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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,480 This programme contains very strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature. 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,080 Oi! Mmm? Nic, look. 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,760 Come here. 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,160 SHE LAUGHS What? 5 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,720 I made you something. 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,200 I wrote "merry Xmas" in the snow. 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,120 THEY LAUGH 8 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,760 How did you do the X? 9 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,720 Well, thank you for asking. I did a line... Mm-hm. 10 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,280 ..and I stopped mid-flow and I readjusted 11 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,480 and I finished the other line. 12 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,200 That's really great. Yeah? OK. 13 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,600 Where's this...train? 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,400 Oh, my God, there's a pound there. 15 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,160 I'm going to get you that pound. Do you want a pound? Oh, my God. 16 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,520 Don't! What are you doing? I'm getting you a pound! Don't! 17 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,280 Please! You'll get run... For Christmas! You'll get run over! 18 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,600 Oh, my God. 19 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,960 Oh, you're going to hurt yourself as well, you fucking... 20 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,840 HE BURPS Oh, God. Oh, bloody bhaji breath. 21 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,040 Train's here. Do you think? 22 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,800 HE SIGHS, SHE LAUGHS 23 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,360 Come back to mine and we can have a bath together. 24 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,560 What? That's so weird. 25 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,800 What? 26 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,200 I fucking love you. 27 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,600 SHE LAUGHS 28 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,280 BEEPING 29 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,520 I love you. 30 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,960 THEY LAUGH 31 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,480 Your coat's stuck in...! You need to get help! 32 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,360 THEY LAUGH 33 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,160 Can you pull it from your side? Oh, God. 34 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,560 I just... Can you open the...? 35 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,560 Door's not opening. 36 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,600 Push it. 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,480 Open the doors! Pull your coat! I'm trying! I... 38 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,840 TRAIN CLANKS Stop the fucking train! 39 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,280 Stop the train! 40 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,880 SHE SHRIEKS 41 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,840 HE YELLS 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,560 TV ON, GASPS 43 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,000 She is vile. A pig. 44 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,880 A pig, a big toxic pig. 45 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,720 She's just a narcissist. 46 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,680 Narcissist! Exactly that. 47 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,880 You know what I don't get is lip fillers. 48 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,440 Because you know when someone's had it done, 49 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,680 it's that sort of duck bottom. 50 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,600 You haven't seen Mr Meowgi? He hasn't touched his biscuit. 51 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,080 No. No. 52 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,480 Well, it's time to go. 53 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,360 One minute. 54 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,800 Mum! School! Gotta go to school. Two minutes. 55 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,520 Just let me watch the end of this. You know what? 56 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,840 Oh, my God. 57 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,920 That's so unfair. 58 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,840 Meow! 59 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,480 Come on, we're going to be late again! 60 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,080 Just looking for my glasses. 61 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,840 They're on your head, you doughnut! Ugh. 62 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,360 Yeah. Don't say the word doughnut, 63 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,360 you sound like a Love Island contestant. 64 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,400 Wait. No. Wait! 65 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,840 No. We're late. 66 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,160 Oh, God. 67 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,480 Bloody Lucy. 68 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,480 Bet you she doesn't offer us a lift. Don't, Mum. All right? 69 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,560 Don't! Yeah. We're late again. 70 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,600 Oh, no. Yeah. 71 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,360 We'll walk! All right, good luck! Bye! 72 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,680 I can't believe she didn't offer us a lift. 73 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,520 You don't like her anyway. I know I don't like her anyway, but... 74 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,360 ..you know, I'd like a lift. 75 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,200 Do you think it's because I haven't signed up 76 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,520 to help with the hedgehog hunt? 77 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,640 I'm not going to make a potato salad for that. Mum? 78 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,520 Cow bag. Mum! 79 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,960 Please...let it go. 80 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,040 SHE SIGHS I can't. I can't let it go. 81 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,760 Oh, come on, Mum. I'm too cross. 82 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,760 Really, really, really rude. All right. 