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1
00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:07,034
That means cut them into really thin str...
2
00:00:06,949 --> 00:00:08,615
For the third time, I know.
3
00:00:09,765 --> 00:00:10,832
And yet, this is what you give me.
4
00:00:12,006 --> 00:00:14,240
How are these carrots?
5
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,951
Ah. Perfect. Delicate. Dainty, elegant.
6
00:00:15,881 --> 00:00:18,249
You can tell a man cut these.
7
00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:22,226
I have to say, seeing you
so upbeat and confident
8
00:00:22,126 --> 00:00:23,726
is really annoying.
9
00:00:23,664 --> 00:00:25,530
Well, thank you, Kim,
10
00:00:25,457 --> 00:00:27,557
but my therapist gets all the credit.
11
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:28,907
I mean, thanks to Sydney,
12
00:00:28,851 --> 00:00:31,418
I'm finally over my orbitagoraphobia.
13
00:00:31,317 --> 00:00:32,783
Which is?
14
00:00:32,726 --> 00:00:34,492
My surprisingly common
fear of revolving doors.
15
00:00:34,422 --> 00:00:37,190
Because of her, I may
actually use one some day.
16
00:00:37,081 --> 00:00:38,547
- Really?
- No. Let's be honest...
17
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:39,422
they are death-traps.
18
00:00:40,731 --> 00:00:42,966
Well...
19
00:00:42,878 --> 00:00:45,645
That party was a total pooch-screw.
20
00:00:45,536 --> 00:00:48,637
And not the good kind.
21
00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:49,913
You plan kids' parties.
22
00:00:49,858 --> 00:00:51,491
What could've possibly
gone wrong this time?
23
00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:52,761
Well, if I had to guess,
24
00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:53,975
things really went off the rails
25
00:00:53,926 --> 00:00:55,425
when the kids found the dead rabbit
26
00:00:55,367 --> 00:00:56,432
in the magician's hat.
27
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,907
Might not have been so bad,
28
00:00:58,857 --> 00:01:00,990
if the stampede of crying children
29
00:01:00,906 --> 00:01:03,274
didn't lead to a fire.
30
00:01:03,181 --> 00:01:04,913
Hey, uh, listen, Danny,
31
00:01:04,845 --> 00:01:07,546
do you think you could
hand out my business cards
32
00:01:07,439 --> 00:01:10,007
to your friends down at the courthouse?
33
00:01:09,906 --> 00:01:11,538
Unfortunately, most of my colleagues
34
00:01:11,474 --> 00:01:14,242
aren't in the market for housefires.
35
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:15,898
Come on, Danny, huh?
36
00:01:15,829 --> 00:01:19,164
Business has been slow ever
since the rabies incident.
37
00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:22,399
All right. I'll see what I can do.
38
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:23,598
- Thanks, buddy.
- Wait a second.
39
00:01:23,547 --> 00:01:26,448
Sheldon, these are just
your casket business cards
40
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:27,498
with "caskets" scratched out
41
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,054
and "kids' party-planner" written in.
42
00:01:28,991 --> 00:01:31,958
It makes it look like you bury children.
43
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,142
Well, if you want to pony up 10 bucks
44
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:37,484
for 3,000 new business cards, be my guest.
45
00:01:50,989 --> 00:01:54,425
Your Honor, clearly, the prosecution
has failed to make their case.
46
00:01:54,289 --> 00:01:55,888
I move for an immediate dismissal...
47
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:57,758
and, might I add,
48
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,348
I sincerely apologize once again
49
00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:01,817
for dinging your new Jaguar.
50
00:02:01,717 --> 00:02:04,518
It's not new anymore, is it?
51
00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:05,473
But that, of course,
52
00:02:05,432 --> 00:02:06,598
has nothing to do with this case.
53
00:02:06,553 --> 00:02:08,352
Thank you, Your Honor.
54
00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:09,347
Motion denied.
55
00:02:10,682 --> 00:02:11,682
If you'd like to write up an appeal,
56
00:02:11,645 --> 00:02:14,432
I'll consider it while
I drive home in the wreck
57
00:02:14,322 --> 00:02:16,935
that was once my beautiful car.
58
00:02:19,842 --> 00:02:23,045
Not that it matters, but he bought it used.
59
00:02:22,918 --> 00:02:25,583
Well, I always told
you, never leave a note.
60
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:27,845
It's a matter of integrity, Sheldon.
61
00:02:27,752 --> 00:02:30,686
Plus, there are security
cameras in the parking lot.
62
00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:32,837
Well, anyways, any luck
drumming up business
63
00:02:32,747 --> 00:02:34,380
for your favorite brother?
64
00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:35,849
Oh, yeah, about that.
65
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:38,023
No one needs any kids'
parties, and I asked everyone.
66
00:02:37,935 --> 00:02:39,769
You didn't ask me!
