Original subtitles

Dedicated to the first post communist generation

BELGRADE, SERBIA AUTUMN, 1996.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Together again, eh pal?

Shvaba's voice sounded like it was coming from under water.

The wounds had started to bleed again.

I felt they were biting their way through the bandages.

A matter of calibre, folks.

A calibre from which wounds barely heal.

Shvaba liked that calibre. A guy with taste.

Good to see you again, pal.

Shvaba, my buddy.

- Never mind the... what do you call it? - Consequences.

- No, when the situation is really fucked. - Circumstances.

That's the word. Fuck it,

The important thing is that we're together again.

I've always believed that shvaba would've been able

to say lots of funny and interesting things...

Get the fuck out of the way, you mice!

If it hadn't been for his war with words.

That's why I guess, it's up to me to tell this story.

Let's go back five years. Buckle up, folks, we're off.

BELGRADE, SERBIA.. AUTUMN, 1991.

Starring:

W o U N D S

shvaba and me grew up in a really dodgy area.

Breeze blocks, folks, if you know what I mean?

If you don't, who gives a fuck?

We have to decide who plays who.

Why do I always have to be the Croat?

Your old man was a Croat.

- A Slovenian. - Same shit, different wrapping.

What's wrong with you?

- Diabola... - We're not kids any more to be throwing

- stones at each other. - Your Mum's Slovenian, isn't she?

I've heard that Slovenians fuck themselves senseless.

Shvaba's joking, they only give good head.

Suck my dick!

Ustashan cunt!

Ustashan cunt!

Kosovian!

Kosovian!

Kosovian...

Cunt!

Kosovian!

Diabola.

Cunt!

I'm not a Croat!

You're not a Serb either! Serbs don't cry like pussies.

- Get it? - Yes.

Bro', do you hear that? Ours are coming! Serbia!

Now you're fucked!

That autumn, everyone in our neighbourhood was

into watching the tanks on their way to croatia.

Well, almost everyone.

Those damn tanks, look at the filth!

My Mum wasn't to keen on them.

It's a shame about all those flowers...

My dad was angry with the army for forcing him into

early retirement. Thirty fucking years waiting for war

and he didn't even get a look in.

Granny, they're great, eh?

Shvaba's Granny wasn't very keen on them either.

Of course, for Granny the war was just a re-run.

Good morning, neighbour.

If you spill that pigs swill down here again, you'll have

to give me head and lick the terrace at the same time!

You bitch! This isn't your shithole Dubrovnik,

- this is Serbia! -Whimp! - Serbia, you trash!

Learn what's law and order!

You've mixed it all up. Her late husband was a Croat,

- she's our. - Ours, my arse, with such behaviour!

You'd be better off getting your gun and defending those

- people there. - Fuck you!

But they retired you, whimp.

- Because you're not right in the head. - Fuck you!

Besides the tanks and the news,

everyone in the neighbourhood was into dijabola's Mum.

Lydia works on TV, folks.

She'll be important for our story much later.

For now, remember her well, just like I did.

- What are you doing, you idiot! - Son!

Somehow it happened that I started wanking that year.

At the same time we were shelling Vukovar.

Go for it... Go for it.

They'll destroy the town.

When we get rid of the Ustasha's,

we'll build a nicer one, like Paris.

The liberation of serbian Vukovar

from the jaws of the Ustashan monster

is becoming an inevitable reality.

Paris, my arse. Even better. Isn't that right, Ugljesha?

The citizens are coming out of their cellars

greeting their liberators with flowers, tears of joy

and a thousand and one thanks.

A year later we were shelling sarajevo.

And we were put under sanctions.

You'll see! When the CIA get their satellite pictures

and see that we've piled the beef on under sanctions!

Clington!

One of the greatest crimes in the history of civilisation:

Yugoslavia has been severely punished

by the international police.

But unjust and unprovoked sanctions won't brake serbia,

whose people are fond of saying:

No one can harm us, we are stronger than destiny,

let them hate us, those who don't like us...

The wisdom fo the people is much more powerful

than American forces.

He's locked himself in again! Son...

When I put the toilet under sanctions, you'll shit

outside the building. Come out of there!

I couldn't have given a toss about sanctions or the war.

Literally, folks.

I was wanking five times a day at least!

- Come out of there! - Son, are you all right?

What does life has to offer a thirteen-year-old lad?

Just wanking!

Come out of there before you fall down the bog!

ABoUT IDoLS

My dad had idols, too.

At first he slobbered over some croat Tito.

Then he had a thing for Milosevic,

like everyone else in our neighbourhood.

- Neighbour be quiet! - Come and see what I'm hanging up.

If you don't like it, I'll hang you on my todger, mate!

Bloody oppositionist!

Son, have you got a bad stomach again?

Fucking democrats! Is that quiet enough, eh?!

The things us kids loved were a lot more down to earth.

Our only hero was the neighbour from across the way.

How was it?

Crazy Kure! Just back from a business trip to Germany.

The West is a miracle. I'll take you there sometime.

I want to go to Munich.

Munich, Frankfort, Dusseldorf, Cologne...

