Original subtitles

Nora: Previously on "moonshine."

- It was a mini stroke.

- I have taken a lover.

(growling snap)

- Ghosting, the art of disappearing to avoid

Having hard conversations.

Should be called chicken-shitting.

Colin: As of now, your full-time job is informant.

The finley-cullens are involved in a smuggling operation

And you're going to help me bring them down.

Ryan: Hey, asshole! Makin' moves on crystal!

(hard thud)

Oscar? Buddy? Colin: Let me out!

- I want us to work this out. - I want a divorce.

- I made a deal with jill leblanc. One shipment.

- And you're fronting this deal, how?

- You haven't told him about

Leveraging the moonshine, have you?

- Do you really not want me here?

I mean, do you hate me that much?

Tell me the truth. - I don't want you here.

("house of new o orleans" play)

♪♪♪

(eggs cracks)

♪ there is a house in new orleans ♪

♪ they call the rising sun ♪

♪ it's been the ruin of many, a poor girl ♪

♪ and me, oh, god, for one ♪

♪♪♪

(door clunks, pan rattles)

- (sighs)

♪♪♪

♪ if I had listened what my mama said ♪

♪ I'd be in harmony ♪

♪ being so young and foolish, poor boy ♪

♪ let a rambler lead me astray ♪

♪♪♪

(urine tinkles)

(flushes toilet)

♪ the only thing a drunkard needs ♪

(water rushes)

♪ is a suitcase and a trunk ♪

(leaves rustle in the wind)

♪ the only time he's satisfied ♪

(water burbles)

♪ is when he's all a drunk ♪

(water burbles)

♪ oh, yeah! ♪

(chain clinks)

♪ whoo-hoo hoo hoo ♪

(music ends)

♪ it's my life, it's my life ♪

♪ it's my life, my life ♪

♪ it's my life, it's my life ♪

♪ it's my life, my life ♪

Bea: Shut down 'til we replace the septic.

Pirate shit is what finally did us in, eh?

Didn't see that coming.

On the upside, if jill does take this place,

She'll be tits deep in finley-cullen crap.

(door creaks open, shuts)

- Good morning.

Well, granted, we aren't living our best-case scenario,

But this family will find a way.

Ken: Unless we don't.

- Uh, silver lining,

Lack of guests has freed up my schedule for baking.

Look, I know we've both said things we haven't meant

Over the last few weeks-- - no, I meant them.

- Wha...

- I have a season's worth of reservations to cancel.

Excuse me.

(footsteps recede)

- Great talk, mom.

(scoffs)

- If you're looking for emotional catharsis,

Come to the wrong port, starling.

- I wanted to thank her.

What she did, inviting daniel here,

It forced me to accept that marriage was beyond repair.

All those years of deceit.

- It's no way to live.

Not anymore.

- Dad?

(door creaks open, shuts)

♪♪♪

Colin: You can take the pantyhose off, ryan.

- Ha! You don't know it's ryan.

- One, I was there when you hit me, and two,

You're the only person I know with an otter tattoo.

(crystal giggles)

(pantyhose ruffle)

- You are good.

- Oh, I don't want those back.

- What is your master plan, exactly?

- Um, like we'd tell you.

- You don't have a plan, do you?

- We have an incredible plan. - Well, I hope so,

Because assaulting a police officer,

Forcible confinement, and kidnapping

Are all indictable offences,

Punishable with 20 years to life.

So.

(chip bag crinkles)

- Babe.

Okay, you know that I am 100% on your team,

But I am also in the prime of my hotness,

Like I don't even have to wear a bra right now,

If I don't want to. I am at peak boob.

- Agreed. - So, we can't go to jail!

I'm just beginning my life

And this here, it's not my fault.

- Well, it's not my fault, either.

I, I never would've hit him if you hadn't have dumped me.

I thought you guys were boning. - I only fake broke up with you

Because I was trying to protect you.

I did that out of love, you dumb-ass!

- I'm not a dumb-ass. - No, you're right, I'm sorry,

It's just, you know, you finally got us this apartment,

Which is amazing. - Yeah.

- But we can't start our beautiful new life together

Because it comes with a kidnapped freakin' cop.

Not a thoughtful housewarming gift.

(colin laughs) - what? What?!

- Ah, letting the pressure get to you. Turning on each other.

Seen it once; seen it a million times. Amateurs.

- Oh, well if you're such a sherlock,

Why are you here, tied up by a couple of amateurs?

