Original subtitles

Terry TORDAI, Harald LYAYPNITS Glenn Saxon

in film

MS MISTRESS TOO Pipes in mountain

The film stars: Jacques Erlen, Paul Levinger, Rudolf SHYUNDLER

PRAC Rudolf Ernst Waldbrunn

Andrea RAU, Poldi BENDANDI, Rosalba Neri

Hannelore OUER Elizabeth FELHNER

and Willie MILLOVICH

producer Franz Antel

Eighteen hundred fourteenth year ...

Lady Luck is fickle.

And she decided to turn away from the Napoleon.

Emperor staggered.

Star it started to sink ...

... And I opened the naked truth.

Napoleon met on the other side of the coin ...

... And he was very sound, it rolls down and movement is irretrievably.

- Give us always! - Always arises?

"Always climbing" '- it was something like a battle cry.

The soldiers began to behave independently ...

... After their troops We were able to overcome a lot of countries.

Scattered groups of soldiers of the victorious and the defeated armies roamed everywhere in search of overnight ...

... Food ...

... And other needs.

In Pomerania ...

In Alsace ...

Later I was on the ground! Later!

I let down your trousers, but not you!

And in the same way - in Hungary.

Devil soldiers pigs!

And in me, it's great!

How cute! Ideally!

Leave my stuff!

Keep it up!

- No, let me go! No! - On her bed!

Take off her skirt!

So you're saying that there were an actress. Right?

About Susan Del Ber say all the royal capitals of Europe!

Royal capitals no longer exists!

- Where are the rest of the mummers? - They ran.

We get together again as soon as possible will re-engage our "litsedeyskim" affair.

"With gratitude of Napoleon."

I did him a great service.

I can imagine what.

Let me go, bastards!

Look who we found! One of Napoleon sluts!

Now give it to the king.

He eats these "cats" for breakfast.

- And this one did? - He attacked us with shouts and insults.

- Even the thieving soldiers called us pigs! - But they rob me!

Well, hang it to know when to cover your mouth!

- Have pity! - Go!

Moved with compassion? Are you like him?

Its something !?

I just use men of different caliber.

- Including Napoleon, huh? - Yes...

- It is, of course, and he knew how to use. - How to use?

Send people to die slowly ...

... Until he somersaulted in bed with a woman.

No! No!

Napoleon was somewhat distorted, is not it?

If you only knew how much!

Well, I want to know!

- Not with the same hillbillies !? - Throw it in the neck!

You do it with me, as we did with Napoleon!

Oh well!

Tie it to the column!

Sabre, please!

And the gun too!

And the whip and ripe pears! Quickly, give me ripe pears!

- Oh, hot! - Patience!

And you - go!

Well, as you behave well and stay here until I get undressed.

When it comes right moment, I will tell you.

Yes, okay!

Well, this time I tasted the something other than plain old soup!

And I assure you, the new dishes You will flow salivating!

Stoney! Please do groan!

Do not torment me so, I beg you!

Yes, that's cute! Very cute!

Yes, it is now expired blood!

Give the last scene of "Sin-devil!"

With me over! Oh my God! Do not torment me so cruelly same!

Oh, that's good!

Already goose bumps!

Now I'll give you goose bumps, My precious!

- Take off your clothes back! - Oh yeah...

- Stand still! - Security!

How do you like it?

Let's go, quickly!

Hey! Where is he ?!

Hold!

After them! Take alive!

Catch them!

Fast! In the reeds!

Stand!

There, follow me!

They lost our trail.

Never mind.

- All matter is now ... - You are crazy?!

Be strong. The main thing now wait for nightfall.

Prober in Tours and find a doctor.

In Tours! It's very close!

Do you remember this little town, so that you liked?

People are happy, the wine most delicious!

The inn Pandur.

Named after Elite Corps panduri ...

They are known wild warriors - It is the same as yours, Ferdinand ...

inn Pandur

Those days are gone! From the moment ...

... Baron Beshale I arrived from Vienna ...

... To take the place of Imperial control.

But they can not stop you from laughing or drink!

Can not ban love!

But it is much worse than a ban!

- Taxes! - It is a tax levied on all ?!

Yes! They are taxed wine, tobacco, playing cards, beautiful clothes ...

- ... And even love fun! - Tax on the love ?!

Yes, even them!

For all the fun!

Fortunately, they do not consider marital duties for pleasure.

But ... what are they doing with all that money?

They plan to buy up all the county Tursa.

It is unlikely! Too small!

Two months later, I have to put the requested price on the table Grand Duke!

And then I'll be fit three conditions for the purchase of ...

Money and morals!

As well as marriage to a woman noble blood.

Yes!

And then I have to make a graph Tours!

Balthazar!

Baron will Beshale Count Tours!

Since you called me today the hotel ...

... Can you say who you are?

- Why the hotel is closed? - Because of its exiled owner.

Shunned tax that it ruined.

And not easy to find an idiot, who would take his place.

And all of this Committee decency! But personally, I will not spy for tax collectors!

Say, the hotel is closed ?!

- That the Committee decency or stranger. - Open up!

Come with me!

Open the same, for God's sake!

Finally!

Bed, quickly! She injured.

- Who is it? - Strangers.

I have no idea who they are.

My friend, I would like to know everything, what is happening in these parts.

- Yes, but I ... - And you'd better forget that I was here.

- Thanks for the information, and good-bye! - Yes Yes...

- She's a bullet in the back. Call the doctor! - No need!

I am doctor!

Quickly, bring me a brandy!

Bandages!

Where do I find them ?!

Remove the shirt!

Fortunately, not stuck too deep.

I ask you to...

Well...

Now you can tie. And I have an urgent call.

- What payment, Doctor? - Let's talk about it later!

Good luck!

Anxiety!

Committee integrity! Hurry! Hurry!

The act of adultery! Adultery!

Adultery!? Without my permission ?!

Where? Where did it happen? Come on! Come on!

In Pandurene. Rather, at the inn "Pandur"!

Ferdinand?

- What happened with me? - Now everything is all right, Susan.

They commit adultery on the second floor!

- Clear! - They were there two ...

We need to find out to a dot what they are doing!

Without complete information, I can not determine the price of a fine!

- Clear! Let us find out all the details! - Sergeant!

- Open the door! - Will be done!

That's done! I ask you to!

Go!

- Wine !? - I wanted to make sure!

