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1
00:00:06,852 --> 00:00:08,085
Wow!
2
00:00:08,099 --> 00:00:10,267
I have about 20 minutes to kill.
3
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,408
Do you have any ideas?
4
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:13,291
I can help you kill five.
5
00:00:19,322 --> 00:00:20,154
Hey, guys.
6
00:00:20,185 --> 00:00:22,052
Sheldon!
7
00:00:22,038 --> 00:00:24,373
Am I interrupting?
8
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:25,941
No, not at all.
9
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:27,573
We were just making out thinking,
10
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:30,405
- "too bad Sheldon's not here."
- Uh...
11
00:00:30,352 --> 00:00:32,720
weird, but understandable.
12
00:00:32,686 --> 00:00:34,220
What is it, Sheldon?
13
00:00:34,221 --> 00:00:36,956
A quick question... Can I
have the rest of the ice cream?
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,374
What? Yeah, go ahead.
15
00:00:38,378 --> 00:00:39,311
Are you sure?
16
00:00:39,337 --> 00:00:40,737
'Cause there's hardly any left,
17
00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:43,612
and I am trying to be a
considerate house guest.
18
00:00:43,557 --> 00:00:45,090
Try knocking.
19
00:00:45,091 --> 00:00:46,525
Good note for next time.
20
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,497
Okay. I'm gonna eat it.
21
00:00:50,686 --> 00:00:52,653
Last chance.
22
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,370
Just go!
23
00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:56,198
Rude.
24
00:00:57,241 --> 00:00:59,375
So. Where were we?
25
00:01:00,598 --> 00:01:02,132
Seriously? You expect me
26
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:04,101
to go right back to foreplay after that?
27
00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:05,217
You're right.
28
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:06,769
Let's skip the foreplay.
29
00:01:06,769 --> 00:01:08,070
Yeah.
30
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,115
Honey, how long is he staying here?
31
00:01:10,094 --> 00:01:11,428
Just a few more days.
32
00:01:11,436 --> 00:01:14,505
Come on, let's forget about him.
33
00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:23,201
Danny, where do you
keep the extra blankets?
34
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,505
Sheldon, come on!
35
00:01:24,514 --> 00:01:27,282
What? The ice cream made me cold.
36
00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:29,232
It's in the downstairs closet.
37
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,514
Roger that.
38
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:31,558
And...
39
00:01:31,579 --> 00:01:33,580
And what about the extra pillows?
40
00:01:33,563 --> 00:01:35,997
That couch is killing my back.
41
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,527
Perhaps you'd like to sleep in here.
42
00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:39,495
That's disgusting, Kim.
43
00:01:39,477 --> 00:01:41,378
I'm not gonna sleep
with you and my brother.
44
00:01:41,364 --> 00:01:44,233
I meant alone. Okay? You can have the bed.
45
00:01:44,177 --> 00:01:45,978
Oh. Yeah, that sounds great.
46
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:48,836
I was being sarcastic!
47
00:01:48,782 --> 00:01:51,316
- You were?
- I did not get that.
48
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:53,610
You do not do sarcasm well, Kim.
49
00:01:55,399 --> 00:01:56,500
Well, thank you.
50
00:01:56,519 --> 00:01:59,020
I really appreciate your feedback.
51
00:01:58,981 --> 00:02:00,581
Hey, you think I like staying here?
52
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:01,780
It's not my fault
53
00:02:01,794 --> 00:02:03,862
they're pulling asbestos
out of my apartment.
54
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,541
Just how old is your apartment?
55
00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:07,303
Well, now, that's the funny thing.
56
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,262
See, I actually had
the asbestos brought in.
57
00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:11,970
It's a long story.
58
00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:14,063
And here it is.
59
00:02:15,255 --> 00:02:16,855
That's it. I'm out of here.
60
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,602
So, where do we stand on that whole, uh,
61
00:02:25,550 --> 00:02:27,651
me-taking-the-bed thing?
62
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:39,029
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
63
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,968
I'm sorry, I just...
64
00:02:42,976 --> 00:02:43,976
I can't stand another second
65
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,666
of Sheldon staying here.
66
00:02:45,661 --> 00:02:47,228
- Hey!
- Ugh.
67
00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:50,238
I don't like living with you either,
68
00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:52,234
but you don't hear me complaining, okay?
69
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:55,383
I do the respectable thing
and complain behind your back.
