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[chuckles]
I�love�men.
I'm�not�just�saying�that�because a�man�sits�at�the�top�of�every
hierarchy.
I'm�saying�that�because I'm�afraid�for�my�life.
ominous�music
Think�of�all�the�contributions that�men�have�brought�to�the
world:
swords,�guns,�and�bombs. [blast]
They're�practically�my favorite�things�after�peace,
love,�and�my�civil�rights.
Women�can�have�it�all:
a�family,�and�another family�against�her�will.
Men�are�making�a�comeback, and�we�all�pay�the�price.
Tonight,�I'll�be talking�to�Michael�Che.
And�Julia�Fox.
-Who�is�your�muse? -Myself.
Yourself?
But�don't�worry,�I won't�be�talking�too�much.
[laughs]
[laughter]
[laughing�nervously]
Ziwe � starts�now.
cool�theme�music
My�next�guest�is an�iconic�mother,
actress,�and�artist.
I�was�Josh�Safdie's�muse when�he�wrote � Uncut�Gems.
[woman]�Right.
[honking]
Howard,�get�out of�the�fucking�car!
Oh,�what�are�you gonna�do,�Howard?
[Ziwe�VO]�To herself,�she's�a�muse.
To�others,�she's�a grocery�store�model.
Her�relationship�with�[bleep] West�shook�us�to�our�core.
A�downtown�It�Girl�redefining women's�fashion�on�the�daily.
Please�welcome�Julia�Fox!
elegant�music
Wow.
-Iconography. -[laughs]
I'm�beyond�excited to�talk�to�you�today.
Me�too.
All�right,�what�do�you think�the�world�needs�more:
your�outfits�or�safe�abortions?
Definitely�safe�abortions.
Um,�abortions�for�everybody.
But�in�the�meantime,�um...
[laughs]
I�will�be�putting�on, um,�a�show�for�everyone.
What�statement�are�you making�with�this�outfit?
-Politically. -Underboob.
-Oh. -Oh,�wow.
Um,�politically...
How�would�you describe�your�perfect�man?
-Funny... -[Ziwe]�Mm.
He�has�to�have�a really�good�sense�of�humor.
-But�he�can't�be�broke. -Wow.
'Cause�that's�not�funny.
Now�describe�how�you would�kill�that�man.
I�would�probably�make it�look�like�an�overdose.
-Wow,�oh�my�gosh,�Julia! -[Julia]�Yeah.
They'll�never�know,�you�know?
ominous�music
I�am�afraid�to�be�in a�room�alone�with�you.
And�are�you pro-women-killing-men?
I�think�that�if the�man�deserves�it,
yeah,�why�not?
Men�kill�women�all the�time�for�no�reason!
Wow.
Wow!
The�way�that�you shrug,�I'm�terrified.
[chuckling]�Yeah.
Should�men�be allowed�to�have�opinions?
No.
No.
They�shouldn't�even�be allowed�to�have�penises.
Really?!�Why�not?
It's�just�unfair.
What's�unfair�about�it?
Okay,�if�I�were�president,�I would�just�give�guns�to�every
-woman... -[Ziwe]�Got�it.
And�not�any guns�to�any�men.
[Ziwe]�Got�it.
Because�I�feel�like�if they�can�have�a�penis,
which�is�a�weapon�of mass�destruction-
-Wow. -[Julia]�It�can�be!
-Wow! -It�can�be.
I�think�that�women�should be�allowed�to�have�the�same.
I�think�it�equals the�playing�field,
I�think�we�wouldn't�get [bleep]ed�with�so�much...
-[Ziwe]�Wow. -Yeah.
triumphant�music
Well,�I�think�when�George Bush�was�looking�for�WMDs�in
Afghanistan,�it�was�for�penis.
-That�tracks. -[laughs]�Yeah.
Who's�the�ugliest man�you've�ever�kissed?
Oh�my�God,�I�can't say�his�name�but...
Say�his�name.
And�he�had�a�small�penis.
-How�small�is�small? -Like�that.
-That's�small? -Hard?
-That's�very�small. -Oh�my�gosh!
And,�um,�[bleep]?
[laughs]
-Bigger�than�that. -Tell�me�when�to�stop.
Small-�okay, smaller�than�that.
Smaller,�smaller, smaller,�smaller.
Little�more.
Little�more,�little�more.
-Like,�yeah,�like�there. -Oh�my�God!
