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Woman: MY NAME
IS MARY ALICE YOUNG.
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00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,100
WHEN YOU READ
THIS MORNING'S PAPER,
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00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,600
YOU MAY COME ACROSS
AN ARTICLE
4
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,833
ABOUT THE UNUSUAL DAY
I HAD LAST WEEK.
5
00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:39,267
NORMALLY, THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING
NEWSWORTHY ABOUT MY LIFE,
6
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:42,433
BUT THAT ALL CHANGED
LAST THURSDAY.
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00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:45,767
OF COURSE, EVERYTHING SEEMED
QUITE NORMAL AT FIRST.
8
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,667
I MADE BREAKFAST
FOR MY FAMILY.
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00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,267
I PERFORMED MY CHORES.
10
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,767
I COMPLETED MY PROJECTS.
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00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,400
I RAN MY ERRANDS.
12
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:03,367
IN TRUTH, I SPENT THE DAY
AS I SPENT EVERY OTHER DAY --
13
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,833
QUIETLY POLISHING
THE ROUTINE OF MY LIFE
14
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:11,100
UNTIL IT GLEAMED
WITH PERFECTION.
15
00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:14,200
THAT'S WHY
IT WAS SO ASTONISHING
16
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,500
WHEN I DECIDED
TO GO TO MY HALLWAY CLOSET
17
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:22,067
AND RETRIEVE A REVOLVER
THAT HAD NEVER BEEN USED.
18
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:27,467
MY BODY WAS DISCOVERED
BY MY NEIGHBOR
19
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,833
MRS. MARTHA HUBER,
WHO HAD BEEN STARTLED
20
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,067
BY A STRANGE
POPPING SOUND.
21
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,200
HER CURIOSITY AROUSED,
MRS. HUBER TRIED TO THINK
22
00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:41,133
OF A REASON FOR DROPPING IN
ON ME UNANNOUNCED.
23
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,700
AFTER SOME INITIAL HESITATION,
24
00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:45,333
SHE DECIDED
TO RETURN THE BLENDER
25
00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:47,700
SHE HAD BORROWED FROM ME
SIX MONTHS BEFORE.
26
00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:50,600
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
27
00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,500
[ RING ]
28
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,067
AAH!
29
00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:11,733
IT'S MY NEIGHBOR.
I THINK SHE'S BEEN SHOT.
30
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,400
THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE.
31
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,533
YES.
32
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,400
YOU'VE GOT
TO SEND AN AMBULANCE.
33
00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:18,833
YOU'VE GOT TO SEND ONE
RIGHT NOW.
34
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,200
AND FOR A MOMENT,
35
00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:27,067
MRS. HUBER STOOD MOTIONLESS
IN HER KITCHEN,
36
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,700
GRIEF-STRICKEN
BY THIS SENSELESS TRAGEDY...
37
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,300
BUT ONLY FOR A MOMENT.
38
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:36,067
IF THERE WAS ONE THING
MRS. HUBER WAS KNOWN FOR,
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00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:40,067
IT WAS HER ABILITY
TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
40
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:47,500
I WAS LAID TO REST
ON A MONDAY.
41
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,533
AFTER THE FUNERAL,
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00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,433
ALL THE RESIDENTS
OF WISTERIA LANE
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00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:53,333
CAME TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS.
44
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:56,400
AND, AS PEOPLE DO
IN THESE SITUATIONS,
45
00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:57,533
THEY BROUGHT FOOD.
46
00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:00,133
LYNETTE SCAVO
BROUGHT FRIED CHICKEN.
47
00:03:00,167 --> 00:03:03,467
LYNETTE HAD A GREAT FAMILY
RECIPE FOR FRIED CHICKEN.
48
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,800
OF COURSE,
SHE DIDN'T COOK MUCH
49
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,733
WHILE SHE WAS MOVING UP
THE CORPORATE LADDER.
50
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,533
SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME.
51
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,500
BUT WHEN HER DOCTOR ANNOUNCED
LYNETTE WAS PREGNANT,
52
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:12,833
HER HUSBAND TOM
HAD AN IDEA.
53
00:03:12,867 --> 00:03:14,667
"WHY NOT QUIT YOUR JOB?
54
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,433
"KIDS DO BETTER
WITH STAY-AT-HOME MOMS.
55
00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:19,233
IT WOULD BE
SO MUCH LESS STRESSFUL."
56
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,100
BUT THIS WAS NOT THE CASE.
57
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,833
IN FACT, LYNETTE'S LIFE
HAD BECOME SO HECTIC,
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00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:26,167
SHE WAS NOW FORCED
TO GET HER FRIED CHICKEN
59
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,167
FROM A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT.
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00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,767
LYNETTE WOULD HAVE
APPRECIATED THE IRONY
61
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,667
IF SHE STOPPED
TO THINK ABOUT IT,
62
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,133
BUT SHE COULDN'T.
SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME.
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00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:35,833
STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT,
STOP IT, STOP IT!
64
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,100
BUT, MOM!
65
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,600
NO, YOU ARE GOING
TO BEHAVE TODAY.
66
00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:40,233
I AM NOT GOING
TO BE HUMILIATED
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00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:42,200
IN FRONT
OF THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD.
68
00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,600
AND JUST SO YOU KNOW
HOW SERIOUS I AM...
69
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,467
WHAT'S THAT?
70
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,233
SANTA'S CELL PHONE NUMBER.
71
00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:49,733
HOW'D YOU GET THAT?
72
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,133
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE
WHO KNOWS AN ELF,
73
00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:53,600
AND IF ANY OF YOU ACTS UP,
74
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,500
SO HELP ME,
I WILL CALL SANTA,
75
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:58,167
AND I WILL TELL HIM
YOU WANT SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS.
76
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,733
YOU WILLING TO RISK THAT?
77
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:02,633
MNH-MNH.
78
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:05,267
OKAY.
79
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,733
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
80
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:11,567
GABRIELLE SOLIS,
WHO LIVES DOWN THE BLOCK,
81
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,700
BROUGHT A SPICY PAELLA.
82
00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:17,067
SINCE HER MODELING DAYS
IN NEW YORK,
83
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:21,100
GABRIELLE HAD DEVELOPED
A TASTE FOR RICH FOOD...
84
00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,700
AND RICH MEN.
85
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:26,300
CARLOS, WHO WORKED
IN MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS,
86
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,300
PROPOSED ON THEIR THIRD DATE.
87
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:31,433
GABRIELLE WAS TOUCHED WHEN TEARS
WELLED UP IN HIS EYES,
88
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,067
BUT SHE SOON DISCOVERED
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00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:36,433
THIS HAPPENED EVERY TIME
CARLOS CLOSED THE BIG DEAL.
90
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,833
GABRIELLE LIKED HER PAELLA
PIPING HOT.
91
00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:40,833
HOWEVER, HER RELATIONSHIP
WITH HER HUSBAND
92
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,533
WAS CONSIDERABLY COOLER.
93
00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,567
IF YOU TALK
TO AL MASON AT THIS THING,
94
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,833
I WANT YOU
TO CASUALLY MENTION
95
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,467
HOW MUCH I PAID
FOR YOUR NECKLACE.
96
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,233
WHY DON'T I JUST PIN
THE RECEIPT TO MY CHEST?
97
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:51,400
HE LET ME KNOW
HOW MUCH HE PAID
98
00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:52,633
FOR HIS WIFE'S
NEW CONVERTIBLE.
99
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,167
LOOK, JUST WORK IT
INTO THE CONVERSATION.
100
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,833
THERE'S NO WAY I CAN
JUST WORK THAT IN, CARLOS.
101
00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:57,333
WHY NOT?
AT THE DONOGHUE PARTY,
102
00:04:57,367 --> 00:04:59,200
EVERYONE WAS
TALKING MUTUAL FUNDS,
103
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,700
AND YOU FOUND A WAY
TO MENTION
104
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,300
YOU SLEPT WITH
HALF THE YANKEE OUTFIELD.
