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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,047 --> 00:00:01,686 Grass. Reefer. 2 00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:04,492 Jazz cigarettes. Jamaican caviar. 3 00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:08,279 Whatever you call it, legalized marijuana is here to stay. 4 00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,154 Did you not review his remarks beforehand? 5 00:00:10,179 --> 00:00:11,107 I wrote them. 6 00:00:11,132 --> 00:00:12,670 I looked up all the slang on my church's website. 7 00:00:12,695 --> 00:00:15,497 Today, the legal marijuana business 8 00:00:15,531 --> 00:00:17,670 is a financial boon to our city. 9 00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:20,137 So I am proud to be here at the grand opening 10 00:00:20,171 --> 00:00:22,753 of L.A.'s 10,000th dispensary. 11 00:00:22,778 --> 00:00:25,403 You ready, L.A.? 12 00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:29,146 Go... buy drugs now! 13 00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:31,148 He improv'd that. 14 00:00:43,361 --> 00:00:45,529 At 10:00, we go to Alf Junior High School, 15 00:00:45,563 --> 00:00:47,998 which he named after Alf from the show "Alf." 16 00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:49,366 So much history in this city. 17 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,801 It's a photo op 18 00:00:50,835 --> 00:00:52,135 for the Meatless Monday school lunch initiative. 19 00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:53,570 Yeah, should be a total lay-up. 20 00:00:53,604 --> 00:00:55,605 We just don't want to get meme-ed. 21 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,774 You know, the funny internet photos? 22 00:00:57,809 --> 00:00:59,776 Oh, like the one with the happy baby, 23 00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:02,045 and underneath it says, "When you hit the fairway." 24 00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:05,715 It's funny because how would the baby know, right? 25 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,884 That's hilarious, sir, but as a public figure, 26 00:01:07,919 --> 00:01:09,553 you don't want to become a funny picture. 27 00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:10,487 - Okay. - That's why we avoid 28 00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:13,657 bathing suits, dancing at a cultural day, 29 00:01:13,691 --> 00:01:15,559 and, above all, eating on camera. 30 00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,394 - Got it, no eating. - After Meatless Mondays, 31 00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:20,197 we go to El Segundo to open up a community center. 32 00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:22,199 And I figure we can eat in the car. 33 00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:23,366 It's my turn to pick, and I pick tacos. 34 00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,168 - In the car, Jayden? - Tacos is a terrible car food. 35 00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:26,469 I pick tacos! 36 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,004 - Okay. - After that, we go to 37 00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:31,007 Tujunga to judge a Cutest Grandpa competition. 38 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:32,409 - That sounds fun. - A what? 39 00:01:32,443 --> 00:01:33,690 No, I'm the mayor. 40 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,012 I shouldn't be spending my day going to a ceremony 41 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,857 celebrating zero deaths at Six Flags this summer. 42 00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:41,718 Oh, no, they actually canceled that this morning. 43 00:01:41,752 --> 00:01:44,087 - They checked the bushes. - Now, what I'm saying is 44 00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:47,424 we have real problems here... homelessness, infrastructure. 45 00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:48,925 The Oscar host situation. 46 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,594 God, that group thing does not work. 47 00:01:50,628 --> 00:01:53,096 These photo ops and canned speeches... 48 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:55,665 it's just pointless. I want to do something. 49 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,969 Let's fix the traffic problem. Build a subway. 50 00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,904 L.A. has a subway, sir. 51 00:02:00,938 --> 00:02:02,239 Well, it stinks. 52 00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:03,406 - Hey. - What? 53 00:02:03,441 --> 00:02:05,375 I hate my job too. 54 00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:06,877 But you know how I get through the day? 55 00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,445 We all know how you get through your day. 56 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:11,047 This is what change looks like. 57 00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:14,618 I am the first woman of color without a master's degree 58 00:02:14,652 --> 00:02:16,253 to serve as chief of staff. 59 00:02:16,287 --> 00:02:19,055 Hashtag progress, hashtag one filter. 60 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:20,991 My first act as "the boss"... 61 00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:23,493 changing the code on the executive bathroom 62 00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:26,429 to the birthday of a feminist icon. 63 00:02:26,464 --> 00:02:27,831 Katniss Everdeen. 64 00:02:27,865 --> 00:02:31,368 Hey, I'm not perfect. My nails are chipped. 65 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,203 I get UTIs. 66 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,772 My car is filthy. 67 00:02:35,806 --> 00:02:37,540 Oh! 68 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,543 Hey guys. I mean, good morning, sir. 69 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:41,978 Good morning. Apparently, I'm not 70 00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:43,914 gonna be in the office at all today 71 00:02:43,948 --> 00:02:47,651 because being mayor is 90% photo ops and animal funerals. 