67
00:02:39,697 --> 00:02:41,597
And I have an eight-year-old
with a birthday this weekend.
68
00:02:41,523 --> 00:02:44,356
You do? W... well, that... that's great!
69
00:02:44,243 --> 00:02:47,177
So, I guess you're fine
with smashing my car,
70
00:02:47,062 --> 00:02:49,329
but when it comes to
a great party-planner,
71
00:02:49,239 --> 00:02:51,673
you keep that to yourself.
72
00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,544
I do not understand you, Mr. White.
73
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,333
I'm sorry, Judge.
74
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,961
I just never pictured you with children.
75
00:02:57,854 --> 00:03:00,188
Why? You don't think I
could be a good father,
76
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,330
just because I like to try kids as adults?
77
00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:06,502
Uh, Sheldon's Party
Planning at your service.
78
00:03:06,371 --> 00:03:08,338
The weekend's short notice...
79
00:03:08,262 --> 00:03:09,528
Good point, Sheldon!
80
00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:10,944
You know, if it's worth doing,
81
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,187
it's worth doing right.
82
00:03:13,097 --> 00:03:15,797
Well, I'm sure I can whip something
together for you, real nice.
83
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:17,124
Great! You're hired.
84
00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,400
Thanks, Judge.
85
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:19,681
I'm going to give your Tyke
86
00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:21,296
the best birthday party he's ever had.
87
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:24,798
Or maybe something that's
just average, but safe.
88
00:03:24,657 --> 00:03:27,091
Has he always been such a wet blanket?
89
00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:29,294
Pretty much.
90
00:03:29,204 --> 00:03:32,005
Well, if anything goes
wrong, I'll know who to blame.
91
00:03:35,577 --> 00:03:36,676
So, in the dream,
92
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,067
Alison was this beautiful gazelle,
93
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:42,639
and her boyfriend was a
strong, confident hunter.
94
00:03:42,494 --> 00:03:43,693
And what were you?
95
00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,279
Oh, I wasn't in it.
96
00:03:45,216 --> 00:03:47,450
Huh. I wasn't in my own dream.
97
00:03:47,362 --> 00:03:48,794
Is that normal?
98
00:03:48,738 --> 00:03:50,405
Ryan, I think we should try something new.
99
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:52,440
Something a little more personal,
100
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,156
and really get to the root of the problem.
101
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:55,252
One-on-one.
102
00:03:57,064 --> 00:03:58,197
Are you scared?
103
00:03:58,153 --> 00:03:59,752
Well, that, or excited.
104
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:02,758
I find the two very
difficult to tell apart.
105
00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:05,538
Okay. Great. Let's role play.
106
00:04:05,422 --> 00:04:08,223
Oh! Okay, um,
107
00:04:08,113 --> 00:04:09,912
but can I be somebody cool, like Bono,
108
00:04:09,841 --> 00:04:11,874
or that barista I
sometimes see with a tattoo?
109
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,394
He's bad-ass!
110
00:04:13,332 --> 00:04:15,599
You're going to be you,
and I'm gonna be Alison.
111
00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:17,610
I really think it should
be Alison and that barista.
112
00:04:17,527 --> 00:04:20,595
He just seems like a man
who plays by his own rules.
113
00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:22,173
No! Okay. I'm going to start.
114
00:04:23,355 --> 00:04:25,089
Ryan, we need to talk.
115
00:04:25,021 --> 00:04:27,021
Okay, let me stop you right there.
116
00:04:26,942 --> 00:04:29,876
Alison rarely talked directly to me.
117
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,960
Um, she also never used my name.
118
00:04:31,873 --> 00:04:34,406
You sad little man.
119
00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:36,440
Much better!
120
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:37,824
Don't let me talk to you like that!
121
00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:41,967
Okay, pretend that it's our
anniversary and I stood you up.
122
00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:44,568
Alison...
123
00:04:44,523 --> 00:04:47,090
This is unacceptable,
124
00:04:46,989 --> 00:04:49,923
and I feel like this
simply would not happen
125
00:04:49,806 --> 00:04:52,874
if you just gave me your cell phone number.
126
00:04:52,753 --> 00:04:55,119
No! Let me have it! I've cheated on you.
127
00:04:55,026 --> 00:04:57,026
I just got back from a wild night,
128
00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:59,315
getting pounded like a meat patty!
129
00:05:00,532 --> 00:05:01,799
Okay, um...
130
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,217
How could you do that to me?
131
00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:05,261
Is it because I didn't satisfy you?
132
00:05:05,178 --> 00:05:06,477
Because, if so...
133
00:05:06,426 --> 00:05:09,260
I can totally change.
134
00:05:09,148 --> 00:05:10,547
And not even just my behavior.
135
00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:12,960
If there's anything
physical you don't like,
136
00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,296
I will get surgery.
