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1
00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:51,118
(BELL TOLLING)
2
00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:55,789
The plane! The plane!
3
00:01:02,165 --> 00:01:03,797
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
4
00:01:22,685 --> 00:01:23,685
Tattoo?
5
00:01:27,623 --> 00:01:29,690
Tattoo? Boss, right here.
6
00:01:31,094 --> 00:01:33,505
Tattoo. Is that really you?
7
00:01:33,529 --> 00:01:35,707
Yes, boss. I really
fooled you, didn't I?
8
00:01:35,731 --> 00:01:37,676
Oh, you certainly did.
9
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:41,646
But may I ask what you are
doing inside a fire hydrant?
10
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:43,282
I'm camouflaged.
11
00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:46,185
Camouflaged? Of course.
12
00:01:46,209 --> 00:01:49,521
But may I ask why you
want to camouflage yourself
13
00:01:49,545 --> 00:01:50,889
as a fire hydrant?
14
00:01:50,913 --> 00:01:52,958
I'm taking a mail order course
15
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,316
on how to become a secret agent.
16
00:01:57,353 --> 00:01:59,164
Secret agent.
17
00:01:59,188 --> 00:02:03,034
Lesson number one: How to
be seen without being seen.
18
00:02:03,058 --> 00:02:05,726
Truly amazing.
19
00:02:07,530 --> 00:02:09,174
You love it, boss. Right?
20
00:02:09,198 --> 00:02:10,809
Wait till you see the others.
21
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:12,444
I've got millions of them.
22
00:02:12,468 --> 00:02:14,546
I can hardly wait.
23
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:18,372
And our guests can't wait
either. So shall we go now?
24
00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:48,335
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
25
00:03:00,716 --> 00:03:03,636
ROARKE: Smiles,
everyone. Smiles.
26
00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:14,773
TATTOO: Mmm, pretty
girls. Who are they, boss?
27
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:17,543
The young lady in the red
blouse is Miss Marge Atkins.
28
00:03:17,567 --> 00:03:22,914
With her is her longtime friend
and roommate, Miss Kathy Wilton.
29
00:03:22,938 --> 00:03:26,718
They work as chocolate dippers in a
candy factory in Louisville, Kentucky.
30
00:03:26,742 --> 00:03:28,141
(CHUCKLING) Sweet job.
31
00:03:29,845 --> 00:03:31,223
What's their fantasy?
32
00:03:31,247 --> 00:03:34,293
One of glamour and
excitement, Tattoo.
33
00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:36,595
For this weekend Miss
Atkins and Miss Wilton
34
00:03:36,619 --> 00:03:40,865
wish to become cheerleaders for
the Louisville Titans football team.
35
00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:43,235
The Titan cheerleaders?
36
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:46,938
Boss, they are some of the
most beautiful girls in the world.
37
00:03:46,962 --> 00:03:48,740
Oh, indeed they are, my friend.
38
00:03:48,764 --> 00:03:51,142
TATTOO: Are they
really here on the island?
39
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,144
ROARKE: Yes.
40
00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:57,482
Hmm, you think Miss Wilton and Miss
Atkins would mind if I showed them around?
41
00:03:57,506 --> 00:04:02,710
Tattoo, a little decorum,
shall we, please? Huh?
42
00:04:03,979 --> 00:04:06,325
Oh, I believe this next
gentleman's fantasy
43
00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:08,126
will also interest you.
44
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:11,830
I wouldn't bet on
it. Cheerleaders.
45
00:04:11,854 --> 00:04:13,798
Mr. Melvyn Mews. A truck driver
46
00:04:13,822 --> 00:04:16,668
who hails all the way
from Wichita, Kansas.
47
00:04:16,692 --> 00:04:20,171
Mr. Mews' fantasy is to
spend this weekend alone
48
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:23,508
with the woman he has
loved for the last 12 years.
49
00:04:23,532 --> 00:04:25,692
What's the big deal about that?
50
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:31,650
The big deal about that is
that she is Miss Liz Merrill.
51
00:04:31,674 --> 00:04:33,952
Otherwise known as the
Hollywood Sex Goddess.
52
00:04:33,976 --> 00:04:37,322
And Miss Merrill doesn't
even know Mr. Mews is alive.
53
00:04:37,346 --> 00:04:39,625
That's what the
big deal about it is.
54
00:04:39,649 --> 00:04:40,925
TATTOO: Liz Merrill?
55
00:04:40,949 --> 00:04:42,060
ROARKE: Yes. Uh-huh.
56
00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:44,763
Boss, she's everyone's fantasy.
57
00:04:44,787 --> 00:04:47,899
She's even better
than 15 cheerleaders.
58
00:04:47,923 --> 00:04:50,402
See?
59
00:04:50,426 --> 00:04:53,639
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
60
00:04:53,663 --> 00:04:55,696
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
61
00:05:27,963 --> 00:05:30,839
Well, how do I look?
62
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,340
Magnifique. Agreed.
63
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:35,506
You, Mr. Mews, look like
a man born to the water.
64
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:37,206
Well, thank you. Thank you.
65
00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:39,872
(CHUCKLING) And thank
you for these swell-looking duds.
66
00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:42,507
But it beats me how
you knew my sizes.
67
00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:46,072
On Fantasy Island,
we know many things.
68
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,028
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
69
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:53,072
Oh, relax, Mr. Mews. Relax.
70
00:05:53,096 --> 00:05:56,307
I'm certain Miss Merrill
will be along momentarily.
71
00:05:56,331 --> 00:06:02,573
Oh, these are the
directions to your destination.
72
00:06:02,597 --> 00:06:05,307
You may open the envelope
two hours after casting off.
73
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:06,674
And not before.
74
00:06:06,698 --> 00:06:10,173
Anything you say,
Mr. Roarke. Two hours?
75
00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:11,440
Yes.
76
00:06:11,464 --> 00:06:12,740
But how do I know
77
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,239
which direction I'm
supposed to be heading?
78
00:06:14,263 --> 00:06:16,507
North or south? Fine.
79
00:06:16,531 --> 00:06:19,106
No, I mean which direction?
80
00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,807
Pick one that pleases you.
I'm sure that it will be fine.
81
00:06:21,831 --> 00:06:24,239
(LAUGHING) Pick the one?
82
00:06:24,263 --> 00:06:26,740
Well, that's kind of
crazy, Mr. Roarke.
83
00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:29,906
I mean, I don't mean
to be disrespectful,
84
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,573
but I'm a truck driver.
85
00:06:32,597 --> 00:06:35,206
And anybody with any
kind of sense knows
86
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,373
that you just don't go
heading out in a direction
87
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,774
unless you know
which way you're going.
88
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,440
I warned you, Mr. Mews,
89
00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:44,640
there will be times, if your
fantasy was to be fulfilled,
90
00:06:44,664 --> 00:06:50,106
when you would have to trust
and obey my instructions implicitly.
91
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:51,907
Or have you forgotten?
92
00:06:51,931 --> 00:06:54,373
Yeah. But what instructions?
93
00:06:54,397 --> 00:06:56,840
I mean you didn't tell
me which way to go.
94
00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:58,161
Boss?
95
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,462
Oh, excuse me.
96
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,107
Ah, the lovely Miss Merrill.
97
00:07:13,131 --> 00:07:15,073
It's so nice to see you again.
98
00:07:15,097 --> 00:07:18,607
May I introduce your
guide, Mr. Melvyn Mews?
99
00:07:18,631 --> 00:07:20,107
How do you do?
100
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:21,873
How do you do, Miss Merrill?