105
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,333
I'M TELLING YOU,
IT CAME UP
106
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:04,567
IN THE CONTEXT
OF THE CONVERSATION.
107
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,100
HEY, PEOPLE ARE STARTING
TO STARE.
108
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,500
CAN YOU KEEP
YOUR VOICE DOWN, PLEASE?
109
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:08,500
ABSOLUTELY.
110
00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:11,267
WE WOULDN'T WANT THEM
TO THINK WE'RE NOT HAPPY.
111
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,233
BREE VAN DE KAMP,
WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR,
112
00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:16,400
BROUGHT BASKETS OF MUFFINS
SHE BAKED FROM SCRATCH.
113
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,367
BREE WAS KNOWN
FOR HER COOKING,
114
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,167
AND FOR MAKING
HER OWN CLOTHES,
115
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,067
AND FOR DOING
HER OWN GARDENING,
116
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:27,733
AND FOR REUPHOLSTERING
HER OWN FURNITURE.
117
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:29,567
YES, BREE'S MANY TALENTS
118
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,467
WERE KNOWN
THROUGHOUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
119
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,333
AND EVERYONE ON WISTERIA LANE
THOUGHT OF BREE
120
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,667
AS THE PERFECT WIFE
AND MOTHER.
121
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:39,700
EVERYONE, THAT IS,
EXCEPT HER OWN FAMILY.
122
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,400
PAUL.
123
00:05:43,433 --> 00:05:44,767
ZACHARY.
124
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,200
HELLO, MRS. VAN DE KAMP.
125
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,667
BREE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
GONE TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
126
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,100
IT WAS NO TROUBLE
AT ALL.
127
00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,300
NOW, THE BASKET
WITH THE RED RIBBON
128
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,767
IS FILLED WITH DESSERTS
FOR YOUR GUESTS,
129
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,500
BUT THE ONE
WITH THE BLUE RIBBON
130
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:54,733
IS JUST FOR YOU
AND ZACHARY.
131
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,667
IT'S GOT ROLLS, MUFFINS,
BREAKFAST-TYPE THINGS.
132
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,200
THANK YOU.
133
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,733
WELL, THE LEAST I COULD DO
IS MAKE SURE YOU BOYS HAD
134
00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:03,233
A DECENT MEAL TO LOOK FORWARD TO
IN THE MORNING.
135
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,300
I KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MINDS
WITH GRIEF.
136
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,467
YES, WE ARE.
137
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,700
OF COURSE,
138
00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:12,300
I WILL NEED THE BASKETS BACK
ONCE YOU'RE DONE.
139
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,067
OF COURSE.
140
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:20,533
SUSAN MAYER,
WHO LIVES ACROSS THE STREET,
141
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,733
BROUGHT MACARONI AND CHEESE.
142
00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:25,533
HER HUSBAND CARL ALWAYS
TEASED HER ABOUT HER MACARONI,
143
00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,800
SAYING IT WAS THE ONLY THING
SHE KNEW HOW TO COOK,
144
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,500
AND SHE RARELY
MADE IT WELL.
145
00:06:30,533 --> 00:06:31,500
IT WAS TOO SALTY
146
00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:34,733
THE NIGHT SHE AND CARL
MOVED INTO THEIR HOUSE.
147
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:35,700
IT WAS TOO WATERY
148
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:38,800
THE NIGHT SHE FOUND LIPSTICK
ON CARL'S SHIRT.
149
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,333
SHE BURNED IT
THE NIGHT CARL TOLD HER
150
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,667
HE WAS LEAVING HER
FOR HIS SECRETARY.
151
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:53,733
A YEAR HAD PASSED
SINCE THE DIVORCE.
152
00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,700
SUSAN HAD STARTED TO THINK
HOW NICE IT WOULD BE
153
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:57,533
TO HAVE A MAN
IN HER LIFE,
154
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,467
EVEN ONE WHO WOULD
MAKE FUN OF HER COOKING.
155
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,500
MOM...
156
00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:03,567
WHY WOULD SOMEONE
KILL THEMSELVES?
157
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,500
WELL...
158
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,167
SOMETIMES PEOPLE
ARE SO UNHAPPY,
159
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,100
THEY THINK THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
THEY CAN SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.
160
00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:11,567
BUT MRS. YOUNG
ALWAYS SEEMED HAPPY.
161
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,133
YEAH, SOMETIMES PEOPLE
PRETEND TO BE ONE WAY
162
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,700
ON THE OUTSIDE WHEN THEY'RE
TOTALLY DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE.
163
00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:18,300
OH, YOU MEAN
LIKE HOW DAD'S GIRLFRIEND
164
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:19,700
IS ALWAYS SMILING
AND SAYS NICE THINGS,
165
00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:21,567
BUT DEEP DOWN,
YOU JUST KNOW SHE'S A BITCH?
166
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,467
I DON'T LIKE
THAT WORD, JULIE.
167
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,567
BUT, YEAH,
THAT'S A GREAT EXAMPLE.
168
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,400
Julie: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
169
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,667
SORRY I'M LATE.
170
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,333
HI, SUSAN.
171
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,333
HEY.
172
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:06,133
SO, WHAT DID CARL SAY
WHEN YOU CONFRONTED HIM?
173
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,533
YOU'LL LOVE THIS.
HE SAID...
174
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,800
"IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
IT WAS JUST SEX."
175
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,500
AH, YES, PAGE ONE
OF THE PHILANDERER'S HANDBOOK.
176
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,433
YEAH, AND THEN HE GOT
THIS ZEN LOOK ON HIS FACE,
177
00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:17,200
AND HE SAID,
"YOU KNOW, SUSAN,
178
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:20,133
MOST MEN LIVE LIVES
OF QUIET DESPERATION."
179
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,400
PLEASE TELL ME
YOU PUNCHED HIM.
180
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:22,533
NO, I SAID, "REALLY?
181
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,467
AND WHAT DO MOST WOMEN LEAD,
LIVES OF NOISY FULFILLMENT?"
182
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,067
HMM.
GOOD FOR YOU.
183
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,167
I MEAN, OF ALL PEOPLE,
184
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,633
DID HE HAVE TO
BANG HIS SECRETARY?
185
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,267
I HAD THAT WOMAN OVER
FOR BRUNCH.
186
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,633
IT'S LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER
ALWAYS SAID --
187
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,400
AN ERECT PENIS
DOESN'T HAVE A CONSCIENCE.
188
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,433
EVEN THE LIMP ONES
AREN'T THAT ETHICAL.
189
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,533
THIS IS HALF THE REASON
I JOINED THE NRA.
190
00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,167
WELL, WHEN REX STARTED GOING
TO THOSE MEDICAL CONFERENCES,
191
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,633
I WANTED IT
IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND
192
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,300
THAT HE HAD
A LOVING WIFE AT HOME
193
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,833
WITH A LOADED
SMITH & WESSON.
194
00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:46,733
LYNNIE, TOM'S ALWAYS
AWAY ON BUSINESS.
195
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,133
DO YOU EVER WORRY
HE MIGHT?
196
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,700
OH, PLEASE,
THE MAN'S GOTTEN ME PREGNANT
197
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,633
THREE TIMES
IN FOUR YEARS.
198
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:54,233
I WISH HE WAS HAVING SEX
WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
199
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,800
HA HA HA.
200
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,567
SO, SUSAN, IS HE GOING
TO STOP SEEING THAT WOMAN?
201
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,767
I DON'T KNOW.
202
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:11,733
I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS.
I JUST...
203
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,633
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW
I'M GOING TO SURVIVE THIS.
204
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:17,500
LISTEN TO ME.
205
00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:20,433
WE ALL HAVE MOMENTS
OF DESPERATION.
206
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,067
BUT IF WE CAN FACE THEM
HEAD-ON,
207
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:26,200
THAT'S WHEN WE FIND OUT
JUST HOW STRONG WE REALLY ARE.
208
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:33,733
SUSAN.
209
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:34,733
SUSAN.
210
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,133
I WAS JUST SAYING
211
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,567
PAUL WANTS US
TO GO OVER ON FRIDAY.