Obviously,�you�famously�were sort�of�associated�with�this
-man. -Yeah,�the�universe�wanted�it.
I�mean,�it�was�a moment�in,�like,
pop�culture�history.
Yeah.
It�hit�the�reset button�on�your�career.
[Julia]�It�did.
So�what�other�utilitarian uses�did�you�get�out�of�this...
person�of�color?
[laughs]
He�got�me�a�lot�of�clothes.
-Wow! -Yeah,�lots�of�clothes.
Wasn't�expecting you�to�answer�that.
[laughs]
You�said�it's�scary�to�own�a $10,000�Birkin�bag�when�you're
not�rich.
If�a�Black�person stole�it�from�you,
would�you�call�the�cops?
Honestly,�probably�not.
-Really? -[Julia]�No.
Where's�your�Birkin?
At�home.
-And�what's�your�address? -[laughs]
No�reason.
I�don't�really�have�emotional attachment�to�the�Birkins.
[Ziwe]�Mm.
But,�like,�if�you came�in�and,�like,
took,�like,�my,�like,�best friend's�ashes�or�something...
Oh�my�God.
It's�gonna�be�a�fight.
Well,�that�would�be�a sick�[bleep]�to�steal�ashes.
Yeah,�but�you�never�know.
Like,�that's,�like, my�prized�possession.
Who�do�you�hang out�with,�Julia?!
I�was�robbed�for,�like,�years�by a�girl�that�I�thought�was,�like,
-my�best�friend. -What�was�she�stealing?
And�she�was selling�my�stuff�on�Etsy.
-[gasps] -Yeah.
She�was�like,�"Oh,�I�just, like,�find�things�in�Brooklyn.
-I�thrift�them." -[Ziwe]�Yeah.
Come�to�find�out�this bitch�was�robbing�me,
and�then�when�I�would look�for�the�stuff,
she�would�help�me�look�for�it!
[chuckling]�Yo...
Do�you�know�what that�does�to�a�person?!
-Like,�no,�it's�on�sight. -I'm�seeing�what�it�does.
But-�but�you�best�believe I�actually�sent�her�a�meme.
I�was�like,�"Yes,�bitch,�I know�you�[bleep]in'�robbed�me."
-Oh�my�God. -"Yeah,�wait�'til�I�see�you."
But�I�haven't seen�her,�so...
Like,�I�realized�that�if-�that people�needed�to�think�that�I
was�crazy,�and�that�was,�like, how�they�weren't�gonna�[bleep]
with�me.
And�then�I�don't�know�when I�actually�became�crazy.
It�was�like�"I'm�gonna�pretend to�be�crazy"�and�then�it�just...
[chuckles]
Yeah.
[chuckles�nervously]
-Filled�with�terror. -[chuckling]�Yeah.
Okay,�well...
Mm.
You�saw � Slave�Play � with�[bleep].
What�was�your�biggest takeaway�from�this�play?
That�he�brought his�annoying�friend.
[ding]
It�was�like�"Why�do�you have�to�bring�your�friend?
Like,�we�were�[chuckling] supposed�to�go�on�this�date."
[Ziwe]�Wait,�really?!
And�so�that's�what�your takeaway�from � Slave�Play...
[Julia]�[laughs]
The�most�nominated play�in�Tony�history?
No,�no.
I�mean,�I-�when�I worked�in�the�dungeon-
[Ziwe]�Yeah.
I�had�clients�-�Black clients�-�that�wanted�that.
-Oh�my�gosh. -[Julia]�Yeah.
This�is�what�he wants�to�get�off,
and-�and�I'm�gonna�do�what the�f-�the�man�tells�me�to�do
because,�in�this�setting,�it's- it's�about�him�and�his�needs,
not�about�my�moral�compass.
I�think�that's�really�gracious of�you�to�not�be�uncomfortable
being�a�master.
So�let's�pretend�this�little camera�is�your�little�slave
piggy.
How�would�you�talk�to- to�it�as�a�dominatrix?
Oh,�you've�been�a bad�little�slut,
-haven't�you? -Oh�my�gosh.
Yeah,�you�wanna�be�punished?
Yeah,�I�bet�you�do wanna�be�punished,
you�dirty�little�bitch.
But�use�a�Southern accent�for,�like,
historical�accuracy.
[laughs]
Um...do�I�have�to?
-No! -[Julia]�Okay.
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe...
- � Uncut�Jems... - � Uncut�Gems...
- � Uncut�Jems... - � Uncut�Gems...
