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1
00:00:00,047 --> 00:00:01,686
Grass. Reefer.
2
00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:04,492
Jazz cigarettes. Jamaican caviar.
3
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:08,279
Whatever you call it, legalized
marijuana is here to stay.
4
00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,154
Did you not review
his remarks beforehand?
5
00:00:10,179 --> 00:00:11,107
I wrote them.
6
00:00:11,132 --> 00:00:12,670
I looked up all the slang
on my church's website.
7
00:00:12,695 --> 00:00:15,497
Today, the legal marijuana business
8
00:00:15,531 --> 00:00:17,670
is a financial boon to our city.
9
00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:20,137
So I am proud to be here
at the grand opening
10
00:00:20,171 --> 00:00:22,753
of L.A.'s 10,000th dispensary.
11
00:00:22,778 --> 00:00:25,403
You ready, L.A.?
12
00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:29,146
Go... buy drugs now!
13
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:31,148
He improv'd that.
14
00:00:43,361 --> 00:00:45,529
At 10:00, we go to
Alf Junior High School,
15
00:00:45,563 --> 00:00:47,998
which he named after
Alf from the show "Alf."
16
00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:49,366
So much history in this city.
17
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,801
It's a photo op
18
00:00:50,835 --> 00:00:52,135
for the Meatless Monday
school lunch initiative.
19
00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:53,570
Yeah, should be a total lay-up.
20
00:00:53,604 --> 00:00:55,605
We just don't want to get meme-ed.
21
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,774
You know, the funny internet photos?
22
00:00:57,809 --> 00:00:59,776
Oh, like the one with the happy baby,
23
00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:02,045
and underneath it says,
"When you hit the fairway."
24
00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:05,715
It's funny because how would
the baby know, right?
25
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,884
That's hilarious, sir,
but as a public figure,
26
00:01:07,919 --> 00:01:09,553
you don't want
to become a funny picture.
27
00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:10,487
- Okay.
- That's why we avoid
28
00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:13,657
bathing suits,
dancing at a cultural day,
29
00:01:13,691 --> 00:01:15,559
and, above all, eating on camera.
30
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,394
- Got it, no eating.
- After Meatless Mondays,
31
00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:20,197
we go to El Segundo
to open up a community center.
32
00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:22,199
And I figure we can eat in the car.
33
00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:23,366
It's my turn to pick, and I pick tacos.
34
00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,168
- In the car, Jayden?
- Tacos is a terrible car food.
35
00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:26,469
I pick tacos!
36
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,004
- Okay.
- After that, we go to
37
00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:31,007
Tujunga to judge
a Cutest Grandpa competition.
38
00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:32,409
- That sounds fun.
- A what?
39
00:01:32,443 --> 00:01:33,690
No, I'm the mayor.
40
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,012
I shouldn't be spending my day
going to a ceremony
41
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,857
celebrating zero deaths
at Six Flags this summer.
42
00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:41,718
Oh, no, they actually
canceled that this morning.
43
00:01:41,752 --> 00:01:44,087
- They checked the bushes.
- Now, what I'm saying is
44
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:47,424
we have real problems here...
homelessness, infrastructure.
45
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:48,925
The Oscar host situation.
46
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,594
God, that group thing does not work.
47
00:01:50,628 --> 00:01:53,096
These photo ops and canned speeches...
48
00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:55,665
it's just pointless.
I want to do something.
49
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,969
Let's fix the traffic problem.
Build a subway.
50
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,904
L.A. has a subway, sir.
51
00:02:00,938 --> 00:02:02,239
Well, it stinks.
52
00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:03,406
- Hey.
- What?
53
00:02:03,441 --> 00:02:05,375
I hate my job too.
54
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:06,877
But you know how I get through the day?
55
00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,445
We all know
how you get through your day.
56
00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:11,047
This is what change looks like.
57
00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:14,618
I am the first woman of color
without a master's degree
58
00:02:14,652 --> 00:02:16,253
to serve as chief of staff.
59
00:02:16,287 --> 00:02:19,055
Hashtag progress, hashtag one filter.
60
00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:20,991
My first act as "the boss"...
61
00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:23,493
changing the code
on the executive bathroom
62
00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:26,429
to the birthday of a feminist icon.
63
00:02:26,464 --> 00:02:27,831
Katniss Everdeen.
64
00:02:27,865 --> 00:02:31,368
Hey, I'm not perfect.