212
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,267
HE NEEDS US TO GO THROUGH
MARY ALICE'S CLOSET
213
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,567
AND HELP
PACK UP HER THINGS.
214
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,100
HE SAID HE CAN'T FACE
DOING IT BY HIMSELF.
215
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,600
SURE. THAT'S FINE.
216
00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,733
ARE YOU OKAY?
217
00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:47,567
YEAH.
218
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,400
I'M JUST SO ANGRY.
219
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:51,100
IF MARY ALICE
WAS HAVING PROBLEMS,
220
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,300
SHE SHOULD HAVE
COME TO US.
221
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:53,833
SHE SHOULD HAVE
LET US HELP HER.
222
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,367
WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS
COULD SHE HAVE HAD?
223
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,700
SHE WAS HEALTHY,
224
00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:58,100
HAD A GREAT HOME,
A NICE FAMILY.
225
00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:59,167
HER LIFE WAS...
226
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,267
OUR LIFE.
227
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,667
NO, IF MARY ALICE WAS HAVING
SOME SORT OF CRISIS,
228
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,367
WE'D HAVE KNOWN.
229
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,367
SHE LIVES 50 FEET AWAY,
FOR GOD'S SAKES.
230
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,433
GABBY, THE WOMAN
KILLED HERSELF.
231
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,300
SOMETHING MUST HAVE
BEEN GOING ON.
232
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,400
I WOULDN'T EAT THAT
IF I WERE YOU.
233
00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,433
WHY?
234
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,100
I MADE IT. TRUST ME.
235
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:34,233
HEY, HEY, DO YOU --
DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?
236
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,200
NO, I JUST REFUSE
TO BELIEVE
237
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:37,167
THAT ANYBODY CAN
SCREW UP MACARONI AND CHEESE.
238
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:41,067
OH, MY GOD.
239
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,700
HOW DID YOU --
240
00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:45,800
IT TASTES LIKE IT'S BURNED
AND UNDERCOOKED.
241
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:47,600
YEAH, I GET THAT A LOT.
HERE YOU GO.
242
00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:49,133
HA HA.
243
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,800
UM...
244
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,300
HA HA. THANKS.
245
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,633
I'M MIKE DELFINO.
246
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,767
I JUST STARTED RENTING
THE SIMMS HOUSE NEXT DOOR.
247
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,500
SUSAN MAYER.
I LIVE ACROSS THE STREET.
248
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,300
OH, YEAH, MRS. HUBER
TOLD ME ABOUT YOU.
249
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,233
SAID YOU ILLUSTRATE
CHILDREN'S BOOKS.
250
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,667
YEAH, I'M VERY BIG
WITH THE UNDER-5 SET.
251
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,633
HA HA HA.
252
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,067
WHAT DO YOU DO?
PLUMBER.
253
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,167
SO IF YOU EVER HAVE
A CLOG...
254
00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:12,800
OR SOMETHING.
255
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:15,767
HA HA.
256
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,733
NOW THAT EVERYBODY'S SEEN
THAT I BROUGHT SOMETHING,
257
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:21,333
I SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST THROW THIS OUT.
258
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,100
HA HA.
259
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:33,200
OW.
260
00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,167
EASE UP,
YOU LITTLE VAMPIRE.
261
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:41,400
LYNETTE, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
262
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:44,133
ARE YOU AWARE
OF WHAT YOUR SONS ARE DOING?
263
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,067
Boy: CANNONBALL!
264
00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:52,700
[ BOYS YELLING ]
265
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,600
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
266
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,400
WE ARE AT A WAKE.
267
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,367
WHEN WE GOT HERE, YOU SAID
WE COULD GO IN THE POOL.
268
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,667
I SAID YOU COULD
GO BY THE POOL.
269
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,200
DO YOU HAVE
YOUR SWIMSUITS ON?
270
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,567
YEAH, WE PUT THEM
UNDER OUR CLOTHES
271
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,833
BEFORE WE LEFT.
272
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,800
YOU THREE PLANNED THIS?
ALL RIGHT.
273
00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:12,233
THAT'S IT. GET OUT!
274
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:14,400
NO!
NO?
275
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,633
I AM YOUR MOTHER.
276
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,233
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY.
COME ON.
277
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:20,600
WE WANT TO SWIM,
AND YOU CAN'T STOP US!
278
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,633
HERE, FATHER.
279
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:35,733
GET OUT,
OR I WILL GET IN THIS POOL
280
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:36,833
AND JUST GRAB YOU.
GET OUT!
281
00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:38,200
GET OVER HERE.
282
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:41,800
GET -- GET OVER HERE!
283
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:46,400
ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME YOUR ARM.
GET BACK --
284
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,800
YOU -- OOH!
285
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,367
MOVE IT!
286
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,567
THAT'S RIGHT!
GET OVER HERE!
287
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,367
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
288
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,133
MOVE IT!
289
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,267
UGH.
290
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,067
OUT! GET OUT!
291
00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:14,300
PAUL, WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW.
292
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,700
ONCE AGAIN,
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
293
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,833
GO.
294
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,800
Mary Alice: LYNETTE SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN SO CONCERNED
295
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,200
ABOUT MY HUSBAND.
296
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,067
HE HAD OTHER THINGS
ON HIS MIND --
297
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,567
THINGS BELOW THE SURFACE.
298
00:13:36,867 --> 00:13:38,600
Mary Alice: THE MORNING
AFTER MY FUNERAL,
299
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,833
MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
QUIETLY WENT BACK
300
00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,333
TO THEIR BUSY, BUSY LIVES.
301
00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:48,333
WHILE SOME DID THEIR COOKING...
302
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:52,100
AND SOME DID THEIR CLEANING...
303
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,767
AND SOME DID THEIR YOGA...
304
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,767
OTHERS DID THEIR HOMEWORK.
305
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,133
HI.
SHH.
306
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,200
[ BARKS ]
I'M JULIE.
307
00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:03,433
I KICKED MY SOCCER BALL
INTO YOUR BACKYARD.
308
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:06,300
OH, OKAY. WELL, LET'S
GO AROUND AND GET IT.
309
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,333
STAY.
310
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:08,667
[ DOG BARKS ]
311
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,167
HIS WIFE DIED A YEAR AGO.
HE WANTED TO STAY IN L.A.,
312
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,667
BUT THERE WERE
TOO MANY MEMORIES.
313
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,067
HE'S RENTING
FOR TAX PURPOSES,
314
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,833
BUT HE HOPES
TO BUY A PLACE REAL SOON.
315
00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:16,800
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WENT OVER THERE.
316
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,433
HEY, I SAW YOU BOTH
FLIRTING AT THE WAKE.
317
00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:20,233
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY
INTO EACH OTHER.
318
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:22,200
NOW THAT YOU KNOW HE'S SINGLE,
YOU CAN ASK HIM OUT.
319
00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,300
JULIE, I LIKE MR. DELFINO,
I DO.
320
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,400
I JUST, UH,
321
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,567
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M READY
TO START DATING YET.
322
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,400
OH, YOU NEED
TO GET BACK OUT THERE.
323
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,667
COME ON. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
SINCE YOU'VE HAD SEX?
324
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:35,600
ARE YOU MAD
THAT I ASKED YOU THAT?
325
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,400
NO, I'M JUST TRYING
TO REMEMBER.
326
00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:39,267
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE ANYMORE.
327
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,700
IT WEIRDS ME OUT.
328
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,800
I WOULDN'T HAVE
SAID ANYTHING. IT'S JUST...
329
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,233
WHAT?
330
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,067
I HEARD
DAD'S GIRLFRIEND ASK
331
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,467
IF YOU'D DATED ANYONE
SINCE THE DIVORCE,
332
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,067
AND DAD SAID
HE DOUBTED IT.
333
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,300
AND THEN
THEY BOTH LAUGHED.
334
00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:04,200
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
335
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,233
[ DOG BARKS ]
336
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,167
HEY.
337
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,800
SUSAN.
HI, MIKE.
