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1
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,275
And if you'd just like to pop
your signature there, pet.
2
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,952
I have to say I think you're both mad.
3
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,790
Imagine... Endless nights in with nothing to say.
4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,788
Awkward fumblings between
the sheets as your passion fades.
5
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,073
The grinding tedium of enforced companionship.
6
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,555
And yours just there, thank you.
7
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,397
- (CHARLIE BELCHES)
- Pig.
8
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,077
Excuse me, can you give me a hand, please?
9
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,597
- OK?
- Just a little bit further.
10
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,996
All right.
11
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,431
(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)
12
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,916
They make a lovely couple, don't they, Geoff?
13
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,875
What? Oh, yeah. Why don't you try
to catch the bouquet, Barbara?
14
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,390
I might not have to. Have a read of that.
15
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,989
"Stunning, busty brunette"...
Is this you, Barbara?
16
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,432
"Seeks open-minded male for cuddles
and car maintenance."
17
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,155
- Got any replies?
- No, it only came out today.
18
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,430
Why? Are you interested?
19
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,074
I've got to get off, I'm the best man.
20
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,191
BARBARA: You should let me be
the judge of that, Geoff.
21
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,833
You ready, Ken?
22
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,759
- We're all here behind you.
- Oh?
23
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,835
- Where did you find him?
- I'll tell you what, he's very cheap.
24
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,918
- Say cheese everybody!
- Cheese!
25
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,519
Coming with us?
26
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,030
I'll see you later, Cheryl.
See you at the reception.
27
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,437
Let him go.
28
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,837
Ha, ha, ha...!
29
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:54,156
We're having the do olde-worlde, so if you
have any "hey nonny nonny" stuff...
30
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,477
- I'll have a think.
- Yeah, well, do.
31
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,113
- You're the band for tonight?
- Yeah.
32
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,709
Should be a good do.
33
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,510
- Is that a Strat?
- Yeah, mate.
34
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,473
Thought so. I used to play on one of them.
35
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,718
Do you do requests? Do you know Voodoo Lady?
36
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,150
You mean Foxy Lady? Jimi Hendrix.
37
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,397
No, Voodoo Lady, Cr�me Brulee.
38
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,115
Eurovision heats finalist 1981.
39
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,311
No? Not heard of us?
40
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,272
We had quite a bit of radio play back then.
41
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:48,396
Peter Levy at Air FM, it was record
of the week April 16th through 23rd.
42
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,353
I bought my Strat off Mitch Murray,
he wrote songs for Paper Lace.
43
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,189
He says to me: "Les, I want 300
sheets, but you can have it for 250."
44
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,039
'Cause he knew me, like.
Right good sense of humour.
45
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,958
- Done any telly?
- No.
46
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,152
Just weddings, birthdays, bar mitzvahs.
47
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,557
Outfit I were with, Cr�me Brulee,
did quite a bit of telly.
48
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,275
Did Magpie. Kate Bush were on.
49
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,391
Week before us.
50
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:20,116
Do you know what ruined everything?
Punk rock. What was that about?
51
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,312
Craftsmanship, ballads -
all went out the window.
52
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:27,149
- Do you write your own stuff?
- It's a covers band.
53
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,794
When I was on tour
with Peter Skellern, he said to me:
54
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,675
"Les, you'd been around five year
back, you'd have been away."
55
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,474
Timing was wrong is all.
56
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,148
There's a lot of luck in this business.
57
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,955
I did the right thing getting out when
I did. Do you want to hear me stuff?
58
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,549
Listen, man. I've got to get on.
59
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,751
- Can I have a word, boss?
- Yeah.
60
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,871
- What is it, Maynard?
- Ray's not turned up.
61
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:54,392
Again? We'll have to do without
rhythm guitar tonight.
62
00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:00,270
- Hey! It's fate is that.
- What is?
63
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,199
- I play rhythm guitar.
- I don't think so.
64
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,834
You can't do Sympathy
for the Devil without rhythm guitar.
65
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,519
We can do it on the keyboard.
66
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,792
It's not the same. Give us a go on
your Strat, I'll teach you Voodoo Lady.
67
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,473
It's not going to happen, all right?
68
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,798
Yeah. You're right.
