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- ♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:07,964
[upbeat music]
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,400
- Hi.
4
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:10,836
You have quite
the pep in your step.
5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,229
- We're taking our daughter's
soccer team to
6
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,709
to regionals today.
7
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We're so proud.
8
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- I thought it
might have something to do
9
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,018
with the new GM Amana
you're driving.
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00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,803
It's an all-American car
for an all-American family
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00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:21,891
like yours.
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00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:22,631
- Hello, there.
13
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,111
Who's this?
14
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:24,937
- This is my daughter, Jasmine.
15
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:25,982
- Oh.
16
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,070
OK.
17
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- Kids love the Amana, too.
18
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,726
From the smartphone-compatible
seat-back monitors
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00:00:30,813 --> 00:00:33,033
to the rear personal
climate controls.
20
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,731
The Amana makes those
long road trips a breeze.
21
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- Looks like Jasmine's
friend loves the Amana, too.
22
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- Oh, no.
23
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This is my son.
24
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,737
- Oh, that makes sense.
25
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- Kobe.
26
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,218
- Interesting name.
27
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Not what I was expecting,
but I can handle it.
28
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Just like the Amana can handle
snow and rain with its
29
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,702
state-of-the-art four-wheel
drive and antilock--
30
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,096
so your daughter's
adopted then, right?
31
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,793
- Yeah.
Oh. Hi, honey.
32
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- Whoa. What the fuck?
Who's that?
33
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- My husband.
34
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- How is he Black?
35
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- He was born Black.
36
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:04,542
He loves the Amana, too,
especially the leg room.
37
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His legs are so long and thick.
38
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- Cool. That's cool.
39
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I'm cool with all of this.
40
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- You sure, dude?
41
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You sound weird.
42
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- In fact, we designed
the car with him in mind,
43
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with all peoples in mind.
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From extra leg room to the--
I'm sorry.
45
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How did you two meet?
46
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:18,991
- In college.
47
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- Right.
48
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:21,864
So like football player
and cheerleader?
49
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- I majored
in Eastern philosophy.
50
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- Yeah,
and I was a cheerleader,
51
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:26,956
but can we just
focus on the Amana?
52
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It's dual air bags on both
driver and passenger side,
53
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360-degree surround-view
camera, auto-dimming mirrors.
54
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- Don't forget
the fast USB charging.
55
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,401
- Wasn't that
a British accent?
56
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Are you messing with me?
57
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The Amana also comes
with heads-up display.
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Speaking of heads-up display,
I'd love
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a heads-up on your history.
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- Fine.
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00:01:46,235 --> 00:01:48,195
I had an unplanned
pregnancy when I was young.
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I decided to keep the baby.
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And after Mark and I got
married, we adopted Jasmine.
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- That's the Asian girl?
65
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- You can just say "girl."
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We've always tried
to celebrate and embrace
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our family's diversity.
All right.
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So let's go, everyone.
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- The GM Amana--
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it's a whole new car
for a whole new America.
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00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,734
You know, I actually dated
a Black girl once.
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- Dude, don't.
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♪ ♪
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You have a question?
- Nope.
75
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,918
[dramatic music]
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00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:23,186
♪ ♪
77
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- Exactly,
which is why I think...
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00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,800
[indistinct chatter]
79
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- Aww.
80
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:34,154
[upbeat music]
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Ew.
Get a room.
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00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,113
[sighs]
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[indistinct chatter]
84
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Awww.
85
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♪ ♪
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Ugh.
87
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Awww.
88
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♪ ♪
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Awwww.
90
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Awwww!
91
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,225
♪ ♪
92
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,271
Ahh!
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00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,751
[applause]
94
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:07,926
- Yeah, me, too.
95
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,232
This is so nice.
96
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,799
Hi.
97
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,235
- I like this.
- You like it?
98
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,062
[leaf blower whirring]
- Yeah. We'll take it.
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00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,629
[laughter]
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- Awwww.
101
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:20,243
- Uh-uh.
- Awwww!
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- Never mind.
- Never mind.
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♪ ♪
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- Awww.
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00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:30,558
Awww.
106
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[groans]
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00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,825
Awwww.
108
00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,827
Awwww.
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00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,438
Aww. Awww.
