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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,234 Set portside jettison. Hit that baby! 2 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,237 We just jettisoned from the portside airlocks. 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,239 We're gonna be home in six months, baby! 4 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,657 No, the whole point 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,575 is to jettison from the back of the ship 6 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,411 because that's what pushes you forwards. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,955 You have knocked us off course. 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,915 Our new trajectory, eight years. 9 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,294 Don't touch my stuff! 10 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:42,268 ...stand on deck four. Please report to reception. 11 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,019 Welcome. 12 00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:46,664 Yeah, I have seen the actual security footage. 13 00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:47,857 - Of you? - Yes. Yes. 14 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,524 Climbing into a dumpster like a raccoon? 15 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,527 Like... like an inebriated, sexy raccoon. 16 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,597 Ooh, my kind of raccoon. 17 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,866 The chicken's good. 18 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,200 - It's not bad, is it? - Yeah. 19 00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:01,120 When you think that it's just reconstituted eel protein, 20 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,764 it's actually... it's actually all right. 21 00:01:02,789 --> 00:01:04,098 But are the portions getting smaller? 22 00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:06,709 No, I think you're just eating it from farther away, 23 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,585 so it looks... 24 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,338 But we've got enough for, like, the next four weeks? 25 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,714 - Definitely. - Yeah. 26 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,716 We've got beef and chicken coming out of our ears. 27 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,031 Coming out of our eels, in fact. 28 00:01:16,056 --> 00:01:17,970 Oh, I love it when you talk eels to me. 29 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,346 - Because I am captain... - Yeah? 30 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,140 ...anything I say is automatically seductive. 31 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,308 - Hmm. - Pass the salt. 32 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,435 Oh, yeah, condiment man. 33 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,019 Afraid grandma's not gonna make it. 34 00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:28,438 Oh, poor grandma. 35 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,298 Honey, I'm filing for divorce. 36 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,112 Oh. I'm sorry. That was... 37 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,239 Captain Blunder Gob strikes again. 38 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,908 No, no, it's okay. Ignore my face. 39 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,435 Charles is history. He jumped ship a long time ago, so... 40 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,412 I'm sorry, I'm just so... 41 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,915 I'm so not match fit at this kind of thing. 42 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,333 No, you really are. 43 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,543 I made these waffles this morning. 44 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,713 - And look at that. - He's so funny. 45 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,590 - You got your batter. - There he goes. 46 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,675 We got our ice cube tray for the mold. 47 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,719 Doing recipes out of bits of his cabin. 48 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,221 And pour the mixture onto our preheated iron. 49 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,766 - The kids love his show. - So do I. 50 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,434 - Do you? - I absolutely love it. 51 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,686 It sounds crazy, but crazy happens 52 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:08,979 when you crank up the Frank. 53 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,899 And the kids, I'd love to get to know them better. 54 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,107 Give them a tour of the ship. 55 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,235 Oh, my God, the kids would love that. 56 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,596 So maybe this could be more than four weeks? 57 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:21,617 I think it could be a lot more than four weeks. 58 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,327 Yeah. 59 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,329 - I think I should get this. - Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,414 Hey, Ryan, uh, this is just your daily reminder 61 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,291 to tell the passengers that they're gonna be stuck 62 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,044 on this elegant space finger for nearly a decade. 63 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,187 It's Matt. 64 00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:36,715 You know, I'm going to put this on do-not-disturb. 65 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,336 Well, they seem to be taking it well. 66 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,178 - What? - Did he tell you? 67 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,488 Uh, no... no, I was just... 68 00:02:44,182 --> 00:02:45,516 - Would you excuse me a moment? - Sure. 69 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,560 ♪ It's time For a royal announcement ♪ 70 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:50,062 - No, no, no. - Oh, my God, what is it? 71 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,897 - Duty calls. Duty howls, in fact. - Thank you. 72 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,078 You have to tell the truth, Ryan. 73 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,610 Should I use a more aggressive tack? 74 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,987 Because I find that British people 75 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,155 often respond better to abuse than encouragement. 76 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,490 Now, look, Matt, 77 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,535 you telling me that my breath smells like a cat's back passage 78 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,561 is not gonna make me tell them any quicker. 79 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,093 Okay, just humor me. 80 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,957 Craptain Ryan, Craptain Lying. 81 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,584 Oh, is this... You've started, have you? 82 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,668 - Mm-hmm. - All right. 83 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,337 Yeah, you depressed, anorexic Santa Claus. 84 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,005 - That's what you are. - Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,924 How do you shave that face of lies? 86 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,301 - I use an electric. - Yeah? 87 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,136 Well, you're a pissy little mummy's boy. 88 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,360 - Mummy's boy! - My mother's dead. 89 00:03:24,385 --> 00:03:27,933 Yes, because she hated you, so she exploded. 90 00:03:28,227 --> 00:03:29,310 - Hmm. - Is this getting us anywhere? 