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1
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:33,200
Oh, you know you're
gonna get it 'cause it's
2
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,167
hot right now, hot right now.
3
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:35,600
Turn it up right now.
4
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,133
Put your hands in the air
if you want it right now.
5
00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:41,733
Hey oh, hey oh, hot...
6
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,067
Sorries I'm late.
7
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:45,033
Bus driver wouldn't let me on.
- Why not?
8
00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,467
'Cause I didn't have the fare.
9
00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:49,000
I need a break, Meg.
10
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,767
I need to win the
lottery, or do a kiss
11
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,147
and tell, or have
a bad accident,
12
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,667
get a compensation pay out.
13
00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,767
Well, we can all dream, Laura.
14
00:00:55,867 --> 00:00:57,767
Sorry, taxi was late.
15
00:00:57,867 --> 00:00:58,867
You can't afford taxis.
16
00:00:58,900 --> 00:00:59,933
It was Hugh's idea.
17
00:01:00,033 --> 00:01:01,033
Oh?
18
00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:02,700
We needed a bit
more time in bed.
19
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,600
I'm ever so sore.
20
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,500
Nice.
21
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,833
Why are you sore?
22
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,567
Well, Meg, when two people
love each other very much...
23
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,133
OK, you don't love him.
24
00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:13,733
Excuse me, yes, I love Hugh.
25
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:15,733
Ha, thanks, I love you, too.
26
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,933
You can't love him.
27
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,133
You've only just met.
28
00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:19,476
When you meet him,
you'll understand.
29
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:23,100
He's sexy, and
sweet, and generous.
30
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,480
He's taking all for lunch today.
31
00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:25,567
Really?
32
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,133
Oh, hello, green
eyed monster Klaxon.
33
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:29,333
I'm not jealous.
34
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:30,467
Come on.
35
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:31,876
I know you haven't had a
boyfriend in tres ages.
36
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:32,700
It's not a big deal.
37
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,700
It's just a dry patch.
38
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,500
It's a fucking desert, mate.
39
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,533
When was the last
time you had some pen?
40
00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:38,467
Pen?
41
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:39,200
Pen.
42
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,900
Penny P. Penetration.
43
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000
When was the last
time an actual penis
44
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,100
went in your vagina?
45
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,467
- Bunny!
- Answer.
46
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:46,400
I don't know.
47
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,733
It's 10, 12...
48
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:48,867
- Days?
- No.
49
00:01:48,967 --> 00:01:49,800
Weeks?
50
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:50,767
No, Laura.
51
00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:51,867
Fucking hell.
52
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,333
10 years?
- Months.
53
00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:54,673
Why are you missing out months?
54
00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:55,800
Oh, right.
55
00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:57,033
10 month.
56
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:58,267
10 month?
57
00:01:58,367 --> 00:01:59,843
Well, actually, I
think it's more like 12.
58
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:01,333
Look, honestly, it
doesn't bother me.
59
00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:03,113
It's the least of my
worries at the moment.
60
00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,767
You need to get back
on the horse, Meg.
61
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,476
I think there are more
important things for me
62
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,867
to get back on, actually,
like career ladders,
63
00:02:09,967 --> 00:02:11,500
and a course of Prozac.
64
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,400
Priorities, Meg.
65
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,600
12 months?
66
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:18,167
Yeah, you know, after a
while it seals itself up.
67
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:20,133
It's not a piercing.
68
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:39,000
Oh, god.
69
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:42,467
This thing is slicing me in two.
70
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,000
Camel toe check?
71
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,333
Uh, affirmative.
72
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,800
It's borderline
pornographic, mate.
73
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:51,000
Can't believe no one's wanted
to shag you for 12 months.
74
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,233
It's a choice!
75
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,776
I don't want to be
one of these sluts who
76
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,767
just sleeps with anyone,
no offense to you guys.
77
00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:57,867
I know how you feel.
78
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:58,933
I'm picky, too.
79
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:00,333
Hm.
80
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:02,143
You want me to show you
how to pick up lads, I will.
81
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:03,167
It's a piece of piece.
82
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,033
Can I just say,
I'm not desperate.
83
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:07,033
So I might not seal
the deal very often,
84
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,400
but flirting is my forte.
