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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:09,343
- [humming "Happy Birthday"]
2
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,612
[screams]
- [laughs]
3
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,480
Don't worry, Doofus.
It's just a headdress.
4
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,015
You better get used to
this outfit because it is
5
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,385
what I will be wearing
at the town's world famous
6
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,853
Ididnotarod sled-dog race
later this year.
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,291
[chuckles] Got him good.
- Uh, don't you mean Iditarod?
8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,160
- It was Iditarod
until the real Iditarod
9
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,428
sued for trademark
infringement.
10
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,528
But it really makes
no difference to me
11
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:29,929
as long as I still get to be
12
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:33,201
this year's ceremonial
Husky Queen.
13
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,536
- [laughs]
Husky Queen?
14
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,438
- It's a huge deal.
15
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:40,107
At the finish line,
I, the Husky Queen,
16
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:42,576
will emerge from
the ceremonial husky sculpture
17
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,311
to honor the winner.
18
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,113
- [laughs]
Okay, okay.
19
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,414
Let--let me get this straight.
20
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,817
You're getting inside
the husky sculpture?
21
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,353
Aren't you like terrified
of tight spaces?
22
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,487
- Are you trying
to sabotage me?
23
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,256
I get a little nervous, okay?
24
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,491
I get a little nervous,
25
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,128
but I'm sure
I'm going to be fine, okay?
26
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,796
Oh, yeah, and happy birthday.
27
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,998
I left your gift
in the orange juice container.
28
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,867
Mwah!
- [groans]
29
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405
[sighs]
I hate you so much.
30
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:15,209
* Don't want to
go to school today *
31
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,978
* The sun is red hot
and I want to play *
32
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,548
* But if I get caught,
they'll make me pay *
33
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,251
* Detention again *
- Big Nate, Big Nate.
34
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,819
* Math and social studies
just ain't my thing *
35
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,756
* Rocking with my band
is where I'm king *
36
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:34,328
* Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test *
37
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,296
singers: * Ooh, ooh, ooh *
38
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,631
Big Nate!
39
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,768
[crash]
40
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,204
[together]
Happy birthday, Nate.
41
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,905
- Go on, buddy. Open it.
42
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,105
- You should know
43
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,908
that birthdays
make me a little anxious.
44
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,710
You get your hopes up
and usually get let down.
45
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,746
Often there's a clown involved.
46
00:01:55,716 --> 00:02:01,289
"A Challenge for the Actor"
by Uta Hagen.
47
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,022
- It's from me! Surprise!
48
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,825
Uh, can I borrow it
when you're done reading it?
49
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,394
- Yeah, I'm done.
- Oh, sweet.
50
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:11,331
- Whoa, 25 bucks. Sweet!
51
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:12,765
- [laughs]
Corrections.
52
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,402
It's a savings bond
that will be worth $25
53
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,271
once it fully matures
in the year 2072.
54
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,772
- Thanks, everybody.
55
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,242
This is, uh, well,
this is great.
56
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,776
- But that's not all, buddy.
57
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,514
Allow me to offer
a gift of my own.
58
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:29,015
Hmm, hmm?
The gift of song.
59
00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:30,050
- Oh, please don't.
60
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,117
Please, please don't.
61
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,221
- * I cried myself to sleep *
62
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,355
* In the shower again *
63
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,558
[dogs howling]
64
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,895
- Hey, I think
you have a fan, Dad.
65
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,598
- Well, thanks, son.
That means a lot.
66
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,199
You know at times--
- Sounds great, Dad.
67
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,435
Any more presents?
68
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,569
- Uh, actually, yes.
69
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,271
You know, it turns out
your Aunt Bee
70
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,173
didn't pass away last year.
71
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,575
- Whoa! This could be huge.
72
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,078
Aunt Bee is loaded.
And she's rich!
73
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,213
[rock music]
74
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,649
Uh--
- Whoa.
75
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,783
Are those like
designer bandages?
76
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,018
- Huh?
77
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,254
- Now you can heal
like a rich person.
78
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,822
- It's a stamp collection.
79
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,691
Stamps.
80
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,094
The things you lick
and put on mail.
81
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,697
- [sighs]
82
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,966
- Look at him, Martin.
83
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,368
Look how disappointed he is.
84
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,570
- That voice.
Who--who is that?
85
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,906
- Martin, this is
your medulla oblongata.
86
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,040
You're having
a mild panic attack.
87
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,843
I'm here to pull you out
when you need me.
88
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,546
- Are you a ghost?
89
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,915
- Oh, gosh, no. I'm future you.
90
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,352
- Why is future me naked
and wearing a barrel
91
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,987
and a boot on my/your head?
92
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,525
- Because I/you let Nate down
on his birthday.
93
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:49,530
Stamps and a song?
Gee, thanks, Dad/me.
94
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,564
- Isn't it the thought
that counts?