83 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,480 I had a dream last night. 84 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,320 She did offer us a lift, and I was so shocked, 85 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,440 and then I was trying to open the car door to get in, 86 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,320 and my fingers just turned into sort of like limp sausages. 87 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,840 And that is the curse. Deep in my psyche, 88 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,080 I know she wouldn't offer us a lift. 89 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,680 SCHOOL BELL RINGS 90 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,160 Good luck! Bye! 91 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,760 Come on, Mum. 92 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,200 You all right? Hey there. How was your drive? 93 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,200 Oh, lovely, thank you. Oh, lovely. Good for you. 94 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,440 Don't. 95 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,920 I know! I know, she's a pain. 96 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,080 Oh, are you having a problem with the gate? 97 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,960 It's Harry's first day, and I think I've deleted the email. 2-4-7-8. 98 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,760 Sorry, what? 2-4-7-8. 99 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:33,920 Pikachu! 100 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,320 # Gotta catch 'em all...# 101 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,000 Oh, my God. Amazing. 102 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,680 Thank you. No problem. 103 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,120 Ollie, please can you hand these out to everybody? Yes. 104 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,720 Otherwise it's just going to be Dennon that arrives, 105 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,360 and the girl with the nits. Um... 106 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,200 If they ask you why you were late, what are you going to say? 107 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,400 My legs hurts. Yes! Your legs hurt. Brilliant. 108 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,520 And...what else was I going to say? Oh, yes, I love you. 109 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,480 I love you. Whatever! 110 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,840 "I love you, too, Mum." "Do you really?" 111 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,280 "Yes, I really, really, really do." 112 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,800 TV: I just think you should know that he was seen last week 113 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,760 at the Argyle with a really hot girl. 114 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,440 Like, really hot. 115 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,880 What are you saying? 116 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,280 VEHICLE PULLS UP 117 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,760 Oh, fuck... 118 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,680 VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES 119 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,520 DOOR UNLOCKS 120 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,840 Oh, babe, I was just popping out. 121 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:32,360 Oh, my God. Are you all right? No. 122 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,600 What's wrong? Nic, I can't. 123 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,240 Nic, I can't. Viv, what's happened? 124 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,040 Viv, what's happened? Can I have a glass of water? Yeah. Oh, my God. 125 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,920 Look at that. Tell me what's happened. 126 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,160 Oh! Oh, God. Viv, you're scaring me. It was horrible. 127 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,640 Viv! 128 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,240 Viv. 129 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,320 Oh, God. 130 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,680 Viv, what happened? 131 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,320 I'm going to tell you! 132 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,360 I hit a pheasant. 133 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,080 And then what happened? 134 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,640 And its beak was like... 135 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,000 It was one of the worst experiences of my life. 136 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,760 Gosh. And I thought, "Oh, it'll get out the road. 137 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,640 "It'll get out the road now. Surely it'll get out the road." 138 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,840 And then I thought, "Oh, it's out the road." 139 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,280 But then it wasn't. No, no, it was out the road. 140 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,000 Oh, it was out the road. It was. 141 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,480 But then it went back in the road. Right. 142 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,360 Well, I mean, God has a plan for all of us. 143 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,000 Yeah, no, but, Nic, we've got to just... I've just got to... 144 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,680 Just please... Sorry, sorry. Yeah. 145 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,920 Just... We've got to do a little prayer. Oh, God. I can't... 146 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,280 I can't do... I've never done any... Just relax. 147 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,120 You've got a big, big spirit. I know you have. 148 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,160 Just anything that comes in your... 149 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,280 Pheasant, pheasant, er, 150 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,480 your death was unpleasant. Unpleasant. 151 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,880 Er, so sad you didn't know... Didn't... 152 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,840 ..the Highway Code. 153 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,000 Maybe that would have helped you cross the road. 154 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,240 Yeah. But hopefully you can cross over to heaven. 155 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,720 I mean... 156 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,920 Yeah. 157 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,160 I-I feel... 158 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,120 I feel like... He's gone. Yeah, gone. 159 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,800 Wow, thank you. Yeah. 160 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,320 I'm so sorry. 