72 00:02:47,685 --> 00:02:49,586 Not just any animal. Dog with a Blog. 73 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,289 So I'm putting you in charge today, Mikaela, 74 00:02:52,323 --> 00:02:54,291 and you have one job... 75 00:02:54,325 --> 00:02:56,293 babysit Arpi Meskimen. 76 00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:58,561 Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. 77 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,830 That's why I'm so nice to my sister's baby. 78 00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:02,587 I don't trust the deputy mayor, 79 00:03:02,612 --> 00:03:04,391 so keep her distracted, okay? 80 00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,703 I'll be cigarette lighter. She'll be my sister's baby. 81 00:03:06,737 --> 00:03:08,605 Thank you Mikaela. 82 00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:12,175 I'm not saying this about a dog. 83 00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:13,310 I'll show you a picture, sir. 84 00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:14,844 For a dog he was pretty hot, 85 00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:17,314 and for a blogger, he was very hot. 86 00:03:17,348 --> 00:03:19,549 This is my office. 87 00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:21,318 Still got a lot of work to do. 88 00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:22,819 I heard you wanted to see me. 89 00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:24,321 I'd been hoping 90 00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:25,522 to get a minute with you as well. 91 00:03:25,556 --> 00:03:26,890 I'd love to show you "Pee-pee porn." 92 00:03:26,924 --> 00:03:29,859 Ew, no. Wait, is that sex negative? 93 00:03:29,894 --> 00:03:32,329 It's an acronym for Private Plane Paths 94 00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:33,863 Over Residential Neighborhoods. 95 00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:36,599 I been working on this ever since the Richie-Riches 96 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,336 in Santa Monica got the FAA to ban private jets 97 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,338 at their airport because of noise pollution. 98 00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:42,906 The problem is, 99 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,342 now Van Nuys airport is getting twice the traffic, 100 00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:47,777 which means twice the noise over poorer neighborhoods. 101 00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,879 And it's really affecting the kids there. 102 00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:52,682 I mean, did you see this year's L.A. County Spelling Bee? 103 00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:55,085 Your word is syzygy. 104 00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:57,354 - What? - Syzygy. 105 00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:58,588 What? 106 00:03:58,622 --> 00:04:00,590 - Syzygy! - What? 107 00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,926 - Mm. - I'd love... to take PPPORN 108 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,362 to the Council with Mayor Bremer's support. 109 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,738 And since he's out, his... 110 00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,233 chief of staff is the boss. 111 00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,302 So, boss... 112 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:16,873 Arpi, obviously, PPPORN is worth looking at, 113 00:04:16,907 --> 00:04:19,776 but it's not going to be our priority today. 114 00:04:20,711 --> 00:04:22,812 Fair enough. So what is? 115 00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,315 Um... today, I was thinking 116 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:29,052 that we could all settle in, set up our offices. 117 00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:31,588 I'm sure you have a lot of unpacking to do. 118 00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,890 No, I asked them to not give me an office. 119 00:04:33,924 --> 00:04:35,892 This is all of the desk I need. 120 00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:37,994 Inbox, outbox, pepper spray, 121 00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:40,563 trail mix, and a David Baldacci novel 122 00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:42,373 for red lights while I'm on my bicycle. 123 00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:43,765 Well, as you can see, 124 00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,702 my office still needs a lot of work. 125 00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,804 I get it. Optics are important. 126 00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:49,294 You're the chief of frickin' staff. 127 00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:50,449 You got the cherry parking spot 128 00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:51,770 and the code to the good bathroom. 129 00:04:51,795 --> 00:04:53,691 You need an office space that reflects that. 130 00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,957 So how can I help? 131 00:04:56,122 --> 00:04:59,792 Okay, great. Well, I got some magazines. 132 00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:03,053 - Looking for ideas. Smart. - I was going to make a vision board. 133 00:05:03,078 --> 00:05:04,612 See it all together. Find a theme. 134 00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:06,156 But I couldn't find any tape. 135 00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,358 Well, then let's get you some tape. 136 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,627 To the supply closet, boss. 137 00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:15,295 Why am I sitting in traffic? 138 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,451 Where's my police escort? 