music]

- Before I begin, I would like to make

a small public service announcement.

I would just like to remind you that politicians are liars.

That being said, it's so lovely to be here amongst this panel

of extremely talented queens.

[laughter]

Girls, it's so lovely to have you back.

We've got Just Meh.

And Sminty Dropped Out of the Race.

- Oh. Right.

- My pal, Copper Topps here.

Hello, Copper Topp. - Hey. Hey, gorg.

- An ironic name, now, isn't it?

Yeah, given how many times you're in the bottom.

You know, people often say, Copper,

you smell like pennies,

not because you're usually ginger,

just because that's what you get paid in at your gigs.

[laughter]

And I'm so--oh, no.

I've already done that one. Sorry.

- I thought Pixie had this in the bag.

I'm like Kris Jenner on the sidelines.

I'm there going...

[laughing]

- Now, I love to visit famous landmarks.

Actually, I've got a bit of bucket list.

And staring up at Alan today,

I can finally say I've seen Stonehenge.

Cheddar Gorgeous is named after the famous Cheddar Gorge.

And scientists recently discovered

a 9.000-year-old skeleton at the bottom of Cheddar Gorge.

Can you believe it?

And it's so lovely to have you here with us today, Ru.

Thank you so much.

[laughter]

To the right, dishonorable Michelle Visage.

Hello, Michelle.

- Hiya.

- Yeah, she actually came up in the world of ballroom,

something she wishes more of her underwear had.

[laughter]

- Very true.

- Now, there are several very important issues

I would like to discuss in this campaign speech.

First up is education, because RuPaul's School for Girls

only has one pupil, Peppa.

But you know what?

All that focused learning, and you still haven't learned

how not to be in the bottom.

[clears throat]

And moving swiftly on.

We'll move swiftly on.

That one didn't land, but this one's nice.

Danny, I was worried when I heard Danny

was going to be attending this roast, but then I remembered

how much I love bacon.

Who doesn't love a hog roast?

[clears throat]

Jonbers is such a drunk that when she does a terrible gig,

she gets excited by all the booze.

And I'm gonna wrap this up now,

'cause apparently I thought I was funnier than I am.

[laughter]

Thank you all for listening.

I've been Pixie Polite.

Pick Pixie, and make politics polite again.

Thank you very much.

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

- Worthless humans of the planet Earth--

[laughter]

I'm so sorry.

That appears to be the wrong speech.

[laughter]

People of the world, regular people,

everyday people, mundane people,

I know what you're thinking.

A drag queen talking about politics?

That's the last thing that this country needs.

I know you have worries.

There are terrible rumors about myself and people like me.

But we are not all gobby attention-seeking

sex-obsessed dick pigs with regional accents.

Yes, I am talking about you, Danny Beard.

[laughter]

But no, I intend to use the power of drag

to amplify important issues like educating the children,

like regulating free markets,

and of course, the issue on everybody's lips, rimming,

because that is what really matters, isn't it, my dears?

Oh.

- What is happening right now?

This is a roast.

I feel like I'm in a lecture right now.

- And here, we have the wonderful bare backbenchers.

That was a politics joke.

If any of you followed it,

it would have been absolutely hilarious.

[laughter]

I can't help what I'm working with.

- Sminty, you are looking gorgeous tonight.

- Thank you.

- Almost as good as you look on Instagram.

[laughter]

- You bitch.

- Oh, Starlet, still young, still beautiful, I see.

Don't worry.

You'll grow out of both, I assure you.

And of course, icon, RuPaul, I have certainly learned so much

about myself, about improvisation,

about the powerful combination of lighting

and sitting very, very, very still.

[laughter]

A vote for Cheddar is a vote for change.

And I want to promise you right here and now that neither I,

nor any of my kind will eat your children...alive.

Thank you very, very much.

[cheers and applause]

- And she wanted to go first with that routine?

Sorry.

[upbeat music]

RUPAUL: [singing] Can you feel the love?

Category is Pretty in Punk.

