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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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(GRAVELLY VOICE) This week's "Red Dwarf"
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00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,791
contains scenes which are unsuitable
for younger viewers
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00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,349
and people of a nervous disposition.
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00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:13,034
You have been warned.
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(RED DWARF THEME)
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(STEADY BLEEPING)
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(BLEEP) Danger.
Do not attempt to open this pod.
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The creature inside is extremely hostile.
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It feeds off the human psyche,
seeks out the deranged,
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the unbalanced
and the emotionally crippled.
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(LONG GUTTURAL ROAR)
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(CREATURE MUTTERS) Oh, pardon me...
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Oh! Oh, n...! Urgh!
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(ZIP! ZIP! ZIP!)
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(ZIP!)
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Not too little and not too much. That's important...
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Here we go!
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I'll just give your quarters
a quick tickle around, sir.
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- Won't take a jiff.
- Not now. I'm cooking.
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- I didn't know you could do that!
- Oh, yes.
21
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I have add-ons for my groinal socket
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which allow me to perform virtually
any household task imaginable.
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- Like what?
- Oh, you name it,
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buzz-saw, drill, hedge trimmer...
even an egg whisk.
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So, you stick the egg whisk on
and you can whip up an omelette?
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I can, but it's amazing how
few people are prepared to eat them.
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(JUDDERS AND RATTLES)
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Goodness me!
I must have sucked up a penny.
29
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I better change the old bag.
Yes, I'll just get a fresh one.
30
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Mmm! Something smells good! What is it?
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It's me! I love this aftershave!
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You are minutes away
from the greatest meal of your life.
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Set your taste buds on Def Con 3!
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Hey, where'd you get all this stuff?
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I got sick of plastic cutlery,
so I went to the medical unit.
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This is a scalpel!
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I'm supposed to use something
that's been inside someone's guts?
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It's all been washed. It's clean.
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Something that once may have performed
a certain popular Jewish operation?
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I'm supposed to eat with this?
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Get the onion salads out of the fridge.
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"Embryo Refrigeration Unit"?!
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How many times...? It's clean! It's been cleaned!
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00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,792
- Onion salads...
- They're in the kidney bowls,
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,953
next to the colostomy bag
with the chilli sauce in it.
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Here we go! Here we go!
47
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(BEEPS)
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Yahoo!
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Come on, man. Come on.
It's ready. Sit down. sit down.
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One kebab for you and one kebab for me.
51
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,837
Lemon juice?
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- What the hell is that?
- It's a syringe.
53
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,679
- What kind of syringe?
- It's for cows.
54
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,752
Artificial insemination. It's been washed.
55
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It's all been sterilised. Do you want some?
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00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,753
- Excuse me.
- What about the meal?
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This isn't a meal, it's an autopsy!
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00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,272
- What about the main course?
- You think I got nothing else to do
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than watch you serve
chicken chasseur in a stool bucket?
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Charming! I don't know.
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00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,951
You pull out all the stops, you make an effort...
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try and do something with a bit of class,
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and where does it get you?
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Mmm, very cheeky.
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(MUTTERS)
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00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,675
Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, sir.
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I just need to get a... (LAUGHS) Sorry.
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00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:48,478
Oh, no, Kryten. It's all right.
Just running a few old home movies.
69
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:54,033
That's me, there. Those are my brothers -
John, Frank and Howard.
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God, we were close.
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00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,749
The Four Musketeers, we used to call ourselves.
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00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:03,277
Well, the Three Musketeers, actually.
I was always the Queen of Spain.
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00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,672
Marvellous. Yes, I was the butt
of the occasional practical joke,
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00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,269
but I mean, er...nothing sinister.
75
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,748
Just the usual boyhood pranks, you know -
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apple-pie beds and black-eye telescopes...
77
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,992
One time, they even hid
a small landmine in my sandpit.
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00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,720
They took it from my father's gun cabinet.
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How did they know it would go off?
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00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,717
- Marvellous guys.
- Oh, who's that?
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00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,950
- An old girlfriend, sir?
- Hardly.
