Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[crowd applauding]

[bat knocking]

[audience cheering]

[bat knocking]

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[mellow music]

Hold it, boys. Steady... that's it.

- Alright for you, Pete? - Sure.

Alright, boys, change clothes if you want to...

- But get back to work. - And make it snappy.

Well, Mike, what have you got for us?

Well, we're starting spring training with

the same line-up as last year's, Taylor

behind the bat and Gordon on third.

Goldberg, douse that heater.

[coughs] Yes, sir.

And to round out the infield, we're having

that old double-play combination.

- O'Brien to Ryan to Goldberg. - Maybe.

Well, you've got Goldberg alright, but they tell me

O'Brien and Ryan ain't showing up this year.

- What? - Don't make me laugh.

Listen, you can tell your readers that O'Brien and Ryan

are on their way right here this minute.

And what's more, they've been working out all winter.

- And they're in the pink. - Sure. Okay.

Thanks, fellas.

What did you hear from O'Brien and Ryan?

Not a word. I sent 10 telegrams, and they ain't answered one.

Well, here's one they'll answer. Where are they?

They're in, uh, Pottstown, Illinois.

Pottstown, Illinois.

Get a pencil and paper. Write this down.

O'Brien and Ryan, Pottstown, Illinois.

Who do you guys think you are? Stop.

Get your carcass on the first train to Florida

or I'll throw you both out of baseball.

-"I'll throw..." - Wait a minute.

Make a change there, uh...

Just say, uh...

Please, fellas, we need you.

[dramatic music]

♪ Nelly Kelly loved baseball games ♪

♪ Knew the players knew all their names ♪

♪ You could see her there every day ♪

♪ Shout hooray ♪

♪ When they'd play ♪

♪ Her boyfriend by the name of Joe said ♪

♪ To Coney Isle dear we'll go ♪

♪ Then Nelly started to fret and pout ♪

♪ And to him I heard her shout ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Take me out to the ball game ♪

♪ Take me out with the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack ♪

♪ I don't care if I never get back

♪ Let me root root root for the home team ♪

♪ If they don't win it's a shame ♪

♪ 'Cause it's one ♪ ♪ Two ♪

♪ Three strikes you're out at the old ball game ♪

[feet tapping]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[crowd applauding]

- Give them a bow. - Huh?

You wanna chase 'em all home? You wanna?

Yeah, we wanna.

Why don't you stop stealing bows, why don't you?

Why don't you mind your own business, why don't you?

Oh, you bonehead. I got a notion to--

- To what? - Hey, Danny, cut it out.

Will ya?

- Oh! - Hey, you big lug!

- Now, wait a minute, Eddie. - Eddie, hold it!

Damn it. Come on, wake up, kid. We're in a hurry.

- What happened? - Oh, nothing.

- This happens all the time. - It does?

Yes, every once in a while he gets illusions.

- He thinks he's got muscles. - Hey, you're not pulling out?

- Are you? - Yeah. We...

We got to catch a train, we're joining

the ball club in Florida.

- Oh. - Oh.

Now look... Goodbye, baby doll.

- See you next season! - Goodbye.

Lucky punch, that's what it was.

Uh-huh, how many times have I told you

to pick on somebody your size?

There ain't nobody my size.

Why, I could've knocked the big lug for a loop.

It's just that, well,

I didn't wanna hurt my hands.

Oh, sure.

What, you want me to show up at spring training

with a busted hand, do you?

Hey, you save these pictures, don't you?

For the kids at the park, yeah.

Hey, that's me.

I'd sooner have my picture in front of a theater.

Ah, you and your show business.

Ah.

Gee, it's gonna be great to get back

in that old ball game again.

I can hear the umps now.

"Batteries for today...

Rube Waddell and Ossee Schreck."

Kind of chokes you up, doesn't it?

Yeah, it chokes me. Kehhh!

When I think of the dames I lost

because I had to be in bed by 10 o'clock.

Can play a lot of checkers by 10 o'clock.

No, sir, brother.

Give me Vaudeville anytime

and maybe a musical show.

Fifty girls. Fifty.

Maybe even a 100 girls, a 100.

Oh, boy.

Gee, I suppose it would be more fun than playing checkers.

You suppose?

Hey, you know, Denny

you're getting old enough to find out.

Well, to tell you the truth, Ed, um

lately, I-I have been thinking

a lot about romance and about girls.

- No. - Yeah.

[chuckling] Hey, they smiled at us. Let's go talk to them.

We don't even know them.

But I feel like talking.

I'm a very sociable fellow.

Well, um, let's go talk

to those fellas over there, huh?

Denny...

it ain't the same.

[instrumental music]

Sam, drop our stuff at the hotel, will you?

Yes, sir, Mr. O'Brien.

How are you? How you doin', kids?

You gonna cop another pennant this season?

- How's your throwing arm? - You got any pictures?

There's the guy with the pictures.

Got thousands of them. There you are.

Gee, what a sight, huh?

Oh, you got to admit, it's a great thrill.

Who's knocking it?

Kind of a warm feeling comes over you, doesn't it?

Happens to me every spring.

[instrumental music]

- Denny! - Eddie!

[clamoring]

Hey! Hey, you lugs! Come here!

It's about time! Ryan, how are you?

- Good to see you-- - O'Brien!

- Goldberg! - Hey, Eddie! Dennis!

How are you? Hey! How you been?

Hey, what about your Vaudeville tour?

Oh, it was great. We worked every town in the USA.

But we didn't work hard. We had time for play.

The art shows, the bird walks, the museums were nice.

Denny, tell them about the girls

the quails, the mice.

- The mice! - Oh, yeah. The girls!

♪ I kissed a gal in Old Wyoming ♪

♪ She rode a horse in a wild west show yee-hoo! ♪

♪ When I said baby I'm bent on roamin' ♪

♪ She cried we just got started ♪

♪ And she sighed we can't be parted ♪

♪ But I left her broken-hearted ♪

♪ At the rodeo ♪

♪ Oh yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ I left her broken-hearted at the rodeo ♪

♪ 1 kissed a gal way out in Boise ♪

♪ That's Idaho where potatoes grow ♪

♪ I went away and her sobs were noisy ♪

♪ I said I'll see you later ♪

♪ And I hopped the nearest freighter ♪

♪ Left her holdin' a potater ♪

♪ Down in Idaho ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ She's left with her potatoes down in Idaho ♪

♪ I kissed a gal in Old Poughkeepsie ♪

♪ That's where the college of Vassar's found ♪

♪ She couldn't study love made her tipsy ♪

♪ Her teachers wouldn't pass her ♪

♪ So she just turned on the gas ♪

♪ And now the sweetest girl at Vassar's ♪

♪ In the cold cold ground [♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy's a hound ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ The sweetest gal at Vassar's in the cold cold ground ♪

♪ I met a gal when we hit Manhattan ♪

♪ A scrumptious babe dressed in silk and lace ♪

♪ Her eyes were stars and her skin was satin ♪

♪ I told her how I'd miss her ♪

♪ Then she murmured that and this-er ♪

♪ So I thought I'd try to kiss her ♪

♪ But she slapped my face ♪

♪ No ♪ ♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed couldn't reach first base ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ I thought I'd try to kiss her ♪

♪ But she slapped my face ♪

♪ I kissed a gal down in Mississippi ♪

♪ A southern belle name of Emmy Jo ♪

♪ That was her name ♪

♪ I thought for once love had got me dippy ♪

♪ She called me lucky seven ♪

♪ Said my kisses were from heaven ♪

♪ Then I learned she was 11 ♪

♪ And I had to go ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪ ♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Her age was just 11 so he had to go ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boys played hey! ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ We're hot as electric wires ♪

♪ Twice as hot as forest fires ♪

♪ And the biggest pair of liars... ♪

- Liars? - Liars?