137
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,808
Oh, I'm starting to take Alison's side.
138
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:20,168
I mean, she ruined your life.
139
00:05:20,068 --> 00:05:22,568
You've never told her how you feel.
140
00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:23,570
You deserve better!
141
00:05:23,527 --> 00:05:25,459
Tell her! Tell her!
142
00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:27,117
You cold-hearted bitch!
143
00:05:27,049 --> 00:05:29,216
I'm not gonna let you
push me around anymore!
144
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:30,496
You act so tough,
145
00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,310
but you're just a scared
little girl, aren't you?
146
00:05:32,237 --> 00:05:34,772
Just a scared, dirty little girl!
147
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,336
You may have the fancy
degree and all the money,
148
00:05:38,257 --> 00:05:40,057
but we both know, deep down,
149
00:05:39,987 --> 00:05:43,121
you're nothing but a
two-bit, two-dollar whore!
150
00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,963
Wow!
151
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,053
I am so turned on right now.
152
00:05:46,968 --> 00:05:49,468
Oh, Alison would never say that.
153
00:05:49,369 --> 00:05:51,202
- Who's talking about Alison?
- What? I...
154
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,524
Alison who?
155
00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:04,894
See, the pattern of the tea leaves tells me
156
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,679
you're going to have a very long life.
157
00:06:06,605 --> 00:06:08,072
So, go ahead!
158
00:06:08,014 --> 00:06:09,746
Jump the Grand Canyon.
159
00:06:09,678 --> 00:06:11,411
And don't even bother with the helmet.
160
00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:15,645
What do you think you're doing?
161
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,204
Reading tea leaves for 10 bucks a pop.
162
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:20,574
Since when do you know
how to read tea leaves?
163
00:06:20,438 --> 00:06:21,971
Since I read this.
164
00:06:21,912 --> 00:06:23,045
It's been on the shelf here forever.
165
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:24,099
Ahh! See?
166
00:06:24,057 --> 00:06:26,057
I told you we had good books in here.
167
00:06:25,978 --> 00:06:27,844
Ah, my phone died.
168
00:06:27,771 --> 00:06:29,805
Well, just don't scare off any customers
169
00:06:29,725 --> 00:06:31,125
with gloom and doom predictions.
170
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:34,237
Relax! So far, everything's
been annoyingly upbeat.
171
00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:39,626
You'll fall in love with
a tall, dark stranger.
172
00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:41,091
Oh, wait. I read that wrong.
173
00:06:41,029 --> 00:06:42,996
It's "strangler."
174
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:45,785
But I can see by your leaves,
you're into kinky stuff.
175
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:48,172
Congratulations!
176
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,108
One vanilla chamomile.
177
00:06:50,028 --> 00:06:51,227
Straight up.
178
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,746
Wow. Hitting the hard stuff?
179
00:06:52,685 --> 00:06:55,519
I'm just worried about Sheldon
doing Judge Jones' party.
180
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:57,307
I mean, the guy already hates me.
181
00:06:57,232 --> 00:06:58,999
I told you not to leave a note.
182
00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:01,431
In the last month, Sheldon
has lost two snakes,
183
00:07:01,331 --> 00:07:03,064
exploded a helium tank,
184
00:07:02,997 --> 00:07:04,363
and slept with three moms.
185
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,876
Two of them...
186
00:07:05,815 --> 00:07:07,347
at once.
187
00:07:07,287 --> 00:07:08,553
Oh, no!
188
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:10,071
The customer who drank from this cup
189
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,843
has a fate worse than death awaiting them.
190
00:07:11,771 --> 00:07:13,871
That's my cup!
191
00:07:13,789 --> 00:07:14,888
Oh, this is yours?
192
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:17,733
You owe me $10.
193
00:07:21,905 --> 00:07:25,774
Good news! I just locked in the best
magician in the city for this party.
194
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,151
That's great,
195
00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:28,392
but I thought you said he wasn't available.
196
00:07:28,341 --> 00:07:30,575
Well, no, we're in
luck. He's out on parole.
197
00:07:30,487 --> 00:07:35,022
I just hope he doesn't make the
judge's silverware disappear.
198
00:07:34,842 --> 00:07:37,010
Sheldon, just remember, okay,
199
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:38,724
this kid is very high-maintenance.
200
00:07:38,653 --> 00:07:39,785
He's got asthma,
201
00:07:39,741 --> 00:07:40,774
he's got a nervous bladder,
202
00:07:40,735 --> 00:07:42,534
and he's allergic to peanuts.
203
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,764
That can be really serious.
204
00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:47,774
I guess I better cancel
that peanut tower I ordered.
205
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:50,151
Ah, he's got fingers, he can pick 'em out.
206
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,052
We'll make it a game.
207
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,197
Okay, this is bad. Real bad.
