Original subtitles

(BELL TOLLING)

The plane! The plane!

Good morning, boss.

Good morning, Tattoo.

Don't you see anything different about me?

Oh, now that you mention it, yes.

I have a feeling you are imitating the Frankenstein monster.

Though I am at a complete loss to explain why.

Well, it's to scare off the people who pick on me because of my size.

Well, with all due respect,

may I suggest that you imitate the Frankenstein monster at some other time

and meet me at the plane dock to welcome our incoming guests?

Or have you forgotten?

Frankenstein!

Smiles, everyone! Smiles!

(HORN HONKING)

(WOMEN GASPING)

ROARKE: Mr. Cornelius Wisselfaber,

a locksmith and Boy Scout leader from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

What's his fantasy?

He's an expert on the first World War, Tattoo.

More especially, the Flying Aces of that war.

Now this year his scout troop has asked him to give a lecture on this,

his favorite subject.

TATTOO: What does he want from us?

The opportunity to experience the Great War,

as it was called, first hand.

He's a fine pilot, Tattoo, and for this weekend

he wants to be a Flying Ace of World War I.

World War I? Boss, can we really do that?

ROARKE: Miss Helen Philips from Poughkeepsie, New York.

She has spent her entire adult life caring for hospital patients

on a volunteer basis,

while working as a librarian at Vassar College.

TATTOO: What's her fantasy, boss?

Miss Philips wants to shed half her age.

She wants to be 25 years old again.

Boss, can you really fix it that she be 25 years old again?

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Here we are.

(GRUNTS)

Well, gentlemen, shall we go?

Wow, this is unbelievable!

Why, it's almost an exact replica of a World War I officer's club.

Yes, in fact it's very like the headquarters

of the famed group of American pilots

who came over on their own to fight alongside the French.

The Lafayette Escadrille.

Precisely.

You amaze me, Mr. Roarke.

They were the greatest heroes of the war.

They had such fantastic style and "eelan."

Elan. Oh, they had that too, huh? That's great.

Will they be part of my fantasy too, Mr. Roarke?

Perhaps.

Um, I had hoped to offer a toast to your adventure, Mr. Wisselfaber.

Wieselfarber.

Wieselfarber. But the liquor cabinet seems to be locked.

Ah, well, a lock has not been invented

that can keep this locksmith out.

My pick cover.

And my pick.

You don't get to see locks like this much anymore.

Uh, brandy? Perfect.

(CLEARS THROAT)

No, thank you.

To Manfred Count von Richthofen.

The greatest Flying Ace of them all.

Von who?

Von Richthofen, Tattoo. He was called the Red Baron.

Well, Mr. Wisselfaber.

Wieselfarber.

Wieselfarber.

Tattoo and I must get back to our guests.

I hope your fantasy lives up to your expectations.

Oh, uh, you do understand, don't you,

that if you can go back to the era you wish,

you will be quite beyond my help should you encounter trouble.

Yes, well, I owe this one to my boys, Mr. Roarke.

It's my only real chance to tell them about the Great War

and I can't pass it up.

Well, in that case, Mr. Wisselfaber...

Wieselfarber. Wieselfarber.

À votre santé.

(STUTTERING)

Down the hatch.

Come, Tattoo.

(EXHALES)

Mr. Roarke!

Mr. Roarke!

What happens now?

Mr. Roarke!

That Mr. Roarke is amazing.

I really am back in World War I.

(AIRPLANES HUMMING)

Is that Courvoir?

No, it's Frank. I think Courvoir went out

with that first wave of Fokkers.

Thought the boss was running out of planes and pilots.

That new triplane of theirs makes me feel like I'm flying a rowboat.

Well, howdy, I'm Tex.

Oh, hi. You the new hero?

The new hero, yes.

Well, my name is Cornelius Wisselfaber... Uh, Wieselfarber.

Oh, yeah, Wieselfarber.

I saw your name on the roster sheet.

You did?

Hey, you clowns! Come here and meet the certified hero

they sent over to save your tails.

PILOT: Oh, boy.

Come on, Corney. It's eat, drink and be merry time.

Tomorrow we die.

Forget tomorrow. You're due up in the air right after lunch.