70
00:02:57,843 --> 00:03:00,344
I can't just kick him out. He's my brother.
71
00:03:00,304 --> 00:03:01,338
You have two of them.
72
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,194
Give him to the other one.
73
00:03:04,206 --> 00:03:06,039
Oh, no, no, Ryan won't let me stay with him
74
00:03:06,028 --> 00:03:09,897
after I used his razor to trim the boys.
75
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,268
Didn't I just lend you my razor?
76
00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:14,431
No. That was Kim's.
77
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:15,739
I'll be at my place.
78
00:03:15,747 --> 00:03:18,482
Oh, finally. I can undo my pants.
79
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,501
Wait! I'll go with you.
80
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,080
What? No.
81
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,806
I have a great idea. Let's
get a nice hotel room.
82
00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:26,921
A hotel on a Tuesday?
83
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:28,972
Why don't we just flush
our money down the toilet?
84
00:03:28,952 --> 00:03:32,121
That reminds me. I broke the toilet.
85
00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:34,855
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
86
00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:36,404
Why don't you want to go to your place?
87
00:03:36,401 --> 00:03:39,470
Are you, uh, stashing
your other boyfriend there?
88
00:03:39,407 --> 00:03:42,008
What? No!
89
00:03:41,965 --> 00:03:44,066
You realize I was being sarcastic, right?
90
00:03:44,043 --> 00:03:46,244
See? That's how it's done.
91
00:03:46,218 --> 00:03:48,152
Fine. Let's go.
92
00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:49,469
Great.
93
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,314
Sheldon, the condo is
yours. Make yourself at home.
94
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:54,894
Heh-heh, oh... Trust me. I will.
95
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,551
I'm gonna nuke myself some nachos,
96
00:03:56,544 --> 00:03:59,780
maybe trim the old tiger-claws.
97
00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:01,277
Wait. Weren't you supposed to meet Ryan
98
00:04:01,277 --> 00:04:02,577
at the Recess for a drink tonight?
99
00:04:02,588 --> 00:04:05,056
Oh, yeah, I was, but I canceled that.
100
00:04:05,018 --> 00:04:07,152
Well, actually, I didn't cancel it,
101
00:04:07,128 --> 00:04:08,996
I just didn't show up.
102
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,782
What, so Ryan's just waiting there?
103
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,840
That's right.
104
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,342
Hey, man.
105
00:04:20,364 --> 00:04:22,799
You wanna move that sweater?
106
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,464
Oh, I'm actually saving
the seat for my brother.
107
00:04:24,457 --> 00:04:28,126
And, uh, technically, it's a cardigan.
108
00:04:28,038 --> 00:04:29,171
I know it's a cardigan.
109
00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:31,223
You telling me I have no fashion-sense?
110
00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:33,437
No! I love that shirt.
111
00:04:33,410 --> 00:04:35,377
Is it an iron-on, or...?
112
00:04:37,182 --> 00:04:38,516
You know what? Take the seat.
113
00:04:38,525 --> 00:04:39,892
You know what? Now I need two seats.
114
00:04:39,899 --> 00:04:42,434
But... you're alone.
115
00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:45,295
No. I need a seat for my new sweater.
116
00:04:46,278 --> 00:04:46,836
Yeah.
117
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,639
Still a cardigan.
118
00:04:49,588 --> 00:04:52,690
Is this guy giving you trouble?
119
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,326
Nikki! No, no.
120
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,453
We were just
121
00:04:55,471 --> 00:04:58,539
discussing recent trends in men's knitwear.
122
00:04:59,242 --> 00:05:00,976
You and that ridiculous sweater
123
00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:02,303
can just get the hell out of here.
124
00:05:02,313 --> 00:05:04,181
Well, that's my sweater.
125
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:07,436
Listen, red. You don't scare me.
126
00:05:08,803 --> 00:05:11,372
And that was my beer.
127
00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:12,529
How 'bout now?
128
00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:14,077
Okay. I was leaving.
129
00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:15,445
Next time.
130
00:05:15,453 --> 00:05:16,320
Okay.
131
00:05:19,226 --> 00:05:22,195
Oh. Wow! That was so emasculating.
132
00:05:22,136 --> 00:05:23,169
I know.
133
00:05:23,191 --> 00:05:25,058
I'm kinda turned on, too.
134
00:05:28,115 --> 00:05:30,683
Wait here a minute while I pick up a few...
135
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,942
things.
