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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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(POP MUSIC)
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♪ When I saw you for the first time
♪ First time
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♪ My knees began to quiver
♪ Quiver
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♪ And I got a funny feeling
♪ Feeling
5
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♪ In my kidneys and my liver
♪ Digestive system, baby
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♪ My hands they started shakin'
♪ Shakin'
7
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♪ My heart began a-thumpin'
♪ Boom, boom, boom!
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♪ My breakfast left my body
♪ Huey, huey, huey
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♪ It all really tells me something
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♪ Girl, you make me tongue-tied
♪ Tongue-tied
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♪ Tongue-tied
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♪ Whenever you are near me
♪ Near me
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♪ Tied tongue
♪ Tied tongue
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♪ Tied tongue
♪ Tied tongue
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00:00:48,992 --> 00:00:51,310
♪ Whenever you're in town
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00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,197
♪ I saw you across the dance floor
♪ Dancing
17
00:00:58,197 --> 00:01:02,114
♪ I thought of birds and bees
♪ Reproductive system, baby
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♪ But when I tried to speak to you
♪ Talk, talk
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00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:08,989
♪ My tongue unravelled to my knees
♪ Flippety-flippety-flop
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♪ I tried to say "I love you"
♪ Love you
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♪ But it came out kind of wrong, girl
♪ Wrong, girl
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♪ It sounded like, "Noo-noony-nee-noo"
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♪ Tongue-tied
Na-ner-ner-ner-nee-nung, nirl
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♪ Because you make me tongue-tied
♪ Tongue-tied
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♪ Tongue-tied
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♪ Whenever you are near me
♪ Near me
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♪ Be-dobby-durgle, dobby-durgle
♪ Tongue-tied, tongue-tied
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♪ Whenever you're around
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♪ Oh, I'm beggin' on my knees
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♪ Sweet, sweet darling, listen, please
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♪ Understand me when I say
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♪ Bedurble diggle doggle-
dooby-doggle-durgle-day
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♪ I'm trying to say nungy-nangy
♪ Nangy-nongy
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♪ Ningy-nongy
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♪ Why can't I tell you clearly?
♪ Clearly
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♪ Be-dobby-durgle
♪ Dobby-durgle
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♪ Durgle-dobby
♪ Durgle-dobby
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♪ Whenever you're around... ♪
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- This isn't the one.
- What isn't?
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I'm looking for this dream I had
on the dream recorder. It was sensational.
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- What was it about?
- Me, three girls
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and a tub of banana yoghurt!
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You cats have a strange attitude to women.
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Say what, goalpost-head?
45
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It's all sex. No sense of settling down,
long-term relationships.
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Hey, as soon as I find
the right small group of girls,
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the seven or eight women who are right for me,
my wandering days are over.
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You see? Totally maladjusted.
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That's rich from the man whose favourite book
50
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is "How To Pick Up Girls By Hypnosis".
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There's nothing wrong with that.
It's a good book and it works.
52
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Get outta town!
53
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That's how I met Lorraine.
54
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You hypnotised her into a date?
55
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Yes. I gave her the old
"There's something in your eye" technique,
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fixed her with the Mesmer stare...
and bingo, she agreed to go on a date.
57
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- What was wrong with her?
- Nothing.
58
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Come on. She went out with you.
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She was an attractive, bright young lady.
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It MUST work, then.
61
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- Of course, she had an artificial nose.
- What?!
62
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Oh, tastefully done. Quality metal, no rivets.
63
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- Come on, what happened?
- Things were a bit stilted in the taxi.
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My jokes about her nose hadn't gone down well.
65
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They were quality gags, like,
"Where are we going? Who nose?"
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No cheap shots.
67
00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:02,114
Anyway, at the restaurant,
she had an attack of nerves.
68
00:04:02,114 --> 00:04:05,954
She went to the loo and climbed out the window.
69
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:10,397
- I wonder why.
- Not because she didn't like me.
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She phoned and said she'd love another date,
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only she had to move to Pluto.
72
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You're a sad weasel of a man, Rimmer.
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No, I'm just uncomfortable with the opposite sex.
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00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:27,073
You see them as aliens
to be conquered with trickery.
