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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,125 --> 00:00:07,525 Hey, haven't seen you guys in month. 2 00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:08,823 Welcome back. 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,160 Yeah, we're having our end of summer town yard sale. 4 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,846 Sales have been quite robust. 5 00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,443 I saw it first. 6 00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:16,818 It's my birdbath! 7 00:00:16,843 --> 00:00:19,834 You know you fighting over a used bidet, right? 8 00:00:19,912 --> 00:00:21,520 'Cause that's a big old badonk. 9 00:00:21,545 --> 00:00:22,665 It's my badonk! 10 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,264 No, it's mine! 11 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,933 Hey, stop playing with the kitchen gadgets! 12 00:00:27,086 --> 00:00:29,361 Anyway, the town is busier than ever. 13 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,421 Thank goodness it's not bigger, though. 14 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,533 I don't think we could handle any more excitement. 15 00:00:34,558 --> 00:00:37,277 Woo-hoo, Flatch! Get ready for Barb. 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,446 Hold on, camera lady. 17 00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:42,428 I'm feeling a celebratory donut coming on. 18 00:00:42,453 --> 00:00:45,576 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 19 00:00:45,601 --> 00:00:47,264 Yeah, Flatch! 20 00:00:47,289 --> 00:00:48,789 So here's what's new... 21 00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,274 I got my wisdom tooth taken out. 22 00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:52,053 I actually feel smarter than before. 23 00:00:52,078 --> 00:00:54,053 Yeah, and... and my gap year from art school 24 00:00:54,129 --> 00:00:57,222 is literally crazy perfect. 25 00:00:57,415 --> 00:01:00,967 For starters, Nan went to Mexico for a medical vacation 26 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,619 to get her hips replaced, 27 00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,212 and she ended up just loving that tequila 28 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:07,170 and her new hip so much that she just decided to stay. 29 00:01:07,195 --> 00:01:08,809 So basically, this house is up for sale, 30 00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:12,887 and no one is calling, probably because the phone number's 31 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,314 like a billion digits long. 32 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:17,134 So I basically get the whole place to myself. 33 00:01:17,152 --> 00:01:19,986 It's my very own crash crib. Calling it the Shrub Hub. 34 00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:21,138 Members only. 35 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:26,453 I'm living the gap year dream. And I'm getting paid for my art. 36 00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:28,645 So literally suck it, school. 37 00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:31,732 Also, been hanging out with Beth, like, a ton. 38 00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:34,933 So do you want a Mickey 39 00:01:34,957 --> 00:01:37,373 two, three, or four? 40 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,840 I mean, yeah, she's technically with Mickey, but... 41 00:01:39,865 --> 00:01:40,939 Four. 42 00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:42,568 ...not for long, let's put it that way. 43 00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:43,601 That's a good one. 44 00:01:43,626 --> 00:01:44,851 But yeah, she's going to fall... 45 00:01:44,876 --> 00:01:48,061 towards me and away from Mickey, so... 46 00:01:48,086 --> 00:01:49,177 Dude! 47 00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:50,942 I found your nan's box of party hats! 48 00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:53,008 Dude, yeah! 49 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:55,258 Gap year on fuego! 50 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,358 Oh! 51 00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:01,276 Well, here I am, back in my old hometown. 52 00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:04,256 Ah, I haven't been here for eons. 53 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,775 I been living in Pompano Beach, Florida, 54 00:02:06,852 --> 00:02:09,036 AKA "the Pomp." Ha. 55 00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:13,615 But recently, some things have changed in Barb's life. 56 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,913 You know, I thought it would be a great opportunity 57 00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:19,529 to have a little adventure. 