- Just curious, how did you guys cover it up?

Let me guess, the old,

Dump my stuff in the sea and leave a note saying

I ended it all. Or did you go with the cliché,

Make it look like a robbery?

- Excuse me, I left something in my car.

(rock music plays)

♪♪♪

(garbage bag rustles)

♪♪♪

(bag rustles)

♪♪♪

- Ah! (laughs) yes!

(items clatter)

(spritzes)

(sniffs) who's the amateur now, bitch?

(bag rustles)

- What are you doing?

- Oh um,

I thought I'd put in a little overtime.

- I don't believe you.

- Okay, um, I was uh--

- Coming into work when you don't have to?

Putting in extra effort?

Even though we've been shut down?

It's so easy to just walk away at times like this.

Jump ship. - Wha...

- But you didn't.

You doubled down?

And it means so much.

- Oh, um...

(emotional exhale)

(sniffs) oh, my god, you smell so good!

You smell like hope.

- Are you okay, rhian?

- I'm fine.

(crying) I'm fine.

♪♪♪

(birds chirp)

(items clatter)

Lidia: Dad, hey...

Uh, I, I was thinking about it,

I hope I didn't say anything to upset you earlier.

(items clatter) - no. You helped me.

Really? Because you and mom seem--

Is everything okay?

Relatively speaking?

Where you going?

- It's just a little trip, hon.

Don't worry about me.

(door slams)

(engine starts and rumbles)

♪♪♪

(beer sloshes)

- You stole these from the shore club?

- Yeah, you gonna rat me out to your mom?

- My mom can suck it.

My dad wanted to take me back to new york

And she said I couldn't go. It's like her mission

To make everyone else as miserable as she is.

That your gf? - Why?

You jealous? - (scoffs)

I wish I could start this thing. Drive across the border.

- I'm workin' on it.

In new york they teach you mandarin;

Here, we learn life skills, like how to jack cars.

- (sighs) it's all about her.

Running away to nova scotia?

Why can't she just have a regular mid-life crisis

And inject her face with filler?

(engine turns over)

- This is finn bennett filling in for nora finley-cullen

On cove fm.

- Ugh, finn, no one wants to hear this shit

Except old ladies folding laundry.

- Let's go! (both laugh)

(tires squeal)

Michael: Yeah!

- Because I don't know when we're gonna reopen.

Oh, really? I ruined your dream vacation?

Of course, you can have your deposit back.

You can ask the new management.

Well, no one said life is gonna be easy, maude.

(phone slams) no! No!

Nope. Uh-uh! (phone slams)

My crystal ball is broken.

(phone slams)

(glass clinks)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(car whooshes by)

(paper crinkles) - mmm!

That, my friend, is what I call effective therapy.

(slurps drink)

Come on, it's crack in a cup. Teenagers live for this shit.

- Can I ask your advice on something?

Uh, it's like a dating thing. - Aw!

- Okay, never mind. - No, no! I didn't mean aw,

Like you're a puppy, I meant aw,

I'm surprised you're dumb enough to ask me.

- Yeah, I know your track record sucks, obviously.

- Well, happy to recycle my mistakes into advice. Shoot.

- Uh, okay.

How do you know if someone's like, "the one"?

- Okay, um, there is no "the one."

It is a lie people tell themselves.

Love is just chemicals squirting into your brain

Until you become literally crazy with lust for someone.

It's the lie our bodies feed us

So the human race doesn't expire.

- Okay, that seems like a messed up thing to say

To your 17-year-old nephew.

- If you want saccharine, you came to the wrong place.

We sell truth here at cove fm.

- So, uncle terry wasn't like, the one?

You guys weren't in love, or whatever?

- Um... That was, that situation is,

Um, there was a lot going on.

Complex things.

- Or you're just scared to tell him how you really feel.

I don't wanna be 30 and single.

No offence.

- I'm flattered you think I'm 30.

(soft radio music plays)

(keys tap)

(text message chimes)

(tires rumble, brakes squeak)

(door opens and closes)

- Be honest,

Has everything turned to shit since I showed up?

- It's hard to say. There's always a baseline

Amount of shit going on around here, um,

But yes, yes, it has.

- I think mom and dad might be breaking up

And that it's my fault. Oh, I just,

I never should've stayed. - Called it!

- What? - First to come up with a plan;

First to bail when shit hits the fan.

- Okay, wow, that's totally unfair.