101
00:07:21,897 --> 00:07:23,407
This is a real honor for me.
102
00:07:23,431 --> 00:07:25,274
I've seen every one of
your pictures at least twice.
103
00:07:25,298 --> 00:07:28,107
When you said a boat, I
had no idea you meant a boat.
104
00:07:28,131 --> 00:07:29,840
Oh, I am terribly
sorry, Miss Merrill.
105
00:07:29,864 --> 00:07:33,274
The yacht I had hoped to
provide developed engine trouble.
106
00:07:33,298 --> 00:07:37,274
Although it is a trifle
small, I must admit,
107
00:07:37,298 --> 00:07:40,707
I am certain that this vessel will
get you to your destination safely.
108
00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:43,674
But a star of my international
stature can hardly be...
109
00:07:43,698 --> 00:07:45,440
Dickens.
110
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:49,707
Can't you be more careful?
That wig cost me a bloody fortune.
111
00:07:49,731 --> 00:07:52,774
Servants. Servants.
They're just not making...
112
00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:55,540
She sounds like she got out
on the wrong side of the bed.
113
00:07:55,564 --> 00:07:57,508
Possibly. Possibly.
114
00:07:57,532 --> 00:08:01,107
Well, Mr. Mews, now that you
have met the girl of your dreams,
115
00:08:01,131 --> 00:08:02,370
what do you think?
116
00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:09,707
She looks a little
different up closer.
117
00:08:09,731 --> 00:08:11,408
Really? In what way?
118
00:08:11,432 --> 00:08:14,508
Well, she's kind of older.
119
00:08:14,532 --> 00:08:16,308
You want to change places?
120
00:08:16,332 --> 00:08:18,541
No, no, no. Don't get me wrong.
121
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:21,995
I still think that she's the
greatest woman I ever saw.
122
00:08:23,298 --> 00:08:24,308
Well, when do we leave?
123
00:08:24,332 --> 00:08:25,574
Immediately, if you wish.
124
00:08:25,598 --> 00:08:27,463
MERRILL: Yes, I
certainly do. Mr. Mews.
125
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:32,663
Miss Merrill?
126
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:39,630
Why don't you sit
right there, Miss Merrill?
127
00:08:42,298 --> 00:08:43,663
Right there.
128
00:08:47,765 --> 00:08:50,408
I'm just glad my fans
can't see me now.
129
00:08:50,432 --> 00:08:52,675
Yes. Well...
130
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,730
Cast off!
131
00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,007
(ENGINE STARTING)
132
00:09:04,031 --> 00:09:05,930
Well, bon voyage.
133
00:09:13,665 --> 00:09:16,008
She's not a very pleasant woman.
134
00:09:16,032 --> 00:09:18,408
I don't think it's what
Mr. Mews expected.
135
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:21,675
I doubt if this
weekend is going to be
136
00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:23,963
what either of our
guests had expected.
137
00:09:29,498 --> 00:09:32,963
CHEERLEADER:
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
138
00:09:36,098 --> 00:09:37,296
(MEN GRUNTING)
139
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:40,908
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
140
00:09:40,932 --> 00:09:44,697
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
141
00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:52,941
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
142
00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:56,974
Turn, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
143
00:09:56,998 --> 00:10:01,342
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
144
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:03,309
Do me a favor, will you, Kathy?
145
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:04,409
Sure. What?
146
00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:07,541
Pinch me to make sure I'm awake.
147
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:11,475
Pinch yourself. I'm
fresh out of hands.
148
00:10:11,499 --> 00:10:15,297
Perfecto! That's
all for the day, girls.
149
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,497
ALDEN: Here we go.
150
00:10:19,665 --> 00:10:21,509
(EXHALES)
151
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:25,230
If only the folks back in
Louisville could see us now.
152
00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,830
Marge, look out.
153
00:10:29,832 --> 00:10:31,996
Way to go.
154
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:34,874
May I have the ball?
155
00:10:34,898 --> 00:10:36,708
Huh? The ball.
156
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:38,397
(CHUCKLES) The ball.
157
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,708
Thanks.
158
00:10:41,732 --> 00:10:43,676
If you ever get tired
of being a cheerleader,
159
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,978
we can always use
another wide receiver.
160
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,642
Kathy, you know who that was?
161
00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:52,542
Roger Mosely.
162
00:10:52,566 --> 00:10:55,208
The Roger Mosely.
163
00:10:55,232 --> 00:10:59,309
And he talked to
me. Right at me.
164
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,874
It was the only way
to get his ball back.
165
00:11:01,898 --> 00:11:05,875
Ten to one odds, Mosely gets
traded before the season opener.
166
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,241
How do you figure that?
167
00:11:07,265 --> 00:11:10,809
I figure that because
his passing game stinks.
168
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:12,309
That's your opinion.
169
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,375
Also the coach's opinion.
170
00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:17,096
I got it straight from
the horse's mouth.
171
00:11:18,866 --> 00:11:21,842
Excuse me, ladies. I saw
you talking to my quarterback.
172
00:11:21,866 --> 00:11:23,676
I hope that doesn't
happen again.
173
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:24,842
What do you mean?
174
00:11:24,866 --> 00:11:26,409
What do I mean?
175
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:28,776
Weren't you warned about
my non-fraternization policy?
176
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,108
Look, I got a football team
177
00:11:31,132 --> 00:11:32,542
to get ready for
the season opener.
178
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,042
I don't want these men
thinking about anything
179
00:11:34,066 --> 00:11:35,208
except football, you understand?
180
00:11:35,232 --> 00:11:36,809
Cheerleaders are not allowed
181
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,342
to fraternize with your players?
182
00:11:38,366 --> 00:11:40,342
You're not even
allowed to talk to them.
183
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,197
Get caught and you're out.
184
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:48,875
Just when I was beginning
to enjoy my fantasy.
185
00:11:48,899 --> 00:11:50,809
What are you talking about?
186
00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:54,776
Roger Mosely. I
can't even talk to him.
187
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,942
So?
188
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,642
You promise not to tell?
189
00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:03,075
I've had a crush on Roger
Mosely since he played in college.
190
00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:05,575
But, Marge, you have a crush
191
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,842
on half the football players
and movie stars in the world.
192
00:12:08,866 --> 00:12:11,609
Well, it's different with Roger.
193
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:14,242
Now the only two days I
have to be close to him,
194
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,742
I can't even talk to him.
195
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:18,776
But, Marge, did you see the
way Mrs. Hoight was looking at us?
196
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,343
I think maybe we have a
chance to be cheerleaders
197
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:23,410
even after our fantasy.
198
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:27,776
And maybe Coach Alden will relax
some of his rules once the season starts.
199
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,575
But even if he does...
200
00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:32,875
Even if we do make it as
cheerleaders, by then it'll be too late.
201
00:12:32,899 --> 00:12:35,365
Roger'll have been
traded to Buffalo.
202
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:42,609
MEWS: As far as I'm concerned,
203
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:46,109
Loving at Dusk is the greatest
movie that you ever made.
204
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:50,242
I watch that on the late
TV show all the time.
205
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,476
You know, I'll never
forget that scene where
206
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,343
that weird congressman
trapped you in his office.
207
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,942
What was it you said to him?
208
00:12:56,966 --> 00:13:01,343
You said, "I thought
you were a conservative."
209
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:02,498
(LAUGHING)
210
00:13:03,899 --> 00:13:06,410
That one really put me away.
211
00:13:06,434 --> 00:13:08,610
How come you never
won the old Oscar?
212
00:13:08,634 --> 00:13:13,510
I mean, I would've given it to
you in a flash for Isbanicci Lady.