161 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,720 Yeah. 162 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,280 But I'm running really late... Oh. ..to see a friend. 163 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,640 Oh, OK. Who? 164 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,800 Tony. Oh. 165 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,800 Oh, all right. It's just... I just... 166 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,240 So you're just g... What... So what shall I do? 167 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,960 I mean, the kitchen, if that's all right. Oh, OK. 168 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,040 Start off in there. OK. 169 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,440 And the sink could do with a bit of a bleach. 170 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,680 Right. OK. Thank you, Viv. 171 00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,880 SHOUTING FROM VIDEO 172 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,200 SHE GASPS 173 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,040 Stop waving that around in my face like that. 174 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,840 Oh, my God, throw your wine at him. 175 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,880 Throw your wine at him, throw your wine at him. 176 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,920 SPLASH Yes! 177 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,440 Take that! 178 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,960 BLEEPING ON VIDEO 179 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,720 I will sue you... VIDEO STOPS 180 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,800 Oh, f... Oh, no! 181 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,880 That was the best bit. 182 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,720 Oh...bollocks. 183 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,360 Where the fuck's the cat gone? 184 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,960 Can't have gone out the gate, can he? 185 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,600 Did he eat his biscuits on Saturday? 186 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,080 He definitely came in for biscuits on Friday. 187 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,040 Oh, Christ knows. 188 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,680 Oh, she's still here. 189 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:42,880 Fuck. 190 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,080 SHE SIGHS 191 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,600 Stop the train! 192 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,960 SHE SCREAMS 193 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,440 WOMAN SCREAMS 194 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,560 Sorry. 195 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,000 Hello? 196 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,880 Sorry I'm late, I took the lads to the pub for lunch. 197 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,920 You all right, Dad? Hey! 198 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,160 BOTH: I feel the need - the need for speed. 199 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,160 You all right, mate? Yeah, I'm good. You OK? Yeah. 200 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,920 What's that? What? That? 201 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,080 Oh, er, Stuart spit wine on me over lunch. Idiot. 202 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,360 Just so annoying. 203 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,640 Any news on Mr Meowgi? Oh, God. 204 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,680 I put a post on Facebook, right, 205 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,200 and the only person that commented on it 206 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,880 was a random woman called Jackie Trinder. 207 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,000 You'll never guess what she said. What? 208 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,320 Just wrote "lol". That's helpful. 209 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,280 You know, I've lost my cat, I've got a distraught son, 210 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,840 I've got this 50-year-old woman trolling me. 211 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,320 It's extraordinary. 212 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,120 I have a horrible feeling he's got trapped in some fence somewhere 213 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,880 because he's such a fat fuck. 214 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,160 Have you tried just standing outside the back door 215 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,840 with an electric can-opener? No, thank you. 216 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,000 God, Lucy was really off with me today. 217 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,600 I thought you didn't like Lucy. 218 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,040 I don't like Lucy but I want her to like me. 219 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,480 Why? Possibly because I'm insecure and I've got no mates. 220 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,080 HE BURPS AND FARTS 221 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,960 I wasn't a dick at Helen and Rob's, was I? 222 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,840 I didn't get too pissed. 223 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,920 No, you were funny. I thought I was funny. 224 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,560 I was funny. 225 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,920 I was really, really funny. 226 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,800 I'm not watching this shit. 227 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,720 TV: ..5ml lining paper, 228 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,880 which will eradicate any sort of imperfections. 229 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,480 My husband's going to be back any minute. 230 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,600 Oh! He'll know that you're not just here to sort out the plumbing! 231 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,880 I can hear his key in the door. 232 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,000 Oh, I can hear him coming up the stairs. 233 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,600 Oh, God. He's on the landing. I can hear him on the landing. 234 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,320 Ah! 235 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,200 MUSIC SWELLS 236 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,960 THEY LAUGH 237 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,680 Agh! Cramp. Oh, God, sorry. 238 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,360 Oh, shit. Sorry. Are you all right? 