Wine! This - the wine!

Leave, Sergeant! It's - evidence!

Fireplace, candle ... And this at a time as a hotel should be closed!

And that's all - Dodge paying taxes!

Come on! Look up!

Here! Naked man!

Naked man! Excellent! You've been caught red-handed!

Since you ten thalers in addition to the twenty that you pay for adultery!

What else adultery?

- Listen to me... - Discuss here absolutely nothing!

immediately pay thirty thaler fine!

- Sergeant! Take his penalty! - What am I?!

- Yes! - Well, well, well!

Not so, he and naked.

- Immediately pay a fine! - I'm not going to pay your damn taxes!

He had to resist!

Take him!

Grab! Keep it up!

Do not let him go ... However, he does not go away!

We need reinforcements! And now!

Beware, oh! Beware!

The damned rascals!

The man arrested for the act adultery, during which time he was caught red-handed!

Hey! What do you have in mind under the "act of adultery"?

"The act of adultery" - this is when unmarried man is caught ...

This can not continue! This man - my husband!

Let him go, if you do not want To break the law.

Law? And what you do We arrived here in Thurso?

- I heard that this hotel is sold. - Yes, it's sold!

- Want to be the owner of the hotel? - Yes!

My mother was inspired by Goldoni.

You can now become owner of the hotel, if you pay me a hundred!

- Eighty! - But it's our last savings!

- Hundred! - Eighty!

Excellent! The hotel is now yours.

The remaining twenty-thaler They will be credited to our account Baron remarkable.

You gave him credit ?!

Then I want fifty percent every month!

In addition, Your Excellency, we will be able to collect taxes from them ...

For the wine, with the snaps for tobacco.

You forgot taxes are not singing, dancing and dirty jokes.

For Steamy - even more so!

We will be able to collect for all, when the city will open the hotel again.

- It's - a gold mine! - Yes Yes!

- What are we to do? - You're only one.

The case of the laundress, Marika.

Crank it!

Accused Marica!

Respectable our lady Apollonia found her for an act of gross indecency!

No! I just took a bath!

Just take a bath? But the main thing, where you take a bath!

It was customary trough I used after washing.

- And how was your body? - What it was clothed?

- My body!? - Show me how you were dressed!

In this way you take a bath?

In what, then?

- Like this! - Yes...

But because I was one! I swear, I was completely alone!

I ask you to believe me, Monsieur le Baron!

Besides me there was no one there!

I took a bath!

We need to do a test ... Medic! To conduct the test for virginity!

Loss of virginity is taxed 10 thaler.

Plus - the penalty for cheating!

Let's get started!

I have only two thaler.

If your lover - married man...

... You will be beaten in the town square!

And your lover castrated!

This is now a swamp of immorality! City Tursa!

These defects are flocking from all over the world!

But most will not be here no illegitimate children, nor drunkards!

She's a virgin, a doctor?

I can not help, sadly, Baron!

But the virginity of girls absolutely intact!

Since you are still a fine thaler for the dirty act of taking a bath!

How much this brings your committee?

Your Excellency, I can assure you, that all our informants working, tirelessly!

You have heard that Panduri hotel today opened again?

Yes, and its new owners will be in the end the same as the previous!

Again we will have to drink in secret!

Tax on alcohol!

TAX Tours

I can not resist!

She wears underwear! One thaler - the luxury tax!

TAX Tours

Tax on tobacco!

Tax fornication!

- Such is now the case in Tours! - Previously, it was different!

Yes, but it was before! When the county owned Baron von Trenc ...

... That's when you can live!

And what happened?

Trenc died.

It is said that his grandson moved to the Russian, to fight against Napoleon.

... But here no one has ever seen him.

What are you thinking?

About foreigner that was here last night.

Earl, what are your orders?

Do not ask me about it! We are no longer fighting against Bonaparte!

Yeah, well ... But what purpose we then now serve? Where we go?

In Vienna you a pin head!

I want to know if they have a chance Trenc regain their rights!

Go away!

All this is only a dream!

But it is reality!

List of taxes!

Taxes on wine is higher than it is in itself It can cost!

Yes! That is why the previous the owners of the hotel and went bankrupt!

Susanna, we'd better leave!

But what about the eighty thaler that you gave for the hotel !?

You yourself have invested all our savings in the "best" deal!

Well, this is too much!

Ten thaler fine for that touched one little town Dorothea!

- To which the little town? - And what would you have touched her?

You want to know what it is? Just a second!

Let's not! Should I call the this place, and I was again fined!

You imagine it !? They are now confiscated all tobacco delivery!

Here you go, Mr. Pharmacist! Do not take my inventory?

Thank you!

Tax on tobacco!

I throw!

Well, that's your right.

It really is the last straw! They publicly removed from your daughter!

- What is it removed? - Panties!

Tax on underwear!

Take them! Clean!

- We can not take it anymore! - But what do we do ?!

I know what to do! Ferdinand!

Take off the hotel sign!

Why take it off?

Say, if you're clean enough now?

Would you like to go to my house and to take a bath?

I would rather die of hunger, than go to your home!

And you're sure to die of starvation, because no one else in Tours decides you at work!

I arrest you for vagrancy, and then from hunger you die behind bars!

Where better to lose her virginity - in prison or in my house?

Stop it, young man! Stop it!

- Good job! She was arrested! - For what?

She does not work! She wanders, that's what!

Not at all! She - the maid in my hotel!

You need a place where you could feel free to drink, smoking pleasure, and ...

... And various other!

But you will eventually go broke!

Not at all! This will be a gold mine!

- But with so many taxes ... - Oh, who they care about?

- We will not pay anything! - But how? - How are you going to do?

Just trust me! And that's who this?

- What's your name? - Marika.

It - Marika! Our maid!

Now - listen carefully!

Firstly, our hotel should now labeled differently.

From now on it is called "innocent lamb"!

"An innocent lamb" !?

Faster! Prayer has already begun!

- Hurry, Matthias! You are waiting for! - Yes...

You're late for our prayer!

You will have to do penance!

Please take me posurovey!

You will spend one hour a basement!

Thank you!

Sister Agnes is waiting for you.

And remember, Matthias, be very righteous man!

The only thing I will do is the same as they do with his wife in a marriage!

Yes, how dare you, you wretch!

Cast into hell!

Long live the "innocent lamb"!

Long live! For the fact that we returned the joy of life!