85
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,733
Is it?
86
00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:12,167
Famously.
87
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,600
OK, guys, we need up to
1,000 entries for the big draw
88
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,743
and then we can all go home.
89
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:17,833
Can we?
90
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:19,400
You all right, Meg?
91
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,233
Big time.
92
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,033
Don't worry about me, hot stuff.
93
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:24,200
That's a nickname
that I have for you.
94
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,000
Let's just stick with Josh.
95
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,600
Anyway, as I was saying,
today is the big draw.
96
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,567
So we needs lots of
entrants in to win the car.
97
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,167
So you're just asking people
if they want to enter.
98
00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:34,827
Meg was actually
wondering if you wanted
99
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:37,600
to enter her for the big draw.
100
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,700
No, that's not allowed.
101
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,200
I can't enter Meg.
102
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,533
You can't enter Meg?
103
00:03:41,633 --> 00:03:42,967
No, of course not.
104
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,700
So you... you definitely
don't want to enter Meg.
105
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,367
Trust me, it's not worth it.
106
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,300
Uh, if I find any
of you cheating,
107
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,833
you'll find yourselves
working elsewhere.
108
00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,133
Doesn't bear thinking about.
109
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,367
And you must wipe down these..
110
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:56,843
You don't know what
germs the general public
111
00:03:56,867 --> 00:04:00,567
are harboring... swine flu,
bird flu, mad cow, AIDS.
112
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:03,400
Malcolm, you can't catch
AIDS from a..
113
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,700
Let's just keep things
nice and tidy around here.
114
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,800
You're tidy.
115
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:07,933
- Sorry?
- Nothing.
116
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:09,167
I didn't say anything.
117
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:13,267
Flirting is your forte.
118
00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:14,833
OK, that wasn't my best work.
119
00:04:14,933 --> 00:04:16,833
Maybe he's just not
into lanky weirdos.
120
00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:18,733
- You're aiming too high, Meg.
- Come on.
121
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:19,700
He's like, a seven.
122
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:20,600
Exactly.
123
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,400
You're a six, max.
124
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,067
You could be a
seven, but you lose
125
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,200
points for being desperate.
- What?
126
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,533
Think of it this way, right?
127
00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:29,300
Did Katie Price go
through a dry patch
128
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,960
then just snap up
Peter Andre like that?
129
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,500
No.
130
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,776
She had to sift through Dane
Bowers and Ace on "Gladiators"
131
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,633
first.
132
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:36,633
Right.
133
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:38,333
Everyone does a dry run, Meg.
134
00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:41,167
OK, well a dry run
does sound a bit more fun
135
00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:42,467
than a dry patch.
136
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:47,400
What, so I need to aim
low, like what, a six?
137
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,567
Five?
138
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,067
Four?
Really?
139
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:50,967
Seriously, mate.
140
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,300
The lower the better.
141
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,067
I mean, I do see the logic.
142
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,567
Well, no time like the present.
143
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:56,567
Come on.
Not here.
144
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,467
I'm dressed like a
shit "Kill Bill."
145
00:04:58,567 --> 00:05:00,367
Meg, this is Leeds City Center.
146
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,533
The place is teeming
with low-hanging fruit.
147
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:03,633
Get picking.
148
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,633
Oh, target!
149
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:34,133
Target approaching.
150
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,800
Oh my god, I know him.
151
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,100
He used to be my halls at uni.
152
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:38,233
Who is he?
153
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:39,967
- He's called Sweaty Tom.
- Oh, god.
154
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:40,933
Course he is.
155
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:42,133
Oh, yeah, Meg.
156
00:05:42,233 --> 00:05:44,867
That's perfect lower
grade shit, easy.
157
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:45,800
Tom!
158
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,067
Hi!
159
00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:48,733
Oh, hey, Bunny.
160
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:49,933
What are you doing here?
161
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:51,867
I'm just visiting
family in Harrogate.
162
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:53,167
We just came up the M1.
163
00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:55,800
But mum accidentally
came off early, so we
164
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,733
went for a sandwich in Thirsk.
165
00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,073
I just had ham.
- Oh, yeah, Meg.
166
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,267
That's definitely a five.
167
00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:01,100
I was going to have
to have cheese but...