My nails are chipped.
65
00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,203
I get UTIs.
66
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,772
My car is filthy.
67
00:02:35,806 --> 00:02:37,540
Oh!
68
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,543
Hey guys. I mean, good morning, sir.
69
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:41,978
Good morning. Apparently, I'm not
70
00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:43,914
gonna be in the office at all today
71
00:02:43,948 --> 00:02:47,651
because being mayor is 90%
photo ops and animal funerals.
72
00:02:47,685 --> 00:02:49,586
Not just any animal. Dog with a Blog.
73
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,289
So I'm putting you
in charge today, Mikaela,
74
00:02:52,323 --> 00:02:54,291
and you have one job...
75
00:02:54,325 --> 00:02:56,293
babysit Arpi Meskimen.
76
00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:58,561
Keep your friends close
but keep your enemies closer.
77
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,830
That's why I'm
so nice to my sister's baby.
78
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:02,587
I don't trust the deputy mayor,
79
00:03:02,612 --> 00:03:04,391
so keep her distracted, okay?
80
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,703
I'll be cigarette lighter.
She'll be my sister's baby.
81
00:03:06,737 --> 00:03:08,605
Thank you Mikaela.
82
00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:12,175
I'm not saying this about a dog.
83
00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:13,310
I'll show you a picture, sir.
84
00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:14,844
For a dog he was pretty hot,
85
00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:17,314
and for a blogger, he was very hot.
86
00:03:17,348 --> 00:03:19,549
This is my office.
87
00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:21,318
Still got a lot of work to do.
88
00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:22,819
I heard you wanted to see me.
89
00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:24,321
I'd been hoping
90
00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:25,522
to get a minute with you as well.
91
00:03:25,556 --> 00:03:26,890
I'd love to show you "Pee-pee porn."
92
00:03:26,924 --> 00:03:29,859
Ew, no. Wait, is that sex negative?
93
00:03:29,894 --> 00:03:32,329
It's an acronym for Private Plane Paths
94
00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:33,863
Over Residential Neighborhoods.
95
00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:36,599
I been working on this
ever since the Richie-Riches
96
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,336
in Santa Monica got the FAA
to ban private jets
97
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,338
at their airport
because of noise pollution.
98
00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:42,906
The problem is,
99
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,342
now Van Nuys airport
is getting twice the traffic,
100
00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:47,777
which means twice the noise
over poorer neighborhoods.
101
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,879
And it's really affecting
the kids there.
102
00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:52,682
I mean, did you see this year's
L.A. County Spelling Bee?
103
00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:55,085
Your word is syzygy.
104
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:57,354
- What?
- Syzygy.
105
00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:58,588
What?
106
00:03:58,622 --> 00:04:00,590
- Syzygy!
- What?
107
00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,926
- Mm.
- I'd love... to take PPPORN
108
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,362
to the Council
with Mayor Bremer's support.
109
00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,738
And since he's out, his...
110
00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,233
chief of staff is the boss.
111
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,302
So, boss...
112
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:16,873
Arpi, obviously,
PPPORN is worth looking at,
113
00:04:16,907 --> 00:04:19,776
but it's not going to be
our priority today.
114
00:04:20,711 --> 00:04:22,812
Fair enough. So what is?
115
00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,315
Um... today, I was thinking
116
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:29,052
that we could all settle in,
set up our offices.
117
00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:31,588
I'm sure you have a lot
of unpacking to do.
118
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,890
No, I asked them
to not give me an office.
119
00:04:33,924 --> 00:04:35,892
This is all of the desk I need.
120
00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:37,994
Inbox, outbox, pepper spray,
121
00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:40,563
trail mix, and a David Baldacci novel
122
00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:42,373
for red lights while I'm on my bicycle.
123
00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:43,765
Well, as you can see,
124
00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,702
my office still needs a lot of work.
125
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,804
I get it. Optics are important.
126
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:49,294
You're the chief of frickin' staff.
127
00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:50,449
You got the cherry parking spot
128
00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:51,770
and the code to the good bathroom.
129
00:04:51,795 --> 00:04:53,691
You need an office space
that reflects that.
130
00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,957
So how can I help?
131
00:04:56,122 --> 00:04:59,792
Okay, great. Well, I got some magazines.
132
00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:03,053
- Looking for ideas. Smart.
- I was going to make a vision board.