136
00:05:32,911 --> 00:05:35,479
Oh, my God! You've been robbed!
137
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:39,338
Oh, my God, you haven't been robbed!
138
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:42,175
See? This is why I didn't
want you to come over.
139
00:05:42,119 --> 00:05:44,153
Usually, I take a few minutes to tidy up.
140
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:46,634
Is that the Chinese food
141
00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:48,096
we had two weeks ago?
142
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,231
Now you're being judgmental.
143
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:51,183
That was observational.
Judgemental would be...
144
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,134
"e-e-e-ew!
145
00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:56,720
That's the Chinese food
we had two weeks ago!"
146
00:05:56,634 --> 00:05:57,934
Well, you never would've seen it
147
00:05:57,945 --> 00:06:00,680
if you had sprung for a
hotel room on a Tuesday.
148
00:06:00,630 --> 00:06:02,565
- Ugh!
- Don't touch anything!
149
00:06:02,549 --> 00:06:04,450
I have a system.
150
00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:07,838
Oh! Did you get a new bra?
151
00:06:07,762 --> 00:06:09,328
And bigger boobs?
152
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,161
If you must know...
153
00:06:11,150 --> 00:06:12,917
it's an old bra.
154
00:06:12,908 --> 00:06:14,909
Oh, what? Did you have a breast reduction?
155
00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:18,478
Oh, my God, you had a breast reduction!
156
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:20,943
They were these huge double-D's.
157
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,803
Double-D's?
158
00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:25,256
Yeah, that sounds awful.
159
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,028
Why didn't you tell me?
160
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:28,375
Oh, I don't know.
161
00:06:28,384 --> 00:06:29,984
Thought maybe you'd be distracted
162
00:06:29,983 --> 00:06:32,150
by that information.
163
00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:33,224
Sorry! Okay?
164
00:06:33,243 --> 00:06:34,411
There's just a lot to take in.
165
00:06:34,426 --> 00:06:35,727
I mean, significantly less
166
00:06:35,737 --> 00:06:36,770
than there used to be,
167
00:06:36,792 --> 00:06:38,426
but still!
168
00:06:38,423 --> 00:06:39,923
Alright, so there's one or two things
169
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:40,892
you don't know about me.
170
00:06:40,916 --> 00:06:42,817
I used to be a slob with big breasts
171
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,570
and now I'm just a slob.
172
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:46,129
I'm not perfect.
173
00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:48,496
Kim, nobody's perfect.
174
00:06:48,462 --> 00:06:50,696
But you're perfect for me.
175
00:06:53,865 --> 00:06:56,200
You're imagining what they
used to be like, aren't you?
176
00:06:56,168 --> 00:06:57,802
No!
177
00:06:57,799 --> 00:07:00,467
Just a minute more.
178
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,035
You know what's funny, Nikki?
179
00:07:07,038 --> 00:07:08,638
Clowns crowding into a taxi cab,
180
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,471
but then the taxi cab gets into an accident
181
00:07:10,459 --> 00:07:12,460
and the clowns all die?
182
00:07:15,064 --> 00:07:16,498
No.
183
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,403
That if Sheldon hadn't stood me up tonight,
184
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,456
we wouldn't have spent
the last few hours talking.
185
00:07:20,435 --> 00:07:21,836
I know.
186
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,576
But just so you know,
you're so not my type of guy.
187
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,795
You're not even my type of woman.
188
00:07:26,766 --> 00:07:28,366
Ahh. Don't worry.
189
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,631
There isn't enough booze in this bar
190
00:07:29,643 --> 00:07:31,611
to make you my type.
191
00:07:40,098 --> 00:07:41,332
Wow!
192
00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:42,446
I can't believe
193
00:07:42,465 --> 00:07:43,765
you sprung for a hotel room
194
00:07:43,776 --> 00:07:45,610
on a Tuesday!
195
00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,477
Have you seen my other shoe?
196
00:07:55,468 --> 00:07:58,537
I'm surprised you could find your foot.
197
00:07:58,475 --> 00:07:59,475
Ah! See? Ha-ha.
198
00:07:59,497 --> 00:08:01,031
Told you I have a system.
199
00:08:04,006 --> 00:08:05,073
Oh!
200
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,459
What do you want?
201
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:07,901
You, Kim.
202
00:08:07,907 --> 00:08:09,740
Don't pretend you don't feel it, too.
