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1
00:00:00,664 --> 00:00:02,166
Previously on Young Sheldon...
Arrested?
2
00:00:02,166 --> 00:00:04,980
Well, they're probably
gonna have to pay some fine,
3
00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:07,007
and-and they're gonna need cash.
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,384
What the hell?
5
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,177
What are you doing here?
6
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,554
I'm saving you.
7
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:13,097
Well, damn.
8
00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:14,723
Look, you're just a kid, okay?
9
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,517
You don't understand
what's going on here.
10
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,853
I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church
11
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,771
because you won't
marry my brother.
12
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,856
Where you going?
13
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,190
To dance.
14
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,650
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.
15
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,861
We don't drink, neither. Ooh.
16
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:29,113
The kids asleep?
Yup.
17
00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,740
You want to... fool around?
18
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,659
Are you messing with me?
19
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,286
I'm hoping to.
20
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,371
Well, hot diggity dog.
21
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:42,251
Hey.
22
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,878
Oh, thanks for coming.
23
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,880
Sounded important.
What's going on?
24
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,716
Walk with me. Okay.
25
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,718
You know that money I owe you?
26
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,720
Oh, you got it?
27
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,763
Yes and no.
28
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,599
Uh, well, which is it?
29
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,309
Yes, I got it,
30
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,227
no, I'm not giving it to you.
31
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,605
I want to give you
32
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:05,107
a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
33
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,610
Well, I'd prefer my money.
34
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:10,696
Do you see
any unoccupied machines here?
35
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,115
No.
Exactly.
36
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:16,327
We are at capacity.
It's time to expand.
37
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,078
Where?
38
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,040
The video store
right behind that wall
39
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,500
just lost its lease.
40
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,003
Aw, heck. I was gonna
pick up the new John Candy.
41
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:29,381
Well, as my partner
in this enterprise,
42
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,384
you can get that new
John Candy for free.
43
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,762
So you're gonna
buy a video store?
44
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,931
Video store in the front,
45
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,434
video poker in the back.
46
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,102
Where are you getting
the poker machine?
47
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,314
Biloxi, Mississippi.
Oh. You didn't
learn a lesson
48
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,483
when you got arrested
at the border?
Yes.
49
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,193
I learned not
to smuggle contraband
50
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,111
with my idiot grandson.
51
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,990
But there's nothing illegal
about buying poker machines.
52
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,200
Till you plug 'em in.
53
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,202
Well, sure.
54
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,871
Come on. What do you say?
55
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:04,833
You and me, a panel truck,
Biloxi or bust?
56
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,504
So I'm gonna be your partner
in an illegal gambling room?
57
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,547
Hidden by a legal
video store.
58
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,884
Connie. Gee...
Come on. You said
you want to drive around
59
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,678
in an RV, see the country.
60
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,846
This is that, but exciting.
61
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,223
We could go to jail.
62
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:22,142
That's the exciting part.
63
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,062
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
64
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,690
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
65
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,150
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,237
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
67
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:37,116
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
68
00:02:41,253 --> 00:02:41,829
Hello, Mom.
69
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,913
It's your son, Sheldon.
70
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,597
Hello, my son, Sheldon.
71
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:45,374
I have an 8:00 a.m.
72
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,167
class tomorrow,
and I was wondering
73
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,794
if I could spend the night
in my dorm.
That's fine.
74
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,504
Now before you answer,
hear me out.
75
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,506
I have a list of reasons
why this is a good idea.
76
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,649
Number one... Sheldon,
77
00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:55,573
I know that you're safe there.
It's fine.
78
00:02:55,573 --> 00:02:57,632
That's reason number four.
Please don't skip ahead.
79
00:02:57,632 --> 00:02:58,576
Honey,
80
00:02:58,576 --> 00:03:01,788
I trust you. Just go to bed
at a reasonable hour
81
00:03:01,788 --> 00:03:03,289
and call if you need anything.
82
00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:04,707
Otherwise,
I'll see you tomorrow.
83
00:03:04,707 --> 00:03:06,209
Okay. Number one: I'm not...
84
00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:08,002
Goodbye, Sheldon.
85
00:03:09,545 --> 00:03:11,172
Who hangs up on a list?
86
00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:12,757
What's his problem now?
87
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,176
Nothing. He wants to spend
the night at the dorm
88
00:03:15,176 --> 00:03:17,220
so he can get
to an early class.