- � Uncut�Jems... - � Uncut�Gems...
[barely�enunciating]
jaunty�music
energetic�music
[man�VO]�From�the�people�who brought�you � Love�is�Blind � and
The�Stanford�Prison�Experiment.
Hey,�y'all,�I'm�Willet,�and�I'm so�happy�to�be�here�[chuckling]
in�the�name�of�Christ�to�find�a gorgeous�Christian�girl�to�make
my�wife.
[man�VO]�One�horny�19-year-old.
Six�Christian�sluts.
There's�only�one�catch:
the�women�must�remain�silent.
[Willet]�Quiet�now.
[chuckling]�Yeah!
Worship�me.
uplifting�gospel�music
I�swear,�these�girls�are�so�shy.
My�ex�was�crazy!
She�always�wanted me�to�talk�to�her.
They're�virgins,�right?
You're�teeny�tiny,�girl�#3.
And�I�want�you�to�be�my teeny-tiny�Christian�wife.
Nod.
[man�VO] � Teeny Tiny�Christian�Wife.
Oh,�God...
[man�VO]�Coming this�spring�to�Netflix.
jaunty�music
Men:
can't�live�with�'em.
jaunty�music
exciting�strings
-Are�you�dating�right�now? -No!
Why�would�I�wanna�waste�my�time?
-Really? -Yeah.
Have�you�ever tried�dating�women?
I,�like,�have�been�thinking about�it�a�lot�recently.
Pivot!
Because�I�do�think, like,�maybe�I�have�some,
you�know,�I-�I�have�a�gay�bone and�I�need�to�explore�that�a
little�bit�more.
Like,�maybe�my�ex-boyfriends weren't�wrong�when�they�were
calling�me�a�lesbian�and complaining�that�I�never�wanted
to�have�sex�with�them.
We're�unpacking...
I�can�find�love in-�in�all�places,
and�all�races!
-Except�f-�oh,�really?! -[Julia]�Yeah!
Tell�me�about�your favorite�races�to�date.
-Not�white,�first�of�all. -Really?!
I�don't�know,�honestly.
They�all,�like,�are equally�horrible,
to�be�honest�-�all�men.
Like,�I�can't...
-It's�just�a�man�thing. -[Ziwe]�Hm.
Um,�how�many�Black friends�do�you�have?
Um...
Like�a�pretty�good amount,�I�would�say.
What's�a�good�amount?
I�mean,�I�can't, like,�count�them�all.
-Why�not? -Like,�that's�weird.
But,�like,�a�good�amount.
I�would�say�that�I have,�like,�a�pretty,�like,
colorful�and-�and mixed�group�of�friends.
Like,�I'm�not�even�actually really�friends�with,�like,
any�white person�who,�like,
is�actually,�like, you�know,�from,�like,
that�area.
-If�they're�white,�they're- -[chuckling]�What�area?
-They're,�like,�Jewish�or- -Got�it,�got�it,�got�it.
[Julia]�You�know�what�I�mean?
Like,�they're�not,�like- like,�I�don't�have�any,�like,
natural�blonde�friends�or,�like, natural�blue-eyed�friends.
You�don't�have�any natural�blonde�friends?!
Would�you�like�to�apologize�to the�blonde�community�for�this?
I'm�sorry,�blonde�community!
Like...
I've�actually�never even�been�to�England.
-[laughs] -I�know.
I'm,�like,�kind�of ashamed�of�that�fact,
but,�like,�any�time�it came�up,�I�was�just�like,
"A�bunch�of�white people�and�bad�weather,
like,�the�food�sucks,�I�heard."
It�just�didn't�ever, like-�I�don't�know,
it's�just�not�my�vibe.
Mm.
[English�accent]�Oh,�I�really fancy�him!�[mocking�laugh]
[regular�voice]�I�don't�know.
[laughs]
Wow.
As�an�Italian-American,�would you�consider�yourself�a�person
of�color?
No,�definitely�not.
-Although... -Although?
There�have�been�white-er�people in�my�life�that�said�things�to
-me. -What�do�they�say�to�you,�Julia?
Like,�"You're not�really�white."
Who's�saying�this�to�you?
I�swear�on�everything�I�love...
that�I�know�a woman�who�is�that...
like,�white...
that�said�that�to�me.
And�I�used�to have�a�lot�of�hair,
like,�before�I got�it�all�lasered,
and,�um,�you�know, she�would�say,�like,
"It's�because�you're�Italian,"
you�know?