Shvaba, come here!

Did anyone pick on you, eh? Look at this!

- Thanks, uncle Kure! - Uncle Kure!

Shall I wash your car for you?

Take a hike, four eyes!

What are you staring at, Shvaba? Take that in!

- Can Pinki give us a hand? - Him?

Versace...

Yeah, all right. Come on, Shvaba.

- Pinki, your Dad wants you. - Don't worry Mrs,

I'll make them some custard. Who gave you that silly name?

My old man.

As a child, my dad was into partisans, revolution,

take an oath, child-warriors...

That gets to you, you know?

Bandits!

Bandits!

Bandits! Shit!

Comrade Pinki...

suck my dick, comrade Stojan!

They say that real Pinki was good with bombs. Maybe.

This one prefers shooters, folks!

Where was I...?

Oh yes, how did I get my name.

I was born on 4th May 1980,

the same day that croat Tito croaked.

We bawled our eyes out, folks.

Go on son, have a god cry.

We'll name you after him:

Tito... S. Mucibabic.

Luckily, they were shocked in the city hall.

They wanted to arrest him for insulting the dead President.

All right comrades, I've changed my mind,

Let's call him Ramiz.

No, Pinki, call him Pinki!

Pinki!

I was marked for life, folks!

I knew I was destined for great deeds.

That really suits you.

Hey, kid! Take that off and come here.

Get a good look, eh?

It seems you'd shag my little girl, wouldn't you?

Come on now, Kure.

Of course you would.

- Kure, send the kids home. - What for?

- Let them learn something. - Come on!

Do you know how to treat this sort of bird?

Do you take her to a museum, eh?

What would you do in a museum, you little trash?

Have you ever wondered why there's no shagging

in old American films? That's because Kagny and Bogy

didn't want to give away their trade secrets.

Spit your gum out!

Shagging is an art. Pay attention! First stage:

The neck. A serious job, three to eight seconds.

- Kure... - Come on! Look here...

Please don't, not in front of the kids.

Second stage, the anaesthetic.

The ear: Ten to fifteen seconds!

What are you staring at, you little bastards?

Get off!

Don't interrupt me! Where was I?

- Where was I?! - The anaesthetic.

Third stage, fantasy!

- Hand... crowling, crowling... - Fuck you.

- Look, the anaesthetic's already working. - Fuck you.

You fucking bustard, Kure!

Look what you've done, you wanker!

What a temper!

- I'm gonna marry her, really I am. - Really?

You cow! Come here.

- Really? - Come here.

Does it hurt?

Don't be ridiculous.

But why didn't you tell me it was bothering you?

You're so strange.

- Look how stressed out I am, I'm all shaky. - Cool down.

Kids, go home.

Uncle Kure, are you gonna fuck now?

Kevin Keegan!

Kure isn't a maniac. Shut the door... My sweetie.

- My wounded hand is crowling... - You're tickling me.

Shagging is an art.

Of course Uncle Kure was a maniac, someone who lives

at a hundred miles an hour,

who doesn't give a fuck about anything.

Mother, buy me a gun, to kill my man,

who cheats on me every night.

Mother, buy me a syringe, to overdose my man.

Shvaba was also a bit like that - a maniac. A quiet lad,

but there was no screwing around with him.

Kill him Shvaba, kill him, bash his brains out!

Heel, Shvaba, heel!

That's probably why Kure liked him.

Drop it!

To cut my man's throat, 'cos he cheats on my every night,

mother, buy me a knife.

Mother, a knife!

Go on, sing!

Carry on!

Keep going!

You see, in school I had all A's.

That's why for me weapons took second place!

Even third. In first place were...

That's the most important thing for business.

Pepper's a real geezer!

As if, you know! Take this shit away.

And there was work all over Europe.

You're lying through your fucking teeth. Get lost, Rex!

A few of us were in fact representing serbian culture.

- Cool down, Kure. - Shut it!

We were building up this country's image.

Listen to this cant talking out of this arse!

We used to watch "The Beat of the Street"

every Wednesday at Kure's. For us kids it was

as popular as "Beverly Hills", even more than "Red Star".

I still have fond memories of some of those trips.

Frakfort on Mine, Munich, dusseldorf, Bundesbank,

Offenbach, piggy bank, dortmund...

He's the biggest fucking cunt grass.

Grassing people up took first, second and third

- place with you, mate! - You know, in the West,

a serb was treated like a gentleman.

I'll put an end to this bollocks, you cunt!

SEVEN DAYS LATER

78, 79, 80...

And now our neighbour Lydia returns to our story.

Here she is, folks, isn't she a star?

Lydia used to bring all the top criminals, mobsters,

our idols in fact, onto her programme.

Let's see which slime-ball's on this week.

Look at him! Are you counting, Shvaba?

Who, I hope, would open his heart to you and to me.

Stole, draw!

Where did she get this peasant from?

He shouldn't be on a kids show!

Are you counting, Svaba?

At that time we fought according to a certain code,

fists only, but it wasn't always fair play.

Here's an example for your viewers.

Stole, you cant! What a gentleman!