208
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,325
Wh... what's wrong?
209
00:07:54,279 --> 00:07:57,380
I just made out with my therapist.
210
00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:58,458
Sydney?
211
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,211
She's way out of your league.
212
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,007
Actually, for me,
213
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:04,334
the issue was more that she's my therapist,
214
00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:05,773
but thank you, Kim.
215
00:08:05,713 --> 00:08:06,945
I'm proud of you. How was it?
216
00:08:06,898 --> 00:08:08,898
It was awful.
217
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:10,986
I mean, making out with your
hot therapist on her desk
218
00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:12,534
while her patients wait outside
219
00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:13,802
in the middle of the afternoon?
220
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:16,618
Okay, it was pretty great.
221
00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:19,172
I can't believe this.
222
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,599
She is so far out of your league!
223
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:23,107
We get it, Kim.
224
00:08:23,005 --> 00:08:24,004
Well, I'm just happy to see
225
00:08:23,966 --> 00:08:25,765
that all your years of therapy
226
00:08:25,695 --> 00:08:27,029
are finally paying off.
227
00:08:26,976 --> 00:08:28,675
Yes! But what now?
228
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:29,675
I mean, is she my therapist?
229
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,866
Is she my girlfriend?
230
00:08:30,819 --> 00:08:32,352
I am so confused!
231
00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:33,957
And aroused.
232
00:08:35,494 --> 00:08:38,629
And it says here you'll
be winning $20 soon.
233
00:08:38,504 --> 00:08:40,237
By the way, that'll be $10.
234
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,756
Nikki...
235
00:08:43,693 --> 00:08:46,259
Hey, about that whole "fate
worse than death" thing.
236
00:08:46,157 --> 00:08:47,390
You were just messing with me, right?
237
00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:48,808
Absolutely.
238
00:08:48,751 --> 00:08:50,285
You're not driving home tonight, are you?
239
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,625
Here, just try again.
240
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:53,996
Tell me what you see in those.
241
00:08:53,939 --> 00:08:55,239
Good idea.
242
00:08:55,189 --> 00:08:56,922
I probably didn't even read it right.
243
00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:58,787
Santa Maria! I really
should get back to work.
244
00:08:58,711 --> 00:08:59,710
Nikki!
245
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:00,905
Okay, relax.
246
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:02,723
We both know I can't tell the future.
247
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,550
I thought that woman
248
00:09:04,475 --> 00:09:06,608
was gonna be reunited
with the love of her life.
249
00:09:06,525 --> 00:09:09,126
Richard? I thought you were dead!
250
00:09:09,023 --> 00:09:11,923
Oh! I missed you so much!
251
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,816
Hey, can you give me a ride a home?
252
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,587
Maybe you should take the bus.
253
00:09:21,703 --> 00:09:23,537
Danny, don't overreact.
254
00:09:23,465 --> 00:09:25,631
Everything's gonna be fine.
255
00:09:25,546 --> 00:09:28,547
Overreact about what?
256
00:09:28,428 --> 00:09:30,395
Look, my magician is slightly delayed.
257
00:09:30,318 --> 00:09:32,351
There was a little
hiccup with the drug test,
258
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:33,937
but it's gonna be fine.
259
00:09:33,872 --> 00:09:35,272
Actually, Sheldon, you're right.
260
00:09:35,217 --> 00:09:36,849
It is gonna be fine,
261
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,519
because thankfully, I
believe in backup plans.
262
00:09:39,635 --> 00:09:41,069
Ta-dah!
263
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:43,147
The "Amazing Andy" at your service.
264
00:09:43,063 --> 00:09:44,528
Here's my card.
265
00:09:45,528 --> 00:09:46,594
The three of clubs?
266
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,953
Oops, sorry. That's your card.
267
00:09:48,858 --> 00:09:50,825
Ta-dah!
268
00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:52,514
But I haven't picked a card yet.
269
00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:54,645
Oh, you will. I'm that good.
270
00:09:57,312 --> 00:09:58,845
What have you done?
271
00:09:58,785 --> 00:10:00,852
I was just taking precautions.
272
00:10:00,771 --> 00:10:02,838
In other words, you didn't trust me, huh?
273
00:10:02,757 --> 00:10:04,290
I made one call.
274
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:05,696
The Amazing Andy!
275
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,171
Oh, I know who he is.
276
00:10:07,111 --> 00:10:08,511
And he's got an amazing temper.
277
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:09,856
Apparently, he once
278
00:10:09,802 --> 00:10:11,669
slapped a kid for not
picking the right card.
279
00:10:11,595 --> 00:10:13,962
Son of a bitch!
280
00:10:13,868 --> 00:10:15,734
Okay, well, if your guy shows up,
281
00:10:15,661 --> 00:10:17,694
I'll just pay him... double.