58 00:02:19,554 --> 00:02:22,585 Oops. Did I do that? Ha! 59 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,927 I was a pretty big deal back in the day... 60 00:02:24,952 --> 00:02:26,528 Flatch royalty and all. 61 00:02:26,948 --> 00:02:29,056 I just hope I don't draw too much attention. 62 00:02:29,189 --> 00:02:30,714 Come on! 63 00:02:30,739 --> 00:02:32,261 So, big news... 64 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,562 Cheryl has been living with me at my house. 65 00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:36,138 It's going really well! 66 00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:38,974 This relaxed, semi-rural life is really growing on me. 67 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,236 You know, I'm trying to be more organic. 68 00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:43,963 I make my own deodorant. Hmm. 69 00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:46,389 And it really works. 70 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:49,562 And Cheryl's been raising chickens. 71 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,845 And they have definitely been keeping her busy. 72 00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:54,064 And I am making my own beer. 73 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,325 I'm not sure why it's green, though. 74 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,699 It's a work in progress. 75 00:02:57,724 --> 00:03:01,910 So yeah, since you guys left, I had a baby. 76 00:03:01,935 --> 00:03:04,126 Psych! No, can you imagine? 77 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,985 That makes me sick to think about. 78 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:07,911 Uh, this is my half-sis, Ashlynn. 79 00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:10,510 My dad's been having me watch her a bunch. 80 00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:13,462 He has his hands full with his girlfriend Jessie. 81 00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:15,085 She's super high maintenance. 82 00:03:15,104 --> 00:03:16,920 She, like, puts limes in her water. 83 00:03:16,939 --> 00:03:19,106 It's like, pick a snack or a drink if you want one. 84 00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:21,166 I'm teaching her the ways of the world, you know? 85 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,593 My dad wasn't really around for me growing up, 86 00:03:23,618 --> 00:03:25,464 so same goes for her. 87 00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:27,413 Falls on me to be her mentor. 88 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:30,290 Kelly is 100% over-identifying with that baby. 89 00:03:30,469 --> 00:03:33,569 Shrub, come on! Push us. 90 00:03:37,794 --> 00:03:39,835 Please don't film me. Seriously. 91 00:03:41,203 --> 00:03:42,923 - Hi. - Oh, my God, Nadine, 92 00:03:42,948 --> 00:03:45,466 you have to get that looked at by a doctor. 93 00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:47,209 Oh! Hah hah! It's a baby, idiot. 94 00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:49,452 Oh, I'm sorry to hear you're having a baby idiot. 95 00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:51,901 Oh! You just got Shrubbed. 96 00:03:51,926 --> 00:03:54,001 Look, I'm here on official Historical Society business, 97 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,267 Shrub. 98 00:03:55,292 --> 00:03:57,703 Oh, who's Shrub? I'm not Shrub. 99 00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:59,555 Oh, my gosh, just let me in... move! 100 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,056 I need the Flatch cane. 101 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,339 Now that your nan has moved, we need to pass it on 102 00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:05,364 to the next oldest person in town. 103 00:04:05,389 --> 00:04:06,872 - A cane parade! - A cane parade! 104 00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:09,490 Yes! Dude, party! 105 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:12,194 The Flatch cane is a tradition we've had for hundreds of years. 106 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,887 The oldest person in town is the keeper of the cane. 107 00:04:14,889 --> 00:04:18,481 And when they move on to eternal rest, or Acapulco, 108 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:22,061 we have a parade to take it to the next oldest person in town. 109 00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:25,731 Now, the cane is going to Old Lady Flatch. 110 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,733 I invited her daughter Barbara 111 00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,343 to come be part of the ceremony. 112 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:30,827 Can you imagine if she comes? 113 00:04:30,847 --> 00:04:34,682 Two Flatches in Flatch. 114 00:04:38,503 --> 00:04:40,038 I have to control my excitement 115 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,856 so I don't go into early labor. 