89
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,597
Really? And you said okay?
90
00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:21,307
He is old enough
91
00:03:21,307 --> 00:03:24,727
to have an
overnighter, and...
92
00:03:24,727 --> 00:03:27,522
it might be nice for us
to have a little alone time.
93
00:03:27,522 --> 00:03:29,357
Ooh. What about Missy?
94
00:03:29,357 --> 00:03:30,817
She's having dinner
with a friend.
95
00:03:30,817 --> 00:03:33,444
So, the house to ourselves.
96
00:03:33,444 --> 00:03:34,654
I like it.
97
00:03:34,654 --> 00:03:36,948
Hold on.
98
00:03:36,948 --> 00:03:38,741
Hello?
Number two--
99
00:03:38,741 --> 00:03:40,493
I have my own bathroom. Number...
100
00:03:40,493 --> 00:03:43,037
Boy, that's a lot
of plates.
101
00:03:43,037 --> 00:03:45,206
What do you want, Georgie?
I just talked to Meemaw.
102
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:47,083
She says she's gonna be out
of town for a couple days.
103
00:03:47,083 --> 00:03:48,417
Yup, she told me.
104
00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:50,837
Patty melt.
Good choice.
105
00:03:50,837 --> 00:03:52,505
Okay. Enjoy.
106
00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:54,841
I'm just worried about you
being all by yourself
107
00:03:54,841 --> 00:03:56,175
in that big house.
I'll be fine.
108
00:03:56,175 --> 00:03:58,052
What if there's a tornado?
109
00:03:58,052 --> 00:03:59,887
Did Meemaw ever show you
where her hidey hole is?
110
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:02,348
Georgie, I'm really busy
right now. Sorry.
111
00:04:02,348 --> 00:04:04,851
I'll swing by Meemaw's later,
maybe bring some takeout.
112
00:04:04,851 --> 00:04:07,019
Don't bother. They send me home
with plenty of food.
113
00:04:07,019 --> 00:04:09,021
Great. Score me
a patty melt, would you?
114
00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,399
I won't.
I'm gonna go now.
115
00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:14,694
What are you doing?
Kissing our baby.
116
00:04:14,694 --> 00:04:16,279
You want one, too?
117
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:17,280
No.
118
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:20,032
Bye-bye.
119
00:04:20,032 --> 00:04:22,076
I'm home.
120
00:04:24,579 --> 00:04:26,706
Anybody here?
121
00:04:26,706 --> 00:04:29,083
Missy?
Yeah.
122
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:30,918
You're home early.
123
00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:32,753
It's 7:00.
124
00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,714
Is it?
125
00:04:34,714 --> 00:04:36,716
Are you sleeping?
126
00:04:36,716 --> 00:04:38,092
Yeah.
127
00:04:38,092 --> 00:04:39,594
Where's Dad?
128
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,263
I'm here.
129
00:04:42,263 --> 00:04:43,431
Ugh.
130
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,652
We were both just real tired.
131
00:04:46,739 --> 00:04:49,200
Please stop talking.
132
00:04:57,374 --> 00:04:59,585
What on earth is going on?
133
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,923
Aah!
No skateboarding in the hallway.
134
00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:05,591
Aah!
135
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:09,303
This childishness cannot
be allowed to continue.
136
00:05:10,221 --> 00:05:12,097
Hello. I need to tattle.
137
00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:15,851
What?
138
00:05:15,851 --> 00:05:17,811
Is your room on fire?
139
00:05:17,811 --> 00:05:19,688
No.
140
00:05:19,688 --> 00:05:20,940
But I see smoke.
141
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,733
Okay.
142
00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:24,777
You need to know
there's people skateboarding
143
00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:26,403
and playing loud music
in the hallways.
144
00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:29,031
What do you want me
to do about it?
145
00:05:29,031 --> 00:05:30,407
You're the resident advisor.
146
00:05:30,407 --> 00:05:31,742
It's your job
to enforce the rules.
147
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:34,119
I'll get right on it.
148
00:05:34,119 --> 00:05:35,788
Thank you.
149
00:05:35,788 --> 00:05:40,459
The system works.
150
00:05:45,089 --> 00:05:46,674
Ugh.
151
00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:50,052
Oh, I'm gonna be
so cranky tomorrow.
152
00:05:54,598 --> 00:05:56,809
So, how'd you hear
about these poker machines?