139 00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:18,177 Okay, so I did order a police escort 140 00:05:18,204 --> 00:05:19,845 off of the internet, but when she showed up, 141 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,071 she was a stripper. 142 00:05:21,105 --> 00:05:22,272 So I told her to go home, and she said, 143 00:05:22,306 --> 00:05:24,040 "I don't have a home," so I said, "Come live with me." 144 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:26,076 - Hey, sweetheart. - We watched your press 145 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:28,311 conference this morning in civics... we're doing a unit 146 00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:31,881 on the boomer generation's failure and hypocrisy. 147 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,450 Like how a certain powerful boomer 148 00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:35,785 wouldn't let me buy a CBD mud mask, 149 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,454 but this morning he told the whole city 150 00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:39,122 to go and buy drugs. 151 00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:41,958 Okay, all right, look, that was the mayor talking. 152 00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,995 Cannabis is legal for adults. You're 15, Orly. 153 00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,464 You do know that legalization 154 00:05:47,498 --> 00:05:49,933 is racist and classist, right? 155 00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:52,001 A lot of marginalized communities 156 00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:54,471 depend on the illicit drug trade to live. 157 00:05:54,505 --> 00:05:58,341 The poor, surfers, DJs with crushing DJ school debt. 158 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:02,082 You are so smart. I'm so proud of you. 159 00:06:03,039 --> 00:06:06,174 Ooh, sir, we are back on for Six Flags. 160 00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,817 That body they found turned out to be 161 00:06:07,852 --> 00:06:08,952 a very realistic sex doll. 162 00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:11,488 And we're celebrating that? 163 00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:13,389 Really? 164 00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:15,758 Yes. Jared, yes! 165 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:18,695 That was the best Spider-Man. Yeah! 166 00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:20,096 Someone's mood has improved. 167 00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:21,698 Yeah, I had a couple pudding cups. 168 00:06:21,732 --> 00:06:24,200 That's a very cool blouse. 169 00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:27,737 Wait, that was just a heart. 170 00:06:27,771 --> 00:06:29,305 And now it's a soccer ball? 171 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,241 Are you kidding me, Chloe R.? 172 00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:33,176 Did you... Oh, yeah. 173 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,477 Okay, let's just get this over with. 174 00:06:34,512 --> 00:06:36,012 Okay, everybody. 175 00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:39,516 Sir, sir, remember. Don't eat. 176 00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:41,518 Whisper, whisper, whisper. 177 00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:43,219 So "meatless Mondays" on three! 178 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:45,054 One, two... 179 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:47,257 Oh my God, what is he doing? 180 00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,459 Is he rolling it up, tip to crust? 181 00:06:49,516 --> 00:06:51,008 No, no, please don't eat it. 182 00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:52,462 Don't eat it, don't eat it! 183 00:06:52,463 --> 00:06:55,180 - Don't eat it! Oh! - Oh! 184 00:06:55,318 --> 00:06:56,918 Sir. 185 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,471 Meatless Monday. 186 00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:03,721 I have so much food in my mouth. 187 00:07:03,746 --> 00:07:05,053 I couldn't say it. 188 00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:08,201 Shoot. Looks like we're out of tape. 189 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,763 This tends to happen towardss gthe end of the fiscal year. 190 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,248 We run out of tape? 191 00:07:12,273 --> 00:07:13,666 City government, boss. 192 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,502 It ain't Google with their free breakfasts 193 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:20,039 and meditation rooms, and all the tape in the world. 194 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,041 Well, I guess we could go buy some. 195 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,677 Or we make like government workers 196 00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,178 and get resourceful. 197 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,780 This is an opportunity for you to learn 198 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,949 how things get done around here, ma'am. 199 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,550 Let me show you the ropes. 200 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,220 Well, I don't want to waste your whole day. 201 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,921 Waste? Hey, I'm here to help you. 202 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,257 And I know a guy who might just have some tape. 203 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,260 Double sided. The good stuff. 