116 00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,715 I do not need a Virgo in my life. 117 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,239 We haven't had a cane parade in forever. 118 00:04:46,264 --> 00:04:47,522 - Yeah. - Everyone dresses up 119 00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:49,706 - their cars. - It's like a whole tailgate. 120 00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:52,032 And guess who gets to lead the whole parade this year? 121 00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,868 Basically the youngest member of the family 122 00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:55,944 passes the cane and has to make a speech. 123 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:57,613 Mickey's done it like four times. 124 00:04:57,689 --> 00:05:00,616 Yeah, well, obviously I'm gonna be way better than Mickey on that. 125 00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:01,783 Totally. 126 00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:04,786 It's actually gonna be perfect, because I'm gonna use the speech 127 00:05:04,939 --> 00:05:09,032 to express my love for Beth in front of literally everyone in town, 128 00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:11,760 and she's going to fall hard for me all over again. 129 00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:17,224 Chickens are so much fun. 130 00:05:17,376 --> 00:05:21,044 I started with three, but it's time to expand my brood. 131 00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,564 So I ordered a bunch of chicks from this place 132 00:05:23,641 --> 00:05:25,548 called chicks2you.com. 133 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:28,977 It's literally baby chicks that come to the post office. 134 00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:33,132 Oh, uh, but don't go to chicks2you.net. 135 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,558 That's something entirely different, very illegal. 136 00:05:35,578 --> 00:05:37,653 Anyway, so, um, yeah, 137 00:05:37,729 --> 00:05:40,822 now Joe has his flock, and I have mine. 138 00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:42,565 Oh, my God, it's a chicken joke. 139 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:43,809 - I didn't even know. - Ha ha ha ha! 140 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,145 Chickens on the mind. 141 00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:47,479 Mmm. 142 00:05:47,924 --> 00:05:50,090 Borrowed my dad's truck for the Cane Train. 143 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:52,876 Course, he's too busy to actually be in the parade. 144 00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:54,595 That's why me and my BFF... 145 00:05:54,672 --> 00:05:57,247 Baby Friend Forever... Are hanging, per "yush." 146 00:05:57,324 --> 00:06:00,417 And I have been working on my killer speech. 147 00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:01,843 What you got so far? 148 00:06:01,938 --> 00:06:03,437 - Not sharing. - You got nothing. 149 00:06:03,514 --> 00:06:05,664 No, that is... no. 150 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:06,832 I have nothing. 151 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,792 Beth's gonna see me crumble. 152 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,819 What rhymes with "cane"? 153 00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:15,016 Nothing. It's insane. 154 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,451 I saw the funniest cat video. 155 00:06:17,528 --> 00:06:19,453 - Check this out. - Okay, so... 156 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:21,622 you want the good news or the bad news? 157 00:06:21,699 --> 00:06:22,939 I guess good. 158 00:06:22,959 --> 00:06:24,491 The town selectmen chose you for a 159 00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:26,293 big, important role in the cane parade. 160 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,963 That's exciting! 161 00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:30,856 Am I in the front, leading my flock? 162 00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:32,132 Negatory. You're the caboose. 163 00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:33,984 You gotta ride in the back and make sure 164 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,469 nothing big gets left in the road. 165 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,454 It's kind of like a booby prize. 166 00:06:37,473 --> 00:06:40,290 So really, none of this is good news. 167 00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:41,934 Nope. 168 00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:51,945 Delivering the cane to Mrs. Flatch is a big responsability. 169 00:06:52,471 --> 00:06:55,823 You want chaos? You let Kelly and Shrub lead the parade. 170 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:59,476 That's why I'm taking over as traffic warden 171 00:06:59,495 --> 00:07:01,887 and unofficial parade marshal. 172 00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:05,148 I got a personal investment in this thing running smoothly. 