338
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,533
I BROUGHT YOU
A LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT.
339
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:17,267
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT
SOMETHING BY EARLIER, BUT...
340
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,233
ACTUALLY, YOU'RE THE FIRST
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD TO STOP BY.
341
00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:20,233
REALLY?
342
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,100
SUSAN KNEW
SHE WAS LUCKY.
343
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:25,067
AN ELIGIBLE BACHELOR
HAD MOVED ONTO WISTERIA LANE,
344
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,067
AND SHE WAS THE FIRST
TO FIND OUT,
345
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,200
BUT SHE ALSO KNEW
THAT GOOD NEWS...
346
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,133
HELLO THERE!
347
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,700
TRAVELS QUICKLY.
348
00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,833
EDIE BRITT WAS
THE MOST PREDATORY DIVORCéE
349
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,667
IN A 5-BLOCK RADIUS.
350
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,067
HER CONQUESTS WERE NUMEROUS...
351
00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:42,667
VARIED...
352
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,500
AND LEGENDARY.
353
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,700
HI, SUSAN.
I HOPE I'M NOT INTERRUPTING.
354
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,133
YOU MUST BE MIKE DELFINO.
355
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,300
HI, I'M EDIE.
356
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,733
BRITT.
357
00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,633
I LIVE OVER THERE.
358
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,100
WELCOME TO WISTERIA LANE.
359
00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:05,233
SUSAN HAD MET THE ENEMY,
AND SHE WAS A SLUT.
360
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,233
THANK YOU. HA HA.
WHAT'S THIS?
361
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,067
SAUSAGE PUTANESCA.
362
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,133
IT'S JUST SOMETHING
I THREW TOGETHER.
363
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,833
WELL, THANKS, EDIE.
HA HA.
364
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:15,733
THAT'S GREAT.
365
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,567
I'D INVITE YOU BOTH IN,
366
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,633
BUT I WAS SORT OF
IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.
367
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,733
OH, I --
NO PROBLEM.
368
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,367
I'M LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI.
369
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,433
AND JUST LIKE THAT,
370
00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:25,233
THE RACE FOR MIKE DELFINO
HAD BEGUN.
371
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,700
FOR A MOMENT,
SUSAN WONDERED
372
00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:29,567
IF HER RIVALRY WITH EDIE
WOULD REMAIN FRIENDLY.
373
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,400
OH, MIKE.
I HEARD YOU'RE A PLUMBER?
374
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:35,333
BUT SHE WAS REMINDED
THAT WHEN IT CAME TO MEN...
375
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,667
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
STOP BY LATER TONIGHT
376
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,800
AND TAKE A LOOK
AT MY PIPES?
377
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,833
WOMEN DON'T FIGHT FAIR.
SURE.
378
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,800
THANKS.
379
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,267
BYE, SUSAN.
380
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,500
YOU CAN'T ORDER ME AROUND
LIKE I'M A CHILD.
381
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,833
GABRIELLE.
382
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:56,167
NO. NO, NO, NO.
I'M NOT GOING.
383
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,200
IT'S BUSINESS.
384
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,700
TANAKA EXPECTS EVERYONE
TO BRING THEIR WIVES.
385
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:01,400
EVERY TIME I'M AROUND THAT MAN,
HE TRIES TO GRAB MY ASS.
386
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:03,500
HA HA.
I MADE OVER $200,000
387
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,200
DOING BUSINESS WITH HIM
LAST YEAR.
388
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,133
IF HE WANTS TO GRAB YOUR ASS,
YOU LET HIM.
389
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,267
JOHN.
OW.
390
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,767
MR. SOLIS.
YOU SCARED ME.
391
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,700
WHY IS THAT BUSH
STILL THERE?
392
00:17:21,733 --> 00:17:24,267
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
DIG IT UP LAST WEEK.
I DIDN'T HAVE TIME LAST WEEK.
393
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,667
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
YOUR EXCUSES.
394
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,767
JUST TAKE CARE OF IT.
395
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,733
I REALLY HATE
THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME.
396
00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:34,267
AND I REALLY HATE
397
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,233
THAT I SPEND $15,000
ON YOUR DIAMOND NECKLACE
398
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:37,600
THAT YOU COULDN'T
LIVE WITHOUT,
399
00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,133
BUT I'M LEARNING
TO DEAL WITH IT.
400
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,800
SO CAN I TELL TANAKA
401
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:43,067
WE'LL BE THERE
TOMORROW NIGHT?
402
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,400
JOHN.
403
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,633
WE HAVE BANDAGES
TOP SHELF IN THE KITCHEN.
404
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:47,767
THANKS, MRS. SOLIS.
405
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:53,667
FINE. I'LL GO.
406
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,733
BUT I'M KEEPING MY BACK
PRESSED AGAINST THE WALL
407
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,567
THE ENTIRE TIME.
408
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,800
SEE?
409
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:01,167
NOW THIS IS WHAT A MARRIAGE
IS ALL ABOUT --
410
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,300
COMPROMISE.
411
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,600
IS YOUR FINGER OKAY?
412
00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:11,700
YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S JUST A SMALL CUT.
413
00:18:11,733 --> 00:18:13,133
LET ME SEE.
414
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:16,133
HMM.
415
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,433
YOU KNOW, MRS. SOLIS,
416
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:35,067
UM, I REALLY LIKE IT
WHEN WE HOOK UP,
417
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,600
BUT, UM,
418
00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,167
WELL, YOU KNOW, I-I GOT
TO GET MY WORK DONE,
419
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,533
AND I CAN'T AFFORD
TO LOSE THIS JOB.
420
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:45,367
THIS TABLE
IS HAND-CARVED.
421
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,667
CARLOS HAD IT
IMPORTED FROM ITALY.
422
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:51,067
IT COST HIM $23,000.
423
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:54,100
YOU WANT TO DO IT
ON THE TABLE THIS TIME?
424
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,100
ABSOLUTELY.
425
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,100
WHY CAN'T WE EVER
HAVE NORMAL SOUP?
426
00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,733
DANIELLE, THERE IS
NOTHING ABNORMAL
427
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:15,767
ABOUT BASIL PUREE.
428
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,233
JUST ONCE,
429
00:19:17,267 --> 00:19:19,600
COULDN'T WE HAVE A SOUP
THAT PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF?
430
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,533
LIKE FRENCH ONION
OR NAVY BEAN.
431
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,467
FIRST OF ALL,
YOUR FATHER CAN'T EAT ONIONS.
432
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,533
HE'S DEATHLY ALLERGIC.
433
00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:27,300
AND I WON'T EVEN DIGNIFY
YOUR NAVY BEAN SUGGESTION.
434
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,300
SO...
435
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,267
HOW'S THE OSSO BUCO?
436
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,200
IT'S OKAY.
437
00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:34,233
IT'S OKAY?
438
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,500
ANDREW, I SPENT THREE HOURS
COOKING THIS MEAL.
439
00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:39,100
HOW DO YOU THINK
IT MAKES ME FEEL
440
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:41,567
WHEN YOU SAY "IT'S OKAY"
IN THAT SULLEN TONE?
441
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,633
WHO ASKED YOU TO SPEND
THREE HOURS ON DINNER?
442
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,067
EXCUSE ME?
443
00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,367
TIM HARPER'S MOM
GETS HOME FROM WORK,
444
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,233
POPS OPEN
A CAN OF PORK AND BEANS,
445
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,100
AND BOOM, THEY'RE EATING.
EVERYONE'S HAPPY.
446
00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,167
YOU'D RATHER I SERVE
PORK AND BEANS?
447
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,833
APOLOGIZE NOW.
I AM BEGGING.
448
00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:00,833
I'M SAYING, DO YOU ALWAYS
HAVE TO SERVE CUISINE?
449
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,233
CAN'T WE EVER
JUST HAVE FOOD?
450
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,233
ARE YOU DOING DRUGS?
WHAT?
451
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,100
CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR
IS ONE OF THE WARNING SIGNS,
452
00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,133
AND YOU HAVE BEEN
AS FRESH AS PAINT
453
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,067
FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS.