133
00:05:03,078 --> 00:05:04,612
See it all together. Find a theme.
134
00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:06,156
But I couldn't find any tape.
135
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,358
Well, then let's get you some tape.
136
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,627
To the supply closet, boss.
137
00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:15,295
Why am I sitting in traffic?
138
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,451
Where's my police escort?
139
00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:18,177
Okay, so I did order a police escort
140
00:05:18,204 --> 00:05:19,845
off of the internet,
but when she showed up,
141
00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,071
she was a stripper.
142
00:05:21,105 --> 00:05:22,272
So I told her to go home, and she said,
143
00:05:22,306 --> 00:05:24,040
"I don't have a home,"
so I said, "Come live with me."
144
00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:26,076
- Hey, sweetheart.
- We watched your press
145
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:28,311
conference this morning
in civics... we're doing a unit
146
00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:31,881
on the boomer generation's
failure and hypocrisy.
147
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,450
Like how a certain powerful boomer
148
00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:35,785
wouldn't let me buy a CBD mud mask,
149
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,454
but this morning he told the whole city
150
00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:39,122
to go and buy drugs.
151
00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:41,958
Okay, all right, look,
that was the mayor talking.
152
00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,995
Cannabis is legal for adults.
You're 15, Orly.
153
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,464
You do know that legalization
154
00:05:47,498 --> 00:05:49,933
is racist and classist, right?
155
00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:52,001
A lot of marginalized communities
156
00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:54,471
depend on the illicit drug
trade to live.
157
00:05:54,505 --> 00:05:58,341
The poor, surfers, DJs
with crushing DJ school debt.
158
00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:02,082
You are so smart. I'm so proud of you.
159
00:06:03,039 --> 00:06:06,174
Ooh, sir, we are back on for Six Flags.
160
00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,817
That body they found turned out to be
161
00:06:07,852 --> 00:06:08,952
a very realistic sex doll.
162
00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:11,488
And we're celebrating that?
163
00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:13,389
Really?
164
00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:15,758
Yes. Jared, yes!
165
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:18,695
That was the best Spider-Man. Yeah!
166
00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:20,096
Someone's mood has improved.
167
00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:21,698
Yeah, I had a couple pudding cups.
168
00:06:21,732 --> 00:06:24,200
That's a very cool blouse.
169
00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:27,737
Wait, that was just a heart.
170
00:06:27,771 --> 00:06:29,305
And now it's a soccer ball?
171
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,241
Are you kidding me, Chloe R.?
172
00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:33,176
Did you... Oh, yeah.
173
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,477
Okay, let's just get this over with.
174
00:06:34,512 --> 00:06:36,012
Okay, everybody.
175
00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:39,516
Sir, sir, remember. Don't eat.
176
00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:41,518
Whisper, whisper, whisper.
177
00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:43,219
So "meatless Mondays" on three!
178
00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:45,054
One, two...
179
00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:47,257
Oh my God, what is he doing?
180
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,459
Is he rolling it up, tip to crust?
181
00:06:49,516 --> 00:06:51,008
No, no, please don't eat it.
182
00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:52,462
Don't eat it, don't eat it!
183
00:06:52,463 --> 00:06:55,180
- Don't eat it! Oh!
- Oh!
184
00:06:55,318 --> 00:06:56,918
Sir.
185
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,471
Meatless Monday.
186
00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:03,721
I have so much food in my mouth.
187
00:07:03,746 --> 00:07:05,053
I couldn't say it.
188
00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:08,201
Shoot. Looks like we're out of tape.
189
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,763
This tends to happen towardss
gthe end of the fiscal year.
190
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,248
We run out of tape?
191
00:07:12,273 --> 00:07:13,666
City government, boss.
192
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,502
It ain't Google
with their free breakfasts
193
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:20,039
and meditation rooms,
and all the tape in the world.
194
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,041
Well, I guess we could go buy some.
195
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,677
Or we make like government workers
196
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,178
and get resourceful.
197
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,780
This is an opportunity for you to learn
198
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,949
how things get done around here, ma'am.
199
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,550
Let me show you the ropes.
200
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,220
Well, I don't want
to waste your whole day.
201
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,921
Waste? Hey, I'm here to help you.
202
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,257
And I know a guy
who might just have some tape.
203
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,260
Double sided. The good stuff.
204
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:44,196
I'm not sure why you think
I'd have double-sided tape.