Mm-hmm.

- What the hey? - What the hey?

♪ We're the biggest pair of liars ♪

♪ In the USA ♪♪

[all cheering]

- Hey, Gilhuly! - Hiya, Mike.

Hiya, Mike. How are you?

Hey, what's ailing him?

I got some bad news for you, fellas.

- What? - This just came.

"From the law office of Hergenscheimer

Hergenscheimer, Hergenscheimer..."

Never mind the batting order.

"Gentlemen, this will inform you

"that according to the will of the late

"Colonel J.B. Newhouse, former owner

"of the baseball club known as the Wolves

"all rights and interests in said club

"have been bequeathed to the late

"colonel's young and distant relative

"one K.C. Higgins

"who will arrive in Florida on the 10th instant

"to assert ownership

"and actively participate

"in the management of said club.

Yours truly, Joseph Hergenscheimer."

Who's K.C. Higgins?

Whoever he is, he'll probably wanna pitch.

You mean we gotta take orders from some

dopey kid who never swang a bat?

- Looks that way. - Not to me, it doesn't.

I don't know about you fellas

but I want us to win the pennant.

You don't cop any prize money finishing last place.

You know, a thing like this happened to Baltimore once.

They had to dig 'em out of the cellar.

If this guy opens his trap, I quit.

So do I!

[indistinct chatter]

Wait a second! Wait a second! Quiet! Quiet. Quiet.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute. Wait a minute now.

How about a little fair play here, boys?

You guys don't even know this Higgins.

Now here's what I say.

He's gonna arrive here Sunday morning

and until that time, let's keep an open mind.

And above all, let's not judge him too hastily...

the little rat.

You take the back end.

You Mr. Higgins?

K.C. Higgins?

- Higgins? - No.

Good.

- Either of you Higgins? - No.

- Oh! - Oh! I'm so sorry--

- That's alright. - Gosh, I-I...

I-I never did have any sense of direction

Miss, uh, K.C... Uh, Miss Higgins.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Florida Palms Hotel, please.

K.C. Higgins!

He's a girl!

Ha ha ha!

[whistling "Funeral March of a Marionette"]

Uh, miss...

Are you, uh, looking for someone?

Well, uh, yes, I am. Michael Gilhuly.

He's the manager of the Wolves.

Uh, could you point him out to me, please?

Well, it would be an awful long point.

He's down at the railroad station.

- Oh. - He went to meet the 12:10.

Well, that's the train I came in on.

Oh, I must have missed him.

Yeah? Well, I wonder how he missed you.

[laughter]

Mike ought to be along very soon now.

Denny, where are your manners?

Why don't you give the lady your seat?

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. Won't you sit down, miss?

One of our very nicest chairs.

Go read your funny papers.

Mike's in a pretty nasty temper this morning.

- You're not kidding! - Boy, is he...

Well, uh, what seems to be the trouble?

He-he's going to get the new owner of the club.

- Well, i-is that bad? - Bad? Ho-ho-ho!

Say, by the way, on the trip down

you didn't run into a fathead

named Higgins, did you?

- A-a little fathead? - Yeah.

Yeah, some-some lame brain from Providence, Rhode Island.

Excuse me, but I have--

Yeah, you better wait until Mike cools off.

Now-now, look, baby doll, uh, just put yourself in my hands.

[clicks tongue] Fast worker, that boy.

Just met her, and he's rounding third.

Yeah, it's a sad situation, miss.

Now, picture this, here we are

the greatest team in baseball, the champs

and this little fathead from Providence

is gonna come down here and teach us the game.

[chuckles] How do you like that?

- Oh, it's very depressing. - Yeah.

Don't ever be a ballplayer, miss.

Well, I'll try to avoid it.

Look, uh, let's talk about you.

Uh, what are you doing tonight after dinner?

Well, I-I hadn't made any...

- After dinner? - Yeah.

How about stepping out a little?

Just the two of us, huh?

Well...

Aren't you ball players supposed to be in training?

Training? Who, me? Ha! I don't believe in it.

- You don't say? - Nah.

Well, uh, what time do you usually get in?

Well, uh, we're supposed to be in by 10 o'clock

but, uh, well, it's alright for the other fellas

but I usually get in about midnight.

Oh, except, of course, when I have an extra-special date.

Then I get in about, uh, 2:00 or 3:00.

Tonight, I could stay up till 5:00.

- Really? - Mm-hm.

Well, won't Mr. Gilhuly get mad?

What I always say is, what the boss

doesn't know doesn't hurt me.

[chuckles] You get it, sister?

Oh, I get it, brother.

Oh, watch, here he is. Uh, Mike, how are you, Mike?

I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Miss, uh...

Higgins. K.C. Higgins.

I'm afraid I missed you at the station.

- I'm sorry. - That's alright.

We've had a very interesting chat, Mr. O'Brien and I.

- Haven't we? - Yeah.

We sure have, Miss Higgins.

Just call me fathead.

[indistinct chatter]

Take it easy, now, Eddie.

Aw! Pop-up!

What's bothering you, Ed? You swing like a rusty gate.

- He's lost his batting eye. - Yeah.

Mr. O'Brien, you're stepping in the bucket.

- How's that? - I said...

You're stepping in the bucket.

Oh, thank you.

Maybe you'd like to come over here and show me how to do it.

Well, if you won't mind... I'd like to.

Uh, Slappy, would you get me the water bucket, please?

May I?

You see, Mr. O'Brien, here's what's happening.

Instead of stepping into the ball like this

you're stepping over here and, uh, into the bucket. Hm?

Now, uh, let me get this straight.

Uh, when I stand at the plate, I'm like this, hmm?

No, I hold it a little higher, up here.

Up here, you see?

And while waiting for the pitch, I wiggle a little bit.

Like this.

Just to get myself set.

[stammers] Yes. Yes, I've noticed that.

- Now as the ball comes over... - Uh-huh?

Try stepping into it as you bring the bat back like...

Ow!

[laughter]

Sorry, Mr. O'Brien.

Would you try it, please?

Pitch to him, would you, Joe? But easy on that arm.

Yeah, easy on the arm.

Okay.

Hey! What a poke!

Wow! That's four bases in any ball park!

That's the idea, Eddie, but don't try to kill them all.

You know, Charlie Davis of Cincinnati only hit 279

but he batted in a 102 runs.

Why don't you get Charlie Davis?

Cut the cracks, Eddie.

Oh, Mr. Gilhuly

I-I seem to have taken over your job.

Ha! Not at all, Miss Higgins. Not at all.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

I'll see you back at the hotel.

Fine. Alright. Let's get busy in there.

Get around now. Come on, Davis. You're up.

- Come on. - Alright, Denny boy...

[indistinct chatter]

- Come on. boys. - Alright now get a hold of one!

- Hey! - Hey, look out!

Gee! Ain't that somethin'?

She's the kind of girl I've always dreamed about.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be married

to a girl who played baseball? Gee!

[clamoring]

Yeah, I remember this time last season

we were playing Scranton.

- Yeah? - Great town. Great town!

Well, anyway, there's a dame there named Maxine

who's kind of sweet on me

a very refined, artistic little chick

with plenty on the ball.

A cooch dancer from the circus.

That's what I mean!

Hey, Goldberg, give me the bread.

Anyway, this minx is really warm for me

and one night she's walking me home after the show.

And all of a sudden, I hear a flute playing a cooch dance

you know, like this...

[humming cooch tune]

- Good evening, boys. - Good evening.