454
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,367
THAT CERTAINLY WOULD EXPLAIN
455
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,800
WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS
LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM.
456
00:20:11,833 --> 00:20:13,433
TRUST ME, THAT IS NOT
WHAT HE IS DOING.
457
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:15,333
SHUT UP.
458
00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,133
MOM, I'M NOT THE ONE WITH
THE PROBLEM HERE, ALL RIGHT?
459
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,367
YOU'RE THE ONE
ALWAYS ACTING
460
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,300
LIKE SHE'S RUNNING
FOR MAYOR OF STEPFORD.
461
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:22,033
REX.
462
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,367
SEEING THAT YOU'RE
THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSEHOLD,
463
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,200
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOU
SAYING SOMETHING.
464
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:30,067
PASS THE SALT?
465
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,800
Mary Alice: THREE DAYS
AFTER MY FUNERAL,
466
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:47,433
LYNETTE REPLACED HER GRIEF WITH
A MUCH MORE USEFUL EMOTION --
467
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:49,033
INDIGNATION.
468
00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,700
TOM, THIS IS
MY FIFTH MESSAGE,
469
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,633
AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T
CALLED ME BACK.
470
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:55,167
WELL, YOU MUST BE HAVING A LOT
OF FUN ON YOUR BUSINESS TRIP.
471
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,567
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE.
472
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,067
WELL, GUESS WHAT --
473
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,233
THE KIDS AND I WANT TO HAVE
SOME FUN, TOO,
474
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:01,700
SO UNLESS YOU CALL ME BACK
BY NOON,
475
00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,267
WE ARE GETTING ON A PLANE
AND JOINING YOU.
476
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,700
MOM!
477
00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:06,800
NOT NOW, HONEY.
MOMMY'S THREATENING DADDY.
478
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,633
MOM.
NO, I --
479
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,733
WHERE ARE YOUR BROTHERS?
480
00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,733
NOODLES -- MY FAVORITE.
481
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:20,467
LYNETTE SCAVO?
482
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,567
CRAP.
483
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,167
NATALIE KLEIN.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
484
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,767
LYNETTE. HOW LONG
HAS IT BEEN?
485
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,500
YEARS.
486
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:31,100
UH, HOW ARE YOU?
HOW'S THE FIRM?
487
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:32,067
GOOD.
488
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,333
EVERYONE MISSES YOU.
489
00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:35,067
YEAH.
490
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,200
WE ALL SAY
IF YOU HADN'T QUIT,
491
00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:37,467
YOU'D BE RUNNING THE PLACE
BY NOW.
492
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:40,133
YEAH, WELL...
493
00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:41,333
SO...
494
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,167
HOW'S DOMESTIC LIFE?
495
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,700
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE
BEING A MOM?
496
00:21:46,733 --> 00:21:48,267
AND THERE IT WAS --
497
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,533
THE QUESTION
THAT LYNETTE ALWAYS DREADED.
498
00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:52,467
WELL, TO BE HONEST...
499
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,733
FOR THOSE WHO ASKED IT,
ONLY ONE ANSWER WAS ACCEPTABLE,
500
00:21:56,767 --> 00:21:58,400
SO LYNETTE RESPONDED
AS SHE ALWAYS DID.
501
00:21:58,433 --> 00:21:59,733
SHE LIED.
502
00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:03,167
IT'S THE BEST JOB
I'VE EVER HAD.
503
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,567
[ PEOPLE GASPING ]
504
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,467
Boy: OH, YEAH.
505
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:13,533
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
506
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:15,067
YOU KNOW
WHAT I DON'T GET?
507
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,067
WHAT?
508
00:22:16,067 --> 00:22:18,100
WHY YOU MARRIED
MR. SOLIS.
509
00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:23,233
WELL...
510
00:22:23,267 --> 00:22:26,600
HE PROMISED TO GIVE ME
EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED.
511
00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:28,500
AND DID HE?
512
00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:30,800
YES.
513
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:33,633
THEN WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY?
514
00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:38,533
TURNS OUT I WANTED
ALL THE WRONG THINGS.
515
00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:42,433
SO DO YOU LOVE HIM?
516
00:22:42,467 --> 00:22:43,733
I DO.
517
00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:46,233
WELL, THEN,
WHY ARE WE HERE?
518
00:22:46,267 --> 00:22:47,433
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?
519
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,600
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO WAKE UP ONE MORNING
520
00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:52,067
WITH A SUDDEN URGE
TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT.
521
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,633
HEY, CAN I HAVE A DRAG?
522
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,633
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
523
00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:02,100
YOU ARE MUCH TOO YOUNG
TO SMOKE.
524
00:23:03,733 --> 00:23:06,300
AH. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
ABOUT ME USING
525
00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:08,333
YOUR CHILD-SUPPORT PAYMENTS
FOR PLASTIC SURGERY?
526
00:23:08,367 --> 00:23:09,500
STOP BEING SO NERVOUS.
527
00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:11,667
YOU'RE JUST ASKING HIM OUT
TO DINNER. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
528
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,133
YOU'RE RIGHT.
529
00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:16,233
SO IS THAT
YOUR PROJECT FOR SCHOOL?
530
00:23:16,267 --> 00:23:18,233
YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS IN FIFTH GRADE,
531
00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:19,400
I MADE THE WHITE HOUSE
OUT OF SUGAR CUBES.
532
00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:20,800
STOP STALLING AND GO
533
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,833
BEFORE MIKE FIGURES OUT
HE CAN DO BETTER.
534
00:23:22,867 --> 00:23:26,600
TELL ME AGAIN WHY I FOUGHT
FOR CUSTODY OF YOU.
535
00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:28,633
YOU WERE USING ME
TO HURT DAD.
536
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,333
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
537
00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:34,700
OH, GOD.
538
00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:43,233
HI.
539
00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:44,633
HEY, SUSAN.
540
00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,600
ARE YOU BUSY?
541
00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:47,767
NO, NOT AT ALL.
WHAT'S UP?
542
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,500
WELL, I --
543
00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:51,767
I JUST, UH,
WAS WONDERING IF, UM...
544
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,633
IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE
THAT YOU, UH...
545
00:23:55,667 --> 00:24:00,367
I-I JUST WANTED
TO ASK IF...
546
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,800
EDIE.
547
00:24:02,833 --> 00:24:04,067
HEY THERE, SUSAN.
548
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:05,367
WHAT ARE YOU --
549
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,067
I WAS MAKING AMBROSIA,
AND I MADE TOO MUCH,
550
00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:09,167
SO I THOUGHT
I'D BRING SOME OVER TO MIKE.
551
00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,433
WHAT'S GOING ON?
552
00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:13,100
UH, SUSAN WAS JUST
GOING TO ASK ME SOMETHING.
553
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,633
I HAVE A CLOG.
554
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,500
EXCUSE ME?
555
00:24:22,533 --> 00:24:23,833
AND YOU'RE A PLUMBER,
RIGHT?
556
00:24:23,867 --> 00:24:24,800
YEAH.
557
00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,367
THE CLOG'S IN THE PIPE.
558
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,300
YEAH, THAT'S USUALLY
WHERE THEY ARE.
559
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:30,167
WELL, I'VE GOT ONE.
560
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,067
OH, OKAY. WELL, UH,
LET ME GET MY TOOLS.
561
00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:33,833
NOW? YOU WANT
TO COME OVER NOW?
562
00:24:33,867 --> 00:24:35,600
YOU HAVE COMPANY.
563
00:24:35,633 --> 00:24:37,067
I DON'T MIND.
564
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,300
YEAH, JUST GIVE ME
TWO MINUTES.
565
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,400
I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
566
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:51,767
THAT'S IT. JUST STUFF
THE HAIR DOWN THERE.
567
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,533
I STUFFED IT.
IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO CLOG IT.
568
00:24:53,567 --> 00:24:55,600
HERE. OKAY, LOOK.
569
00:24:55,633 --> 00:24:57,133
PUT IN
THIS PEANUT BUTTER.