So�I�guess�Italians�are like�the�Black�people�of�white
people.
Like,�the�same�way�that there's�degrees�to�Blackness,
there's�degrees to�whiteness,�too.
I�actually�wanna�apologize�to the�Italian�community�for�making
light�of�any�persecution.
-[laughs] -Honestly!
Columbus...
Black�man.
You're�friends�with�Anna�Delvey.
Where�do�you�stand on�prison�reform?
Free�Anna�Delvey,�though.
But�didn't�she�do�the�things?
Do�what?
Where�do�you�stand�on�scammers?
Are�you�pro-scammers�or�against?
-Absolutely. -[Ziwe]�You're�pro-scammers?
Yeah.
Are�you�an equal-opportunity�scammer,
or�do�you�think�some�races deserve�to�be�scammed�more�than
others?
Absolutely,�I�think�white people�deserve�to�be�scammed�the
-most. -Wow!
[Julia]�Yeah.
So�could�you�tell�all�the marginalized�people�you�can�see
to�scam?
Okay,�so�all marginalized�people,�um...
feel�free�to�scam any�white�person.
-Wow. -[Julia]�Yeah.
Except�me.�[laughs]
Speaking�of�privilege,�you got�arrested�for�shoplifting�in
Bloomingdale's,�and�then you�came�full�circle�to�do�a
campaign�for�them.
Welcome�back�to�Beauty Hour�on�Bloomie's�TV.
What�is�white�privilege�like?
I�have�a�story.
So�one�time,�I'm in�bookings,�right?
-And- -One�time�you're�in�bookings?
One�of�the�many times�I�was�in�bookings.
Whoa.
And�they�put�me�in�a�cell with�a�15-year-old�Black�girl.
[Ziwe]�Mm-hm.
And�she's�telling�me her�crime,�and�I'm�like,
"Oh,�don't�worry.
Like,�I�did�this, you'll�be�fine.
They're�gonna�do this,�this,�this."
And�I'm,�like,�16 at�the�time,�okay?
So�that�was�the�thing; it�was�her�first�offense.
I�was�like,�"Oh,�you'll�be�fine.
Like,�oh,�with�your first�one,�they�always�just,
like,�they�say,�you know,�'It-�it's�okay.'
Like..."
And�she�comes back�in�hysterical,
and�they�were�gonna send�her�to�Rikers�Island.
Oh�my�gosh!
And�in�that�[bleep]ing moment,�I�really�learned�a�lot,
because�it�was�really [bleep]ing�eye-opening.
Yeah.
Sad.
Like,�really,�really�sad.
I�know�this�is�supposed to�be,�like,�a�fun�show.
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe...
What�other�Malcolm�X speeches�speak�to�you?
I've�obviously watched�the�speeches-
Oh,�yeah?
But�I�just�can't,�like, pinpoint�when�and�where.
You've�obviously watched�the�speeches?
And,�to�be�clear,�you�could not�name�a�single�other�quote?
No...
Would�you�like�to�apologize to�the�Malcolm�X�community?
I'm�so�sorry, Malcolm�X�community.
jaunty�music
exciting�strings
I�cannot�tell�if�you hate�men�or�love�men.
I,�like,�do�love�men.
What�do�you�love�about�men?
I-�and�that's�the�thing:�like, I�don't�wanna�seem�like�I'm�just
a�man-hater,�'cause�I'm�not.
I�hate�the�Patriarchy�and�I think�that�men�are�equal�victims
to�it�just�as�much�as�women.
But,�like,�when�you�see�everyone getting�[bleep]ed�over�and�then
you�see�all�the�men�that- they're�not�really�that�angry.
And�it's�like,�well, why�aren't�you�upset?
And�now�that�you're�not�upset, it�makes�me�feel�like�you're�not
-really�on�my�team! -[Ziwe]�Mm.
And�then,�it's�really�like you�only�want�me�if�I'm�on�your
team.
That's�how�men�are programmed�to�think.
They�don't�give�a�[bleep].
Like...
They�don't�give�a�[bleep].
Where�do�you�see�women's�rights 20�years�from�now�in�America?
Honestly,�the�way things�are�going,
obviously�not�very�good.
-Mm. -[Julia]�Um...
But�that's�why�we�have�to�stick together�and-�and�reclaim�our
power�and�stop letting�men�use�us,
control�us,�coerce�us.