82
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,675
No, not really your type. Silly old trout like that.
83
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,953
- She's my mother.
- Oh! Oh! I am so sorry, sir...
84
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,351
- Just forget it.
- Oh, how can I forget it, sir?
85
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,433
I compared your mother
to a foolish, aged, blubbery fish.
86
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,912
I said she was
a simple-minded, scaly old piscine.
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00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,709
I intimated she was an ugly,
lungless marine animal
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with galloping senility,
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00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:10,239
a putrid amphibious gill-breather
with less brains than a mollusc.
90
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,911
Forget it!
91
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,632
Ah. Freeze.
Ah, there she is. Magnificent woman.
92
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,116
Very prim, very proper. Some say austere.
93
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,669
Some took her for cold, aloof.
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Not a bit of it, she just despised idiots,
no time for fools.
95
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,558
Tragic, really,
otherwise we would have got on famously.
96
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,111
Well, if you'll excuse me, sir.
This is a private family moment.
97
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,113
I've no fish to embarrass you further.
98
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I'll let myself trout.
99
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,518
- Oh, sir, I'm...
- Just go!
100
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,238
Don't panic, Arn, but it does appear
there's a very tiny possibility
101
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,313
that there may very well be
a non-human life form on board.
102
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,637
You mean like last time,
when we got all worked up
103
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and went scooting off,
complete with bazookoids and backpacks,
104
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,271
and it was one of Lister's socks?
105
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,110
I didn't recognise the genetic structure.
106
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,874
Biologically speaking,
they were a completely new life form.
107
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Absolutely ridiculous. I felt a total goit.
108
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-Take a butchers'.
- Where is it?
109
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,910
I lost it. It's somewhere
along the habitation decks.
110
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Can't get a moment's peace!
111
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- Enjoying your meal, sir?
- It's de-smegging-licious, Kryten.
112
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It's my own recipe, you know?
113
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:34,759
Shami Kebab Diablo. It's beautiful.
It's like eating molten lava.
114
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I cooked up one for Petersen once.
He was in sick bay for a week.
115
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(SNEEZES)
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- What?
- I didn't say anything, sir.
117
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(CREATURE MUTTERS)
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- You like them that hot?
- It's trying to kill me.
119
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Oh, it's a good one, huh?
120
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,556
- It went under here.
- Are you all right, sir?
121
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- (ZIP!)
- It's gone.
122
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,075
- What?
- How? Where could it go?
123
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,437
We better go, Kryten.
Something very weird is going on.
124
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,956
Something very, very... Ooh!
Sudden pain in my groin.
125
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,629
- What's wrong?
- Ah! My underpants!
126
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,594
They're shrinking. Oh, God!
Me boxers are alive, man!
127
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They're getting smaller! Help me, please!
128
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Please, I'm begging you!
129
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Get 'em off!
130
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,439
- Pull them down!
- Keep still!
131
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,190
Well, I can't say I'm totally shocked.
132
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,749
You'll bonk anything, won't you, Lister?
133
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,952
- The boxers, where are they?
- I put them here.
134
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- You sure?
- There's nothing here.
135
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- (ZIP!)
- Just the blanket and the...
136
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,999
Snake!
137
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,476
- Snake!
- Kryten!
138
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,274
- What the smeg is going on?!
- I hate snakes.
139
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,908
They freak me out totally, snakes.
140
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,436
They are my all-time second-worst fear, guy.
141
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- What's your first?
- (ZIP!)
142
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(ROARS)
143
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This.
144
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,872
Is he OK?
145
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,432
- As far as we can tell, yes.
- Where'd it go?
146
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,952
It turned into a squelchy thing
and squidged off down the corridor.
147
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:46,551
- What is it? Some kind of alien?
- No, it's from Earth, man-made.
148
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:50,633
I checked its DNA profile.
A genetic experiment that went wrong.
149
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,833
Apparently, it was an attempt
to create the ultimate warrior,
150
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a mutant that changes shape
to deceive its enemies.
151
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,638
- So what did go wrong?
- It's insane!