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00:04:27,073 --> 00:04:32,314
They're people. You don't need books
on hypnosis and...what's the other one?
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"1001 Fabulous Chat-up Lines."
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00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,874
Lister, those chat-up lines are guaranteed.
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- There's no such thing.
- All right. You be a woman, OK?
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On your own in a bar,
short leather miniskirt, peephole bra...
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OK. Go on.
81
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This is the most incredible chat-up line
you've ever heard.
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- Go on.
- OK...
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Excuse me, would you like
to join me for a cocktail?
84
00:05:05,079 --> 00:05:07,993
- No.
- You can't say no.
85
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,035
- You've got to say yes.
- Oh, right. OK. Go on.
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- So, would you like a wormdo?
- What's that, then?
87
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- What's what?
- A wormdo.
88
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- What about it?
- Is this still the opening line?
89
00:05:27,199 --> 00:05:30,829
- You're not giving the right replies!
- What's that?
90
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I say, "Would you like a cocktail?"
You say "Yes".
91
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:39,232
I say, "Would you like a wormdo?"
You say, "What's a wormdo?" I say...
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- "It wriggles along like that."
- You know it!
93
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You couldn't pull a rotten tooth
from a dead horse's head with that.
94
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- Eureka, I've done it,
- Done what?
95
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The Earl of Sandwich invented sandwiches,
96
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Samuel Morse invented Morse Code,
97
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Plato invented the plate,,,
98
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and now I, Holly,
have invented the Holly Hop Drive,
99
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:07,638
- Ooh, I can't wait to see it (! )
- It's monumental, this, Epoch-making,
100
00:06:07,638 --> 00:06:11,633
It can transfer any object instantly
to any other point in space,
101
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:15,508
- What? We can go back to Earth?
- In seconds,
102
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:20,151
You mean we can go back to Earth
right now? This instant?
103
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- Right on,
- Rock and roll!
104
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- Is this it?
- What do you think?
105
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It's just a box with "Stop" and "Start" on it!
106
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It's fairly straightforward,
107
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Ifyou want to start it, press "Start",,,
108
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You can work out the rest yourself,
109
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It's absolutely pathetic.
110
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Right, Let's Holly Hop, Engage drive,,,
111
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Drive engaged, Initiating ignition sequence,,,
112
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,230
- Ignition sequence initiated,
- Get on with it.
113
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:11,030
It takes time, this, One error
in any of my 13 billion calculations,
114
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we'll be blasted to smithereens,
115
00:07:13,156 --> 00:07:16,915
Here we go, then, Ten,,, Nine,,, Eight,,,
116
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- Six,,, Five,,,
- You forgot seven.
117
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Did I? I've always had a blind spot with sevens,
118
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We're going to die.
119
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No problem, I'll start lower down,
120
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One,,, Blast off,
121
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We've done it, We're home,
122
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- It worked?
- We're at Earth? You must be joking!
123
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Half a mo',
124
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- It's gone,
- What has?
125
00:07:50,434 --> 00:07:54,229
The Earth, It's missing, It's not there,
126
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,719
Wait a minute,
I was looking out the wrong window,
127
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,238
No, it HAS gone,
The entire solar system is missing,
128
00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:09,269
- Well, what is actually out there?
- Nothing, Just space,
129
00:08:09,269 --> 00:08:15,799
Holly, the thought occurs
that we haven't actually reached Earth.
130
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:20,590
The further thought occurs
that we haven't budged a smegging inch.
131
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No, no, we have,
132
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It's just I don't know where we are,
I've flamingoed up,
133
00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:32,956
- What?
- It's like a cock-up, only much bigger,
134
00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:35,873
Wait, there is something, It's another ship,
135
00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:39,077
- Aliens!
- (LISTER) Punch it up.
136
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- It's an exact copy of Red Dwarf,
- Eh? What's happened?
137
00:08:43,199 --> 00:08:45,271
Somehow - don 't ask me how -
138
00:08:45,271 --> 00:08:50,354
- we've entered the fifth dimension,
- What's the fifth dimension?
139
00:08:50,354 --> 00:08:54,479
Didn't they reach Number Six
with "I Want Your Love Thing"?