- Evening, Miss Higgins. - Hello, Denny.

Sit down.

What do you think it is, a formal affair?

She gonna eat with us, too?

Hey, watch your language, fellas

and your table manners, too.

Gee, she called me Denny.

This may not be such a good idea, Miss Higgins.

You're kind of cramping their style.

Yeah. They're not used to eating with skirts.

I-I mean ladies.

Look, Mike, the sooner they get used to seeing me around

the better it's going to be for all of us.

Yes, ma'am.

Uh, would someone be so kind as to pass me the bread, please?

- Yes, indeed. - With pleasure.

Thank you.

Mind your manners.

[slurping]

- Shh! - What's the matter?

I had my pinkie out, didn't 1?

Temper, Mr. Zalinka. Temper, temper!

Have you boys seen the fashion page

in this week's "Vanity Fair?"

[gasps] Well, there's the cutest pair of pants

with a pegged top and a narrow bottom...

[gasps] If you'll pardon the expression, and there's--

Hey, Eddie, look, we're plastered all over the paper!

- Hey! Pretty nice! - What's it say?

- Yeah, what's it say? - What's it say?

- Yeah, what's it say? - Shall we tell "em?

- Shall we? - By all means.

♪ O'Brien ♪ ♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ What a great double play! ♪

♪ The other team never can get to score ♪

♪ In every inning ♪

♪ We keep 'em from winning ♪

♪ Each time that they try for a rally ♪

♪ That's when we save the day ♪

♪ Someone's on first, and the game is in doubt ♪

♪ The guy up at bat hits a tenable clout ♪

♪ The dust clears away and they're both of them out ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪ ♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪ ♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ Packs 'em into the park ♪

♪ The crowds in the bleachers are there at dawn ♪

♪ They treat us royal ♪

♪ Gee whiz but they're loyal ♪

♪ One game lasted 17 innings ♪

♪ It was way after dark ♪

♪ We couldn't see a darn thing anymore ♪

♪ We thought that the crowd had gone home good and sore ♪

♪ When out of the black came a deafening roar ♪

♪ O'Brien to Ryan to Goldberg ♪

♪ Who is the guy who scoops up the ball ♪

♪ And whips it to second base? ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ And who is the guy who sends on the pill ♪

♪ To first at an awful pace? ♪

♪ Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ And who is the guy who tags 'em at first ♪

♪ With a pitying look on his face? ♪

♪ Mrs. Goldberg's baby boy ♪

♪ Hi hi hi hi ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Goldberg Goldberg that's the boy for us ♪

♪ Hi hi hi hi ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ My mother always wanted me to play the violin ♪

[violin music]

♪ That dainty little instrument ♪

♪ Just didn't fit my chin ♪

♪ The night of my recital I played Ich Liebe Du ♪

[violin music]

♪ When suddenly, a voice rang out ♪

"Hey, throw that cat a fish!"

♪ And then a ripe tomato was hurled in rude attack ♪

♪ I swung my fiddle wildly and batted it right back ♪

♪ That moment started off my new career ♪

♪ And now the sweetest music to my ear ♪

♪ Is ♪

♪ O'Brien to Ryan to Goldberg ♪

♪ What they all come to see ♪

♪ Shortstop to second and then to first ♪

♪ Just 1-2-3, oh the unholy trio ♪

♪ The way that we move on the diamond ♪

♪ It is sheer poetry ♪

♪ Winning the games from the spring to the fall ♪

♪ It's just all for one ♪

♪ And it's just one for all ♪

♪ The three musketeers of the bat and the ball ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ To Ryan ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ To Gold [ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Berg ♪

♪ Hey hey! ♪

[applause]

[laughter]

Hey, how about a game of checkers before we hit the hay?

- Checkers? That's for firemen. - Firemen?

That's for ballplayers, too

if you know what's good for you.

I know what's good for me.

Don't lock the door. I'll be in around 2:00.

Uh, Mike, what's the fine for breaking training?

Twenty five dollars. Why?

Well, let's make it 50, shall we?

The little dears do need their rest, you know.

How much money have you got on you?

Well, in round figures, exactly 38 cents.

You?

Checkers.

- I didn't say nothing. - That's a quarter you owe me.

You know, this could go on all season.

- What's eating him, anyway? - The call of the wild, junior.

- The call of the wild. - Oh, that.

Something's gotta be done! Something's gotta be done!

Wow! Hey, fellas!

[clicks tongue] Take a look.

[KC humming]

- Beautiful, isn't she? - Yeah.

Not bad for a dame who can field a hot grounder.

♪ Dum de da da da dee dum ♪

♪ Dum de da da the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack ♪

♪ I don't care if I never get back ♪

♪ Let me root root root for the home team ♪

♪ If they don't win it's a shame ♪

♪ 'Cause it's one two three strikes you're out ♪

♪ At the old ball game ♪

♪ On two three strikes you're out ♪

♪ At the old ball game ♪♪

[snaps] Boys, I've got it. This is what we do.

First, we... Hey, fellas!

Come here. Hey, come here.

There's one way we can break training

without getting into a jam.

- How's that? - Take her out on a date.

We'll get two other girls, and we'll go stepping.

Denny, I've got a hunch that girl is human.

- No. - Yes!

And guess who she's crazy about.

- You! - Me, personally? You think so?

Sure, Denny, this is it.

If she's a dame, she wants romance.

And she's a dame. Denny, here's your chance.

A touch of the hand, a subtle caress

a few tender little nothings whispered in the moonlight.

Aw! Denny, it's up to you.

But I don't know any tender little nothings, Ed.

It's been my experience

the athletic-type girl like Higgins

might go for the caveman approach

like this, "Come here!"

[grunting]

Wham!

Handle her rough, Denny.

Rough, huh?

No. No.

Well, what do you want me to do?

First go out on that balcony.

Let her see you. Then let nature take its course.

Be nonchalant.

But I don't know about nonchalant

and things like that.

Oi, sit on the rail. Look up at the moon.

-Hm? - Look up at the moon.

Okay. Never mind the moon.

Never mind the moon.

Well, make up your mind.

Attract her attention.

Cough.

[coughing]

Shh! Softly, you dope.

[coughing]

- Hello, Denny! - Uh, hello, Miss Higgins.

Katherine's the name.

Uh, hello, Katherine.

What do I do next?

What did you say, Denny?

I said, what do I do now... I mean...

Talk to her. Say something.

- Go down and talk to her. - How can I get there?

- Go get down the tree. - The tree?

The tree. Go down...

Go on. Don't stop now.

[Katherine laughs] Well!

- Hello, Miss Higgins. - Katherine.

Katherine. It's a lovely night, ain't it?

Yes, it is, Denny.

And that's a great big moon, ain't it?

Yes, it certainly is. It's a lovely moon.

How's that?

I said it's a lovely moon.

Oh, yes.

Did you ever stop to think that a-a lovely night like this

and a, and a great big moon and a-a girl like, uh...

The right girl, Denny.

Oh, sure. Sure.

How would you be able to tell, Denny?

Oh, I could tell.

- Right away? - Mm-hm.

Right from the very first time.