153
00:05:56,809 --> 00:05:58,102
I know a guy.
154
00:05:58,102 --> 00:05:59,603
What kind of guy?
155
00:05:59,603 --> 00:06:01,981
A guy who knows a guy.
156
00:06:01,981 --> 00:06:04,275
Well, what do you know
about that guy?
157
00:06:04,275 --> 00:06:06,318
He owned a riverboat casino.
158
00:06:06,318 --> 00:06:07,861
He owned?
159
00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:09,321
He might be dead.
160
00:06:09,321 --> 00:06:10,656
Dead?
161
00:06:10,656 --> 00:06:11,991
He might not be.
162
00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:13,534
They never found the body.
163
00:06:13,534 --> 00:06:15,119
Oh, my God.
164
00:06:15,119 --> 00:06:16,829
Exciting, huh?
No.
165
00:06:16,829 --> 00:06:19,248
It's upsetting.
Oh, now, come on.
166
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:21,709
You've been in the sporting
goods business long enough.
167
00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,752
Haven't you ever sold
a bunch of shoulder pads
168
00:06:23,752 --> 00:06:25,129
that fell off
the back of a truck?
169
00:06:25,129 --> 00:06:26,714
Absolutely not.
170
00:06:26,714 --> 00:06:29,300
I buy 'em from a reputable
company named Tuffy.
171
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,010
Boring.
172
00:06:40,102 --> 00:06:42,104
I smell your shampoo.
173
00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:43,522
Aw, damn it.
174
00:06:43,522 --> 00:06:45,899
How long have you been
sitting out there?
175
00:06:45,899 --> 00:06:47,901
All night.
And why?
176
00:06:49,737 --> 00:06:51,655
Are you familiar with Arkham
Asylum from the Batman comics?
177
00:06:51,655 --> 00:06:53,073
No.
Well, it's a madhouse,
178
00:06:53,073 --> 00:06:55,117
as is my dormitory
after the sun goes down.
179
00:06:55,117 --> 00:06:57,161
Sheldon, I am the president
of this university.
180
00:06:57,161 --> 00:06:58,954
I don't handle noise complaints.
181
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:01,040
That's why
there's a resident advisor.
182
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,500
Oh, I went to him.
And?
183
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,835
You saw me sleeping
on the bench like a hobo.
184
00:07:04,835 --> 00:07:06,337
What do you think?
Can't you just--
185
00:07:06,337 --> 00:07:08,297
I don't know-- chalk this up as
186
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,923
part of the college experience?
187
00:07:09,923 --> 00:07:11,925
Yeah, the clown college experience.
188
00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:13,594
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.
189
00:07:13,594 --> 00:07:15,596
I've compiled a
list of reasons
190
00:07:15,596 --> 00:07:17,835
why I should be appointed
the dormitory R.A.
191
00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,121
Number one...
Fine. You're the R.A.
192
00:07:21,686 --> 00:07:23,147
Okay. "Number one:
I love rules--
193
00:07:23,265 --> 00:07:24,808
"creating them,
following them,
194
00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:26,434
and most fun of all,
enforcing them."
195
00:07:26,434 --> 00:07:27,769
You're the R.A., Sheldon.
196
00:07:27,769 --> 00:07:29,604
Excellent.
"Number two-- punishment
197
00:07:29,604 --> 00:07:31,898
for rule infractions must be
both fair and merciless."
198
00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:41,449
Hmm.
Ooh. Eggs and pancakes.
199
00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:45,245
That's what a lumberjack gets
for chopping all that wood.
200
00:07:45,245 --> 00:07:46,913
I'll be Paul Bunyan,
201
00:07:46,913 --> 00:07:49,749
you can be my babe,
the blue fox.
202
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:52,002
George.
203
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:54,129
Ugh. Still?
204
00:07:54,129 --> 00:07:55,380
Morning, honey.
205
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:56,923
What is happening
with you two?
206
00:07:56,923 --> 00:07:58,300
What do you mean?
207
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,634
Is one of you dying?
208
00:07:59,634 --> 00:08:01,469
No one's dying.
209
00:08:01,469 --> 00:08:03,430
Sometimes, married people kiss.
210
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:05,640
On TV maybe, not here.
211
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,477
Well, young lady, how do you
think you came into this world?
212
00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:12,564
Okay, you're freaking me out.