And what about poor Zvonce, whom you shot from behind!?

God rest his soul.

- Don't upset yourself Kure, please! - Who's getting upset?

- Who? - Don't, Kure!

Give us a fag, kid!

Once me and my friend Zvonce fell out

and agreed to settle things in a civilised way...

Give us a fag!

With fists, just the two of us!

Robber! Knight, my arse!

When I get there I see two parked cars and say to myself:

Shvaba, have I reached hundred and fifty yet?

Even more!

I say to myself: Well done, but that's impossible.

Sounds exciting.

Hey kids, would you give Lydia one?

- I heard that! - Quiet, in there.

Of course not, she's Diabola's Mum.

Why do you fantasise about her when you wank, then?

That's not the same, is it, uncle Kure?

Well, lads, that's a philosophical question.

Bring that kid along, I want to meet him.

You go on, he is asleep!

Oh, no, not that camouflage business again.

Don't go, Kure, it's dangerous!

What's wrong with you, I'm only going hunting...

for bunny rabbits!

Be brave... Heroes,

let's finish them off.

They won't surrender.

Show them all your strength and power,

as you did all along.

Be brave, they're definitely broken!

Get up, you lazy sods!

I'm bleeding while you're sleeping!

I'll draft you all! You lazy bastards!

Everybody down in five minutes!

Inspection! Fitness training for the body. And the spirit!

Kure! Ugh, blood!

It's not mine, it's from the bunny rabbit.

A souvenir for you... Shvaba, come here!

- What do you want? - You said there'd be an inspection.

Get the fuck out of here.

Shvaba, take this in.

- Kure, where's my microwave? - Give us a list next time!

Neighbour, how was the weekend?

Was there any fighting?

Everything for mother Serbia, everything!

My universities: M. Gorki G. Pinki (G = Giza)

Come on. Put your head here.

Don't breathe.

- Can you here anything? - Yes, I can, uncle Kure.

What can you hear? You can hear my arse!

Listen. It's on and you can't hear it.

Kure's bought a BMW, folks.

Golden hands! Give us that!

Not that... I'll make a man out of you yet.

It's a miracle what a man can do with his ten fingers!

And remember, every skill is worth its weight in gold!

How could I explain to him,

that me and shvaba were already learning our trade?

Shitting yourselves, eh? Watch this, you pussies!

Like in "The Battle of Neretva".

When the Chetniks rode into battle

and those partisan cunts hid behind the gravestones!

- There goes Sly. - Uncle Kure...

Come here. Have you ever seen "The Battle of Neretva"?

You arseholes haven't got a clue!

Do you think I could shoot a bit?

What did your Mum say, when am I gonna be on the show?

She said that Rat, Pepper and Bones are on first.

- Of course, if they survive that long. - Of course.

And me? When's my turn?

- Go on, spit it out! - Well... She says...

you're not in the same class.

That's what she says, is it?

Have you seen "The Godfather"?

You haven't got a clue!

Go home!

Rat, Pepper...

So you think that's funny?

Do you, you cunts?

That's not very nice, is it?

You're my friends, your laughter hurts me.

I've decided to share the pain with you. Shvaba...

Lets play... "steel fists".

- Do you want it now or straight away? - Straight away.

Who's a hard nut then? "Enter the Dragon", eh?

- Want some more? - Yes.

You do, do you?

- Come on, then. - No probs, uncle Kure.

Is that enough for you, peasant?

- Not yet! - Not yet!

Hang on, there's no hurry.

Right, now... off you go.

Come on, Shvaba.

That's right, you're really hard, Shvaba.

A beating can be a good thing, foks.

It is a good way of checking if you're a man or a pussy.

The problem is that most people find out

they're a pussy.

You want be seeing that bastard any more!

Do you wanna be a criminal?

- Stojan, you've lost count! - No, I'm counting to myself.

That's fifty, Stojan!

Kevin Keegan!

Kevin Keegan! Kevin Keegan!

That was the end of wanking, real life had begun.

Kevin, do you want a lick?

Kure, how many more of these morons do I have to do

for hundred marks. I didn't know it'd be such hard work.

Let the kid enjoy himself and stop talking crap.

- How did I do it, uncle Kure? - Very good, peasant.

Shagging's an art. Go on, give it a wash.

Get a move on, kid.

What's up with you, you cunt, shitting yourself, eh?

Thank God for that. Next!

Well done, lad.

What are you staring at? Go for it!

Come on, kid, you're the last one.

Have you fallen in love?

Come closer.

What're you doing, eh?

- Kure, he can't do it! - What do you think, he can't do it?

Get lost, geek!

Unbelievable! What are we gonna do about it?

Get your pants off!

OK, no problems.

Don't worry, Kure'II sort you out!

Be quiet! Alternative medicine!

- Come here. - Don't, uncle Kure...!

Concentrate, stand up straight... Shut up!

Surely we won't go to the doctor's because of this.

This isn't America. Problem solved.

Wow, a shish kebab! Come on, go for it!

- Kure, the kid's is doing it! - Give it to her, lad.

- Go on, cunt! Sing! - Kevin Keegan!