570
00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:00,833
AND THIS COOKING OIL.
571
00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:03,500
MOM --
AND THESE OLIVES.
572
00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:05,300
MOM, I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S NOT WORKING.
573
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:06,267
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
574
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:07,600
OH, GOD.
575
00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:08,833
THAT'S HIM.
576
00:25:08,867 --> 00:25:11,500
HOW AM I GOING
TO STOP UP THE SINK?
577
00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,467
WELL, HERE'S YOUR PROBLEM.
578
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:22,633
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY STUFFED
579
00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:24,533
A BUNCH OF POPSICLE STICKS
DOWN HERE.
580
00:25:24,567 --> 00:25:27,633
I'VE TOLD JULIE A MILLION TIMES
NOT TO PLAY IN THE KITCHEN.
581
00:25:27,667 --> 00:25:29,633
KIDS, YOU KNOW?
582
00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:31,567
HA HA.
583
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:36,200
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GO PUT IN YOUR ORDERS,
584
00:25:36,233 --> 00:25:37,700
AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH YOUR DRINKS
585
00:25:37,733 --> 00:25:39,067
AND YOUR PLATES
FOR THE SALAD BAR.
586
00:25:39,067 --> 00:25:40,267
THANK YOU.
587
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:43,733
ANDREW, DANIELLE,
NAPKINS?
588
00:25:43,767 --> 00:25:47,233
THEY HAVE VIDEO GAMES.
589
00:25:47,267 --> 00:25:49,467
COULD WE GO PLAY
UNTIL OUR FOOD GETS HERE?
590
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,233
ANDREW, THIS IS
FAMILY TIME.
591
00:25:51,267 --> 00:25:53,600
I THINK
THAT WE SHOULD ALL --
GO AHEAD AND PLAY.
592
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,067
I KNOW THAT YOU THINK
I'M ANGRY ABOUT COMING HERE,
593
00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:05,433
BUT I'M NOT.
594
00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:07,100
YOU AND THE KIDS
WANTED A CHANGE OF PACE,
595
00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:08,500
SOMETHING FUN.
596
00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:10,233
I GET IT.
597
00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,167
PROBABLY WE'LL WANT
SOMETHING HEALTHIER
598
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,433
TOMORROW NIGHT, THOUGH.
599
00:26:13,467 --> 00:26:15,300
I'M THINKING ABOUT
CHICKEN SALTIMBOCCA.
600
00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:18,567
I WANT A DIVORCE.
601
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:23,067
I JUST CAN'T LIVE
IN THIS --
602
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:25,267
THIS DETERGENT COMMERCIAL
ANYMORE.
603
00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,633
THE SALAD BAR'S
RIGHT OVER THERE.
604
00:26:27,667 --> 00:26:29,400
HELP YOURSELF.
605
00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:31,433
THANK YOU.
606
00:26:31,467 --> 00:26:36,600
UM, I THINK I'LL GO
GET YOUR SALAD FOR YOU.
607
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:49,800
BREE VAN DE KAMP.
608
00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:50,800
OH.
609
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:52,500
HELLO, MRS. HUBER.
610
00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:55,400
WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TALK
AT MARY ALICE'S WAKE.
611
00:26:55,433 --> 00:26:57,333
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
612
00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:59,733
BREE LONGED
TO SHARE THE TRUTH
613
00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:02,833
ABOUT HER HUSBAND'S
PAINFUL BETRAYAL,
614
00:27:02,867 --> 00:27:04,267
BUT SADLY FOR BREE,
615
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:06,333
ADMITTING DEFEAT
WAS NOT AN OPTION.
616
00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:07,800
GREAT.
617
00:27:07,833 --> 00:27:10,533
EVERYTHING IS JUST GREAT.
618
00:27:10,567 --> 00:27:12,667
OKAY, WELL, I GOT YOU
THE HONEY MUSTARD DRESSING.
619
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,367
THE RANCH LOOKED
JUST A LITTLE BIT SUSPECT.
620
00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,533
ARE WE GOING TO TALK
ABOUT WHAT I SAID?
621
00:27:26,567 --> 00:27:28,067
IF YOU THINK I'M GOING
TO DISCUSS
622
00:27:28,067 --> 00:27:29,700
THE DISSOLUTION OF MY MARRIAGE
IN A PLACE
623
00:27:29,733 --> 00:27:31,700
WHERE THE RESTROOMS ARE
LABELED "CHICKS" AND "DUDES,"
624
00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,300
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.
625
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,200
WHAT'S IN THIS?
626
00:27:37,233 --> 00:27:39,333
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHAT'S IN THIS? IT'S SALAD.
627
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,333
[ Coughs ]
WITH -- WITH ONIONS?
628
00:27:41,367 --> 00:27:42,433
WHAT?
629
00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:44,200
YOU PUT ONIONS
IN MY SALAD.
630
00:27:44,233 --> 00:27:45,433
NO, I DIDN'T.
631
00:27:45,467 --> 00:27:47,100
[ WHEEZES ]
632
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,233
OH, WAIT.
633
00:27:51,267 --> 00:27:54,100
[ METALLIC SCRAPING ]
634
00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:01,467
THE SOUND
THAT AWAKENED MY SON
635
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,267
WAS SOMETHING HE'D HEARD
ONLY ONCE BEFORE,
636
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,600
MANY YEARS AGO
WHEN HE WAS QUITE YOUNG,
637
00:28:07,633 --> 00:28:11,467
BUT HE RECOGNIZED IT
INSTANTLY.
638
00:28:18,267 --> 00:28:21,233
IT WAS THE SOUND
OF A FAMILY SECRET.
639
00:28:40,267 --> 00:28:42,433
Mary Alice: SEVEN DAYS
AFTER MY FUNERAL,
640
00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:46,533
LIFE ON WISTERIA LANE
FINALLY RETURNED TO NORMAL,
641
00:28:46,567 --> 00:28:48,567
WHICH, FOR SOME OF MY FRIENDS...
642
00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:51,233
WAS UNFORTUNATE.
643
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,533
MOMMY, MOMMY!
644
00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:55,533
NOW WHAT?
645
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,100
DADDY'S HOME!
646
00:28:57,133 --> 00:28:58,633
[ BOYS CHEERING ]
647
00:28:58,667 --> 00:29:00,300
HA HA.
648
00:29:00,333 --> 00:29:01,800
HEY, IS ANYBODY HOME?
649
00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,733
HEY!
650
00:29:03,767 --> 00:29:05,667
HEY.
651
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:07,433
I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU
FOR A WEEK.
652
00:29:07,467 --> 00:29:09,767
I HAVE TO GO BACK TO FRISCO
IN THE MORNING,
653
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,700
BUT I GOT YOUR CALL.
YOU SOUNDED A LITTLE FRAZZLED.
654
00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,500
YEAH.
655
00:29:13,533 --> 00:29:15,067
IT'S BEEN
A LITTLE ROUGH.
656
00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:16,467
HI. YEAH.
MMM, PEACHES.
657
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,300
DADDY, DID YOU BRING US
ANY PRESENTS?
658
00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:21,100
OH, GOD, PRESENTS.
WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME SEE.
659
00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:27,167
OH.
[ BOYS CHEER ]
660
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,767
BUT I'M NOT GOING
TO GIVE IT TO YOU
661
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,633
UNLESS YOU PROMISE ME
TO GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW
662
00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:32,600
AND PRACTICE THROWING IT
FOR 20 MINUTES, OKAY?
663
00:29:32,633 --> 00:29:34,167
YOU PROMISE?
664
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,200
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
GET OUT OF HERE. GO.
665
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:39,767
WHO'S OPEN? GO OUT!
DEEPER! DEEPER!
666
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:40,833
TOUCHDOWN!
667
00:29:40,867 --> 00:29:43,367
OH, MY GOD. OH.
668
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:45,633
HA HA HA.
669
00:29:45,667 --> 00:29:47,133
OH.
670
00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:49,433
OH, YOU GOT
TO BE KIDDING.
671
00:29:49,467 --> 00:29:51,400
I'M EXHAUSTED.