Um,�even�if�they're friendly�or�nice,
it�doesn't�[bleep]ing�matter; they�have�a�hidden�agenda�and
you�need�to�be�working�on yourself,�getting�your�money.
Suck�a�dick�if�you�have�to, do�whatever�to�be�independent.
Do�it.
But�don't�ever�catch�feelings.
That'll�derail�the�whole�thing, and�then�you'll�have�to�start
from�scratch,�so...
it's�better�to just�not�even�date.
Wow.
jaunty�music
My�favorite�show?
Babe,�what's�my�favorite�show?
Vin�Diesel.
jaunty�music
[background�chatter]
"Men"�by�Ziwe
jaunty�music
Men's�rights?
Hell�yeah,�they�are.
jaunty�music
I�didn't�know periods�weren't�fun.
[Ziwe�VO]�A�standup�comedian and�co-host�of�SNL's�Weekend
Update�known�for�his�outspoken approach�to�hot-button�issues...
That's�just�not�right.
I�mean,�female�doctors?!
[laughter]
[Ziwe�VO]�From�beloved Olympians�to�critics,
no�one�is�off-limits according�to�comedian,
writer,�and creator�Mr.�Michael�Che.
Please�welcome�-�you guessed�it�-�Michael�Che!
elegant�music
-Hi. - � Bienvenidos.
Now,�as�a�straight�man,
which�do�you�give less�of�a�[bleep]�about,
women's�rights�or�gay�rights?
Mm,�less?
Less.
Equal.
You�equally�do�not�care?
That's�a�[bleep]ed�up�question.
That's�a�[bleep]ed�up�answer.
-You... -[Michael]�Uh-huh?
Made�light�of street�harassment,
saying�if�you�said�"Hi" to�a�woman�on�the�street,
you�apologize.
What�other�issues�do�you�think women�are�probably�exaggerating?
That's�what�I�do;�I'm�a...
I'm�a...
lightener.
Would�you�like�to lighten�Roe�v�Wade?
I�mean,�I�could.
Please!
[laughs]�What?
No,�I�want�you�to�do�it!
It's�my�choice�to terminate�this�segment.
[crew�laughter]
[chuckling]�You�can't�force me�to�carry�that�joke�to�term.
-[crew�laughter] -[Michael]�[laughs]
I�see�a�lot�of "pick�mes"�laughing!
"Pick�mes?!"
Do�you�have�any�marginalized communities�you'd�like�to
apologize�to?
-"Marginalized?" -Yeah!
Wh-�wh-�what�does�that�mean?
What's�your�interpretation of�"marginalized?"
-Like,�uh... -[ding]
"[bleep]ed�up?"
"[bleep]ed�up�communities?"
[chuckling] What�is�"marginalized?"
"Marginalized"�means,�like, uh,�like�people�who�are�at�the
margin�of�the�power�structures.
It�could�be,�like,�comedians�who are�written�about�in�the�press,
but�it�depends.
Shout�out�to�all you�niggas�that's...
gettin'�hard-hit�in�the�press.
Do�you�usually patronize�women�like�this,
or�am�I�special?
I�don't�know�shit about�patronizing�nobody.
I�don't�even�know�what...
What�do�you�mean�"patronizing?"
Are�you�the�head�writer of � Saturday�Night�Live � ?!
Yeah,�I�don't...read!
Is�that�a�man�thing�or...?
What�was�the�question? You�said...
Did�you�get�hit�by a�car�before�this?
[chuckles]�I�don't�know, I'm�nervous.
I�feel�like�I'm being�interrogated.
It's�an�interview.
They�don't�go�well.
Interviews,�or interviews�with�you?
Both.
On�the�scale�of�my�interviews, would�you�like�to�be�more�like
Chet�Hanks,�Andrew Yang,�or�Fran�Lebowitz?
I'm�goin'�Fran.
What�do�you�like�about�her?
I�like�the�movies,�the- what's-�what's�the�big�hit-
the�hit�movie�she's�in?
You�like�her,�you�tell�me!
It's�the�romantic�comedy�thing.
And�you're�a�fan�of�this�woman?
She's�in�a-�no,�she's in,�like,�an�action�movie?
Who's�Fran�Lebowitz?
-Who's�Fran�Lebowitz? -Yeah.
She�is�a�tiny�woman�who�is famous�for�her�commentary
on�New�York�City.
Where�would�I�have�seen�her?
Fran�Lebowitz�and Martin�Scorsese!
-[applause] -Yes,�yes,�yes!