69
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,558
Probably wouldn't enjoy it, would I?
70
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,116
Out on the road, getting drunk.
71
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,993
Young man's game.
72
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,317
Nice to have a chat to someone
who knows their stuff, though.
73
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,432
It's a shit business.
74
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,313
I'm glad I'm out of it.
75
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,398
All the best, son.
76
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,558
Very kind of you.
77
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,229
- Hurry up, we're going to be late.
- We've got to get food yet.
78
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,117
What are you trying to do, bum me?
79
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:15,754
- Where do you want to sit?
- Go behind this slaphead.
80
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:22,588
(THEY GIGGLE)
81
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,473
- ALl: How much do I owe you?
- How much were the tickets?
82
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,672
- How much was popcorn?
- I can't see my change.
83
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,757
Shhh!
84
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,438
- ALl: Has it started?
- This can't be it, it's French.
85
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,392
Could you be quiet, please?
86
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,071
HENRY: Oh, sorry. It's only bloody adverts.
87
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,794
No, it started. This is the film.
88
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,318
- This is the film?
- Yes.
89
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,876
Is this Candy Man II, Farewell to the Flesh?
90
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,036
No.
91
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,036
We're in wrong bloody film.
We're in wrong bloody film!
92
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,391
- Bloody hell! What's this, then?
- It's Blue.
93
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,158
- Blue?!
- A bluey?
94
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:07,069
Bloody hell, that were a bit of luck. A bluey!
95
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,795
It's the title of the film. Krzysztof
Kieslowski's Trois Couleurs Bleu.
96
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,560
- Dracula's what?
- How many killings?
97
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,273
Trois Couleurs Bleu.
98
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,550
Tra cula pooh.
99
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,354
- What's he say?
- I don't know. Come on, it's weary.
100
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:25,429
No, give it a chance.
It might be really, really good.
101
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,716
How many killings have we missed so far?
102
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,430
Is everybody having a good time? Yeah...
103
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:38,952
Well, this will get you up on your feet.
It's Dance Yourself Dizzy.
104
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,031
Ohhh!
105
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,028
I'm sorry, luv, I didn't see
you sat there. Don't get up.
106
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,470
Oh, it's Peter, isn't it?
107
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,796
No, no, no. Paul.
108
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,468
Oh, I'm going daft in me old age. Christopher?
109
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,319
- Simon.
- Simon, that's it.
110
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,399
Course, you're our Linda's...
No, no, no. Our Valerie's...
111
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,637
- Joan.
- That's right. Our Joan's youngest...
112
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,910
- Eldest.
- Eldest daughter.
113
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,838
- Son.
- Son!
114
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,794
Our Joan's eldest son, Simon.
115
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,231
Oh, of course! You're the crip...
116
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,917
Eh, the... you know.
117
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,475
- How have you been keeping?
- You know me, Simon.
118
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,830
All right down one side.
119
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,476
No, what I mean to say is...
120
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,672
l-i-i-it's been a long time, you know.
121
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,634
The last time I saw you, you were only so high.
122
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,400
I must... Do you know where the Gent's is?
123
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,115
No, no, you wouldn't, would you? But you might.
124
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,915
I expect even you lot have got to... you know.
125
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,396
Unless you've got one of them little
Queen Mum... No, you wouldn't.
126
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,392
It's down there on the left.
127
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:56,229
On the left? Right. On the left.
128
00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,399
Oh, there she goes. Look! The blushing bride.
129
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,591
Are you courting like, Simon?
130
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,872
No, no, you wouldn't, would you? But you might.
131
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,877
Not that you shouldn't.
132
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,517
In the modern world I expect
there are ways for you to...
133
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,280
I saw this documentary once, and it said
134
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:19,359
there's no reason, no reason in the world why...
135
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,028
And there's bound to be somebody out there.
136
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,310
Plenty, fish, sea and all that.
137
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,910
You'll find one
that doesn't mind doing it with a...
138
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,314
That doesn't mind doing without it, even.
139
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,671
And if your babies turned out to be all...
140
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:39,635
Well, they can tell these days,
they have computers.
141
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:44,630
Christ, Simon! You wouldn't have to keep it.
142
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,191
Excuse me, I think my wife's calling me.