168
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,233
Look at that sweat.
169
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,633
I don't really like cheese.
170
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:04,876
Brilliant And he's talking
about sandwich fillings.
171
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:05,733
I prefer just to eat the ham.
172
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:06,833
He's perfect.
173
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:07,767
I'm going in.
174
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,967
It was quite nice.
175
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:10,533
Hi.
176
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:11,733
You shouldn't have.
177
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,667
Actually my auntie just died.
178
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:14,667
Yikes.
179
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:15,867
Sorry, Tom.
180
00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:17,533
This is my cousin, Meg.
181
00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:20,133
Pleased to meet me.
182
00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:21,800
And not Laura.
183
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,100
OK, so, hit me.
184
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,543
What do you want to
talk to me about?
185
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:27,000
Ask me anything.
186
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,500
You studied law,
didn't you, Tom?
187
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:29,400
Law?
188
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,333
Law?
189
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,633
How's the law?
190
00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:32,533
I don't know.
191
00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:33,533
I did art.
- Oh?
192
00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:34,433
Picasso.
193
00:06:34,533 --> 00:06:35,700
Chop me ear off.
194
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,867
Van Gogh.
195
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:38,633
So, Tom, what are
you doing tonight?
196
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,033
What am I doing tonight?
197
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,433
Well, actually, my mate's
DJing at a house party.
198
00:06:44,733 --> 00:06:45,633
OK, good.
199
00:06:45,733 --> 00:06:46,909
Meg would like to come to that.
200
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:48,300
Really?
201
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,233
Right.
202
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:50,067
OK.
203
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,633
You'd love that, wouldn't you?
204
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:54,567
So text Bunny the address and
we'll meet you there at 8:00.
205
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:55,700
OK.
206
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,900
It's a date.
207
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000
Or is it?
208
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,367
Casual.
209
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:00,167
Cas.
210
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:03,133
See later, then.
211
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,300
Did you see me?
212
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,843
Did you see me punching
below my weight?
213
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:06,667
You're right.
214
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:07,767
It does feel good.
215
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,567
Possibly interest you in a car...
216
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,533
Is it a man or a woman?
217
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:15,633
Hang on.
It's a man.
218
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:16,800
- Man.
- All right.
219
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:17,700
Philips Goldfield.
220
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,267
No.
221
00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:20,843
Excuse me sir, may I interest
you in our competition today?
222
00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:21,933
Get fucked, princess.
223
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:23,176
- Yep, will do.
- Is it a politician?
224
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,233
- Yes.
- Well, I'm not playing then.
225
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:26,900
I don't know who that is.
226
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,500
Whoa, Laura, you've done loads.
227
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,833
I've only got one.
228
00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:46,467
Just my job.
229
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,300
So watch and learn.
230
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,300
All right, do you
want to win a car?
231
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,367
You'll have to speak up, love.
232
00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:53,133
Car.
233
00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:54,433
Do you want it.
234
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,533
Yes, please.
235
00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:56,667
Fill this in then.
236
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:57,833
OK.
237
00:07:57,933 --> 00:07:59,109
And don't forget
your bank details.
238
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:00,333
What'd she say?
239
00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:03,600
Bank, details, for the
prize money, I expect.
240
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,567
OK.
241
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:05,747
The aren't any prize money.
242
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,100
It's a 6 pound entry charge.
243
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,633
And make sure you sign it.
244
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:11,633
Speak up, love.
245
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,067
Nothing.
246
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:14,533
On your way.
247
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:15,633
Come back for the draw.
248
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,633
Easy.
249
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:21,733
This is not cricket.
250
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,200
Hi, could we get a menu, please?
251
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:34,509
- Ah, Meg, this is Hugh.
- What?
252
00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:35,133
- What?
- Hi, Meg.
253
00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:36,233
And that's Laura.
254
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:41,900
So, Hugh, what do you do?
255
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,267
I'm retired.
256
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:48,133
And it's more a case of
who do I do at the moment.
257
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,100
Let's order some food.
258
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,733
Oh, have whatever you like.
259
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:55,733
It's on me.
260
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,833
I've got some coupons to use up.
261
00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:59,233
I'm not hungry anymore.