91 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,519 - It's not, no, no. - Okay. 92 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,355 I'll tell you why. Because if I tell the passengers 93 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,441 that we are stuck up here for another eight years 94 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,692 and the food is running out, 95 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,193 I'm gonna become the next all-you-can-eat buffet. 96 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,364 I will tell them when I've seen the food shortage plan 97 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,616 that Rav is working on. 98 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,035 Ping! Sounds like Rav's food shortage plan is ready. 99 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,288 Yes, that is exactly what me being here signifies 100 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,706 and presumably what that pinging sound was about. 101 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,751 Oh, here's someone who knows what a long time looks like. 102 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,086 Spike Martin, come join us please. 103 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,423 Yes, I certainly will. Totally impromptu. 104 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,216 This is feeling to me like an intervention. 105 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,209 Ryan, it's time to retract your head from your ass. 106 00:04:05,234 --> 00:04:08,528 - Don't be afraid of the truth. - I'm not afraid of the truth. 107 00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:11,226 I'm just afraid of it leaving my lips. 108 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,703 Jell-O in a shower cap mold. 109 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,483 Check out Frank's Kitchen every day at 3:00. 110 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,259 It's home cooking, without the home. 111 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,428 Love that jiggle. 112 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:24,949 Food's taken a dive. 113 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,077 I had a one-season four seasons pizza yesterday. 114 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,203 - Winter. - Ah, the worst. 115 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,871 I like the food being all the same color. 116 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,689 It's less confusing for my mouth. 117 00:04:33,246 --> 00:04:34,667 - God, I miss real tomatoes. - Tell me about it. 118 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,210 - I know, right? - Tell me about it. 119 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,879 I am so desperate for... 120 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,291 ...relatable vegetables myself. 121 00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,508 I don't know how you're still eating that. 122 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,009 - You have to stop. - Well, the good news is, 123 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,220 is we only have to deal with four more weeks of that. 124 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,138 I mean, Captain Ryan would've told us if the trip 125 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,473 - is gonna be any longer. - Yeah. 126 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,267 Unless he has a good reason not to, which he doesn't. 127 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,104 Not that I'd know. Why are you asking? 128 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,106 - Isn't this your ship? - What? 129 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,674 - Isn't this your ship? - Ship... 130 00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:01,676 Yeah, name only. 131 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,612 You know, you could just as easily blame 132 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,073 Martin Luther King for king-sized beds. 133 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,741 - Blame him for kings. - Or kings. 134 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,868 - Or sizes. - Can I grab you? 135 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,286 Rav is ready with the food report 136 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,538 in the boardroom. 137 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,581 That sounds more like a Ryan kind of thing. 138 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,190 I don't even know where the, uh, boardroom is. 139 00:05:17,215 --> 00:05:19,253 That's true, I was in the boardroom once, 140 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,404 and Mr. Judd came in, and he said, 141 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,614 "Oh, what is this room?" 142 00:05:25,815 --> 00:05:28,171 Um, I'm not good at whatever this... 143 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,639 Your face... What... What are you doing? 144 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,851 Nothing. Like my role on this ship. 145 00:05:34,046 --> 00:05:38,146 Well, I hear that it's good news and that you will like it. 146 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,815 - I should take that. - Later. 147 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,066 See you later. 148 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,359 What's the good news? 149 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,028 It's not good news, and the boardroom is this way. 150 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,488 Don't patronize me, I know where the fucking boardroom is. 151 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,496 Oh, my God. 152 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,417 Tomorrow, I'm cooking steak in a trouser press. 153 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:53,783 Remember, folks, anything can be a garnish 154 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,451 if you're brave enough. 155 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,001 Honey, I'm done filming my show! 156 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,585 It's not a show, Frank. 157 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,297 It's you on a video feed making popcorn with a hairdryer. 158 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,301 God, I've been here for months. 159 00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:09,578 When can I leave this cabin? 160 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,764 You know what? I'm done. 161 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,682 I'm done. It's time to get out of here. 162 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,267 - What? No! - Let me go and talk to them. 163 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,477 - Honey, you can't! - I can just... 164 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,644 I can beg forgiveness. 165 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,022 I can be very, very humble when I need to be. 166 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,524 Do you remember when I ran over your sister's foot? 167 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,886 Karen, you knocked us off course for eight years. They hate you. 168 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,864 - They hate me? - I... 169 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,367 Hate is such a strong word. Uh... 170 00:06:32,562 --> 00:06:35,482 Which is why it's so appropriate for how they feel about you. 171 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:36,947 Okay? 172 00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:40,375 I have to go bowling with the guys. I'm going to see 173 00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,711 if they're still drawing your face on the pins. 174 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,803 Hey, I saw you making them waffles. They looked good. 175 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,137 - Didn't they? - Yeah. 176 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,305 I'm glad you watched. 