143
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,833
Oh, aye.
144
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,829
Was it something I said?
145
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,197
Hello, Babs' Cabs.
146
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,197
Yes, I was wondering if you're available tonight.
147
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,552
Right! Right, right...
148
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,718
Just a sec', just a sec'.
149
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,717
Who's speaking, please?
150
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,071
My name is Benjamin Denton.
I'm staying at the Swanmills estate,
151
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,840
but I'd like you to pick me up somewhere else.
152
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,114
I understand.
153
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,993
I want to go quite far.
154
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,832
Ben, I understand. Where can we meet?
155
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,759
Outside the butcher's shop, six o'clock?
156
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,394
Six o'clock.
157
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,272
It's a date.
158
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,199
I'll see you later then. Bye.
159
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,920
Bugger me, it worked.
160
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,315
Nearly there.
161
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,071
This was known as the Zechstein sea,
162
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,910
covering most of what is now
the north of England.
163
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,476
Right, we're all gathered. Just come this way.
164
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,990
The entrance of this cave is quite low down,
165
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,350
so mind you don't bump your heads.
166
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,831
Not many know that Stump Hole
Cavern takes its name
167
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:31,591
from the crippled prostitute who plied
her trade here in the 17th century.
168
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,150
If you look carefully up there
169
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:40,992
you can see her tariff etched into
the limestone in soot.
170
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,153
If you'lljust stay close behind me,
mind the shale on this floor.
171
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,191
Quite slippy.
172
00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:00,595
We are part of a much wider network
of caves that riddle the entire county,
173
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:05,954
including the much larger Redscar
Cavern located half a mile west.
174
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:12,197
Trifle flashy for my taste I have to say,
with their gift shop, cafeteria
175
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,996
and 100 percent safety record
all over the promotion literature.
176
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,872
But there you go.
177
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,789
If we stay in single file we'll make
our way into the main cavern.
178
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,754
It's worth pointing out that Redscar
was served with a council notice
179
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,748
ordering them to replace 115 yards
of faulty wiring.
180
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,919
Put it this way: I wouldn't like to get
caught down there in a thunderstorm,
181
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,591
and no amount of trilobites in
Perspex or stegosaurus pencil tops
182
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,791
is going to change that.
183
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:55,476
This cavern might be familiar from its
appearances on the small screen.
184
00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:00,595
In 1974 you couldn't move down here
for cyber men.
185
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:06,716
In an amusing incident Tom Baker
sprained his ankle on that rock there.
186
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,075
This goes to show
how easy the accidents happen.
187
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,428
We've had all the celebrities down here,
188
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,552
including the late Don Henderson
of Bullman fame.
189
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,514
The Chuckle Brothers - you may have
seen the autograph in the ticket booth.
190
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:29,433
And Michael Buerk and the 999 team.
191
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,834
At this stage I like to raise
the subject of darkness.
192
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,237
There's nothing like the darkness
down in the caves,
193
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:43,560
and to illustrate this we turn out
all the lights for a few moments.
194
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:54,713
I myself am not fond of the darkness.
I sleep with the lights on now.
195
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,118
It's in the darkness I see the boy's face.
196
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,598
Eyes protruding, tongue out, black.
197
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:15,594
Here are the limestone formations
for which Stump Hole is famous.
198
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,756
Used to be famous...
199
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:23,353
The lads have given them names,
depending on what they look like.
200
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,630
Here we have Santa Claus.
201
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,150
His beard and sack.
202
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,672
The Wombles. The sediment
forms the brim of Orinoco's hat.
203
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,036
The specimen jar, the toffee apple
204
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,276
and Errol Flynn.
205
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,680
This one over here... People say
it doesn't look like anything at all,
206
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:55,271
but I don't know. I see a little pair of hands
207
00:15:55,480 --> 00:16:01,794
clutching at a slippery, wet rope,
sliding down into the dark water.
208
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,993
Sometimes I'll stand here for hours...
209
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,270
...just looking at it.
210
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,799
That concludes the main part
of the tour, if you'll follow me.
211
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,236
Michael Buerk did say to me:
212
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,876
"Mick, you can't go on blaming
yourself, it wasn't your fault."