Up first, oh, Danny Beard.

God shave the queen. - [laughs]

DANNY: I am wearing head-to-toe iconic not Danny Beard

because it's punking it.

They can touch my sex pistol.

- Never mind the bollocks, baby.

DANNY: I want to put a message on the back of this,

which is fuck gender and fuck what the heteronormative world

says we should be.

And that is punk.

- Ladies and gentlemen, Dolly Tartan.

[laughter]

Up next, Jonbers Blonde.

- Ooh.

- Safety first.

JONBERS: Punk to me is anarchic.

It is a spirit who is just completely free

and being themselves.

- I just wanted my ears pierced.

ALAN: Just pierce off.

JONBERS: My look is inspired by Siouxsie and the Banshees,

a bit McQueen and a bit showgirl.

You ever seen a safety pin this big before, big boy?

- Bye, Piers Morgan.

[laughter]

Up next, Black Peppa.

- Ooh! Ooh!

MICHELLE: What we are witnessing here is the last

of the freaking Mohicans.

PEPPA: I am wearing over 5.000 studs.

This outfit is heavier than life.

It's heavier than me.

- I think I've got punk in my eye.

[laughter]

MICHELLE: Alan!

PEPPA: I am serving an iconic silhouette.

I am a living work of art.

This is punk on acid.

MICHELLE: The good thing about those shoulder pads

is they don't need water.

RUPAUL: Pixie Polite.

ALAN: "Rule, Clitannia!"

PIXIE: My look is a Westward inspired

"God save the queen" moment.

- Oh, look, Ru. She's crowning.

OLLY: Oh. Oh.

ALAN: Oh.

MICHELLE: Oh, dear.

- The crown jewels.

PIXIE: I'm covered in Union Jack colors.

And I'm feeling like I've got a bit of attitude

on the runway, but also pretty darn fabulous.

- Her limbs are made of Westwood.

RUPAUL: Up next, Cheddar Gorgeous.

- They call her Sputnik.

- I see her velvet undergrounds.

- Punk, what an amazing theme.

ALAN: Is that Sid Malicious?

MICHELLE: I think it's Sid Delicious.

- I predict her Johnny's rotten.

CHEDDAR: I am wearing a vintage leather dress.

I have gigantic green spikes coming out of my head.

I feel so punk, I could bite a hamster's head off

if that wasn't a hideously cruel thing to do.

- This look is buzzcocked and loaded.

RUPAUL: [singing] Can you feel the love?

Welcome, ladies.

It's time for the judges' critiques.

Let's start with Danny Beard.

- In the roast challenge, you opened it up,

which is never an easy thing to do.

But you went out there with confidence.

You knew what you came to do, and you did it.

It was funny, and that's what a roast is.

And I thought you delivered it really well.

- I mean, I would pay to see that at a comedy club.

I don't think I could follow you.

You were just so on fire.

- Fashion is to Ru what sex is to Alan: paid for.

- You just were so witty.

You took everyone down.

It was like a disaster movie.

No one got out alive.

- This runway almost brought me to tears.

I am thrilled with everything that I see here.

And Danny, this is like a Westwood wet dream.

And that's what I love about it.

- I love this look tonight so much.

I love the message on the back, fuck gender.

You just smashed it.

Well done.

- You know how to do it.

These jokes and the delivery was something

that you had honed working in clubs.

You're a hard one to beat.

Strong night for you, Danny.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

- All right. Up next, Jonbers Blonde.

- You have that great character of being a drunk politician.

And I love the fact that, you know, if a joke didn't land,

you just said, I'm pissed.

It's just brilliant.

- You made such a bold choice, and I love that.

And also, you seemed like you had a lot of fun.

That makes me have fun, so I love that.

- I'm ready for my next role.

I'll play--I don't know, Peppa the Pig.

- I would come and see your show.

- Buy a ticket.

- I'll buy a ticket.

- This outfit is beautiful.

The only thing I would have changed is the hair.