205
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,032
I'm just a normal guy.
206
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,536
Well, sorry to waste your time, Herb.
207
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,971
Let's go, Ms. Shaw.
208
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,774
However, perhaps I could find some.
209
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,110
I don't know where,
just off the top of my head.
210
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,414
I mean, not there. What?
211
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,250
But you need to do me a favor first.
212
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,810
I'm not letting you draw me again.
213
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:09,188
My council parking
placard was revoked recently.
214
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,523
Yes, I parked at a fire hydrant
215
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,458
so I could run into the drugstore,
216
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,628
but that's only because
if my mistress gets pregnant,
217
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,830
that would affect my work for the city.
218
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,732
Preaching to the choir, Councilman.
219
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:23,736
So if you could arrange
for the return of my placard,
220
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,038
I might just be able to secure
221
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,841
some very sticky tape for you.
222
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:33,012
We've been meme'd. Hard.
223
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,448
You just got a targeted ad
for a pillow with a heartbeat?
224
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,716
Okay, that's private, Tommy.
225
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,484
Well, do you think I wanted to see it?
226
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,386
You guys, I'm loving the banter.
227
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,988
Sir, why did you do that with the pizza?
228
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,191
Why are you guys so serious?
229
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,393
I'm in a good mood now.
230
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,596
- Oh my God.
- Wink.
231
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,398
Wait, Mr. Mayor,
back at the weed dispensary...
232
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,801
I got a bear. Then I ate a bear.
233
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,872
Hey, I just want to say,
it was really cool
234
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,442
meeting someone as tall as you,
so feel free to partake.
235
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,044
I haven't smoked in years.
236
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,880
You don't have to smoke, man.
237
00:09:07,906 --> 00:09:10,311
They're edibles, you just eat them.
238
00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:12,610
An hour later, you'll forget
all about the backstabbing
239
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,553
in the unicycle community.
240
00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:18,500
It would've been rude if I'd said no.
241
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,626
But you didn't need
to actually eat one of them.
242
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,261
Yes, I did.
243
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:25,665
'Cause you guys keep dragging
me all over town for nothing.
244
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,166
So yeah.
245
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,735
Oh, come on.
It was just a couple of bears.
246
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,537
Whoever got hurt by bears?
247
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,139
Well, when my aunt was having her
248
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,974
last-ever period,
she went to the woods...
249
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,243
Sir, what do you mean,
a couple of bears?
250
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,412
Shh-shh, Tommy will get mad.
251
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,249
Oh wait, I just... I did that...
252
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:47,687
It's funny you ask about placards, Arpi.
253
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,389
Because my brother-in-law
is the DOT liaison
254
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,225
with the L.A.P.D.
traffic coordination section.
255
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,795
Huh. What do you know?
256
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:59,031
And hey, if there's anything
the chief of staff
257
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,167
and I can do in return...
258
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,102
Look, the mayor's office
259
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,104
issues an official proclamation
260
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,239
for pretty much every day of the year.
261
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,441
Yes, sir, today I believe
262
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,110
is Ugly Nanny Day here in Los Angeles.
263
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,012
Well, my twin daughters...
264
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,281
Cameron and Sophie. Lovely girls.
265
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,483
Well, thank you. They turn 16 in May.
266
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,186
My ex-wife's new husband
works for Disney.
267
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,855
So every birthday,
I get my ass handed to me.
268
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,424
Last year, they got to melt Olaf.
269
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,992
Divorce is toughest on the dads.
270
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,662
But this year, I'm going to bury Kevin.
271
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,430
I want the twins' birthdays,
272
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,266
May 5th, to be declared
Sophie and Cameron Higbee day.
273
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,302
Well, that's something
274
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,804
the mayor's office
would have to approve.
275
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,573
Absolutely.
276
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,375
Arpi, why don't we spend the afternoon
277
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,177
getting the proc language just right.
278
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,546
Frank, tell us about your daughters.
279
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,148
Wonderful.
280
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,384
For starters,
the divorce was their fault.
281
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,586
That's one hell of a proclamation.
282
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:57,523
Now, let's get the mayor's
Jane Hancock on this.
283
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,892
Feminism.
284
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,627
Look, I don't want this to take
285
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,897
any longer than it needs to,
but before we use the AutoPen,
286
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,899
I should probably call the mayor.