213
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,995
But I don't know. Young kiddie
like that, whole life ahead of him.
214
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,998
"School trip tragedy, local man blamed."
215
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,749
Every day the same. Parade of blank faces.
216
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,918
The constant drip, drip from the cavern roof.
217
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,669
The cold indifference of the ancient rock.
218
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,632
But you keep going, don't you?
219
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:49,197
It's like the moss growing around
that little light-bulb there.
220
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,958
Life finds a way.
221
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,872
Look at that skein of iron oxide.
222
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,868
You wouldn't find anything like that in Redscar.
223
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,239
Remember the guide on your way out.
224
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,351
Thank you.
225
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,948
- Come on, Ali. It's boring this.
- Give it a chance.
226
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,991
It might be really, really good.
227
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:30,194
Name one foreign film that's ever
been really good ever.
228
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,392
La Bamba!
229
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,194
(STARTS SINGING LA BAMBA)
230
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,516
Sos.
231
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,554
- What's happening, then?
- You read it, don't yer?
232
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,355
You don't come to pictures to read,
you don't watch films in libraries.
233
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:54,111
You can. They've got videos. Weary ones.
234
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,117
Who's she?
235
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,276
- Who?
- Her. I recognise her.
236
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,233
- Did she go to our school?
- No, she were in a film.
237
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,238
She was in that Trois Couleurs Bleu. It was
on Barry Norman.
238
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,749
- This is it.
- Trois Couleurs Bleu?
239
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:27,397
This is meant to be good this.
Apparently there's this one bit...
240
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,068
Will you be quiet! I can't hear a bloody word.
241
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,795
- You don't have to, you read it.
- It's not a bluey.
242
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,310
- You're in wrong bloody film.
- If you don't like it, leave.
243
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,114
- If you don't like it, leave!
- Shhh!
244
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,273
Neither do I. It's a bit far-fetched.
245
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,478
- Hi.
- Barbara, thank God you're here.
246
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,753
BENJAMIN: I've been desperate
to do this ever since I arrived.
247
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,111
BENJAMIN: It's been really hard
since I last saw you.
248
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:12,110
Has it really? We'll have to do
something about that, won't we?
249
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:24,030
That comes with best wishes from
the lads at Rotherham Plastics.
250
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:28,074
Next I'm sure we'd all like to show our
appreciation to our master butcher.
251
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,475
Mr Hilary Briss.
252
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,709
I don't know what he puts in his
sausages, but I've never tasted finer.
253
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,871
Hilary, you didn't?
254
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:48,599
As Mike's best man I've got to say
something about his achievements.
255
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,995
So I won't be long.
256
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,758
MIKE: Watch it, pal!
257
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,636
His lovely bride, Cheryl,
has asked me to keep it quick.
258
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:01,469
- Which is what she's used to.
- That's right, Cheryl.
259
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,352
Sauce, eh? Sauce.
260
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:09,994
All right. Mike is my best friend in the world.
261
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,998
I've known him since school, in fact,
and on and off ever since.
262
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,078
We used to sit together in maths,
we were a right double act.
263
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,271
The terrible twosome.
264
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,119
They tried to split us up, but we
always sneaked back together.
265
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,515
To stop us laughing and joking
266
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:28,555
they had to move me into
a lower stream with all the remedials.
267
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,994
In art the teacher preferred
his drawing of a trainer to mine.
268
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,715
"Such detail", she said.
It was my pencil he drew it with.
269
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,753
Ha, ha, ha!
270
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,830
Those were the days, eh, Mike?
271
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,315
Happiest days of our lives.
272
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,113
We left St Mark's at the same time,
started in the same company.
273
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,596
- Same office for a while.
- Tell him about the...
274
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,155
Mike was quickly head-hunted.
275
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,511
And I've watched him
276
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,235
from that same little office,
rise and rise through the ranks
277
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,877
to the position he holds today: My boss!
278
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,789
Who would have thought that stuck-up
little boy would be ticking me off
279
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,594
for not sending them faxes that night!
280
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,794
I can't believe it.
281
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,037
You work your fingers to the bone, and...
282
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,108
Anyway, I'm getting off the point.
283
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:34,189
It's about this time that Mike
is screwing my wife to be, Katy.