177 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,956 We got to get you watching, man. Come on. 178 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,396 Hey, new faces and some old ones I haven't seen in so long, 179 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,648 they seem like new ones. 180 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,274 Just stop it, will you? We're not buying it. 181 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,303 Buying what? 182 00:07:05,328 --> 00:07:06,902 The whole "I don't know what's going on" thing. 183 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,696 Is there something going on, Ryan, that I don't know about? 184 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,116 Judd, shut your bit. Rav, let's hear it. 185 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,492 I've put some numbers into the model, 186 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,411 and the results are... Whoo! 187 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:20,457 Relax, nobody's gonna shoot you. You're just the messenger. 188 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,376 Oh, I'm sorry, I just get quite nervous when I'm... 189 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,793 ...nervous. 190 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,170 That's an eclectic outfit. 191 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,256 Are you trying to, uh, flummox predators? 192 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,674 All right, well, I arrived on the ship 193 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:29,842 with a limited wardrobe, 194 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,052 so I had to borrow a few items from the deceased. 195 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,720 And technically, it's not even really borrowing 196 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,681 'cause it's unlikely they'll want it back. They're... 197 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,599 - Rav, the plan. - Sorry, yes, okay. 198 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,393 Obviously, we're all aware 199 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,378 of the food and resources shortage issue. 200 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,608 No. 201 00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:46,150 I'm sorry. I really am dropping it now. 202 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,609 And so... 203 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,903 The passengers will be split into two groups. 204 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,470 The first group... 205 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,724 the Guaranteed... 206 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,143 will be fed. 207 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,814 The second group will be given a chance to... 208 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,192 manifest their own... 209 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,444 destiny... 210 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,864 sealed below deck. 211 00:08:11,682 --> 00:08:12,682 What? 212 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,095 That's it? That's your plan? 213 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,764 That we turn half the passengers into a screaming, 214 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,641 underfloor heating system? 215 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,727 Oh, this is going to put a stain on my record. 216 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,230 We would obviously provide them with some initial supplies, 217 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,400 seeds, sourdough cultures, a urine filtration system. 218 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,575 And then to benefit the mental health 219 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,690 of the Guaranteed, we would cease all communication with... 220 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,829 - the Pioneers. - "Pioneers"? 221 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,290 What... Pioneers of what? Pop-up cemeteries? 222 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,125 Okay, if you could just take some of that rage 223 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,043 and direct it towards the model. 224 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,336 Did you know about this? 225 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,673 I knew that we would have to make some difficult decisions. 226 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,509 I just didn't know it'd be explained with stickers. 227 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,010 Why would people do this? 228 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,138 Uh, you said there'd be no judgement here. 229 00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,849 That was before you suggested industrial slaughter. 230 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,310 I have a question. What the fuck? 231 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,729 Look, I don't like this, but something's got to give. 232 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,398 - It's either die or die. - I vote against Rav's plan. 233 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,985 Okay, but yeah, let's not call Rav's plan "Rav's Plan." 234 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,238 - Okay, stop saying "Rav's plan." - What would you prefer? 235 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,360 "Rav Mulcair's Festival of Murder"? 236 00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:20,827 Look, is it not better that half of us die quickly 237 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,829 than that all of us starve slowly, 238 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,206 - just to play devil's advocate? - And that's okay, is it? 239 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,000 Advocating for the devil. I'm not sure if you're aware, 240 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,730 Matt, but the devil's generally agreed to be a bad egg. 241 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,253 Well, thanks, Rav. 242 00:09:31,648 --> 00:09:33,340 Turns out it's not so easy, is it? 243 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,390 Raining blood on people's dreams? 244 00:09:35,415 --> 00:09:36,551 You're gonna have to tell them 245 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,051 we're not going home in a month, Ryan. 246 00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:41,139 Yes, that is something I do know. 247 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,725 Not going to do it. You can't make me tell them. 248 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,727 I'm going to go and gargle some bleach now, 249 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,562 so my voice box packs in. 250 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,398 No, that will actually kill you. 251 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,563 Added bonus. 252 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:58,740 If these are the Heavens, Mr. Judd, are we then gods? 253 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,411 Or stardust returning home? 254 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,915 After a freak accident, Avenue 5 is stuck in space, 255 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,876 but a new streaming drama imagining life on the ship 256 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,296 is fuckin' hella trending. 257 00:10:12,764 --> 00:10:17,050 Iris, turn around. Talk to me. Let me see your lying face! 258 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,136 Is that what you wanted? 259 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,097 Who are you? 260 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,058 Now, we're gonna meet a real-life survivor 261 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:29,688 and all-around girly boss bad bitch, Iris Kimura. 