- No, I think it's pretty accurate.

You've had one foot outta this place since you arrived.

- God, what more do I have to do to prove myself

To this deranged family? I've been all-in since day one!

Okay, day three.

- Lids, if things don't work out here for you,

You have a whole other life you can go back to,

A business, a home.

Dude, you can pull the ripcord anytime.

- You're right! - I am. Hell yeah!

Um, really? - Yes!

In the back of my mind, maybe I have had a plan b.

Maybe that's why nothing's been working out,

Why I keep coming up against resistance

From mom, rhian, eleanor,

It's because they can sense my heart hasn't been in it.

It's time to cut bait and not run, nor.

This is my home! (happy squeal)

- And that is my milkshake.

(door slams, engine rumbles)

I'm great, by the way!

Thanks so much for asking!

Come on, terry. Answer.

Colin: I don't think I can. It's too weird.

I've never done it before.

- Oh, don't be nervous! Relax!

It's me! Just breathe.

It's totally natural; there's no need to be scared.

- Okay. Could you talk?

I think it's worse when it's quiet.

- Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about how things went down.

I shouldn't have hit you; that wasn't cool.

- Don't sweat it, man. We're good.

All things considered.

(urine tinkles, happy exhale)

- Dude, fantastic aim!

- (sighs)

I don't wanna overstep,

But I'm concerned about you and crystal.

You ever heard of emotional abuse?

- Oh, crystal's my soulmate, which is handy

Since I have her name tattooed on my neck.

- She ever do anything intentionally

To make you feel bad? - No, never.

- She called you a dumb-ass.

- That was just a pet name. Like shit-for-brains,

Or man-child. You tease the ones you love.

- Yeah, you sounded pretty upset.

You ever spoken to crystal about how she makes you feel?

- No. She'd-- it'd be a thing.

- Yeah, I get it. You'd be walking on eggshells,

Hoping not to set off an emotional landmine.

Next thing you know, she's got a knife,

Forcing you to write her term papers, all while asking you

If you love mac and cheese more than you love her.

I've been there, man.

(grunts)

You aren't responsible for crystal's feelings, ryan.

You can speak your mind without feeling shamed or pressured.

Ah, ryan.

- I heard you, man, I'm just thinkin'.

- No, no... You know. (grunts)

- Oh, shit!

Didn't mean to leave you hangin' there, little buddy.

(pants rustle, belt jingles)

There we go. - (exhales)

Lidia: Hey, daniel, how's it going?

Actually, I don't give a shit how it's going

Since you refuse to take my calls to discuss the separation

Anyway, thought you should know

I just cashed out half our savings.

Think of it as symbolic.

My last tie in new york, and for a very good cause,

The moonshine's new septic system!

Anytime anyone takes a shit,

They'll have daniel bennett to thank.

Okay, that's it.

Kids say hello. Byeee. (happy exhale)

(loud rock music)

(water ripples gently)

(canoe scrapes on rocks)

(birds chirp)

♪♪♪

(saw rasps)

(axe thuds)

- Ever been on a spirit quest before, pup?

(wood cracks)

(psychedelic music)

I traded a weekend in cabin 6

For this peyote back in '84.

Fella told me if I was ever lost,

This would help me find my way.

(neil young whimpers)

Boy, am I lost.

♪♪♪

(leaves rustle)

♪♪♪

(waves lap)

(exhales)

♪♪♪

(foliage rustles) whoa...

♪♪♪

Whoa...

(fire crackles)

Whoa.

(exhales)

Secrets.

Bea and I promised to share everything.

Pain. Joy.

Radical honesty.

Neil young: But bea wasn't honest.

How does that make you feel?

- Rough.

Rough.

Ruff.

♪♪♪

- Whoa.

Whoa, I'm a dog.

Neil young: It's why you ran away.

I used to run away.

Who's a good boy? Know what?

Society isn't a good boy.

- No sir, no sir, no sir. It is not.

Earth is burning. Ethics run amuck.

Dog: It's a hostage situation.

They take you home, lock you up,

Make you do circus tricks just to eat.

And you ever get to touch road again

Without a leash around your neck.

- Oh, my god. I am a dog.

(small laugh)

(laughs)

Maybe we're all dogs!

(laughs)

How about I howl? Can I howl?

Neil young: It's your trip, ken.

(ken howls loudly)

(eleanor screams loudly) michael: Woooo!