Your head looks so teeny tiny in it. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- But I love the concept of it.

And I could tell how confident you felt in it,

and I enjoyed that.

- I love this dress so much.

And the big shocker of the night

was that you didn't suck.

[laughter]

Shocker.

Did you have fun?

- I actually did have fun.

I just thought, what's gonna get me through this?

Be drunk.

- Yeah.

So you and Peppa assigned the order.

Why did you go second?

- I knew that I wasn't gonna be one of the funniest,

so I wanted to go somewhere in the middle,

and I wanted to go second.

- All right.

Well, thank you.

Up next, Black Peppa.

- Hi, Black Peppa.

- Hi.

- You have this very positive, kind energy.

We were really on your side, so I could feel that you were

a bit nervous in the roast.

But we just wanted you to have fun with it.

- Everyone had such good will for you.

And one of your biggest laughs was when you just said,

"Oh, just laugh."

- I'm bombing hard. It's okay.

You can laugh.

[laughter]

- And we all laughed because we all want you to do well.

- I know how nervous you were

because you've got it in your head that you're not funny.

It's one of those personal roadblocks

that you're going to have to overcome at some point.

But what I do want to give you credit on

is that you kept on going.

This look tonight, wowza, wowza, wowza.

Your silhouette, stunning.

Your hair, stunning.

Your shoulders, stunning.

Like, all of it is just amazing.

We've just got to get your confidence up.

You've got it.

You just gotta know you've got it.

- You need to free yourself.

There's only one person keeping it in place.

Can you guess who that person is?

- I wonder who that can be.

RUPAUL: Yes. Yes.

- It's taken me such a while for me

to grow into my queerness.

I'm now 29 years old.

And every single day, I'm still figuring out who I am.

- The key here is the child who lives inside of you.

Your child is waiting for you, adult you,

to give permission to do it starting now.

All right.

Up next, Pixie Polite.

- Hey, Pixie. - Hi.

- A roast is a comedy challenge,

but you need to go hard.

There were things that were missed.

What was the Stonehenge joke?

- I can finally tick Stonehenge off my bucket list

after seeing Alan's teeth.

- But you didn't say they were Alan's teeth.

- Oh, did I not?

Staring up at Alan today, I can finally say

I've seen Stonehenge.

- Because of that, the room was kind of flat.

- I think because you spoke quite fast,

I didn't understand some of the jokes.

I'm still trying to figure out what the one was before.

- Tonight on the runway, the idea of this is wonderful.

I think the issue for me is we lose Pixie in this.

It's very quilty.

- Okay. Thank you.

- I love the--the twist on "Rule, Britannia,"

this tornado of color,

but I preferred the runway to your roast.

Your roast was a bit lukewarm.

Don't ever snag my fucking teeth off again.

[laughter]

- You know, Pixie, when the roast challenge came up,

I thought, okay, now, this is gonna be an opportunity

for her to really let loose.

You are naturally funny.

And I didn't get any of that.

- When the first few jokes, perhaps, didn't do as well,

I think part of me shrank back a little bit.

- I don't know.

I felt like you were not being you,

your own natural funniness.

- Yeah.

- All right, Pixie.

Up next, Cheddar Gorgeous.

- You know, you're so strong in this competition.

Everybody kind of has eyes on you.

And tonight was the first little chink in the armor

that I saw from this, Cheddar.

I loved the characterization that you did,

but it almost became a play.

- I know what you're thinking.

A drag queen talking about politics?

That's the last thing that this country needs.

- I think it was almost too smart for the room.

- If you were at the National Theater,

I think you'd probably get a standing ovation.

But if you're in a comedy club,

you'd probably get a slow hand clap.

- This runway look has got me very hot under the color.

This was like everything I dated

when I was 14, 15 years old.

That does it for me.

- And this look is beautiful.

And the future is definitely queer.

And I love all the details on the face.

Really impressive.

So thank you.

- Your tone was more of an intellectual take,

so we had to actually listen up,

which is kind of difficult for a drunken crowd like we are.