173 00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:08,227 My meemaw was all set to get the cane, like, 100 years ago, 174 00:07:08,229 --> 00:07:10,579 and then some dude's wheel fell off his horse wagon... 175 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,231 Stopped the parade dead. 176 00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:15,492 And then by the time they got to meemaw, she was dead, too. 177 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,569 Never again! 178 00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:20,139 Not on my watch. 179 00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,675 All right, everyone line up 180 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:36,271 right in front of Father Joe, way back there. 181 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,590 He's the caboose. 182 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,367 I should be leading my congregation, 183 00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,185 not bringing up the rear. 184 00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:46,598 Babe, the caboose is still a very special role. 185 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,375 You're the closer. 186 00:07:48,527 --> 00:07:51,528 It's the booby prize. 187 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,006 I'm the ca-boob. 188 00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:58,845 Anybody have eyes on Shrub or the cane? 189 00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,947 Specifically the cane. I really don't care about Shrub, actually. 190 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:04,725 Anybody seen 'em? Anybody? 191 00:08:04,876 --> 00:08:06,727 Hey, Kel, Kel, come on, let's go. 192 00:08:06,804 --> 00:08:08,729 - We're gonna be late. - I literally can't. 193 00:08:08,806 --> 00:08:10,046 - I still have the baby. - What? 194 00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,399 And my dad was supposed to pick her up, like, an hour ago. 195 00:08:12,476 --> 00:08:13,567 - What? - He's not picking up. 196 00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:14,793 She's out of diapers. 197 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,052 Just leave her on the couch, dude. 198 00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:17,796 There's the... there's that weird stain already there. 199 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,481 - Are you insane? - Dude, you are not 200 00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:20,890 ruining this for me, okay? This is the peak 201 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,634 of my gap year... Bring her with us, or don't. 202 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:23,779 I don't care... let's go! 203 00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:26,655 Let's do this. 204 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,122 Hang on, baby girl. 205 00:08:29,147 --> 00:08:30,721 Whoa! 206 00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:35,798 Puhhh! I'm coming, Beth! 207 00:08:36,245 --> 00:08:39,478 Here we are, my mom's home... Shady Acres. 208 00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,169 God, more like Shoddy Acres. 209 00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:43,655 Look at that janky-ass roof. It's terrible. 210 00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:46,082 Oh, my God! Ah! 211 00:08:46,102 --> 00:08:49,436 How are these not in the handicapped spot? 212 00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:52,062 I mean, this is just... 213 00:08:56,278 --> 00:08:57,778 Oh, hello! 214 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,948 More cameras. 215 00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:02,858 Hi. Um... 216 00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:07,121 I am Barb Flatch Feliciano, 217 00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:09,289 soon to be... 218 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,608 Barb Flatch again. 219 00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:16,296 I'm sure you are probably surprised to see me. 220 00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:19,858 I mean, I bet everybody's probably gonna be surprised to see me. 221 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,952 #LocalCeleb. Ha. 222 00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:25,197 Trying to keep a low profile, though. 223 00:09:25,199 --> 00:09:28,308 Just make sure you, you know, get my good side. 224 00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:29,459 Who am I kidding? 225 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,536 All of Barb's sides are good. 226 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,313 Barbie, is that you? 227 00:09:33,465 --> 00:09:35,540 It is, Mom! Hey! 228 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,484 Oh, my God, are you so excited? 229 00:09:37,636 --> 00:09:39,945 She's excited. 