140
00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:58,758
You've got your basic dimensions -
length, breadth, depth and time,
141
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The fifth dimension is co-existing realities,
142
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:04,750
two bodies sharing the same space,
unaware of each other,
143
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,912
Sounds li ke my parents i n bed.
144
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:12,678
So, this is another Red Dwarf,
with another Rimmer and Lister?
145
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:17,754
- Will they be exactly the same?
- No, there will be differences,
146
00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:22,436
- What do you mean?
- In this universe, Hitler could've won the war,
147
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:26,911
or even more incredible,
perhaps Ringo was a really good drummer,
148
00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:31,312
Hang on, I'm linking up
with their computer,
149
00:09:31,312 --> 00:09:34,949
- Hello, I'm Hilly,
- Hello, I'm Holly,
150
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,952
- Hello, Holly,
- Hello, Hilly,
151
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:43,068
This is a turn -up, You 'd better
boogie on over and sort it out,
152
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Right on, sis,
153
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,708
- See you, Hol,
- See you, Hil,
154
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,871
I'm in there,
155
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,472
It's identical i n every detai I to our Red Dwarf!
156
00:10:11,472 --> 00:10:15,838
Very funny smell around here
that I don't like one bit.
157
00:10:15,838 --> 00:10:19,959
It smells like your moon boots.
I'm going to get rid of it.
158
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,831
That's mine. This is mine...
159
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,358
So, where's the other Rimmer and Lister?
160
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,235
So, you're not aliens.
161
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:35,880
- Hi.
- Hi.
162
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,075
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
163
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,869
- You must be Lister?
- You are, too.
164
00:10:45,869 --> 00:10:49,714
- You must be Rimmer. So am I.
- Splendid.
165
00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:51,870
- Deb.
- Dave.
166
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:53,518
- Arnold.
- Arlene.
167
00:10:53,518 --> 00:10:55,556
Indeedy!
168
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,679
So, your universe
is exactly the same as ours... Can I?
169
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,352
Yeah.
170
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,111
Only everything's...opposite?
171
00:11:23,111 --> 00:11:27,159
I don't know if everything's opposite.
It seems like that.
172
00:11:27,159 --> 00:11:30,391
You come from a female-orientated society?
173
00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:33,711
Well, it's not exactly female-orientated
any more,
174
00:11:33,711 --> 00:11:38,874
not since the '60s,
the "Equal Rights For Men" marches,
175
00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:41,155
when they burned their jockstraps.
176
00:11:41,155 --> 00:11:43,037
Stop!
177
00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:46,157
Haven't you read "The Male Eunuch"
by Jeremy Greer?
178
00:11:46,157 --> 00:11:50,472
So, your history is parallel to ours, as well?
179
00:11:50,472 --> 00:11:53,632
So, who was the first person on the moon?
180
00:11:53,632 --> 00:11:55,676
Nellie Armstrong.
181
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,797
NELLIE Armstrong?
182
00:11:58,797 --> 00:12:02,589
- So...who wrote Hamlet?
- Will Shakespeare.
183
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:07,037
- Ah, so he was a bloke.
- No, Wilma Shakespeare.
184
00:12:07,037 --> 00:12:11,671
She wrote all the greats - "Rachel III",
"The Taming Of The Shrimp"...
185
00:12:11,671 --> 00:12:14,320
My God, what's this?
186
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,676
- My Camera Monthly magazine.
- It's disgusting!
187
00:12:17,676 --> 00:12:22,072
It's full of semi-naked blokes
draped over sports cars.
188
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,709
You're not one
of those boring masculinists, are you?
189
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,398
So, sexual attitudes are opposite, as well?
190
00:12:30,398 --> 00:12:33,074
What's that, my little cupcake?
191
00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:35,196
Your little what?!
192
00:12:35,196 --> 00:12:40,673
It just looks ridiculous!
These models are hugely deformed.
193
00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:43,877
It makes one feel quite...inadequate.
194
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:50,233
- Don't worry about that, my pretty.
- They can touch each other!
195
00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:55,269
Hey! I hate to break up the party,
but isn't there somebody missing?