239 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,160 Just stretch it. Stretch my foot out. Yeah, yeah. 240 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,160 Pull the toes back. OK. Yeah, yeah. 241 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,320 Agh! I thought you were coming. 242 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,240 No, I wasn't coming. No? 243 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,480 Oh! You're not doing it properly. 244 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,280 Sorry. 245 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,680 Agh! Fucking hell. 246 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,000 Do you want me to...? 247 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,120 No, you're all right. 248 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,280 Agh. 249 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,320 SPLASHING 250 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,040 SHE SIGHS 251 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,920 HE SNORES 252 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,000 SHE SIGHS 253 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,720 SNORING CONTINUES 254 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,280 PHONE VIBRATES 255 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,240 Hello. 256 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,200 Hello... 257 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,000 HE MUMBLES 258 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,560 No... 259 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,000 We sort of lucked out at this stall because nobody comes here. 260 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,880 Everyone just bombs the hook-a-duck stall. Thank God for that! 261 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,440 It's Jen, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. 262 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:46,960 Sorry, should have said. You're Nic? 263 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,760 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Ollie's mum? 264 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,200 Yes. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. 265 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,840 Thank you for that invite, by the way. 266 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,480 Harry was really pleased. 267 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,600 No, it's just the teacher always makes us hands one out 268 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,240 to every child in the class, 269 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,520 so actually thank Mrs Morgan, not me. 270 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,640 OK. 271 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,840 SHE PUFFS 272 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,400 So who have you met so far? 273 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,880 Oh, who have I met? Just Lucy, really. 274 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,520 Yeah, she's really nice, isn't she? 275 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,680 Yeah. She's really nice. Really, really nice. 276 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:22,240 Just general salt of the earth, nice...lady. 277 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:26,280 I actually thought she was a bit of a cunt, to be honest with you. 278 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,240 Yes, she is. Yeah. You agree? 279 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,920 Yes, I do. OK, good. 280 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,360 Because it's not fair. 281 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,320 Some of them must be... Some of them must be nice. 282 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,800 Well, I've been here five years. 283 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,480 I've not made one single friend with a mum. 284 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,000 As they say, these things take time 285 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,800 but you've had five years! 286 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,040 Although I did see...tombola, Helen. 287 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,600 Got invited to Helen and Rob's the other day. Right. 288 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,560 I just got really smashed, just to be able to deal with it. Yeah. 289 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,640 She made everybody sit down at the dinner table 290 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,360 and she did a quiz. 291 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,600 Do you know what one of the questions was? What? 292 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,560 What's the Latin for cat? 293 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,280 What's the Latin for cat? 294 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,840 Cattus. Cattus. 295 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,640 Then she asked us, what is the Latin for rat? 296 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,920 What is it? Rattus. Rattus. 297 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,880 And then she asked us, what's the Latin for bat? 298 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,240 Is it battus? 299 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,760 No, it's vespertilio. Oh. 300 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,760 Oh, wow. You're great. 301 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,640 I try. 302 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,600 Mum, can you please explain the rules 303 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,000 of Splat The Rat to Dennon? 304 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,800 Is it a real rat? Because I don't want to hurt any animals. 305 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,120 No. Why not? 306 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,320 Because it's just not. 307 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,400 What do I get if I splat it? A Maoam. 308 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,440 Can I just give you 20p and have the Maoam without splatting it? 309 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,440 No, you can't. You can't do that because that's cheating. 310 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,040 All right. I'm going to leave you with my mum. What? Yeah. 311 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,960 Ollie, where are you going? Don't leave us with him! 312 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,080 Carl Collins says I've got eyes like a shark. 313 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,840 If I give you a load of Maoams, will you bugger off and never come back? 314 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,720 Mm. Yeah. 315 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,160 Er, yeah. 316 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,920 Done. Good deal is done. 317 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,320 There we go. 318 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,560 Knock yourself out. Bye. 319 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,320 Right, now that I know you're not going to judge me... 320 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,520 Yeah. 321 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,880 ..do you want some gin? 322 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,160 Oh, yes. I could kiss you. 323 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,480 Don't do that. 324 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,160 It'd make it weird. 