262
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:00,433
Have you taken your tablet?
263
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,133
Well remembered.
264
00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:03,400
One before lunch.
265
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,300
Arthritis.
266
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,500
Right
267
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,167
So, Meg, Bunny tells me
you've got a date tonight.
268
00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:09,700
Who's the lucky chap?
269
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,933
Well he's called Sweaty Tom.
270
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,200
He's really dull.
271
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:14,700
He's only about a five.
272
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,033
He's basically idea.
273
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:17,533
Meg's on a dry run.
274
00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:19,733
It's just a kind
of temporary measure.
275
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:20,633
You know, filler.
276
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,300
- So to speak.
- Hugh!
277
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,133
Sorry.
278
00:09:24,233 --> 00:09:25,933
Gosh, I have to
say, I'm learning.
279
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,000
I had no idea girls did that.
280
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,533
Yeah, they do.
281
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:32,167
Sometimes they don't even
realize when they're doing it.
282
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:42,667
Give a light.
283
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,533
Help the aged in there, Bunny.
284
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:45,933
You don't understand.
285
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:47,400
He's kinky as fuck.
286
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,333
He gets all fifty
shades in the bedroom.
287
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:51,167
Well, he's definitely very gray.
288
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:53,067
Look, I really love him.
289
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,067
He's my boyfriend.
290
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,033
Boyfriend?
291
00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,267
Pensioner friend.
292
00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:58,267
- So I'm dating an older man.
- Old man.
293
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,733
You're dating an old man.
294
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:00,900
He's not old!
295
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,467
He has a walking stick.
296
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:03,233
It's a staff!
297
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,100
And you are ageist!
298
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,133
OK, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls,
299
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,000
without further ado, draw time!
300
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:17,800
Right, and the winner
Zara Debenhams?
301
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,100
Zara Debenhams?
302
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,467
Do I have a Zara Debenhams?
303
00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:27,333
She must have gone home.
304
00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:28,800
Can I still do the photo?
305
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:29,733
Oh, um...
306
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:30,633
Yeah.
307
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,167
Yeah.
308
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:34,500
"Northern Lights"
magazine this, Meg.
309
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,167
Take a picture of me having
my picture taken so I can
310
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:39,000
use it as my profile picture.
311
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,500
Right, Professor Megan,
that gentleman over there
312
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,700
is a doctor.
313
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,300
And yes, you can catch
AIDS from a..
314
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,900
If the was inserted
into the anus of an AIDS victim
315
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,400
and was then inserted into the
mouth of a healthy person, who
316
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,309
just so happened to have
an open wound on the mouth,
317
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,667
such as a cold sore.
318
00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:59,300
Case closed.
319
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,933
Meg, you're team
leader, aren't you?
320
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:02,400
Uh, yes.
321
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,943
And I have the extra eight
pounds a month to prove it.
322
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,233
Great.
323
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,776
We need you to take the
car to the winner's house.
324
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,909
You can take somebody with you.
325
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:08,733
Ah, right.
326
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:09,833
I see.
327
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,500
Shall we?
328
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,833
I need to stay here.
329
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,100
Yeah, I know.
330
00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,687
This looks like one
of those villages people
331
00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:28,000
go to on their gap years.
332
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,833
You have reached
your destination.
333
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:31,800
God, what a dump.
334
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,700
Laura, that's your mum's house.
335
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,000
My mum?
336
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:36,967
Oh, yeah.
337
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:37,900
That's mad.
338
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,700
I didn't even realize.
339
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,600
Laura, no.
340
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,267
Tell me you didn't.
341
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,467
Surprise!
342
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:45,667
I did!
I won it!
343
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:46,667
I won the car!
344
00:11:46,767 --> 00:11:47,909
Oh, darling, that's wonderful!
345
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:48,833
Congratulations!
346
00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:49,933
Laura, no.
347
00:11:50,033 --> 00:11:50,867
This is fraud!
348
00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:52,367
We'll go to prison!
349
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:54,433
Oh my god, I'm aiding
and abetting fraud.
350
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,567
Don't be such a sore loser, Meg.
351
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:57,367
I won it.
352
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,633
Let's go to the party in it.
353
00:11:58,733 --> 00:11:59,533
Bunny, tell her!