- Ha, ha! Hell yeah!

- This is insane!

- I just wanna keep driving. Never stop!

Thelma and louise it, without the suicide pact.

- Who?

- Only the most fierce feminist classic movie of all time.

Renegades making a break for it.

- Man, that's sick. Woo!

(car whooshes by)

(siren wails)

(door slams)

- (sighs) bail. No sense in us both gettin' busted.

Just go. Go!

(seatbelt clicks, thumping)

Hey, uncle terry.

- That's ex-uncle, officer terry.

- Don't take the fact you're divorcing my aunt

'cause you slept with my other aunt, out on me.

- Who just ran out of the car?

- I didn't see anyone.

Have you been drinking, officer?

- No, but I think that you have.

Lidia: Driving drunk, without a licence,

In a stolen car, with a missing taillight.

Are you trying to throw your life away?

- Guess you should send me back to new york

Before I end up in jail. - (sighs) okay,

If you were me, how would you handle this?

- I'd realize my daughter's simply reacting

To the totally unfair and draconian rules I've created,

Apologize to her,

Give her my old car to make things right.

(clicks tongue) - oh, my god.

Believe it or not, I understand.

I've been in your exact same shoes.

- Bullshit.

- Grandma and grandpa were fighting,

I thought nobody cared about what was going on with me,

So I rebelled.

I, I just wanted them to see me.

I see you, el.

And I'm 100% here for you,

And this family, starting now.

- So, does this very touching moment mean

I'm not gonna be imprisoned in a fire-ravaged trailer?

- Phone.

- You're literally a one-woman police state.

- Mom? Rhian? Anybody here?

Oh, my god. Mom?!

El, call 911. - You took my phone!

- Shit! Here!

(emotional) mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

(birds chirp)

(footsteps thud on stairs)

- Okay, so um-- - it's another stroke?

- I'm not sure. - But she's gonna be okay.

- Look, I think we need-- - is she in a coma?

- Can I maybe-- - it's worse than a stroke?

- Webmd says it could be locked-in syndrome.

She could be fully awake but unable to move.

A prisoner in her own body.

Or it's the flu. - Okay.

- Your communication sucks. Say something.

- Your mother fainted, but so far, I can't tell why.

- Oh. (sighs)

- Was bea under any unusual stress lately?

- Hmm. - Define unusual.

- I'll mark that as a yes.

- Look, the best thing we can do is keep her resting

And wait for the test results to come back.

Rhian: Sure. Wait.

Story of my life. (sighs)

(footsteps recede)

- Where's dad? - I saw him leave this morning

With a canoe and finn's dog. He was super cryptic.

Wouldn't say where he was going.

- He usually holes up at his fishing spot

When he wants to escape.

- Well, he needs to know about mom.

- Okay, get up. We're hunting your grandpa.

- Can I not?

- I'll keep an eye on her.

- Okay, which way to the fishing spot?

- Jesus, it's like you didn't grow up here.

- (smirks)

(grunting, bag rustles)

- Okay, I know what his excuse is, but my gosh, ryan,

Do I have to do everything by myself?

- Babe, I think we need to talk about how we communicate.

Specifically, the way you communicate with me.

- Okay, you wanna talk about communication?

Hey, ryan, please help me with these heavy freaking bags!

(colin clears throat)

- I think we have a toxic dynamic.

- But they're garbage bags.

Like, they don't even have trash in them!

- Yes, but after we move the bags,

Can we move past this stigma

And realize that we have a dysfunction?

Which I think it's brought on by your family.

- Um... If anyone's family is dysfunctional,

It is your looney tunes family.

- Your mom treats you like dirt and you just take it.

- Oh, don't blame the abuse on the victim.

- I'm not! I'm just saying, how can you insult my family

When you come from five generations of thieves,

Smugglers and meth heads?

- Why? Why are you picking on me?

Okay, I just wanted to help. Like, I kidnapped a cop for you

And you won't help me with a couple of bags?

Like, I should be your, your ride-or-die,

Your person, your priority. (ryan's phone rings)

Oh, my god, are you gonna answer that right now?

You are, aren't you?! - No.

(silences ring) I'm not.

See, I choose you.

- Okay, thank you.

I'm gonna go get some smokes

And a fiesta cherry diet coke,

And pee in private.

You know what, my mom may suck,

But she did teach me one thing: Cops not our friends.

He's playing you, babe. Like an air guitar.