204 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:44,196 I'm not sure why you think I'd have double-sided tape. 205 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,032 I'm just a normal guy. 206 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,536 Well, sorry to waste your time, Herb. 207 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,971 Let's go, Ms. Shaw. 208 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,774 However, perhaps I could find some. 209 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,110 I don't know where, just off the top of my head. 210 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,414 I mean, not there. What? 211 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,250 But you need to do me a favor first. 212 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,810 I'm not letting you draw me again. 213 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:09,188 My council parking placard was revoked recently. 214 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,523 Yes, I parked at a fire hydrant 215 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,458 so I could run into the drugstore, 216 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,628 but that's only because if my mistress gets pregnant, 217 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,830 that would affect my work for the city. 218 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,732 Preaching to the choir, Councilman. 219 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:23,736 So if you could arrange for the return of my placard, 220 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,038 I might just be able to secure 221 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,841 some very sticky tape for you. 222 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:33,012 We've been meme'd. Hard. 223 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,448 You just got a targeted ad for a pillow with a heartbeat? 224 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,716 Okay, that's private, Tommy. 225 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,484 Well, do you think I wanted to see it? 226 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,386 You guys, I'm loving the banter. 227 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,988 Sir, why did you do that with the pizza? 228 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,191 Why are you guys so serious? 229 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,393 I'm in a good mood now. 230 00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,596 - Oh my God. - Wink. 231 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,398 Wait, Mr. Mayor, back at the weed dispensary... 232 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,801 I got a bear. Then I ate a bear. 233 00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,872 Hey, I just want to say, it was really cool 234 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,442 meeting someone as tall as you, so feel free to partake. 235 00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,044 I haven't smoked in years. 236 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,880 You don't have to smoke, man. 237 00:09:07,906 --> 00:09:10,311 They're edibles, you just eat them. 238 00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:12,610 An hour later, you'll forget all about the backstabbing 239 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,553 in the unicycle community. 240 00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:18,500 It would've been rude if I'd said no. 241 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,626 But you didn't need to actually eat one of them. 242 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,261 Yes, I did. 243 00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:25,665 'Cause you guys keep dragging me all over town for nothing. 244 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,166 So yeah. 245 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,735 Oh, come on. It was just a couple of bears. 246 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,537 Whoever got hurt by bears? 247 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,139 Well, when my aunt was having her 248 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,974 last-ever period, she went to the woods... 249 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,243 Sir, what do you mean, a couple of bears? 250 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,412 Shh-shh, Tommy will get mad. 251 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,249 Oh wait, I just... I did that... 252 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:47,687 It's funny you ask about placards, Arpi. 253 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,389 Because my brother-in-law is the DOT liaison 254 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,225 with the L.A.P.D. traffic coordination section. 255 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,795 Huh. What do you know? 256 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:59,031 And hey, if there's anything the chief of staff 257 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,167 and I can do in return... 258 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,102 Look, the mayor's office 259 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,104 issues an official proclamation 260 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,239 for pretty much every day of the year. 261 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,441 Yes, sir, today I believe 262 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,110 is Ugly Nanny Day here in Los Angeles. 263 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,012 Well, my twin daughters... 264 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,281 Cameron and Sophie. Lovely girls. 265 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,483 Well, thank you. They turn 16 in May. 266 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,186 My ex-wife's new husband works for Disney. 267 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,855 So every birthday, I get my ass handed to me. 268 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,424 Last year, they got to melt Olaf. 269 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,992 Divorce is toughest on the dads. 270 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,662 But this year, I'm going to bury Kevin. 