152
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,229
It feeds off the negative emotions -
153
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fear, guilt, anger, paranoia,
drains them out of its prey.
154
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,909
It's a sort of emotional vampire.
155
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,469
It changes shape
to provoke a negative emotion.
156
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,998
It took Lister to the limit
of his terror, then sucked out his fear.
157
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,192
- So now Lister's got no fear?
- Precisely.
158
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,114
- What are we going to do?
- I say let's go and twat it.
159
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,674
Lister, you're ill. Leave this to us.
160
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:36,070
I could have had it, but it took me by surprise.
161
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,675
Lister, it turned into an 8ft-tall
armour-plated alien killing machine.
162
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,189
If it wants a barney, it'll get one.
163
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,875
One knee in the happy sacks,
it'll drop like anyone else.
164
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,989
Fine. We'll bear that in mind.
165
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,510
I'm gonna beat it to death with its own tonsils.
166
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,477
Yes, yes. Very good.
167
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,074
I'll stick my fist so far down its gob,
168
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,153
- I can pull the label off its pants.
- Yes, yes. Kryten...
169
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,631
What's that? You starting trouble?
170
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,718
It's just something to calm you down, sir.
171
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,639
Come on, then. All of you slags!
172
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,191
All together or one at a time.
It's all the same to me. I'm...
173
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,192
Thank God for that.
Right, we have two options -
174
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,399
one - we take it on and kill it,
or two - run away.
175
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,996
- Who's for two?
- Two sounds good to me, sir.
176
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,191
It's always been my lucky number.
177
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,113
- Right, let's load up Starbug.
- What about Lister?
178
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,108
Seal the hatch from the inside.
He'll be safe until we go.
179
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,915
- Remember, it could be anything.
- Let's move it.
180
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,955
What about the Space Corps directive
which states that our primary duty
181
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,557
is to contact other life forms
and bring them home?
182
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,789
What about the Rimmer directive,
which states, "Never tackle anything
183
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,669
"that's got more teeth
than the entire Osmond family"?
184
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,791
(RAPID BEEPING)
185
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,197
It's here.
186
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,514
- Where?
- Somewhere.
187
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,669
Set the bazookoids to heat-seeker.
188
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,839
When you see it, aim roughly in its direction,
189
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,197
and the heat-seekers will do the rest.
190
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,598
In the shadows...
It's in the shadows! There! There! There!
191
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,600
Sorry. My fault. False alarm.
192
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,157
Idiot.
193
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:06,832
I don't understand, holograms
don't produce heat. Neither do androids.
194
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,309
What are they homing in on?
195
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,436
So long, guys.
196
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,790
Oh, come on! Give me a break!
197
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:05,477
You either got it or you ain't,
and, boys, you ain't even close.
198
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,551
(LISTER) Cat, where are you?
199
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,474
- Over here.
- Stay put, we'll come and find you.
200
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,756
Keep talking.
201
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,834
What are you looking for?
202
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,719
A mutant. It's dangerous.
It can turn into anything.
203
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,956
Oh, sounds pretty scary.
204
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,111
It is, baby. Believe me.
205
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:41,076
It must take a really brave sort
of guy to do this kind of work.
206
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,994
- Well, I guess you're right.
- And I bet you have to be smart.
207
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,833
Smart? Yeah,
you definitely have to be smart.
208
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:52,039
It can turn into anything.
You gotta have your wits about you.
209
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:57,035
Don't let up for one second,
or - blip! - you're dog meat.
210
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:02,115
- Come on, babe.
- You know, you're quite a guy,
211
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,751
- Brave, smart, handsome...
- Oh, you think handsome?
212
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,476
Oh, come on. You're probably
the best-looking guy I've ever seen.
213
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:16,674
- I wasn't going to be first to say.
- Do you know what I'd really like?
214
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,274
To make love to a guy like you.
215
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,394
Well, I'm sure I have a window
in my schedule somewhere.
216
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,951
Let's see... What are you doing in,
say, ten seconds time?
217
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,989
- Nothing I couldn't cancel.
- Hi. I'm the Cat.