(door opens)

♪♪♪

- Bea knows how I feel about secrets.

So, why would she--

(psychedelic music)

Whoa!

She thought I couldn't handle the truth.

My head was in the sand.

I dug my own hole.

I forced her to lie,

And she pushed me away.

Whoa.

(psychedelic music)

I miss my wife.

♪♪♪

(collar jingles, neil young barks)

- Okay.

♪♪♪

(neil young barks)

(waves lap)

- (angry exhale)

(horseshoe clangs)

- Whoa! It's a game, not an execution.

(horseshoe clangs)

- You okay? - Stellar.

- Yeah, caught between living in new york

And a seaside resort.

It's a rough life. - Right?

- Maybe you should've been, I don't know,

Left in a cabin and adopted,

So you wouldn't have to deal with your biological parents?

- Pack your bags, we're goin' on a guilt trip.

- Oh yeah, we are.

- Grandma and grandpa are a cake walk compared to my mom.

- Well, parents do the best they can with what they've got.

- So, this is my fault.

- You feel guilty yet? - Six out of ten.

- You know, your mom forgives you, el,

For all your bullshit.

She just keeps on loving you, so I don't know,

Maybe you should think about forgiving her?

- How 'bout this,

If I make this shot, I'll forgive my mom.

- Okay.

(horseshoe clatters)

- Good talk, uncle sammy.

♪ don't pull your love out on me, honey ♪

♪ take my heart, my soul, my money ♪

- Oh, here you are.

♪ but don't leave me drownin' in my tears ♪

- Hey.

- Hey, you were supposed to be here three hours ago?

- Sorry.

- Do you believe in magic, listeners?

Not sure I do, but here's another classic.

("painted ladies" by ian thomas)

- You have a sexy radio voice.

♪♪♪

- This one goes out to finn bennett,

Who has no idea how hot he is. - (chuckles nervously)

♪ I remember setting out ♪

♪ just to see what I could see ♪

(song plays on radio, engine rumbles)

- I thought you said you knew where dad's fishing spot was?

- I know how to get there by canoe.

- Well, should we check google maps?

- Yeah, sure put in um, dad's drug hideout,

Or creepy beach in the woods.

Maybe if we concentrate,

We can pick up on his passive-aggression.

- This is all my fault.

- God, not this again.

- I said something to dad about marriage and deceit.

I was talking about daniel, for god's sake,

Then he got all weird.

(brakes screech) oh!

Do you have to pee? Watch out for ticks.

- Do you seriously think your off-hand musings

Broke up mom and dad's 40-year marriage?

The sun doesn't rise and set with your flat ass.

- My ass is not that flat.

- Do you have any idea what's going on with anyone

Other than yourself?

Do you realize how selfish your martyr schtick sounds?

Other people are suffering, okay?

- Nora, hey. - Terry won't talk to me.

The station could be on fire and he wouldn't take my call,

And there's nothing I can do about it. Not that you care.

- I'm not psychic! You can't be closed off

And then get mad if I don't understand how you feel.

- When would I have told you? You never shut up!

- At least I'm trying!

What are you doing other than dumping on me?

(collar jingles)

- Is that finn's emotional support dog?

(gravel crunches)

♪♪♪

- Is that...? - Dad?

- Oh! No! Oh! - Oh, my eyes! My eyes!

Dad! No, don't move! - Don't move, dad!

-I do not need that. - No.

- You're right, my dude. Crystal puts pressure on me

And when you pressurize something,

It makes you feel small, and I don't wanna be small!

I wanna be big!

- Wow, that is an amazing breakthrough.

I'm so proud of you! - Really?

- Yeah! Uh, but these,

These bungee cords are really cuttin' off my circulation.

- Here, let me.

- Now, my only concern is,

Now that you've had your breakthrough,

- Mm-hmm. - Once you share it with crystal,

She's gonna try to isolate you.

Keep you from your family.

- Shit. Lidia!

She left a message.

♪ a compromise would surely help the situation ♪

- What? - My, my mom is sick.

- Oh, you gotta go to her.

- But crystal said that I need to--

- Dude, I'm not gonna try to escape

While your mom is sick. I'm not a monster.

Your family needs you. Go!

♪ the things we do for love ♪

- Go! - Okay, thanks, buddy!

- Run! - Just make yourself at home!

- (sly chuckle) yes.