- I enjoy being funny in conversation.

I'm not really that into being funny on stage.

For me, humor comes from the world that I'm in.

And I like to pick up on things as they happen.

And I also know I'm very dry.

And I think, regardless of what kind of humor I'll do,

I'll always be very dry.

And that's just who I am.

- And you were asked to perform last.

How do you feel about that?

- I mean, I didn't want to perform last.

But that was the position I was given,

so I just had to go with it.

- Well, thank you.

All right. Thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the workroom,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

[energetic music]

- We're back and untucked.

And Danny got very strong critiques,

but I think there's a glimmer of hope for me here.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

- Here we are again.

How we doing, eh?

- I was not expecting good things like that.

- She was just a pissed-up old fart,

and they like seeing that.

- [laughs] - What's new?

- The critique of the evening that Ru said,

that I didn't suck.

- Well, she's not met you on a Saturday night then.

- $20.

I was just trying to do my best.

And I was hoping for these critiques.

So to get them is--

it's just amazing.

- I thought the judges who critiqued me

were really, really fair.

I think--you know, I knew going into it

that I would be really, really dry.

How was I supposed to know that my audience would be so lazy

and that I would be so shit?

[laughs]

It was frustrating to me

a little bit that I was the only person

who told you where I--

I think I should go, and you didn't trust that.

- Like, you said that you wouldn't have put you last--

- I wouldn't.

- Like, we put you there because we believed in you.

- But I did tell you I am quite dry,

quite sarcastic, quite ironic,

and quite slow paced and intellectual.

It's just who I am.

- Yeah.

- I should not have been at the end.

I can't hold that against Jonbers,

and I don't hold that against Jonbers.

But I was right.

What about you guys?

- I mean, the critique wasn't necessarily

something I wasn't expecting.

And I just, you know, feel a bit disappointed in myself

that I couldn't have done better.

- I'll be honest, right, mate.

For some reason, your timing was off.

I think if you'd have got a good couple of laps

in that first 30 seconds, minute,

you'd have smashed tonight.

- Yeah.

I've had a lovely time in office,

but I'm going back through that pink door

into comedy retirement.

- Peppa, how you feeling, angel?

- I don't know.

I'm, like, lost for words because I feel

like I can definitely do better,

but I'm just not in my comfort space.

It's like the third week, and it's comedy, comedy, comedy.

- But you're still here, yeah? - Yeah.

DANNY: So that says a lot.

PEPPA: I bombed at the roast.

However, someone else is in the bottom with me.

I hope the bus is still running because another girl

is about to start packing.

- It was lovely to see the eliminated queens.

Do you think we went too hard on them though?

- No.

- I barely touched them.

I didn't touch them.

I didn't burn them.

[laughter]

- [screams]

[all screaming]

- Did you miss us?

- It's like a Christmas carol.

We've got the ghosts of challenges past back.

It's lovely to see everyone.

You know, the band's all back together again.

- You all look absolutely stunning.

[overlapping chatter]

- Look at this sexy mermaid.

- Made this out of the gold fabric she got in the box.

[overlapping chatter]

- Too little, too late.

- So, girls, what did you think of the roast?

- It was hilarious.

- Danny, you killed it.

DANNY: I set the tone.

I set the pace.

I set the fucking place on fire.

[laughs]

- Was anyone annoyed by any of the reads?

- Were you annoyed by the read?

- I wanted more attack.

- Give us more in the competition,

and we'd have more to say.

- Well, you can have another chance.

- I love your outfit.

[laughter]

[overlapping chatter]

- Is this the top five you expected?

- I'm not, like, surprised by anybody.

- I thought I was gonna snatch this crown.

And here we are, ninth place, you know?

[laughter]

- RuPaul laughed the hardest at your exit.

[laughter]

- Dressed as a moth?

Like, what the fuck was going on in episode four?

- Every single girl, no matter where

you leave in this competition, wants to be in this final.

- I'm really happy to be back with everybody.