95
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,100
- I/we are naked in a barrel
96
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,069
and you don't want to know
what I/us had to do
97
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,673
to get this boot hat.
- Message received.
98
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,908
Right.
So, uh, where were we?
99
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:04,544
Oh, yeah, uh, the big surprise.
100
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,646
- Big surprise?
- Well, yeah.
101
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,782
You didn't think
those stamps and a song
102
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,850
were all you were getting?
Not on my watch.
103
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,454
And here it is.
104
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,788
[angelic choir sings]
105
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:17,557
- Whoa.
You got me a credit card?
106
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,526
- No. No. Oh, heck no.
107
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,528
I'm gonna let you
use my credit card
108
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,764
so I don't end up
naked in a barrel.
109
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,600
- * I'm rich, yeah *
110
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,769
* I'm a rich little
dandy so-and-so *
111
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,504
* I'm rich *
112
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,372
- Ah, ah-ah.
113
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,608
As long as it's under 50--
- Got it! Thanks, Dad.
114
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,677
[door slams]
- Dollars.
115
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,012
- * Ba ba bup bup bup ba *
116
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,014
- [humming]
117
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,584
all: Oh, ah.
118
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:47,387
- Okay, how much is it now,
uh, Jeff?
119
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:51,725
- It's Zeff, with a Z.
Short for Zeffrey. Duh.
120
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,127
[cash register beeping]
That'll be 41.99.
121
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:58,731
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
We're not done here, Zeffrey.
122
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,500
Keep on scoopin'.
123
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:03,336
[Western music playing]
124
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,339
* *
125
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:07,475
- Oh.
- Whoa.
126
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,343
* *
127
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,779
- She's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
128
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,783
[orchestra swells]
129
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,651
- Nate Wright
has been preparing
130
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,086
for this moment
131
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,754
his entire life.
132
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,824
Raised since birth
to survive the cold...
133
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,893
[crying]
Nate grew to thrive
134
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,661
in freezing temperatures.
135
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,863
[screaming]
136
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,072
Training himself
each and every day
137
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,207
to be impervious to cold.
138
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,512
[gulping]
Ah, training paid off.
139
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,247
No brain freeze.
Hey, how you guys doing?
140
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,516
[all groaning]
141
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,183
Great!
So what do we buy next?
142
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,952
- What do you mean?
We just spent it
143
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,088
on the world's most expensive
ice cream sundae.
144
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:59,225
- Well, yeah, but nobody said
we could only spend 50 bucks.
145
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,430
I mean, Dad said, as long as
it's under 50 bucks.
146
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,764
- Yeah, he was pretty vague.
147
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,899
- No, there's no way
that's what he meant.
148
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,901
- Yeah, well,
he wasn't super clear.
149
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,639
So I'm gonna assume
he meant $50 per swipe.
150
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,807
You know, just to be
on the safe side.
151
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,576
- Oh, you clean up real nice.
152
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,678
[screams]
- [gasping]
153
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,047
It's just me, Dad.
It's just me.
154
00:06:20,112 --> 00:06:21,949
Did I scare you?
- Oh, gosh, no.
155
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,552
I--I wanted to drop that plate.
156
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:25,952
What were you doing
in the pantry?
157
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,122
- Oh, trying to get over
my fear of enclosed spaces.
158
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,824
[laughs nervously]
I saw the--the husky sculpture
159
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,860
that I'm supposed to jump
out of at the ceremony,
160
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,928
and it's, um,
it's a really tight squeeze.
161
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,630
I'm just, kind of,
freaking out.
162
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,199
- I'm so proud of you, sweetie.
163
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:43,235
Having irrational fears
is a Wright family tradition.
164
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,439
- It is?
- Yup.
165
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,441
Ever since your
great-grandfather Ebeneezer
166
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,709
was terrified
that aliens invented jazz
167
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,911
to make teens worship Cthulhu.
168
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,213
- And, uh, what ended up
happening to him?
169
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,949
- Eaten by bears.
[burps]
170
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,550
Which I guess is a lesson...
- [screams]
171
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,286
- About being afraid
of the wrong things.
172
00:06:59,351 --> 00:07:01,420
- Help me!
- Anyhoo, your dear ol' dad
173
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,423
is here to help you
get over your fears.
174
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,692
- And what makes you think
you'd be able to help me?
175
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,928
- You may not believe this,
but I too have known fear.
176
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:12,432
Snakes, voodoo,
those weird European sirens
177
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,668
that go nee naw nee naw.
178
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,103
Warm toilet seats.
Who made it warm?
179
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,372
Frozen urine icicles
falling off of a plane latrine,
180
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,043
a larger one lands on me,
not killing me,
181
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,077
but disabling me,
forcing me to relive
182
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,781
that memory again and again.
I overcame all of it.
183
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,216
Mostly.
Let me guide you.
184
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:32,952
[engines whirring]
185
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,221
["The Final Countdown" plays]
186
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,290
- $49.99 worth of racing,
please, my good man.