213
00:08:14,941 --> 00:08:19,487
Here you go,
as advertised.
214
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:25,160
All right.
Those look good.
215
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,746
Wait. Hold on.
How do we know they work?
216
00:08:27,746 --> 00:08:30,624
What kind of operation
you think I'm running here?
217
00:08:30,624 --> 00:08:33,835
Well, I don't know. The word
"sketchy" comes to mind.
218
00:08:33,835 --> 00:08:35,211
Be cool.
219
00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:38,006
Uh, you mind
if we plug a couple in?
220
00:08:38,006 --> 00:08:39,799
Mind if you show me the money?
221
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,177
Sure. Turn around.
222
00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:43,136
Why?
223
00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:45,347
You want the money or not?
224
00:08:46,431 --> 00:08:48,058
Okay, go ahead.
225
00:08:48,058 --> 00:08:50,101
Yeah.
226
00:09:00,236 --> 00:09:01,488
Okay.
227
00:09:01,488 --> 00:09:03,657
20 grand.
228
00:09:03,657 --> 00:09:05,533
Light 'em up.
229
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:18,171
That's the sexiest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
230
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:20,173
Really?
231
00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:22,342
Well, I just took my pants off.
232
00:09:22,342 --> 00:09:24,511
Attention, residents
of Bower Hall.
233
00:09:24,511 --> 00:09:27,263
My name is Sheldon Cooper,
and I'm your new R.A.
234
00:09:27,263 --> 00:09:29,391
The age of chaos is over.
235
00:09:29,391 --> 00:09:30,725
I repeat, the age
of chaos is over.
236
00:09:30,725 --> 00:09:32,268
Please take a moment
237
00:09:32,268 --> 00:09:33,895
to familiarize yourself
with the dormitory rules
238
00:09:33,895 --> 00:09:35,855
posted on the bulletin board.
239
00:09:35,855 --> 00:09:39,401
Ignorance of these rules is no
excuse, and violators will be...
240
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:47,075
New rule. Unauthorized use
of my bullhorn is forbidden.
241
00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:50,328
I repeat. Unauthorized...
Shut up.
242
00:09:52,163 --> 00:09:53,790
Anybody home?
243
00:09:53,790 --> 00:09:56,501
Oh, good. You're here.
244
00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:58,002
Hey.
245
00:09:58,002 --> 00:10:00,213
Check it out. I got this video
about childbirth.
246
00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:01,715
I thought
we could watch it tonight.
247
00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:03,216
That sounds awful.
248
00:10:03,216 --> 00:10:05,635
Well, it does say
"contains graphic images"
249
00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:07,303
right there on the box.
250
00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:09,264
Maybe some other time, Georgie.
251
00:10:09,264 --> 00:10:11,766
No worries. I also picked up
Look Who's Talking,
252
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:14,310
which is just about a baby
who says stuff.
253
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:16,229
If you're trying to make this,
like, a date night
254
00:10:16,229 --> 00:10:17,897
or something,
it's not happening.
255
00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:19,858
Oh, who said anything
about a date?
256
00:10:19,858 --> 00:10:22,485
It's just us having dinner
and watching a movie.
257
00:10:22,485 --> 00:10:24,738
Last time we did that
I wound up pregnant.
258
00:10:24,738 --> 00:10:27,073
Mm, that was a good date.
259
00:10:27,073 --> 00:10:29,325
Well, that's not
happening tonight.
260
00:10:29,325 --> 00:10:30,952
I get it. Nothing romantic.
261
00:10:30,952 --> 00:10:33,163
Just two future parents watching
the miracle of childbirth
262
00:10:33,163 --> 00:10:36,624
or a movie that got two
thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.
263
00:10:36,624 --> 00:10:38,460
And not only that.
264
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,128
Then someone
defaced my rule sheet
265
00:10:40,128 --> 00:10:41,755
with a drawing of testicles.
266
00:10:43,131 --> 00:10:45,175
Well, that is so immature.
267
00:10:45,175 --> 00:10:47,761
I agree. Simply naming me
dorm R.A. isn't enough
268
00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:49,262
to command respect.
269
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:51,097
I need a physical symbol
of my authority,
270
00:10:51,097 --> 00:10:52,599
like the way a king
had a scepter.
271
00:10:52,599 --> 00:10:54,434
So, you want a scepter?