196
00:12:55,269 --> 00:12:59,876
- How do you mean?
- Well, Lister, female opposite.
197
00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:03,236
Rimmer, female opposite. Where's mine?
198
00:13:03,236 --> 00:13:06,517
Oh. Mooching around the cargo decks, I think.
199
00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:12,277
Aow! all my life I've waited
for this moment, and now it has arrived!
200
00:13:12,277 --> 00:13:18,469
Hey, if you hear me screaming,
do NOT come to the rescue!
201
00:13:18,469 --> 00:13:19,469
Aow!
202
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,632
♪ I'm gonna get you, little chickie... ♪
203
00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:27,110
- I think he's in for a shock.
- Why?
204
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,272
- His opposite isn't female.
- What is it?
205
00:13:30,272 --> 00:13:32,351
It's a dog.
206
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,879
Boy, oh, boy! Where'd they go?
207
00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:41,238
I get so dang panicky
when they leave me on my own.
208
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,390
Damn these fleas!
209
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,433
♪ I'm gonna get you, little chickie,
210
00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:50,035
♪ I'm gonna get you, little... ♪
211
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:59,952
I don't know what that is,
but I'm sure he wants to eat me.
212
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:05,236
Well, trash my shorts, what a funny-looking dog!
213
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:08,118
I'd better make myself look big!
214
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,115
Put it there, Buddy...
215
00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:15,557
God! What kind of toothpaste
does he use? Rotting meat flavour?
216
00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:19,269
Come on, now. I wanna be your buddy!
217
00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:24,593
Tell you what, I'm gonna smell
your behind, then you can smell mine!
218
00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:28,992
- Now, is that a deal?
- You wanna smell my WHAT?!
219
00:14:28,992 --> 00:14:32,197
Why, sure! Don't you wanna smell me?
220
00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:37,559
Man, I could smell you if you was on Mars!
When did you last take a bath?
221
00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:40,234
- Don't say that word!
- What? Bath?
222
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:46,236
You said it again! Now, listen up.
If y'all gonna say that word, spell it.
223
00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:50,154
When did you last take a B-A-T-H?
224
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,671
What's that?
225
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,720
Yo, Cat... There you are.
226
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,758
- We're going to the disco.
- What?
227
00:14:58,758 --> 00:15:02,116
It'll take 17 hours to repair the Hop Drive,
228
00:15:02,116 --> 00:15:05,875
so I thought we'd have a few...bevvies.
229
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:08,713
Yeah! Come on! Aow!
230
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,914
(DISCO MUSIC)
231
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,429
They seem to be getting on.
232
00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:44,512
- Yes. Absolutely.
- Oh, yes.
233
00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:49,196
- Like a house on fire.
- You can say that again.
234
00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:53,319
Mind you, we've got a good conversation
going on here.
235
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,311
Oh, yes, yes.
236
00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:57,391
Absolutely.
237
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:01,712
Funny. I'm not normally good
at talking to the opposite sex.
238
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,190
I'm not. I run out of things to say.
239
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,231
Me, too.
240
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,031
So, you're a girl, then?
241
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,394
- Yes.
- That's nice.
242
00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:27,758
Hang on. Haven't you got something in your eye?
243
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,151
You're trying to hypnotise me!
244
00:16:32,151 --> 00:16:35,312
- Of course not.
- Stop staring, then.
245
00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:39,871
OK! I read it that it's great for picking up totty.
246
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,798
Well, I'd hardly describe myself as "totty".
247
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,995
Oh, yes!
248
00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:51,993
Totty, totty...totty.
249
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:55,993
You've had too much to drink. I get like this.
250
00:16:55,993 --> 00:16:58,310
Come on. You're interested.
251
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:02,029
- I'm not.
- Why are you giving me the signs?
252
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:05,556
- What signs?
- Wearing such tight trousers?
253
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:08,916
- They're not tight.
- You're begging for it.
254
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,793
I'm not "totty" and I'm not begging for anything.
255
00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:18,635
Give us a snog, I won't try
to take off your underpants.
256
00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:22,599
I'm sorry, I'm just not that kind of...boy.
257
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,517
Frigid!
258
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,838
You're disgusting! You're only after one thing!