354
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:00,633
I said well done.
355
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,067
You cannot take this car.
356
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,800
Technically this is joyriding!
357
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:12,100
Meg, I am not a criminal!
358
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,067
Oh, look.
359
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,033
There's Sweaty Tom.
360
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:17,567
Ah, you moron.
361
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:18,533
Tom!
362
00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:19,500
Tom!
363
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,867
Tom!
364
00:12:20,967 --> 00:12:23,267
Hi.
365
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,067
Is this the car from
the shopping center?
366
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,176
No, you're dreaming, mate.
367
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,967
Get off our backs about it.
368
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,200
Whose party is this?
369
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:32,933
Dunno.
370
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,033
My mate's a DJ.
371
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:36,800
Should be fine.
372
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,800
Is it fancy dress?
373
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:40,167
No.
374
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,467
Then why are all these
people dressed as children?
375
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,200
Is that alcohol?
376
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,133
Yep.
377
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:54,733
Oh, this party's out of control.
378
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,000
Is it?
379
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,300
Who even are you?
380
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,067
I can't believe
randoms are here.
381
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:00,167
It's OK.
382
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,033
I'm with Tom.
383
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,800
Who, the sweaty guy?
384
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,633
Yeah, I was at uni with him.
385
00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:05,633
Oh my god.
386
00:13:05,733 --> 00:13:07,600
That must mean you're like, 21.
387
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,733
No, actually, I'm 24.
388
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:10,667
Wow.
389
00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:11,767
That's so creepy.
390
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,633
You're so old.
391
00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:14,367
I have to tweet that.
392
00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:17,967
Well, you're a sad
virgin, probably.
393
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,233
I'm 15.
394
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,400
At least I don't have
a massive camel toe.
395
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,933
My mum shrunk them when
she did my washing for me!
396
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:28,733
What the hell?
397
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:29,667
I'm looking for Bunny.
398
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,900
Hello, you!
399
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:37,833
I am out of here.
400
00:13:40,933 --> 00:13:42,167
Do you mind?
401
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,933
You're kind of killing the vibe.
402
00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:46,567
She's in a retirement home.
403
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,600
What is wrong with people?
404
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,733
It's so ageist.
- Well, yes.
405
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:52,167
But I don't think
it's just that.
406
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:54,633
I mean, I used to teach
some of this lot, too.
407
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:55,833
What do you mean, too?
408
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,333
Oh, I was worried
you hadn't realized.
409
00:13:58,433 --> 00:13:59,733
Hi, Rasheen.
410
00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:01,633
Bunny, don't you remember me?
411
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,567
No.
412
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,433
I was your teacher.
413
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:05,567
At?
414
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:06,967
Dillard Junior.
415
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:07,867
Oh?
416
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:09,367
What, primary school?
417
00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,500
Well, no wonder
I don't remember.
418
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,000
Such a small world.
419
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:15,367
So you don't think it's weird?
420
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,533
Um, no, why?
421
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:18,700
Is it weird?
422
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,100
Not to me.
423
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,267
You always were a naughty girl.
424
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:31,200
OK, I think it might be weird.
425
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,776
I'm just going to go
check with the girls.
426
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,067
Back in a sec.
427
00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:37,800
See me at the end!
428
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:39,633
So.
429
00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:40,733
So.
430
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,367
Here I am.
431
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,133
Yeah.
432
00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:45,433
Here you are.
433
00:14:45,533 --> 00:14:49,000
Here we both are.
434
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,167
Sorry, am I making you nervous?
435
00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,567
No, uh, I always
sweat like this.
436
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,300
Cool.
437
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,233
Look, I, uh, just want to
say, whatever you're thinking
438
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:01,600
about us, not to put too
fine a point on that,
439
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,967
but uh, don't think I
wouldn't, you know, just 'cause
440
00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:07,800
of the whole six five thing.
441
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:11,033
I'm just going to get a drink.
442
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:14,200
You've got a full one here!
443
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:15,700
Meg, I need a word.
444
00:15:20,967 --> 00:15:23,533
OK, so, if you were
sleeping with someone,
445
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,233
and you thought
that you loved them,
446
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,243
and then you found out that they
were your old primary school
447
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,500
teacher, what would you do?