272
00:10:54,434 --> 00:10:56,436
No, that could be used
against me.
273
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:57,979
Ooh, how about a badge?
274
00:10:57,979 --> 00:10:59,397
I'd be like a Texas Ranger
275
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,107
who patrols the halls
of a dormitory.
276
00:11:01,107 --> 00:11:03,777
Well, these all just
such terrific ideas but,
277
00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:06,738
um, how about an official letter
from my desk
278
00:11:06,738 --> 00:11:10,200
with a handwritten note
attesting to your position?
279
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:14,537
All right.
"To the students of Bower Hall."
280
00:11:14,537 --> 00:11:16,206
That's your handwriting?
281
00:11:17,123 --> 00:11:18,792
"This document
282
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:23,505
"bestows on Sheldon Cooper
all the powers
283
00:11:23,505 --> 00:11:25,590
and privileges
of resident advisor."
284
00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:27,217
"Bestows." I like it.
285
00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:32,347
Sloppy, but I like it.
286
00:11:32,347 --> 00:11:34,349
♪ I can see a new horizon ♪
287
00:11:34,349 --> 00:11:35,975
♪ Realize ♪
288
00:11:35,975 --> 00:11:37,685
♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪
289
00:11:37,685 --> 00:11:40,814
♪ You're the biggest part
of me... ♪
290
00:11:40,814 --> 00:11:42,232
Nope.
291
00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:43,650
♪ Need your lovin'
here beside... ♪
292
00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:46,694
Well, I got to tell you,
293
00:11:46,694 --> 00:11:49,322
that was pretty exciting.
Mm. I told you.
294
00:11:49,322 --> 00:11:51,407
For a while there,
I felt like Bonnie and Clyde,
295
00:11:51,407 --> 00:11:53,409
without all the murder
and mayhem.
296
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:55,703
Well, the night's still young.
297
00:11:57,622 --> 00:12:01,167
So at the risk of sounding
more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh,
298
00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:03,545
where do we stand
in our relationship?
299
00:12:03,545 --> 00:12:06,172
You're the one
who broke up with me.
300
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:09,551
Oh, maybe
I've rethought the situation.
301
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:11,219
So you were wrong.
302
00:12:11,219 --> 00:12:15,181
I don't believe
there's any right or wrong here.
303
00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:18,226
Say it. Say you were wrong.
304
00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:20,854
I do regret it.
305
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:23,648
Because... you were...
306
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:25,275
wrong.
307
00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:27,610
Yes.
308
00:12:28,987 --> 00:12:31,322
So what do you say-- you want
to give it another chance?
309
00:12:31,322 --> 00:12:32,407
Hang on.
310
00:12:32,407 --> 00:12:33,950
Just give me a straight answer.
311
00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:35,910
I'm a big boy.
I can take it.
312
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,579
I think we're being followed.
313
00:12:37,579 --> 00:12:39,080
What?
314
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,707
No.
315
00:12:40,707 --> 00:12:42,458
The pickup truck?
316
00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:43,751
The orange Pinto.
317
00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:45,628
I saw it when
we gassed up.
318
00:12:45,628 --> 00:12:47,213
It's been two cars back
ever since.
319
00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:49,716
I'm gonna speed up
and see what happens.
320
00:12:51,718 --> 00:12:53,219
We're being followed.
321
00:12:53,219 --> 00:12:54,596
Are you still excited?
322
00:12:54,596 --> 00:12:56,055
No, I'm upset.
323
00:12:56,055 --> 00:12:57,098
Good.
324
00:12:57,098 --> 00:12:58,683
Then we're on the same page.
325
00:13:06,774 --> 00:13:08,860
Open up. It's the R.A.
326
00:13:09,944 --> 00:13:11,529
Yeah?
327
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,615
It's quiet hours.
You have to turn the music off.
328
00:13:13,615 --> 00:13:15,450
Says who?
Me, the R.A.
329
00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:17,160
You probably didn't hear me
over the music.
330
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:21,748
Maybe this will convince you.
331
00:13:21,748 --> 00:13:23,082
Her cursive is
maybe questionable,
332
00:13:23,082 --> 00:13:24,876
but trust me,
my authority is not.
333
00:13:27,962 --> 00:13:30,465
♪ I know, yeah... ♪
334
00:13:30,465 --> 00:13:32,532
Joke's on you.
I have Scotch tape.