I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you

that at one moment I felt sorry for diabola.

But that was just for a short, fleeting moment.

As Kure says, you're either fucking or being fucked,

there's nothing in-between.

A rebellion of mice, folk. This isn't our war.

Did you watch the latest "The Beat of the Street"?

Little Lemon slagged us off.

Kids are getting nasty these days.

I'm sorry that Kure never made it on the show.

He was really into the idea.

Who gives a fuck about him, the cunt.

Get the fuck out of the way, bloody mice!

If only the sanctions would last a bit longer,

we'd be made.

Look at that beauty, eh?

What's going on here?

- Look at Peppers's Merc. - 500 E, hand made. -Shut it!

Did you watch the latest "The Beat of the Street"?

Wasn't Bones full of shit?

Pepper, mate, this is a highway robbery!

What're you doing?!

- You're a fast one, kid. - Give me that gun!

Haven't I told you before

not to interrupt me while I'm talking!

- Sorry, Pepper. - Let's call Bones and have some fun.

What the fuck are you playing at?

- Do you know who I am? - I do.

Here's five grand now. Come and get the rest tomorrow.

Why are you fucking with me? I'm not one of your jerks!

Come out and lets fight for it like in the good old days!

Keep this shit.

All that talks about good old days!

The nostalgia'II kill you.

Hello? Bones?

I could've blown that cunt's brains out, uncle Kure.

He deserved it!

I'll beat the shit out of you in two years!

There's not enough time, son. 1995 is a long way off.

- Let's do it now! - Fuck off! Go home!

That petrol's dodgey, get the hose and suck it out!

Dodgy, ah? Here you are, drink it!

What're you playing at, stop it!

Planing a budget is the art of survival in the difficult

circumstances our country is facing.

Pension, five hundred and sixty four billion,

eight hundred and thirty two million,

four hundred and thirty five thousand,

four hundred and seventy five and a half dinars.

Write this down: Council tax, one billion,

TV Iicence, five billion,

food, not a lot, but healthy, twenty eight billion...

Cross out Ugljeshas eight million.

Electricity, twenty five billion. Heating...

What heating, fucking bastards!!

That's impossible! You and your maths!

Do it again!

Something's wrong. Do it again.

Electricity...

Do it again, but without the electricity.

Pension, five hundred and sixty four billion...

Golden Hand used to bullshit that '93 was the worst year

in the history of the serbian nation.

I couldn't've give a toss about the nation, folks.

For me and shvaba it was the best year.

In one summer we grew ten centimetres.

Just the right amount, folks!

Dope, folks! An expanding market economy.

It was a great year for this line of work.

Inflation at fuck knows what percent.

People lost everything they had.

It's ready, uncle Kure!

Kure, the kid said that the scag's ready.

Compared to others, Kure was lucky.

He only become smack head.

Shut up! Use your willpower! Count to twenty.

One, two, three... eight...

It's about Ninana. Thirty five stab wounds.

Your first love has gone.

Not so fast.

Don't Kure, why're you being like that?

Pinki, come on.

Look at the tits I bought her, two grand each.

Suzy, show the kids the Grand Canyon.

Can I go first, Kure?

I've got a concert tonight, how am I gonna sing?

OK scum, shoot her up!

Sing, Suzy, sing!

Thanks, Kure.

Look at my Suzy, the first vein of Belgrade. And wider.

I put a gun in his mouth, he started mumbling...

How can you be bothered?

I told him, you should see a speech therapist, mate.

Sing!

"For the Serbian forces, that was the only way..."

Bravo! See you, peasants!

Let's go.

- Don't. - Look at the state of him!

Look at him!

In serbia, in this trade, you graduate by shooting

your teacher. We didn't have a hope in hell of graduating.

Kure was making sure of that.

Mr. Pinki, how's school going?

Suck my dick, you old fart.

Slowly we've been taking over the whole neighborhood.

Nevenka, come and watch the news!

It took my stupid dad ten years to make it

from a first sergeant to a sergeant mayor.

And look at me, folks, then judge who got it right!

So you're moving to Slovenia, eh?

No, to the posh part of town.

Give us a ring sometime.

- We've got a job for you. - OK -See you.

Darko, let's get out of here. Get that lorry moving.

What are you offering that pratt a job for,

he'll have the pigs onto us!

Who's there?

The big bad wolf and the Little Red Riding Hood!

- Where've you been 'till now? - At school, on detention.

Gran, give us something to scoff!

- Get lost! - Don't pick on Madonna.

Our base was at shvaba's, he lived alone with his Granny.

If you don't count the hens.

In '41 in the middle of the night, Ustashas came into

Crnici and cut the throats of about two hundred people.

The murdering bustards!

Somehow I managed to escape, got to the river,

jumped into the water, looked and sow...

What did you see, Granny?

Kids have you got a cigarette for Granny?

Here you are, Granny, an American one.

Anglo-American?

- Well, Granny, where were we? - Oh, yes, Ustashas!

Tell us, Granny, did they cut your throat or not?

I saw them running after me.

Somehow I managed to swim across the Rzava.