282
00:10:17,614 --> 00:10:19,215
And gently send him home.
283
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,128
The Amazing Andy?
284
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,366
That's my magician.
285
00:10:23,316 --> 00:10:24,849
Magic Melvin?
286
00:10:24,789 --> 00:10:26,287
You're out of jail?
287
00:10:26,228 --> 00:10:28,362
I told you to stay off the East Side.
288
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:29,779
This is my turf!
289
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,285
What are you gonna do about it? Huh?
290
00:10:31,224 --> 00:10:33,091
Watch yourself.
291
00:10:34,971 --> 00:10:37,805
Break it up!
292
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,537
So...
293
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:46,423
So. What's new?
294
00:10:46,307 --> 00:10:48,307
Well, uh, let's see.
295
00:10:48,228 --> 00:10:50,261
I bought a ficus.
296
00:10:50,181 --> 00:10:53,783
I painted the guest room.
297
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,273
Oh, and I kissed my new therapist.
298
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:57,711
That's never happened before.
299
00:10:57,611 --> 00:10:58,776
So, the guest room,
300
00:10:58,732 --> 00:11:00,032
did you go with the wedgewood blue,
301
00:10:59,981 --> 00:11:01,647
like we discussed?
302
00:11:01,582 --> 00:11:03,015
Seriously?
303
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,426
Ryan, what you think
happened didn't happen.
304
00:11:04,368 --> 00:11:07,369
Oh. So I need more therapy than I thought?
305
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,715
No, it happened, it just
shouldn't have happened.
306
00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:09,924
It was a mistake.
307
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,042
So kissing me was a mistake?
308
00:11:11,957 --> 00:11:13,289
I'd prefer to call it
309
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:15,172
an extreme case of emotional transference.
310
00:11:15,096 --> 00:11:16,362
So we should never talk about it again?
311
00:11:16,312 --> 00:11:18,045
Please.
312
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,845
Tell me about your ficus.
313
00:11:19,772 --> 00:11:21,838
Interesting story.
314
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:22,955
I was looking for a festive plant...
315
00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:27,763
Sydney? Sydney? What's wrong?
316
00:11:27,648 --> 00:11:29,182
I'm in love with you.
317
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:32,723
What? Oh... this is confusing.
318
00:11:32,579 --> 00:11:34,312
No one's ever kissed me like that before.
319
00:11:34,244 --> 00:11:36,377
But I thought that didn't happen.
320
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:37,628
Oh, it happened.
321
00:11:37,575 --> 00:11:40,876
It was like your tongue entered my soul.
322
00:11:42,794 --> 00:11:44,729
What are you saying?
323
00:11:44,653 --> 00:11:46,051
I can't stop thinking about you.
324
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,598
I want more.
325
00:11:47,535 --> 00:11:50,067
Really? Well, I...
326
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,934
I guess we could make out
on the couch for a while,
327
00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,190
but I'm confused,
328
00:11:53,138 --> 00:11:55,104
am I still paying for this session?
329
00:11:55,027 --> 00:11:56,593
No, you don't understand.
330
00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:58,166
If we're going to be together,
331
00:11:58,102 --> 00:11:59,400
I can't be your therapist anymore.
332
00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:00,950
Dammit! There's always a catch.
333
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,988
Ryan? What do you say?
334
00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:05,673
Give me up as your therapist,
335
00:12:05,563 --> 00:12:07,329
and we can get out of here right now,
336
00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:09,594
and we can do whatever we
want to each other, forever.
337
00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:12,978
Ryan?
338
00:12:12,929 --> 00:12:15,062
I'm thinking! I'm thinking. Aww.
339
00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:17,445
What were the choices again?
340
00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:19,280
Nice goin', Houdini.
341
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:21,037
I'm gonna kill you!
342
00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:24,188
Well, way to go, Danny,
343
00:12:24,104 --> 00:12:26,071
you just made two magicians disappear.
344
00:12:27,337 --> 00:12:29,204
What are we going to do?
345
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,870
I can't hear myself think
over these damn kids.
346
00:12:33,743 --> 00:12:35,042
What are you doing here?
347
00:12:34,992 --> 00:12:36,926
Helping out my brother.
348
00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:38,049
You have a really nice house.
349
00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:40,536
Where'd you park?
350
00:12:40,435 --> 00:12:41,735
Way down the street.
351
00:12:41,685 --> 00:12:42,984
Good.
352
00:12:44,438 --> 00:12:45,571
When's the show gonna start?
353
00:12:45,527 --> 00:12:46,558
Oh, don't worry. No.
354
00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:48,353
We are just moments away.
355
00:12:48,282 --> 00:12:50,149
You'd better be.
356
00:12:50,075 --> 00:12:52,909
The kid had to have his birthday
on the week that I have custody.
357
00:12:55,645 --> 00:12:58,180
This party sucks. I'm outta here.