335
00:13:35,422 --> 00:13:37,180
I don't see him anywhere.
Do you?
336
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:39,557
Nope.
Oh, man.
337
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:41,768
Well, now that
that's over, I'm starting
338
00:13:41,768 --> 00:13:43,645
to feel the excitement again.
339
00:13:43,645 --> 00:13:45,772
Crazy, right? I think
that's the way danger works.
340
00:13:45,772 --> 00:13:48,483
Oh, it's like a rollercoaster.
341
00:13:48,483 --> 00:13:50,109
Well,
342
00:13:50,109 --> 00:13:53,029
ain't this a coincidence.
343
00:13:53,029 --> 00:13:54,656
Oh, come on.
344
00:13:57,742 --> 00:13:59,661
What's up?
Mom and Dad are being weird.
345
00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:00,954
Can I hang out here?
346
00:14:00,954 --> 00:14:02,497
Actually, ain't a good time.
347
00:14:02,497 --> 00:14:03,748
Come on in, Missy.
348
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:07,001
Dang it.
349
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:08,670
Sucker.
350
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:09,671
Good.
351
00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,089
Ooh, Look Who's Talking.
352
00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:13,341
Classic.
Hey, did you know
353
00:14:13,341 --> 00:14:15,176
the baby is the guy
from Die Hard?
354
00:14:15,176 --> 00:14:17,553
No.
Yeah.
355
00:14:17,553 --> 00:14:18,888
He can do everything.
356
00:14:18,888 --> 00:14:19,973
I was sitting there.
357
00:14:19,973 --> 00:14:21,474
Yeah, well, now you're not.
358
00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:22,976
I'm being nothing but nice here.
359
00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:24,185
I don't know why
you got to give me a hard time.
360
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:26,688
Why? I'll tell you why.
361
00:14:26,688 --> 00:14:29,357
You ruined my life.
Is that enough "why" for you?
362
00:14:29,357 --> 00:14:30,942
Hey, you weren't so innocent.
363
00:14:30,942 --> 00:14:33,194
If I recall, you provided
alcohol to a minor-- me.
364
00:14:33,194 --> 00:14:34,570
That's illegal.
365
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:37,115
You lied about your age.
You lied first.
366
00:14:37,115 --> 00:14:39,325
Okay, you know what? Let's not
do this in front of your sister.
367
00:14:39,325 --> 00:14:41,703
It actually feels normal.
Keep going.
368
00:14:41,703 --> 00:14:44,580
And let's not forget, I only
lied 'cause you're hot.
369
00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:46,499
Oh, my God.
We don't need
370
00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,042
to watch a movie
about a talking baby.
371
00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,460
You're right here.
372
00:14:51,212 --> 00:14:52,463
Ooh, lock the door,
lock the door.
373
00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:54,966
No one's home.
Just in case.
374
00:14:58,553 --> 00:15:00,555
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
375
00:15:00,555 --> 00:15:04,183
I have a wild and crazy idea. Ooh,
376
00:15:04,183 --> 00:15:05,810
I like where this is headed.
377
00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:08,813
Let's make a baby.
378
00:15:08,813 --> 00:15:11,441
You're kidding, right?
379
00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:15,695
I don't know. It might
be fun to start over.
380
00:15:15,695 --> 00:15:18,031
Fun?
What house you been living in?
381
00:15:18,031 --> 00:15:22,118
I'm serious. We've been
getting along so great,
382
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:25,204
and I have all this
extra time on my hands.
383
00:15:25,204 --> 00:15:27,165
Uh, let's take advantage.
384
00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:29,751
Your son's about to have a baby.
You can take care of that one.
385
00:15:29,751 --> 00:15:31,252
No, my mother called dibs.
386
00:15:31,252 --> 00:15:33,254
Your mother's
a million years old.
387
00:15:33,254 --> 00:15:34,589
You think she's gonna be
changing diapers
388
00:15:34,589 --> 00:15:36,758
in the middle of the night?
389
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:38,051
I'll tell you
what your problem is.
390
00:15:38,051 --> 00:15:39,510
you got kicked out
of your church,
391
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,345
your-your kids are grown up,
392
00:15:41,345 --> 00:15:43,389
you're feeling sorry
for yourself, and,
393
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:45,641
yeah, you think
a baby'll solve the problem.
394
00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:49,896
Well? Say something.
395
00:15:49,896 --> 00:15:52,648
You make me so mad.