213
00:13:13,534 --> 00:13:16,242
Boy, the way you play the fallen
lady, that was really something.
214
00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:22,543
Miss Merrill, this is really an honor
for me to be here alone with you.
215
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,443
Is it all right if
I call you Liz?
216
00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:28,298
"Miss Merrill" will do
just fine, thank you.
217
00:13:29,867 --> 00:13:31,705
Anything you say, Miss Merrill.
218
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,777
(HUFFING) Oh, honestly.
219
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,543
I should've held out for a yacht
220
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:43,398
instead of this motorized kayak.
221
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:47,176
What did you say your name is?
222
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,610
Mews. Melvyn Mews.
223
00:13:49,634 --> 00:13:54,810
Well, Mr. Melvyn Mews, as the
alleged skipper of this alleged boat,
224
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,209
I would like to
lodge a complaint...
225
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,110
Several complaints,
as a matter of fact.
226
00:13:58,134 --> 00:14:00,276
First, this boat is too small.
227
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:04,310
And second, that sun up there is
causing me to break out in freckles.
228
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:07,143
Third, I have an
overwhelming thirst
229
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,543
for a ridiculously dry martini.
230
00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:12,132
I never thought to
bring any liquor aboard.
231
00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:16,843
When do we reach
our destination?
232
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:19,010
Oh, I don't know.
233
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:23,476
Mr. Roarke gave me this envelope
234
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,343
with sealed instructions inside.
235
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:28,311
Sealed inside?
236
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,876
Well, open it, man. Open it.
237
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:35,143
Oh, no, no. Mr. Roarke told me
not to open it for a full two hours.
238
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,632
Okay. So I promise not to
turn informant. Now open it.
239
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,411
Well, what does it say?
240
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:54,511
(STAMMERING)
There's nothing. It's blank.
241
00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:56,377
You don't know
where we're going?
242
00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:58,511
Mr. Roarke must
have made a mistake.
243
00:14:58,535 --> 00:15:00,743
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
244
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:01,767
Now what?
245
00:15:10,301 --> 00:15:11,832
We're out of gas.
246
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:15,210
Well, put some
more in, you idiot.
247
00:15:15,234 --> 00:15:16,943
I don't think there is any more.
248
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:19,143
What do you mean, you don't
think there's any more around?
249
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,810
There's got to be
some more around.
250
00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:23,444
We can't be stranded out here.
251
00:15:23,468 --> 00:15:26,032
Mr. Roarke wouldn't
dare do such a thing to me.
252
00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,165
Would he?
253
00:15:39,934 --> 00:15:41,666
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
254
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,344
You know something, Kathy?
255
00:15:49,368 --> 00:15:53,311
That sportswriter who said Roger's
passing game stinks is absolutely right.
256
00:15:53,335 --> 00:15:55,744
He is throwing all wrong.
257
00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:57,177
What are you talking about?
258
00:15:57,201 --> 00:16:00,210
Well, take a good look.
Roger's throwing side armed.
259
00:16:00,234 --> 00:16:02,277
And he's only taking
three steps back.
260
00:16:02,301 --> 00:16:04,511
I see what you
mean. But so what?
261
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:06,544
Well, I told you I
watched him since college.
262
00:16:06,568 --> 00:16:07,944
And when he played his best,
263
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:11,277
he always took five steps
back and threw over the top.
264
00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:13,544
(GRUNTING)
265
00:16:13,568 --> 00:16:15,011
(SIGHING) Oh, well.
266
00:16:15,035 --> 00:16:17,344
I guess I can always quit my job
267
00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:19,844
and move to Buffalo
when Roger gets traded.
268
00:16:19,868 --> 00:16:23,411
Buffalo? What about
me? I'm your roommate.
269
00:16:23,435 --> 00:16:27,678
Well, I know. But I
can't abandon Roger.
270
00:16:27,702 --> 00:16:29,944
A gal's gotta do
what she's gotta do.
271
00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:32,299
Maybe there's another way.
272
00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:39,044
You have a very devious
look in your eye, Kathy Wilton.
273
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:43,033
I have more than that.
I have a devious idea.
274
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:51,433
KATHY: Come on. Do as I do.
275
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:10,178
MARGE: How long do you think
we're gonna get away with this?
276
00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:13,378
Just long enough for you
to talk to Roger Mosely.
277
00:17:13,402 --> 00:17:15,445
I hope.
278
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,534
Let's try the tackling dummy.
279
00:17:20,901 --> 00:17:24,778
MERRILL: You're sure you don't
know anything about our destination?
280
00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:26,744
MEWS: I'm sorry, Miss Merrill.
281
00:17:26,768 --> 00:17:28,378
Well, how about my fantasy?
282
00:17:28,402 --> 00:17:30,478
Did Mr. Roarke say
anything about that?
283
00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:32,378
I don't... No!
284
00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:35,111
What is your fantasy?
285
00:17:35,135 --> 00:17:38,778
(SIGHING) What
have I got to lose?
286
00:17:38,802 --> 00:17:40,545
To begin at the beginning.
287
00:17:40,569 --> 00:17:43,178
My newest picture just was
released in New York City.
288
00:17:43,202 --> 00:17:46,977
Yeah. Bawdy House Blues.
289
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:49,011
Oh, sounds like a real winner.
290
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,445
Well, for your
information, it's a real loser.
291
00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,478
People are staying
away in droves.
292
00:17:53,502 --> 00:17:54,944
Of course, it's not my fault.
293
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:58,244
The picture was edited
and scored entirely wrong.
294
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:00,478
I kept telling the studio,
but they wouldn't listen.
295
00:18:00,502 --> 00:18:04,845
And your fantasy is to make
Bawdy House Blues a hit, huh?
296
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:07,312
In a manner of speaking, yes.
297
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:11,412
To be precise, my fantasy is to
be marooned on a deserted island.
298
00:18:11,436 --> 00:18:12,945
But why?
299
00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:14,845
Publicity, you idiot. Why else?
300
00:18:14,869 --> 00:18:18,178
Once my disappearance
creates international headlines,
301
00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:21,512
my loyal fans will
flock to the box office.
302
00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:26,099
And I'll be spared the indignity of
starring in another cinematic bomb.
303
00:18:27,703 --> 00:18:31,345
Four duds in a row, thanks
to Monument Pictures.
304
00:18:31,369 --> 00:18:34,278
Well, can't you do something?
305
00:18:34,302 --> 00:18:37,412
I'm doing the best
I can, Miss Merrill.
306
00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:40,211
What are you complaining about?
307
00:18:40,235 --> 00:18:42,400
You're about as
marooned as you can get.
308
00:18:47,969 --> 00:18:49,167
ROARKE: Tattoo?
309
00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:54,612
Tattoo?
310
00:18:54,636 --> 00:18:56,500
TATTOO: This way, boss!
311
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:01,112
Tattoo?
312
00:19:01,136 --> 00:19:03,301
Right here, in the haystack.
313
00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:07,845
What the...
314
00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:12,912
Ah. Yes, of course.
Another camouflage, right?
315
00:19:12,936 --> 00:19:14,978
Right, boss. How do you like it?
316
00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:18,745
Tattoo, it's
absolutely terrible.
317
00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:20,945
That disguise
wouldn't fool anyone.
318
00:19:20,969 --> 00:19:23,067
(COW MOOING)
319
00:19:26,002 --> 00:19:28,679
Well, at least no one
with any intelligence.
320
00:19:28,703 --> 00:19:30,978
(MOO)
321
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:33,234
Oh, boss, what
do I do now? Help!