♪ I'll hear heavenly music ♪

♪ I'll hear bells start to chime ♪

♪ I'll hear thunder and I'll be struck with wonder ♪

♪ But I won't have to look a second time ♪

♪ If her voice is a song ♪

♪ And her walk is a dance ♪

♪ And if her laugh is warm and free ♪

♪ If I suddenly seem ♪

♪ To be seeing a dream ♪

♪ She's the right girl for me ♪

♪ If the glow in her eyes and the light in her smile ♪

♪ Could charm a bird right off a tree ♪

♪ I'll be charmed as a bird ♪

♪ And I'll know in a word ♪

♪ She's the right girl for me ♪

♪ She'll have a simple sweet appeal ♪

♪ That wins my affection ♪

♪ She'll be the kind who'll make me feel ♪

♪ She needs my protection ♪

♪ If the sight of her face ♪

♪ And the touch of her hand ♪

♪ Can make me happy as can be ♪

♪ If my heart says come in ♪

♪ Darling where have you been ♪

♪ She's the right girl for me ♪

♪ She's the right girl ♪

♪ For me ♪♪

That was beautiful, Denny, beautiful.

Gee, Miss Higgins, you're wonderful.

Th-the way you picked up that grounder was just wonde--

[laughs] Denny!

Hey! The kid's alright.

Yeah. It's gonna be a gay social season.

Say, there's some little red books in my drawer.

Get me volume three.

Volume three.

One... three. Yipe! Wow!

Here, give me that. Now look, we'll get two other girls.

That'll make it a party of six till we get to town

then it's every man for himself.

Let's see now... Alice, Stella...

Hey, how about Stella?

- Nothing. - Nothing, huh?

Jessie Davis, I think she owned a horse and Buggy.

Eddie, I don't think we're going out tonight.

What do you mean?

There's the bag. Come on now. Hit it hard.

- You're out! - Got you.

See if you can get it.

Hold on a sec. I got it.

- Ooh! - Out!

Oh, that's fun, Denny

but, gee, it is getting a little late.

I think I'd better be going. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Of all the stu...

He's probably coming back for his baseball bat.

What a spot for a pinch hitter.

Pinch hitter? Oh, no, not me. I'm poison to her.

We got to get out of here. The social season.

The little red book, remember?

Attaboy.

She's wonderful! She's beautiful!

Did you see her figure?

Did we see her figure?

Hey! Wait a minute! What are you gonna do?

Taking up where you left off!

Fine pal he turned out to be.

Come on. Quit worrying.

He's just gonna fix it up for you.

He is, Nat? Really?

[humming]

♪ If I suddenly seem to be seeing a dream ♪

♪ She's the right girl for me ♪♪

Who is it?

It's me! O'Brien!

May I come up?

I hope you'll pardon me, Miss Higgins, but I...

Well, there's something on my mind, and I...

- Well... -Yes?

I'd like to apologize for, uh, well...

For everything that's happened, I...

I've been behaving like an idiot, haven't I?

- Yes, you have. - Mm.

Well, I just wanted you to know I was sorry.

- Fine. Was there anything else? - What?

"Cause it's getting kind of late.

Oh, Miss Higgins, don't go in yet.

- Well, why not? - Well, uh...

- Don't spoil it. - Spoil what?

Well, uh, the whole picture.

The-the moonlight on the ocean

and the-the garden and the night

and, uh, you on a balcony.

Why, Mr. O'Brien, you're very poetic for a shortstop.

Call me Edward.

Edward.

By the way, uh, what will I

call you, Miss, uh, K.C. Higgins?

[laughs] Well, no.

What does the K stand for?

- Katherine. - Katherine? That's nice.

What does the C stand for?

- Catherine. - Ca...

Two Katherines?

They, uh, couldn't decide which way to spell it

so they named you twice.

Oh-ho-ho!

[laughs] That's right.

You sure they're talking about me, Nat?

Positive. They're laughing, aren't they?

Yeah. The...

Look, uh, Katherine Catherine, we're wasting time.

Why don't we go for a stroll on the beach in the moonlight?

Well, don't you think it's a little late?

- No. - Well, I do.

Oh. Well, uh, how about tomorrow night?

Perhaps, but you'd better go now, huh?

Okay.

Oh, the stairs, please.

[chuckles]

Goodnight.

Goodnight and uh, sweet dreams, baby doll.

Kissing her hand, the dirty double-crossing rat!

Calm down, will you?

He's just kissing her for you.

Then what, I suppose she'll kiss him

then he'll come back and kiss me, huh?

Well, I know I won't like it. The dirty...

Oh, Edward!

Yes!

You broke training tonight just to speak to me.

You risked a fine.

I'd risk my life.

You would?

Well, then, I'm sure you won't mind.

Mind what?

It's going to cost you 50 bucks, baby doll.

"Goodnight.'

He's only trying to help you.

Looks like he's helping himself.

Wise guy, ain't you? Trying to beat my time, huh!

- Forget her, will you, Denny? - Forget, my eye!

You climbed the wrong balcony this time!

- Go away! - Put up your dukes!

Oh, oh, gee, Denny! Gee, you walked right into it. I'm--

Hey! What's all this noise about?

You guys should be in be... Hey!

- What's the matter with him? - Well, nothin', I...

They were just showing me their new vaudeville act.

Yeah, the new vaudeville act. Yeah.

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Uh...

"Deny thy father and refuse thy name.

"If thou wilt not be but sworn, my love

and I no longer be a cap... a cap..."

Go to bed, Goldberg, and you, too, Juliet!

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

Alright, boys! That's it! Come on!

[dramatic music]

What's going on out there, Mike?

Oh, the boys like to do a little clowning

once in a while. They do it before every game.

The fans eat it up.

[laughing]

Looks like the Senators to me, Joe. Got the right odds.

Three to two.

I'll take $2,000 worth.

You got it, Nick.

Who's that skinny little runt?

Denny Ryan, the second baseman.

Gee, he's cute.

And so active for a little fella.

[crowd laughing]

[whistles]

What you doing?

[dramatic music]

[crowd cheering]

Hey, Denny! Hiya!

Pleased to meet you. My name's Shirley.

Hey, what's the matter? Didn't you like it?

I don't like to mix clowning with baseball.

Maybe I ought to give up baseball

and stick to clowning.

Mr. President, would you mind posing with this big stick?

Thank you, sir. Alright, boys.

De-lighted.

[dramatic music]

Put a nice one in there now.

[crowd cheering]

Get back! Get back!

Safe!

Alright, nice work, Nat.

Alright!

Hit 'em around now, boys! Hit 'em around now!

'Come on, boys!'

Strike.

- Would you like my opinion? - Play ball!

- Strike. - Hey! What's the matter?

You blind? Keep your eyes open!

Watch them, you robber!

Cut it out, O'Brien.

- Cut what out? - Riding the umpire.

Miss Higgins says you-you're antagonizing him.

So what? He's an umpire, ain't he?

Guess she's afraid we'll hurt his feelings.

[crowd cheering]

Slide that!

Safe! That's the old boy!

- Way to go! Now we're going! - He looks like the winning run.

It's one out, and he's still a long way from home.

Man 1: Alright! Hit 'em around now, boys! Hit 'em around!

- Strike! - What?

O'Brien, lay off the umpire!

[chuckling] Oh, so sorry. I almost lost my temper, sir.

You'll pardon the suggestion, sir

but I have a cousin in the optical trade

who can get you the finest pair of spectacles

wholesale. Bifocals, too.

Play ball!

Yeah, why don't you give that big mouth of yours a rest?

I beg your pardon, but I was not addressing you, stupid.

- Ball! - Oh, thank you, sir.

Even you could see that.

Come on! Come on!

[indistinct chatter]

Hit the dirt!

- You're out! - What?

- Boo! - Boo!

- Boo! - But I was safe for a mile!

- I say you're out! - And I say you're a liar.

Of all the dirty, rotten, low-down decisions

that's the worst I've ever seen!

- You big, blind robber! - Are you gonna take that?

Miss Higgins, you don't belong on this field.

Umpires always know best, Miss Higgins.

You've been calling them wrong all day

you-you-you big burglar, you!