284
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,794
No, Cheryl, you're not part of the story yet.
285
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:45,319
Who wants to see the things finally
going in my favour for a change?
286
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,512
Because in '87 both our mums
got really ill at the same time.
287
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,759
Mine, thank God, got better,
but yours died, didn't she, Mike?
288
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,555
Didn't she?
289
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,590
Yeah! Your mum died, and mine didn't.
290
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,552
I won that.
291
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,070
At least I won the mums!
292
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,310
It's a sorry affair this.
Reminds me of my wedding day.
293
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,990
And if she were here now
my Katy would agree with me.
294
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,670
But she's not here now.
295
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,916
Because she left me.
296
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,069
Didn't she, Brian?
297
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,679
You know I've got this gun!
298
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,638
Sometimes it would be so easy just to finish it.
299
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,235
Right, Brian?
300
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,711
Come on now, Geoff.
301
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,910
Fair dos, eh?
302
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,554
Sit down now.
303
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,910
I hate you, Mike!
304
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:24,270
I hate your success and your suits
and your beautiful wife.
305
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,271
Katy.
306
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,879
Is she happy, Brian?
307
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,399
Yeah.
308
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,953
But it's Mike and Cheryl's day.
309
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,993
Charge your glasses, please. Join me in a toast.
310
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,395
To the happy couple!
311
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,592
(MURMURS) Happy couple...
312
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,276
BENJAMIN: What are you doing?
313
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,120
BARBARA: I've never done this before.
314
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,393
- Done what?
- Let's have some music, shall we?
315
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,990
BARBARA: Shift up.
316
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,231
BENJAMIN: What are you doing?
What's that?!
317
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,398
Don't worry, love. That's just the handbrake.
318
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,716
Barbara, no!
319
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,356
BARBARA: You see, when you buy a car
320
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,233
you don't go for
the first one in the lot, do you?
321
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,750
No, you want to see under the hood,
322
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,951
fiddle with the points,
323
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,436
check if she slips easily into reverse.
324
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,471
I don't know what you're talking about!
325
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,150
I'm not wearing any knickers, Ben.
Give me your hands.
326
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,874
- Please, Barbara!
- Come on!
327
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,117
You tell me that's not
as good as the real thing, eh?
328
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,959
Let go of my head, what if somebody sees?
329
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,550
No-one will see. Come on! Mmmm!
330
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,673
- No, Barbara, I've got a girlfriend.
- Eh?
331
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,509
I'm sorry, I'm already spoken for.
332
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,156
I thought when you said you
wanted to go with me, you meant...
333
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,954
I meant to the station.
334
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:38,429
I want to leave! There's been a
misunderstanding, Barbara. I'm sorry.
335
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,631
BARBARA: I feel such a fool.
336
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,593
Look, you're a lovely...
337
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,157
- If I wasn't seeing someone else...
- Don't, Ben.
338
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:49,918
You'd better go now.
339
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:56,959
- You can't just leave me here.
- You know I'm having the operation.
340
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,755
- What am I meant to do?
- It was worth a try, wasn't it?
341
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,235
Barbara!
342
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,759
Please!
343
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,351
Shit!
344
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,792
Hilary! Hilary.
345
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,149
Who is it? What's going on?
346
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:20,432
It's me, Hilary. Morris.
347
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,995
What is it? It's four in the morning.
348
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,749
- Let me in, it's important.
- Quiet, don't wake Mrs Briss.
349
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,914
Have you got something for me?
350
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,509
- What do you mean?
- You know bloody well what I mean.
351
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,998
- Oh, you've changed your tune.
- Can you give me a little bit more?
352
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,273
I'm a respectable butcher, I keep
regular hours. Come back tomorrow.
353
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,516
Please...
354
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,631
Please, Hilary!
355
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,111
I'm... hungry!
356
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:10,438
All right, Morris. Just this once.
357
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,835
I'll do you a favour.
358
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,195
Thank you.
359
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:41,390
MAN: Ohhh...
360
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,392
Ohhh...
361
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,637
I want more.
362
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,591
If you can do me a favour sometime.
363
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,714
Excuse me, could you...?
364
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,150
Of course.
365
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,396
Actually, it's just a bit further. Thanks.
29047
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