218
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,237
Hi. I'm the genetic mutant.
219
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,876
Glad to know you. Jenny who?
220
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,031
(ROARS)
221
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,759
It's got him!
222
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,916
Oh! Oh, my goodness! Are you all right?
223
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,876
- Is he dead?
- Unconscious,
224
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,793
but, according to the psi-scan,
he's lost an emotion.
225
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,150
- Which emotion?
- He's lost his vanity.
226
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,318
- This is your fault, Kryten.
- M-M-My fault?
227
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,636
We were supposed to stick together.
228
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,355
- But it wasn't...
- He trusted you. Now look at him.
229
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,393
- Oh, please. I feel so...
- (GROWLS) Guilty?
230
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,075
- Yes.
- Good! (SCREECHES)
231
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,358
Hah!
232
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,477
(ROARS)
233
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,279
Shoo! Shoo!
234
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,079
(ZIP!)
235
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,599
(MUTTERS)
236
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,875
- Let's get out of here.
- It's got my guilt, the one emotion
237
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:50,431
which prevents my transgressing
the mores of civilised society.
238
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,279
Stop your blithering, Kryten. Let's go.
239
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,596
Oh, screw you, hadron-head!
240
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,078
(CREAKS)
241
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,476
(MUTTERING)
242
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,435
Where have you been? Let's go!
243
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,592
(SLURS) I was getting myself comfortable, man.
244
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,989
- Come on, Kryten. You're holding us all up.
- Who cares?
245
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,674
- You'll get us all killed.
- So?
246
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,230
Oh, look. It's Bonehead's mum.
247
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,476
- Mother?
- Hello, dear.
248
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,434
- What are you doing?
- What does it look like, darling?
249
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,871
- You made love to my mother?
- Yeah. What of it?
250
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,994
- It's the polymorph!
- You've just had my mum?!
251
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,954
Five times. He was like a wild stallion.
252
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,868
"Very prim, very proper. Almost austere."
253
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,950
It's trying to make you angry.
254
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,993
Darling, I wish
you could have seen him in action.
255
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,278
He was like a set of pistons
in an ocean liner engine room.
256
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,431
I think I'm going to be sick.
257
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,030
- Don't get angry.
- Lister and mother...
258
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,350
it's a dream come true.
259
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,590
He's so energetic.
260
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,719
I honestly thought
my false teeth were going to fall out.
261
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,236
- Lovely.
- The positions he bent me into!
262
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,631
Terrific. That sounds enchanting. Well done.
263
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:31,396
And the things this boy can do
with Alphabetti Spaghetti.
264
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:35,951
- Cool it, Arnie.
- ALPHABETTI SPAGHETTI?!
265
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,750
- Where is it now?
- It's gone back to the cargo bays,
266
00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,630
sleeping off a four-course meal
of fear, vanity, guilt and anger.
267
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:06,635
Just because it's an armour-plated
alien killing machine
268
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,314
that salivates unspeakable slobber,
269
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,914
doesn't mean it's a bad person.
270
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,835
We need to put together a solution package
over tea and biscuits.
271
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,429
Look at him. You can't trust his opinion.
272
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,591
He's got no anger. He's a total dork.
273
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,918
Good point, Kryten.
Let's take that on board, shall we?
274
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,753
David? Do you have anything to say?
275
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,390
Well, yes. I have, actually, Arnold.
276
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,835
Let's go to the ammunition stores,
277
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,595
get the nuclear warheads
and then strap one to my head.
278
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,955
I'll nut the smegger to oblivion.
279
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:46,197
Right, well, that's nice, David.
Let's put that on the back burner.
280
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,794
Cat, let's have your contribution. Come on.
281
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,316
Hey, don't ask me, I'm nobody.
Just pretend I'm not here.
282
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:57,071
That's lovely. Thank you very much.
Moving on a step...
283
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,955
and don't think
that I'm setting myself up as chairperson.
284
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,079
Just see me as a facilitator.
Kryten, what's your view?