230 00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,051 My wigs? 231 00:09:46,144 --> 00:09:48,403 Oh, they're just a form of self-expression, 232 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,813 you know, like hair theater. 233 00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:53,816 I mean, real estate is all just make believe, too. 234 00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:57,245 You gotta sell people on a dream, right? 235 00:09:57,398 --> 00:10:00,232 Back in Pompano Beach, we were house flipper extraordinaires... 236 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:04,236 Top 22% sellers in the Greater Lauderdale market. 237 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:06,087 See? That's me. 238 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,757 Then Burt flipped me for a girl named Renee 239 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,052 who sells timeshares. 240 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,228 So you drove Burt away, huh? 241 00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:13,762 Let's just concentrate on getting you that cane. 242 00:10:13,838 --> 00:10:15,355 I don't want the cane. 243 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:16,563 It's a curse. 244 00:10:16,588 --> 00:10:18,560 You get the cane, and then you die. 245 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:21,236 I don't want their damn cursed cane. 246 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:28,869 People, we have arrived, okay? 247 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,688 Cane King is here. Do not fret. 248 00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:34,099 - Follow us! - Hey, bro. 249 00:10:34,117 --> 00:10:36,526 - Looking good. - Yeah, I like your cape. 250 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:40,121 Oh, my God, you do? Thank you. Yeah, I made it myself. 251 00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:42,107 It started off as a flag, to be honest. 252 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:44,867 But it looked so good that I just had to wear it. 253 00:10:44,887 --> 00:10:46,461 Hey, are you nervous for your speech? 254 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,613 - No. - That's good. 255 00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:50,183 Because remember in fourth grade when you gave 256 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,301 that book report on "Beezus and Ramona," and you threw up? 257 00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:54,970 No, I... 258 00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:56,788 Really, it was, like, a big deal. 259 00:10:56,807 --> 00:10:58,548 You started crying and got the hiccups. 260 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:01,181 I said I don't remember, dude. I'm not a nerd. 261 00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:02,903 Mickey, move it or lose it. 262 00:11:02,938 --> 00:11:04,887 Well, I am looking forward to your wise words. 263 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,759 And you got the Mickey number three. 264 00:11:06,784 --> 00:11:08,467 He got the Mickey number three! That's a classic. 265 00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:10,893 Hey, we gonna chitchat, or are we gonna hand over a cane? 266 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,062 - Yeah. - Everybody, follow me. 267 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,928 Wait, no, no. I thought... I thought, like, we were in the front. 268 00:11:15,953 --> 00:11:17,828 Uh, do you have the bullhorn? 269 00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:20,045 No, you don't. 270 00:11:22,591 --> 00:11:24,967 - Like... - Move out! 271 00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:26,788 Move out! 272 00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:31,414 Wahoo! 273 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,071 This sucks. 274 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,551 I'm sure our dad didn't mean to forget about you. 275 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,020 But I mean, yeah, kind of his thing. 276 00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:05,448 One time, he left me at a Dairy Queen for, like, an hour on accident. 277 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,450 Joke's on him, though, because everyone felt so bad for me, 278 00:12:07,469 --> 00:12:09,118 they kept buying me Dilly Bars. 279 00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:14,556 Also, he's been super busy trying to make your mom happy. 280 00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:16,643 Like, no offense, but she's a lot. 281 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,461 I give them like a month before they split. 282 00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:21,556 Truthfully, I don't think he can commit to anyone... 283 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:26,061 You, me, my mom, your mom, the dentist. 