259
00:17:31,838 --> 00:17:34,388
Why? How many have you got?
260
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,591
You're a great conversationalist.
261
00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:44,992
- But I ain't said nothin' yet...
- That's what I like best.
262
00:17:44,992 --> 00:17:48,629
- I'm going to the bar?
- I'll have a grenade.
263
00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:52,030
- A grenade?
- Yeah. I wanna play fetch.
264
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,392
Listie! How are you, my old mate.
265
00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:03,040
Please, God, come and join us!
266
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,591
I won't be long.
267
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:13,273
If you want to keep your beer cool,
stick it between his legs.
268
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,390
What was all that about?
269
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:21,109
- That's the most awful woman I ever met.
- She's you.
270
00:18:21,109 --> 00:18:23,191
She's absolutely repugnant.
271
00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:28,877
She treats me like some sort
of discardable sex object.
272
00:18:28,877 --> 00:18:33,670
- She's the female equivalent of you.
- Nonsense. She's maladjusted.
273
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:39,153
Trust me to get El Weirdo,
while you get the one with the juicy jugs.
274
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:44,314
See! She thinks of men
the exact same way you think of women.
275
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:48,439
She accused me of wiggling my bottom
in a provocative way.
276
00:18:48,439 --> 00:18:51,956
I was just walking! I can't help being sexy.
277
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,473
- What's the other one like?
- Totally gross.
278
00:18:55,473 --> 00:18:58,074
She's unbelievable. She tried to impress me
279
00:18:58,074 --> 00:19:02,233
by drinking six pints of lager,
then belching "Yankee Doodle Dandy".
280
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,390
That's your party piece, isn't it?
281
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:08,597
Yeah, but when I do it, it's stylish.
282
00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:10,477
(BELCHES)
283
00:19:10,477 --> 00:19:12,357
Class.
284
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,795
- Do you think you'll, er...?
- What?
285
00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:18,871
Get outta town!
286
00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:24,398
She's a good laugh, but all she does
is get blitzed and eat vindaloos.
287
00:19:24,398 --> 00:19:28,359
Call me crazy,
but I just don't find that attractive.
288
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,796
- How's it going?
- Put it this way,
289
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:35,714
there'll be two pairs of shoes
under the bed tonight.
290
00:19:35,714 --> 00:19:37,631
Wallop!
291
00:19:37,631 --> 00:19:43,192
He doesn't look too interested to me.
He looks more, er...petrified.
292
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:48,274
He doesn't want me to think
he's the ship's bike, but I'm getting the signs.
293
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:54,071
He crossed his legs and made sure I saw
that he was wearing sock suspenders.
294
00:19:54,071 --> 00:19:59,871
- Rimmer, he's not interested.
- Wait till I give him the wormdo line.
295
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,791
Hey, do you want to dance?
296
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:08,273
I tell you, when I hit the dance floor,
I am one mean turkey! Do you dance?
297
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:12,638
Do I dance? Does Carmen Miranda wear fruit?
298
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,997
Alrighty! You lead on, boy.
299
00:20:16,997 --> 00:20:19,913
Hold this, Fido.
300
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,994
You call that dancing? No way, José!
301
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,071
This is dancing!
302
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,192
(HOWLS)
303
00:20:39,192 --> 00:20:41,271
Well, whaddya say, huh?
304
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,795
- Oh, eh. Another dead heat.
- That's eight on the run.
305
00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:53,156
- I want to speak to Holly.
- Sure.
306
00:20:53,156 --> 00:20:55,879
Holly, how long before the Hop Drive's fixed?
307
00:20:55,879 --> 00:21:00,272
We're busy fixing it right now, aren't we, Hilly?
308
00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:03,955
Yes, Holly, That's exactly what we're doing,
309
00:21:03,955 --> 00:21:08,238
- What's that mark on your face?
- What face?
310
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:12,677
- The lipstick mark.
- That's a computer rash,
311
00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:15,433
Holly, just get me out of here.
312
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,751
What's the matter?
Aren't you having a good time?
313
00:21:18,751 --> 00:21:20,876
A good time?!