203
00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,447
Hey, Danny.
204
00:08:12,446 --> 00:08:13,813
Whoa, whoa-whoa!
205
00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:16,857
Looks like you guys had
quite the night last night.
206
00:08:16,794 --> 00:08:18,028
No!
207
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:19,208
She lives this way.
208
00:08:20,343 --> 00:08:21,510
She has a system.
209
00:08:23,157 --> 00:08:24,223
What is it, Sheldon?
210
00:08:24,244 --> 00:08:25,311
Oh, yeah. Uh...
211
00:08:25,332 --> 00:08:26,966
Listen, me and the guys couldn't figure out
212
00:08:26,962 --> 00:08:28,997
how to turn on your stereo speakers
213
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,077
in your bedroom.
214
00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:31,863
Oh, it's, uh... It's this.
215
00:08:31,853 --> 00:08:33,721
And what "guys"?
216
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:34,876
Just some guys.
217
00:08:34,891 --> 00:08:37,426
So if I press this, what does that do?
218
00:08:37,385 --> 00:08:40,386
Nothing. We're six miles from the condo.
219
00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:46,431
Of course.
220
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:50,035
Sheldon told me we were
hanging out here now.
221
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:52,752
Whoa! This place is disgusting.
222
00:08:54,842 --> 00:08:56,409
Danny...
223
00:08:56,409 --> 00:08:57,676
I'll see you tonight.
224
00:08:57,688 --> 00:08:59,288
Please don't touch anything.
225
00:08:59,286 --> 00:09:01,220
Please don't make us.
226
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,214
You can date a woman who lives like this?
227
00:09:08,175 --> 00:09:10,843
You can leave the house in those pants?
228
00:09:10,797 --> 00:09:13,465
Meow.
229
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:16,387
Sorry. I'm just a little
grumpy this morning.
230
00:09:16,328 --> 00:09:18,762
Good Gravy!
231
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,961
Who does this belong to?
232
00:09:21,891 --> 00:09:22,992
That's Kim's.
233
00:09:23,011 --> 00:09:25,345
Get this... She had a breast reduction.
234
00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:26,546
What?
235
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,627
What the hell is wrong
with women these days?
236
00:09:28,605 --> 00:09:31,274
Huh? You don't see me
getting a penis reduction.
237
00:09:31,227 --> 00:09:34,163
You know, speaking of
large-breasted specimens,
238
00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:35,906
I had an interesting
encounter last evening.
239
00:09:36,695 --> 00:09:40,131
We're learning a lot of
new things about Kim, Danny.
240
00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:41,786
Who knows what else she's hiding.
241
00:09:41,778 --> 00:09:45,581
She's not hiding
anything, so stop snooping.
242
00:09:45,487 --> 00:09:47,922
Uh-huh! And here's your
first dark, dirty secret...
243
00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:49,518
right here.
244
00:09:49,515 --> 00:09:51,216
Speaking of dark, dirty secrets...
245
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:52,643
What is it, Sheldon?
246
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,084
This creepy wooden doll, huh?
247
00:09:55,047 --> 00:09:57,248
Oh, and wait, it gets weirder.
248
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,923
There's another one inside.
249
00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:00,516
Look out! There's another one!
250
00:10:00,514 --> 00:10:03,049
What the hell is she into?
251
00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,188
I had sex with Nikki last night!
252
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,540
Our Nikki?
253
00:10:07,549 --> 00:10:08,616
The redhead? How was it?
254
00:10:08,635 --> 00:10:11,537
More importantly, why was it?
255
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,326
Well, Nikki and I were at the Recess,
256
00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:16,393
and there was this thug hassling people,
257
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:17,606
so, you know, someone had to step in.
258
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:18,920
So Nikki saved your ass?
259
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:20,031
Yes. Big time.
260
00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,051
Who cares about that? How was the sex?
261
00:10:22,032 --> 00:10:23,600
Ugh, it was weird.
262
00:10:23,598 --> 00:10:25,766
She kept screaming, "Let
me stick the landing!"
263
00:10:25,741 --> 00:10:27,242
And that mouth of hers...
264
00:10:27,244 --> 00:10:30,213
frankly, she was indelicate.
265
00:10:30,154 --> 00:10:31,053
I guess you won't be going back
266
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,882
to that buffet?
267
00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,471
No. We just had nothing in common.
268
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:35,970
The only reason I agreed
to do it a third time
269
00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:38,172
was because I couldn't think of
anything to talk to her about.