[dramatic�thud]
How�am�I�supposed�to�know who�that�is?!�[chuckles]
-Like,�I�don't�know... -Okay.
It's�this�part;�it's�the�quiet part�that-�that�worries�me.
When�I'm�talking,�I�feel�fine.
When�you're talking,�I�feel�fine.
But�it's�after�I�say�something, and�then�it�gets�really,�really
-still... -Yeah.
That's�what�worries�me.
Is�that�because�you're not�used�to�listening?
This�is�why�I don't�go�to�therapy,
because�I�could�just talk�to�a-�anybody,
and�they'll�tell�me�what's wrong�with�me.�[chuckles]
Like,�you�figured that�out�just...
asking�me�four�questions about�Chet�Hanks�and...
Franny...Lab-�Lebo-�Lebstone.
[laughs]�I�don't remember�her�name.
You�know�who�I'm�talking�about.
Yeah,�I�know�who you're�talking�about.
Black�women�-�how�often are�they�your�therapists?
Fran�Lebowitz�is�Black?!
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on� �� �Ziwe...
I�think�they're�both�important.
And�why�were�you cupping�it�like�that?
jaunty�music
exciting�strings
Name�five�NBA�players.
[sighs]�Uh...
LeBron...
Steph�Curry...
um...
uh,�Giannis�Antetokounmpo...
uh...
Klay�Thom- Klay�Thompson...
and...um...
Jayson�Tatum.
Boom,�five.
Now�name�five�WNBA�players.
Oh,�I�don't�watch�the�WNBA. [chuckles]
I�would�love�to watch�it,�but�WNBA,
if�you're�watching�this, if�you're�watching�me,
first�of�all,�thank�you.
Second,�if�you�got�tickets, I�would�love�to�go�to�a�game,
so�I�can�learn�more�about your�sport�and�culture.
The�sport�is�basketball.
[laughing]�Well,�I�mean, it's...it's�a�different...
Yeah,�I�know�about basketball,�but�I�don't...
Oh,�I�don't�like�this. [chuckles]
When�women dribble,�it's�different?
It's-�it's-�it's- yeah,�it's�different,
of�course�it's�different!
I�think�women�and�men are�different,�right?
Can�you�describe their�differences?
Well,�their�ball is�smaller,�right?
exciting�music
And�there's�no dunks;�I�know�that�much.
[male�announcer] Brittney�Griner!
[bleep]in'�breaking�news: Nobody�watches�the�WNBA!
upbeat�pop�music
[Ziwe�VO]�After talking�to�Michael�Che,
I�decided�to�support�the WNBA�during�their�playoffs�with
court-side�seats.
WNBA�flex!
I�had�never�been to�a�game�before,
and�I�wanted�to�break the�cycle�of�misogyny.
You�know,�women supporting�women!
You�can�imagine�my�excitement when � Ziwe � started�playing
on�the�jumbotron,
and�they�cut�to�a�Black person�that�is�not�me.
However,�because�everyone�was frantically�pointing�at�me,
they�were�finally able�to�find�me!
I�love�the�WNBA, and�I�love�feminism.
Also,�free�Brittney�Griner.
Would�you�like�to�apologize�to any�marginalized�communities
yet?
If�anybody's marginalized,�it's�me!
How�many�Black�female friends�do�you�have?
Can�you�name�them?
I�can't�name�all�my Black�women�friends;
I�feel�like�that's marginalizing�them.
To�me,�they're�just�human friends�that�happen�to�have
brown�skin�and�big�butts.
Wanna�get-�Big�booties?!
[chuckling]�Yeah.
I�said�"butts"�but you�said�"booties,"
which�is...marginalizing.
[crew�laughter]
You�see�an�attractive group�of�women�in�a�bar.
Do�you�refer�to�them�as "chicks,"�"babes,"
or�"sexy�mamas?"
"Sexy�mamas"�is�pretty�sweet.
I�don't�think�you�could�call somebody�a�"sexy�mama"�and�they
not�smile.
Could�you�talk�to�the�camera and�call�our�audience�members
"sexy�mamas?"
Hey,�you�sexy�mamas is�watching � Ziwe � !
-[Ziwe]�Oy... -[Michael]�[laughs]
Next�week,�we�got�Fran Lebowitz's�Black�ass�on�here.
[laughter]
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe...
You�know,�if�we�dated,�uh...
they'd�call�us�"ZiChe."
[crew�laughter]
jaunty�music
God,�you're�amazing!