358
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,213
What? You can't leave!
What about the judge?
359
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,763
Well, he can go ahead and sue me.
360
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,664
You know, that's the beauty
361
00:13:02,627 --> 00:13:05,327
of incorporating in Taiwan.
362
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:07,220
Oh, come on, Sheldon, I need you.
363
00:13:07,142 --> 00:13:08,574
Well, maybe you should've thought of that
364
00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:10,352
before you stabbed me in the back.
365
00:13:10,281 --> 00:13:12,081
You're right. I should have trusted you.
366
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,210
Sheldon, please,
367
00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:16,356
you've got to help me.
368
00:13:16,268 --> 00:13:18,201
Okay. Fine.
369
00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:20,727
You're a jerk, but I forgive you.
370
00:13:20,624 --> 00:13:22,224
I'll, uh, I'll make some calls.
371
00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:23,726
Thank you.
372
00:13:23,665 --> 00:13:26,666
But first, we're gonna
try and stall those kids.
373
00:13:26,547 --> 00:13:27,879
How? They already went through
374
00:13:27,828 --> 00:13:29,862
their goodie bags and ate most of the cake.
375
00:13:29,782 --> 00:13:31,748
"Happy Birthday...
376
00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:33,338
Kid"?
377
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:35,506
So? I forgot his name.
378
00:13:35,418 --> 00:13:38,086
But those are the best cakes money can buy.
379
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:39,312
The kids love 'em. Listen...
380
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:42,311
... they're all squirrelly on sugar.
381
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,605
Or they're drunk!
382
00:13:43,552 --> 00:13:45,719
"Deluxe double-rum cake?"
383
00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:47,833
Come on, I mean, seriously,
384
00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:50,347
how much booze can there
be in one of these things?
385
00:13:53,479 --> 00:13:55,645
Some kids can't hold their cake.
386
00:14:01,764 --> 00:14:03,096
Oh! Thank God, you're here.
387
00:14:03,045 --> 00:14:04,245
Did you bring the candy?
388
00:14:04,198 --> 00:14:06,798
This should buy us some time.
389
00:14:06,696 --> 00:14:08,596
Look, that better not be
your health-food candy, Kim!
390
00:14:08,521 --> 00:14:09,753
We don't have time for your games.
391
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:11,440
I don't get it, it's just a bunch of brats.
392
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,471
How bad can it be?
393
00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:13,727
Pretty bad.
394
00:14:16,271 --> 00:14:18,171
It's like the "Walking Dead."
395
00:14:20,466 --> 00:14:22,232
Get back, hell-spawn!
396
00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:24,929
Well, that's it.
397
00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:25,884
I'm getting my tubes tied.
398
00:14:25,845 --> 00:14:27,278
Don't worry.
399
00:14:27,222 --> 00:14:29,355
Pretty sure all my sperm
just committed suicide.
400
00:14:29,272 --> 00:14:31,072
Ooh! Nice pipe.
401
00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:32,034
You think he'd miss it?
402
00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:33,127
Nikki!
403
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,815
- Please!
- Wait a minute.
404
00:14:34,747 --> 00:14:36,080
Looks like I've got a back-up,
405
00:14:36,028 --> 00:14:37,594
but he can't be here for 20 minutes.
406
00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,667
20 minutes? None of us may live that long.
407
00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,616
We've got biters out there!
408
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:43,761
What is going on?
409
00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:45,380
These kids are getting restless.
410
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,049
If I didn't know better, I'd
say some of them are drunk!
411
00:14:47,941 --> 00:14:50,275
Drunk kids?
412
00:14:50,183 --> 00:14:51,849
Good one, Judge. That would be funny.
413
00:14:51,784 --> 00:14:52,916
Listen.
414
00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:54,805
Just relax there, Judge. Take a seat.
415
00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:56,629
Have a shot of cake.
416
00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:57,521
The show is about to begin.
417
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,498
What are you doing?
418
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,696
We don't have a show.
419
00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:03,514
Wait a minute.
420
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:05,574
I think I might have another idea.
421
00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,922
Do any of you ladies
422
00:15:06,866 --> 00:15:09,366
know anything about entertaining children?
423
00:15:09,268 --> 00:15:10,368
I do.
424
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:11,957
Other than "Spin the bottle."
425
00:15:11,893 --> 00:15:13,259
Oh. No.
426
00:15:13,207 --> 00:15:16,442
Well, um, I used to date a mime.
427
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:17,913
Really? What happened?
428
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,284
Ah...
429
00:15:20,188 --> 00:15:21,654
You drove him to drink, huh?
430
00:15:21,596 --> 00:15:24,397
Shocking. Come on! You're in.
431
00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:27,888
- Kim!
- Ah!
432
00:15:27,842 --> 00:15:29,742
Oh, look.