314
00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:22,951
Lister... (CLEARS THROAT)
315
00:21:22,951 --> 00:21:26,749
I'm going to bed now, on my own, alone.
316
00:21:26,749 --> 00:21:30,196
If she comes back, say I've got a headache.
317
00:21:30,196 --> 00:21:33,875
- Where's she gone?
- To get some sexy videos.
318
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:37,555
She thinks seeing two men together
might turn me on.
319
00:21:37,555 --> 00:21:41,679
- Where are you sleeping?
- I'm not telling you.
320
00:21:41,679 --> 00:21:47,198
- Are you a man or a munchkin?
- # I'm off to see the wizard... #
321
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,635
You ready, then? OK, after three... Three!
322
00:21:53,635 --> 00:21:55,517
Ha! Beat you!
323
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,994
Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk?
324
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,077
Oh, no.
325
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:23,159
Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk?
326
00:22:23,159 --> 00:22:23,909
Hi.
327
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,473
- Hi.
- Listen. Did we...?
328
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,151
I can't remember.
329
00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:36,429
I remember betting you I could
climb the disco wall using only me lips...
330
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,795
And then... Oh, God,
I juggled the goldfish, didn't I?
331
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,517
Blindfold.
332
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,837
Then...
333
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,990
Oh, eh. We did, didn't we?
334
00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,799
You pieces of filth.
335
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:57,589
How could you commit an act
of carnal knowledge...?
336
00:22:57,589 --> 00:23:00,911
..on my bunk, on my sheets, using my springs?
337
00:23:00,911 --> 00:23:04,151
How could you contemplate
making love to yourself?
338
00:23:04,151 --> 00:23:07,949
Well, why break a habit of a lifetime?
339
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,676
Leave it out! I was out of me skull.
340
00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:14,876
What's that supposed to mean?
341
00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:19,351
I wouldn't have slept with you
if I'd known what I was doing.
342
00:23:19,351 --> 00:23:22,591
- Thanks!
- I hope you get pregnant.
343
00:23:22,591 --> 00:23:26,036
No offence, but you're not exactly difficult to pull.
344
00:23:26,036 --> 00:23:28,111
Talk about a pushover!
345
00:23:28,111 --> 00:23:31,954
That's rich coming from Miss Yo-Yo Knickers.
346
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:38,351
I hope you get pregnant, you cheap little tart!
347
00:23:38,351 --> 00:23:41,512
- You what?
- How can he get pregnant?
348
00:23:41,512 --> 00:23:45,195
Unless they used precautions,
he could be up the spout.
349
00:23:45,195 --> 00:23:49,637
- But it's women who get pregnant!
- Since when?
350
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:52,951
Since always! Me mother was a woman!
351
00:23:52,951 --> 00:23:56,112
Oh, Listie!
352
00:23:56,112 --> 00:23:59,476
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
353
00:23:59,476 --> 00:24:04,634
If I'm understanding correctly,
it appears that in their universe,
354
00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:07,678
it's men who give birth to babies.
355
00:24:07,678 --> 00:24:14,199
As we are in their universe, you could
well possibly be up the duff, laddie!
356
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,718
- This is a wind-up.
- Don't get upset in your condition!
357
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,399
It's impossible! I haven't got the...
the equipment, have I?
358
00:24:25,399 --> 00:24:29,075
You're in our universe. Our physical law applies.
359
00:24:29,075 --> 00:24:31,958
Holly, tell me this isn't true.
360
00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:37,398
- I'm afraid it is,,,Mum,
- How could you do this to me?
361
00:24:37,398 --> 00:24:41,314
- Do what?
- Fertilise me. Take advantage of me,
362
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:44,756
knowing that I didn't have precautions.
363
00:24:44,756 --> 00:24:50,073
I assumed you'd taken care of that.
It's the man's responsibility.
364
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:55,439
It's the man who gets pregnant,
who suffers the agony of childbirth.
365
00:24:55,439 --> 00:24:58,717
Agony? This gets better and better!
366
00:24:58,717 --> 00:25:04,875
- What can I do? I'm sorry, OK?
- Sorry? That's it? Sorry?
367
00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:07,155
Wham, bam, thank you, mister?