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- Excuse me, hi. Excuse me.
- Hey.
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00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:46,095
- Hi.
- Awww.
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- Can we talk to you?
113
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- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah.
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What-- what is your problem?
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You think that we're cute?
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Like, you can treat us
like we're little bunny rabbits
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because we're gay?
118
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,497
Why do you do that?
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What is that?
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That "awww"?
121
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,980
- You look like my dead son.
122
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both: Awwww.
123
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[together]
Awwww.
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- When one of our writers,
Jeremy Beiler,
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told me about experiencing the
"aww" phenomenon as a gay man,
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I thought, I have almost
definitely been this woman.
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- It's sort of
like when you see
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toddlers playing with a
tea set, you're like, awwww.
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They're pretending
to drink real tea.
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Isn't that so cute?
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[dramatic music]
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[siren chirps]
133
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- All right, everybody.
Y'all know the drill.
134
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- All right.
Everybody, calm down.
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I'm going to get us
out of this.
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- Fuck you, Derek!
137
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:48,723
I don't even know
what roll we on, yo.
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00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,855
And these cops can be
the kill-the-niggas kind.
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00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:52,727
- OK, OK, listen, we
ain't got that much time.
140
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:53,728
Dave.
Dave!
141
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,295
Listen to me.
142
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,471
Reach into that side
compartment slowly.
143
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,602
- Why are you moving?
- Roe, relax.
144
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It's going to work.
It's going to work.
145
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Slowly.
146
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,826
- Privlage?
147
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,349
- Put that on your face,
neck, and hands right now.
148
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:07,307
Right now, face, neck,
and hands.
149
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,265
- In that order?
- What? Hell, no!
150
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,397
- Just do it, Dave!
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00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:11,789
This is life and death, Monroe!
152
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Just spray the shit!
153
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God damn!
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- Quick, quick, quick, quick.
155
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He coming, coming.
156
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Come on.
157
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,541
- Let me see your hands!
158
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,282
Let me see your hands, you--
159
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oh.
160
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,632
[chuckles]
161
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:29,677
- Hey.
- How are things?
162
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,592
- Hi.
- Hi.
163
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,593
- How you doing?
164
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,681
Great, I hope.
165
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- Yeah.
166
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,032
Is everything OK, Officer?
167
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- Yeah, I-- I--
168
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,689
I caught you guys, uh,
doing a 60 in a 55.
169
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,473
- Oh.
170
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,128
- So where are you snow
bunnies going in such a hurry?
171
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- Uh, I--
172
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I just came back from a
smorgasbord in-- in Vermont.
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- Oh, and I was at a-- a
Bruno Mars concert at Equinox.
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- And I-- I can't even
remember where I've been,
175
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,666
because I've just been
eating so much mayo.
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00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,582
- [laughs] And now we're going
home to watch "Selling Sunset,"
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00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,933
so...
- Yeah, and do rosé Pilates.
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00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,805
- Yeah, rosé Pilates.
179
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:14,112
- Those are some interesting
outfits you girls have on.
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Are y'all, uh, white lady
rappers, or lesbians, or--
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00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,901
- Oh my god.
Are you profiling us?
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- No.
183
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,120
No, no, no, no.
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00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,426
- You better not
be profiling us.
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- Do you know who my father is?
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00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:28,257
- Uh, do I smell
weed in this car?
187
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- Sadly, Officer,
yes, yes, it is.
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00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:34,959
- But if you let us go, then we
promise never to do it again.
189
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,352
- Yeah.
Yeah.
190
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:37,658
I can do that.
Right?
191
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We all smoke a little weed,
right?
192
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:40,791
- [chuckles]
193
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:44,447
- Makes the sex better.
194
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:45,883
[crickets chirping]
195
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,711
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.
196
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:48,843
[laughter]
197
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,148
I'm one of the good ones.
198
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:51,367
- That's funny.
199
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:52,586
- Yeah.
200
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,631
Besides, you're--
you're white ladies.
201
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:55,632
You're fine.
202
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,068
- Wow.
203
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,766
Racist piece of-- mm.
204
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,245
You know what?
205
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,683
We're-- we're actually
a little lost.
206
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,380
And so if you could
just point us back
207
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,860
in the direction of the city.