433
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:31,534
She's walking a mime dog. Not bad!
434
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,132
Good lord!
435
00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:35,385
Those children are monsters!
436
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,701
That poor dog!
437
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,141
- Gah!
- Let me in!
438
00:15:39,082 --> 00:15:40,948
This is what I saw in her tea leaves!
439
00:15:42,059 --> 00:15:44,360
I guess those are the angry dwarves.
440
00:15:44,269 --> 00:15:45,535
Get her out of there!
441
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,886
Danny, wait. It's no use.
442
00:15:46,831 --> 00:15:48,764
You can't help her now.
She's as good as dead.
443
00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:50,588
We've got to move on!
444
00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:54,049
But, on the up-side, you're
probably single again.
445
00:15:57,543 --> 00:15:58,809
See? This is nice.
446
00:15:58,760 --> 00:15:59,926
Totally.
447
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,380
I mean, can you believe,
448
00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:03,555
just a few short hours
ago, you were my doctor?
449
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:05,934
And you were my incurable patient.
450
00:16:05,837 --> 00:16:07,203
Well, I prefer "long-term."
451
00:16:07,149 --> 00:16:09,649
And now, we're just two people on a date.
452
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,385
To new beginnings.
453
00:16:11,313 --> 00:16:12,744
Oh, before I forget.
454
00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:14,822
I had another really
interesting dream last night.
455
00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:16,438
Now, this one I was in,
but I had no fingers.
456
00:16:16,371 --> 00:16:17,671
What does that mean?
457
00:16:17,621 --> 00:16:19,254
You had no fingers?
458
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:20,489
No.
459
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,705
You know, I'm not gonna talk shop.
460
00:16:22,617 --> 00:16:24,951
I am not your therapist anymore.
461
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,358
Right.
462
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,932
But, as my date,
463
00:16:27,868 --> 00:16:29,835
how bad is the no-finger thing?
464
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,891
Ryan, I know all about your neuroses.
465
00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:33,640
Tell me about the real you.
466
00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:36,402
Oh. Well. Um...
467
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,357
That's pretty much it, actually.
468
00:16:38,276 --> 00:16:39,609
What about you?
469
00:16:39,557 --> 00:16:40,856
I thought I saw a guy in your waiting room
470
00:16:40,806 --> 00:16:42,272
eating pennies. What's his deal?
471
00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:44,114
He's out of his mind.
472
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,005
But I can't talk about that.
473
00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:47,619
Patient-doctor confidentiality.
474
00:16:47,562 --> 00:16:50,030
So.
475
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:53,133
I really like mid-century
modern architecture, don't you?
476
00:16:53,006 --> 00:16:54,906
Hate it.
477
00:16:54,831 --> 00:16:55,896
We made a huge mistake, didn't we?
478
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:57,122
I was just going to say that.
479
00:16:57,073 --> 00:16:58,639
I know, right? What were we thinking?
480
00:16:58,578 --> 00:16:59,978
I was just so turned on
481
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:00,989
by the way you stood
up to me in our session.
482
00:17:00,948 --> 00:17:02,414
But that's the thing!
483
00:17:02,357 --> 00:17:04,357
That is so out of character for me.
484
00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:05,611
I should have known.
485
00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:07,325
I mean, you're afraid of revolving doors.
486
00:17:08,985 --> 00:17:11,118
You said that was common.
487
00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:13,134
Oh.
488
00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:13,951
It is.
489
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:17,476
I've got to say, this is a big relief.
490
00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:19,874
I mean, we can finally
stop worrying about dating
491
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:21,543
and put another appointment
on the books for next week.
492
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,508
Ryan, I clearly can't be
your therapist anymore.
493
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:26,301
I'm too emotionally involved.
494
00:17:27,303 --> 00:17:28,702
I think I should
495
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,580
take a break from conventional
therapy for awhile.
496
00:17:29,544 --> 00:17:30,876
- What?
- Yeah.
497
00:17:30,824 --> 00:17:32,590
I was down at the tea shop this morning
498
00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:33,988
and there was a woman in
there reading tea leaves.
499
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:36,598
She told me I have a new and
exciting career in my future.
500
00:17:36,493 --> 00:17:39,193
She really seemed to know
what she was talking about.
501
00:17:39,086 --> 00:17:41,020
Wow.
502
00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:42,777
This is so sudden.
503
00:17:42,705 --> 00:17:44,238
I'm sorry. I wish there
was something I could do
504
00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:45,144
to make it up to you.
505
00:17:46,228 --> 00:17:48,028
Well...
506
00:17:47,957 --> 00:17:50,023
Do you think maybe "Alison" and I
507
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,809
could have one last moment together?
508
00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:53,302
Sure.
509
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:54,707
Now sit up straight!
510
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:57,818
I'm embarrassed to be seen with you.