448
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,700
Oh my god, Huh?
449
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,800
Mr. Morris?
450
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,033
He's from Dillard Junior!
451
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:33,967
I knew I recognized him.
452
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,267
I don't remember him.
453
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,733
Well, you never turned up.
454
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:39,967
I was just going to ask if
you thought it was creepy.
455
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:41,233
Laura, what do you think?
456
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:42,467
The beacon of morality.
457
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,300
I feel physically sick.
458
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,033
It's a bit Hugh-tery mate.
459
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:47,133
Hugh-tery.
460
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,600
So, what's the verdict?
461
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,333
Creepy.
462
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:59,033
It's monumentally creepy.
463
00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:01,267
Why do people always say this?
464
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,800
You sound just like the PTA.
465
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:07,100
It is not creepy to take an
interest in young people,
466
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,633
especially if the
feeling is mutual.
467
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:09,733
Hm.
468
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,043
I mean, I suppose it was creepy
469
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,767
that I chose to
run netball club,
470
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:16,367
like it was creepy that I
did a gym knicker check.
471
00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:20,267
There is nothing creepy
about having your favorites,
472
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:23,933
watching them ripen, then
contacting them online
473
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:27,433
once they're of legal age.
474
00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:28,600
Yeah.
475
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:29,900
Can you leave now, Mr. Morris.
476
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,733
Isn't it illegal, though?
477
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,500
Should we report
him to the police?
478
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,800
Uh, no, technically it's
not illegal, not like say,
479
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:40,967
stealing a car.
480
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,767
Everyone nick's
stuff from work, Meg.
481
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,433
Besides, it's just
a driving offense.
482
00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:45,533
Cars.
483
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,600
People don't nick
cars from work, Laura.
484
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,100
This is a criminal offense.
485
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,867
It's called Grand Theft Auto.
486
00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:53,333
No, Meg.
487
00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:56,600
That's a computer game in
America, not real, obviously.
488
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,333
The most we'll get is
points on our licenses.
489
00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:01,033
Our licenses?
490
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:02,767
No, this is your scam.
491
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:06,067
I'm not prepared to be an
accessory to your crime, Laura.
492
00:17:06,167 --> 00:17:08,267
Or should that be
Zara Debenhams?
493
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:10,000
Why are you being
such a boner about it?
494
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,667
No offense, but this
is total scambodia.
495
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:13,667
Fine.
496
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,167
I'll sort it out meself, then.
497
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,167
God, call yourself mates.
498
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:19,700
- Unbelievable.
- I know.
499
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,080
Where's she going?
I need a lift.
500
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,533
I need to shower.
I feel dirty.
501
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:23,467
Oh, whoa, wait.
502
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:24,733
Don't go.
503
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:28,300
Look, Tom doesn't seem
interested, at all, in anyway.
504
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,100
But flirting is your forte.
505
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,900
Well, I must be
rustier than I thought.
506
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,233
You can't even pull a five?
507
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:36,267
Oh em Jesus, Meg, I
am humiliated for you.
508
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,800
OK, look, I need
tips, a quick fix.
509
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:40,909
What do I talk to him about?
510
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:42,400
He's a bloke, Meg...
511
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,667
Playstation, football, lesbians.
512
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:45,767
Just be cool.
513
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:50,133
Playstation, football.
514
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,400
Right, back on the horse.
515
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,333
Neigh.
516
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:02,300
Noo.
517
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,233
Oh.
518
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,533
Hi.
519
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:08,600
So, what were you doing in
there then, just being fit?
520
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,633
Oh, is that all up now?
521
00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:16,833
I mean, I do like
watching people puke.
522
00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:20,733
But it's no playing football,
do you know what I mean?
523
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,667
You play football?
524
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,167
Which position?
525
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:26,567
Well, I think it's more of
a spectator sport, isn't it?
526
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:27,833
Oh, right, yeah.
527
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:29,767
Who do you support?
528
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:31,067
Britain.
529
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,467
When they're playing.
530
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,633
That last match... plonker.
531
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:40,400
But I do prefer to unwind
on, say, the Playstation.
532
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,367
Oh, yeah?
533
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:42,367
Big time gamer.