- Shit, what a name - Rzava! - Rzava, I almost drowned.

Where's that, is it in Disneyland?

There was a full moon, would you fucking believe it,

everything was lit up!

And Ustashas, with those big knives in their theets...

Wow, Granny, look at that. A Jedi!

What a story, Granny! We'll get you some coke tomorrow.

I'd rather have a cock, son.

Look at the way they're playing... Like red-Indians!

Indians! Gimme a bear.

And you're red-Indians, too. Brought up

on this reservation, in this condom of a country!

And you strike fucking attitudes. Doing a job, eh?

What do you think you're doing, you fucking cant!

What the fuck do you want?

Uncle Kure, there's a fat faggot here

wants a word with you.

Where is he, the pig?

Did I get him?

Of course, uncle Kure, you're the bizz!

Of course I am, you Apache!

When I remember... Dusseldorf, Bundesbank,

in the middle of the day...

I just went in, good morning, three grand better off...

Do you know how much is it? I mean... quantitative?

The pigs came, special branches...

I jumped out of the widow, somersaulted,

open fracture, didn't feel a thing!

- What's that? - A fly, uncle Kure.

That was business.

Not like you, drug pushing.

In my time that was dishonourable.

They knew what honour was then.

Now there's only shit left.

Pinki, get rid of those flies that are pestering

uncle Kure! Show some respect!

- Good morning, uncle Kure. - Red-Indians!

Bogi, Kagny, Clint

and Uncle Kure'II always be cowboys for you!

At your age, I screwed a black girl in Amsterdam.

It's not worth mentioning the Eiffel Tower.

Do you Comanches know how a real black girl shag?

The fuck you do!

A fly, eh!

Pepper!

Where are you, pussy? I've been waiting for you.

Hide and seek, eh?

One, two, three...

Neighbour...

You'll wake everyone up.

When the Serbian people were going through hard times,

Kure felt their pain like real patriotic Serb.

Like many of us, he decided to help our people to defend

hearth and home, along with our ancestor's graves.

Ljubisa Kurcubic Kure, in a word, a knight

in a shining armour, a true patriot!

- He was a good man. Handsome. - And Serb. -Tosser.

Not an ordinary man, a big man!

- He had a great heart. - Here's our obituary:

"Uncle Kure, up there from the Holly land,

you'll see us with his balls in hand".

You're a poet, Pinki. Who do you think did it?

The one who wrote the longest obituary...

or the one who's making the speech.

Good bless him.

"Black Raven".

Hey, Ljubisa, Black Raven,

you've found a home forever.

We're late! You're in deep shit now!

Get a move on, pratts!

Look, the coffin's gone!

Excuse me, I'm from the TV, we're late.

Would it be a problem to dig him up again,

- so I can film it. - Look it's her from the telly!

Pepper, so you're still alive then!

Oh, it's you, Liki, you scam bag!

Fuck yourself! My condolences.

I'm really sorry he didn't make it onto my show.

Another time.

Wreath, close up on the cross, and make your own way home.

You've really grown, now you're real young man.

- Did you ask her? - Ask what?

- Which one of us was the better fuck? - Yes I did.

- She said we were very different. - That's no answer.

I agree... But I won't be able to ask her again.

The last round, Kure!

I'll find that cunt!

You'll kill the bastard.

- Thanks, uncle Pepper. - See you.

Come on, you junkie scum!

Do you know why they called him crazy Kure?

They say that when he was on "The Beat of the Street"

- he grabbed one of Lydia's tits! - Kure was never

on "The Beat of the Street". Get lost!

Come on, scumbag. Look at the state of you.

I'll take to the railway station

and let all the deadbeats screw you.

Or I'll screw you with an electric saw.

- Hello, uncle Pepper. - Hello.

- Who are they? - Kures's kids.

All these new kids are the same? Awful!

Shvaba, are you mad or what? Come on!

- Is he different? - What's the fuck with you?!

- Is he different? - What do you care?

I've got rid of all the geer.

You're not the same, really you're not.

- Am I the same? - Look at Shvaba, producing eggs.

Am I the same?!

Why don't you have more faith in yourself?

You can't come if you don't respect yourself.

You'll end up with an inferiority complex.

Go and keep Gran company for a bit.

Let's ask Granny if she thinks you're the same.

Gran!

Gran, this here is a natural remedy for blocked sinuses.

Is it that "Uncle Joe's" cure"?

No, I got it straight from Jailbird himself.

It feels good, eh Granny? Sweet marjoram.

I looked at shvabas Gran.

She looked really sweet at that moment.

And then I thought of another old woman,

some shit from the school.

That famous murder of an old lady, and her killer,

Raskolnikov, entered the history books

in the way the American film never will. Dostoyevsky...

For two months, leper face talked bollocks about some

fella who did some granny in. And then he apparently

wondered if he should've done it in the first place.

Man, a whole book about doing some old woman in!

What if he'd bumped off some great-looking chick?

Would they fuck've put that on the curriculum!

Then the first time I killed someone came into my mind...

There was no should I, shouldn't I,

I just went for it. But I didn't feel the need

to write a book about it. Me and writing...

