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Alright. The options for this month's game night are:
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checkers, cards, Double Dutch, Tiddly Winks and--
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"My Mom" isn't a game, Muscle Man.
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That doesn't even make sense.
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Looks like I win!
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Let's play Ball-bo Catcher!
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A crossword puzzle?
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Okay, let's vote.
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Yes, Mordecai?
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Oh, nothing.
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Do you have a better idea?
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We could play one of those stale old games we usually play.
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Or we could play the sci-fi fantasy epic of the century!
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Behold, The Realm of Darthon!
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So, what is it?
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It's a role-playing game.
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We make up an adventure and you guys try to beat it.
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You can use magic and stuff!
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A game of imagination? What fun!
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Sounds lame.
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No way!
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The guy at the store told us it's the hottest RPG of the year!
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All in favor?
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- Yeah, yeah! - I guess.
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Darthon! Darthon!
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Get ready for the best game night of your life!
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Your party walks down a long hallway and reaches a locked door.
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What do you do?
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I smash it open with my war claw!
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Then, a bunch of ladies come out, and they're all,
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"Ooh Muscle Man, quit pinching my butt with your war claw!"
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Roll the 50-sided die to see if you unlock the door.
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All we have is a 48-sided die and two marbles.
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Close enough.
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Did it work?
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I don't think so.
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This blows.
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Mordecai! Mordecai!
39
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But I'll reckon I'd like a turn now!
40
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Cyborg cowboys take three days to awaken from hypersleep.
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Sorry, Pops.
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Can't he cast a saving throw?
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What does all this stuff mean?
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Are we even in Darthon yet?
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Or is that just an artifact for something?
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Your party is suddenly ambushed by a flock of manbats!
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Skips the Mighty gets first strike!
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Let's see...
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Pirate samurai have plus two times two shen...
50
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minus three charisma... divide by number of geese...
51
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Do we have a protractor?
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I'm outta here.
53
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Worst game night ever!
54
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Dude, they're right! This game sucks!
55
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Let's get our money back.
56
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Out of the way! Out of the way, everybody!
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Coming through, coming through!
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Out of the way! Out of the way people!
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We're here for a refund.
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I'd love to give you a refund, but, you need a receipt for that.
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I got a receipt right here.
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Excellent. And now the unopened product?
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What?! You can't return it if it's opened?!
64
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Well, yes! It's clearly stated on the back of your receipt.
65
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What?! That's lame! You can barely even see the writing!
66
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Yes, well, perhaps if you learned to read, it would be easy for you to see.
67
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Good day, gentlemen!
68
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Dude, just give us our money back. This game blows!
69
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Uh, The Realm of Darthon does not blow!
70
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You're probably doing it wrong.
71
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It's a role-playing game.
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You have to use your imagination.
73
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No way, dude! The game is the problem, not us!
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Uh, hey, are you guys gonna be wrapping this up soon?
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We're done here.
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Okay, I guess you won't mind if we tell people how "cool" your game is!
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Hey, everybody! Don't waste your time waiting in line for this huge piece.
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It's probably the worst game we've ever played.
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Yeah, and he won't even give us a refund.
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This guy doesn't give refunds, people!
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Let's go! I want you two out of my store, now!
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We can't let that guy get away with this.
83
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Dude, we spent the last of our cash on it!
84
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We have to get our money back.
85
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So, how do we do that?
86
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We'll just sabotage his business until he gives us our refund.
87
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Heh, nice outfits! Losers!
88
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You don't like these costumes?
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But they're from the "Make Your Own" section of the Darthon gamebook!
90
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That's right! We followed the instructions perfectly.
91
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But you used toilet paper rolls instead of paper towel rolls!
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The costumes look awesome when you do it right.
93
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Yeah? Do they look as awesome as the game pieces?
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Wait! There's lots of other characters if you don't like the pixie sorcerer!
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No there aren't! They're all just the same with different costumes.
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I didn't realize it was that kind of game!
97
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Nobody knows what kind of game it is.
98
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Is it medieval? Sci-fi? Western?
99
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It's a role-playing game!
100
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You have to use your imagination!
101
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That's right! Go get us our refund!
102
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:03,556
No way!
103
00:05:06,196 --> 00:05:09,286
Dude. This campaign is just getting started.
104
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That's it!
105
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The Realm of Darthon does not suck!
106
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Yeah, but your costume does.
107
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No refunds!
108
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Dude, check out our costumes!
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Yeah, where are we?
110
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Welcome, to the Realm of Darthon!
111
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Leave while you still can!
112
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We're not leaving without a refund!
113
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Then come and get it!
114
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Did you hear that?
115
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I think it's coming from a-- ...head!
116
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What are these things?
117
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Ignore it, dude.
118
00:06:51,246 --> 00:06:53,366
They're just lame enemies from the game.