511
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:01,554
Is that little boy I kicked okay?
512
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,938
Did they find his tooth?
513
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,080
No, but it wasn't a complete disaster.
514
00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:06,293
I grabbed some kid's ritalin.
515
00:18:06,242 --> 00:18:08,743
Looks like my weekend just got interesting.
516
00:18:08,644 --> 00:18:09,943
What are we going to do?
517
00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,592
I guess I could flash them.
518
00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:13,926
That's not going to work twice, Nikki.
519
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:16,366
Well, I guess you can say
goodbye to my law career.
520
00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:17,398
And my condo.
521
00:18:17,355 --> 00:18:20,356
And probably my hot girlfriend.
522
00:18:20,237 --> 00:18:23,105
Kim?
523
00:18:22,991 --> 00:18:24,256
Hey, wait a minute!
524
00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:26,007
I think that's my guy.
525
00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:27,269
We might pull this off yet, buddy.
526
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,117
But I need you to help me.
527
00:18:31,059 --> 00:18:32,958
Absolutely. Anything.
528
00:18:32,884 --> 00:18:34,485
Uh, Sheldon?
529
00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:35,654
I changed my mind.
530
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:36,906
I don't want to do this.
531
00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:38,155
Oh, come on, relax.
532
00:18:38,105 --> 00:18:39,905
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
533
00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:43,230
Wait a minute!
534
00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:45,199
You're the one throwing the knives?
535
00:18:45,118 --> 00:18:47,384
Well, yeah. We could get
the knife-thrower guy, too,
536
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,128
but that'd be an extra 50 bucks.
537
00:18:49,057 --> 00:18:50,423
What?
538
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,370
Should we put a towel down for the blood?
539
00:18:52,291 --> 00:18:56,126
Come on, you think the guys that
do this for a living are PhDs?
540
00:18:55,974 --> 00:18:57,940
I mean, how hard can it be?
541
00:18:57,863 --> 00:19:00,197
You can't even hold your fork properly!
542
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:02,839
Uh, I'm not throwing forks.
543
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:05,063
Why don't we use spoons?
544
00:19:04,971 --> 00:19:06,605
Come on. You're my brother.
545
00:19:06,542 --> 00:19:08,742
You think I'd do this
if I wasn't sure? Huh?
546
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:11,673
Trust me.
547
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:14,133
All right, Sheldon. I do.
548
00:19:14,035 --> 00:19:15,568
Are you crazy?
549
00:19:15,508 --> 00:19:16,741
It's okay, Kim.
550
00:19:16,694 --> 00:19:18,226
I trust Sheldon.
551
00:19:18,165 --> 00:19:20,399
I should have all along.
552
00:19:20,312 --> 00:19:21,811
Thanks, bro.
553
00:19:21,752 --> 00:19:22,951
Oh, I can't watch.
554
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,173
Don't worry, I'm filming it.
555
00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,682
Ladies and gentlemen...
556
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:27,619
I love you!
557
00:19:27,581 --> 00:19:29,413
... the wheel of doom!
558
00:19:38,339 --> 00:19:39,440
Oh! You're alive.
559
00:19:39,398 --> 00:19:41,564
Oh, and intact.
560
00:19:41,478 --> 00:19:43,478
Barely.
561
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,799
Man, I bet your thing turtled.
562
00:19:45,704 --> 00:19:47,337
Wait a minute.
563
00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:48,906
I only had three of these.
564
00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:51,010
Those little bastards.
565
00:19:56,606 --> 00:19:58,305
Your Honor...
566
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:01,740
I... I just wanted to say,
about the birthday party...
567
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,436
I know things didn't go exactly as planned.
568
00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:06,124
Really? My kid loved it.
569
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,453
With all his allergies,
570
00:20:07,399 --> 00:20:09,165
everybody treats him like he's frail.
571
00:20:09,095 --> 00:20:11,229
For the first time, he
felt like a normal kid.
572
00:20:11,145 --> 00:20:14,513
Let's see my ex-wife top that.
573
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,146
Yeah, you put her in her place.
574
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:21,222
Hey, it's the mother of my
child you're talking about.
575
00:20:21,073 --> 00:20:23,572
Of course it is.
576
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,441
So are we good about your Jaguar?
577
00:20:26,324 --> 00:20:27,857
It's just a car.
578
00:20:27,796 --> 00:20:29,929
Thank you, Your Honor.
579
00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:32,147
Be seated.
580
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:35,058
Proceed with your closing remarks.
581
00:20:34,939 --> 00:20:36,705
Your Honor...
582
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,535
Guilty!
583
00:20:38,461 --> 00:20:39,527
Next case!
584
00:20:39,486 --> 00:20:41,118
What?
585
00:20:41,054 --> 00:20:44,623
Someone took my pipe from my study.
586
00:20:44,673 --> 00:20:49,223
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