Oh, wow. That's terrific. Do I get a plane?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Mr. Roarke, can you really make me look 25 again?

Tattoo. Thank you.

The liquid in this vial contains a very special potion.

Certain legends claim it can give the appearance of youth, if only temporarily.

The vial contains three doses,

each to be taken precisely at 12-hour intervals,

if you are to maintain the effect.

Now just drinking that is going to make me young again?

There's only one way you can find out.

Boss, don't you think she should sit down first?

Perhaps Tattoo is right. Won't you sit down, Miss Philips?

Tattoo. Tattoo?

(GASPS)

Mr. Roarke, this is incredible.

What do I do now?

Well, I would say now, Miss Philips, you begin to enjoy your fantasy.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(MEN WHISTLING)

(GROANS)

I beg your pardon. Did I get you wet?

Yes, yes you did.

I'm David Hanks.

Uh, Helen Philips.

Uh, are you solo?

Yeah, yeah. Yes, I am.

In that case I wouldn't be jeopardizing life and limb

if I asked you for a drink, would I?

Are you Captain Wieselfarber, sir? Yes, I am.

Is this my plane, Corporal? Yes, sir, it is.

Good. It is? Are you kidding me? That's fantastic.

Why, Corporal, do you know that this is a real S.E.5?

Yes, sir, it is. I've been waiting for you.

And, sir, you're already 10 minutes late taking off for the patrol.

Very well, Corporal. Here we go now.

(CLICKS)

Always test your guns before you take off.

Remember that, Corporal.

Yes, sir.

All right, Corporal, let's get this thing off the ground.

Ignition. Contact.

All right, you Huns. Here I come.

WIESELFARBER: This has got to be the greatest fantasy in the whole world.

Out of my way, you clouds. Here comes Ace Wieselfarber.

Eat your hearts out, you groundhogs down there.

(GUNS FIRING)

A red triplane.

A red triplane?

The Red Baron flew one of those.

(GUNS FIRING)

Hey what are you trying to do, kill me?

(ENGINE STALLING)

What the heck kind of fantasy is this?

Helen, today was wonderful.

Sailing, snorkeling, water skiing.

I feel like a born-again teenager.

David, I've had a marvelous time.

Uh, you are Mr. Roarke?

Yes, what can I do for you, sir?

My name is Crane. George Crane.

How do you do, Mr. Crane?

I am looking for a lady named Helen Philips.

Her landlady said that she came here to Fantasy Island.

I see. And what is your interest in Miss Philips, if I may ask?

(STAMMERING) I am going to marry her.

Oh, you and Miss Philips are engaged, are you?

No. Oh?

Not exactly.

No?

(STAMMERING) What I mean is...

Sit down, Mr. Philips.

Thank you.

(SIGHS) Yes. You were saying?

See, I have been working as head librarian at Vassar for the past 20 years.

And for 15 of those years,

I have been kind of sweet on Helen.

Sweet enough that, uh, we go to dinner

and the movies every Saturday night.

So, I figured that we would be husband and wife

by the end of the year.

Uh, at her age, she really doesn't have too much of a choice.

Where is Helen, Mr. Roarke?

Well, as a matter of fact we do have a Helen Philips on the island.

Would you take a look out this window?

(CLEARS THROAT)

ROARKE: Is that your fiancee?

No.

(STAMMERING) That girl is a lot younger.

Oh, it is quite obvious that a mistake has been made.

I'll arrange passage for you on the next flight out.

Uh, no, Mr. Roarke, you see, my Helen

is still somewhere on this island.

Well, I plan to find her and take her...

take her back home with me.

I can't believe it.

What, Helen? That I had a marvelous time with you?

No, no. No, that you're an automotive engineer.

I mean, you look so young.

You see, at heart I'm a closet racecar driver, every chance I get.

And the engineering helps support my habit.

A young Barney Oldfield. Hmm, I like that.

How do you know about Barney Oldfield?

I mean, he did his driving before you were born.

(CHUCKLES) Why, I read about him. Librarians do read, you know.

Listen, um, Mr. Roarke is hosting a masquerade ball tonight.

It's a "come as your own fantasy" affair.