119
00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:56,696
Lame? What do you think of manbats' teamwork?
120
00:07:02,765 --> 00:07:05,395
Next time, send enemies that don't blow!
121
00:07:05,515 --> 00:07:08,425
Well, if you didn't like those enemies,
122
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,844
then how about some Mutant jellyfish!
123
00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:12,764
Robo-bears!
124
00:07:12,764 --> 00:07:15,804
Angry tree people with pixie sorcerers?
125
00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:21,983
Watch out!
126
00:07:23,503 --> 00:07:25,363
Dude! there are too many of the...
127
00:07:25,363 --> 00:07:29,893
Come on! Everyone knows technomancers can summon allies!
128
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:30,533
Rigby!
129
00:07:31,093 --> 00:07:32,712
Summon allies!
130
00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:40,002
What the?! I told you guys I didn't wanna play this game.
131
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We need your help!
132
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We need the refund from the game master!
133
00:07:43,271 --> 00:07:43,981
What?
134
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:50,401
When this is over, you two are dead!
135
00:08:05,259 --> 00:08:08,359
I changed my mind! Technomancers can't summon allies!
136
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:11,469
What?! He's just cheating so he can win!
137
00:08:11,469 --> 00:08:12,699
Quit cheating!
138
00:08:13,039 --> 00:08:16,178
I'm not cheating! I'm using my imagination!
139
00:08:16,178 --> 00:08:18,618
That's what makes this game fun!
140
00:08:18,618 --> 00:08:20,618
That's what makes this game blow!
141
00:08:20,618 --> 00:08:21,378
Enough!
142
00:08:21,828 --> 00:08:25,568
I won't allow you to insult my realm any longer!
143
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:33,397
I am Darthon!
144
00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:40,906
Still think this game blows?
145
00:08:44,496 --> 00:08:47,735
Lightning bolts have no effect on giant monsters!
146
00:08:49,035 --> 00:08:51,885
Projectile weapons deal damage to the user!
147
00:08:54,355 --> 00:08:57,555
Oh no! You stepped in a permafrost puddle!
148
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Players are frozen in place!
149
00:09:02,214 --> 00:09:03,264
Stay back!
150
00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:06,494
Self-destruct?
151
00:09:09,523 --> 00:09:11,023
We are not frozen.
152
00:09:11,973 --> 00:09:13,633
Looks like it's our turn!
153
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:17,463
Your party is washed away by a flood!
154
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:20,542
Our +3 awesomeness repels water!
155
00:09:24,152 --> 00:09:26,202
Fireballs are made of kittens!
156
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:28,262
Kittens are man-eating tigers!
157
00:09:28,512 --> 00:09:30,542
Man-eating tigers turn into stuffed animals!
158
00:09:32,761 --> 00:09:34,571
Players lose their weapons when running!
159
00:09:36,351 --> 00:09:39,811
Warriors carry the immunity sword, which is immune to all rule changes!
160
00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:42,020
W-what? No! That's not--
161
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Now give us our refund.
162
00:09:59,769 --> 00:10:01,879
Yeah, we did it!
163
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,518
Dude, are you okay?
164
00:10:04,798 --> 00:10:07,388
Yeah. I'm fine. Here's your refund.
165
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:09,308
No, it's cool. You should keep it.
166
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,848
No, no. You beat me fair and square.
167
00:10:12,538 --> 00:10:13,638
Are you sure you're okay?
168
00:10:13,638 --> 00:10:15,947
Yeah. We can take you to the hospital.
169
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,347
No. No. I'm fine.
170
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,887
I just need an icepack.
171
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,087
I... just... gotta...
172
00:10:23,087 --> 00:10:25,237
I gotta go up and lay down for a bit.
173
00:10:26,446 --> 00:10:28,576
Mordecai! Rigby!
174
00:10:28,766 --> 00:10:30,816
Pops! Where have you guys been?
175
00:10:30,816 --> 00:10:33,306
We were hiding in the armor closet, then suddenly,
176
00:10:33,306 --> 00:10:35,466
we were in the stock room at Shoe Farm.
177
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:39,295
Good thing it was worth it! Seven bones, baby!
178
00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:43,635
Seven dollars?! We almost died for seven dollars?!
179
00:10:43,635 --> 00:10:45,285
The numbers aren't important!
180
00:10:45,285 --> 00:10:46,465
It was the principle!
181
00:10:46,465 --> 00:10:50,324
Yeah! If we're gonna spend that kind of money, it's gotta be on a cool game!
182
00:10:50,404 --> 00:10:54,504
Yeah! Something like Trail of Elderich or The Lair of Anthalon.
183
00:10:54,624 --> 00:10:56,254
Dude! Is that out?
184
00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:58,293
Yeah. It came out last week.
13538
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