Have you ever thought about what would happen, if here burst Committee decency?

- Everyone knows what to do then. - So, you think they still come?

Hotel thrives?

I have the most accurate information from our trusted agent ...

Ms. Apollonia says that the "innocent lamb" - as it is now called the hotel ...

... Constantly full!

Oh! Good!

Always crowded? And no taxes?

This is suspicious! Either the black market, or tax evasion!

Sir, there must be immediate ransacked!

Surprise them! Expose them! Oshtrafuem them!

And money - here!

It remains quite a bit of time, when the Grand Duke will come to the wedding, and I need money to buy Tours!

Money - here! Here! Here! Here!!!

It is the abode of innocent lambs ...

... Lambs frolic cuter kittens.

And if you want to hide the lambs ...

... There is always a place ...

... Where it is not banned from playing.

Your penance lasted much longer than the designated one hour!

- Well, who is now ready to repentance? - I!

No, I do!

OK dear! What are you waiting for?

Sister Dorothea!

- She already is! - Have fun of repentance, my brother in faith!

Thank you and bye!

Behind me!

- What's going on here? - Nothing! What should happen?

Here, all according to the rules!

Anxiety!

Quickly put on capes!

- Did not you see our sign? - Yes Yes! Innocent Lamb - your sign!

Men have no right to come here! Go away!

What are you talking about!? Or you do not know, Who am i?

I apologize! You come take part in the prayer?

I have come here to raise taxes!

Taxes? And for that we have to pay them?

- That's what! - For that!?

- It's milk! - Well, of course!

And milk is not taxed.

Arrest all Woman, who at least in some measure not a virgin!

And semi-virgins, and a quarter-virgins!

Forward!

Where's the whore?

Oh, excuse me, dear sister! Yes, here it turns out, some chaste person?

- Search the whole building and immediately! - Good!

- Go away! You heard? - We are gathered here to pray!

You take the right flank!

Forward!

Anxiety! Anxiety!

- Be careful! - What happened?

Gains from the Committee of decency!

Stay here!

- Oh, excuse me! - Sergeant, check the barrel!

- Yes, that's it! - What do we do?

Do not be afraid!

- Milk! - I can see for myself that the milk!

Try the stupid sergeant!

This one! Open!

Mo ... Milk and cream!

Oh yeah!

Faster!

Faster, otherwise it will not work!

I knew it! Here it is! Here!

- And so it proved! - What exactly?

You see - I've been churning butter.

- And scream about speed? - Scream, of course!

Yes! The sooner - the is better!

- What do you have up there? - There we have room sinners.

We call it so because, that send to those who have repent of their sins.

- I want to check it out yourself! - You are welcome!

Damn!

There, at the top, did not hear the alarm ?!

You want to go?

- Something is wrong? You feel bad? - There!

- What is it? - The two men on the bed!

But no one was there! You have a hallucination!

This is certainly a temptation of the devil! Say three times: "Begone, Satan!".

- What for? - I tell you - you are cursed!

Begone, Satan!

Begone, Satan! Begone, Satan!

- Oh, thank God! - What? Something happened?

- You drank the elixir? - Elixir?

What elixir? The one who makes the devil show us our secret desires so, as if they are real. All is not so! You're lying to me! I saw two people involved adultery on a bed ...

You saw on the bed two commit adultery?

- Yes... - This is your secret desire!

Shame on you? I will have to inform the Baron!

Do not. I do not see anything.

- Do not you hear the signal of the pipe? - We got to talking and did not hear anything.

I'd like to hear this discussion!

Mr. Secretary!

Fireplace! Look!

It looks suspicious!

- What is there? - Mr. Secretary ...

This fireplace is designed so that through it you can escape!

I know it! I'll check!

- Well! We won! - What have we won?

You won a strong kiss!

COFFEE "IN VIENNA"

I heard it myself! Straight from the mouth of his personal!

County Tursa ... It is run by the Grand Duke Celestino.

- Where can I find it? - In his palace.

At the moment, the Duke of Celestino not even deigned to wake up.

You can find him in the second half of the day playing cards in Belvedere.

Today, His Excellency unlucky in the cards, so he asked me not to bother.

- I just want to ... - Later! Later!

But after the coffee he can take you during Mass in St. Charles Church.

Yes, but His Excellency deigned go to confession. And it may take ...

... Given his lifestyle.

I just found out that the true passion of the Duke - Madame Fanny, prima ballerina.

- Careful! - I beg you, maestro!

Please give these flowers Fanny with a note from His Excellency.

Hmm!

Hey! Excuse me, but I will. Do not bother!

Thank you!

A note...

"I will come tonight, as usual.

- Kiss "! - Kisses ...

You can go now!

Mademoiselle! Will you let me?

- I must tell you - it is something! - It's not my fault. It's in my family.

- I do not even know your name. - Call me a "favorite" and I respond!

- Wuhu, Treasure! - That the Grand Duke!

- Why did not you say that it will come? - Because he's the man I need!

Scoundrel!

- Come on, Tsaker! Put all there. - Will be done...

- Treasure! Where are you? - In bed!

Ah, wonderful! So, we eat later.

- Tsaker, undress! - Oh, to undress ...

I'm an idiot!

Excuse me, Your Excellency!

- But you can not! - Thank you, Tsaker!

The rest I can myself.

Treasure!

- What?! You are here why !? - I decided to afford.

You - a scoundrel, dirty pig!

- Tsaker, remember it! - Of course...

You misunderstood everything. I just want to talk with the Grand Duke.

Well, say so!

Valeriano, Baron von Trenc.

Nonsense! All Trenc now ...

- What's with them? - They died.

- They died! - Nothing like this!

I am here with a request to return to me, that belonged to Trenc.

Alas, my dear boy! Alas! Tsaker that I was there just promise ...

... To a military supplier? How is it, do you remember?

I remember. Routh, who is also - Beshale!

Ah, the brewer? The ancient noble family!

He gets hold of Tours, if it can be even more noble.

- Like this? - Through marriage.

- Ah, through marriage with ... with ... - I have to say, I say!

Through marriage with Countess Panyani, which will be held in a month.

- She has a fortune! - But if he does not pay a million thalers ...

Tours ... he can not see.

- So, not to be seen! - Why?

For a month he will not neither the bride nor the million thaler.

How do you know that?

From there, I'll steal him, and then, Both, Excellency.