And what, Miss Philips, may I ask, are you going to masquerade as?

That, Mr. Hanks, is for me to know and you to find out.

See you.

(IN FRENCH ACCENT) He is coming around.

Yeah.

That flying fool nearly killed me.

Some fantasy.

Where am I? Who are you people?

I am Monique. This is my father.

And these are my brothers.

You're all right, monsieur?

Uh, sure, I'm fine.

Takes more than a knock in the head

to ground old Corney Weezen... Woozen...

Where's my plane?

We have hidden it from the Germans.

Our men will repair it tonight.

You are very lucky, monsieur.

Few men have battled the Red Baron and lived to tell about it.

Yes, well, that's all very well and good,

but if you'll just tell me how I can get back to Roarke's house...

The Red Baron?

Then it really was him.

We found this when we were hiding your plane, monsieur.

A lock pick.

Allied Intelligence would never send an American pilot.

(SHUSHES)

Monsieur, you are not the expert

with locks we have requested?

One who can speak German?

If you are from Allied Intelligence, monsieur,

then you would know the code words.

Uh, the code words.

Uh, yes, the code words.

Could you give me a hint?

He's a spy.

That's it. He is a spy.

Fools, do you not see that he has hit his head

and cannot remember anything?

Bien. Monique is right.

We must get the Boche plans tonight.

If he is a spy, it is a risk we must take.

If he's a spy, I will kill him with my bare hands.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

I trust your fantasy is working out well, Miss Philips.

Thanks to you.

Miss Philips, I should remind you

that there is a time limit on your fantasy.

Mr. Roarke, I know how old I really am.

Ah, Tattoo, I see you have a new disguise

to discourage people from picking on you, eh?

How do you like it? Fearful, hmm?

Very fearful, Tattoo. A real terror.

I'm surprised that the ladies would even dance with such a monster as you.

No problem, boss. Watch.

(WHISTLES)

Excuse me.

Oh, did I frighten you, Miss Philips?

You know my name?

If you'll excuse me,

I have other guests to attend to.

Mr. Roarke, what are you trying to do to me?

I'm afraid I don't understand, Miss Philips.

You know perfectly well who George Crane is.

Are you trying to sabotage my fantasy?

Perhaps I'm trying to enhance it.

Look, George is all right,

and I owe him an explanation sometime, but I can't do it now.

As you wish, Miss Philips. Will you excuse me?

It is you, isn't it?

(SIGHING) Yeah, I don't know what is going on around here.

Or how you did this.

But I do know one thing for sure.

You are Helen Philips from Poughkeepsie, New York.

I'm terribly sorry, but you're making a big mistake.

(GRUNTS) Helen it's me, George Crane.

You're hurting me.

Something wrong here?

Please go.

I know that I'm right.

I asked if something's wrong.

Helen!

Friend of yours?

Oh, case of mistaken identity.

Would you care to dance?

Mmm-hmm.

Um, in case you hadn't guessed, I'm Barney Oldfield.

Oh.

Helen, do you believe in love at first dance?

I didn't...

until now.

Ah, this is not going to work, Monique.

I mean, I speak a little Milwaukee German, but this is ridiculous.

I mean, why don't you just tell me where my plane is

and let me go back to it?

I understand, brave one.

You're like the bird with the wings clipped.

You wish to be in the sky dueling with the Boche.

Yes, well, I did come here to fly, not to spy.

But, please, we cannot get the plans from Richthofen's safe

without an expert locksmith.

Well, I just can't go walking right into von Richthofen's headquarters.

But you can. It is a party to honor Baron von Richthofen.

The Red Baron will be there in person?

Cornelius, we need you. I need you.

Besides, if you do not go in, my papa will shoot you.

In that case...

(IN GERMAN ACCENT) It will be my pleasure to risk my life

for such a brave woman.

Very gallant, mon cheri.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(MAN SINGING IN GERMAN)

The one in the center, that is Manfred, Baron von Richthofen,

otherwise known as the Red Baron.

That is Goring.

Goring, huh. Goring? Hermann Goring?

Oui. He has just one the Blue Max

for shooting down his 22nd plane.

Have you heard of him?

Yes, I've heard of him.