322
00:19:34,503 --> 00:19:36,335
Au secours! Help!
323
00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,167
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
324
00:19:56,603 --> 00:19:59,680
That thing must be
made out of solid lead.
325
00:19:59,704 --> 00:20:02,912
I think we'd better
get out of here, Marge.
326
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,513
The coach is looking this way.
327
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,479
But we've come too
far to turn back now.
328
00:20:07,503 --> 00:20:08,978
Go. Go. Let's go. Ready?
329
00:20:09,002 --> 00:20:11,680
If only I could get
Roger's attention.
330
00:20:11,704 --> 00:20:13,912
Set. Go, go.
331
00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:15,601
(WHISTLING)
332
00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:23,613
Perkosky, get up.
333
00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:25,212
What in the name
of Mean Joe Greene
334
00:20:25,236 --> 00:20:26,813
do you think you're doing?
335
00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:28,479
I've only been doing
what you told me to do.
336
00:20:28,503 --> 00:20:29,513
Kill the quarterback.
337
00:20:29,537 --> 00:20:31,579
Not our quarterback, meathead.
338
00:20:31,603 --> 00:20:34,245
Theirs! What is it?
339
00:20:34,269 --> 00:20:37,179
It's bad. It could
be my knee again.
340
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,446
All right. Get the trainer.
341
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,401
Who did it? All
right, who whistled?
342
00:20:51,804 --> 00:20:53,813
Well, I never expected this.
343
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:57,846
And how I allowed myself to become
part of this Mickey Mouse expedition,
344
00:20:57,870 --> 00:20:59,646
I'll never know.
345
00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:00,879
I thought it was for publicity.
346
00:21:00,903 --> 00:21:02,035
Who asked you?
347
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,613
Where are we?
348
00:21:13,637 --> 00:21:15,313
In the middle of the ocean.
349
00:21:15,337 --> 00:21:16,913
I can see that.
350
00:21:16,937 --> 00:21:19,079
MEWS: Oh, great.
I lost the compass.
351
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,713
I suppose it's my fault!
352
00:21:21,737 --> 00:21:22,968
(EXCLAIMS)
353
00:21:26,237 --> 00:21:28,035
(GASPING)
354
00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,213
Funny. Very funny.
355
00:21:34,237 --> 00:21:36,746
You picked a great
time to go for a swim.
356
00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:39,913
Well, don't just swim
there. Do something.
357
00:21:39,937 --> 00:21:41,646
I am gonna do something.
358
00:21:41,670 --> 00:21:46,280
What? Something I
would've bet my life on
359
00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:48,879
I would never have
done four hours ago,
360
00:21:48,903 --> 00:21:50,901
and that's to tell
you to shut up!
361
00:21:58,204 --> 00:21:59,746
MEWS: Land ahoy!
362
00:21:59,770 --> 00:22:01,813
MERRILL: Thank goodness.
I thought I was doomed.
363
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:02,846
(BOTH SCREAMING)
364
00:22:02,870 --> 00:22:04,135
MERRILL: I'm drowning!
365
00:22:05,504 --> 00:22:08,180
Oh, hold on to me!
366
00:22:08,204 --> 00:22:10,913
The least you could
do is carry me ashore.
367
00:22:10,937 --> 00:22:14,879
I know. But that would eliminate
the possibility of you drowning.
368
00:22:14,903 --> 00:22:16,935
(COUGHING)
369
00:22:44,070 --> 00:22:47,046
MEWS: I wonder if this is what
Mr. Roarke has in mind for you.
370
00:22:47,070 --> 00:22:48,480
MERRILL: Of course not.
371
00:22:48,504 --> 00:22:49,781
He said I'd be met
372
00:22:49,805 --> 00:22:52,180
by a retinue of servants
with ground transportation.
373
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:55,514
Yoo-hoo! We're here!
374
00:22:55,538 --> 00:22:58,636
Hello!
375
00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:03,180
Well, they're late
getting here, I guess.
376
00:23:03,204 --> 00:23:05,414
But while we're waiting,
377
00:23:05,438 --> 00:23:07,880
you can help me
get the boat back.
378
00:23:07,904 --> 00:23:10,936
Oh, my... No.
379
00:23:14,104 --> 00:23:18,014
You know what, Melvyn? I
truly wish you worked for me.
380
00:23:18,038 --> 00:23:19,280
Why?
381
00:23:19,304 --> 00:23:21,969
So I could fire you on the spot.
382
00:23:44,604 --> 00:23:47,714
MARGE: I've had a crush
on Roger since college.
383
00:23:47,738 --> 00:23:50,847
And now it's my
fault he got hurt.
384
00:23:50,871 --> 00:23:51,947
WOMAN ON PA:
Dr. Vejar, pick up Line 3.
385
00:23:51,971 --> 00:23:53,547
(MUTTERING)
386
00:23:53,571 --> 00:23:54,747
Dr. Vejar, pick up Line 3.
387
00:23:54,771 --> 00:23:57,714
It must be down that way.
388
00:23:57,738 --> 00:23:58,936
(CHUCKLES)
389
00:24:05,305 --> 00:24:07,381
Okay. Now, you keep her busy
390
00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:10,348
just long enough for me
to get into Roger's room.
391
00:24:10,372 --> 00:24:12,448
Hello.
392
00:24:12,472 --> 00:24:13,580
Maru.
393
00:24:13,604 --> 00:24:16,014
I saw you at practice.
394
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:19,381
Maru? What does Maru mean?
395
00:24:19,405 --> 00:24:21,080
Isn't that the name
of a Japanese ship?
396
00:24:21,104 --> 00:24:24,947
No, no, no, no,
no. I kick. Kick.
397
00:24:24,971 --> 00:24:26,637
Uh...
398
00:24:29,372 --> 00:24:31,315
kick.
399
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:34,281
Maru Yprios. Oh, sure.
400
00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:38,715
He's the place kicker the Titans
just brought over from Cyprus.
401
00:24:38,739 --> 00:24:41,503
Well, ¿Cómo está?
402
00:24:43,038 --> 00:24:46,415
Oh, but we have to get
out of here, Maru. Ciao.
403
00:24:46,439 --> 00:24:49,914
You smile at me.
Means you like me.
404
00:24:49,938 --> 00:24:51,247
(LAUGHING)
405
00:24:51,271 --> 00:24:54,348
I am very fond
of you, too, also.
406
00:24:54,372 --> 00:24:55,804
Come. Come.
407
00:25:05,472 --> 00:25:07,548
Hi. ROGER: Hi.
408
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,581
I'm Kathy Wilton.
409
00:25:09,605 --> 00:25:11,181
A Titan cheerleader.
410
00:25:11,205 --> 00:25:14,114
Then you know? Sure.
I saw you at practice.
411
00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:16,014
You and the other cheerleaders.
412
00:25:16,038 --> 00:25:18,015
Is someone following
you? Why do you ask?
413
00:25:18,039 --> 00:25:19,415
The way you're acting.
414
00:25:19,439 --> 00:25:22,848
Well, I'm sort of
nervous about something.
415
00:25:22,872 --> 00:25:25,080
Like that whistle you
heard on the field.
416
00:25:25,104 --> 00:25:27,315
You? Oh, no.
417
00:25:27,339 --> 00:25:28,948
A friend of mine.
Her name is Marge.
418
00:25:28,972 --> 00:25:31,381
She wants you to know she's
awfully sorry about your knee.
419
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:34,815
You know, your friend just may
have done me a big favor by whistling.
420
00:25:34,839 --> 00:25:36,648
Are you kidding?