I LOOK TERRIBLE.
672
00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:53,067
I'M COVERED IN PEACHES.
673
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:55,067
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY.
I GOT TO HAVE YOU.
674
00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:58,400
WELL, IS IT OKAY
IF I JUST LIE HERE?
675
00:29:58,433 --> 00:30:01,367
ABSOLUTELY. HA HA.
676
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,100
HA HA HA.
677
00:30:03,133 --> 00:30:04,400
I LOVE YOU.
678
00:30:04,433 --> 00:30:07,233
AND I LOVE YOU MORE.
679
00:30:07,267 --> 00:30:08,567
OH, BABY.
680
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,767
OH, WAIT,
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
681
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:10,833
I WAS HAVING TROUBLE
WITH SWELLING,
682
00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:12,233
SO THE DOCTOR
TOOK ME OFF THE PILL,
683
00:30:12,267 --> 00:30:13,400
SO YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO PUT ON A CONDOM.
684
00:30:13,433 --> 00:30:14,367
CONDOM?
685
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,400
YEAH.
686
00:30:15,433 --> 00:30:16,700
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
LET'S RISK IT.
687
00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:18,567
LET'S RISK IT?
688
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,500
YEAH.
689
00:30:24,367 --> 00:30:26,233
OH. [ Groans ]
690
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:31,233
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU TRIED TO KILL ME.
691
00:30:31,267 --> 00:30:33,233
YES, WELL,
I FEEL BADLY ABOUT THAT.
692
00:30:33,267 --> 00:30:36,133
I TOLD YOU, MRS. HUBER
CAME OVER, AND I GOT DISTRACTED.
693
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,767
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
694
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,100
SINCE WHEN
DO YOU MAKE MISTAKES?
695
00:30:39,133 --> 00:30:41,567
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
696
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,600
IT MEANS I'M SICK OF YOU BEING
SO DAMN PERFECT ALL THE TIME.
697
00:30:45,633 --> 00:30:49,233
I-I'M SICK OF THE BIZARRE WAY
YOUR HAIR DOESN'T MOVE.
698
00:30:49,267 --> 00:30:51,200
I'M SICK OF YOU
MAKING OUR BED IN THE MORNING
699
00:30:51,233 --> 00:30:53,200
BEFORE I'VE EVEN
USED THE BATHROOM.
700
00:30:53,233 --> 00:30:55,667
YOU'RE THIS PLASTIC
SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE
701
00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:57,233
WITH HER PEARLS
AND HER SPATULA
702
00:30:57,267 --> 00:31:00,567
WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE "WE OWE
THE HENDERSONS A DINNER."
703
00:31:02,867 --> 00:31:04,800
WHERE'S THE WOMAN
I FELL IN LOVE WITH...
704
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:09,267
WHO USED TO
BURN THE TOAST
705
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:11,233
AND DRINK MILK
OUT OF THE CARTON...
706
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,133
AND LAUGH?
707
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:20,433
I NEED HER.
708
00:31:20,467 --> 00:31:23,133
NOT THIS COLD, PERFECT THING
YOU'VE BECOME.
709
00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:31,467
THESE NEED WATER.
710
00:31:44,433 --> 00:31:46,533
BREE SOBBED QUIETLY
IN THE RESTROOM
711
00:31:46,567 --> 00:31:48,067
FOR FIVE MINUTES,
712
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:51,300
BUT HER HUSBAND NEVER KNEW,
713
00:31:51,333 --> 00:31:55,433
BECAUSE WHEN BREE
FINALLY EMERGED...
714
00:31:55,467 --> 00:31:59,500
SHE WAS PERFECT.
715
00:32:05,267 --> 00:32:07,167
I FOUND MY EARRINGS.
WE CAN GO NOW.
716
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,533
WAS JOHN HERE TODAY?
717
00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:11,067
WELL, YEAH.
718
00:32:11,067 --> 00:32:13,267
THE LAWN HASN'T BEEN MOWED.
719
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,433
I'VE HAD IT.
720
00:32:14,467 --> 00:32:15,733
WE'RE GETTING
A REAL GARDENER.
721
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,200
WHY?
ARE YOU DEAF?
722
00:32:17,233 --> 00:32:19,567
I JUST SAID
HE'S NOT DOING HIS JOB.
723
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,700
IT'S DARK. YOU JUST CAN'T SEE
THAT THE LAWN HAS BEEN MOWED.
724
00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:24,367
IT HASN'T BEEN.
FEEL THIS GRASS.
725
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,567
I'M NOT FEELING
THE GRASS.
726
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,233
LET'S JUST GET GOING.
COME ON.
727
00:32:27,267 --> 00:32:28,533
WE'RE LATE.
728
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,533
TAKE CARE OF IT.
YES, SIR.
729
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,467
THERE'S TANAKA.
730
00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,433
TIME FOR ME
TO GO INTO MY DANCE.
731
00:32:46,467 --> 00:32:47,700
GOOD LUCK, SWEETHEART.
732
00:32:51,233 --> 00:32:52,400
OH, EXCUSE ME.
MA'AM?
733
00:32:52,433 --> 00:32:54,833
YOU SEE THAT MAN
WHO JUST WALKED AWAY?
734
00:32:54,867 --> 00:32:56,833
CAN YOU MAKE SURE
HE HAS A DRINK IN HIS HAND
735
00:32:56,867 --> 00:32:59,533
ALL NIGHT LONG?
736
00:32:59,567 --> 00:33:01,567
YES, MA'AM.
737
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:28,800
OOH!
738
00:33:34,267 --> 00:33:35,533
OOH!
739
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,433
SUSAN?
740
00:34:35,467 --> 00:34:36,167
SUSAN.
741
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,500
OH, MRS. HUBER,
HOW YOU DOING?
742
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:38,600
NOT TOO WELL,
I'M AFRAID.
743
00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:41,467
I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING
TO SOOTHE MY STOMACH.
744
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:42,667
OH, IT'S UPSET?
745
00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,067
YEAH.
746
00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:45,500
I HAD THE WORST MACARONI
AND CHEESE AT THE WAKE.
747
00:34:45,533 --> 00:34:47,067
IT'S BEEN RUNNING
THROUGH ME EVER SINCE.
748
00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:48,067
OH.
749
00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:49,500
AND I NEED
TO BE AT MY BEST.
750
00:34:49,533 --> 00:34:52,067
EDIE BRITT'S SON
IS SPENDING THE NIGHT TONIGHT.
751
00:34:52,067 --> 00:34:54,533
HE'S SPENDING THE NIGHT?
752
00:34:54,567 --> 00:34:56,100
APPARENTLY, EDIE IS HAVING
A GENTLEMAN FRIEND
753
00:34:56,133 --> 00:34:57,433
OVER FOR DINNER,
754
00:34:57,467 --> 00:34:59,333
AND I THINK SHE PLANS
ON ENTERTAINING
755
00:34:59,367 --> 00:35:02,067
INTO THE WEE HOURS,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
756
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,767
OH, HERE'S SOME ANTACID.
757
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,100
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS?
758
00:35:08,133 --> 00:35:09,367
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
759
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,433
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.
760
00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:13,267
MIKE CAN'T LIKE EDIE
BETTER THAN ME. HE JUST CAN'T.
761
00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:14,600
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.
762
00:35:14,633 --> 00:35:16,600
MAYBE THEY'RE JUST
HAVING DINNER.
763
00:35:17,567 --> 00:35:20,167
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THEY'RE DOING IT.
764
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,400
EDIE?
765
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,700
EDIE?
766
00:35:52,433 --> 00:35:54,067
HELLO?
767
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:55,333
ANYBODY HOME?
768
00:35:58,467 --> 00:36:00,233
I NEED TO BORROW SUGAR.
