All language subtitles for Package Deal s01e01 The Dinner

That was
an amazing dinner.

You shouldn't have gone
to all the trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble.

And for dessert,
something simple...

a lavender-infused creme brulee
with a hard sugar shell.

Mm!

Now, I'll just
caramelize the top.

Impressive.

Not to mention sexy!

What about
the creme brulee?

It's okay.
I'll be hungry later.

Tonight
has been amazing.

Oh, this last month
has been amazing.

In fact...

I think it's time we take
it to the next level.

Ooh!

There's something I've
been wanting us to do.

Okay. Um...

Can we have a safe-word?

No! No. No, I want you
to meet my brothers.

Oh, good.

Sorry, Danny.
Meat emergency.

Ooh! Hey.

You must be Kim.

I'm Ryan. That's Sheldon.

It's really nice to...
"Meet" you.

What's going on?

I got 80 pounds of Chuck
I gotta unload.

Couldn't meet
my sales quota.

Can't you
do this later?

Sorry, dude.
Sales are down.

People are looking out
for their health.

Yeah, that's why
I've been eating salmon.

Are you serious?

You know how polluted
the oceans are?

Salmons are turds with fins.

Very romantic, guys.
Now get out!

Really nice meeting you.

So, those are
your brothers?

You're gonna
love them.

Sorry about
last night, Danny.

Meat is such
a cruel mistress.

Don't worry,
it took a little while,

but I got us
back on track.

It bet it was
my four-layer lasagna.

Who cares
about your lasagna?

It's the creme brulee
that gets them hot.

That's a culinary tool,
not a sex toy.

Gotta admit, you were right.

I told ya.
It's the fire.

Makes the chicks
all nervous.

They don't know why.

That fear turns into arousal.

There's nothing more masculine
than a flambe.

Look, guys. There's something
I need to talk to you about.

I want you to meet Kim.

Really? Again?

Do we have that much more
to talk about?

I mean properly.

Look, Kim is awesome.
Trust me, you're gonna love her.

Didn't you say that
about your last girlfriend?

"Snaggle-tooth"?

Brooke.

And "poodle-hair"?

Natalie.

And the Hebrew teacher
with the really bad skin.

Rivka.

And, frankly,
that could've been something

if you didn't keep
interrogating her

about her cleansing routine.

Come on, man!
Who uses bar soap?

Look, Kim is different, okay?

I think she could be the one.

One what?

You know, "the one."

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, little bro.

Are you trying to tell me

that you used
my creme brulee secret

to get into some kind
of a relationship?

I told you!

That was strictly
for getting you laid.

Look, I know how
disappointed you must be,

but sometimes
these things happen.

Look,
Kim is really special to me.

Fine, we'll meet her.

Who would like
a nice juicy t-bone?

Dude, those are frozen solid.

Don't worry.

This pound puppy isn't
just for melting the chicks.

Relax! Your opening statement
this morning was great.

It was thorough.

It was well-argued.

Very impressive.

Coming from you,
that means a lot.

You've worked with

some of the best
lawyers in the city.

Well, when you've been
in court as often as I have,

you, uh, develop
an eye for talent.

I was worried about
that statement.

You know, I've been
pretty distracted

by Kim lately.

Yeah. Love.

It makes you
temporarily insane.

You really were
listening to my opening.

The truth is,
I'm just nervous

to introduce her
to my brothers.

Why? Does
she have bad skin,

like that last
young lady I met?

No. She's great.

Then I don't see
the problem.

Well, maybe there isn't one.

It's just,
I really like Kim.

Oh! So you think
she could be the one, huh?

Well, maybe.

How do you know?

Oh, there are signs.

When you're with her,
your heart skips a beat,

when you're not with her,
you think about her,

wondering
what she's doing,

who she's doing it with,

following her at night...

Rooting through
her underwear drawer...

Allegedly.

- Oh! Yeah.
- Yeah.