270
00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:43,516
...and then he wanted to do it
271
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,585
a third time.
272
00:10:44,604 --> 00:10:46,039
I'm telling you,
273
00:10:46,044 --> 00:10:48,879
he could not get enough "Vitamin Nikki."
274
00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:50,559
Please don't feel the
need to tell me everything.
275
00:10:50,552 --> 00:10:52,186
Ryan was so whiny and needy.
276
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,983
It was a real turn-on.
277
00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:56,607
Oh, my God, you wouldn't believe his...
278
00:10:56,562 --> 00:10:57,862
No! Nikki, don't.
279
00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,441
Relax. I was just gonna
tell you about his penis.
280
00:11:00,399 --> 00:11:02,567
Wait. Are you two dating now?
281
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:05,843
Who knows? I am seeing him again tonight.
282
00:11:08,265 --> 00:11:10,866
So you're going on another date with her?
283
00:11:10,823 --> 00:11:11,889
No.
284
00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:13,778
But you're seeing her tonight?
285
00:11:13,764 --> 00:11:14,798
Yes.
286
00:11:14,819 --> 00:11:16,987
The night after you had sex with her?
287
00:11:16,962 --> 00:11:18,862
No, man, I'm just gonna go pick her up.
288
00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:20,382
We're gonna get some drinks, some dinner,
289
00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:21,516
maybe see a movie...
290
00:11:21,533 --> 00:11:23,534
Dear God, that's a date.
291
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:25,083
Well, well, well.
292
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:27,283
Look what I just found...
293
00:11:27,256 --> 00:11:28,657
pressed between the pages of a book,
294
00:11:28,664 --> 00:11:29,897
in an old antique box,
295
00:11:29,911 --> 00:11:32,880
buried beneath her grandmother's letters,
296
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:35,688
for the whole world to see.
297
00:11:37,073 --> 00:11:40,709
"...Nick, Josh, Kevin, Damian..."
298
00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:44,457
That, my friend, is a list of
all the guys Kim has banged.
299
00:11:44,362 --> 00:11:45,629
Of course it's not!
300
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,675
It's probably an old Christmas list.
301
00:11:47,656 --> 00:11:49,290
Hey! There's three "Daves."
302
00:11:49,287 --> 00:11:50,820
She has lots of cousins.
303
00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:53,723
Is one of them named "Guy in Italy?"
304
00:11:53,666 --> 00:11:55,467
Guys, I'm putting this back.
305
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,425
Okay? Even if this is what you think it is,
306
00:11:57,407 --> 00:11:59,241
it's none of my business.
307
00:11:59,229 --> 00:12:00,763
You're right, Danny. You don't know
308
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:01,831
she slept with all those guys.
309
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,118
Thank you, Ryan.
310
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:05,698
Yeah. Maybe some are just oral.
311
00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:11,858
Nikki, I've been thinking a lot
312
00:12:11,827 --> 00:12:13,561
about... this,
313
00:12:13,553 --> 00:12:14,786
and you know what?
314
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,735
Uh, you... are too good for me.
315
00:12:17,678 --> 00:12:19,912
Oh, you're so insecure and hopeless,
316
00:12:19,885 --> 00:12:21,752
I could just eat you up.
317
00:12:21,738 --> 00:12:22,738
Uh... huh.
318
00:12:22,761 --> 00:12:24,395
Yes, but...
319
00:12:24,392 --> 00:12:27,126
don't you think what
made last night so special
320
00:12:27,078 --> 00:12:29,912
was that it just happened the once?
321
00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:31,427
Not for me, it didn't.
322
00:12:31,426 --> 00:12:33,294
Okay. How do I make this clear?
323
00:12:33,281 --> 00:12:35,515
I just can't help but feel
324
00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:37,787
that to continue this relationship
325
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,958
might be gilding the lily.
326
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:41,657
Ooh!
327
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,790
I'm up for a good lily-gilding.
328
00:12:44,823 --> 00:12:47,024
Nikki, what I'm trying to say is...
329
00:12:50,513 --> 00:12:52,448
I want you so bad.
330
00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:57,838
Hey. I'm almost ready.
331
00:12:57,835 --> 00:12:59,269
Great!
332
00:12:59,274 --> 00:13:01,409
I thought we'd check out
this new Ethiopian place.
333
00:13:01,384 --> 00:13:03,352
Sure, whatever.