[man�VO]�One�eligible bachelor�must�choose�from...
one�million�women.
It's�so�rare�to meet�a�girl�who's,�like,
actually�funny.
[man�VO]�And�make�the�most important�decision�of�his�life.
My�name's�Chudd, I'm�20�years�old,
and�I�am�ready�to�be�a�husband.
[man�VO]�From�the�creators of � Too�Hot�to�Handle
and � Law�and�Order:�SVU.
[Chudd]�In�the�10 minutes�we�spoke,
I�felt�a�real�soul connection�with�Ashley.
[man�VO]�This�show�answers the�question�that�has�gone
unanswered...
for�centuries.
I�just�don't wanna�hurt�anybody.
[voice�cracking]�It's,�like, so�much�pressure�on�me�as,�like,
a�guy,�and�it's�like...
[sniffles]�I'm,�like...
these�women�are, like,�my�daughters!
And�yet,�they're�my�mom!
And�yet,�I�just...wanna...
make�the�right�choice!
I�finally�know�who I�want�to�marry.
I�choose...
ass.
[man�VO] � Tits�or Ass? � -�a�dating�show.
Coming�to�Netflix�this�Fall.
jaunty�music
Should�women�be allowed�to�watch�my�show?
I�think�it's�a states'�rights�issue.
jaunty�music
exciting�strings
Are�you�in�therapy:�yes�or�no?
No.
No?!
I�went�to�therapy one�time�when�I�was�16.
Yeah.
She�had,�like,�this preconceived�idea�that�I�needed
it�or�something.
You�know�what�I�mean?
Like,�she�was,�like-�she was�talking�to�me�like...
trying�to-�trying�to find�out-�you�know,
I�don't�need�this shit,�you�know?
I�believe�that�you�don't think�you�need�therapy,�yes.
I�don't.
Can�I�show�you�a�couple�images and�you�tell�me�what�you�see?
upbeat�jaunty�music
That's�a�big�ol' hairy�dick�right�there.
[chuckling]�Whoa.
That's�a�big�ol'�hairy�twat.
-Wow! -[Michael]�What?!
Or-�or�it's�a�little�boy�in�a snowsuit�with�a�raccoon�tail!
Or�a�girl!
It's�titties�on�the... outside,�for�some�reason.
You�see�tits�here?!
You�don't�see�tits�there?!
We�Googled�"uterus."
Oh,�uterus!
That's...a�Teletubby with�two�dicks.
This�reflects�what�is in�your�internal�mind...
[echoing]�internal mind,�internal�mind...
[reverberating]�That's�a lady�with�really�big�labia...
Petrified�sack...
Hooves?!
Warts�on�the-�on�the�bottom...
Skinned�raccoon...
Dangling...
That's�a�mutilated�woman!
Somebody�who�blew her�brains�out...
-[record�scratch] -How�many�did�I�get�right?
-[dramatic�thud] -[buzzer]
Was�this�a�personality�quiz?
It�was�a�psychopath test�from�Google.com,
and�honey...
What�do�you�want�the�audience�to take�away�from�this�interview?
That�men�are�just�people.
That's�the�takeaway?!
[laughing]�Yes!
What�is�this�show�about?!
I�don't�know,�you�didn't�tell me�what�this�episode�is!
Yes,�it's�in�service�of�men!
That's�why�we�do�this�show.
And�that's�the�interview.
[Ziwe�clapping�softly]
Nobody�[bleep]in'�clapping!
You�wanna�do�your�muscles?
Show�them�your�muscles.
"Men"�by�Ziwe
[laughing]�Nobody's gonna�clap�for�my�muscles?!
-[crew�laughter] -Fuck�y'all,�man.
jaunty�music
[man�VO]�From�the�people�who brought�you � Tits�or�Ass? � and
Teeny�Tiny�Christian�Wife...
three�hot Republican�bachelors...
choose...one...sexy...uterus.
And�then�marry�it.
[men�in�unison] Disembodied�uterus,
will�you�marry�me?
[man�VO]�That's�it.
That's�the�premise�of�the�show.
I'm�gonna�pop�the�question.
This�is�it:�the�rest�of�my�life.
Man�and�uterus.
upbeat�pop�music
Ew,�it's�bleeding!
Mine's�broken!
-Ew,�no! -Gross!
[man�VO]�Coming�to Netflix�this�spring.
jaunty�music
upbeat�electronic�music
So�Julia,�you've been�a�muse�to�many�men.