What a strange smell a gun has when you kill someone with it,

or am I imagining things...

Here I go again, telling the story from the end...

instead of how it all started.

Quiet Nevenka, the kid'II hear us!

Shut up while I'm fucking you.

Eh, Bertha... Good luck on our first break-in!

Diabola had tipped us off about some old guy, Stubac,

one of his Mum's friends, a news presenter.

Look, he's floating!

What did Diabola say the combination was?

23rd September, '87. Two... three... nine...

What's that? The last time he got his and away?

The date of some congress, who gives a toss?

23.9.1987 - Slobodan Milosevic comes to power in Serbia.

A great combination!

Readies!

- Would you fuck me, eh, mate? - Of course.

Fat head, switch that off, I can't see a bloody thing!

- Silver medal for you, Grandad! - Who are you?

Hoards of Ustashan cut-throats and Muslim fanatics.

We've come to brake your balls for slagging

us off on the news! Take your clothes off!

Who do you work for? It's not about money, is it?

What they say about my visits to Knin is all rubbish.

I'm loyal! Can I invite Zikica?

- Is he the one I fucked? - Look at the swan, Grandad!

Kid, give me the gun!

This is real killing!

Look at him, mate. Dead!

Are you interested to know who Zikica is?

Let her have it!

You're on "The Beat of the Street" next Wednesday, oK?

Us?

Yes. Why?

OK. -Now one practical advice.

Shoot him in the head to make it look like a cop killing.

Did you hear that, you fat head!

Do you know haw lovely the Maldives are,

- even lovelier than Dubrovnik! - Lovelier than what?

I'll see you on Wednesday.

Fuck it, man!

We're on the show, us!!

Look at the swan!

Are you hungry? Gran, have you been to the shops?

What's the matter with you?

You didn't find the stash under the mattress, did you?

Gran, do you hear me?

Didn't I tell you to keep the drugs away from her!

It's not that, look at the telly.

She's in a state 'cos of the Ustashas.

Knin is now under the control of croatian Troops.

Civilians and serbian army left the city.

Serbian soldiers offer heavy resistance

in this area. Croatian forces in Kraina...

There were others who didn't take the fall of Kraina well.

This is a betrayal, you bastards!

You betrayed the sacred Serbian land of Kraina!

- Don't, Stojan! - You're disturbing the neighbours!

- Betrayal! - Someone'II call the police!

Let them call! This is for police!

Calm down, neighbour, everything'II be oK!

You don't give a toss about the sacred land of Kraina!

Half a million people have left their homes

and are on their way to serbia...

Have you got any pictures of that traitor?

- Which one, Dad? - You've got it easy?

It's nice to see people not afraid to show their feelings,

especially when he's your dad!

Good evening viewers. Tonight, on the program,

we have two unusual guests. Unusual because of...

their age.

Pinki...

Stojan! Our Pinki's on the telly!

Would you like to tell us how old you are?

17... next month.

While most kids your age are at school,

you've chosen a different path. Why?

- Life forced it on us. - What do you mean?

I'm winding you up.

Funny. Have you ever been even slightly wounded?

- Cat got your tongue? - No, I mean, not yet.

That's the truth! We've never been wounded.

What the fuck are you on, put it back.

Everything's cool, mate, keep rolling.

- We don't use guns here... - When you said

that we'd never been wounded, it sounded like

- you were trying to slag us off. - Calm down, mate!

I didn't come here for someone to take the piss!

Don't give me that, you didn't mean it!

There, I'm wounded now. Is that OK?

What a great feeling, pal.

Really great!

Do you want us to call a doctor?

- Do you wanna have a go, pal? - Why not?

- Do you want it in the head? - Yeah? OK, but just a bit...

I'm stopping the programme!

- Go on, you little shits, go home! - Sit down!

What do you mean, stop the program?!

I'll fucking well show you lot!

Leave her alone... It's time for some refreshment.

Shvaba, don't embarrass me on the telly.

- Want some? - No, thanks.

What's up with you, mice, shitting yourself, eh?

Western economists are pilling their hair out

and asking themselves how it is possible that serbia

has the largest growing economy in Europe...

Let's see the report...

What's wrong, Dad?

I thought you could take me into action sometimes.

I'm good with weapons. That's my profession.

But Nevenka mustn't find out.

Great! Your dad wants to be a criminal!

Toilet - 150 marks, pipe - thirty marks.

Pension - 35 marks. If I save up,

in 8 months I'll be shitting like a gentleman again.

That's not bad, not bad at all...

Get a hold of yourself, Pinki.

I felt like crying. And I did cry, mates,

but you want see that. Pinki's not whimp.

PINKI CRIES

Moneeeeey!

- Do you know me? -I do! - I don't know you!

What're you on?

See, mate, he knows me, but I don't know him!

- Hey, you really did the biz. - Who's this faggot?

Hey, geezer. You're the best, go for it!

And he knows me, but I don't know him.

Who's that?

- Even he knows me and I don't know him! - Fuck off!

What do you mean, fuck off! I know you, you know me!

And they all know you. Do you know them!?

I don't know you!