262 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:30,814 Whoo! 263 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,398 - Hi, Dawn. - Come on, some love! 264 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,568 Whoo-hoo! Whoo! 265 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,253 Your cough is the best. 266 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,531 The government has abandoned us, and we need your... 267 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,991 - Iris, spill the tea. - Yeah. 268 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:45,122 Is the real Avenue 5 anything like this new streaming drama? 269 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,581 Well, the real captain has a beard. 270 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,084 And, uh, I'm here. 271 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,128 - Yeah. - You know, not in space, uh... 272 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,546 I don't get it. 273 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,049 But... but more importantly, the government has abandoned us, 274 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,092 - and we need... - Don't fuck off while she's talking. 275 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,385 Stick around. In thirty minutes, 276 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,763 I will be unpacking a suitcase I found on my driveway. 277 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,139 I love suitcases. 278 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,415 Back to Iris. 279 00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:08,351 Uh, yes, the... the government has abandoned us, 280 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,686 so we need to fund a... 281 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,298 Fuck the government. 282 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,941 Yes, John-The-Bap-Fist, uh, I'm here to raise awareness, 283 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:17,504 - by which I mean money. And... - Show us your feet. 284 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,821 Really? Are they gonna keep interrupting every time... 285 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,573 Why are the comms down, Iris? 286 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,450 - I... I don't know. - Spit it, sister. 287 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,785 Well, because the comms are down, 288 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,495 - I don't... It's hard to... - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 289 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,080 Why doesn't her face move? 290 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,498 I can move my face. 291 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,665 - Show 'em, Iris. - No. 292 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,691 Do it. 293 00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,606 Will she take the cheese cracker challenge then? 294 00:11:33,631 --> 00:11:34,952 - Yes. - No. No. 295 00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:36,696 How are the passengers coping with the news 296 00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,256 they're stuck for eight years? 297 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,159 Did they freak the fuck out? 298 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,441 They took it with dignity, StinkyRick. 299 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,247 I mean, I imagine. I wasn't there. 300 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,558 And also, the comms are down. 301 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,560 Right, but they know they're stuck for eight years. 302 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,895 They... they have been told. 303 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,359 Should we do the, uh, just do the cracker challenge now, 304 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,361 - get it over with? - She wants those crackers. 305 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,117 Question one. If you could go back in time 306 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,576 and murder one historical figure, 307 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,643 who would it be? 308 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,122 Jay Leno. 309 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,208 I mean, you can only work with the options you're given. 310 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,127 Mass death or selective death. 311 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,920 There's no vegan option. I'm sorry. 312 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,588 But I do think we owe it to the passengers 313 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,257 to prepare them for the possibility 314 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,967 - that it's gonna be eight years. - No. 315 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,845 - Let's utterly not do that. - Yeah, I'm going to. 316 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,514 What the shaved dickens are you doing? 317 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,683 - Sir, hey. - No! 318 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,601 We are doing a little survey of the passengers... 319 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:32,977 - Hi. - ...about what they are 320 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,854 least looking forward to back on Earth. 321 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,231 There's nothing I'm not looking forward to. 322 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,067 I hate it up here. Breathing recycled farts. 323 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,069 Well, that was a lovely chat. Let's go. 324 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,387 No, no, no. Come on, come on. 325 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,906 Maybe there's a coworker you work with, right? 326 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,908 Where you think, "Ugh, if I didn't see that prick again 327 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,119 for eight years, that would be perfect." 328 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,319 What? Eight years? That's a crazy number. 329 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,667 Sorry, what is this? 330 00:12:52,692 --> 00:12:56,917 This? This is just a short, one-question hypothetical. 331 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,836 That was great feedback. 332 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,088 Oh, you want some feedback? 333 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,923 The kettle in my cabin stopped whistling. 334 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,334 It just splutters like a sea otter being choked out. 335 00:13:05,359 --> 00:13:06,887 Um, so there's a suggestion box 336 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,555 - on, um, deck five. - 'Course there is. 337 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,790 - Off you go. - Thanks. 338 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,893 The dumpling mold is the pocket of your pants. 339 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,961 Just make sure you're not wearing the pants. 340 00:13:14,986 --> 00:13:17,272 Hey, Rav, what if we used Frank 341 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,691 to tell the passengers about the eight years? 342 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,360 Frank, the guy who made a haggis in a condom? 343 00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,487 Yeah, it was delicious. 344 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,364 His show has reach, right? We could use him 345 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,810 to help the passengers acclimate to the coming blunder-fuck. 346 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,479 - Sorry about earlier. - Which earlier? 347 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,648 Yeah, good point. All of them, I suppose. 348 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,518 Everything all right with the eels? 349 00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:40,587 Apart from the fact that we get all our food from them. 350 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,339 Yeah, they're still not reproducing at the rate 351 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,423 that we need them to, 352 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,808 so we may have to stimulate reproduction. 