287
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,135
Sure thing. Due diligence.
288
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,370
I'll just be over here
doing my stretches.
289
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,177
Guys, guys, guys.
It's Mikaela from work.
290
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,813
Act like we're not high.
291
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,182
- Hello, Officer.
- Sir, it's Mikaela.
292
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,518
I just wanted to let you
know that Arpi and I...
293
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,187
- Hello, sir.
- Have been together all day...
294
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,555
Haven't even bathroomed.
295
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,223
And right now, we were wondering
296
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,826
if we can maybe use the AutoPen to make
297
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,629
next May 5th Sophie
and Cameron Higbee Day?
298
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:39,865
That sounds amazing.
Hey. We should meet up.
299
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,368
Wherever we are in our lives,
we should be together
300
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,137
for Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day.
301
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,173
Okay? Love you.
302
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,446
Sir, maybe we should go ahead
and cancel our next stop.
303
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,382
No, no, no, come on.
Look at me. I can maintain.
304
00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,753
I've been maintaining
on real pot since...
305
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,221
since before your parents
306
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,789
even thought about having a child.
307
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,325
Thought about? I was an accident, sir.
308
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,660
Mr. Mayor, I'm not a drug expert.
309
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,296
But according to a "Fresh Air"
interview with Calvin Broadus,
310
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:14,233
aka Snoop Dogg, quote,
"That bleep be strong now.
311
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:17,169
Your body be like, what?
That bleep go hard."
312
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,904
It's not like it was in the '70s, sir.
313
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,473
Tommy, I'm good.
314
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,975
I'm actually enjoying
this boring pointless day now.
315
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,377
In fact, what's next on my schedule?
316
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,714
Opening a community center.
That's going to be fun.
317
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,817
Really. Pot almost never
makes me paranoid.
318
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,420
And helping Mayor Bremer
cut the ribbon today,
319
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,623
the L.A. King's mascot, Bailey the Lion.
320
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,161
What the hell is that thing?
321
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,264
It can fly?
322
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,002
Get the... get... He's got two swords.
323
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,906
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no, no...
324
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,941
Fly back to hell!
325
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,946
What? What are you looking at?
326
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,414
No!
327
00:13:03,361 --> 00:13:06,395
May 5, 2021 is now officially
328
00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:08,793
Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day.
329
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,490
Now, the one little hiccup
330
00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:14,233
is that May 5th is also Cinco de Mayo.
331
00:13:14,258 --> 00:13:16,866
And the Mexican community
understandably expects
332
00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:19,799
the proclamation for that day
to be honoring them.
333
00:13:19,838 --> 00:13:20,971
I see.
334
00:13:21,006 --> 00:13:23,736
So if the girls are going
to get their proclamation...
335
00:13:23,791 --> 00:13:25,376
We have to move Cinco de Mayo.
336
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,379
Sounds time consuming
and probably impossible.
337
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,047
Let's do it.
338
00:13:30,081 --> 00:13:32,349
That's the City Hall spirit.
339
00:13:32,384 --> 00:13:33,617
Andale!
340
00:13:34,686 --> 00:13:38,389
You want me to move Cinco de Mayo.
341
00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:40,357
Ocho de Mayo is wide open, Maria.
342
00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:43,661
Look, I would be willing
343
00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:46,297
to make some calls on your behalf, if...
344
00:13:46,331 --> 00:13:49,200
Ah! I love that word. Go on.
345
00:13:50,068 --> 00:13:52,736
Are you aware of
the bathroom situation up here?
346
00:13:52,771 --> 00:13:55,506
Besides me, this floor houses
the Mayor's Commission
347
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,241
on Gender Equity and Brunch,
348
00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:59,543
the Health Department's Office
for Yogurt Safety,
349
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,413
and someone rented space
to an Ann Taylor Loft.
350
00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:05,783
It's all women. With one bathroom.
351
00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:08,853
I can't take it.
352
00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:11,422
Sometimes people just leave
their tights in there.
353
00:14:11,456 --> 00:14:14,959
Why? What happened to them?
354
00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:19,864
I think we can help you, Councilwoman.
355
00:14:49,461 --> 00:14:53,364
Let's see. Tape, right?
Do I have any tape?
356
00:14:54,299 --> 00:14:57,668
Tape. Tape, tape.
357
00:14:57,702 --> 00:14:59,336
That's not tape.
358
00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:04,074
Tape, tape... here we go.