368
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,718
Well, there's no point arguing,
If it's happened, it's happened,
369
00:25:12,718 --> 00:25:15,837
We'd better get back, I've fixed the Hop Drive,
370
00:25:15,837 --> 00:25:19,469
We can't! She could be the father of my child!
371
00:25:19,469 --> 00:25:23,315
- If we don 't go now, we're stuck,
- Listen...
372
00:25:23,315 --> 00:25:26,836
Just because it's possible for you to get pregnant,
373
00:25:26,836 --> 00:25:29,753
it doesn't necessarily mean that you are.
374
00:25:29,753 --> 00:25:31,831
You might get lucky.
375
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,310
But then again, you might not.
376
00:25:40,310 --> 00:25:43,756
We'll find out when we get back, won't we?
377
00:25:43,756 --> 00:25:45,911
Engaging Holly Hop,,,
378
00:25:45,911 --> 00:25:47,991
Holly Hop engaged,
379
00:25:47,991 --> 00:25:50,913
Four,,, Three,,, One,,, Blast off,
380
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,791
I don't know why I'm doing this.
It's just not possible!
381
00:26:01,791 --> 00:26:04,758
Why not? Male baboons have given birth.
382
00:26:04,758 --> 00:26:09,595
They were doing that as far back
as the 20th century. Caesarean, naturally.
383
00:26:09,595 --> 00:26:11,875
(MAKES SLASHING
AND THUDDING SOUNDS)
384
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,314
You'll be in good hands.
The skutters can handle it.
385
00:26:17,314 --> 00:26:21,598
Skutters?! I wouldn't let them
open a can of beans.
386
00:26:21,598 --> 00:26:24,148
You're thinking too negative!
387
00:26:24,148 --> 00:26:29,439
Think of all the glorious, beautiful,
wondrous things about having children!
388
00:26:29,439 --> 00:26:32,159
- Like?
- When they leave home.
389
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:38,071
- What colour should it turn?
- Blue for not pregnant...which it will.
390
00:26:38,071 --> 00:26:40,310
- And red for pregnant?
- Yeah.
391
00:26:40,310 --> 00:26:43,198
Come on, you reds!
392
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,191
- What colour is it now?
- Still white.
393
00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:52,957
Oi, Remember when we broke the light
barrier and saw echoes from the future?
394
00:26:52,957 --> 00:26:56,635
- Yeah.
- Your future self had twin boys,
395
00:26:56,635 --> 00:27:00,759
Right. I said, "How could you get
two babies on board?"
396
00:27:00,759 --> 00:27:04,879
And you said, "It'll be a lot of fun finding out."
397
00:27:04,879 --> 00:27:08,953
- How right you were, Listie!
- Twins? No way!
398
00:27:08,953 --> 00:27:12,635
Oh, yes! Big, strapping boys they were, as well.
399
00:27:12,635 --> 00:27:14,711
Huge heads.
400
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,915
- It's changing colour!
- What colour?
401
00:27:17,915 --> 00:27:20,150
- It's changing!
- What colour?
402
00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:23,391
- Yes, it's changing.
- Blue for not pregnant, right?
403
00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:26,040
- Yes!
- Oh, excellent news, Listie!
404
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,078
- Oh, thank God!
- I'm going to be an uncle.
405
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,397
♪ It's cold outside
406
00:27:35,397 --> 00:27:37,277
♪ There's no kind of atmosphere
407
00:27:37,277 --> 00:27:40,716
♪ I'm all alone, more or less
408
00:27:40,716 --> 00:27:43,917
♪ Let me fly far away from here
409
00:27:43,917 --> 00:27:46,753
♪ Fun, fun, fun
410
00:27:46,753 --> 00:27:50,355
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
411
00:27:50,355 --> 00:27:53,796
♪ I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose
412
00:27:53,796 --> 00:27:57,156
♪ Drinking fresh mango juice
413
00:27:57,156 --> 00:28:00,516
♪ Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes
414
00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:03,273
♪ Fun, fun, fun
415
00:28:03,273 --> 00:28:07,035
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
416
00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:09,793
♪ Fun, fun, fun
417
00:28:09,793 --> 00:28:13,953
♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪
33895
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