421
00:25:36,672 --> 00:25:38,881
You see, there's a rumor going
around that I might be traded.
422
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:42,214
So? So this way I can
beat 'em to the punch.
423
00:25:42,238 --> 00:25:44,715
I can use my injury
as a reason to retire.
424
00:25:44,739 --> 00:25:46,704
I want to go out on top.
425
00:25:47,905 --> 00:25:49,782
Say, do you play gin rummy?
426
00:25:49,806 --> 00:25:51,748
Yes, but not very well.
427
00:25:51,772 --> 00:25:54,804
I'll teach you to be a
real killer. Sit down.
428
00:25:55,905 --> 00:25:58,348
Me? Sit on your bed?
429
00:25:58,372 --> 00:25:59,815
Sure. Why not?
430
00:25:59,839 --> 00:26:02,316
I read that article
about you in Playgirl.
431
00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:04,015
Highly exaggerated.
432
00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:07,870
If it were true, I'd be too
exhausted to play football.
433
00:26:17,373 --> 00:26:19,682
(PANTING)
434
00:26:19,706 --> 00:26:22,282
You're going too fast!
435
00:26:22,306 --> 00:26:23,306
(GRUNTING)
436
00:26:32,972 --> 00:26:35,571
I can't. I can't go any further.
437
00:26:37,573 --> 00:26:40,037
There's nobody on
this island anyway.
438
00:26:43,239 --> 00:26:45,804
Can't say that
Mr. Roarke doesn't deliver.
439
00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:50,416
I think we are actually
lost on a deserted island.
440
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:54,649
Don't you talk to me about
Mr. Roarke. This is an outrage.
441
00:26:54,673 --> 00:26:56,081
You know what's
gonna happen now?
442
00:26:56,105 --> 00:26:59,248
What? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
443
00:26:59,272 --> 00:27:01,048
They're never going to find us.
444
00:27:01,072 --> 00:27:02,282
Why do you say that?
445
00:27:02,306 --> 00:27:04,215
My horoscope. I had it cast
446
00:27:04,239 --> 00:27:05,948
just before I left
home. I'm a Leo.
447
00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:07,482
I know.
448
00:27:07,506 --> 00:27:10,571
You know I'm a Leo? I
read it in a movie magazine.
449
00:27:12,373 --> 00:27:15,849
When I was a youngster,
back in Colorado,
450
00:27:15,873 --> 00:27:18,948
I used to wonder how
the end would come.
451
00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:22,382
I hoped it would end
swiftly and painlessly.
452
00:27:22,406 --> 00:27:26,248
Who would have guessed it would
end on a remote deserted island?
453
00:27:26,272 --> 00:27:28,938
Two strangers.
Liz Merrill and...
454
00:27:30,707 --> 00:27:31,982
What did you say your name was?
455
00:27:32,006 --> 00:27:34,683
Melvyn Mews.
456
00:27:34,707 --> 00:27:39,148
Two strangers. Liz
Merrill and Melvyn Mews.
457
00:27:39,172 --> 00:27:41,115
The latter a complete unknown.
458
00:27:41,139 --> 00:27:43,982
Aren't you getting a
little bit over-dramatic?
459
00:27:44,006 --> 00:27:48,416
Well, you don't think we're
ever gonna be found, do you?
460
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,982
Oh, dear God, if you're
listening, please hear these words.
461
00:27:53,006 --> 00:27:55,049
I know I haven't always
done what you wanted me to,
462
00:27:55,073 --> 00:27:58,783
but I promise to if you'll only
get me off this damned island!
463
00:27:58,807 --> 00:28:01,671
Forgive me, God. I
didn't mean to blaspheme.
464
00:28:04,106 --> 00:28:06,882
Well, it wouldn't hurt if you
would do some praying also.
465
00:28:06,906 --> 00:28:10,238
After all, two prayers have
got to be better than one.
466
00:28:12,906 --> 00:28:14,038
Melvyn?
467
00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:18,283
Melvyn, where are you?
468
00:28:18,307 --> 00:28:20,949
Melvyn? Melvyn?
469
00:28:20,973 --> 00:28:23,183
(WHIMPERS)
470
00:28:23,207 --> 00:28:26,516
(GASPING) Oh,
thank God, it's you.
471
00:28:26,540 --> 00:28:28,716
Where did you run off to?
472
00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:32,116
Scouting the area. We don't
have too much daylight left.
473
00:28:32,140 --> 00:28:33,849
What is it you want?
474
00:28:33,873 --> 00:28:35,249
I'm hungry.
475
00:28:35,273 --> 00:28:36,882
Well, join the club.
476
00:28:36,906 --> 00:28:39,183
I'll wait here while
you find some food.
477
00:28:39,207 --> 00:28:42,783
Wrong. We both
scrounge for some food.
478
00:28:42,807 --> 00:28:44,350
Well, you're the hired help.
479
00:28:44,374 --> 00:28:46,249
It's your job to look
after Mr. Roarke's guests.
480
00:28:46,273 --> 00:28:49,049
I am not the hired help.
I am a paying guest here
481
00:28:49,073 --> 00:28:51,049
entitled to all the rights
and all the privileges!
482
00:28:51,073 --> 00:28:54,383
Just between the two of us, I
think I am being royally gypped.
483
00:28:54,407 --> 00:28:56,149
If Mr. Roarke were
here right now,
484
00:28:56,173 --> 00:28:58,671
I would insist on a
refund for my fantasy.
485
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,982
You had a fantasy?
486
00:29:02,006 --> 00:29:03,738
A real stupid one.
487
00:29:05,740 --> 00:29:09,716
I wanted to spend
a weekend with...
488
00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:11,238
The woman that I loved.
489
00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:14,283
The most beautiful,
490
00:29:14,307 --> 00:29:17,916
sexiest movie
star that ever lived.
491
00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:20,149
Well, frankly,
lady, I was a jerk.
492
00:29:20,173 --> 00:29:22,016
I was in love with an illusion.
493
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,617
You're nothing more than
a rotten, spoiled female
494
00:29:24,641 --> 00:29:27,517
who ought to be spanked.
495
00:29:27,541 --> 00:29:30,505
All right, are you gonna help
me scrounge up some food or not?
496
00:29:37,574 --> 00:29:40,071
Suit yourself.
497
00:29:52,741 --> 00:29:54,317
Gin.
498
00:29:54,341 --> 00:29:57,271
It looks like I have
to pay off again.
499
00:30:00,774 --> 00:30:03,550
Oh, Roger, this is all wrong.
500
00:30:03,574 --> 00:30:05,784
My best friend Marge
has had a crush on you
501
00:30:05,808 --> 00:30:07,650
ever since your college days.
502
00:30:07,674 --> 00:30:09,750
We couldn't help ourselves.
503
00:30:09,774 --> 00:30:11,216
It just happened.
504
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,572
She'll understand.
505
00:30:14,741 --> 00:30:18,305
Yeah. Good old Marge.
She'll understand.
506
00:30:20,541 --> 00:30:23,150
MARGE: Understand?
507
00:30:23,174 --> 00:30:26,350
What a mean, low, sneaky,
underhanded, dirty trick.
508
00:30:26,374 --> 00:30:29,217
My best friend turns out
to be Benedict Arnold.
509
00:30:29,241 --> 00:30:31,550
Do you think I
wanted it to happen?
510
00:30:31,574 --> 00:30:34,850
Does a bee want to run
into a full-blown flower?
511
00:30:34,874 --> 00:30:37,050
Oh, come on, Marge.
512
00:30:37,074 --> 00:30:39,950
I thought maybe you and Maru
might have something going by now.