208
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:09,211
- Yeah, yeah, you just
want to make a U-turn.
209
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,865
I-90's about 3 miles back.
210
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,563
But hey, listen,
be careful, OK?
211
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,260
[whispering]
Because I saw some Black people
212
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,697
walking around back there.
213
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,395
- Well,
thank you so much, Officer.
214
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,049
- And we'll be sure
to assume that they're
215
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:22,746
criminals, like you did.
216
00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:25,488
Bye.
217
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:28,665
Piggies can kiss my ass!
218
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,538
Whee!
219
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,018
- Privlage was born from
a joke that I do onstage
220
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,716
about how white women cry.
221
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,631
And I figured, like, how
can we bottle up their tears
222
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,328
and sell them
on a bigger platform?
223
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,243
- To be completely
fair, I've been arrested
224
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:42,897
more times than Derek.
225
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,029
- The title, "Privlage--"
strictly Yamaneika.
226
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,901
- What would y'all
do without me?
227
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,076
You welcome.
228
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:51,296
[dramatic music]
229
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,126
- Is your bacon cruelty-free?
230
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,476
Don't answer that.
231
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,999
[laughs] I just--
232
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,914
I'll have the bacon
avocado toast.
233
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,830
But you know, just,
no avocado or toast.
234
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:06,398
- And I will have
235
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,270
the egg white special, please.
236
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,054
Yum.
237
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,926
- Oh, and can we have
two more mimosas, girl?
238
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,275
- Yas.
239
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,668
- Yas, bitch.
240
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,496
Work all day.
241
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:17,409
Oh my god.
242
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,976
Is that a new blood diamond?
243
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,500
- Yes.
244
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,066
Listen, I have some
really incredible news.
245
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,590
- Oh my god.
246
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,505
Are you not infertile anymore?
247
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,202
- No, I still am.
- Ugh.
248
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:27,942
- My gardener--
249
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,813
- Josh?
250
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,075
- No, the other one--
the inside gardener.
251
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,033
- Your cleaning lady?
252
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:32,903
- Yes.
253
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,905
- Oh.
254
00:08:34,991 --> 00:08:38,082
- OK, so her niece is
becoming-- drumroll--
255
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,128
her nephew!
256
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,043
He's trans.
257
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:45,568
Which basically means I have
a really close trans friend.
258
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:46,917
[ominous music]
259
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,224
- Wow.
260
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:53,533
It's-- this is so great.
261
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:54,795
So woked.
262
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,579
- He's actually
coming over tonight
263
00:08:56,665 --> 00:08:58,973
to give a TED Talk to my
kids about the importance
264
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,017
of acceptance.
265
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,018
- Oh, god.
Yeah.
266
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,063
That's--
267
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:02,933
- Oh, are you OK?
268
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,282
- Uh-huh.
269
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:05,588
Yeah, I just--
270
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,198
- I mean,
I'm sure you also have
271
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,722
a really close trans friend.
272
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,027
I-- I don't need to brag.
- Oh my god.
273
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,899
Yeah. Me?
274
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:12,900
Trans friends?
275
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,684
Yes.
276
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,207
Brag away, because of course
I have trans friends.
277
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,861
I can't believe
I haven't introduced you.
278
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:21,952
Did I not introduce you
to the th-th-th-th-th...
279
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,128
- Do you mean, they-them?
280
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,043
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
281
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:31,571
[laughs] Um, they're, um--
the protons they use are they,
282
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:36,184
them, her, it's,
that's, and those.
283
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:37,751
Hers is so brave.
284
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:39,665
- Oh, she's so brave.
- Yeah.
285
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,233
- Yeah, you would love them.
286
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,932
- You should bring "therm" over
tonight for drinks
287
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,194
or whatever that does.
288
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,804
- Yeah, good.
289
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,284
- Mm-hmm.
290
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:55,769
- [panting]
291
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,422
Trans.
292
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:58,815
Trans.
293
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,730
Trans?
294
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:01,992
Trans?
Trans?
295
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,341
Trans?
296
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,734
Oh, god.
Trans.
297
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:05,779
Trans?
Trans?
298
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:06,954
Trans?
- Black!
299
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,216
- Trans!