The point is,

I'm sure your brothers
will come to like her.

Okay? But even
if they don't,

isn't it more important
that you and I like her?

Of course. Absolutely.

You're right.

You know,
you're a wise man.

Yep. Wise, but crazy.

Don't forget the crazy.

I'm so glad
we got to do this.

Dan talks about you
two all the time.

Who?

Dan.

You mean Danny?

She calls me Dan.

I named you Danny.

Mom let me!

So, where are you
from, Kimberly?

Well, I'm from
Los Angeles.

Really? Huh.

My wife and I
used to vacation

in Santa Barbara.

Oh. That must've
been nice.

Oh, sure, take her side.

He's divorced.

My ex is a surgeon!

Yeah. I sacrificed
everything

so she could
fulfill her dream.

I cooked, I cleaned.

I gave her my body.

Oh, yeah.

And what did I get
in return?

What was it again?
Right! She left me!

For the first gastroenterologist
who looked her way.

But I'm over it.

I'm really sorry.

Don't be.

He got
a huge settlement.

He was a househusband.

It's like a housewife,
but for men with no sack.

So, uh,
why'd you leave California?

You, uh, on the run?

Actually, I moved
to go to grad school

at u of t
and never left.

Would you like
the transcripts?

Yes. Have the school
send them directly.

Honey, you want
a drink?

-Yes.
-I do.

-Double.
-Got it.

So, Sheldon,
you're a meat salesman?

Yes. I prefer
"beef liaison,"

but, uh, there you go.

Listen, I got three dozen
cuts of sirloin in the trunk.

I can give you a sweet deal.

I don't eat meat.

Or things out of a trunk.

Huh. Danny didn't mention
that you were, uh, you know...

A vegetarian?

The enemy.

So, Kim,

what do you do when

you're not throwing yourself
at our brother?

Oh, I own a tea shop.

It's called "the loose leaf."

Oh? You sell coffee?

No, it's a "tea" shop.

But you should sell coffee.

Let me get straight
to the point.

What are your intentions
with our brother?

-Intentions?
-Yeah.

What are you, his parents?

Actually, our parents

passed away
when "Danny" was 12,

so, in a way, yes.

Of course.

He told me all about that.

I didn't mean it
in that way.

So you were just
being insensitive.

Who's thirsty?

- Here.
- I am.

I'll take two.

Oh. Two? Huh.

We have a drinker.

So she doesn't eat meat,
it's no reason to hate her.

You'll change your tune

once you've experienced

your first broccoli-and-cheese
dip Dutch oven.

Don't be shallow, okay?

I mean, she's well-educated,
her tea shop sounds really nice.

She could use
a little more ass, though.

First of all, don't look
at my girlfriend's ass.

And second of all, seriously,

don't look
at my girlfriend's ass.

Look, Kim
is awesome, okay?

She's fun,

smart,
goofy in a good way,

and she's into me.

Who knows
what she's into?

She's a raging alcoholic!

I'm sure
Kim has some good qualities.

Thank you!

Let's make a list.

No, let's not.

All right.
Kim. Pros and cons.

Vegetarian. Con.

That's not a con.
It's ethical.

Snob, con.

Bossy. Con.

How is she bossy?

She changed your name
to "Dan."

I like being
called "Dan".

Bad influence. Con.

Okay, pro...
she's from L.A.,

which reminds me
of my honeymoon.

And my failed marriage. Con.

How is she
in the old sackeroonie?

Okay, no,
this has gone far enough.

Con.

No! She's amazing.

Like no other woman
I've ever been with.

Slut. Pro.

Add it up.

'Kay.

I'll give her a "C."

A "c"? That's it?

Hey, that's not so bad.

You can get into
most trade schools with that.

Congratulations.

You're dating
the devry of women.

You know, I'm really
disappointed in you guys.

Kim? What are you doing here?

I have a little surprise
for you.

Surprise!

I didn't see
you guys there.