I missed you all.

- We missed you too!

JONBERS: I know that this is the week before the final.

I want it so much more.

- To season four, everyone.

[cheers and applause]

- All right.

Now, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think?

Starting with Danny Beard.

- You know, in the roast, we hope that Danny Beard would

come out and shut it down.

And shut it down, Danny Beard did.

- They came out, and they were in charge.

Really funny.

Just polished.

- You are proof that you can't polish your shit,

but you can roll it in rhinestones.

- You could put him on at the Comedy Store.

He was that good.

- And that runway look was iconic.

RUPAUL: Gorgeous.

Clearly, Danny is a pro.

- Everything Danny Beard did tonight was a home run.

And that, my friend, is a sports reference.

[laughter]

You're welcome. RUPAUL: All right.

Let's move on down to Jonbers Blond.

- You know, with Jonbers, I was really proud of her

because she chose an objective, a drunk.

And it actually worked.

- They don't call it Downing Street for nothing.

You know what I mean?

ALAN: It was inspired.

It was clever.

I saw a different side to her.

- I loved her runway look.

I thought it was very cute.

ALAN: I loved it.

And I loved the fiery red around her crotch

and everything. - Of course, you did.

- Of course I did.

- I loved that outfit.

It looked so gorgeous.

Very, very proud of our Jonbers.

All right.

Let's move on down to Black Peppa.

- She wasn't the strongest roaster,

but I was instantly on her side.

- She looked incredible.

that kind of new glare inspired outfit.

And then she started telling jokes.

[laughter]

- Cheddar Gorgeous is so old,

her first gig was when I was born.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

MICHELLE: What I do want to give her credit for,

though, is not giving up.

- As always, she brings it to the runway.

- Whoa.

Powerful, sexy, punk, drag, spectacular.

- She keeps saying, I'm not funny, I'm not funny,

but she clearly has a sense of humor in her fashion.

Let's move on down to Pixie Polite.

- She's got funny bones, yet she was not funny.

- All that focused learning and you still haven't learned

how not to be in the bottom.

- It was so lethargic.

Then she starts slagging off the gaps in my teeth.

And I mean, at the end of the bloody set,

there was tumbleweed stuck between them.

[laughter]

- Stuck between your teeth?

- Yeah.

- I thought on the runway, I liked it.

I appreciated it.

But it was a little different from the other queens.

- The idea was wonderful, but the shape of it was wrong.

The fit of it was wrong.

- Burt she hasn't figured out yet what is her point of view

when it comes to drag.

All right, Cheddar Gorgeous.

- Cheddar tonight in the challenge

was more regional Reginal Art Center than comedy club.

- We knew it was going to be kind of serious.

And then the minute she dropped that act

and started reading the returnees,

it was like, "Ah!"

We got some really funny laughs.

- You are looking gorgeous tonight.

- Thank you.

- Almost as good as you look on Instagram.

[laughter]

- I felt like she killed it on the runway, for sure.

MICHELLE: That look was amazing.

I just thought that was spot on and dynamic.

- When Cheddar walked out on the runway

in that leather outfit, I could smell the poppers.

[laughter]

Her comedy roast, we wanted a little bit

more yuck-yuck and a little less

intellectual introspection.

- Cheddar's smart.

And that--for the first time in this competition, I think,

has come back to bite her.

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Danny Beard, at the general erection,

you were hard to beat.

Condragulations.

You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause] - Yay. Well done.

- And the recipient of a coveted RuPeter badge.

[singing] RuPeter, yeah

- Wear it with pride. - I will.

Thank you so much.

- And most importantly, you've earned your place

in next week's grand finale.

You may step to the back of the stage.

DANNY: Smash it, girls.

Yes, bitches.

Four badges in the final.

Pow. Pow.

Pow. Pow. I'm trying to be cool.

It's not working, but I'm happy.

- Black Peppa, on the runway,

you were a total stud,

but in the challenge, kind of a dud.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

Jonbers Blond, you're safe,

and you've earned your place in next week's grand finale.