284 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,904 Hey, Ron. 285 00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:30,837 No, don't worry, okay? 286 00:12:30,862 --> 00:12:35,162 Ashlynn, he left my mom, and look at me. I'm fabulous. 287 00:12:37,526 --> 00:12:40,694 Dude, what the hell? Is that coming from you? 288 00:12:41,337 --> 00:12:44,654 You heard when I said we're out of diapers, right? 289 00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:48,733 Oh, my gosh, the chicks are in? 290 00:12:48,752 --> 00:12:50,700 They weren't supposed to come till tomorrow. 291 00:12:50,725 --> 00:12:52,391 We have to go to the post office. 292 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,906 I have my super important caboose job, babe. 293 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,862 I'm not kidding. It is hot out. 294 00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:59,646 They could die in their cute little box. 295 00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:02,105 We can't roast those chickens, Joe. 296 00:13:03,186 --> 00:13:04,651 - Okay. - Go. 297 00:13:05,769 --> 00:13:07,510 - Hey, hey, hey! - Go! 298 00:13:07,588 --> 00:13:09,571 - Go, go, go... - We're going! 299 00:13:09,606 --> 00:13:11,423 Hey, stay in line! 300 00:13:11,441 --> 00:13:13,808 Cheryl has to get her babies. 301 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,181 Cheryl's having a baby. Let 'em through. 302 00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:20,599 Lady in labor! 303 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:22,525 Sorry. 304 00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:23,710 Don't apologize, it wastes time! 305 00:13:23,787 --> 00:13:25,103 - You're right. I'm sorry. - It wastes time! 306 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,530 I'm sorry. We're coming, babies! 307 00:13:27,549 --> 00:13:29,441 You can make it. 308 00:13:29,459 --> 00:13:31,292 You got this, okay? 309 00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:36,056 Think about happy things, like a puppy riding a Roomba. 310 00:13:36,207 --> 00:13:37,616 You love that video. 311 00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:39,300 Ashlynn's having a meltdown. 312 00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:40,952 She has, like, a pound of crap in her pants. 313 00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:45,060 Dude, well, tell her to suck it up. I don't know what to tell you. 314 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,102 If she sucks up all that poop into her body, she'll die! 315 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,845 - God. Well... - Okay, we're doing a quick 316 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,595 - pit stop at Jessie's house. - No! 317 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,388 - I have to get a fresh diaper. - No! No! 318 00:13:52,408 --> 00:13:54,223 No! Don't turn! 319 00:13:54,243 --> 00:13:55,391 Don't turn, dude! 320 00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:57,485 What are you doing? 321 00:13:57,638 --> 00:13:59,228 I don't know what to do! 322 00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:16,888 Nothing but chaos. 323 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:23,196 Okay, okay, nobody panic. I still have the cane. 324 00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:24,921 Just need to make a pit stop real quick. 325 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,332 Come on, Ashy. Let me get you out. 326 00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,153 Oh, here they come. 327 00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:35,740 That is one hell of a sad parade. 328 00:14:40,271 --> 00:14:41,788 Barbie Flatch? 329 00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:43,014 Little Mandy? 330 00:14:43,107 --> 00:14:45,608 I haven't seen you since I supervised your tent 331 00:14:45,686 --> 00:14:48,462 at the Girl Scout camp, and you tied me to my bunk. 332 00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:50,021 Oh, man, good memories. 333 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,856 You were a little bossy pants. 334 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:55,235 It's Big Mandy now, and I'm still the boss of my pants... 335 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,005 Who gets in 'em, and who gets shut out of 'em. 336 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,259 Anyways, we ain't got time for chitchat. 337 00:14:59,284 --> 00:15:01,454 As I predicted, the parade went all off course. 338 00:15:01,479 --> 00:15:03,439 And I'm not letting it get worse, 339 00:15:03,464 --> 00:15:05,812 so I got to take your mom to the new location, stat. 340 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:06,918 Let's go. 341 00:15:06,943 --> 00:15:09,201 Just give it to someone else. 342 00:15:09,226 --> 00:15:11,059 No. 343 00:15:11,135 --> 00:15:12,319 She died? 344 00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:14,546 Not another meemaw. 345 00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:16,571 No, no, she's alive. 