Treasure! And now, let me free you from my presence!

If you do not pay taxes, the hotel will have to close.

The "innocent lamb" do not drink, and hence the taxes to pay not for that.

What about that couple, Make love?

It was a hallucination your secretary!

He drank a special elixir ...

... That the secret desires of the people It makes the seemingly real.

Ah, the elixir !? I would like to look at him!

Are you sure that there is no risk show their secret desires?

I have no secret desires!

So! Either you will bring me ten thaler daily, or closes!

- But, Your Excellency ... - I made myself clear!

And pick up a decent four maids for my wife!

To be chaste, not whores! Virgins! Only virgins!

They will all be chaste, since you so wish!

Yes, this is what I want! As you can see, I have no fleshly desires.

So wrong!

And when you give me a chance stun the girl-Neat?

And then I'll be a real agent?

You will become the head of our trusted informants and will even get paid.

Good! I advise you, how to lure her into a trap.

Early in the morning she goes with her husband to the village...

... For milk.

Yes, my precious!

Let's go!

Get them!

Catch it!

Help!

- Release! - Well, now this chick cover!

- Hold her tight! - Let me go!

It will cost you dearly, the adulterer!

I am instructed to proclaim ...

... Tomorrow at 10 o'clock in the afternoon ...

... In the courtyard, a sinner Marika Gabor ...

... It will be put in the pillory - completely naked ...

... And will be beaten by a whip, at the time, both the adulterer castrated.

For punishment is obliged to observe the entire population of the city!

There is only one way to save tomorrow Marika and Ferdinand.

It is necessary to obtain a pardon from the Baron!

- This monster for what it does not sign! - Well, he's still a man!

And if we manage to drive his brain pants, then he will sign anything!

- It's not so easy to do! - Leave it to me!

But I need to assistants four of you ...

... Those braver, yes poreshitelney!

- I'm ready to do anything to save them! - And I! - I also!!!

- And I! - Calm down! We need only four.

And they must be ready to go even the most extreme sacrifices.

Do you think he will require this?

Our victory lies in the fact - make him beg us for a victim!

What's more, none of you does not want to go to the castle?

Think about poor Marika!

- I will go. - And I! - And I!

I also!

- Reeds have moistened in vinegar? - Of course!

In more acidic, than an old maid!

Even sour !?

Vinegar will make it even more painful punishment.

Yes Yes!

I'm sorry, sergeant, and you can you say about the wife of Baron?

No, he was a bachelor, but ...

It's a state secret, which I I have no right to speak!

What sort of state secret?

is our agent in their camp - our experienced spy!

What is currently being prepared?

The massacre of a sinner.

- And what to do with a man? - With him, then?

We Otobaya his hunting to women! He will not be able to indulge their desires!

And if before he acted, as the enraged bull-inseminator ...

... Now it would be harmless, like a calf!

Can not ...

You can not do this to me ?!

Accused of treason wife They should be castrated!

You must believe me! I'm not married!

You lie, you scoundrel!

The wife herself has declared itself, soon as you arrived in Thurso!

- It was just a deception to save me! - Enough!

Enough of this! Castrate!

Doctor, are you sure that the elixir will have the desired effect?

Yes!

- I have increased its power a hundred times! - What!?

When Baron drink it, it blood boil as soon a hundred ladies' men!

Then he lost his head and will sign the pardon!

I handed him the paper. And you go out to the balcony and state for clemency.

The main thing - to release the two men before he regained consciousness!

All should work!

- The law will be executed! - Well, we'll see!

Hold it! Hold !!!

- Do not do anything stupid! We'll save you! - Grab it! Grab!

Do not miss the ducky!

- Now you'll pay! - For this too?

Go! Bring him back!

You, too, were there for to say, if he had not married?

No, I just brought you blameless maids, Your Excellency.

- And you will not ask for clemency? - No!

It is useless, given that you We are not able to experience the joy intercourse with a woman!

You will not pardon a man, who knows how to have fun from the sorority.

- So, you think that I ... - Yes!

Your Excellency too chaste.

And all this only because, Your Excellency that the longer He has no success with women!

This is something I ?!

What nonsense! Yes, I could debit you all in a row - like this: bang-bang-bang!

If I wanted!

Just like in the fable "The Fox and the Grapes"!

I just know how to control themselves.

And what about your most secret desires?

I can easily drink your elixir without even blinking an eye!

Then - drink!

So let's see, who will then blink!

I'm sure if your self-control how the wind will blow.

- As soon as the mayor will come to the balcony ... - Yes I know!

We'll have to go and bring Marika Ferdinand from the tower.

But Dorothy does in the castle?

Here, I do not feel anything.

And I do not see anything.

Then I'll have to bow before your chastity.

In your place, another man I would have behaved like a dirty pig!

And you even our maids not seen naked.

How do you feel?

- You do not need to freshen up? - No no!

I have only a slight pressure.

But that's because I'm right in front of the portrait of his bride.

Hurry! Hurry! And, it is even, God forbid, will catch a cold.

Oh, and really there is such a need speckled meridians ...

... This beautiful map of the world?

At least, she did not see me. But I did see quite clearly very good.

And, in truth, I do not see anything ... Hey where are you? Where?

Well? Something is wrong, Your Excellency?

Ah, you are confused, that loosened the apron?

Of course, when tied - it looks neater.

It seems to me that you were sweating.

Yeah, right! This elixir is very much strong.

But I was expecting a different effect.

You would be better to relax a bit. You go to a minute long in bed.

- You Go! - No no no!

Let them stay! I do not care - or they are not.

Then help Baron undress.

Undo all the buttons on it. You did not see that it would be hard to breathe?

Do you feel better?

Oh, all right! Excellent!

- Let's hope that everything will work. - I ... I can not hear anything!

- This is a good sign! - No it's not a sign!

Baron, your resistance really exceptional!

I feel it necessary for himself bend your knees before you!

- And what's that? - Agreement on hiring maids.

- Baron! The time penalty! - No!!!

Do not, Baron! Very you please!

- Your Excellency! Do not! - Let me go! Let go!

- Baron, do not go! - It's time to start flogging!

Oh, so it's all a trick ?! You wanted, me to sign a pardon!

Arrest them! Lock all!

Stop moaning and take yourself!

Do not you think that the mayor time would have to appear on the balcony?

- But it's not the same! - It's our agent!

Well, wow!

Whip it! She deserves it!