513
00:30:39,974 --> 00:30:42,417
He doesn't even speak English.
514
00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:45,083
And I don't speak Cypriotic
or whatever they call it.
515
00:30:45,107 --> 00:30:46,617
Why should he have to speak?
516
00:30:46,641 --> 00:30:49,250
The language of
love is universal.
517
00:30:49,274 --> 00:30:53,950
Oh, Marge, I really
am sorry. I really am.
518
00:30:53,974 --> 00:30:56,284
Well, that's just
not good enough.
519
00:30:56,308 --> 00:30:58,905
Best friends don't
do that to each other.
520
00:31:01,041 --> 00:31:02,373
Oh!
521
00:31:05,274 --> 00:31:06,972
(OWL HOOTING)
522
00:31:12,607 --> 00:31:17,083
Mmm. This is the tastiest
fish I have ever had.
523
00:31:17,107 --> 00:31:18,983
Can I have some?
524
00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:21,484
Oh, sure. Sure.
525
00:31:21,508 --> 00:31:23,584
Here.
526
00:31:23,608 --> 00:31:27,806
You take my knife, and you
sharpen up a bamboo stick.
527
00:31:29,074 --> 00:31:31,883
And you spear all
the fish that you need.
528
00:31:31,907 --> 00:31:33,206
Just like I did.
529
00:31:37,107 --> 00:31:39,139
I see. How much?
530
00:31:40,808 --> 00:31:42,418
What's that?
531
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:44,751
How much money
for half your fish?
532
00:31:44,775 --> 00:31:47,983
(LAUGHING) My
fish isn't for sale.
533
00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:52,673
I see. All right. $100.
534
00:31:54,442 --> 00:31:55,917
Two hundred!
535
00:31:55,941 --> 00:32:01,083
Sorry. Anyway, your
money floated out to sea.
536
00:32:01,107 --> 00:32:03,540
What good is money
on a deserted island?
537
00:32:08,342 --> 00:32:10,072
I've got something that...
538
00:32:11,709 --> 00:32:12,951
didn't float away.
539
00:32:12,975 --> 00:32:16,351
Yes, I know. My shirt.
540
00:32:16,375 --> 00:32:19,284
And my shorts that you
stole from my duffel bag.
541
00:32:19,308 --> 00:32:21,451
Plus something a lot better.
542
00:32:21,475 --> 00:32:22,840
Like what?
543
00:32:33,175 --> 00:32:34,540
Like this.
544
00:32:51,075 --> 00:32:52,240
Well?
545
00:32:54,709 --> 00:32:58,319
No fish. How dare
you reject Liz Merrill!
546
00:32:58,343 --> 00:33:01,506
Give me that fish!
Give me that fish!
547
00:33:02,575 --> 00:33:03,751
I'll teach you.
548
00:33:03,775 --> 00:33:06,118
(SCREAMING)
549
00:33:06,142 --> 00:33:09,051
You brute! You brute!
550
00:33:09,075 --> 00:33:11,240
Leave me alone!
551
00:33:16,775 --> 00:33:19,851
Now the name is Melvyn Mews.
552
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:23,884
You remember that, Liz! Liz!
553
00:33:23,908 --> 00:33:26,818
Because we just might be spending
the rest of our lives here together!
554
00:33:26,842 --> 00:33:27,873
Oh!
555
00:33:30,476 --> 00:33:33,918
While we're at it, I want to
establish some ground rules.
556
00:33:33,942 --> 00:33:36,307
I am the boss!
557
00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:44,118
And whatever I say
goes! Democracy is out!
558
00:33:44,142 --> 00:33:46,260
So is that Hollywood star bit!
559
00:33:50,242 --> 00:33:52,051
On my island,
560
00:33:52,075 --> 00:33:56,719
you are nothing
but plain old Liz!
561
00:33:56,743 --> 00:34:02,652
And your only function is to keep
your old man, which is me, happy!
562
00:34:02,676 --> 00:34:06,285
Oh. Oh, don't stop. Kiss me.
563
00:34:06,309 --> 00:34:07,519
What's going on?
564
00:34:07,543 --> 00:34:09,984
Oh. You're so
masterful, so wonderful.
565
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:12,686
I've never been treated
like that by any man,
566
00:34:12,710 --> 00:34:14,652
including my four
previous husbands.
567
00:34:14,676 --> 00:34:16,084
Oh, Melvyn, I need you.
568
00:34:16,108 --> 00:34:18,285
You mean you like it?
569
00:34:18,309 --> 00:34:21,852
Like it? Oh, I love it.
570
00:34:21,876 --> 00:34:24,319
And you agree with
everything I said?
571
00:34:24,343 --> 00:34:27,452
Everything. Everything.
Oh, stop talking and kiss me.
572
00:34:27,476 --> 00:34:30,419
I don't know. Don't know what?
573
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,885
If I'm as great as you say...
574
00:34:32,909 --> 00:34:35,185
Uh-huh.
575
00:34:35,209 --> 00:34:36,488
You don't deserve me.
576
00:34:50,443 --> 00:34:52,585
CHEERLEADER: 5, 6, 7, 8.
577
00:34:52,609 --> 00:34:56,419
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
578
00:34:56,443 --> 00:35:00,152
Turn, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
579
00:35:00,176 --> 00:35:03,985
Kick, kick, 5, 6, 7, 8.
580
00:35:04,009 --> 00:35:07,752
Kick, kick, 5, 6, 7, 8.
581
00:35:07,776 --> 00:35:09,974
Step out, step out...
582
00:35:11,843 --> 00:35:13,085
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
583
00:35:13,109 --> 00:35:15,719
(FOOTBALL PLAYERS CHATTER)
584
00:35:15,743 --> 00:35:18,352
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
585
00:35:18,376 --> 00:35:20,585
Kick, 2, 3, 4...
586
00:35:20,609 --> 00:35:23,007
Come on, smile, girls, smile.
587
00:35:24,543 --> 00:35:28,852
Maru. What in the name of Too
Tall Jones is the matter with you?
588
00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:31,420
Maru is in love.
589
00:35:31,444 --> 00:35:32,952
Love?
590
00:35:32,976 --> 00:35:34,752
Turn, 2, 3, 4...
591
00:35:34,776 --> 00:35:36,519
HOIGHT: That is
fine, girls. All right.
592
00:35:36,543 --> 00:35:39,386
Now let's work on the
side, side, side, side.
593
00:35:39,410 --> 00:35:42,453
Front kick. Back
flip. Side, side...
594
00:35:42,477 --> 00:35:43,520
Excuse me, Mrs. Hoight.
595
00:35:43,544 --> 00:35:44,686
Could I have a word
596
00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:46,052
with Miss Wilton and
Miss Atkins, please?
597
00:35:46,076 --> 00:35:49,652
Oh, sure. Marge
Atkins. Kathy Wilton.
598
00:35:49,676 --> 00:35:53,320
Please go with
Mr. Roarke, on the double.
599
00:35:53,344 --> 00:35:55,085
Let's keep going, girls.
600
00:35:55,109 --> 00:35:58,453
Well, let's all start at the
beginning, right? 1, 2, 3, 4.
601
00:35:58,477 --> 00:35:59,919
Have a seat, thank you.
602
00:35:59,943 --> 00:36:01,653
CHEERLEADER: 5, 6,
7, 8. Step out. Step out.
603
00:36:01,677 --> 00:36:03,320
Now, I...
604
00:36:03,344 --> 00:36:06,620
CHEERLEADER:
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
605
00:36:06,644 --> 00:36:09,553
I regret saying this, ladies,
606
00:36:09,577 --> 00:36:12,553
but you have placed me in
a very embarrassing position.