346 00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:18,577 She just doesn't want to accept the cane. 347 00:15:18,602 --> 00:15:19,619 That's crazy. 348 00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:21,275 All right, look, just tell me where it is, 349 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,048 - and I'll go get it for her. - It's faster if I show you. 350 00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:26,791 Come on, hop on. Oh, wear this. 351 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:31,485 Hop on and hold on. 352 00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:33,915 Where you put your hands is dealer's choice. 353 00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:46,547 Hey, Kel, what's with the party down here? 354 00:15:46,549 --> 00:15:49,308 You were supposed to pick up Ashlynn two hours ago, okay? 355 00:15:49,327 --> 00:15:51,143 She needs a fresh diaper and a dad that won't 356 00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:52,887 - leave her at Dairy Queen. - Okay, chill, chill, chill. 357 00:15:52,889 --> 00:15:54,831 I just got busy with something kind of important, okay? 358 00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:56,724 Just hold on to her for two more minutes, all right? 359 00:15:56,743 --> 00:15:58,275 - Just... yeah. - Are you serious? Dad... 360 00:15:58,300 --> 00:15:59,950 Just a few more minutes, okay? 361 00:15:59,975 --> 00:16:02,323 What the hell is happening? What are we doing here? 362 00:16:02,348 --> 00:16:05,175 If Barbara Flatch comes, she's never going to be able to find us. 363 00:16:05,251 --> 00:16:08,928 It's like you're making a mockery of a revered town tradition. 364 00:16:14,168 --> 00:16:16,502 Oh, no. No, no, no, um... 365 00:16:16,579 --> 00:16:18,504 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 366 00:16:18,523 --> 00:16:21,357 Excuse me! Beth. 367 00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:25,086 Oh, and... and everyone as well. 368 00:16:25,104 --> 00:16:26,437 I still need to get my speech. 369 00:16:26,462 --> 00:16:29,447 If you could come back here, that would be great. 370 00:16:32,445 --> 00:16:36,873 Hope my being here doesn't steal focus. 371 00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:41,769 Hey. What's going on? Barb Flatch. 372 00:16:41,771 --> 00:16:43,034 Okay. 373 00:16:44,382 --> 00:16:45,940 You left the AC on in the car, right? 374 00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:47,550 - Yep. - Okay. 375 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,126 Do you think they're hungry? 376 00:16:49,151 --> 00:16:51,644 Maybe you could chew up a pretzel and spit it into their mouths. 377 00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:52,734 Oh. 378 00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:54,852 Babe, joke. 379 00:16:54,877 --> 00:16:56,686 Duh! 380 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:59,854 Hey, ticktock. Eyes over here, people. 381 00:17:00,835 --> 00:17:04,141 Hello, hi. Welcome to my speech. 382 00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:07,478 Um... well, it's a start. 383 00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:10,147 Nan is totally still alive. 384 00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:13,760 Thank God, seriously. 385 00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:18,063 My gap year is going literally amazing, Beth. 386 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:21,158 My art is, like, getting better. 387 00:17:21,183 --> 00:17:23,045 I'm getting better, like, as a person. 388 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:26,572 Stronger... way stronger than Mickey, I'll tell you that. 389 00:17:26,649 --> 00:17:29,074 I'm doing literally ab work every single day 390 00:17:29,094 --> 00:17:33,805 and I'm getting swole and just living my best life. 391 00:17:35,326 --> 00:17:37,159 Um... 392 00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:41,215 Look, guys, everyone has to live out their dream 393 00:17:41,589 --> 00:17:44,107 before they pass over their cane, 394 00:17:44,183 --> 00:17:46,017 AKA die, right? 395 00:17:46,169 --> 00:17:47,926 Like, you can't wait, people. 396 00:17:48,004 --> 00:17:50,113 Like, be like Cheryl. 397 00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:52,023 Like, have that baby. 398 00:17:52,048 --> 00:17:53,167 Oh, no, I'm not... 399 00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,768 Nan dreamt of walking normal. 400 00:17:56,190 --> 00:18:01,018 But you can train yourself into literally anything you want... 401 00:18:02,943 --> 00:18:07,630 Like getting back with the most perfect girl in Flatch. 402 00:18:09,692 --> 00:18:14,119 Ha. Shoot, you make me smile. 403 00:18:14,197 --> 00:18:16,472 Carpe diem, people. 404 00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:20,201 Carpe diem, which is an ancient saying 405 00:18:20,203 --> 00:18:21,385 that means seize your carpets, 406 00:18:21,538 --> 00:18:24,388 which loosely translates to follow your dreams. 