353 00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:49,053 Manually? Like... like they do with horses? 354 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,847 Yeah, not totally out of the question. 355 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,390 No, I would say that it is, 356 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,935 but that's because I'd always imagined my fate hinging 357 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,145 on something nobler than wanking an eel. 358 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,169 But there you go. 359 00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,962 Life is pain. 360 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,734 I've got to go and tell the passengers. 361 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,027 - You're what? - Yep. 362 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,904 I'm going to tell them that we're not going to get home 363 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,822 - for eight years. - Really? 364 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:10,016 You're gonna do it? You... You... You're gonna tell them? 365 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,327 I am resisting with every fiber of my being, 366 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,163 which is how I know it's the right thing to do. 367 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,333 Wow, that could be a mob. 368 00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:20,335 Sweetie, you should go hide in the bathroom. 369 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,547 Nice. Put the troll back in the cave. 370 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,631 - Hi. - Hey. 371 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,966 Bit of an urgent situation. 372 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,426 We were wondering if you would do some public outreach work 373 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,970 for us on your show. 374 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,013 Consider it done, of course. Yeah, happy to. 375 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,181 - Well, thank you. - Yeah, um... 376 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,558 Hold on, why would you wanna use Frank? 377 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,894 - Oh, God. - I mean, his audience must be tiny, 378 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,063 and I'm guessing most of them watch it on mute, so... 379 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,439 All right, sweetie, why don't you 380 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,399 maybe go take a nap or write in your penance journal. 381 00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:45,443 Okay? 382 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,654 Okay, the... the passengers love Frank, 383 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,781 so we can use that to tell the people 384 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,075 that it's gonna be eight years till we're back to Earth. 385 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,786 Everyone knows we're eight years from Earth. 386 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,663 I mean, why would you pick at that scab? 387 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,647 Exactly, that's why we need Frank to soften... 388 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:00,750 - Wait, sorry. - I'm sorry? 389 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,003 - You think the passengers know? - Of course they know. 390 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,046 That's why Frank's bricked me up in here, 391 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,841 - 'cause everybody blames me. - Oh, my God. 392 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,968 - Hmm. - You kept her in here? 393 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,845 Uh, kept... kept is... That's a strong word. 394 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,388 It's... it's like a shrouding. 395 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,413 Wait a minute. 396 00:15:15,438 --> 00:15:18,393 The passengers don't know? Ryan hasn't told them yet? 397 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,187 No, they think we're four weeks from Earth because of you. 398 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,523 Karen, you could be out there living like a GI 399 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:26,484 who liberated Paris right now with garlands of flowers 400 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,801 and multiple STDs. 401 00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,881 You told me 402 00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:33,867 that I couldn't leave the cabin because the passengers wanted 403 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,786 to use my sphincter as a hockey puck. 404 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,747 - Ooh. - I was protecting her. 405 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,914 It's like, you know, 406 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,916 sometimes the best way of protecting someone 407 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,128 - is by subjugating them. - Oh, Frank. 408 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,048 Okay, but, Frank, the vow is "to have and to hold," right? 409 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,634 - Not "hold hostage." - It's always the quiet ones. 410 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,469 I just had the chance to be me. 411 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,846 - What? - I know now that that was wrong. 412 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,390 I have to tell these guys the truth. 413 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,142 - Everybody needs to know. - No! No, no, no. 414 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,560 No, look, I don't deal well with chaos! 415 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,520 Um, please, can somebody get me a weighted blanket 416 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,605 and a red inhaler? 417 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,774 You're gonna be inhaling my red fist... 418 00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,361 ...if somebody doesn't bring me Captain Ryan 419 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,381 - right here, right now! - Help. 420 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,575 Wow, I am so proud of you. 421 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,116 Well, that's a first. 422 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,197 Yeah, it's like watching my child learn how to walk. 423 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,788 But how you gonna tell 'em? 424 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,498 Uh, I was thinking very badly. 425 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,626 No, no, no. Come on. You're gonna be great. 426 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,252 You want to rehearse the whole thing with me? 427 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:29,881 No thanks. You don't rehearse expelling kidney stones. 428 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,581 No, I just, uh, I've got to go in there and just do it. 429 00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:34,895 Yes. You just got to do it. You just got to take the leap, 430 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,554 - and you got to just do it! - I'm going to do it! 431 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,390 You tell the truth, and you make me proud! 432 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,974 - I'm gonna make myself proud. - Yes. 433 00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,976 I'm gonna confront all my weaknesses. 434 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,145 All previous wrongs will be corrected. 