534
00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:43,967
I do actually play
the Sims a lot.
535
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:45,609
Do you want to see my
impression of a Sim?
536
00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:46,633
No.
537
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:51,267
You fucking geek.
538
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:54,767
Um, got to go and
do something else.
539
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:55,867
Lesbians!
540
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,133
Where?
541
00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:59,300
I was just remembering
because I've had loads
542
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,567
of girl on girl experiences.
543
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:02,667
Really?
544
00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,200
Who with?
545
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,533
Bunny.
546
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:06,833
We do it all the time.
547
00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:09,700
I'm just constantly
licking her out.
548
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,333
Aren't you two related?
549
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,533
Just cousins.
550
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:14,900
Is that OK?
551
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:25,567
Shall we take it upstairs?
552
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:26,967
Yeah.
553
00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:47,433
Sorry about this.
554
00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:49,633
It's just my ex-boyfriend
still lives here.
555
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:51,833
I thought you said
you were a lesbian.
556
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,700
I am now.
557
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,067
That could be why we broke up.
558
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,800
So that's why I
live here in a loft,
559
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:02,100
like Anne Frank, a
lesbian, famously.
560
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:09,067
Sorry.
561
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,300
Do you mind if we don't
tell anyone about it?
562
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,640
Why, have you got a girlfriend?
563
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,500
No, but it's just,
you know, one must know.
564
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,600
Why?
565
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,400
Well, I wouldn't want
people to find out.
566
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,267
What?
567
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,700
But I'm punching
below my weight.
568
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:22,633
OK, then.
569
00:20:22,733 --> 00:20:25,033
Uh, excuse me, yes I am.
570
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,267
Because I haven't
had sex in 12 months.
571
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,867
And you're just a sweaty horse.
572
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:30,867
Right.
573
00:20:30,967 --> 00:20:32,733
Is this a sexy role play thing?
574
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:34,333
Get out of my loft!
575
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:35,100
Loft
576
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,033
OK, going.
577
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:38,800
Actually, my hands
are kind of wet.
578
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,733
Have you got a towel.
579
00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:43,533
I'll see myself out then.
580
00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:13,433
Hi Mark.
581
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:23,033
Hi Meg.
582
00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:24,500
Hi Mark.
583
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,400
Have you been crying?
584
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,633
No.
585
00:21:26,733 --> 00:21:29,100
Can I uh, help you with
absolutely anything at all?
586
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,967
You've got some
stuck to your cheek.
587
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,333
Do you want to come in?
588
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:39,100
No.
589
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:47,000
Tell me you took the car back.
590
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:48,100
Not exactly.
591
00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:01,333
Bernard!
592
00:22:01,433 --> 00:22:02,267
Oh!
593
00:22:02,367 --> 00:22:03,367
Look!
594
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,833
Swiped some wine on
the way out, naughty.
595
00:22:07,933 --> 00:22:09,100
Bottle opener?
596
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,067
Mark's room.
597
00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:11,267
Begs you not me.
598
00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:12,807
I know how to open
it with a lighter.
599
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:15,600
Oh, no.
600
00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:16,967
That's beer.
601
00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:20,000
Oh, you tit!
602
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:20,933
Sink!
603
00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:23,033
Bunny, put the plug in!
604
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,573
I think this is how
the French do it.
605
00:22:28,367 --> 00:22:30,733
So, tell us about
the dry run, Meg.
606
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:31,833
Sweaty room?
607
00:22:31,867 --> 00:22:33,267
Oh, oh, it was very sexy.
608
00:22:33,367 --> 00:22:34,733
Bloody pair of animals, we were.
609
00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,567
- Nothing happened did it?
- No.
610
00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:37,500
Oh, this is a new low.
611
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,800
Um, hang on, she stole the car.
612
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:40,700
True.
613
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,133
That was not a great move.
614
00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:44,043
Sorry, coming from the
girl who's been shagging
615
00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:45,333
her primary school teacher.
616
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,500
Let's take the piss
out of Meg again.
617
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,567
Um, I've just been
rejected by a man whose face
618
00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:52,367
resembles a water fountain.
619
00:22:52,467 --> 00:22:54,533
I think I've had the piss
taken out of me enough.
39663
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