271 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,430 I want the twins' birthdays, 272 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,266 May 5th, to be declared Sophie and Cameron Higbee day. 273 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,302 Well, that's something 274 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,804 the mayor's office would have to approve. 275 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,573 Absolutely. 276 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,375 Arpi, why don't we spend the afternoon 277 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,177 getting the proc language just right. 278 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,546 Frank, tell us about your daughters. 279 00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,148 Wonderful. 280 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,384 For starters, the divorce was their fault. 281 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,586 That's one hell of a proclamation. 282 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:57,523 Now, let's get the mayor's Jane Hancock on this. 283 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,892 Feminism. 284 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,627 Look, I don't want this to take 285 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,897 any longer than it needs to, but before we use the AutoPen, 286 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,899 I should probably call the mayor. 287 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,135 Sure thing. Due diligence. 288 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,370 I'll just be over here doing my stretches. 289 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,177 Guys, guys, guys. It's Mikaela from work. 290 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,813 Act like we're not high. 291 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,182 - Hello, Officer. - Sir, it's Mikaela. 292 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,518 I just wanted to let you know that Arpi and I... 293 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,187 - Hello, sir. - Have been together all day... 294 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,555 Haven't even bathroomed. 295 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,223 And right now, we were wondering 296 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,826 if we can maybe use the AutoPen to make 297 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,629 next May 5th Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day? 298 00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:39,865 That sounds amazing. Hey. We should meet up. 299 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,368 Wherever we are in our lives, we should be together 300 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,137 for Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day. 301 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,173 Okay? Love you. 302 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,446 Sir, maybe we should go ahead and cancel our next stop. 303 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,382 No, no, no, come on. Look at me. I can maintain. 304 00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,753 I've been maintaining on real pot since... 305 00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,221 since before your parents 306 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,789 even thought about having a child. 307 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,325 Thought about? I was an accident, sir. 308 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,660 Mr. Mayor, I'm not a drug expert. 309 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,296 But according to a "Fresh Air" interview with Calvin Broadus, 310 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:14,233 aka Snoop Dogg, quote, "That bleep be strong now. 311 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:17,169 Your body be like, what? That bleep go hard." 312 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,904 It's not like it was in the '70s, sir. 313 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,473 Tommy, I'm good. 314 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,975 I'm actually enjoying this boring pointless day now. 315 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,377 In fact, what's next on my schedule? 316 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,714 Opening a community center. That's going to be fun. 317 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,817 Really. Pot almost never makes me paranoid. 318 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,420 And helping Mayor Bremer cut the ribbon today, 319 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,623 the L.A. King's mascot, Bailey the Lion. 320 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,161 What the hell is that thing? 321 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,264 It can fly? 322 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,002 Get the... get... He's got two swords. 323 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,906 - Oh, no, no. - No, no, no... 324 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,941 Fly back to hell! 325 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,946 What? What are you looking at? 326 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,414 No! 327 00:13:03,361 --> 00:13:06,395 May 5, 2021 is now officially 328 00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:08,793 Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day. 329 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,490 Now, the one little hiccup 330 00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:14,233 is that May 5th is also Cinco de Mayo. 331 00:13:14,258 --> 00:13:16,866 And the Mexican community understandably expects 332 00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:19,799 the proclamation for that day to be honoring them. 333 00:13:19,838 --> 00:13:20,971 I see. 334 00:13:21,006 --> 00:13:23,736 So if the girls are going to get their proclamation... 