769
00:36:00,267 --> 00:36:01,567
Marvin Gaye: * COME ON
770
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,533
* OH, COME ON
771
00:36:03,567 --> 00:36:04,733
* WHOO
772
00:36:04,767 --> 00:36:07,133
* LET'S GET IT ON
773
00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:10,233
* OW, BABY
774
00:36:10,267 --> 00:36:13,500
* LET'S GET IT ON
775
00:36:13,533 --> 00:36:15,600
* LET'S LOVE, BABY
776
00:36:15,633 --> 00:36:16,567
* LET'S GET IT ON
777
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:17,567
Edie: OH, MY GOD.
778
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,100
OH, YES.
779
00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:20,800
OH, MY GOD.
GIVE IT TO ME.
780
00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:22,633
Mary Alice: AND JUST LIKE THAT,
781
00:36:22,667 --> 00:36:24,767
THE POSSIBILITY
SUSAN HAD CLUNG TO,
782
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,800
THE MAYBE
OF MIKE DELFINO,
783
00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:31,800
WAS GONE FOREVER.
784
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:34,267
AND DESPITE THE PRECARIOUSNESS
OF HER SITUATION,
785
00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:37,333
SUSAN TOOK A MOMENT
TO MOURN HER LOSS.
786
00:36:46,433 --> 00:36:48,200
[ GASPS ]
787
00:36:48,233 --> 00:36:49,233
OH!
788
00:36:49,267 --> 00:36:51,233
OH, MY GOD.
789
00:36:55,767 --> 00:36:58,267
OH! OH.
790
00:37:02,267 --> 00:37:05,467
IT DIDN'T TAKE SUSAN LONG
TO REALIZE
791
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:08,233
THIS WAS JUST NOT HER NIGHT.
792
00:37:08,267 --> 00:37:10,067
Edie: IS SOMEBODY
OUT THERE?
793
00:37:10,067 --> 00:37:11,733
[ SMOKE DETECTOR BEEPING ]
794
00:37:11,767 --> 00:37:14,233
OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S SMOKE!
795
00:37:18,667 --> 00:37:19,700
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
796
00:37:19,733 --> 00:37:23,533
Woman on radio: CODE 14,
CALL FIREFIGHTERS 130, 92,
797
00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:27,200
SCOUT 24, PATROLMAN 42...
798
00:37:30,433 --> 00:37:33,567
CANDLES UNATTENDED
IN THE DEN.
799
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,167
PARAMEDICS SAID SHE WAS LUCKY.
SHE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
800
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,167
OH.
801
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,367
SHE RAN OUT
WITH NOTHING ON.
802
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,800
SHE WAS HAVING SEX WITH SOME GUY
WHEN THE FIRE STARTED.
803
00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:43,733
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
804
00:37:43,767 --> 00:37:46,267
HE GOT SMOKE INHALATION.
HE'S AT THE HOSPITAL.
805
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,833
SUSAN,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
806
00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:50,367
YOU LOOK AWFUL.
807
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,200
I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.
808
00:37:52,233 --> 00:37:54,100
I-I JUST, UH...
809
00:37:54,133 --> 00:37:57,533
FEEL REALLY BAD
FOR EDIE.
810
00:37:57,567 --> 00:37:58,567
OH, HONEY,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT EDIE.
811
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,700
SHE'S A STRONG LADY.
812
00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:00,667
ABSOLUTELY.
813
00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:01,833
SHE'LL GET THROUGH THIS.
814
00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:03,700
SHE'LL FIND A WAY
TO SURVIVE.
815
00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:06,200
WE ALL DO.
816
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:09,700
COME ON.
817
00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:14,233
ARE YOU READY?
818
00:38:14,267 --> 00:38:18,067
SHE'S LUCKY
TO BE ALIVE.
819
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:20,567
ALL THE OTHER HOUSES
COULD HAVE CAUGHT ON FIRE.
820
00:38:27,067 --> 00:38:28,500
WOW, WHAT HAPPENED?
821
00:38:28,533 --> 00:38:30,367
MIKE.
822
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,100
AND SUDDENLY,
THERE HE WAS,
823
00:38:32,133 --> 00:38:33,600
LIKE A PHOENIX
RISING FROM THE ASHES.
824
00:38:33,633 --> 00:38:36,467
I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE --
825
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,267
UH, WHERE WERE YOU?
826
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:40,100
I JUST GOT BACK
FROM THE MOVIES.
827
00:38:40,133 --> 00:38:41,733
EDIE HAD A FIRE, HUH?
828
00:38:41,767 --> 00:38:43,233
YEAH.
829
00:38:43,267 --> 00:38:46,633
YEAH, BUT SHE'S FINE NOW.
830
00:38:46,667 --> 00:38:48,133
EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW.
831
00:38:48,167 --> 00:38:51,833
AND JUST LIKE THAT,
SUSAN WAS HAPPY.
832
00:38:51,867 --> 00:38:53,667
LIFE WAS SUDDENLY FULL OF...
833
00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:55,633
POSSIBILITIES.
834
00:39:00,733 --> 00:39:04,600
NOT TO MENTION
A FEW UNEXPECTED SURPRISES.
835
00:39:08,767 --> 00:39:09,700
Man: HELLO?
836
00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:10,700
HEY, IT'S ME.
837
00:39:10,733 --> 00:39:12,067
DO YOU HAVE
ANYTHING YET?
838
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:14,433
NO. NO, NOTHING YET,
BUT DON'T WORRY.
839
00:39:14,467 --> 00:39:17,133
I'M DEFINITELY
GETTING CLOSER.
840
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,633
Susan: I BROUGHT
SOME CHAMPAGNE.
841
00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:28,300
I THOUGHT
WE SHOULD HAVE A TOAST.
842
00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:30,433
THE NEXT DAY,
MY FRIENDS CAME TOGETHER
843
00:39:30,467 --> 00:39:33,667
TO PACK AWAY MY CLOTHES,
MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS,
844
00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:36,300
AND WHAT WAS LEFT
OF MY LIFE.
845
00:39:38,233 --> 00:39:40,267
ALL RIGHT, LADIES,
LIFT 'EM UP.
846
00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:41,467
TO MARY ALICE --
847
00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:43,300
A GOOD FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR.
848
00:39:43,333 --> 00:39:45,367
WHEREVER YOU ARE,
WE HOPE YOU'VE FOUND PEACE.
849
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:46,333
Bree: TO MARY ALICE.
850
00:39:46,367 --> 00:39:48,333
TO MARY ALICE.
851
00:39:54,433 --> 00:39:56,400
LET'S GET
THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
852
00:39:56,433 --> 00:39:58,833
YOU GUYS CHECK OUT
MARY ALICE'S CLOTHES?
853
00:39:58,867 --> 00:40:00,767
SIZE 8? HA.
854
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,100
SHE ALWAYS TOLD ME
SHE WAS A SIZE 6.
855
00:40:03,133 --> 00:40:05,033
GUESS WE FOUND THE SKELETON
IN HER CLOSET.
856
00:40:05,067 --> 00:40:07,333
NOT QUITE, GABRIELLE.
NOT QUITE.
857
00:40:07,367 --> 00:40:08,733
WHAT'S THAT?
858
00:40:08,767 --> 00:40:10,633
IT'S A LETTER
ADDRESSED TO MARY ALICE.
859
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:11,833
HOW IRONIC --
860
00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,700
TO HAVE SOMETHING I TRIED
SO DESPERATELY TO KEEP SECRET
861
00:40:14,733 --> 00:40:16,600
TREATED SO CASUALLY.
862
00:40:16,633 --> 00:40:18,367
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THAT'S PRIVATE.
863
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,033
IT'S OPEN.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
864
00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:33,067
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
865
00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,367
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT CHECK OUT THE POSTMARK.
866
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,500
OH, MY GOD.
SHE GOT IT THE DAY SHE DIED.
867
00:40:37,533 --> 00:40:40,433
DO YOU THINK
THIS IS WHY SHE...
868
00:40:40,467 --> 00:40:43,300
I'M SO SORRY, GIRLS.
869
00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,767
I NEVER WANTED YOU
TO BE BURDENED WITH THIS.
870
00:40:47,433 --> 00:40:50,600
OH, MARY ALICE,
WHAT DID YOU DO?
59936
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