- Good evening! - Is there a problem with this invalid?

- Which invalid? - Relax.

Let's play red gloves!

You sing like Michael Jackson.

I'll pay up. The money's under the veal!

Mistreating people helped me not to think about

my stupid dead father or my mother. It's better to treat

other people badly rather than yourself, isn't it?

I hope I wasn't in the way.

I've been doing a programme about this for three years

- and I've never seen this live! - It's the best when it's live.

Money? Is this about money? I have money.

Would you like this Rolex... Merc... What?

No, what is then? You want a glory, eh?

This isn't a quiz show, you faggot!

You've seen a murder. What else are you interested in?

Lots of things. Thanks for the entertainment. Bye, kids.

Thanks for the information, mate!

Bosnian send his regards, that's a bad sigh!

And the cops are asking about us. I've ordered passports.

We could go away for a bit, Germany.

Shag a few black girls, eh?

What the fuck are you on?

Get on with your drawing, you moron!

I'm not running away like a fucking whimp!

And I don't like black girls, get it?

- Get it? - I get it.

- Am I interrupting? - Come in.

Why're you so untidy?

I hear you're skipping the country. Wise move.

- Whoever said that can suck my dick! - I sad it.

I know!

Come on kids, why are you arguing?

How's the wound? Let me have a look at it.

- I'm off. I've got something to do. - Bye, Pinki.

- Here you are, sir. - Why're you shitting yourself?

Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?

You've got no idea what I'm gonna do to you.

Don't you know what you are? A whore, that's what!

That's right, I'm a whore. And what now?

What are we gonna do now, me and you?

Why don't you answer?

Your friend might be calling.

- Answer the phone. - I will.

They're fitting our car up! Do you know how close I was?

We've gotta get out of here!

Put it down, further down...

Set it off, Pinki.

Kids are turning really nasty these days,

especially those two puffs from those breeze blocks.

I've got a song for them. "Give her my regards!"

But it isn't a love song. Think about it, kids!

A bullet in the arse is the movie. We're more creative!

We've got a guest, Granny.

You're dead.

The sponsors of the murder which was just announced

- is democracy Lights. - What do I owe you?

Another appearance on the show in '97.

- '97 is a long way off. - Don't talk bollocks.

What're you doing here?

Pinki called me. He's got a surprise for you.

Pinki, you cunt!

That's not fair!

She's mine!

What's the matter with you?! Fuck it!

Fuck it...

Sonny! It's just been on the telly!

The sanctions have been lifted! Thanks God!

I managed to smile, folks.

I guess that's a sure sign that you're gonna croak.

Four strait through and one near the heart.

What's your name, kid?

My name is Bond. James Bond.

Suck my dick, you old git!

You might have noticed that I lied. My name is Pinki.

But it's nice to die like James Bond, isn't it?

In every American movie there's that really

sickly bit. When the hero has just narrowly escaped death

and outside it's apparently a beautiful day.

I suppose they want to say that life's a wonderful thing.

It was a shitty day outside,

but at least there's a couple of doves.

And the same dream every night, folks.

We'll meet in the better world, pal.

Get a move on, cunts!

Careful, you bastards! If he dies, you're dead, get it!?

Let's start from the beginning.

Just whisper the name of whoever shot you!

I've already told you. I was cleaning Dad's gun

- and it went off. - So how come you've got five wounds?

I don't give up easily.

Leave the sun of the God in peace. Can't you see,

they're God's wounds. The wounds of our Lord

Jesus Christ! Look! They're sacred wounds!

- We'll talk again. - Look, he can't do anything to you!

- Thanks, Grandad. - Those wounds...

are the sign from God. You've been chosen.

Touch me, Holly Man, heal me. You can see I'm dying!

The streets of Belgrade are today flushing with shame.

The citizens of our capital city, are victim of terror,

due to a handful of fascist hooligans who for the last

few days have been throwing thousands of eggs

at the facades of our city's buildings.

Are you going to start throwing bread tomorrow?

Something's going on outside. Someone stole someone's votes.

It wasn't me, I swear on my Mom's life.

I've got an alibi, as you can see.

Holy Man... please take me with you.

There's nothing left for me here.

You're my only hope, please, Holy Man!

You're confusing me with someone else.

You're back, then?

I came to see you in the hospital,

but you were in a coma.

- You look oK. -Give me the piece. - I haven't got it.

You're looking for Shvaba?

He's a real cunt. I'll tell you where he is.

No, thanks. What did you call Shvaba? A cunt, eh?

Sorry.

As Shvaba says... Serbs don't cry like pussies!

- Did you understand? - Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

It's only a joke.

Oh, it's you, sweetie!

Now it fits you just well.

Diabola can't get it up, eh?

- Who cares, he looks after me. - I appreciate that.

What're you looking at? My implants, eh?

I've sold them. I'm not in a show business any more.

Anyway, natural's more beautiful.

He told you to give him a ring.

Is Shvaba there?

I was waiting for you to call.

- You know what we have to do. - I know, pal. Thanks.

- Have you got everything we need? - I will have.

- Pinki? - What?