So�I�wanted�to�try�to�see what�we�could�do�to�DIY�these
-outfits- -Okay.
And�make�it�so�that,�you�know, heads�would�turn�when�we're�out
-on�the�streets. -Okay,�I�love�it.
-We�have�all�your�materials. -Okay.
We're�going�to�make�these�into some�of�the�sexiest�looks�for
the�male�gaze�ever created�in�history.
Distressed.
Distressed.
-[Ziwe] � Uncut�Jems. -[Julia] � Uncut�Gems.
-[Ziwe] � Uncut�Jems. -[Julia] � Uncut�Gems.
[Ziwe] � Uncut�Jems.
[Julia]�The basics�are�straight.
[Ziwe]�Wow!
Wait,�my�pasties�fell�off!
[Julia]�'Cause�women�just bring�more�to�the�table.
Like,�just�cuter vibes�all�around.
[Ziwe]�Whereas�men bring�what�to�the�table?
[Julia]�Men�are�takers.
There's�no�rules.
You�can�do�whatever�the [bleep]�you�wanna�do!
So�Julia,�we're�going�to�wear each�other's�respective�outfits.
[Julia]�God�bless everyone�in�fashion.
[Ziwe]�[reverberating] Male�gaze.
Male�gaze.
Male�gaze.
Male�gaze.
-You�look�gorgiana. -Thank�you.
I�know�you�doubted�me,�but�I think�that�that's�an�iconic
look.
[laughing]�A�Ziwe�original.
How�do�you�feel�about these�men�gawking�at�us?
It's�Michael�Che!
It�is�Michael�Che.
I,�uh,�matched with�him�on�Raya�once.
-You�did?! -I�did.
-Wait,�shut�up! -[Julia]�I�did.
And�what�happened?!
Nothing;�he's,�like,�a- doesn't�talk�that�much.
Hairy�dick.
Two�dicks.
Yeah,�that's�a�dick.
He�didn't�respond to�your�message?
He,�like,�did for�like�a�second,
and�then�that�was it�and�then�I�never,�like,
said�anything�else and�that�was�it.
Yeah,�so�I�would say�that�he,�like,
probably�left�me�unread.
-Wow. -[Julia]�Yeah.
-So�[bleep]�you,�Micheal�Che. -Ugh!
What�are�you�doing�here?!
-[laughs] -Hello!
Get�down!
Get�on�the�floor!
I�think�the�outfits�look�nice.
Shut�up,�we're�not doing�this�for�you,
we're�doing�this�for�ourselves!
-For�confidence,�empowerment... -Sexy.
Men�suck.
A-woman.
Can�you�give�a speech�to�the�camera?
About�what?
I�don't�know, female�empowerment!
Okay,�yeah.
So,�this�is�what�you�have to�do�to�feel�empowered:
anyone�who�does�anything slightly�offensive�to�you�-
if�you�even�get�your feelings�slightly�hurt�-
it's�okay�to�result to�physical�violence,
even�if�it's�just�a cardboard�cutout.
[both�giggling]
elegant�music
chimes
Why�am�I�single?
Because�I�haven't�found�the perfect�guy�who�can�carry�me�on
his�shoulders,�of�course.
jaunty�music
Free�Brittney�Griner.
Free�Brittney�Griner!
You�once�said�that�the�gays appreciate�your�fashion�and�that
-the�basics�do�not. -Yes.
So,�to�be�clear, who�are�"the�gays?"
I�guess�I�would�say�just anyone�on�the�queer�spectrum,
really.
How�do�you�know�that they�like�it�so�much?
I�see�videos�and,�um...
-What�are�the�videos? -You�know,�I�know�my�fanbase.
-Got�it. -[Julia]�Yeah,�and�I�love�them.
And�the�videos, what�are�they�saying?
What�are�they�doing?
They�are,�um,�impersonating�me.
Oh.
- � Uncut�Jems. - � Uncut�Gems.
- � Uncut�Jems. - � Uncut�Gems.
[barely�enunciating] Uncut�Jems.
Uncut�Gems.
[borderline�indistinct] Uncut�Jems.
Yeah,�I�just�feel the�love,�you�know?
And�then�immediately,�whenever I�see,�like,�a�negative�thing,
and�I�go�look�and�I'm�like, "Oh,�it's�a�basic."
Would�you�say�the�gays�are not�basic�and�the�basics�are
straight?
-Yeah. -Wow.
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