607
00:36:12,577 --> 00:36:13,852
How so, Mr. Roarke?
608
00:36:13,876 --> 00:36:16,453
It was I who arranged
for you to be cheerleaders,
609
00:36:16,477 --> 00:36:19,919
but my plan seems to
have backfired completely.
610
00:36:19,943 --> 00:36:22,085
Within 24 hours,
611
00:36:22,109 --> 00:36:25,119
you have managed to put
one quarterback in the hospital,
612
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:29,152
render a highly vaunted
place kicker totally ineffective.
613
00:36:29,176 --> 00:36:31,620
And demoralized an
entire football team.
614
00:36:31,644 --> 00:36:33,553
Including its coach, of course.
615
00:36:33,577 --> 00:36:35,653
What's wrong with
the place kicker?
616
00:36:35,677 --> 00:36:38,687
He is hopelessly in love
with you, Miss Atkins.
617
00:36:38,711 --> 00:36:42,553
And as a direct result, he is
unable to concentrate on the ball.
618
00:36:42,577 --> 00:36:44,252
We really did mess things up.
619
00:36:44,276 --> 00:36:46,720
ROARKE: Well, indeed you did.
620
00:36:46,744 --> 00:36:50,219
The Titans open their season
against Pittsburgh, no less.
621
00:36:50,243 --> 00:36:52,252
Pittsburgh, in 10 days.
622
00:36:52,276 --> 00:36:54,052
And I greatly fear
for their safety.
623
00:36:54,076 --> 00:36:56,075
What can we do to help?
624
00:36:57,844 --> 00:37:00,453
You, Miss Wilton,
625
00:37:00,477 --> 00:37:02,820
can convince Roger
Mosely to leave the hospital
626
00:37:02,844 --> 00:37:06,520
and participate in this afternoon's
all-important scrimmage.
627
00:37:06,544 --> 00:37:07,353
But he's injured.
628
00:37:07,377 --> 00:37:09,720
Are you absolutely certain?
629
00:37:09,744 --> 00:37:12,687
Or is it possible Mr. Mosely's
using a very minor injury
630
00:37:12,711 --> 00:37:15,920
as a means of bowing out
of football while still on top?
631
00:37:15,944 --> 00:37:18,286
Well, he did say... Aha.
632
00:37:18,310 --> 00:37:19,553
Didn't you tell Roger
633
00:37:19,577 --> 00:37:21,553
what was wrong with
his passing game?
634
00:37:21,577 --> 00:37:25,375
No. I got so wrapped
up in other things, I forgot.
635
00:37:26,477 --> 00:37:28,153
What can I do to
help, Mr. Roarke?
636
00:37:28,177 --> 00:37:31,986
Give Maru Yprios his
concentration back.
637
00:37:32,010 --> 00:37:33,287
Show some interest in him.
638
00:37:33,311 --> 00:37:35,453
That won't be too hard to do.
639
00:37:35,477 --> 00:37:38,787
He's kind of cute. Is that all?
640
00:37:38,811 --> 00:37:42,787
Uh, no, not quite. Not quite.
641
00:37:42,811 --> 00:37:44,120
I think it's high time
642
00:37:44,144 --> 00:37:47,653
you two friends patch
things up, don't you?
643
00:37:47,677 --> 00:37:48,677
Hmm?
644
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:51,642
Well?
645
00:38:01,744 --> 00:38:03,153
How's that, Mr. Roarke?
646
00:38:03,177 --> 00:38:05,454
That is very nice.
647
00:38:05,478 --> 00:38:07,820
Now, may I suggest, Miss Wilton,
that you hurry over to the hospital?
648
00:38:07,844 --> 00:38:09,053
What for?
649
00:38:09,077 --> 00:38:10,920
Roger Mosely has
called a press conference,
650
00:38:10,944 --> 00:38:12,487
and I believe he's planning
651
00:38:12,511 --> 00:38:14,631
to announce his retirement
from professional football.
652
00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:21,108
(MERRILL GIGGLING)
653
00:38:26,977 --> 00:38:28,220
(EXCLAIMS)
654
00:38:28,244 --> 00:38:31,710
Come here. Sit down.
There. Let me get your back.
655
00:38:44,244 --> 00:38:46,654
ROGER: Am I entitled
to an explanation, nurse?
656
00:38:46,678 --> 00:38:49,321
I had to stop you from
announcing your retirement.
657
00:38:49,345 --> 00:38:52,321
But it's over, Kathy.
I'm all through.
658
00:38:52,345 --> 00:38:54,688
That's just the point.
You're not over the hill.
659
00:38:54,712 --> 00:38:56,354
Marge figured it out.
660
00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:58,654
You've been throwing
the ball all wrong.
661
00:38:58,678 --> 00:39:00,688
For openers, you've
been taking the ball
662
00:39:00,712 --> 00:39:04,053
and stepping only three
steps instead of five.
663
00:39:04,077 --> 00:39:05,621
Then, when you're
forced to scramble,
664
00:39:05,645 --> 00:39:07,086
you've been throwing side arm
665
00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:08,843
instead of overhand like this.
666
00:39:09,978 --> 00:39:11,108
(TATTOO EXCLAIMS)
667
00:39:18,244 --> 00:39:19,509
Get the picture?
668
00:39:24,545 --> 00:39:26,443
(CHEERLEADERS CHEERING)
669
00:39:27,945 --> 00:39:29,576
(MEN CLAMORING)
670
00:39:32,345 --> 00:39:34,076
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
671
00:39:45,778 --> 00:39:48,188
(CHEERING EXCITEDLY)
672
00:39:48,212 --> 00:39:49,676
I knew it. I knew it.
673
00:39:53,011 --> 00:39:54,521
What are you doing
out here? I'm all right.
674
00:39:54,545 --> 00:39:55,887
The knee's okay? Yep.
675
00:39:55,911 --> 00:39:57,469
You can play? Yeah.
676
00:39:58,645 --> 00:40:00,254
Let him in there. What is it?
677
00:40:00,278 --> 00:40:01,254
Third and fifteen.
678
00:40:01,278 --> 00:40:02,322
All right.
679
00:40:02,346 --> 00:40:03,584
Show me something.
680
00:40:06,478 --> 00:40:08,956
Hey. Hey.
681
00:40:25,111 --> 00:40:26,654
Roger's throwing overhand.
682
00:40:26,678 --> 00:40:28,688
That's something I took
care of at the hospital.
683
00:40:28,712 --> 00:40:30,710
Set. Go.
684
00:40:36,178 --> 00:40:37,843
(WHOOPING)
685
00:40:55,111 --> 00:40:57,755
Maru, kick it out
of the stadium.
686
00:40:57,779 --> 00:41:00,488
We got a touchdown!
Touchdown, touchdown!
687
00:41:00,512 --> 00:41:04,310
We got a touchdown! (CHEERING)
688
00:41:11,412 --> 00:41:12,412
Hut. Go.
689
00:41:29,746 --> 00:41:32,188
MERRILL: Oh, I never would
have dreamed that Liz Merrill
690
00:41:32,212 --> 00:41:34,288
could ever exist
outside the spotlight.
691
00:41:34,312 --> 00:41:38,022
You know, when I first
decided on an acting career,
692
00:41:38,046 --> 00:41:40,755
I never planned to be
Hollywood's sex goddess.
693
00:41:40,779 --> 00:41:44,055
Oh, no. I wanted to
be known for my acting,
694
00:41:44,079 --> 00:41:45,844
not my physical endowments.