435 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,496 Karen has entered the game. 436 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,840 After I've dealt with this. 437 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:57,307 - What is it, Iris? - Is this love? What we have? 438 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,496 If love is mostly darkness, yes. 439 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,250 Oh. 440 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,293 Uh, we saw the interview. 441 00:17:07,553 --> 00:17:08,570 Fun, right? 442 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,298 You don't think the lighting made me look severe? 443 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,674 - Uh... - Yeah, just put it down there. 444 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,758 Can I help you? 445 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,200 Uh, no, I'm good. 446 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,390 Oh, God, that is... that is well gone. 447 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,350 Get me a ginger snap and an update. 448 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,978 Okay, take the science project and go home. 449 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,606 I say home. I assume wherever you sleep has a license plate. 450 00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:32,015 Okay, first up, I'm here to fix the delay with the ship's comms. 451 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:33,987 I like the delay. 452 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,823 This is an algorithm generator. It analyses your chat profile 453 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,575 to accurately predict what you're going to say, 454 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,701 and then says it. 455 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,369 All you need is a big enough user data set. 456 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,704 So, if you'd pass me your tablet? 457 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,748 - Under no circumstances. - Okay, give me your tablet. 458 00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,128 Absolutely. There you are. 459 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,376 What are you... 460 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,235 See, it now knows enough about Alan 461 00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:53,129 to predict how he'll respond in any situation. 462 00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:55,550 Try it. Have a chat. 463 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,843 I don't chat with Alan. 464 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,786 Oh, go on. Cross something off your bucket list. 465 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:03,725 Hi. 466 00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:05,960 That's it? Hi? 467 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,503 How are you? 468 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,552 Uh, nervous. 469 00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,778 Anything else to say for yourself? 470 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,926 Yes. Can I go now? 471 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,985 That was uncanny. 472 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,680 Except I would have started with "Can I go now?" 473 00:18:19,705 --> 00:18:20,932 Right. 474 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,773 What is that, your victim's ears? 475 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,296 Ah, there it is. 476 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,040 You're from the Office of the Other President? 477 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:30,120 TOTOPOTUS, yeah. You'd think I'd buy a nicer tie. 478 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,253 I'm just, uh, accessing the ship's comms. 479 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,047 - Uh, uh, no... - Um... 480 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,550 Yep. As I thought. 481 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,803 Someone, I'm guessing you and Judd, turned off comms. 482 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,221 You're not authorized to think that. 483 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,306 So those passengers, they don't know they're marooned 484 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,519 in space for eight years. Well, this is a ball ache. 485 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,939 I think you need to go, now, to hell. 486 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:52,190 On behalf of TOTOPOTUS, 487 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,841 I'm commandeering your operation. 488 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,236 The room is ours. 489 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,280 Uh... 490 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,448 - Up, up, up. - No, no. 491 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,840 Yeah, just, uh, harvest it. Take it all. 492 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,746 Hey! Those are our wires! You don't deserve them! 493 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,076 Oh, no, they're mine now. 494 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,208 And I'm reopening comms with Avenue 5. 495 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,901 So you've got 30 minutes until showtime. 496 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,756 And this is the bridge, I think. 497 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,425 I don't actually know. I've never been here before. 498 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,469 Oh. What's the maximum speed of this craft? 499 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,096 Good question. What a good question. 500 00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:25,473 And one I wish I could answer, but I feel like it would be 501 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,725 culturally insensitive to our captain, 502 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:31,688 Captain Ryan, who is in charge of this ship and this voyage 503 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,815 and any changes that happen to the voyage 504 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,318 that cannot be known by us, or specifically by me. 505 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,153 - Okay? You getting all that? - I think so. 506 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,697 What is that? What do... 507 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,115 How do I get rid of this? 508 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,950 - Iris? - It's me. 509 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,994 Got some new tech to fix the delay. 510 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,246 Predicts your speech by collating everything you ever said, 511 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,706 then predicts what you're gonna say. 512 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,710 Cool. Um, how much money do I have left? Please say lots. 513 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,253 You have enough to eat. Be happy. 514 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,462 Welcome back, Iris. 515 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,172 Restoring smart-seat to your default settings. 516 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,216 Are you calling me from the toilet? 517 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,926 When I do that, I'm a goddamn animal. 518 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,135 The Office of the Other POTUS know we've been blocking the comms. 519 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,135 What? 520 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,305 They're switching them back on. 521 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,434 And I'm calling you from, not during. 522 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,269 Your pH levels are normal. 523 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,353 Oh, that's ironic, 524 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,897 since you're kind of acidic as a person. 525 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,356 Wait. You've been blocking the comms? 526 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,608 Ryan needs to tell everyone 527 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,318 they're stuck up there for eight years. 