♪ the things we do for love ♪

♪ the things we do for love ♪ (oh, oh)

♪ the things we do for love ♪

♪ the things we do for love ♪ (oh, oh)

♪ the things we do for love ♪

♪ the things we do for love ♪ (oh, oh)

- So, are we like...

Together now?

- Yeah, sure. If you want.

(music stops)

(record skips)

- Oh, shit!

(footsteps shuffle)

(record clatters)

("I'm not in love" by 10cc plays)

(laughing)

(door creaks open)

- Where is she? How's mom?

- She's sleeping.

She is stable and they're running tests.

- Oh man, that I am thankful for.

- What's up?

You never drink, which is weird.

Probably why I had to drink twice as much.

(laughs)

Anyway, what gives?

- Nothing, it's nothing.

I don't exist.

Without this place, who am I?

- My twin sister?

- Born two minutes after you,

And then they don't even care enough to come up

With two different names.

Like, ryan, rhian.

Like, how lazy is that?

- It's pretty lazy, now that you mention it.

- (sniffles)

I thought he loved me.

- Dad? - No! Oscar.

I thought I finally found my person.

He liked my clipboard;

He didn't think I was too much.

I thought he really cared.

- He cares, and he didn't leave you,

I know that for a fact.

(bottle thuds on counter) - how do you know that?

- I just get a really good vibe from him.

Wherever he is.

- Do you know what happened to him?

Do you want me to get the faceless doll

I used to torture you with?

Oh, no. Oh.

(vomit splashes) - okay!

- (wretches)

- All right, just as minty fresh on the way out.

- (wretches) - (groans)

(trunk shuts)

- Jesus, finn, you had one job.

10cc? (music stops)

(sighs) - you okay?

- Well, we just picked up our naked father,

High out of his mind, in the woods. Mom is sick.

I'm stuck with my self-absorbed sister, and my nephew

Has pathologically bad taste in music.

- Neil young says you should turn the music back on.

- When the dog drives,

He can choose what's on the radio.

- Can you drive?

- Dad, you won't remember this, but mom's sick.

- Neil young says you should drive faster.

- Okay, dad.

(engine starts)

(rock music plays)

(tires crunch in dirt)

(birds chirp, waves crash in the distance)

- Rhi? That oscar, you should know.

- Hmm. - He's out there.

I can feel it.

So, maybe just hold on and wait a little bit longer.

- I'm so sick...

- Dude, you just chugged a whole bottle of crème de menthe.

- Of waiting!

Like, my entire life,

I have followed the rules.

Waited for permission.

(slams glass on counter)

It all ends here.

- I will support you, no matter what.

Whatever you need.

- What I need?

Is a shovel.

- What?

- Screw the permit for the septic.

Someone's gotta fix this shit pit,

And as per usual...

(rock music starts)

...It's gonna be me.

(doors slams open)

- (sharp exhale)

♪ hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

(shovel slams into dirt)

♪ hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

(effort grunts)

♪ hey-hey-hey! ♪

♪♪♪

♪ hey! Hey! ♪

♪ hey-hey-hey! ♪

♪♪♪

Nora: There you go. I know. Okay.

(footsteps shuffle)

- Bea? Bea?

♪♪♪

- You're an ass.

- I know.

- I might be an ass, too.

- Yep. (laughs)

- (chuckles)

- (sighs)

Sammy: We have a problem. - Mom had another stroke?

- No, dr. Roth called,

Turns out mom's just allergic to her blood pressure meds.

She's gonna be fine. - Oh, thank god.

- And he doesn't wanna be her doctor anymore.

- Problem solved. - No, problem not solved.

Um...

How much do you two know about drug smuggling?

- (deep inhales)

(fire crackles)

- And then, the drug boat got spooked

And they dumped the container.

- So, the mother that wouldn't let us have sugar

Or white bread 'til we were adults,

Is a drug smuggler.

- And we're her unwitting accomplices.

- I volunteered, actually.

- How long have you known about this?

Since the wedding?

Oh, since before I threw away my life savings

For the privilege of going to jail.

(scoff) oh my god, longer?

- Lidia, I, I, I promised mom--

- Oh, yeah, the woman whose medical experts

Are dr. Merlot and nurse du maurier?

- How screwed are we, sammy?

- Either we find the drugs

From the bottom of the ocean

Or we come up with the money to pay jill back.

- And if we don't?

- Jill takes the moonshine. - Jesus.

- That's why dad left. Mom didn't tell him either.