Release it! Hangman - me!

You'll cover strips!

Well, now you do and arrested.

I can assure you ...

... I have no desire, but I'll have you neutered.

I do not want! For help!

This lawlessness! Release me!

I ask you, doctor!

After all, if you do I cut off, it will never be able to sew again!

Yes, of course ... But that's an order!

You are welcome! Please untie me!

You will see what will happen! And you go! Go behind the screen!

Now everyone in this town will laugh at us!

It is necessary to impose taxes to laugh and smile.

My fiancée will not give your hand a man ...

... That can cast a shadow it is not a person!

Enter the new tax. And do it now!

Are you in any situation look like an idiot! Remove the piece from the face when talk to me, Sergeant!

- I'm sorry executioner, Baron. - And where he?

- Receives punishment. - Do you ... Who are you?

Valerian, Baron von Trenc!

The only legitimate heir County Tursa!

It's impossible! But even if it was true, I soon Earl will Tours!

I am here to dispel that illusion!

You can not perform the necessary conditions.

You do not know who I am!

You - a former brewery.

And you will not be able to marry, nor pay the title.

Yes? I wonder why?

Well, let's say ... They are too far away from you ...

... And the bride ...

...and money!

Like that girl you like whip.

And as for the owners that hotel ...

... If something happens to them, the same thing will happen to you!

Will be deprived of something they ... the same and you lose!

Lord!

Arrest as it ... Arrest him!

To arrest! Arrest him ...

Where are you going? To arrest!

To arrest!

Thank you!

But ... It was him!

Sergeant! After him! To arrest!

- Who is he? - To arrest!

Very good!

To arrest!

Hands up! Get up against the wall! Like this!

What? What?

He got scared and ran! That is because a coward!

Close them in the tower! When Trenc catch you I poplyashete!

- Your Excellency! He escaped! - Well, what a bunch of idiots!

And you stop laughing!

WALKING your cockerel castrated soon!

You would do better to stop interested another's personal belongings, if you want to save manhood!

I think that Count von Trenc - man of his word.

As if he and you do not cut anything.

Crispin! Think for yourself the way, as we do with them!

No! I will not do it! I do not want to mess with this devil.

Take away these hotel maids from my eyes!

- It's a pity! But I could help you. - Stand!

Help? With what?

- How to protect your bride, Countess. - And how?

Do you replace it by me on the trip.

Then background Trunk kidnapped me instead of her, and your bride will arrive safe and sound.

- But not bad! - I just need something and that wig. But...

- I have one condition. - What?

- All prisoners will be released! - Yes, freed! They have already gone.

But your husband will remain hostage!

I will release it only after the wedding. If the wedding will not be, I did vzdernu!

OK, deal!

- Give the word? - Put your honor!

But hurry! Time - an important factor!

Your Excellency...

This is madness! In your place I would for what it is not released here!

But you're not in my shoes. And if were, it would mean revolution.

It is nothing against me will not be able take, or lose her husband.

It - a guarantee of my wedding! Clear?

Well, besides ...

... It unconsciously will lead us to the background Trenc.

Secretly followed her, send "a rat."

- Do you really think that we steal? - Just me, Countess.

It sounds like you really do not mind.

Baron von Trenc - of that breed of men, be stolen that - a dream!

- So, you're in love? - I do not think ... maybe ... I'm not sure.

The main thing is that you get to Thurso safe and sound!

I'm so worried about that conceived this Beshalach.

This monster was able to convince my father. He bought all his debts.

Now I have to save her father from bankruptcy, but - I swear - is too high a price!

Countess, you should not go for the Baron! You would not have to marry him, if...

Trenc!

That's curse!

Do not resist!

Otherwise, you will all die!

Do not shoot!

Come on!

Bloody cowards! Together - on five ?!

Madame ...

I must say, you have a strange way of invite guests, Baron Beshale.

Yes, and I have to bring you an apology.

Nor for the fact that I - not the baron.

I kidnapped you.

Ah, kidnapped ?!

Then I'd better warn you right away.

My father is unable to pay ransom for me - he's too poor.

I do not want any ransom.

And it seems to me that the money you will not interfere.

Your palace, almost in ruins.

There are a few reasons, which I have to tell you.

Maybe you sit down?

The family never sit Panyani next to someone whose name They do not even know.

I apologize!

Valerian, Baron von Trenc!

Countess certainly the most noble origin!

Another would have screamed in fright! But she ... She ...

She even did not blink!

This is certainly good, but with all the there are such moments.

Oh sure! For example you - here this instant!

- Well, do not be so impregnable! - I'm not like that.

I bet that you would have liked!

Let the jug!

I do not understand, baron, what attitude I have your rivalry with my fiance.

We'll discuss it later.

Can I ask you to sit still?

Thank you!

- What are your intentions with my address? - Who will tell.

But as I just want to share your food.

And then? What is waiting for me then?

My humble bed.

- And what's that? - Welcome drink!

Here's to your health, Countess.

No thanks! I do not drink wine. It just hits me in the head.

No! My wine is harmless, like water!

A delicious you "water"!

- And the truth is, like water! - Even some!

I love her!

- Oh, thank you! Well, have a drink yet? - Oh sure!

This...

It's true Bordeaux vdarilo me right on the head ...

And then - down the throat and up to the knees!

But the poor thing Countess He does not drink a drop.

Yes, but not that poor man This Countess!

Now, if I were a woman ...

... I would prefer to sleep with Baron Trenc, than with the BBC ... Be ...

- With the brewer! - And it's true! Let's drink!

More to the sons of them!

Why are they calling?

At this time they have You should be in bed!

I was walking, I go!

I think the Baron already wants to go to rest.

No one in the family Panyani will not have to deal with a drunk!

- I'm not drunk ... - Yes, let's go!

I would, in truth, and most would be better now ...

He disappeared in the ruins an abandoned monastery.

I do not know how many people with him.

Be at least a hundred, we still take it!

Your Excellency, taking into account, Do we have people ...

Shut up!

Or are you've never heard of a military body in Pandurene?

Your Excellency, Pandur leaders!

If we knew that you You want to go against Trenc ...

... We never would not come!

Name Trenc is sacred for pandurentsev!

I did this and did not ask you to do.

You only have to seize an impostor who pretends to be Trenc.

This thug who kills reputation Trenc ...

... And defiles your glorious flag military corps.