334
00:13:03,335 --> 00:13:06,170
Bet you didn't know I liked Ethiopian food.
335
00:13:06,117 --> 00:13:07,885
Never really thought about it before.
336
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:09,342
Man, there is probably lots of stuff
337
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:10,780
we don't know about each other.
338
00:13:10,784 --> 00:13:13,086
Is this about me being a slob again?
339
00:13:13,054 --> 00:13:14,688
What? No. No. I've just been
340
00:13:14,685 --> 00:13:18,154
thinking about all the
things I don't know about you.
341
00:13:18,074 --> 00:13:19,475
Like who's your favorite Beatle,
342
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:20,748
or where you went to middle school,
343
00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:23,462
or how many guys you've had sex with.
344
00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:24,381
What?
345
00:13:24,405 --> 00:13:25,572
Why do you want to know that?
346
00:13:25,588 --> 00:13:28,890
Well, it's just one of those
little factoids that couples share.
347
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:31,719
No. A "factoid" is...
348
00:13:31,663 --> 00:13:33,030
fish don't have eyelids.
349
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:35,839
Huh. Anyway, you tell me your number,
350
00:13:35,787 --> 00:13:37,622
I'll tell you mine.
351
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:38,810
I'm not gonna stand here
352
00:13:38,825 --> 00:13:40,692
and tell you how many guys I've slept with.
353
00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,513
Oh-kay!
354
00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:43,802
We'll write it down.
355
00:13:43,812 --> 00:13:45,913
Why can't we just go out and eat?
356
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,525
Because this is gonna be fun!
357
00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:51,040
A really neat way to start a date.
358
00:13:51,007 --> 00:13:53,074
Fine, if it'll shut you up.
359
00:13:58,072 --> 00:14:01,007
175?
360
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,183
When did you stop keeping that list?
361
00:14:03,188 --> 00:14:05,489
I was joking!
362
00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:06,791
You went through my stuff?
363
00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:07,835
What? No!
364
00:14:07,856 --> 00:14:11,292
I mean, I mean, yes, but... Yes.
365
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,654
So...
366
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:16,969
Ethiopian?
367
00:14:23,178 --> 00:14:24,846
I can't believe you and your brothers
368
00:14:24,842 --> 00:14:26,142
snooped in my apartment.
369
00:14:26,153 --> 00:14:28,420
Well, I can't believe you
hid that you're a slob.
370
00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:29,690
Well, maybe being a slob's
371
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,301
a part of my life I'm just not proud of.
372
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,701
But you're proud you kept
a list of your conquests?
373
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,834
And who's "Guy in Italy?"
374
00:14:35,807 --> 00:14:37,108
Well, if I knew that,
375
00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:39,420
don't you think I'd write it down?
376
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:41,456
Great. One day, I'm gonna be on that list.
377
00:14:41,435 --> 00:14:43,770
"Guy with Two Brothers."
378
00:14:43,738 --> 00:14:46,005
Does my number really
freak you out that much?
379
00:14:45,975 --> 00:14:47,175
It's not the number.
380
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,751
Okay? I'm freaked out
because all of a sudden,
381
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,762
I feel like I don't even know you.
382
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:52,907
Well, I guess we can't
sleep together tonight.
383
00:14:52,882 --> 00:14:54,816
I don't have sex with strangers!
384
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,635
Ha-ha! "Guy in Italy" would disagree.
385
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:18,337
What the hell is going on?
386
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:19,499
Shh! Keep it down.
387
00:15:19,515 --> 00:15:21,649
They're getting ready to roll upstairs.
388
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:24,126
You're shooting a movie in my apartment?
389
00:15:24,086 --> 00:15:25,987
Yeah, I rented it out to a film crew.
390
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:29,075
"12 Years a Sex-Slave."
391
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,378
That sounds like a porno.
392
00:15:30,386 --> 00:15:32,154
Danny, it's not a porno.
393
00:15:32,144 --> 00:15:34,439
It's the erotic adventures
of a lost little...
394
00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:36,720
Okay, it's a porno.
395
00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:38,951
You can't shoot a porno in my place!
396
00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:40,756
God, I can't believe I even have to say,
397
00:15:40,744 --> 00:15:43,679
"You can't shoot a porno in my place."
398
00:15:43,622 --> 00:15:45,823
That girl looks familiar.
399
00:15:46,627 --> 00:15:48,095
Well, she should.