That's a very libelous remark, sir.

I don't have to listen to that. Get off the field!

You can't put me off!

Oh, yes, you can, can't you?

Get off. And you're fined $50.

Well, I'm not going to pay it, you crook, you thief!

- You robber-- - Make it a 100.

A $100! And you keep out of this!

- Hey, you, what did I say? - Play ball!

Cert-certainly, sir.

- Ball! - What?

Shut up, you, or I'll put you off the field, too.

That was right over the plate.

I couldn't even reach that with Teddy's big stick.

Well, you could use it to match that big head of yours.

- What did you say? - You heard me.

Your ears don't lap over.

Your nose don't either, but I could arrange it.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Yeah? - Play ball!

Hey! Hey, Ryan! Come back!

- Yeah! - Hey, don't...

What do you wanna start something, buddy?

- Sure! - Hey!

Knock it off. Knock it off! Play ball!

[clamoring]

He's hurt! They'll trample him!

Jimmy, give me the ball!

You're out!

Shirley: Give him air! He's hurt.

Break it up! Break it up!

Alright, boys, the game is over.

Twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine...

- There's 3,000. - Better luck next time, Joe.

Well, the season's just started.

[laughing]

Well, look who's here!

Easy, now. There.

Poor kid. He's out cold.

Here, I'll make him come around.

Why, you!

Gee, I didn't know you were

stuck on the guy.

Who's stuck on him? I ain't stuck on him.

It's just the mother instinct.

That's what it is, the mother instinct.

Hey, you. Let me have that.

Well, he's a nice-looking little fella.

Bring him over to the cafe sometime if he ever wakes up.

He's waking up now. Denny!

- Denny? - Mr. Ryan!

Denny, Denny, what happened? Are you alright?

Who are you, anyway?

- She owns him. - What?

She owns me, too.

Can you do that?

What, what happened to me? Who are you?

- Me? I'm-- - She wants to be your mother.

She wants to be my...

I'll have to take it up with my father.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Hey!

♪ It's time you made your mind up ♪

♪ Not to stall with me ♪

♪ Start playing ball with me ♪

♪ Your future isn't changeable or shapeable ♪

♪ It's inescapable ♪

♪ If you should run to China or to Turkey or Sweden ♪

♪ Or Herzegovina or Mars ♪

♪ It wouldn't matter where you'd be ♪

♪ A force would pull you back to me ♪

♪ It's written in the stars ♪

♪ It's fate baby it's fate ♪

♪ And it's knocking at our door ♪

♪ It's fate baby and that's the reason ♪

♪ You're mine and I am yours ♪

♪ Don't wait baby don't wait ♪

♪ It'll happen anyhow ♪

♪ Don't wait baby to do next season ♪

♪ What you can do right now ♪

♪ There's a plan for every woman and every man ♪

♪ Each was made for the other ♪

♪ Don't treat me like a brother ♪

♪ Too late baby too late ♪

♪ So accept your destiny ♪

♪ It's fate baby ♪

♪ That you were meant to fall ♪

♪ In love with me ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ I've gone and studied up on my astrology ♪

♪ I'm really knowledgy ♪

♪ It doesn't matter if you are Aquarius ♪

♪ Or Sagittarius ♪

♪ Or Gemini or Scorpio or Taurus the bull ♪

♪ Capricornus or Pisces the fish ♪

♪ Winter summer spring or fall ♪

♪ As long as you were born at all ♪

♪ Mister you're my dish ♪

♪ It's fate baby it's fate ♪

♪ Can't I even put up a fuss? ♪

♪ It's fate baby the stars have written ♪

♪ That you and me is us ♪

♪ It's right baby so right ♪

♪ I can see it in the cards ♪

♪ Don't fight baby take off that mitten ♪

♪ 'Cause you and me is pards ♪

♪ Listen Mack it's all arranged in the zodiac ♪

♪ Got you coming and going ♪

♪ Hey bud your future's showing ♪

♪ Too late baby too late ♪

♪ This feeling in me stirs ♪

♪ It's fate baby so let's start buying towels ♪

♪ Marked his and hers ♪♪

[train chugging]

[instrumental music]

[crowd cheering]

[train chugging]

[music continues]

[crowd cheering]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Yoo-hoo! Denny! Denny!

Come here. I want to talk to you.

I'm sorry. I'm very busy now.

Why doesn't she leave me alone?

I got to see you just for a minute.

I can't now. I'm busy.

Denny, why don't you talk to the lady?

She ain't no lady, she's been sending me candy and flowers

and she's been writing me and phoning me.

What does she want from me? Gee whiz!

Hey! you can't drive a horse up on the sidewalk.

- Denny! - Shirley.

- You crazy or something? - You come here, Denny!

What are you, what are you running away for?

- What's the matter with you? - She just wants to mother you.

What, with a whip in her hand? What are you crazy or something?

You bad boy, I got a good notion to take you on my knee.

You mean over your knee, don't you?

I know what I mean.

What do you want with me, anyway?

I got an invitation for you, all of you, the whole team!

- Oh? - You, too, I guess.

An invitation to what?

Joe Lorgan's throwing a big party

Saturday night after the game, down at Gibby's Wharf.

And he wants the whole team to come.

Well, I don't know.

Are you afraid the boys might enjoy themselves?

Oh, you'll love it.

There will be beer and food, music

and dancing and clams!

A clambake! Well, look away!

- Look away! - Look away!

♪ Look away! Look away! ♪

♪ It's a lovely day today in the USA ♪

♪ Like a great big strawberry shortcake ♪

♪ Or a turkey on Thanksgiving Day ♪

♪ Like the 4th of July ♪

♪ Or apple pie ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Like a hot dog covered with mustard ♪

♪ Or an amateur hometown play ♪

♪ Like a circus parade ♪

♪ Or lemonade ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Go to a picnic ♪

♪ Go to a clambake ♪

♪ Go to a barn dance ♪

♪ Or county fair ♪

♪ You'll see the happy residents ♪

♪ Raising kids to be the future presidents ♪

♪ Take a man like Abraham Lincoln ♪

♪ Take a state like Iowa ♪

♪ Take a sugar-cured ham ♪

♪ A candied yam ♪

♪ Or take your favorite Uncle Sam ♪

♪ And shout a big hooray! ♪

♪ It's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪

♪ You never can know a country ♪

♪ Till you know the folks ♪

♪ See 'em in their native locales ♪

♪ If you want to see young acorns growing into oaks ♪

♪ You gotta see the fellas and gals ♪

♪ And as the sweetest extra-special ♪

♪ Bunch of merchandise ♪

♪ The all-American gal wins the prize ♪

[tapping]

[instrumental music]

♪ The all-American man is a hunk of man ♪

♪ He's a handyman in a pinch ♪

♪ And maybe he can't make love like Aladdin can ♪

♪ Still he's quite a guy in a clinch ♪

♪ The all-American fella wears a coat of high finance ♪

♪ But the all-American girl wears the pants

[tapping]

♪ Like the bell on a little red schoolhouse ♪

♪ Or a vote on election day ♪

♪ Like a brass spittoon or Daniel Boone ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

Back east, it's "Hey, bud."

Down south, it's "Hi, y'all."

Cowboys say "Howdy."

Injuns say "How."

♪ No matter where you're meetin' folks ♪

♪ It's the real American way of greetin' folks ♪

♪ Take a gallery of Bingham ♪

♪ Take an oyster from Chesapeake bay ♪

♪ Take our ice-cream cones ♪

♪ Or Casey Jones ♪

♪ Take Mr. Tambo and Mr. Bones ♪

♪ They're really here to stay ♪

♪ 'Cause it's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪♪

- Yay! - Yay!