- Where is that scoundrel? - He's in an abandoned monastery ...

But I do not want you to acted against his will!

- Now really is our problem! - We will give it to you!

Dead or Alive!

That is the case and started to recover.

Do not worry about the Countess! She will sleep like a marmot.

It is not difficult to believe, it is because I drank as much as you do.

She drank twice as much! In truth, a strong woman!

The water is cold!

But the attitude is colder, who showed you the Countess last night!

No, it's better! I'm glad.

And you did not allow yourself too much?

Of course not, you idiot! She's a lady!

Well, even noble ladies You can sometimes find yourself ...

... Lying on a mattress with a strange man!

Hey! Enough!

I forbid you to talk like that about her!

- That's an order! - Very good!

Countess - not so! E it does not have anything to do with the other!

That's the case! Baron, I have never I have not heard from you such speeches.

- What? - You are obviously in love with her!

But this has not happened to you.

So do you! Maybe now shut up.

Come on, go to the city!

Curious to know how it panic due to the fact that the Countess has not arrived.

Thank you!

- Well? Countess awoke? - She is still sleeping.

- Good morning! - Good!

Countess, I must ask forgiveness for last night.

Not at all, Baron! I was even amused you went to rest.

- Do you sleep well? - Thank you! Excellent!

But not as good as you had hoped?

Of course ...

- What are you implying? - And here you need hints? I beg...

Last night you had not fallen for the right moment ...

... Tell us about their intentions against me, Baron.

Countess! I'm afraid I'll have to cause discontent in you to their ...

... But I'm going to upset your marriage with Beshale.

Then you have to express my thanks, Countess.

Yes...

I'm really very grateful to you, Baron.

Not much of a thank you, Countess.

Meanwhile ...

Meanwhile, you have to be very grateful to me !.

Sir!

Sir, I have discovered the secret "Innocent Lamb"!

They do not drink milk! This is pure wine!

And on the top floor of their ... ahem ...

... A real brothel! vice Nest! Sinful place!

That's wonderful! Fantastic!

Finally, we will be able to capture all in the tavern!

But ... You're given the word!

And to keep it, I'm still the owner and hang, not just castrate.

And you deserve a reward. You are allowed to watch the castration!

You know what they do now?

Do you know for sure?

I know what they'll do!

With you ... they will do very unfair.

- With me!? - Yes! With you!

They take my body is not just me, but you. Both of us!

Take away what you do not have enough in life.

Lacks? What is it? I have?!

I must reveal to you very big secret!

When I saw you pillory ...

... Naked!

I knew that you are a woman hiding!

The woman that I dreamed!

You do not tell me that!

That's why I do not want to be with me it happened right now!

I'll never be able to hold in the arms of this body ...

... Which is the limit of most beautiful of my dreams! Oh, my love!

I'm feeling it!

I know that the love you can do so, I no worldwide no longer like it!

Receive it from me!

- To take from you? - Why not me?

Because nothing can be done?

Make a fake surgery!

I pretend to be a eunuch ...

Then ... we will be happy with you!

We will be happy, my love!

My treasure!

You can go!

I'm sorry, but I have never I did castration.

- I do not know how. - You can not do anything if you do not worry!

He wants to marry me, so we all just pretend!

Do you understand?

Just pretend? Hence, everything remains in its place!

Finally, he got it, what he deserved.

Or better to say - it has lost that was needed.

What are you thinking, Valerian?

All this is very strange.

I feel like I could leave everything - Tours, possession ...

And run away with you. Anywhere!

- Anywhere! - But you can not do that!

After all, you have to save Tours the machinations of the evil Baron!

What we care about the Baron?

With you I would have been happy anywhere ...

... My dear Baroness von Trenc!

Please be careful in words!

I am telling the truth!

I swear to you that I first I feel the urge ...

... To go with someone to the altar.

Countess Panyani ...

... And Baron von Trenc.

No!

- It's impossible! - But why?

You have to understand that I ...

You - the most beautiful woman of all, I've ever met.

Oh yes!

Injury...

How did this happen?

I'll tell you next time.

Now I can not.

Hide! Hurry!

Get out of his hole and give up, you coward!

Who is speaking? Dirty hunter mice?

Most certainly - to villains which assign a name Trenc!

I do not know who you're talking.

Before you stands real Trenc.

Aha! Any rascal can say, that he - a real Trenc!

Another such attack, and it will be the last thing you say!

Friends, he was no Trenc!

Trenc would not have to talk so much! He would have knocked the stick from my hands!

With a gun you're good. But the real Trenc well managed with a sword.

Ideally!

To arms, pandurentsy!

He - the true Trenc!

Hooray!!!

Hooray!!! Hip-hip !!! Hooray!!!

Trenc - hurray !!!

Report to me the whole way!

My guilt is not here, Your Excellency! The attackers it was at least ten!

And twenty of them jumped on me alone!

Whether we have even thirty, we would have nothing to do can!

- So, they kidnapped the Countess? - What's not to steal?

Her maid can confirm this is what I fought like a lion.

But what can be done against hundreds of attackers?

Tell everyone about the kidnapping! And tell the Countess's maid, I want talk to her!

Well, now you turn the neck!

Baron will never forgive you for that, you had from under the nose umyknuli Countess!

- Do not hang me, please! - Well, so long Bring the luggage!

Had I known about it earlier, I would have remained in Venice.

to stay, stay! And would see his father in prison Piombo!

Even if you manage to somehow get all the bills father ...

... It does not mean that you You can take his daughter!

Let's not talk about it! Let's take a closer look!

No! No!

- I want to get to know you! - No!

Well, we'll see! As long as everything goes according to plan!

- Your plans will not come true! - Well, you're here stood up, you idiot ?!

I told Baron that protected you, like a lion!

But he still wants to hang me. Leo - and the gallows!

The only way you will be saved - find the Countess.

How can I find it? I have no idea, Where's she.

I will help you.

We uliznem away secretly, so that no one did not recognize. And hunt down Baron Trenc!

It is said that he is hiding in an abandoned monastery.

Then what are we waiting for? Come on!

Faster! No time to lose!

I will destroy him! Destroy this coward!

Hush! Let us go unnoticed!

- Writes the Grand Duke Celestino ... - Damn!

- He's already here ?! - Not yet, but he says that will be in the evening.

But the Countess did not want to marry me. But she will be my wife!

Deliver a doctor here and this eunuch Ferdinand!