359
00:15:04,109 --> 00:15:06,911
Regular old tape.
360
00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:19,924
Why is the sun following us?
361
00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:21,392
This is bad.
362
00:15:21,426 --> 00:15:23,561
We cannot cancel our next meeting.
363
00:15:23,595 --> 00:15:25,529
It's a work safety forum with local 300,
364
00:15:25,564 --> 00:15:27,631
and you do not stand up
the construction unions.
365
00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:28,966
But the good news, sir,
366
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,568
is at least your current state of mind
367
00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:32,002
is appropriate for this.
368
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,672
All you really need to do
is listen and act concerned.
369
00:15:34,706 --> 00:15:37,675
I am concerned. About everything.
370
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:40,844
I mean, this dumb day
should have been easy as pie.
371
00:15:40,879 --> 00:15:44,289
But everything's all goofed. Goofed.
372
00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,016
Okay, let's use that.
373
00:15:46,059 --> 00:15:47,893
Let's say I'm a construction worker.
374
00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:49,520
And I'm telling you how worried I am
375
00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:52,356
about unsafe scaffolding
around business sites.
376
00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:55,059
Oh, that's awful. Those poor sites.
377
00:15:55,093 --> 00:15:55,893
Oh, good, good, good.
378
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:58,596
It's my turn. It's Bob's birthday.
379
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:00,331
While he helps Farmer Pickles,
380
00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:02,232
let's plan a surprise party.
381
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,701
Was that Bob the Builder?
382
00:16:03,735 --> 00:16:04,969
I'm just doing what you're doing.
383
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:07,671
Oh, God I forgot Bob's birthday.
384
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,710
This is all very concerning.
385
00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:15,079
I do not like this.
386
00:16:15,113 --> 00:16:19,550
Oh, you poor, poor man. Are you Bob?
387
00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:21,218
- My name is Manny Petty, sir.
- Oh.
388
00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:22,553
I was working
with unlabeled chemicals...
389
00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:25,055
- Your name is what?
- Manny Petty.
390
00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:27,157
My hands and feet got
burned when I was working...
391
00:16:30,028 --> 00:16:32,529
Of course, your hands and feet...
392
00:16:33,665 --> 00:16:35,265
You're Manny Petty!
393
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:39,203
Hey, his name is Manny Petty.
394
00:16:39,237 --> 00:16:40,738
And look what got hurt!
395
00:16:40,772 --> 00:16:42,773
Oh, my God, you're so funny.
396
00:16:48,823 --> 00:16:51,757
Looking good. We did it, boss.
397
00:16:51,854 --> 00:16:53,888
Yeah, but I feel bad.
398
00:16:53,986 --> 00:16:55,353
I wasted your whole day on this.
399
00:16:55,454 --> 00:16:58,856
How much do you charge
for babysitting anyway?
400
00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,564
I'm sorry, what?
401
00:17:00,589 --> 00:17:02,486
You babysat me all day.
That was your job, right?
402
00:17:02,517 --> 00:17:04,661
I-I...
403
00:17:04,695 --> 00:17:06,529
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
404
00:17:06,564 --> 00:17:08,031
Oh, save it.
405
00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,466
If the mayor didn't
ask you to keep an eye on me,
406
00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,802
he's even dumber than I thought.
407
00:17:12,836 --> 00:17:15,338
Fine. Well, it worked, didn't it?
408
00:17:15,372 --> 00:17:18,341
I kept you busy all day.
409
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,742
Is that what you think happened?
410
00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:22,245
- Mm-hmm.
- That's real cute.
411
00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:26,449
'Cause all anyone else saw was
me helping the chief of staff,
412
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:27,984
the woman who speaks for the mayor.
413
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:29,052
Mm-hmm.
414
00:17:29,086 --> 00:17:31,254
And since Arpi Meskimen
does not waste her time,
415
00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:33,690
they know I'm getting
something in return.
416
00:17:33,724 --> 00:17:36,993
What have I been trying
to make happen for months?
417
00:17:51,342 --> 00:17:52,809
PPPORN.
418
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:53,977
Wait, so you're telling me
419
00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:55,778
that everyone we talked to today,
420
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:58,247
they all think that
the mayor supports PPPORN?
421
00:17:58,282 --> 00:18:00,583
Herb, Frank, Maria.