325 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,200 Oh, well done! 326 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,040 Have you met Mr Graham yet? Who? 327 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,800 Mr Graham, PE teacher. 328 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,360 Christ, he's the PE teacher? 329 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,040 Yeah. He's a bit of me. 330 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,680 Yeah, he's a bit of me as well. I'm going to call him over. 331 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,840 Mr Graham! Don't. 332 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,880 Oh, hello. Ah! 333 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,440 Sorry. 334 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,480 How are you? How are you doing? All right. Oh, my gosh. Yes. 335 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,760 Sorry, I'm a little bit wet. Yeah. Aren't we all?! 336 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,680 Sorry. I don't know if we've met. 337 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,680 No, we haven't met. I'm Jen. 338 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,120 Oh, lovely to meet you, Jen. Nice to meet you, Mr Graham. 339 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,880 Yes, indeed. Yeah. Are you going to have a go? 340 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,920 Yeah, I'd love to have a go. What is this? Splat The Rat? Go on. 341 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,760 Nic, why don't you show Mr Graham how to, er... 342 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,080 Yeah, I will. Go on. Lots of skill on this. 343 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,400 So just swing. 344 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,040 Yeah. OK. Lovely. 345 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,640 God, you smell amazing. Is that Jean Paul Gaultier? 346 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,920 It is - you've got a good nose. 347 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,880 What are we you doing? What are we you doing? What are we you doing? 348 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,680 Splat The Rat! 349 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,480 You all right, Lucy? 350 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 351 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,120 Does the float need topping up? 352 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,520 No. Don't think so. 353 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,840 No? No. OK. 354 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,520 Well, I just spoke to Dennon's mum. 355 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,560 Did you give him sweets? 356 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,200 E-numbers? 357 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,000 I'm just saying he cannot have them 358 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,560 because they send him completely bonkers. 359 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,200 Oh, gosh! See what I mean. 360 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,560 It's pretty serious. 361 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,680 That wasn't us. We didn't do that. 362 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,600 Definitely not. Oh, no! I knew it wouldn't be you. 363 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,480 So then why did you ask us if we...? 364 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,240 Oh, by the way, I've spoken to Miss Moss 365 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,760 and the school are very happy for 20% of the proceeds 366 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,520 from today to go to Ollie. 367 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,680 Why? 368 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,640 For what? 369 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,880 I thought he might need... 370 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,120 Need what? 371 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,800 You know. 372 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,880 Equipment. 373 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,680 No. 374 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,800 No, no, no, no, no. 375 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,240 Um... OK. Well, if you need me, you know where I am, right? 376 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,040 I should probably... 377 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,560 You're going to go to hell. 378 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,040 Hello! 379 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,840 BOTH CHANT: We won some fish. 380 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,160 We won some fish. 381 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,320 We won a fish. 382 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,640 Hey, hey, I'll tell you what. 383 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,960 Why don't we... You go upstairs and I'll be up in a second, mate? 384 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,400 Yeah. OK. Yeah. 385 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,760 We won a fish. 386 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,000 # Ha-ha-ha-ha. # 387 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,680 We won a fish. 388 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,560 Hey. 389 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,520 HE SOBS 390 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,920 It's OK. 391 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,600 Oh, my gosh. 392 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,680 Where did you find him? 393 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,640 Oh, that's amazing. 394 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,520 Probably the best thing is if I... 395 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,120 Oh, God! Sorry. 396 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,120 Can I call you back in two seconds? 397 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,280 Oh. Hello. Oh, my God! 398 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,440 Did you just walk into the wheelie bin? Yes, I did. 399 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,280 You just walked into the wheelie bin. Oh, God. 400 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,440 Quite embarrassing. Everyone's really nosy around here. 401 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,200 They'll definitely have watched you do that. 402 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,160 Love these hanging baskets. Thanks. Yeah. 403 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,760 Mine never.... They always die. 404 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,280 Oh, it's just manure. 