[cheering]

[instrumental music]

So we're entertaining a bunch of ballplayers.

Well, I don't get it.

Another thing I don't get

these boys are a cinch to win the pennant.

You switched and bet a chunk of dough against them.

Well I happen to like the odds. They're 4-to-1.

- Yeah, but they're unbeatable. - Yeah.

So was one-round Doug until he was knocked cold in the second.

You know that fight was fixed! You, yourself--

You don't say.

You sure need fattening up.

Oh, I don't need anything.

Just bones.

She don't feed you enough, that one.

- What one? - The one that owns you.

She doesn't own me, and she feeds me plenty.

Then she ought to change your formula.

- Is she your girl? - Yes. No.

I-I mean, I don't know.

If I was your girl, you'd know.

Some people just never appreciate.

Appreciate what?

Oh, just appreciate.

You know, Dennis, come to think of it

she's really not your type girl at all.

Look, will you do me a favor and don't think about it?

She's wonderful.

Sometimes a person thinks a person is his type of person

and all of a sudden he meets another type person

who turns out to be really his type person.

You know what I mean?

No, and I don't believe you.

Beside when, when the right one comes along, I'll know.

I'll wait.

Say, uh, what's with you and Denny

or am I too personal?

Well, yes, you are. Much too.

Well, I have a reason for wanting to know

a personal reason.

Oh?

You've been keeping me awake nights.

I have?

You have.

- Indirectly, of course. - Well...

Denny talks about you in his sleep

keeps waking me up.

Oh.

Like last night, for instance.

All of a sudden, he woke up yelling

"slide, Katherine, slide."

Denny even dreams baseball.

He wasn't dreaming about baseball.

How do you know?

Because when I leaned over to wake him up,

he embraced me, like this...

and then he kissed me like this.

You're-you're right.

It couldn't have been about baseball.

That's what I said.

Goldberg: Okay, Eddie, okay.

Boy, I got to hand it to you. You win.

Win what, Nat?

Oh, uh, nothing, Miss Higgins.

Come on, Nat. What is it? Tell me.

Oh, something personal between us.

I bet him a dollar that I'd kiss you before the dance was over.

You know something, Eddie?

Sometimes I don't get you.

- Sometimes I don't get myself. - What did you tell her for?

- I didn't intend to. - Then why did you?

Because she's got poor Denny crazy about her

and she doesn't care that much about him.

How do you know?

From the way she kissed me.

Say, uh, you're kind of mixed-up, ain't you, fella?

Yeah. kind of.

[instrumental music]

- Gee. At last. - At last what, Denny?

Oh, you know, Katherine. You must know.

Oh, no-no, Denny. Please.

Honest, Katherine, from the minute you picked that grounder

and threw to third, I-I knew it was love.

- No, Denny. - No?

I-It's just that I don't want you to build up any false hopes.

I like you very much, Denny, but, well...

Oh, you mean, maybe when the season's over, huh?

Or after we win the pennant?

Well, we'll-we'll talk about it then.

Oh, good.

Denny, Denny, will you do me a favor?

Well, sure.

Will you kiss me right now, hard?

Kiss you now? Here? Now?

Right here.

No kick in it, huh?

No. I'm sorry, Denny.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, sure, it's alright. I understand.

Sometimes a person thinks a person

is her type of person, and all of a sudden

she finds that-that person's really not her type of person

but another one is her type of person.

It doesn't always work that way, Denny.

- It doesn't always work? - Mm-mmm.

What are you doing spying on me?

Who's spying? I was just watching.

Some people just never appreciate.

Come here, you.

Well, come here.

Kiss me.

[music continues]

Have any kick in it?

Uh-huh.

Good.

I was beginning to worry a little bit.

[music continues]

Hello, Shirley.

Hi.

[music continues]

[applause]

Oh, Dennis, you shouldn't have kissed me

in front of all these people.

Look.

[instrumental music]

Hey, what's wrong with Mrs. O'Briens boy Eddie?

Heart trouble. It looks like heart trouble to me.

Sure, what kind of an Irish lad that can sit here

while fiddlers are fiddling, fifes are fifing

and colleens smiling like it was their wedding night?

Well, you should be leaping in the air

knocking your heels together!

Doing the handsome proud. Come on.

- Come on! - This way...

[music continues]

[tapping]

[laughing]

Go to it, Michael, me boy!

Fine, fine.

The Gilhulys were the greatest dancers in all Ireland!

[claps]

[music continues]

This is the step me uncle taught me

the night of the big wind.

[crowd cheering]

Now you can see why the O'Briens

were the first kings of Ireland.

[cheering]

Little hoofer, that O'Brien.

Not a bad shortstop, either.

Ah, that infield wouldn't be much good without him.

[instrumental music]

Where did you get that hat?

Where did you get that hat?

♪ Where did you get that hat? ♪

♪ Where did you get that hat? ♪

♪ Folks ask me every day [

♪ Isn't it a nifty one you often hear them say ♪

♪ Put it on it's funny ♪

♪ Can't you see the people smile? ♪

♪ It keeps me busy tellin' them ♪

♪ The history of this tile ♪

♪ It's the hat ♪

♪ Me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Now talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down old Broadway ♪

♪ Sure not a man in line looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother used to say ♪

♪ As your father did in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ It's the hat me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down old Broadway ♪

♪ Sure not a man in line looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother used to say ♪

♪ As your ♪

♪ Father did in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

Hey!

[instrumental music]

[tapping]

[tapping]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

♪ It's the hat me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down old Broadway ♪

♪ Not a man in line looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother used to say ♪

♪ Than your father did in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪♪

[tapping]

[tapping]

[music continues]

[crowd cheering]

What a wonderful night.

What a wonderful clambake.

The most wonderful clambake there ever was.

Yeah. Wonderful.

What's eating you? Oh, as if I didn't know.

Look, I told you, I'm not interested in Katherine.

You got a clear field. She's not my type.

She's not my type, either. Forget it.

Sure, I'll forget it

but you can't forget it.

Why don't you quit fighting it, Ed?

After all, Katherine is beautiful and smart--

And she's got a great throwing arm.

Great throwing arm, huh?

You just didn't look any further.

Remember the night we saw her swimming in the pool?

- Remember? - No.

"No," he says.

In that gold bathing suit.

Mmm...

Hey, you're drooling.

[chuckles]

Yeah, but Shirley's my type.

Yeah, she's kind of timid and sort of shy.

You should have seen me sweep her off her feet.

That's what they like, the rough stuff.

Yes, siree. You got to treat them rough.

Cave man stuff.

Yeah. They like that cave man stuff.

So she hits me over the head with her own club

slings me over her shoulder

carries me out of the cave into the woods.

Then what did you do?

I don't know. I was unconscious.

You dope, you missed the best part of the dream.

You think so?

[knock on door]

- Good morning. - Oh, hello, boys.

Hello, Mr. Lorgan, how are you?

Fine. I'd like to have a little chat with you, Eddie.

Say, I'm gonna get a newspaper. I'll be back in few minutes.

Oh, would you have a chair, Mr. Lorgan?

- Oh, thanks. - What's on your mind?

You know, I liked the way you handled yourself

last night at the clambake.

Yes, sir, I liked it a lot.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Lorgan, but what are you leading up to?

Oh, a job.

I'm thinking of opening up a cafe

big, swanky place for the carriage trade.

You know, I could use you in the show.

Gee, that's swell, but, uh, what about Dennis?

He's my partner, you know.

Oh, I think we can work that out.

Good. How much will you pay?