- Black!
300
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,000
- Trans!
- Black!
301
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,219
- Trans!
Trans.
302
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,003
- Black.
- Trans?
303
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,526
- Black?
- Trans?
304
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,527
Trans.
- Black?
305
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,007
- Trans.
Trans.
306
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:18,487
- Black.
- Trans!
307
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:19,488
Trans?
- Black!
308
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:20,968
- Trans!
- Black!
309
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:24,754
- Shit!
310
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:31,413
[sobbing]
311
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,936
- Hey.
312
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,415
Are you OK?
313
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,200
- Will you be my friend?
314
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,419
- Sure.
315
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,508
- [laughs]
Yes. Yes.
316
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,509
OK, great.
317
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,990
OK. OK.
318
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:45,993
[upbeat music]
319
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:52,652
♪ ♪
320
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,794
Hey, Trans?
321
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,840
- Anne.
- Tranne?
322
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,668
- No. Anne. Anne.
323
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,887
- Trans Anne.
324
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,715
Feel like going to
a party with me tonight?
325
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,151
There'll be another you there.
326
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,154
And I really want my friends
to see me with you.
327
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,809
- [scoffs] You know,
I'm not a fashion accessory.
328
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,289
OK?
329
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,421
You know what?
Um, I'll see you later, psycho.
330
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,422
- Oh.
- All right?
331
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,815
- Wait, wait, wait.
332
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:26,903
Trans Anne.
333
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,035
Listen.
334
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,036
Can I say something?
335
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,515
OK.
336
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,039
I'm afraid of trans people.
337
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,954
Not, like, as people.
338
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,130
Just, I'm afraid that I'll
say the wrong pronoun or verb,
339
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:39,307
and-- and-- and then
I'll look stupid, and--
340
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,351
and I'll be embarrassed.
341
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:41,918
- Wow.
342
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,485
That must be really,
really hard on you.
343
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,660
- Thank you.
344
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:45,443
Yeah.
345
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,228
So would you mind just--
346
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,272
going back?
347
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,621
- Go back where?
348
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,885
- To before you
were trans, silly.
349
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:55,758
- So you would rather I not
live my life authentically,
350
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:58,805
in my true identity that
I know I am with every fiber
351
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:01,721
of my being,
just so you cannot be
352
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,723
embarrassed for two seconds?
353
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,898
- Yes.
354
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:05,942
Thank you.
355
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:06,943
- OK, you know what?
356
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,120
Um, I'm going to go.
357
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,079
Um.
358
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,778
You're a monster, and,
uh, I'll pray for you.
359
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,128
- I'll just bring
a Black friend.
360
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,956
[chuckle]
Black?
361
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,306
[light piano music]
362
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,308
Black friend?
363
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,441
- What I love
about this scene is,
364
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:29,139
it really shows
the microprejudices
365
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,793
that trans people face.
366
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,839
It isn't just
the outright hate
367
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:36,407
but these little patronizing
things that we see.
368
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:39,976
- What I love about this is
that it shows how important
369
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,979
it is that I have
a trans friend.
370
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:46,417
[dramatic music]
371
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,033
- You really think we can
get 500 grand for this place?
372
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,122
- The neighbor's
just sold for 480,
373
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,340
and our place is so much nicer.
374
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:57,385
[doorbell rings]
375
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:58,908
Oh, shit.
376
00:12:58,995 --> 00:12:59,866
That's the real estate agent.
377
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:02,651
Take this.
378
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,393
Spray your face, spray
your neck, spray your arms.
379
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,612
- In that order?
- Just do it, Reggie.
380
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,572
[doorbell rings]
381
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:11,878
Hi!
- Hi.
382
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,009
- Welcome.
383
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,489
Thank you for coming.
384
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:15,490
Come on in.
385
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:16,752
- Thank you.
386
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,406
Oh, wow. Oh.
- Thank you for coming.
387
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:19,407
- I'm Amina.
388
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,061
- I'm sorry?
- Bridget.
389
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,193
- Right.
That makes more sense.
390
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,325
I'm sorry, I didn't get yours.
391
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,369
- Michaela.
392
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,328
- Ah, perfect.
393
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,592
You have an absolutely
beautiful white home.