405 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,280 Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. 406 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,760 You lost your cat? No, I did lose my cat. 407 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,800 Found him now. Oh, great. 408 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,120 I mean, it would be great, but I've printed off 50 of these. 409 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,280 50? Yeah. Didn't need that many, did you? No. 410 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,360 Well, we should celebrate. Yes. 411 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,920 What are you doing tonight? Nothing. 412 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,840 Shall I come over? Bring Harry? 413 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,320 Love that. Bring some wine? 414 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,680 Yes. You know, there's vibes. 415 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,880 Let's do it. Great. Love it. Yeah. Great. Yeah, you've found your cat. 416 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,360 This is turning out to be a bloody good day. 417 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,640 Oh, hi. 418 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,200 "Hey, honey, I'm home." 419 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,760 Oh! 420 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,400 Look, he's home! I could tell straight away. 421 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,240 Sorry. It's not... 422 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,760 It's not Mr Meowgi. 423 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,360 Thought he looked exactly like him. 424 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,400 Yeah. I mean, Mr Meowgi's a tabby 425 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,320 and this one's ginger. It's my fault. 426 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,920 I should have put a colour photograph. 427 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,240 Just put a black-and-white one. But, yeah, I can see... 428 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,520 But the markings are the same. Similar, yeah. 429 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,680 Did you have to come far? 430 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,600 Yeah. You did? 431 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,920 I walked two miles. 432 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,760 Two miles. Gosh. With a cat. 433 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,160 So what shall I do with it? 434 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,320 I...don't know. 435 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,280 Can I leave him here with you? I don't want it, do I? 436 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,440 CAT HISSES Oh. I'm just going to... 437 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,960 Agh! Agh! 438 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,800 You evil little...! 439 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,960 Agh! 440 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,040 CAT YOWLS 441 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,600 I'll call the police. 442 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,280 What? Why have you locked the door? 443 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,920 It's you. I didn't realise. Sorry. 444 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,320 Sorry. Oh, God. Don't ask. 445 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,720 Who's that? 446 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,680 Who? Some woman chucked a cat 447 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,600 into Malcolm's garden and just ran off. 448 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,240 Oh, I've got a school mum and her son coming over tonight. 449 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,360 What? Why? You never invite people over. You feel all right? 450 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,680 Actually, she invited herself, but, I mean... Wow. 451 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,480 I sort of quite like that. 452 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,840 Must be love. Yeah, I suppose. 453 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,240 Oh, well, let me squeeze your tits and I'll take the kids out for you. 454 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,080 So, literally, he sent me this last Tuesday, then nothing since. 455 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,320 Like, how shitty is that? Shit. 456 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,840 He hasn't got time to WhatsApp me 457 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,320 but he's got time to like Demi Rose's fake arse on Instagram. 458 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,720 He's such a bitch. 459 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,160 BOTTLES CLANK 460 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,880 Like, if he keeps messing me around, 461 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,920 I'm going to start shagging that married bloke 462 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,320 and see how he likes that. 463 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,480 What, Mr Superdry? He doesn't only wear Superdry. 464 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,000 That's what you said. It's all right when I say it, Lauren, but not you. 465 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,480 Anything else? Er, yeah. 466 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,040 Do you think you could possibly put this up in your window? 467 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,400 DOORBELL CHIMES 468 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:19,240 Dan, they're here! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they are. 469 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,440 Hello, come in. Hello, Harry. 470 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,680 Hi, Ollie. Hi. Jen, this is Dan, 471 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,760 Dan, this is Jen. 472 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,960 Hi, I'm Jen. Hi. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 473 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,560 Dan. Right. Well, have a great time bowling. Where am I going? Bowling? 474 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,560 Yeah. Well, hang on. It's getting on a bit, innit? 475 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,600 Shall we just whack a film on? We've organised this. 476 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,240 By the time I get there... 477 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,600 OTHERS: Bowling. Bowling. Bowling. Bowling. 