400
00:15:48,099 --> 00:15:49,932
That's "Misty"... Hmm?
401
00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:52,223
Proud star of over a hundred movies.
402
00:15:52,191 --> 00:15:53,858
Good God, a hundred?
403
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,255
Yeah, and she's only been
in the industry six months.
404
00:15:56,219 --> 00:15:59,154
You've got to admire her work ethic.
405
00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:01,416
Wait a minute.
406
00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:02,765
Danny, what are you doing here?
407
00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:04,675
Aren't you supposed to be over at Kim's?
408
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,727
Ugh. We had a fight.
409
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:06,780
She knows we found the list.
410
00:16:06,802 --> 00:16:09,003
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
411
00:16:08,977 --> 00:16:11,345
I can get you Misty's autograph. Hmm?
412
00:16:11,311 --> 00:16:13,645
And you should see how she holds the pen.
413
00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:15,347
Oh, gross, Sheldon.
414
00:16:15,339 --> 00:16:17,406
What? She's a lefty!
415
00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:18,853
I'm going to take a shower.
416
00:16:18,857 --> 00:16:19,857
Uh, no, you can't.
417
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,580
They're shooting the shower scene next.
418
00:16:21,574 --> 00:16:22,640
But stick around.
419
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:23,660
There was a no-show,
420
00:16:23,684 --> 00:16:25,752
and they're looking for a ninth.
421
00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:28,852
So...
422
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:33,135
wanna go do it in the bathroom?
423
00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:34,518
No.
424
00:16:34,524 --> 00:16:35,757
I have the key to the tea shop.
425
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:38,304
You wanna go do it in that bathroom?
426
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,164
I'll pass.
427
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:40,224
Look, Nikki.
428
00:16:40,245 --> 00:16:42,614
We clearly don't have anything in common.
429
00:16:42,581 --> 00:16:43,681
All right, well,
430
00:16:43,699 --> 00:16:45,634
how about we go to the art gallery?
431
00:16:45,617 --> 00:16:46,784
Really?
432
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:49,102
Yeah. We can do it in the bathroom there.
433
00:16:49,071 --> 00:16:51,806
Cloth towels.
434
00:16:51,756 --> 00:16:54,357
Nikki, what I'm trying to say is...
435
00:16:57,544 --> 00:16:59,345
Which stall would you like?
436
00:17:00,326 --> 00:17:01,359
Wait! No.
437
00:17:01,381 --> 00:17:02,548
I'm sorry, but it's over.
438
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,631
Look, Nikki, I know this
is hard for you to hear,
439
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,945
but, well, I just can't do this anymore.
440
00:17:07,871 --> 00:17:10,071
Ryan, but... I don't understand.
441
00:17:10,044 --> 00:17:12,078
I've never dated anybody like you.
442
00:17:12,058 --> 00:17:13,559
I thought we had... Ooh!
443
00:17:13,562 --> 00:17:15,396
A fireman!
444
00:17:19,349 --> 00:17:21,650
See you lost your bodyguard.
445
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:22,820
Yeah.
446
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,168
Uh, I'm not gonna be
hiding behind her anymore
447
00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:27,070
so, look, man, if you're gonna hurt me,
448
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:29,021
let's just get it over with now.
449
00:17:29,005 --> 00:17:31,672
Whew. That works for me.
450
00:17:32,938 --> 00:17:35,706
Hold it! What happened between you two?
451
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,623
Uh, we... we just broke up.
452
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:39,906
You broke up with her?
453
00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:41,885
Maybe. Why?
454
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,091
Does that make you angry?
455
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,464
Dude!
456
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,671
She's awesome!
457
00:17:46,685 --> 00:17:49,421
I would totally hit that.
458
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:53,704
In a very respectful way, of course.
459
00:17:53,624 --> 00:17:55,624
Well, she's single now.
460
00:17:55,605 --> 00:17:57,206
Do you want her number?
461
00:17:57,205 --> 00:17:59,606
You don't think that would
make things awkward...
462
00:17:59,571 --> 00:18:01,672
between us?
463
00:18:02,736 --> 00:18:04,804
No, we're good.
464
00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:14,491
Oh. I'm sorry.
465
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:16,337
Did you forget to go through my hard drive?
466
00:18:16,324 --> 00:18:18,626
Look, before you slam the door in my face,
467
00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:19,995
I brought a peace offering.