528 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,485 We're not almost home? 529 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,529 Oh, shit, she's not supposed to know that. 530 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,948 Oh, that's not me confirming the information, by the way. 531 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,283 But they need to be told in a sensitive way. 532 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,535 That's great. You mean like this? 533 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,871 Hey, Cap! When we're home, 534 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,332 I'm getting a tattoo of you on my glute. 535 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,167 That is so humbling. 536 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,795 Hey. Whoa, Captain, where's the fire? 537 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,672 Uh... Oh, Spike, can you give these guys 538 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,740 a VIP tour of the bridge? Would that be okay? 539 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,928 For sure. Come on. Let's go eat space! 540 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,368 Are you delegating spending time with us? 541 00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:49,307 - No. - Yeah. 542 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,210 Spike is the best... 543 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,418 that we have. 544 00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:56,895 She said eight years. 545 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,400 No, I think you misheard. I believe she said eight... 546 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,361 Eight ears. She had eight ears. 547 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,363 His English is not good English. 548 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,989 I heard what she said, and that wasn't it. 549 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,325 She's a hologram. She's not a real person, by definition. 550 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,994 - Okay, but I definitely heard her say... - She's not a real person. 551 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,788 You guys don't want to watch an argument about reality. 552 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,957 - Let's check out something cooler. - Is there gonna be a fight? 553 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,625 Well, if there is, we do not have tickets. 554 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,378 Hey, kids, how about some hot chocolate with sprinkles? 555 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,612 Hmm? Man, I wish we had some. 556 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,054 Ryan, is it true? 557 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,557 That nobody knows we're here for eight years? 558 00:21:29,385 --> 00:21:32,855 See, I... I thought I was doing the passengers a service. 559 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,268 They've had five months 560 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:35,895 in a state of blissful ignorance. 561 00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:37,685 How could you do that to me 562 00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:39,560 after all we've been through together? 563 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,609 We haven't been through anything together. 564 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,676 Exactly. 565 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,307 You are a small, small man. 566 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,437 And I am going to grate you... 567 00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:55,915 like a nutmeg. 568 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,751 - Honey, what are you... - No, no! 569 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,461 - Um, do something. - Nah, um... 570 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,713 No! 571 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,172 - No, no. - Go on. You're a captain. 572 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,675 If you can marry people, you can restrain them as well. 573 00:22:06,597 --> 00:22:08,805 That's... None of that. No, Karen, Karen, Karen. 574 00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:10,165 Oh! 575 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,265 - Foot! - Eff your foot. 576 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,645 Dig deep, sister. This is your time. 577 00:22:14,670 --> 00:22:16,894 - Whose side are you on? - The winner's. 578 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,750 Always the winner's. 579 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,858 Do we have any tranquilizers? She needs tranq-ing! 580 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,985 Let this take place. This needs to happen. 581 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,154 Karen, don't... don't... 582 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:34,370 He trapped me, Ryan, like a hog in a pen. 583 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,360 Is she crying or orgasming? 584 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,422 Is she asleep? 585 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,757 Just stay focused because there may be 586 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,550 an anaconda squeeze coming. 587 00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:49,635 Okay, kids, uh, listen, 588 00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,555 same rules as life drawing class. 589 00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,848 You look, don't touch. 590 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,349 Well, I like what you've done with the place, 591 00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,602 which seems to be to cover it in dirt. 592 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,729 Yeah, we're going for a subtle layered look. 593 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,230 Uh, guys? Spike? 594 00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:03,107 I didn't know we were running a daycare. 595 00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,776 No, actually, the captain organized us 596 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,027 a little tour, so... 597 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,696 Oh, that's... They're playing with all the buttons. Nope. 598 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,514 No, no, no. No. 599 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,704 She's locked it. 600 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,137 Oh, like when you locked Daddy's car, remember? 601 00:23:18,161 --> 00:23:18,938 Right. 602 00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:20,958 And she's... What? She... she's... 603 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,960 - She switched our course. - She's what? 604 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,295 She switched our course. 605 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,338 - Where to? - She's... 606 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,506 Still Earth. Please say still Earth. 607 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,174 Is it "bad" bad? 608 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,095 No, Spike, it is much, much worse. 609 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,179 Okay, I think we're gonna go, so let's say thank you. 610 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,515 - Thanks. - Thank you. Gracias. 611 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,141 Thanks, kids! See you in hell! 612 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:38,935 This is exactly why I don't want children! 613 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,478 Can we use, uh, the old fuel-burn... 614 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,896 - Uh... - ...get back in the old course? 