Well, you've been getting a lot of publicity lately.

I can double your last Vaudeville salary.

- It's a deal. - Good. When can you start?

Well, not until after the baseball season's over.

- Oh, not till then? - Oh, no.

You don't think I could walk out now, do you?

We practically got the pennant cinched.

Well, I'm not interested in baseball.

You see, I got a big chorus of girls waiting

ready to start to rehearse.

Thirty of them.

Gee, 30 girls.

Yeah. A bevy of beauties.

Well, I'm sorry you can't make it.

Oh, wait a minute. Look.

Couldn't you hold off for a while?

The baseball season's practically over.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

Well, you gonna be in town for a while?

Sure. The season finishes here.

Well, couldn't you arrange to get away

at nights for rehearsals?

No, no, I couldn't do that.

Well, then there's no use in talking anymore.

- So long, Eddie. - Wait a minute!

Look, I'll do it, but...

I'll do it, but keep it quiet, will you?

Oh, sure. I wouldn't want to get you in a jam.

I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll call you tomorrow.

And let you know when we start rehearsals.

- Yeah. - So long.

So long.

- So long, fellas. - So long.

How do you know it will work?

With Eddie? Oh, it's a cinch.

You just see his face when I told him

there were going to be 30 chorus girls, 30 of them?

[laughs] Look what one dame did to a guy named Samson.

Who was he, a fighter?

So, you see, I'm all set.

I'll get the act framed

and then when the season's over, you're in.

Of course, I'll have to sneak out every night.

You'll cover up for me, won't you?

What else can I do? I'm your pal, ain't 1?

Attaboy.

You can't rehearse all night

and play ball the next day, Eddie.

Why, with a few bad breaks, we can lose the pennant.

Quit worrying, will you? I can handle it.

I'm in great shape.

[instrumental music]

[crowd booing]

[music continues]

Pass me the milk, will you, Ed?

"Wolves continue slump in game with Chicago.

"The wolves dropped another game today to Chicago

"who swept to a 6-5 victory

"aided by a flurry of last-inning hits

and three startling errors by..."

By shortstop Eddie O'Brien!

Go ahead. Read it!

What's gotten into him, anyway?

The kid's lost his pep, no coordination, no zip.

He plays like a tired old man.

Ah, he ain't tired.

He's been hitting the hay early every night.

In fact, too early.

Yes, that's very unusual for O'Brien.

- I should say so. - Something's eating him.

Well, what do the other boys say? Have they got any ideas?

Well, no, not exactly.

Well, come on. What is it?

Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing.

Look, boys, if O'Brien stays in this slump

we can kiss the pennant good-bye.

So, if you have any ideas, open up. Come on.

Tell her, Slappy.

Well, uh, it's really

got two angles, see?

You, well, you take, like, a racehorse.

He's going great, winning every out

but all of a sudden, well, he really starts looking around.

He's getting restless. See?

What has O'Brien got to be restless about?

Well, it's like Slappy says

you take that racehorse.

When he starts looking around

he's looking at another nag.

Yeah. With a ribbon in her hair.

That sounds like a pretty silly reason

for losing ball games

but if O'Brien wants to chase the girls, let him.

Who's stopping him?

As long as he keeps decent hours.

Well? Oh, oh, yes.

That other angle.

What else is bothering our little racehorse?

- You. - Me?

Miss Higgins, you're the other nag.

- I'm the-- - Hm-hmm.

Really?

Oh, so you want me to play up to O'Brien

so we'll win the pennant, is that it?

Can you think of a better reason?

No. No, of course not.

But personally, I'm-I'm only interested

in his batting average.

Look, Joe, I can't rehearse all night

and play ball in the afternoon.

I need some rest.

You gotta get someone else, Joe. I'm through.

You'll have all next week to rest up.

I don't care what it's doing to your ball-playing!

I gotta get this show set!

And I got to play baseball!

I feel like a heel letting the team down, Joe.

That pennant means extra dough to those guys.

Listen, I don't like that kind of talk.

Don't threaten me, Joe!

No! I'm not coming down, not tonight or any night!

I think that boy needs a little talking-to.

- Hello, Eddie. - Oh, hiya.

Uh, what's your hurry?

Well, I'm tired. I'm gonna hit the hay.

Eddie, wait a minute.

Let-let's have a little talk, huh?

- Just you and me. - Come on, Eddie.

Look, uh, if it's about my batting average

there's nothing left to talk about.

That's why I want to get some sleep.

Well, that's just it, Eddie.

M-maybe you're getting too much sleep.

That can happen, too, you know.

You see, it's this way, Eddie.

You're, well, you're just like a horse

I mean, a racehorse.

You're all nerves, you're too finely trained

and, all of a sudden, after you win a race

well, you start looking around.

Yeah? What am I looking at?

Well, don't you know?

It's a long time since I've been a racehorse.

Well, anyway, Eddie, what I'm trying to say

is that well, maybe you're getting restless.

You should relax more

uh, get out and just bust out, you know?

I-1 really think it might do you some good.

Uh, get yourself a girl, maybe

and just bust out.

Uh-huh.

And, uh, what girl am I gonna

bust out with?

Well, I don't know

but well, if you can't find one

there-there's always me.

You?

You want to go out with me?

You're asking me?

I-i-it's for the team.

Well, sure. The team.

Your-your batting average, you know.

Sure. I know.

You-you've been making errors.

- Am I making one now? - Unh-unh.

Oh, Miss Higgins

you're the prettiest manager in baseball.

You're certainly the prettiest shortstop.

Oh, I've been a foul ball up to now

but it's all gonna be different from here in.

Goodnight, Miss Higgins.

Well, Eddie, wait.

Don't-don't you want to bust out?

Right now, all that counts is winning that pennant.

I'll take a rain check on the other.

Oh, I'm gonna lay that pennant

right at your feet.

Baby, when I do, we're going to bust out

in every town in this league.

Oh, Eddie.

Hello, Eddie. Well, I hope I'm not intruding.

Good evening, Miss Higgins.

Look, honey, run along, will you? I'll see you tomorrow.

So, this is why you had to miss the rehearsal tonight, huh?

I thought you said you needed a rest.

Rehearsal? What's he talking about, Eddie?

- Doesn't she know? - Honey, I'll tell you tomorrow.

Why, he's been rehearsing every night

for the past couple weeks.

Rehearsing every night?

Yes, for a show that I'm putting on.

Oh, the girls are gonna miss you tonight.

They need you badly, Eddie.

- The girls? - Listen, Katherine.

I'll explain all this tomorrow.

From now on, they can have him

and the team can get along without him

for the rest of the season.

Personally, I can get along without him

for the rest of my life.

Well, I guess I can get along

without you, too, Eddie, from now on.

Oh, it's beginning to penetrate my thick skull.

You must have bet a big chunk of dough against the Wolves.

[chuckles] The little boy's beginning to get smart.

So you played me for a sucker, huh?

Well, I had to protect my investment.

I guess there's no point in me giving you the routine

about baseball being a great game.

We gotta keep it clean, especially for the kids.

No. You'd just be wasting your time.

That's what I thought.

[grunting]

Come on!

[intense music]

[kids clamoring]

[thud]

[kids clamoring]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[whistles]

[instrumental music]

Alright, folks! Get a program before the game starts!

Programs! Programs!

We want O'Brien! We want O'Brien!

- Louder. - We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien! We want O'Brien!

This is the guy they need in there.

Man 2: No. He went all to pieces.

What do you mean, all to pieces?

Anybody's entitled to a slump once in a while.

Hey! Look!

- We want O'Brien! - Louder.

We want O'Brien! We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien! We want O'Brien!