- Thank you so much.

- You may step to the back of the stage.

- Thank you.

- Well done, girly.

- Pixie Polite, you're a funny queen,

but your roast was undercooked.

Cheddar Gorgeous, you're a clever queen,

but your roast was overcooked.

Pixie Polite, I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

Cheddar Gorgeous, you are safe,

and you've earned your place in next week's grand finale.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you.

- I'm up against Peppa in the lip sync.

I've seen what she can do.

I'm going to put on a show the best I can.

- Two queens stand before me.

I've consulted with the judges,

but the final decision is mine to make.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come

for you to lip sync

for your life.

[dramatic music]

- I am making it to that final.

Get ready.

This is gonna be a fight.

- Good luck,

and don't

fuck it up.

[Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust"]

- [singing] Let's go.

Steve walks warily down the street

With his brim pulled way down low

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet

Machine guns ready to go

Are you ready

Hey, are you ready for this

Are you hanging on the edge of your seat

Out of the doorway, the bullets rip to the sound of the beat

Yeah

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust

Hey, I'm gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

- Come on, Peppa!

Come on, Pixie!

Come on, girls!

- [singing] How do you think I'm gonna get along

Without you when you're gone

You took me for everything that I had

And kicked me out on my own

Are you happy

Are you satisfied

How long can you stand the heat

Out of the doorway, the bullets rip to the sound of the beat

Look out

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust

Hey, I'm gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

Ooh, shout out

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man

And bring him to the ground

You can beat him, you can cheat him

You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down

But I'm ready

It's ready for you

I'm standing on my own two feet

Out of the doorway, the bullets rip

Repeating to the sound of the beat

Oh, yeah

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust

Yeah

Hey, I'm gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

Black Peppa,

shantay, you stay.

You've earned your way to next week's grand finale.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Pixie Polite, thank you for spreading your pixie dust

all over this competition.

Now sashay away.

- I'd just like to say, thank you all so much.

This experience has been more

than I ever dreamed it could be.

I love you all so much.

Goodbye.

[applause]

- Love you, Pixie.

PIXIE: My girls.

Well done.

You guys are such a deserving top four.

I love you.

All right.

If you ever need me,

just follow the second star on the right

and straight on until morning.

Love you all.

- Love you, baby.

- Oh, how silly.

I am so happy to have made it this far in the competition.

I couldn't have asked for more before I came here.

I'm gutted not to have made it right to the end,

that very last moment, but they were all fabulous.

I just wasn't the judges' cup of tea today.

That's all.

There's been a lot of positives

that I can take out of this experience.

And I think in the future,

I'm gonna be a very different Pixie.

And I'm happy about that.

- Condragulations to my top four queens.

Please step forward.

[applause]

- Yes!

We did it.

Yeah. - Yes!

- Now, I want to hear from you, the fans.

Who do you think deserves

to be the UK's next Drag Race superstar?

Are you team Black Peppa?

Are you team Cheddar Gorgeous?

Are you team Danny Beard?

Or are you team Jonbers Blonde?

Let your voice be heard,

and tune in next week for the grand finale

of "RuPaul's Drag Race UK,"

where we will crown ourselves a winner, baby.

[laughs]

Until then, remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

ALL: Amen.

RUPAUL: All right.

Now, let the music play.

- [singing] To, to, to, to the moon

To the moon, baby

To the moon

Come on and take me away

To, to, to, to the moon

RUPAUL: Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race UK"...

You'll take turns stealing the spotlight

as you perform a mega mix of Drag Race anthems.

[all cheering]

- Oh, my God!

- [laughs]

[all cheering]

- It's only the winners of "RuPaul's Drag Race UK."

- What I didn't expect were the looks and the beauty.

- There's nothing you can't overcome

because look where you are.

- This look just sums you up--

Joan of Arc with a toffee penny.

Love it.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

RUPAUL: UK's guys next Drag Race superstar is...