285
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,800
Well, we should send Lister in as a decoy,
286
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,951
and while it's eating him alive,
287
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,157
we could blast it into the stratosphere.
288
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,076
Good plan. That's the best plan yet.
289
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,470
Let it get knackered eating me to death,
290
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,711
then you guys, like, catch it unawares.
291
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,669
Well, that's certainly an option, David, yes.
292
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:29,038
Um, but here's my proposal. Let's get tough.
293
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,430
The time for talking is over.
294
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,878
Call it extreme, but I propose
we hit it hard and hit it fast
295
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:40,955
with a major,
and I mean major, leaflet campaign.
296
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:45,238
And while it's reeling from that,
we follow up with a whist drive,
297
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,960
a car-boot sale, some street theatre
298
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,588
and possibly even some benefit concerts. OK?
299
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,878
Now, if that's not enough,
I'm sorry, it's time for the T-shirts.
300
00:21:55,040 --> 00:22:00,398
"Mutants Out."
"Chameleonic Life Forms? No, Thanks."
301
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,835
If that's not enough, what is?
302
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:07,431
Has anyone ever told you that
you are a disgusting pus-filled bubo
303
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,068
who has all the wit, charm and self-possession
304
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,913
of an Alsatian dog
after a head-swap operation?
305
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,439
Listen, you bunch of tarts, it's clobbering time!
306
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,956
There's a body bag
with that scud-ball's name on it.
307
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:26,636
I'm doing up the zip. Anyone
who gets in my way gets a napalm enema.
308
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:32,714
(SLURS) I think everybody's right,
except me, so just forget I spoke.
309
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:37,630
Um, I think we're all beginning
to lose sight of the real issue here,
310
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,712
which is what are we going to call ourselves?
311
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:46,000
I think it's a choice between
the League Against Salivating Monsters
312
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,390
or my own personal preference,
313
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,109
the Committee for the Liberation
and Integration of Terrifying Organisms
314
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,272
and their Rehabilitation into Society.
315
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,830
Erm, one drawback with that,
the abbreviation is CLITORIS.
316
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,671
Look, it needs killing!
317
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:09,960
If that means I sacrifice my life
in some pointless way, all the better.
318
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,958
Yes. Even if it doesn't work, it'll be a laugh.
319
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,833
Right, so let's just cut all
of this business and get on with it.
320
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,117
Last one alive's a wet ponce. Who's with me?
321
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,959
Well, the car stickers aren't ready till Thursday,
322
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:27,271
but sometimes
one just has to act spontaneously.
323
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,749
- People, let's go.
- I'm coming, too.
324
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,990
Maybe I can bum some money.
325
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:36,950
Maybe if I hand you guys over,
it'll let me go. Move it, suckers!
326
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,877
(GROWLING)
327
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,750
(RIMMER) # Love everybody
328
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,911
♪ All you need is love... ♪
329
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,071
Come on, you chicken!
330
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,630
Show us your slobbery chops
and we'll blow them off.
331
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,957
Here they are, nice juicy humans.
Come and get them.
332
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,588
Here, mutie-mutant!
333
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,277
(GROWLS)
334
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,752
(ROARS)
335
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,239
Phewee! What am I wearing?
336
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,159
Oh, how can you ever forgive me, sirs?
337
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,595
Naturally, I will commit suicide immediately.
338
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,957
Hey, we were all a bit whacked out there.
339
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:03,873
- You can say that again.
- Come on, let's clean up.
340
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,235
If I don't get into evening wear,
341
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:11,520
I'm going to have to resign my post
as Most Handsome Guy on the Ship.
342
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,430
(CACKLES AND ROARS)
343
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,673
♪ It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
344
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,150
♪ I'm all alone, more or less
345
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,517
♪ Let me fly far away from here
346
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,353
♪ Fun, fun, fun
347
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,069
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
348
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,596
♪ I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose
349
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,877
♪ Drinking fresh mango juice
350
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,350
♪ Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes
351
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,080
♪ Fun, fun, fun
352
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,949
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
353
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,793
♪ Fun, fun, fun
354
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:18,192
♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪
28800
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