- Trenc stole his bride. - And it is - at least from his daring tricks!

- But is deserved! - Oh Trenc something will be able to warm it, I assure you!

Baron is furious because of kidnapping his bride.

Tomorrow he and steal money.

Of course, if only he had not catch us.

Do not laugh! His sergeant He is looking for you with maid Countess.

- Ferdinand them hostage. - I will not be intimidated!

Neither the sergeant nor maid!

Well, now let's celebrate.

For the wedding of Baron-brewer!

Suzanne ?!

- You are alone? - I need to get away. Do not betray me!

Escape? But from whom?

From Trenc and ... perhaps - from itself.

Soon will come the real countess.

This Countess ?! I do not understand anything!

Unfortunately, I fooled Baron. I explain how something later.

Ferdinand will be hanged, if the wedding will not take place.

And what are you going to do?

I do not know yet. Anything but think of.

Please, not a word about me Baron Trenc!

Of course not! Good luck to you, Susan!

Thank you! Good luck to me It does not hurt, Marika.

When arriving here the grand duke, we will play a luxurious wedding!

Do you understand?

Tell me, doctor ...

How can I make the countess fall in love with me?

- Your Excellency, what? - Oh!

There must be you some medicine or tablets ... maybe elixirs ...

... That awaken certain desires.

So ... if you value your life ...

... You will do everything to the countess I marry me.

Yes, but what to do ...

- What can we do, Baron? - Anything!

All! All that can!

Personally, I can now not much ...

But I will try, Your Excellency.

And do not forget ...

... That if my marriage to Countess will not take place in the morning ...

... Then you have to expect the gallows!

You both want to, and I I must break these plans!

I just wanted to say, that the countess ...

There is only one way to convince a woman to do something.

- And what if he suspects you? - Me?

I'm a eunuch!

Countess! My destiny is in your hands!

Only in your power to decide, that is waiting for me - life or death!

- I know you will not leave me without hope! - Ferdinand!

- Suzanne ?! - Thank God you're all right!

- Yes, but where the Countess? - She ran away.

The Grand Duke arrived!

I'll have to go Baron instead!

Lost her mind?! Let's run away!

With chains on your feet ?!

Leave one!

I will not leave you under any circumstances!

Suzanne, this is not no sense!

You hung when he discovered the deception!

You want to hang us both?

Do not you dare think about it!

Ferdinand!

We have replaced one other woman!

We do the same Giessen with the governor!

- Apollonia! - Yes!

After that I uttered it, it awakened a desire, that she would give anything to save me.

We have to convince her that I I come here tonight to be with her!

Elixir! Let's give it Apollonia!

And then you can congratulate me with the wedding, Ferdinand!

We had the highest honor ...

... To accompany the altar Countess Panyani ...

... And Mr. Balthazar, Beshale Baron, Count Tours!

Give me a sec! Wait a minute-ka!

We do not even have to call him Earl of Tours!

Because money is not exchanged. And than...

- ... His morality is not yet rated. - Really?

Unfortunately, our Tsaker too strict. But it's his opinion!

Your Excellency, I beg you!

Well, of course!

We affirm the marriage contract between Countess Panyani ...

... And Count ... um ...

- Tours. - ... Tours.

Do not utter a single word, no sound!

If you know about it, you will put the pillory!

I will not give you anything, doctor.

It will be much worse, if the truth be revealed about Ferdinand.

- Oh, my dear Ferdinand! - Come on...

This is for him and drink all to the bottom!

Our poor Ferdinand!

- Everything is arranged! - Thank you!

And help you God! Good luck!

That elixir!

He is very strong!

Well, countess, you will hear the sound of Now magic flute!

This is a bill to your father's name.

You will be able to pick them up after both deserve.

And you should really try for them!

So to speak...

In one - at a time.

Do not touch me! Or I'm a widow, not having to be the wife!

But this is impossible! I have a right to their wedding night!

Put it away, my dear!

Every woman has a secret desire. Now you will see your own.

Drink a little of this and you will see, how to instantly soothe your get up to mischief nerves.

Let's get this here ...

And as soon as I could abandon you, my beloved husband ?!

I'm all eager to be yours! You know how to awaken in me a feeling!

But be patient! I want prihoroshitsya and will wait for you in bed!

- Yes Yes Yes! - Just do not light!

I feel shy of their nakedness!

Therefore repaid all the candles!

My sweet goddess! How long I have waited this award for their efforts!

- Not as long as I ... - Come on! Come on!

Show me your beautiful body, which makes me a extraordinary delight!

My love! My one and only!

- Guards! Guards! - How dare you ?!

- Arrest her! - Get out! Get out!

You took away my innocence! Thief!

Crispin! Here!

Sergeant! Where Crispin ?!

Guard, take her!

- What is it?! - It's Innkeeper!

So tomorrow we will hang just two!

Close it in the tower! Gone it soon!

Over there! Down there Trenc! Together with his thugs!

- Are you sure? Then, go there! - I - there ?!

It's suicide! I ask you to...

I beg you to have mercy and let me go!

- Coward! - It's something I a coward ?!

Now! Right now ...

I would die with a sword in his hand, if I was able to take out! Show, who will attack you!

You two will attack?

But this is not fair! Good evening, good people!

- Come with us! - Release!

- Do not be so rude! Help! Save! - Stop!

I - Countess Panyani!

Wonderworks! There, outside, Countess Panyani!

Thank you!

I knew you'd come back!

- But who are you? - Countess Panyani.

Oh, no ... I remember you!

You - her maid!

It is useless to continue the comedy, Baron.

The woman you stole - Suzanne Del Ber.

She is an actress and owner of the tavern in Tours.

Wait a minute! Tavern in Tours ?!

The wound on her left shoulder ... Til!

- I listen to? - Do you remember that Frau ...

The one who has a bullet stuck in his shoulder? From tavern in Tours ...

- What color hair she had? - She was a redhead, as I remember.

She wore a wig to become like me. And you stole it instead of me.

I do not understand why?!

Beshale took hostage her friend Ferdinand.

This villain had promised to let him go Only if I would be his wife.

Actress, comedienne means ...!

Good show!

I assure that all the bad thoughts, Now that you have about it, very unfair.

I have proof that Suzanne I allowed you to steal yourself with great pleasure.

With great pleasure!

- Yes, but I ... now I ... - Listen!