394
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:34,161
I'll bet you I can get
you at least 600 for it.
395
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:37,120
Ow.
This is so sweet.
396
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:40,341
I'm such a fan of lesbians.
397
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,432
Ah, all right.
We'll get this on the market,
398
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:47,435
and we'll probably have a
best and whitest by tomorrow--
399
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,872
huh, that's an interesting
birthmark.
400
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:55,008
- Oh, um, I was a child
of divorce, and there was a--
401
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,487
- Thank you so much for coming.
402
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,011
We really appreciate
your time, and we
403
00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:58,707
will wait for your call.
- Oh.
404
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,100
- Thank you. Thank you, bye.
405
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,405
We look forward
to hearing from you.
406
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,798
- Top of the day.
- Bye-bye.
407
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:03,712
Whew.
That was close.
408
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,192
You must have missed a spot.
409
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,629
- Privlage is the shit.
410
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,893
[laughs] I'm going to go
interview to be an NFL coach.
411
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:14,027
- Privlage,
made from white women's tears.
412
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:17,813
[dramatic music]
413
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,510
[militaristic music]
414
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,251
- We landed the Atlantis
orbiter in Cape Canaveral
415
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:24,515
today at 0700 hours GMT.
416
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,301
The crew and I are glad
to be back on terra firma.
417
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:30,130
And we thank you all
for the warm welcome.
418
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,609
Now, we have some time
for questions.
419
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,698
[indistinct chatter]
420
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,962
- Flight Director
Duke Howard, can you
421
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,225
describe the minutes
that led to the failure
422
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,790
of the heat shield?
423
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,664
- First Officer
Mike Cassell and myself
424
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:46,276
noticed our re-entry system
was reporting abnormalities.
425
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,887
At that point,
we knew we'd have to do
426
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,497
an EVA to repair the shield.
427
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,673
- First Officer Cassell,
how did
428
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,676
you keep your calm when you had
to breach the pressure lock?
429
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,896
- Well,
this is what you train for.
430
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,636
And I knew we had
an incredible support team
431
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,247
on the ground in Houston.
432
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,423
- This question is for Amy.
433
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,685
- Oh.
434
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,079
Yeah,
I'm Systems Engineer Amy Lane.
435
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,386
- Amy, how do you balance
such a rigorous and stressful
436
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:10,997
career with motherhood?
437
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,868
- Oh, I don't have children.
438
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,217
- Oh, jeez, my mistake.
439
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,349
In that case,
how do you balance
440
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,264
such a rigorous
and stressful career
441
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:20,093
with planning to have children
or searching for a partner
442
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,268
to make kids with?
443
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,010
- Uh, I actually
don't want kids.
444
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,011
[all gasp]
445
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:28,449
- What?
446
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,146
- You gay?
447
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,540
- Um,
so no questions pertaining
448
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,151
to how I reconfigured
the solar thrusters?
449
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,327
- Flight Director Howard,
how does
450
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:40,504
it feel to receive the Medal
of Bravery from the president?
451
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:41,941
- Mmm.
452
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,943
It's the honor of my
life to serve my country.
453
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:44,900
- Thank you for your service.
454
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,293
- Yeah.
455
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,773
- And for Ames,
was it painful
456
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,950
when the effects
of zero gravity combusted
457
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,429
your baby-making parts?
458
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,214
- Excuse me?
- Oh.
459
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,650
Earlier, you said
you didn't want children
460
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,913
like a normal woman,
and I was trying
461
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,351
to figure out a reason why, and
I guessed it was gravity or--
462
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,788
I don't know--
a space alien bit off
463
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,573
your vagina uterus tubes?
464
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,749
Whatever.
I'm not a scientist.
465
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,055
I'm just a reporter.
466
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,274
- All right,
this is nobody's business,
467
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,929
but I just don't want kids.
468
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,366
My focus has always
been on my career,
469
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,541
and children aren't
a part of that.
470
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:18,934
OK?
471
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,936
- Oh, like Queen Latifah.
472
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:24,157
- Well, you say that now, but
you'll change your mind when
473
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,810
the right guy comes along.
474
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:27,203
- Pretty sure I won't.
475
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,335
- We're all rooting
for you, girl.