But how do you know them?

I have been here often.

There is much of value that a woman can learn.

The safe is through that door in the Baron's office.

Ah, Monique, such a pleasure to see you.

You will favor us with a song tonight?

Not tonight, Manfred.

Captain, uh...

(IN GERMAN ACCENT) Wieselfarber.

(SPEAKS GERMAN)

May I say it is a great pleasure

to meet you after all these years?

I am Manfred to everyone here.

I hope you two have not succumbed to the Red Baron mystique.

Typical propaganda, Captain Wieselfarber.

Useful now only to ensure a continuous stream of naive German youths,

marching off proudly by the thousands to glorious slaughter.

Tell me, Captain Wieselfarber,

there is something very familiar about you.

Have we, perhaps, met before?

I have just returned from the Russian front.

No. Uh, nein. What I mean is

But your face, I have seen it before.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Yes, well that is what everyone says.

You see, I have one of those faces

that look like everyone else's faces.

Face.

But enough about me, Baron.

Tell me, how does it feel to be the world's greatest pilot?

Frustrating, my friend.

The more I shoot down, the more they send up.

Sometimes I feel like your General Custer

who waged such a gallant battle at the Little Bighorn.

Yes, of course, that was a brilliant victory.

"My General Custer"?

A slip of the tongue, Captain Wieselfarber.

How could I possibly imagine you to be an American?

(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Well, that's okay. Forget it.

(IN GERMAN ACCENT) Uh, what I mean is we all make mistakes.

All of us.

Ja, ja.

Gustav.

Have him play something happy.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL SINGING IN GERMAN)

Got it.

There it is.

This is what we've been looking for, all right. This stuff is dynamite.

Anybody found with this in their hands could get their heads blown off.

GORING: You are right.

Of course, I'm right. I...

Hide this.

Helen, I have something I want to say and I don't care how crazy it sounds.

I love you, and I want to marry you.

Do you love me or do you think you could learn to?

Well, then, what's your answer?

My answer's no.

You love me, but you won't marry me?

That's right. Why?

David, we're just not meant to spend our lives together.

Sorry, Helen, that's not good enough.

It has to be.

Helen!

Say yes.

I can't think straight.

Say yes and you won't have to think at all.

Uh, all right, yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, I love you.

Yes, I'll marry you. Yes, yes, yes!

David, look out for the trees!

(GROANS)

(BOTH GROANING)

(HORSES NEIGHING)

David, are you all right?

I think so.

More embarrassed than hurt.

Must've hurt my ankle. I have a bad sprain.

How about you?

Oh, I'm all right. Just a couple of bruises.

Your face. So white.

ROARKE: The vial contains three doses,

each to be taken precisely at 12-hour intervals.

You'll have to help me walk out of here.

No, David. You stay. I'll go for help.

Don't be silly. We can make it.

No, it'll only make your ankle worse.

Helen. I'll take a shortcut. I'll be right back.

Helen!

(GROANS)

Oh, Mr. Roarke, I'm so glad you came.

Our horses ran off and the vial broke.

You've got to give me more of the potion.

Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible, Miss Philips.

Not possible?

It's my fantasy. I paid for it.

Your fantasy was to be 25 again

and experience young love. Wasn't it?

Please, Mr. Roarke, you can't let it end like this.

He loves me. He really loves me

and he wants to marry me.

What you are doing, Miss Philips,

if you forgive me, is worshipping youth.

A wise man once told me, "Worship age,

"then you will always have life to look forward to.

"Worship youth and you declare your own obsolescence."

Worship age? Yes.

How can I worship age when everything belongs to the young?

Please, Mr. Roarke, you've got to give me more time. Please!

Very well.

We'll go back to the house and I'll give you another vial

and another 12 hours.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

MONIQUE: Mon cheri, if we are to be separated

and anything should happen to me,

I wish you to have this.

It's beautiful. Thank you.

I'm just sorry I failed you, Monique.

Sorry I failed to get the plans.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

It doesn't make any difference.

I'm a World War I buff.

I know everything that's going to happen.

Look, if I shouldn't make it,

if something should happen to me,

tell your friends that there will be a new German offensive

on June 27th at Chateau-Thierry.