Really?
'Cause we saw most of you.

What if people had been here?

Sorry you guys
can't stay.

Don't make it
a late night.

Yeah. He's got
court in the morning.

Where does he
find these girls?

Wow. It's almost
like they live here.

Believe me,
be glad they don't.

You'd get sick of them
pretty quickly.

Now, come here.

You said you had
a surprise for me.

What's that?

It's nothing.
It's nothing, nothing.

I can see it says
"Kim" on it.

- Dan! Dan!
- Ooh.

"Kim." Ahem.

"Pros and cons"?

Yeah, we were just debating
the merits of Kim jong il.

And how he has
a small ass?

Well, that
and his brutal dictatorship.

"Vegetarian. Con."

"From California. Con."

"Bossy. Con."

What? You graded me?

Not me. Of course not.

My brothers did.

And you let them?

"Small head. Con."

Wait? What?
He did not run that one by me.

You were in on this?

Believe me, you would've
graded much lower

if I hadn't have here.

Worse than a "c"?

That can get you into
most trade schools.

Where are you going?

To learn computer programming in
my spare time.

That could've gone
so much better.

Because you
killed your wife.

Isn't that right?

No, it is not.

And I've been accused
of murder enough times

to know that is speculative.

He is right,
counselor.

Mr. white.

I believe
objections are your job,

not your client's.

Right. Of course.

Objection.

Speculative.

Sustained.

Good work.

Why don't we all take
a 10-minute break to regroup?

Sorry, Mac.
I'm a little out of it.

No need to explain.

Completely understand.

After what you did to Kim,

I can't imagine
what it must feel like

to live with
that kind of guilt.

Sorry we're late.

Did we miss
the beginning?

It's a trial,
not a movie.

Yeah, if
this was a movie,

that judge
would be hot.

Ignore Danny.

He's upset about Kim.

Ahh. Did you
explain to her

that a "C" is nothing
to be embarrassed about?

Yeah. I was a c-student
and look at me.

Look, Danny, if you really
want to win Kim back,

you've got to go all out.

I mean,
jewelry, flowers, clothes,

a Jaguar convertible
with faulty brakes...

That's a very
specific suggestion.

Sorry. Wrong list.

So, Nikki, you're here
for the sales position?

I'm sure not here for the tea.

Excuse me.

I'm not interested.
Take them away.

Got a problem with flowers?

No, I have a problem

with the person
who sent them to me.

Long story. I don't want
to bore you with it.

Thank you.

I had a fight
with my boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend, I guess.

We just had
very different views

on how our relationship
should work, you know?

Mm. Been there.

Got the restraining orders
to prove it.

Really? Against him or you?

Does it matter?
500 feet is 500 feet.

Excuse me.
Uh, just...

Throw it in the garbage!

No, wait.

It's so cute.

Find it a good home.

Sorry about that.

What'd this guy do?

Cut up your clothes
and throw you out on the street?

Yeah.

No! Nothing like that!

It's not even about Dan,
it's his brothers.

They're overbearing
and just weird.

They even graded me.

What'd they give you?

An "a,"
not that that matters.

Anyway, um,

I see here that you penciled-in
you're a presbyterian?

I actually would never
have asked you that.

Aw, gee,
and now if you don't hire me,

it'll look like
it was for religious reasons.

That could get ugly.

I got this one.

Listen, you asshat.

You bring one more
thoughtful gift in here,

I'll cut off your clothes
and throw you out on the street!

Nikki,

unfortunately, I don't think
this is gonna work out.

You mean,
because I'm presbyterian?

Hey, can you start Monday?

And she actually
had the nerve

to imply
that the three of us

have a dysfunctional
relationship.

To be fair,

we are sitting in a parked car
full of rotting meat.

I miss her.

Oh, boy. Here come
the waterworks.

Listen to me.

You're better off, okay?

Have I ever steered you wrong?