476
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,901
- OK, well, don't.
477
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,165
The life of an astronaut
actually entails a lot more--
478
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:33,688
- Oscar Isaac.
479
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:34,689
- I'm sorry?
480
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,343
- Come on.
481
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,388
Don't tell us you wouldn't
have kids with Oscar Isaac.
482
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,129
- Oh, he'd definitely
be the right guy.
483
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,349
I bet he'd even be willing
to babysit the kids.
484
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,438
- And he was in "Star Wars,"
so he
485
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,135
can talk about space with you.
486
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:47,354
- I don't think it should
be called babysitting
487
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,269
if it's your own children.
488
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:52,533
- Hey, hey, guys, please show
Officer Lane some respect.
489
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,535
She's at the top of
her field,
490
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:57,233
and that can be intimidating
to guys trying to smash.
491
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,844
[together]
Ohh.
492
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,716
- It all makes sense
when you think about it.
493
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:02,673
It's just so sad.
494
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,980
- What?
No. Feel sad?
495
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,242
Why?
My life is great.
496
00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:09,637
All right?
I-- I teach at MIT.
497
00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:11,421
I fly F-16s.
498
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,249
I just went
to fucking space, OK?
499
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,903
The thing beyond the sky?
500
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,425
I have a great life!
I want this!
501
00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:17,297
- Ma'am.
502
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,211
- This is the life I want!
503
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,255
Oh my god!
504
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,734
- We're the space police.
505
00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:22,258
You're in violation
of space law.
506
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,128
You need to go with us.
- Why?
507
00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:24,521
Because I don't want children?
508
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,958
- No, for vehicular
manslaughter.
509
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,570
- Oh, yeah.
510
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:32,486
- This scene started
as two different ideas.
511
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,357
Jeremy pitched
a female astronaut
512
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,446
not being taken
seriously, and Georgie
513
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,579
pitched a woman
that doesn't want kids
514
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:40,015
who's treated like a criminal.
515
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,670
- Amy suggested we
merge the two ideas.
516
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:45,020
So I guess you can say
Jeremy and I are the parents
517
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,457
of this scene, and no one
needs to ask me when I'm
518
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,024
going to have kids anymore.
519
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,852
- I don't care for children.
520
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,811
[dramatic music]
521
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:54,856
- Hi.
522
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,945
I'm activist Amy Schumer.
523
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,729
If you're anything like me,
524
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,862
you're a dedicated liberal
and working mother.
525
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,082
When I started
looking at preschools,
526
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,996
I heard a lot of like-minded
parents wanting to explore
527
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,781
a progressive curriculum.
528
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,262
Many parents wanted to
address critical race theory,
529
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,568
because they heard it was good.
530
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,266
School directors said
it refers
531
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,789
to some advanced theories
532
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:17,183
about systematic racism
and that kind of stuff.
533
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,707
And most developmental experts
think we should teach children
534
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,535
in ways that are consistent
535
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,319
with their intellectual
capacities.
536
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,974
But I say that's a cop-out.
537
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:28,585
No age is too young to face
the brutal unabridged truth
538
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,979
about the white supremacy
we live in.
539
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,677
That's why I founded my own
preschool, Amy's Garden,
540
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:36,941
a critical race theory garden.
541
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:39,944
Our infant room begins
at six days old.
542
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:43,339
Newborns learn where their
hands are and the entirety
543
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,559
of Isabel Wilkerson's "Caste."
544
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,127
At Amy's Garden,
we employ infant sign language
545
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:51,956
to communicate such important
concepts as "more," "milk,"
546
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:55,351
and "Reconstruction and the
rise of the Jim Crow South."
547
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:58,354
In the toddler room, little
ones choose such activities
548
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,008
as playing farmers' market,
549
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,967
learning ABCs,
and a simulation
550
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:06,057
of hiding under a table
in Nazi Germany.
551
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,625
Field trips are arranged
to visit such locations
552
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:12,368
as the Holocaust Museum,
Yad Vashem in Jerusalem,
553
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:16,720
and complex sociological
lectures at the 92nd Street Y.
554
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:20,637
- Open your eyes
to the realities, Gus.
555
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:23,640
- And Amy's Garden
is an amazing community.