396
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,069
Where you going?
397
00:15:56,069 --> 00:15:58,237
We can still do it mad.
398
00:15:58,237 --> 00:16:01,657
So what do you
want, uh...
399
00:16:03,117 --> 00:16:05,078
Dennis.
Right.
400
00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,914
Dennis. Tough name.
401
00:16:07,914 --> 00:16:11,084
So what do you want... Dennis?
402
00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:15,296
Couldn't help noticing you got
Texas plates on that truck.
403
00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:19,425
Operating poker machines
ain't legal in Texas.
404
00:16:19,425 --> 00:16:21,135
So what are you, a cop?
405
00:16:21,135 --> 00:16:24,847
No, no, I'm just a guy who might
call the cops, you know,
406
00:16:24,847 --> 00:16:27,725
if we don't come
to an arrangement.
407
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,102
Can I take your order?
408
00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:30,019
Thank you, honey.
409
00:16:30,112 --> 00:16:32,605
You know, I got a hankering
for chicken fried steak.
410
00:16:32,605 --> 00:16:36,150
Gravy on top,
but only if it's cream gravy.
411
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:40,613
And the mashed potatoes with
more cream and gravy on top.
412
00:16:40,613 --> 00:16:43,616
And, uh, ice tea
when you can.
413
00:16:43,616 --> 00:16:45,993
No gravy on that.
414
00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:48,121
And how about for you two?
415
00:16:48,121 --> 00:16:51,207
I'm gonna use your restroom.
416
00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:53,626
He knows what I like.
417
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,837
You're leaving?
Uh-huh.
418
00:16:55,837 --> 00:16:58,673
I got to tinkle. Uh.
419
00:16:59,674 --> 00:17:01,676
Uh,
420
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:05,138
I guess I'll have the waffles,
421
00:17:05,138 --> 00:17:08,141
and the lady will have, um...
422
00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:12,854
...also waffles.
423
00:17:13,855 --> 00:17:16,732
So, what do you think?
424
00:17:16,732 --> 00:17:18,401
Well, Dennis, I'm not
the guy to talk to.
425
00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:22,155
Uh, why don't we wait
for the boss to finish tinkling?
426
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:28,327
But I do got to tell you,
this is my first shakedown.
427
00:17:28,327 --> 00:17:30,329
Don't think of it
like that.
428
00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:32,328
It's just a
business arrangement.
429
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,959
Well, I've been a businessman
for 38 years,
430
00:17:34,959 --> 00:17:37,712
and I don't think I've ever
been threatened before.
431
00:17:37,712 --> 00:17:39,755
What kind of business you in?
432
00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:45,845
Hello?
Huh?
433
00:17:45,845 --> 00:17:48,264
What kind of business you in?
434
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,102
Groomer.
Hmm.
435
00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:54,812
Dog groomer, yeah.
436
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:59,775
Cats if you make me, but
I pretty much love the doggies.
437
00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:01,110
You ever do birds?
438
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,863
No. Mm-hmm.
Birds got feathers,
439
00:18:03,863 --> 00:18:06,782
and they're... they're
self-grooming, pretty much.
440
00:18:06,782 --> 00:18:09,410
Yeah, I always thought
cats were self-grooming.
441
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:12,705
Well, people think that,
but, no. No, you got to...
442
00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:15,082
You got to dip a cat
once in a while.
443
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,419
Well, okay then.
444
00:18:18,419 --> 00:18:21,047
Where are you going?
445
00:18:21,047 --> 00:18:23,591
Dennis, I am really sorry
about this.
446
00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:37,396
May I help you?
447
00:18:37,396 --> 00:18:38,564
There's no hot water.
448
00:18:38,564 --> 00:18:40,107
There is for rule followers.
449
00:18:40,107 --> 00:18:41,274
You can't just turn off
the hot water.
450
00:18:41,274 --> 00:18:42,095
Yeah.
Yeah.
451
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:43,638
If you want the benefits
of civilization,
452
00:18:43,638 --> 00:18:45,056
you have to behave
in a civilized manner.
453
00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:46,766
The decision is yours.
454
00:18:48,351 --> 00:18:51,062
I don't need a pen and paper
to take names.
455
00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:53,064
You. What's your name?
456
00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:55,483
You know I'll find out
and there will be consequences.
457
00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:58,569
Hey, what are you...
31719
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