They were the three hold-outs
422
00:18:00,618 --> 00:18:02,852
keeping PPPORN from passing the council,
423
00:18:02,886 --> 00:18:05,088
but all three have pledged their support
424
00:18:05,122 --> 00:18:07,924
now that the mayor
is so obviously onboard.
425
00:18:07,958 --> 00:18:11,094
Now who's the baby, Ms. Shaw?
426
00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:14,097
Yeah. You going to want
to say goo-goo-gah-gah.
427
00:18:14,131 --> 00:18:15,932
I'll tell the mayor.
428
00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:17,300
Let's think about that for a second.
429
00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:20,236
You're gonna tell your boss
that the first time
430
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:23,906
he left you alone here,
you got played like a garawon?
431
00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,810
That's a traditional Honduran
drum I play at night to relax.
432
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:30,113
Look, it's not so bad.
433
00:18:30,147 --> 00:18:32,882
PPPORN is the right thing to do.
434
00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:35,785
- Oh.
- Take the win.
435
00:18:35,819 --> 00:18:38,021
Go home. Open a bag of wine.
436
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:41,557
And wake up, ready for another big day.
437
00:18:42,926 --> 00:18:44,527
I told you this morning
I was going to show you
438
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,729
how things worked around here.
439
00:18:46,764 --> 00:18:48,765
So you're welcome, boss.
440
00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:01,678
- Oh, damn it.
- How was your day, Mr. Mayor?
441
00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:02,879
What are you doing here?
442
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:05,148
You're on my way home.
443
00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:09,052
I head down Highland
before I bike onto the freeway.
444
00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:11,721
Arpi, I've had a rough day.
445
00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:14,991
So I heard.
But all that dumb stuff today?
446
00:19:15,025 --> 00:19:17,160
People showed up 'cause
you were going to be there.
447
00:19:17,194 --> 00:19:19,829
And I made Manny Petty's wife cry.
448
00:19:19,863 --> 00:19:21,130
Manny Petty?
449
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:22,665
- Mm.
- That's hilarious.
450
00:19:25,202 --> 00:19:27,804
I get it, I get it.
451
00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:30,173
I just want to do all the shiny stuff,
452
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:31,474
be a hero.
453
00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:33,743
But I'm the mayor.
454
00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:38,014
And all that dumb stuff
matters to someone.
455
00:19:39,783 --> 00:19:42,719
Now, those people
456
00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:45,188
are going to be expecting a statement.
457
00:19:45,222 --> 00:19:47,323
And I'm not looking to help you,
458
00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:49,459
but if you don't want to talk about
459
00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:52,328
how you fell into
an open dog grave today...
460
00:19:54,131 --> 00:19:56,132
Mikaela signed off on it.
461
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:58,801
What?
462
00:19:58,836 --> 00:20:00,937
I'm changing the name.
463
00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:05,942
Which is why I'm proud
to announce a new initiative...
464
00:20:05,976 --> 00:20:09,579
Rerouting air traffic for at-risk towns.
465
00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:11,748
Or... RATFART.
466
00:20:11,782 --> 00:20:13,616
Damn it.
467
00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:17,220
Sorry. Sorry.
468
00:20:17,254 --> 00:20:19,188
Stupid, stupid day.
469
00:20:19,223 --> 00:20:21,524
Sir, did you say "rat fart"?
470
00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:26,062
Oh, there you are.
471
00:20:26,096 --> 00:20:29,332
Oh no, please, please don't.
I've had a long day.
472
00:20:31,902 --> 00:20:35,505
You made grilled cheese.
473
00:20:35,539 --> 00:20:36,873
Is this a trap?
474
00:20:36,907 --> 00:20:39,242
No. I feel bad.
475
00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:41,644
They don't get to yell at my dad.
476
00:20:41,678 --> 00:20:44,080
Only I get to yell at my dad.
477
00:20:44,114 --> 00:20:46,449
Works for me.
478
00:20:52,556 --> 00:20:54,490
...after returning home
from Afghanistan,
479
00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:56,492
all Sergeant Cusack wanted to do
480
00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:57,660
was surprise his daughter
481
00:20:57,694 --> 00:20:59,762
dressed as her favorite mascot.
482
00:21:02,299 --> 00:21:04,734
It's okay.
483
00:21:05,736 --> 00:21:08,194
Could I maybe have a glass of wine?
484
00:21:08,257 --> 00:21:13,257
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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