556
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,208
You're going to meet
all kinds of parents--
557
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:30,081
people in finance, people in
the arts married to people
558
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,128
in finance, people in finance
married to other people
559
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,565
also in finance,
and a Black couple
560
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:36,784
married to each
other in finance,
561
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:40,918
and obviously, Audra McDonald.
562
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,659
If this sounds like
something for you,
563
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,792
get your application
in ASAP,
564
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:47,273
because with six slots,
it's basically impossible
565
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,797
to get in, unless you're part
of my general social circle,
566
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,364
in which case, it's very easy,
567
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,800
unless I'm mad
at you that week.
568
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:55,672
Amy's Garden-- this country
was meant for everyone.
569
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,544
Let's start living that way.
570
00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,155
Tuition $50,000
per semester per child
571
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:03,027
does not include
blocks or snacks.
572
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,942
This one was tricky,
and we talked about it a lot
573
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,509
in the writers' room.
574
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,424
We didn't want it
to be taken the wrong way.
575
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,469
- Yeah.
Before you go to Twitter,
576
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,210
just know the staff
is uniformly
577
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,255
in favor of social justice.
578
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,388
- But sometimes you need to
make fun of rich white people
579
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,346
who are taking it too far.
580
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:21,220
[dramatic music]
581
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:24,962
And now, another song
by your favorite of mine--
582
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:25,963
Ron Weiner.
583
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,663
[upbeat music]
584
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:33,623
- ♪ Went to a party
on a Saturday night ♪
585
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:37,061
♪ Potluck dinner,
cooked my pasta up right ♪
586
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:41,283
♪ But nobody ate
the stuff I brought ♪
587
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:45,200
♪ Nobody ate
the stuff I brought ♪
588
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,769
♪ Nobody ate the stuff
I brought ♪
589
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:52,294
♪ They just kept walking away ♪
590
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:58,387
♪ And you say,
but did that feel OK? ♪
591
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:01,869
♪ No, it did not ♪
592
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:08,354
♪ 'Cause I did not feel
part of the party ♪
593
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:09,920
♪ ♪
594
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:13,620
♪ So next time you're out
at parties and such ♪
595
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,491
♪ Where people bring food ♪
596
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:18,015
♪ But there's one
they don't touch ♪
597
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:21,280
♪ Know that was made
by someone who tried ♪
598
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:25,588
♪ A real human being
with feelings inside ♪
599
00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:33,030
♪ And think of that
before you pass on by ♪
600
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:37,426
♪ ♪
601
00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:39,733
♪ Think about it ♪
602
00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:46,609
♪ Somebody made that food ♪
603
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:51,397
- You OK?
- Uh-huh. Yeah, why?
604
00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:52,180
- Just--
- Are you OK?
605
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,008
- I'm so good.
- Oh.
606
00:21:54,095 --> 00:21:55,488
- I'm, like,
the best I've ever been.
607
00:21:55,575 --> 00:21:56,837
- No, 'cause you look amazing.
608
00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:58,491
- I--
609
00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:00,014
- But, like, a little tired,
and I'm worried about you.
610
00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:01,320
- Oh my gosh, you know,
it's just 'cause I,
611
00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:02,059
like, lost so much weight.
612
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,583
[laughter]
613
00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,062
- Did we catch his name?
I feel like he's--
614
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:06,368
- No.
- OK.
615
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:07,369
- No.
- Waiter?
616
00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:08,414
- Yeah.
617
00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:09,415
Thank you.
618
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,373
- Waiter?
619
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:13,157
[rhythmic clapping, drumming]
620
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,550
[laughter]
621
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:15,899
- You know I love
a drum circle.
622
00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:16,900
- OK.
623
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:20,948
- [sighs]
624
00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:22,776
[laughter]
625
00:22:22,863 --> 00:22:24,560
- Settle.
626
00:22:24,647 --> 00:22:27,128
[chuckles] Just talking
to the women in the room.
627
00:22:27,215 --> 00:22:28,825
OK.
628
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,827
- The room had some great
notes for this scene,
629
00:22:30,914 --> 00:22:33,439
but hand to god,
I didn't listen to any of 'em.
630
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,380
- It's so easy.
631
00:23:01,430 --> 00:23:05,980
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