407 00:18:24,465 --> 00:18:27,058 So do yourselves a favor and live out 408 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,695 your dream gap year every day. 409 00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,064 You just got Shrubbed, all of you. 410 00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:34,197 - Yeah, yeah. - Oh. 411 00:18:34,222 --> 00:18:35,279 - Yeah, hi. - Who are you? 412 00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:38,120 Hi, I am Barb Flatch. I'm here. It's me. 413 00:18:38,145 --> 00:18:39,829 - Hi. - Barbara Flatch! 414 00:18:39,854 --> 00:18:42,083 Barbara Flatch. That's Barbara Flatch, you guys. 415 00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:43,315 I am so excited. 416 00:18:43,409 --> 00:18:45,668 I see so many familiar faces right now. 417 00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:46,911 This is crazy. 418 00:18:46,987 --> 00:18:49,822 And I just want to say I accept this cane. 419 00:18:49,841 --> 00:18:53,509 ♪ And though I'll make mistakes ♪ 420 00:18:53,586 --> 00:18:58,497 ♪ I'll never break your heart ♪ 421 00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:03,260 ♪ And I swear by the moon ♪ 422 00:19:03,413 --> 00:19:07,431 ♪ And the stars in the sky ♪ 423 00:19:07,433 --> 00:19:08,524 - ♪ I'll be there... ♪ - Bobby? 424 00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:10,860 - What are you doing? - Kelly, take this. 425 00:19:10,937 --> 00:19:12,845 ♪ I swear ♪ 426 00:19:12,864 --> 00:19:16,866 ♪ Like the shadow that's by your side... ♪ 427 00:19:18,094 --> 00:19:20,094 Oh, my God. 428 00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:21,704 Oh, my God. 429 00:19:21,729 --> 00:19:22,907 Yes! 430 00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:33,383 Thanks for taking care of her, Kel, 431 00:19:33,459 --> 00:19:35,534 while I was planning all of this. 432 00:19:35,553 --> 00:19:37,202 I wasn't expecting the crowd, but the more the merrier. 433 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,888 Anybody got beer down there? Beer? 434 00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:41,474 Come on! 435 00:19:43,436 --> 00:19:47,045 Where are my girls? Where are my girls? 436 00:19:47,065 --> 00:19:50,291 ♪ I swear ♪ 437 00:19:55,073 --> 00:19:57,055 Where are the babies? 438 00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,909 Oh, they're in the car. But don't worry, I left the AC on. 439 00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:04,645 Ooh! 440 00:20:06,325 --> 00:20:07,900 I liked your speech. 441 00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:09,326 Hi. Well, thank you. 442 00:20:09,351 --> 00:20:11,442 Your necklace is awesome. 443 00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:14,892 Oh, thanks. Yeah, I made it myself. 444 00:20:15,168 --> 00:20:17,260 Do you want to hopscotch later? 445 00:20:17,411 --> 00:20:19,670 Uh, totally. 446 00:20:19,747 --> 00:20:21,472 Okay. 447 00:20:25,321 --> 00:20:28,081 So, yeah, killed it at the cane parade. 448 00:20:28,106 --> 00:20:30,255 Pretty much blew Beth's mind. 449 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:32,090 Guess who's babysitting Ashlynn later? 450 00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,501 Moi, per yush. 451 00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:35,445 When that marriage crashes and burns, 452 00:20:35,596 --> 00:20:38,263 she's going to need me more than ever. 453 00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:40,675 Nothing changes here in good old Flatch. 454 00:20:40,693 --> 00:20:44,195 Mm, the new lady's kind of hot, though. 455 00:20:44,347 --> 00:20:46,030 And weird. 456 00:20:46,182 --> 00:20:47,364 Yeah. 457 00:20:47,441 --> 00:20:49,274 Cheryl and I are not pregnant. 458 00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:50,828 Gonna have to return that Pack 'n' Play 459 00:20:50,853 --> 00:20:53,070 and used breast pump somebody dropped off for us. 460 00:20:53,222 --> 00:20:56,357 But I think that Cheryl and I are gonna make great parents one day. 461 00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:59,026 I mean, we're already co-parenting chickens. 462 00:20:59,028 --> 00:21:01,787 And you know, if people don't always want to follow me, 463 00:21:01,806 --> 00:21:03,364 that's okay. 464 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:06,291 You can't always wait for people to flock to ya. 465 00:21:06,311 --> 00:21:09,570 Sometimes you just have to flock yourself. 466 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:13,557 That weird kid's speech about carpe diem really stuck with me. 467 00:21:13,651 --> 00:21:17,862 I mean, it's never too late to start a second chapter, am I right? 468 00:21:22,476 --> 00:21:24,235 Hey, carpe diem kid. 469 00:21:24,311 --> 00:21:26,904 Hey, Barb Flatch. I just bought this house, 470 00:21:26,929 --> 00:21:29,707 so I need you to move out by next week. 471 00:21:30,953 --> 00:21:34,953 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 34858

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