468
00:18:21,983 --> 00:18:23,784
A room at the Four Seasons?
469
00:18:23,774 --> 00:18:25,875
But it's for tonight...
470
00:18:25,852 --> 00:18:27,486
a Thursday.
471
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:30,318
A-And it's not just a room...
472
00:18:30,265 --> 00:18:32,366
It's a suite.
473
00:18:32,343 --> 00:18:34,510
A junior suite.
474
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:38,501
I see you cleaned up a bit.
475
00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:40,348
A bit? This took me all day.
476
00:18:40,337 --> 00:18:42,571
Great!
477
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,977
Hey, you have hardwood floors.
478
00:18:44,939 --> 00:18:46,474
Look.
479
00:18:46,474 --> 00:18:48,409
I'm sorry about last night.
480
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:49,327
Whatever you did in your past
481
00:18:49,352 --> 00:18:50,619
is none of my business.
482
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:51,564
You're right.
483
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,158
I was just spinning out,
484
00:18:53,157 --> 00:18:54,324
discovering all these things
485
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:55,540
I didn't know about you.
486
00:18:55,555 --> 00:18:57,223
There's going to be all sorts of things
487
00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:58,384
we discover about each other.
488
00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:00,001
And some of them, we're not gonna like.
489
00:18:59,999 --> 00:19:02,200
Like the fact that you
have a cheap-streak.
490
00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:04,006
I just got us a hotel!
491
00:19:03,995 --> 00:19:05,964
Yeah. On points.
492
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:07,413
You weren't supposed to see that.
493
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,785
Besides it doesn't cover
room service, parking,
494
00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:12,019
resort fee, or taxes.
495
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,556
We're just going to have to be honest
496
00:19:13,556 --> 00:19:15,490
and accept each other for who we are.
497
00:19:15,474 --> 00:19:17,542
Agreed.
498
00:19:19,055 --> 00:19:21,957
So is there anything
else I should know about?
499
00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:23,401
Oh, let me see...
500
00:19:23,403 --> 00:19:26,339
Oh, I can't snap my fingers.
501
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,082
I secretly watch The Bachelor.
502
00:19:29,031 --> 00:19:32,166
Um... Hey! One of my legs
is longer than the other.
503
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,301
When I wrote down how
many women I slept with,
504
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,207
I lied.
505
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:36,466
I rounded up.
506
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:37,781
Aw. Well, that's okay.
507
00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:40,593
I actually did stop
making my list years ago.
508
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:44,260
We can stop being honest now!
509
00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:53,411
Danny, is Sheldon actually helping,
510
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,044
or is he just pretending to help again?
511
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,273
For your information,
512
00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:58,588
I am perfectly capable of moving a mattress
513
00:19:58,557 --> 00:20:01,859
and texting this chick,
Patty, at the same time.
514
00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:05,523
And I just called her "Fatty."
515
00:20:05,431 --> 00:20:06,966
You're good. Just keep going.
516
00:20:06,966 --> 00:20:08,100
But watch the walls, 'kay,
517
00:20:08,118 --> 00:20:10,218
careful with the painting...
with the painting!
518
00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:11,605
We got it, Danny.
519
00:20:11,548 --> 00:20:12,851
Hey, this is a really nice mattress.
520
00:20:12,799 --> 00:20:14,254
Why are you getting rid of it anyway?
521
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,333
Well, it's a, uh... a
funny story, actually...
522
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,040
Yeah! Yeah...
523
00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:19,437
I realized it's been,
what, five to seven years?
524
00:20:19,403 --> 00:20:21,604
So, time to get a new one!
525
00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:23,945
How is that a funny story?
526
00:20:23,912 --> 00:20:25,712
Well, it's not "ha-ha" funny.
527
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:28,337
Actually, while Danny was staying with Kim,
528
00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:30,694
I let a film crew shoot a porno on it.
529
00:20:30,658 --> 00:20:32,658
Okay. See? That's funny.
530
00:20:32,639 --> 00:20:33,906
I'm serious.
531
00:20:33,919 --> 00:20:35,720
Porn? Oh!
532
00:20:35,709 --> 00:20:36,276
Shower!
533
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:38,017
Shower! Shower!
534
00:20:38,011 --> 00:20:39,879
Shower!
535
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:42,234
You think we should tell him
what they did in the shower?
536
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,134
Probably not.
537
00:20:44,184 --> 00:20:48,734
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