I arrived our messenger of Tours.

He confirmed that the Countess Panyani Baron Beshale ...

... Married today in the presence of Grand Duke.

When Beshale reveal deception, Suzanne end!

You're right ... Well, let's go in Thurso!

On Tours !!!

I asked you to leave me here!

How could I do that to a man, which I have experienced so much ?!

He endured with me?

- When, then, the rest ... Well, these ... - Stop thinking about your broads!

Now I only think about one.

Ah, my faithful Ferdinand!

- I think of Marika. - Oh, that's how ?!

Yes, that's it!

I also want to finally live normal, quiet life!

What is found Ferdinand at you?

I'm tired to wander around the world in the jolting carriage.

And I'm not so lucky - I did not get married a nobleman.

- And who came out of the nobleman? - You!

Now completely different. I know, that this adventure will not do without consequences.

- And without serious consequences. - Hmm!

Without the effects will not do.

Listen...

Baron and any owner of the hotel ...

No!

This happens only in fairy tales and plays.

And life - not a fairy tale.

- Do not play ... - Do not say that!

We can only wait and see there!

My dear!

We found the self-styled Trenc!

That's great news for His Excellency Grand Duke Celestino!

Take him!

The shackles ...

And I was hoping that he really real Trenc.

Of course, then it would all be different.

A person who observes honeymoon, not necessarily to ask how his day went.

How is your beloved spouse?

Very good, all things considered...

What? There is already a fact? Then congratulations!

If you will soon be the heir, in Thurso will all be different.

It is so inspiring!

But we still have not received million thalers from someone who wants Thurso own.

- True? - This is just a formality, Your Excellency!

- Sir, pandurentsy captured Trenc. - That's good!

Good news, Baron?

Triumphant, Your Excellency!

Caught vile criminal! Prepare another gallows!

- Yes Yes! - What? The verdict without trial !?

If I may, Your Excellency, I invite you to look at the court.

Thank you! But you do not forget ...

... That is our Tsaker very competent ... what?

- Prosecutor. - ... Public prosecutor.

Especially - in the area of ??criminal law.

But...

Welcome, Your Excellency, My Tours!

Well it is necessary! I forgot that this castle - yours.

- But it's a criminal! - What are you talking about?

This is Baron von Trenc!

He's a great joker! I am sure that today we all laugh.

- But we have to try it! - And that is true!

Please, Your Excellency, take your place!

To begin the trial, during which and see who is right and who is wrong.

Today we will consider Baron business ...

... Who is accused of illegal seizure Tursa County.

It's incredible! County a mine!

Tsaker! Will a lawyer!

So, as I have already said before, legally fixed price ...

... I have not yet been paid.

- Crispin, bring money! - Very good!

MAKE!

Put there!

Your Excellency! Inside - the requested price for Tours!

It is worth a million? I would have thought.

Sergeant! What are you doing there?

I ... I ... I was kidnapped by robbers!

Where's the money? It is he! He's robbed me!

Here you go!

Yes, it's all yours!

No! I just returned the money order who robbed you.

I should add ... Tsaker, I have to add?

You should also add, that morality did not become stronger in Tours.

We'll pull up the moral law here! Establish new taxes!

You do not do! Because you do not have the rights that any do here!

But, I have married a countess Panyani, friend!

Call witnesses: Countess Leontine Panyani!

So, you married me?

Strange! Usually such things the woman says.

Well, of course I married you!

Your Excellency, you yourself We signed the marriage certificate.

Countess and Count Panyani Tursa!

However, as we have seen, Count Baron Tours is Trenc!

And thus, the signed certificate, well as marriage ceremony, shall be deemed invalid.

And now no one in Tours ...

... Will not be forced forced to marry ...

... No matter what the reasons for this nor put forward!

Thank you very much, noble lord!

My heart belongs to man, remaining in Venice.

Marquis Rippafredde.

We already engaged. And here I Only then, in order to save his father!

- I am honored to help you go back to Venice. - Thank you, Baron!

But first I would like to know, where my father's bills!

They were burned.

- By whom? - Mistress of the hotel ...

Who posed as a countess.

Well, so be it. Where is she now?

I will not tell you!

You tell me!

Otherwise - kill on the spot!

If you kill me, will never know, Where's she.

I - the only one who knows it.

The same people Trenc! Now, we are saved!

Only if they find us.

Valerian definitely find me!

Will hope, that will cost no surprises.

Look, there is a horn!

Listen! It's Suzanne!

- Where is the sound? - Come on! It is in the tower!

Now, Baron ... Beshale

... It is guilty of ... is ...

In fact, that did not fulfill the conditions, necessary to purchase the county.

Right! And now - you can go!

Not yet!

Only after we We do with you just as you treated the owner of the hotel!

- I swear I'll cut off all! - But it was not me.

It ... it was him.

- I!? - Good! Then cut off both!

You can not let that happen! Please, Your Excellency!

Where is Suzanne?

However, Ferdinand was locked in a tower.

Finally!

And now - lost!

Tsaker ...

Bring me the mysterious owner of the hotel, so I could ... I could ...

- To interrogate her? - Right!

Thank God, you've heard the bugle!

And as soon as I heard ... Tursa will thank you!

There you are? Here!

Where is he? Forward!

I express my gratitude to you and on my own, and with all his family!

Countess!

My dear Trunk!

Now no doubt remains that, that you - the real Earl of Tours!

And what happened to my Tsaker?

Just a moment, Your Excellency!

I am afraid that I am unable to meet the conditions ...

- ... Necessary to seize the county. - What are you talking about?

I mean, I can not marry a noblewoman.

And this - one of the conditions.

But I can not because I love another woman.

And it is - a person very noble blood.

She - actress and owner of the tavern.

I can assure you that I have nothing against actresses or mistresses of taverns.

But the item conditions listed by Kaiser and is a must.

But if you need a county my dear?

Good! To hell with the Thurso!

Trenc, if you are in love, you easily send to hell Tours Court to send to hell!

Send to Hell, even ... even Command of the regiment!

You can send to hell anything, in this case!

- I'm ready for it! - Good!

The rest of me does not care!

Good! Everyone can choose what that he cares more than the rest.

Here only needs Tursa a young leader.

Tursa needs a strong, confident man!

I do not want to do this!

- I've already decided. - Mr Baron!

Baron, I have to give you something.

Sometimes women It is much wiser than we are!

END