335 00:13:23,791 --> 00:13:25,376 We have to move Cinco de Mayo. 336 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,379 Sounds time consuming and probably impossible. 337 00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,047 Let's do it. 338 00:13:30,081 --> 00:13:32,349 That's the City Hall spirit. 339 00:13:32,384 --> 00:13:33,617 Andale! 340 00:13:34,686 --> 00:13:38,389 You want me to move Cinco de Mayo. 341 00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:40,357 Ocho de Mayo is wide open, Maria. 342 00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:43,661 Look, I would be willing 343 00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:46,297 to make some calls on your behalf, if... 344 00:13:46,331 --> 00:13:49,200 Ah! I love that word. Go on. 345 00:13:50,068 --> 00:13:52,736 Are you aware of the bathroom situation up here? 346 00:13:52,771 --> 00:13:55,506 Besides me, this floor houses the Mayor's Commission 347 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,241 on Gender Equity and Brunch, 348 00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:59,543 the Health Department's Office for Yogurt Safety, 349 00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,413 and someone rented space to an Ann Taylor Loft. 350 00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:05,783 It's all women. With one bathroom. 351 00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:08,853 I can't take it. 352 00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:11,422 Sometimes people just leave their tights in there. 353 00:14:11,456 --> 00:14:14,959 Why? What happened to them? 354 00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:19,864 I think we can help you, Councilwoman. 355 00:14:49,461 --> 00:14:53,364 Let's see. Tape, right? Do I have any tape? 356 00:14:54,299 --> 00:14:57,668 Tape. Tape, tape. 357 00:14:57,702 --> 00:14:59,336 That's not tape. 358 00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:04,074 Tape, tape... here we go. 359 00:15:04,109 --> 00:15:06,911 Regular old tape. 360 00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:19,924 Why is the sun following us? 361 00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:21,392 This is bad. 362 00:15:21,426 --> 00:15:23,561 We cannot cancel our next meeting. 363 00:15:23,595 --> 00:15:25,529 It's a work safety forum with local 300, 364 00:15:25,564 --> 00:15:27,631 and you do not stand up the construction unions. 365 00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:28,966 But the good news, sir, 366 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,568 is at least your current state of mind 367 00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:32,002 is appropriate for this. 368 00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,672 All you really need to do is listen and act concerned. 369 00:15:34,706 --> 00:15:37,675 I am concerned. About everything. 370 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:40,844 I mean, this dumb day should have been easy as pie. 371 00:15:40,879 --> 00:15:44,289 But everything's all goofed. Goofed. 372 00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,016 Okay, let's use that. 373 00:15:46,059 --> 00:15:47,893 Let's say I'm a construction worker. 374 00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:49,520 And I'm telling you how worried I am 375 00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:52,356 about unsafe scaffolding around business sites. 376 00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:55,059 Oh, that's awful. Those poor sites. 377 00:15:55,093 --> 00:15:55,893 Oh, good, good, good. 378 00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:58,596 It's my turn. It's Bob's birthday. 379 00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:00,331 While he helps Farmer Pickles, 380 00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:02,232 let's plan a surprise party. 381 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,701 Was that Bob the Builder? 382 00:16:03,735 --> 00:16:04,969 I'm just doing what you're doing. 383 00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:07,671 Oh, God I forgot Bob's birthday. 384 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,710 This is all very concerning. 385 00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:15,079 I do not like this. 386 00:16:15,113 --> 00:16:19,550 Oh, you poor, poor man. Are you Bob? 387 00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:21,218 - My name is Manny Petty, sir. - Oh. 388 00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:22,553 I was working with unlabeled chemicals... 389 00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:25,055 - Your name is what? - Manny Petty. 390 00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:27,157 My hands and feet got burned when I was working... 391 00:16:30,028 --> 00:16:32,529 Of course, your hands and feet... 392 00:16:33,665 --> 00:16:35,265 You're Manny Petty! 393 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:39,203 Hey, his name is Manny Petty. 394 00:16:39,237 --> 00:16:40,738 And look what got hurt! 395 00:16:40,772 --> 00:16:42,773 Oh, my God, you're so funny. 396 00:16:48,823 --> 00:16:51,757 Looking good. We did it, boss. 397 00:16:51,854 --> 00:16:53,888 Yeah, but I feel bad. 398 00:16:53,986 --> 00:16:55,353 I wasted your whole day on this. 399 00:16:55,454 --> 00:16:58,856 How much do you charge for babysitting anyway? 400 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,564 I'm sorry, what? 401 00:17:00,589 --> 00:17:02,486 You babysat me all day. That was your job, right? 402 00:17:02,517 --> 00:17:04,661 I-I... 403 00:17:04,695 --> 00:17:06,529 I don't even know what you're talking about. 404 00:17:06,564 --> 00:17:08,031 Oh, save it. 405 00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,466 If the mayor didn't ask you to keep an eye on me, 406 00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,802 he's even dumber than I thought. 407 00:17:12,836 --> 00:17:15,338 Fine. Well, it worked, didn't it? 408 00:17:15,372 --> 00:17:18,341 I kept you busy all day. 409 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,742 Is that what you think happened? 