478 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,080 And it's a strike! 479 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,120 See you later. See you later. 480 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,480 Come on. 481 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,400 I've got to be really good tonight 482 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,720 because it's Ollie's birthday tomorrow. No, no, don't worry. 483 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,360 I have to say that out loud, 484 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,760 so it sounds like a good mum, but, yeah, let's get fucked. 485 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,320 Spill. One, two, three. 486 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,400 Whoopa! Whoopa! 487 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,360 # Sweat, baby, sweat, baby... # 488 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,800 Is that sambuca? 489 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,480 # You do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about 490 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,720 # So put your hands down my pants 491 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,400 # And I'll bet you'll feel... # 492 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,240 One, two, three... 493 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,000 I'm fine. 494 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,720 MUSIC BLARES Yeah, can I get one deep pan, um... 495 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,640 Um...deep pan. 496 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,040 Yeah, I don't want tomatoes. No tomatoes. No tomatoes. 497 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,520 Can I have that times not twice but thrice? 498 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,120 MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH 499 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,280 It makes you look like.... 500 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,400 Don't take this the wrong way. What? 501 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,160 I don't mean it to be rude. 502 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,560 What? That collar... 503 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,240 Yeah. ..is a little bit... 504 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,280 ..dear Lord. 505 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,440 BOTH: What a sad little life, Jane. 506 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,000 # Why can't you see? 507 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,680 # Slow it down, read the sign 508 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,120 # So you know just where you're going 509 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,720 # Stop right now Thank you very much 510 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,800 # I need somebody with a human touch 511 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,600 # Hey, you, always on the run 512 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,520 # Gotta slow it down, baby 513 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,920 # Gotta have some fun. # 514 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,840 I really, really liked him, 515 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,160 and then he sent me this voice note. Yeah. 516 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,600 And on the voice note, he said, "Goodnight." 517 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,200 Yeah. And then he said, 518 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,120 "Sweet dreams, baby girl." SHE RETCHES 519 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,680 I just felt like the disgust 520 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,080 sort of travel up through my vagina. 521 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,680 Holy Moley. And I just ghosted him after that. 522 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,600 I just totally... 523 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,360 DOOR OPENS Oh, hi. 524 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:42,720 Hi. Hey. 525 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,400 Oh, dear. 526 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,000 Good time? Yeah, it was fun, wasn't it? 527 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,440 Could you make up the bunk in Ollie's room 528 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,800 because we've got Jen and Harry staying tonight. 529 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,120 Oh, yes. Jen's going to sleep on the sofa. 530 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:57,040 Shoes off. Shoes off. 531 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,200 Dan! Dan! Dan! 532 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,200 Dan! Dan! Dan! 533 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,400 # Dan! Dan! 534 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,880 # Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan... # 535 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,880 It worked. It worked. It worked. 536 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,560 He's here. We're playing Silly Heads. Yeah. 537 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,440 No, it's not. It's Sticky Heads. 538 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,360 Whose idea was it to play this? 539 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:21,320 It was my idea. Oh, really. We've got a really good one for you. 540 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,920 Have you played this game before? 541 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,360 Yes. You have played it. 542 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,480 Of course I've played it before. You know the rules? 543 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,880 So you know how to play it. Who wants to go first? 544 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,200 You go first. You go first. 545 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,440 Yeah, DOM can go first. Dan! 546 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,000 Sorry. 547 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,120 What did I say? Dom! 548 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,160 Dom! Am I a bloke? Am I a man? 549 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,120 Yes. Yes. OK. 550 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,000 Am I a movie star? 551 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,680 Am I in the movies? No. No. 552 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,880 Survey says... Our survey says... Uh-uh! 553 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,360 Sorry. Yeah. Right. 554 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:54,280 So...am I Tom Jones? 