I mean,
for God's sake,

I'm the one
who potty-trained you.

Yeah, and you didn't do
such a great job.

Apparently, you're supposed
to lift the seat up.

Says who?

Look. It's okay
to grieve, Danny.

Sometimes,

it's the longest part
of a relationship.

I don't
want to grieve.

Look, Kim was
the best thing

that's happened to me
in a long time.

I know how you feel, buddy.

Look, I don't want to
lose this car,

but the only way I can recoup

the coin I shelled out
for all this meat

is the insurance money.

Everybody out.

Oh, crap. I left my wallet
in the glove compartment.

So, how did you

get Kim to come
down here anyway?

Well, I simply said
we need to talk.

How's Dan?

Have you heard anything?

Were they able
to save his leg?

What exactly
did you tell her?

He said
Dan was hit by a bus.

What I meant was,

your break-up
hit him like a bus.

You said he was
in intensive care.

I said
he intensely cared.

Danny is miserable, okay?

He's been laying on a couch
for days,

watching
a Julia Roberts marathon.

He actually made us
watch "eat, pray, love."

It made me
puke my lunch.

Sheldon! Is Ryan okay?

What are you
telling these people?

Kim? What are
you doing here?

What's going on?

Both of you
need to sit down.

This isn't an easy
thing to say,

but we have
some really bad news.

You two
need to get back together.

Glass of
white wine, please?

Could you lay off the booze
for 10 seconds, Kim?

Guys, please,
just let me handle this.

No, no, no.
We've got this.

Look, for some reason,
Danny seems to like you.

Now, personally,
I don't get it.

I do, but, you know,
I still have some issues.

And we're willing to put aside
our many, many problems

for Danny,

because
this is what Danny wants.

So? What do you say?

Huh? Should we take a shot?

Are you crazy?

So that's a "no"?

Why not?
What's the problem?

Honestly?

It's you. And you.

Oh! So now this is our fault?

Look, Kim,

I know it seems like

my brothers are really
involved in my life,

but they raised me.

I mean, Sheldon
gave up his dream

of becoming a rock star

just to put me
through law school.

Sheldon was going to
be a rock star?

No!

But he gave up
kidding himself.

Look, the point is,
they care.

Heck, they even wanted
me to impress you.

Remember that great dinner
we had the other night?

Ryan cooked the lasagna.

And the creme brulee
was Sheldon.

The fire makes 'em hot.

The fear turns into arousal.

I mean, I'm sure
you know the rest.

It's like I slept
with Sheldon!

You should be so lucky.

And you think
this is normal?

Now that I hear it...

Dan, you're a really great guy,

but I don't think
I can do this.

Wait. Kim!

He said
you might be the one.

You did?

Oh, yeah.

He kept repeating it
during "notting hill."

It was incredibly disrespectful
to Hugh grant's performance.

Look, Danny has never
felt like this before.

I want to hear it from Dan.

Kim, I think
we have something special.

I don't know where
any of this is going to lead,

all I know

is I've never felt this way
about anyone before.

I'm falling for you.

And he's just not willing
to let you go.

Okay.

Oh, Dan.

"Danny."

Fine.

I can do "Danny."

Come on,
let's get out of here.

Sounds great.

How about
some Chinese food?

Really, Ryan?

Oh. So that's
how it's going to be?

Just this once?

Okay. But no meat.

What? That's the whole point
of getting Chinese food!

Okay, fine, no meat.
Huh? Just pork.

How about that?
Is that all right?

Do you eat pork?

Nice.

I like the candles.

Are you trying
to tell me something?

Mm. Yeah.

That your place smells
like a meat locker.

Oh.

Come here.

Hello?

Danny?
My key's not working!

Oh, your brothers...

Don't worry.
I put the deadbolt on.

That's the most romantic thing
you've ever said to me.

You think he's okay?

Maybe we should
call 911.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

I hear signs
of a struggle.

I'm getting an axe!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0