695
00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:51,355
Liz, why don't you
forget about Hollywood?
696
00:41:51,379 --> 00:41:52,658
It's all behind you now.
697
00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:58,189
Oh. I'm so glad it's behind me.
698
00:41:58,213 --> 00:42:00,789
With what we've got, who
needs Hollywood, hmm?
699
00:42:00,813 --> 00:42:02,455
(CHUCKLES)
700
00:42:02,479 --> 00:42:04,388
Who needs civilization?
701
00:42:04,412 --> 00:42:07,655
Melvyn, do you believe in fate?
702
00:42:07,679 --> 00:42:11,388
Well, that depends. Why?
703
00:42:11,412 --> 00:42:14,888
I believe that fate threw
us together on this island.
704
00:42:14,912 --> 00:42:17,222
Movie star and truck driver.
705
00:42:17,246 --> 00:42:21,155
Well, regardless of
what threw us together,
706
00:42:21,179 --> 00:42:23,488
I never want to go back.
707
00:42:23,512 --> 00:42:25,689
Oh, neither do I, darling.
708
00:42:25,713 --> 00:42:27,877
We've got everything
here we'll ever need.
709
00:42:49,112 --> 00:42:51,922
Oh, you don't know
what a relief this is.
710
00:42:51,946 --> 00:42:56,389
Your boat was found adrift,
and we feared the worst.
711
00:42:56,413 --> 00:42:58,689
We're fine, Mr. Roarke.
We've never been better.
712
00:42:58,713 --> 00:43:01,255
The whole world is in
mourning for you, Miss Merrill.
713
00:43:01,279 --> 00:43:03,489
The whole world?
714
00:43:03,513 --> 00:43:06,155
ROARKE: International news
coverage is unprecedented.
715
00:43:06,179 --> 00:43:09,523
Your disappearance crowded
virtually all else off the front pages.
716
00:43:09,547 --> 00:43:13,289
Fans are thronging to
theaters to see your latest film.
717
00:43:13,313 --> 00:43:14,523
Really?
718
00:43:14,547 --> 00:43:15,723
Yes.
719
00:43:15,747 --> 00:43:17,222
Oh, well, of course,
720
00:43:17,246 --> 00:43:19,044
my fans always were very loyal.
721
00:43:22,112 --> 00:43:23,589
Gentlemen, I would
appreciate it very much
722
00:43:23,613 --> 00:43:25,489
if you got back
in your helicopter
723
00:43:25,513 --> 00:43:27,988
and just forget
you found us, okay?
724
00:43:28,012 --> 00:43:31,812
Very well. Is that also
your desire, Miss Merrill?
725
00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:38,122
You did say,
"thronging the theaters"?
726
00:43:38,146 --> 00:43:39,356
Yes.
727
00:43:39,380 --> 00:43:41,656
They're having Liz
Merrill film festivals
728
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:42,839
all over the country.
729
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,718
No, Mr. Roarke. It isn't.
730
00:43:51,747 --> 00:43:54,155
I'm sorry, Melvyn.
731
00:43:54,179 --> 00:43:57,311
You definitely wish to
remain here, Mr. Mews?
732
00:44:01,447 --> 00:44:06,523
Oh, Mr. Roarke, I can't greet
my fans dressed like this.
733
00:44:06,547 --> 00:44:08,923
Oh, that has been
arranged, Miss Merrill.
734
00:44:08,947 --> 00:44:12,056
Tattoo, will you kindly bring the
lady's suitcase from the helicopter?
735
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,023
Thank you. Suitcase?
736
00:44:14,047 --> 00:44:15,645
(LAUGHING) Well...
737
00:44:16,814 --> 00:44:18,611
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
738
00:44:23,980 --> 00:44:25,219
MERRILL: Melvyn?
739
00:44:40,847 --> 00:44:42,223
(STAMMERING) But I thought...
740
00:44:42,247 --> 00:44:44,190
I couldn't leave you, Melvyn.
741
00:44:44,214 --> 00:44:49,623
It seems I have a
terminal case of L-O-V-E.
742
00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:51,324
What about your fans?
743
00:44:51,348 --> 00:44:55,223
Well, they'll just have to find
themselves a new sex goddess.
744
00:44:55,247 --> 00:44:59,045
This one just retired
from the silver screen.
745
00:45:11,648 --> 00:45:14,457
Well, ladies. Did you
enjoy your fantasy?
746
00:45:14,481 --> 00:45:15,690
To the nth degree, Mr. Roarke.
747
00:45:15,714 --> 00:45:17,023
Oh, I'm very glad.
748
00:45:17,047 --> 00:45:19,557
Sorry that you don't be
permanent cheerleaders?
749
00:45:19,581 --> 00:45:24,190
Not really. We're going to be too
busy once the football season starts.
750
00:45:24,214 --> 00:45:25,989
Really? Busy doing what?
751
00:45:26,013 --> 00:45:29,223
Making sure some cheerleader
doesn't steal my place kicker.
752
00:45:29,247 --> 00:45:31,223
Or my quarterback.
753
00:45:31,247 --> 00:45:33,190
See you at the Super Bowl.
754
00:45:33,214 --> 00:45:35,223
Goodbye, Miss Atkins.
755
00:45:35,247 --> 00:45:36,557
Goodbye. Thank you. Miss Wilton.
756
00:45:36,581 --> 00:45:38,178
You're very welcome. Goodbye.
757
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:54,023
Well, Tattoo, how's your
spy training coming along?
758
00:45:54,047 --> 00:45:58,424
Magnifique, boss. I found an
ultimate place where I can hide.
759
00:45:58,448 --> 00:46:00,223
Really?
760
00:46:00,247 --> 00:46:03,624
Where I can be seen
without being seen.
761
00:46:03,648 --> 00:46:06,056
And observe without
being observed.
762
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:10,324
Well, I must say you
have piqued my curiosity.
763
00:46:10,348 --> 00:46:12,857
And where is this
marvelous hiding place?
764
00:46:12,881 --> 00:46:13,946
Aha.
765
00:46:17,781 --> 00:46:18,957
A mailbag?
766
00:46:18,981 --> 00:46:21,490
Yeah. That's exactly
the point, boss.
767
00:46:21,514 --> 00:46:25,524
Who is gonna look
twice at a mailbag? Hmm?
768
00:46:25,548 --> 00:46:26,946
That is a point.
769
00:46:29,481 --> 00:46:30,879
Help me, please.
770
00:46:32,981 --> 00:46:34,357
There you are.
771
00:46:34,381 --> 00:46:35,590
Yes.
772
00:46:35,614 --> 00:46:36,924
Tie it up.
773
00:46:36,948 --> 00:46:40,157
Uh, Tattoo, are
you sure it's safe?
774
00:46:40,181 --> 00:46:42,290
It's perfectly safe, boss.
775
00:46:42,314 --> 00:46:44,679
All right. All right. Tie it up.
776
00:46:46,848 --> 00:46:51,291
Now, look. I've got two
holes for my eyes there to see.
777
00:46:51,315 --> 00:46:52,979
And one to breathe.
778
00:46:55,781 --> 00:46:58,347
All right. Nobody's
gonna find me, ever.
779
00:47:00,914 --> 00:47:03,079
Can you come out
and play, Tattoo?
780
00:47:05,415 --> 00:47:06,746
Tattoo?
781
00:47:15,715 --> 00:47:20,057
Boss, do you know anybody who
wants to buy second-hand books
782
00:47:20,081 --> 00:47:22,653
on camouflage, cheap?
783
00:47:23,277 --> 00:47:26,013
(LAUGHING)
57128
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