555 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,560 Am I Tom Jones? You're not Tom Jones, no. I'm not! 556 00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,560 Where would you even get that from? I don't know. 557 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,840 Not a million miles away, though. Can I have a go? 558 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,000 Am I a man? 559 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,040 Ahh! Well, sort of, but... 560 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,320 I don't know. Not strictly. Not in the... 561 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,240 You're, like, a male. 562 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,800 You're male, yeah. You are male. 563 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,040 Where are you going? But you're not a male man. 564 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,600 She's so great. 565 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,120 SHE YELLS 566 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,160 That really scared me, actually. 567 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,760 Am I alive or am I dead? 568 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,640 Am I dead? Am I dead? Yeah. 569 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,160 Dead as a dildo. 570 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,560 Dodo! 571 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,240 Dead meat, yeah. 572 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,160 So probably like a royal, something like that. Yes. Yeah, you were. 573 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,360 That's easy. Henry VIII. Am I Henry VIII? 574 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,640 Oh, my God, are you joking? You cheated. 575 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,840 I did not cheat. No, I did not cheat. 576 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,960 I think you're a cheat. 577 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,720 You know what? I'm going to hit the hay. 578 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,840 Do you know what? Probably... Babe, I wouldn't get too crazy, 579 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,640 it's Ollie's birthday tomorrow. 580 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,640 Oh, don't go. Donnie Downer. 581 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,960 You'll be struggling tomorrow. 582 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,800 No, no, no. Goodnight. Goodnight. Bye, Dom. 583 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,640 Dan! 584 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,640 OK. Come on, girl. Crack that open. That's just... That's not fair. 585 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,720 Yeah, I know. They're always like that, blokes, aren't they? 586 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,960 Do you know what I really miss? What? 587 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,080 The one thing that I'm lacking in my life is, like, 588 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,760 real, intense kind of passion. 589 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,680 And, you know, like, when you're a teenager, 590 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,720 and you're feeling... It's like, as if your nerves 591 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,880 are exposed on your skin. 592 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,280 I've never had that with anyone. 593 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,280 Then you've missed out. How have you not had that? 594 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,800 You have? Yes, I have. 595 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,720 I've had that level of... 596 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,840 What, with... ..connection. 597 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,560 Not with him. Not with him. 598 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,080 No, with a guy... 599 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,640 It was a guy called Alex. 600 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,840 And the thing was, right, about him, 601 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,720 he wasn't, like, kind of textbook handsome. 602 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,840 Like, he was a bit hairy. 603 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,960 No, but funny. Really, really funny. 604 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,840 He's one of those people that gets the absolute minutiae. 605 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,680 It was like he was my twin flame. 606 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,280 Well, what happened? Did you break up, or...? 607 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,440 No, we were... I mean, it was an affair... 608 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,520 Oh, God. ..that was going on, 609 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,800 I mean, for, like, years and years and years. 610 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,200 While you were with Dan? Yeah. 611 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,760 Oh, mate. I know. 612 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,680 I'm never going to have that again. 613 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,080 What happened? Did you end it? 614 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,800 You don't still see him, do you? 615 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,560 No, I actually... 616 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,240 He, um... 617 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,040 BEEPING 618 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,880 You all right? Yeah. 619 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,600 I'm sorry. I just don't know... 620 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,800 Nic, are you all right? Yeah. 621 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:03,440 Oh, my God! Take your coat off! 622 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,600 Help him. 623 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,560 Oh, my God! The coat! 624 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,720 Pull the chord! Pull the chord! 625 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,400 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 626 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,320 TRAIN SLOWS 627 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,480 Oh, my God. 628 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,640 SHE GASPS 629 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,200 Oh! Oh, my God. 630 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,000 HE LAUGHS 631 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,440 Oh, look. My feet can't touch the ground. I'm literally dangling. 632 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,240 HE GASPS 633 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,000 I'm sorry. Oh, my God. 634 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000 There's no-one even here! 635 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,520 I nearly sh... 636 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,040 SHE SCREAMS 637 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,600 Nic, you all right?45243

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