615 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,524 Uh, well, we've got... That's six fuel burns left. 616 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:45,900 So, we use one to get back... 617 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,800 No, we'll be 400 years old by the time we get home. 618 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,804 We're just gonna have to go with the new course. 619 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,285 There he is. Ryan! Hey! 620 00:23:56,309 --> 00:24:00,039 Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! 621 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,083 - Four more weeks! - Okay, okay. 622 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,127 - Four more weeks! - All right, all right. 623 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,711 All right, look. Ladies and gentlemen, 624 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:08,417 I do have an announcement. 625 00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:12,718 Uh, it appears that we may not be returning 626 00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:16,639 to Earth for a considerable number of months. 627 00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,392 Oh! See? You see? 628 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,435 How long have you known that, you bag of shit? 629 00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:23,980 We're heading towards the Sun! 630 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,940 We're headed towards the Sun. 631 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,441 - What? - That's the spirit! 632 00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,277 Whoo! We're heading for the Sun! 633 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,444 Walking on sunshine, baby! 634 00:24:30,468 --> 00:24:32,572 No, no, no. It's not a... a euphemism. 635 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,408 We are actually heading towards the actual Sun. 636 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,825 Oh, fuck. 637 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,536 What do you mean, the... You mean the Sun? 638 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,288 - Yes, the... - The hot one? The one in the sky? 639 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,455 - That one? - Yes, that one. Yes. 640 00:24:41,479 --> 00:24:42,623 We're heading for the Sun! 641 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,125 Look, can we just... 642 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,377 Can we just park the Sun news momentarily? 643 00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,837 I realize that's a big ask, but... 644 00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:51,257 What else have you been keeping from us, you preppy cocksucker? 645 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,592 You drove us into the Sun! 646 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,552 - That was not me! - How could you miss it? 647 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,470 Spike! 'Cause Spike was at the wheel. 648 00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:59,265 - I'm no snitch, but, uh... - It was my sister's fault! 649 00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,516 Raf, cállate! 650 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,059 Your kids are gonna kill us! 651 00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,896 Get that stunted shit out of the ship! 652 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:07,815 Lock her up! 653 00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:12,111 I always knew I'd be killed by a child. 654 00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:14,906 Look, look, whatever... whatever happens, 655 00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:18,077 I promise you everything will be okay. 656 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,994 Warning. 657 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:24,415 Warning. Warning. Warning. 658 00:25:24,439 --> 00:25:27,627 Oh, shit. We should probably, um... 659 00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:29,003 - Take a cold shower? - No. 660 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,171 - No? - No. Run. 661 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,001 Uh, there's a real language barrier here. 662 00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:35,468 I promise you, I... your safety, 663 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:38,429 the safety of your kids, is my number one priority. 664 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:40,274 Oh, you're our hero. 665 00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:42,350 - Who are you? - I'm Charles. 666 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,476 I'm just her husband. 667 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,516 And I... I hope I'm your top priority as well. 668 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,314 You... you said he jumped ship. 669 00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,524 I mean, not literally. 670 00:25:49,790 --> 00:25:52,401 I... I'm sorry. I should've... I should have told you. 671 00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,820 Wow. You are both so spineless. 672 00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:56,405 The sex must be amazing. 673 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,531 Come on, kids. 674 00:25:57,555 --> 00:26:00,576 So, um, we are gonna have a conversation. Yes? 675 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,745 - Huh? - Yes. 676 00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:07,583 Well, I am glad that you finally know about Charles 677 00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:10,070 because... really, that was killing us. 678 00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,530 What do you mean "us"? What us? 679 00:26:17,263 --> 00:26:18,386 Why didn't you tell me? 680 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,514 Oh, please, pot-calling-kettle-fuck. 681 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,682 You didn't tell the passengers 682 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,016 that we're up here for eight years. 683 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,851 I was doing it! What did you think I was doing? 684 00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:27,186 Yeah, but you didn't quite manage it, 685 00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,896 - did you? We all have secrets. - I was doing it 686 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,898 when you came running in with this whole Sun thing. 687 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:33,488 Hello, Avenue 5! This is mission control. 688 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,275 Comms are back up. Is everything okay? 689 00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:39,193 Yeah. Everything's fine. 690 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,492 Just one small issue. 691 00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:45,225 Okay. Everyone here has your best interests at heart. 692 00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:49,899 Mission control. Families. The list is endless. 693 00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:52,977 All right. That's enough. 694 00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:58,811 Did he say "small issue"? What small issue? 695 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:00,917 Well, I guess it's space-related. 696 00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,556 Okay, you two, can we lose Hansel and Gretel? 697 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,309 Tut, tut, tut. 698 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:10,337 You can stay. 699 00:27:12,550 --> 00:27:14,355 A dangerous situation 700 00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,110 is being taken under control. 701 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:20,031 Warning. Do not panic. Stay calm. 702 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:23,767 A dangerous situation is being taken under control. 703 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,288 Warning. Warning. 704 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,815 Stay calm. A dangerous situation is being... 705 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,040 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 53804

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