410 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:22,245 - Mm-hmm. - That's real cute. 411 00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:26,449 'Cause all anyone else saw was me helping the chief of staff, 412 00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:27,984 the woman who speaks for the mayor. 413 00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:29,052 Mm-hmm. 414 00:17:29,086 --> 00:17:31,254 And since Arpi Meskimen does not waste her time, 415 00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:33,690 they know I'm getting something in return. 416 00:17:33,724 --> 00:17:36,993 What have I been trying to make happen for months? 417 00:17:51,342 --> 00:17:52,809 PPPORN. 418 00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:53,977 Wait, so you're telling me 419 00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:55,778 that everyone we talked to today, 420 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:58,247 they all think that the mayor supports PPPORN? 421 00:17:58,282 --> 00:18:00,583 Herb, Frank, Maria. They were the three hold-outs 422 00:18:00,618 --> 00:18:02,852 keeping PPPORN from passing the council, 423 00:18:02,886 --> 00:18:05,088 but all three have pledged their support 424 00:18:05,122 --> 00:18:07,924 now that the mayor is so obviously onboard. 425 00:18:07,958 --> 00:18:11,094 Now who's the baby, Ms. Shaw? 426 00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:14,097 Yeah. You going to want to say goo-goo-gah-gah. 427 00:18:14,131 --> 00:18:15,932 I'll tell the mayor. 428 00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:17,300 Let's think about that for a second. 429 00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:20,236 You're gonna tell your boss that the first time 430 00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:23,906 he left you alone here, you got played like a garawon? 431 00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,810 That's a traditional Honduran drum I play at night to relax. 432 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:30,113 Look, it's not so bad. 433 00:18:30,147 --> 00:18:32,882 PPPORN is the right thing to do. 434 00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:35,785 - Oh. - Take the win. 435 00:18:35,819 --> 00:18:38,021 Go home. Open a bag of wine. 436 00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:41,557 And wake up, ready for another big day. 437 00:18:42,926 --> 00:18:44,527 I told you this morning I was going to show you 438 00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,729 how things worked around here. 439 00:18:46,764 --> 00:18:48,765 So you're welcome, boss. 440 00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:01,678 - Oh, damn it. - How was your day, Mr. Mayor? 441 00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:02,879 What are you doing here? 442 00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:05,148 You're on my way home. 443 00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:09,052 I head down Highland before I bike onto the freeway. 444 00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:11,721 Arpi, I've had a rough day. 445 00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:14,991 So I heard. But all that dumb stuff today? 446 00:19:15,025 --> 00:19:17,160 People showed up 'cause you were going to be there. 447 00:19:17,194 --> 00:19:19,829 And I made Manny Petty's wife cry. 448 00:19:19,863 --> 00:19:21,130 Manny Petty? 449 00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:22,665 - Mm. - That's hilarious. 450 00:19:25,202 --> 00:19:27,804 I get it, I get it. 451 00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:30,173 I just want to do all the shiny stuff, 452 00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:31,474 be a hero. 453 00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:33,743 But I'm the mayor. 454 00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:38,014 And all that dumb stuff matters to someone. 455 00:19:39,783 --> 00:19:42,719 Now, those people 456 00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:45,188 are going to be expecting a statement. 457 00:19:45,222 --> 00:19:47,323 And I'm not looking to help you, 458 00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:49,459 but if you don't want to talk about 459 00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:52,328 how you fell into an open dog grave today... 460 00:19:54,131 --> 00:19:56,132 Mikaela signed off on it. 461 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:58,801 What? 462 00:19:58,836 --> 00:20:00,937 I'm changing the name. 463 00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:05,942 Which is why I'm proud to announce a new initiative... 464 00:20:05,976 --> 00:20:09,579 Rerouting air traffic for at-risk towns. 465 00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:11,748 Or... RATFART. 466 00:20:11,782 --> 00:20:13,616 Damn it. 467 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:17,220 Sorry. Sorry. 468 00:20:17,254 --> 00:20:19,188 Stupid, stupid day. 469 00:20:19,223 --> 00:20:21,524 Sir, did you say "rat fart"? 470 00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:26,062 Oh, there you are. 471 00:20:26,096 --> 00:20:29,332 Oh no, please, please don't. I've had a long day. 472 00:20:31,902 --> 00:20:35,505 You made grilled cheese. 473 00:20:35,539 --> 00:20:36,873 Is this a trap? 474 00:20:36,907 --> 00:20:39,242 No. I feel bad. 475 00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:41,644 They don't get to yell at my dad. 476 00:20:41,678 --> 00:20:44,080 Only I get to yell at my dad. 477 00:20:44,114 --> 00:20:46,449 Works for me. 478 00:20:52,556 --> 00:20:54,490 ...after returning home from Afghanistan, 479 00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:56,492 all Sergeant Cusack wanted to do 480 00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:57,660 was surprise his daughter 481 00:20:57,694 --> 00:20:59,762 dressed as her favorite mascot. 482 00:21:02,299 --> 00:21:04,734 It's okay. 483 00:21:05,736 --> 00:21:08,194 Could I maybe have a glass of wine? 484 00:21:08,257 --> 00:21:13,257 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 35823

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