- So, while I spun my wheels trying to figure out

What was going on, trying to save this place.

You are my people, sammy. - I know! I'm sorry.

(fire crackles)

(footsteps thud away)

- Don't be too hard on him.

He is hard-wired to give mom whatever she wants,

And to not disappoint you.

Think of it as blind, stupid love

With a side of armageddon.

- Love.

Of course.

(fire crackles)

(chuckles, then laughs hysterically)

Oh my god.

- Okay, so this is what a psychotic break looks like.

- None of this is my fault. - Oh, sweet jesus!

- Mom wasn't inviting daniel here and ignoring my plans

To rebuild the moonshine because she hated me.

She was trying to protect me.

Mom loves me! (laughs)

- So, you're counting this as a win?

Gucci doesn't make prison sandals, princess.

The finley-cullens are drug smugglers.

You still all in?

(crickets chirp)

(knock on door) lidia: Jill, you there?

It's lidia. Jill: Come on in.

(jam drips)

The look on your face tells me you know

What your ol' mom has been cookin' up.

- Sammy told me everything. (bag thuds)

Does 150k solve our little problem?

- Missing container's worth five times that on the street.

- I know, I will get you the rest.

This is just to buy us time.

- Lidia finley-cullen.

Didn't know you had it in ya.

- Hip new york mom turned backwoods criminal mastermind.

Who says people don't change? - (chuckles)

I tried to change myself.

Retired from the business.

It wasn't meant to be.

Your mom begged me to save the place.

Played on my heartstrings.

"it's what felicia would've wanted."

And now I've got bikers up my ass,

And they will make me pay, one way or another.

I'd hate to have to evict the discount brady brunch

From camp parasite, but as you can see,

I got no choice. - Yeah, you do.

You could make the nice choice. Don't you wanna be nice?

Get christmas cards, party invites?

- And if you can't fix this?

- You can take the moonshine.

And keep my savings for your troubles.

My kids don't need a college education. Overrated.

- You got 24 hours.

- Come on, be reasonable. We need at least a week.

- Three days, then I kick the circus outta town.

Got it? - Got it.

- Oh, and lidia...

Spread it on an english muffin with butter.

It's heaven.

Finn: So, if anyone sees john green's runaway ostrich

Named pablo, please call him.

But do not approach pablo.

Ostriches are vicious and you will lose an eye.

Now, time for another hour of non-stop music

That will make your heart go boom.

(record static)

("peace" by peter plays)

- Are you trying to run my station into the ground?

We won't have any listeners

If they all coat-hanger their eardrums.

It's like you're in love, or something.

Oh, god, are you in love, or something?

- (sighs) you gonna lecture me again

On how relationships suck?

- Okay, scram, you've done enough damage for one day.

- You're the best. - Mm-hmm, go on.

- Oh, and uncle terry's really lucky.

♪ peace is harmony ♪

- Okay, um...

♪ love and understanding ♪

♪ oh why can't we have peace ♪

♪ can't we have peace all the time ♪

♪♪♪

(door crashes open) - oscar!

Oscar! (door slams shut)

Oscar!

(whimpering) oh, no, no, no!

♪ that hangs on the breeze ♪

(door clicks open, shuts)

♪ watching the world hurry by ♪

♪♪♪

(traffic whooshes)

♪♪♪

(waves crash)

- I'm not gonna lie,

I thought you finally threw in the towel.

- (sighs) I considered it.

- So, there were insights beyond the veil.

- While you were putting out fires,

I had my head in the sand.

- Ken stop. - No. (sighs)

I've been living in a fog of good vibes and pot.

(sighs)

Too much pot, maybe.

We can't keep living like this.

- What are we supposed to do?

- (sighs)

We can start with the truth.

Lidia needs to know why you've been standing in her way.

- Does it even matter anymore?

There's a real chance we're gonna lose this place.

But I suppose she deserves to know that, too.

Fine.

I'll talk to her.

- (tired exhale)

♪♪♪

- Ugh!

(shovel thuds, effort grunts)

♪ I'm going back to new orleans ♪

♪ to wear that ball and chain ♪

(hard thud, sludge gurgling)

♪ I'm going back to new orleans ♪

(tree cracking)

(thunder rumbles, claps)

♪ I'm going back ♪

♪ to spend the rest of my days ♪

♪ beneath the rising sun ♪

♪ beneath the rising sun ♪

(thunder claps repeatedly)

♪♪♪

(rain patters gently)