- What about Lydia? - Nothing, pal. Tell her hello.

I shouldn't say that.

What did he say?

- To tell hello. - That was nice of him.

Of course, he's a polite lad.

You haven't been arguing, have you?

Cat got your tongue?

Shvaba's a bit of a strange guy.

He thought I was to shy to say it. So he killed her

in any case, to show me his appreciation.

It's nice to have that sort of friend.

Now I'm demonstrating as well!

Cat got your tongue?

Go on, tell me.

Your guests kill for money or revenge. I don't see the...

Attraction, eh? What about Ninana?

Stabbed, 35 times, Mum. You can't tell me

- that was for revenge. - You're a real daftie.

How do you expect to become a criminal when you're ticklish?

- You'll end up like Ninana, Mummy! - Me! You'll see!

What're you gonna do to Diabola now?

- Why? - Well, 'cos of Kure.

So, he killed uncle Kure! Well, he never let on.

Are you gonna kill him?

Don't be daft.

Come by.

Who's gonna demonstrate if you youngsters don't!

Come on! Lets drown on the TV news!

Commie bastards!

If dad were alive,

would he be faffing around with pots and pans?

No, he wouldn't, he wasn't that type.

Times have changed, but as far as I'm concerned,

a gun's better than a pot or a whistle any day!

A man can't change at my age!

I'm sorry about Granny.

Fuck it, the first time she voted against Milosevic,

she went to bed and died. She must have been scared.

Shall we do it straight away?

Let's drive around the town for a bit.

Like we used to do, eh, pal?

Buy some alcohol, bandages, gauze... and some plasters.

Very considerate pal, I wouldn't've remembered.

Thanks.

Don't mention it.

- Excuse me... - We're closed. You'll have to come tomorrow!

It's urgent, Mrs, I need some things.

- Someone's been wounded. - Who's wounded?

Fuck you, bitch! Open up!

- Nice lady. - Yeah.

Nice to see you again, pal. Never mind the...

- What do you call it... - Consequences?

I really got you, eh pal?

It's not too bad. Where're we gonna do it?

Our there. A flood lit final, pal...

it'd be a shame to strain your eyes!

Shall we start?

You choose the weapon, it's only right.

- You choose. - The TT's better.

It depends. The TT is better for under the shoulder,

for the rest, we can use yours.

Are you scared?

- Tell me. - I couldn't give a toss, lets get on with it!

What're you doing?

- Five'd be enough. - Why? In case you get carried away

and keep on shooting?

Last shooting, pal.

- What else is there? - Nothing, probably.

- OK, you can start, pal. - Shall we roll up, first?

Not now pal, better at halftime.

- Where do you want it first? - Where did it heal fastest?

Nowhere. Shall we start with the leg?

Maybe that's not such a good idea 'cos of football.

Never mind, we'll play the table football.

Look what you've done to me, I've started hiccuping.

Now you'll have to give my a fright!

Did that do it?

I've stopped hiccuping, thanks pal!

You're doing well.

- What's next? - Warm up a bit,

so that you don't miss the one near the heart.

I'm on top form, pal!

- Trust me! - OK... Here'II do.

A good choice, pal. Steel yourself!

- It's oK, pal. I'm getting used to it. - So am I!

I'm still leading 5:3, pal. Shall we carry on?

5:5.

Yeah, 5:5 is a good result!

Then you know that it was a great match.

Have "Red Star" scored 5 recently?

I don't follow any more. It's a crap game.

I guess they're lacking that...

- Motivation. - Yeah, that shit.

Only morons are still into football these days, pal!

You've gotta be into something.

What happens when you can't find anything?

Then you're fucked, I reckon.

Fuck it, take your Dad, for instance.

What did he get out of it?

We're better of like this. What's wrong with us?

You like my cross, eh, pal?

It's yours.

It's just a cross. Now it's time for the bizz.

I'll give you a discount.

- One wound. - Thanks pal, but you don't have to.

After all, you are my best mate.

Choose which one you want. Let's make it the other hand!

So I won't be able to wank, eh, pal?

No, let's go for the bizz, near the heart!

Come on, close your eyes, will you!

- Are your hands shaking? - No.

- Get on with it, mate. - Stop farting around!

You, cunts!

Why her, why do you have to kill her!

I'll fucking well have you for that!

This is a laugh!

Pretending to be an Ustasha, again, eh!?

I'll decide who I'm gonna be, not you!

Go on then, decide!

Just don't pretend to be a geezer 'cos you're a cunt!

Why don't you pretend to be your Mum so we can shag you!

One bullet, pal. Now, he's for it!

Come on, lets do it together!

So here we are at the end of our story, folks.

You, mice,

if you wanna be cool, then I'm definitely your idol.

I'm only sorry that I haven't been abroad,

but you can't do everything in life, can you?

There're bustards everywhere, what difference does it make?

I also wish I could've shagged that black girl.

As for the Eiffel Tower that Kure used to talk about,

well I couldn't give a toss. I swear on my Mom's life.

This is the end, folks.

And, you know, I'm better off that you lot!

DVD Authoring DiMEDIA Group

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.