But I do not understand. How could you know about the German offensive?

Never mind. Come on.

They haven't invented a lock that this locksmith can't open.

Good day for flying.

Don't tell me that wasn't you talking.

That was not me. I asked you not to tell me that.

Your plane is that way, I think.

Perhaps you will be my first American, Captain Wieselfarber.

I don't understand. Why are you letting us go?

Four years ago I rode off on an exciting little adventure.

A young cavalry scout racing wildly across the fields...

And now the trenches are running with blood.

Eleven million dead.

What is to understand, Captain Wieselfarber?

It is all madness.

At least up there we will be on equal terms.

Better hurry.

Monique, what is today's date?

Come, Cornelius. What is today's date, Monique?

April 21st.

April 21st.

The Baron is gonna be killed today.

By you?

(AIR RAID ALARM WAILING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

DAVID: Helen, are you there?

Helen? Helen?

David?

DAVID: Why'd you run away?

Open the door. I... I don't understand.

(SIGHS) I've been lying to myself and to you.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

Don't look at me. Not just yet.

Mr. Roarke was right.

It's time I worship what I really am.

I'm not 25, David.

I'm old enough to be your mother.

And here I thought I'd fallen in love

with the most beautiful young woman in the world.

Stop it! Just stop it. I've suffered enough.

We've both suffered enough, Helen.

I've been trying to build up the courage to tell you.

My vial was destroyed in that fall off the horse, too.

(STAMMERING) You're...

Fifty-two years old.

I had a fantasy too.

Twenty-five years ago in Poughkeepsie, I was a fireman.

I was injured.

Nearly cost me my life.

I was hospitalized for months

and this angel of mercy

would come by every chance she'd get.

She was my only reason to live.

And I fell in love with her.

Suddenly I was moved to another hospital.

Plastic surgery.

We lost touch.

Helen, my fantasy was you.

But I never thought Roarke would take

such a roundabout way to deliver it.

Let's not look gift horses in the mouth, David.

Not at this late date.

Do you think after the war maybe...

Anything's possible, Monique.

But whatever happens, I'll never forget you.

(MEN SHOUTING IN GERMAN)

Hurry, you must go.

Ignition. Contact.

(GUNS FIRING)

(GUNS FIRING)

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Maybe today, but not by me.

Boss, the guests are starting to arrive.

Oh.

Oh, I do hope George Crane doesn't show up as an uninvited guest.

Don't worry.

When he heard you were getting married,

he took the first plane home.

But not before asking me to wish you all the happiness in the world.

Oh, we better hurry.

After the ceremony, you are due on the schooner that will take you

on your honeymoon trip around the world.

TATTOO: Around the world? ROARKE: Yes.

Boss, that's great. Will you do the same thing when I get married?

Of course, Tattoo. When do you think that might be?

Oh, um, when I'm, uh... When I'm 50.

The perfect age for marriage.

Well, Mr. Wieselfarber,

ready to return to your Boy Scout troop

and tell them of the glories of World War I?

You've cured me of that, Mr. Roarke.

I'm no longer a hero worshiper of those Flying Aces.

Besides, I think that the romance of war

is a subject that shouldn't be taught to children.

ROARKE: Something troubling you, Mr. Wieselfarber?

Did you ever get the feeling you were living in the wrong time?

I think I know the feeling, yes.

Mr. Roarke, I was wondering, uh, perhaps maybe someday soon

you could transport me back to France.

You know, right after World War I, say, 1919, 1920.

That is a very unusual request to want to return to a fantasy.

But, why don't you come back in six months or so,

and if it still means that much to you...

It will, Mr. Roarke. It will.

And this time, I think I might stay.

Au revoir.

Goodbye, Mr. Wieselfarber.

(WOMEN GIGGLING)

Tattoo, I've been hesitating to ask,

but I've never seen you in dark glasses before.

I'd rather you don't ask, boss.

(SIGHS)

Oh, I know, it was the jealous fiance

of that beautiful girl you dated last night.

No, it was not.

It wasn't? Then who was it?

Him.

(CHATTERING)

I dressed him in a Godzilla outfit,

and he punched me in the eye.

He...

(LAUGHING)