It's Eddie O'Brien, fellas! Right here!

[clamoring]

Why don't get in there and play, Eddie?

Nobody asked me. I can't walk out--

We'll carry you if it'll do any good.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

[clamoring]

Holy smokes! Look, it's Eddie.

Hey, Eddie! What do you know?

That-a boy, Eddie!

What are you going to do about him, Miss Higgins?

Nothing. There's nothing to be done.

It wouldn't hurt to talk to him.

Mike, there's nothing to talk about.

Besides, he's probably in no condition to play anyhow.

Why don't you put him out there and see?

Yeah, we have plenty of time before the game starts.

No!

But you can talk to him if you want to.

Attaboy, Eddie! Get in there!

If he goes in, we can kiss our 20,000 good-bye.

Ah, you fellas give up too easy.

What are you talking about? What 20,0007?

Have you boys been betting against--

Shut up!

O'Brien mustn't play today, boys.

- That's it. - Okay.

A change in the line-up for today's game!

O'Brien at shortstop for the Wolves!

[crowd applauding]

Denny. Denny, come here.

Hi, honey. What are you doing here?

Listen, they're going to get him.

- Get who? - Eddie.

- They're out to get him. - What?

I heard Lorgan and his men talking.

They bet a lot of money against the Wolves.

They're a bad lot, Denny. They won't stop at anything.

You got to tell Eddie not to play.

Oh, he'd play anyway.

You got to stop him from playing.

Sure, sure. Stop him from playing.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll stop him.

Hey, Ed, pal.

How about giving them the old routine? The gag?

Sure. You got the softball?

- Right there. - Let's go! Come on!

[clamoring]

[applauding]

[instrumental music]

[thud]

[people laughing]

[whistles]

[mouthing]

Eddie: Come on. Let me have it.

Hurry up. Let me have it.

[instrumental music]

[laughing]

[applause]

Eddie! Eddie! Hey, fellas, come here!

- You alright? Eddie! - Get a doctor!

So our boy was really hurt.

Yeah, what do you know?

- I'm Dr. Winston. - Come on, right here, doc.

Open up, boys. Come on.

Better get him to the locker room right away.

- Get him up. - Take him easy, now.

- Go ahead. - Nice and easy, boys.

Take it easy. Nice and easy.

Well, I guess there's ain't nothing left for us to do.

Well, wait. Maybe he's only stunned for a few minutes.

We gotta keep him out.

- Karl, Steve. - Yeah?

They don't know you two, go down there

tell them you're couple of doctors

and keep O'Brien out.

- He'll be out, Joe. - Okay.

Take it easy now, boys.

- Put him right down here. - Careful. Very careful.

Give me room, boys. Give me room.

- I'm Dr. Karl. - I'm Dr. Stevens.

- How is he? - Can't be sure yet.

- May be a concussion. - A concussion?

So you fellas better get out of here.

- We can take care of him. - Alright, boys.

- Back in the field. - Come on, Miss Higgins.

He'll be alright.

I don't suppose you have a stethoscope with you?

Just cut me short, doc. Say, why don't you run along?

We don't all have to be here.

Well, thank you very much.

I would like to see the game.

- Hmm... - Well, what is it?

Uh? Oh, it's 10 minutes after 2:00, doc.

Run along, doc, will you and enjoy the game.

That's a nice fellow.

[groaning]

Say, he's a light sleeper, ain't he?

Yeah.

- Call it. - Heads.

You win.

[instrumental music]

He's safe.

[music continues]

[thud]

[crowd cheering]

He's safe!

- How is he? - Them doctors won't let me in.

They say they may have to operate.

What?

Denny, Denny, what's this about gambling?

Who said anything about gambling?

- Shirley did. - Shirley, you didn't--

Now don't you start that.

I know you knocked him out, you did it on purpose.

Now, look, I was on a spot.

Now you don't want a dead shortstop on your hands, do you?

Why didn't you call the cops? They're all over the place.

I was too scared to. Why didn't you tell me?

How did I know you were gonna bean him with a hard ball?

Oh, Denny!

Mike, how's he? Have you seen him?

No, but he's still out.

Them two doctors won't let me in.

They're saying they're gonna operate.

Operate! In-in there? That's impossible!

Well, that's what they're saying.

Well, I'm going in there!

Gee, is it that bad?

You hit him next time, will you? My knuckles is getting sore.

Hey, you can't come in here.

Why not?

Doctor's orders, and I'm the doctor.

This man's been hurt very bad.

Now shut the door and get out of here.

Those two aren't doctors. Come on! Quick!

Karl: You can't come in here!

[clamoring]

[grunting]

[whistling]

[people clamoring]

[thud]

Run it out! Run it out!

Stay, stay.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

- Get back! - He's safe!

- Good boy, old boy. - Alright, watch his pitch.

There they are, officers!

Come on, now!

Wait a minute, Joe! What's your hurry?

Stop him! Somebody, stop him!

Denny, stop him!

Just a second.

Buddy.

[all gasping]

Oh, why, I hardly touched him.

I guess I don't know my own strength.

Take him away, fellas.

Come on, boys.

Alright, boys! Play ball! Batter up!

Denny! Denny, come on, get in there, kid.

Get in there, kid. Send Goldberg around!

- Slappy, is he still out? - Yeah.

I don't think he's seriously hurt, Miss Higgins.

He's merely stunned.

Eddie, darling. Darling, please look at me.

Oh, Eddie, can you talk? How do you feel?

I feel fine.

- Oh, darling. - I feel wonderful.

Now, you just lie right here and don't you move.

Who's moving?

Oh, darling, I was so worried

when Dennis hit your, the head with the ball.

Dennis!

Where is he?

Where is he? Move it, I'll murder him!

I'll kill him!

- Eddie! Eddie, wait! - Let me go!

He did it on purpose!

No, Eddie! He didn't! Oh, Eddie!

[instrumental music]

[thud]

Get in there, boy. Get in there.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Where is he? Let me at him!

Let me at him! Let me at him!

I want him! I'll tear him apart!

Alright, get a hit! You can catch him!

Yeah! Yeah! Give me a bat! Give me a bat!

[instrumental music]

Honest, Eddie, I can explain the whole thing.

Let's go, Eddie! Come on, Eddie!

[instrumental music]

[thud]

[dramatic music]

Eddie! Eddie, stop!

Stop!

- Wait! Eddie, stop! - Eddie!

Eddie, wait!

Eddie!

[people cheering]

♪ Keep your seats hold your hats ♪

♪ It's not the finish of the show ♪

♪ The love scene must be played out ♪

♪ Before the final fade-out ♪

♪ Sinatra gets Garrett ♪

♪ Kelly gets Williams ♪

♪ For that's the plot the author wrote ♪

♪ So turn this duet into a quartet ♪

♪ And end it on a happy note ♪

[tapping]

♪ Like a Philadelphia scrapple ♪

♪ Like a Washington expose ♪

♪ Like the St. Louis blues or the Dallas news ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Like a Saturday night on main street ♪

♪ Like a Ford or a Chevrolet ♪

♪ Like potato chips or comic strips ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Take Judy Garland [♪

♪; Take Kathryn Grayson ♪

♪ Take Mr. Crosby ♪

♪ Or Fred Astaire ♪

♪ Don't let the movie set them up ♪

♪ 'Cause they look so pretty when we pin 'em up ♪

♪ Like the annual Elks convention ♪

♪ Like a Rotary Club soiree ♪

♪ Like masonic halls or firemen's balls ♪

♪ Like honeymooning at Niagara falls ♪

♪ They're really here to stay ♪

♪ 'Cause it's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪♪

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]