187
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,459
- You got it.
188
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,994
- Hey, you're that dude
189
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,829
from the ice cream place,
right?
190
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,966
- Scoopin' ice cream's
how I pay my bills.
191
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,769
Slangin' go-kart tickets
is my passion.
192
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,771
[rock music]
193
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:51,771
[beeps]
194
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,139
all: Ooh.
195
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,242
- Whoo-hoo!
196
00:07:55,307 --> 00:07:58,478
[engines roaring]
197
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,648
- Guys, I can't seem to find
198
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,583
the hazard signals
on this thing.
199
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,050
[engine roars]
[screams]
200
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,353
- Once more around the park,
Jeeves.
201
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,221
[beeps]
202
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:13,093
- [yells] Hey!
This isn't fun, okay?
203
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,329
- Whoa, dude.
How many jobs do you have?
204
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:19,399
- Dang, get off my back.
205
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:22,870
I'm saving up
for a samurai sword.
206
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:25,773
- So how much to adopt a dog?
207
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,141
- Well, we got
a ton of extras here.
208
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,276
They got dropped off because
they weren't good enough
209
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,946
to cut it on
a Ididnotarod team.
210
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,716
[dogs whining]
- I can feel their pain,
211
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:38,918
crying out for sweet freedom.
212
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,453
- Quick question,
how much if I adopt
213
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,823
all of them?
[beeps]
214
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,359
[dogs barking]
all: Whoa!
215
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,729
- [howling]
216
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,529
- Is that Spitsy?
217
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:51,999
- Whoa!
- Ah!
218
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,268
[dogs barking]
219
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,136
- Oh, we got to go
after them, right?
220
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,871
- I don't know,
they seemed happy.
221
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,307
Plus, we still have
the credit card.
222
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,775
[laughs]
223
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,244
- It's all about
the superior altitude.
224
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,312
- Oh, you're getting
too close to mine!
225
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,748
* *
226
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,149
[negative tone]
227
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,250
Oh, well that's never
happened before.
228
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,220
Here just, uh,
just rub it on your shirt
229
00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:15,022
and try again.
- I did.
230
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,024
Pretty sure
it's maxed out, bud.
231
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,927
- Huh? Maxed out?
232
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,567
- [groaning] Oh, no, no.
My dad's gonna kill me.
233
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,836
- Dios mio.
234
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,404
To be financially ruined
by your own son.
235
00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,741
I just hope his weak heart
can handle this.
236
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,809
Ow.
- What he means is,
237
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,812
we still have our friendship.
238
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,815
Which is the most priceless
treasure of all.
239
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,584
- Oh, no, no, no!
240
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:47,419
- That was really dorky,
Francis.
241
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,722
- Why can't you
take anything seriously?
242
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,292
- Hey, I take this
so seriously.
243
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,726
Purple nurple!
244
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,629
[laughs]
- [screams]
245
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,432
- Ah, come on. Not helping.
246
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,971
- Oh no.
Nate, is everything okay?
247
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,874
She asked,
hoping the answer was no.
248
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,075
- All right, Ellen,
if you're here to ask me
249
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,609
to throw a tennis ball
for you to fetch.
250
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,211
I'm just--I'm not in the mood.
251
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,611
- Elle, are you ready?
252
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,614
- Well, a Husky Queen's job
is never done.
253
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,984
I hope you feel better, Nate.
She lied.
254
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:19,787
- Huh?
255
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,456
- [grunts]
256
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,092
- All right, so I'm just
gonna say it.
257
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,028
I've got a lot of questions.
258
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,330
- I've been dabbling
in mountain climbing lately
259
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,033
to beef up my special skills
section on my headshot.
260
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,605
And I have the cure
for what ails you.
261
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,573
A benefit concert for you.
- Uh--
262
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,911
What is $6,000 in debt mean?
263
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,712
Is that another band
that's playing?
264
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:48,014
- No, no, I've set up
a fundraising page
265
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,381
on Fundcrusher Plus.
266
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:50,918
We're going to
livestream a concert
267
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,619
and get donations
to help us pay down
268
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:56,288
the $6,000 debt you owe.
269
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,524
- Owe? 6,000?
270
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,527
That's like a billion
in kid dollars.
271
00:11:00,592 --> 00:11:02,261
- Ah, don't be so dramatic.
272
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,466
It's more like,
500 million in kid dollars.
273
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,335
- Why would people
donate money to bail out
274
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,169
Nate's ridiculous spending?
275
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:14,474
- Well, I may have hinted
that Nate has a rare disease--
276
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,009
Rashisniffachondria.
277
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,778
Yeah, symptoms include:
dry, itchy rash.
278
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,347
- Wait, wait, wait.
I really am kind of itchy.
279
00:11:21,413 --> 00:11:22,982
- Loss of sense of smell.
280
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,618
- Hang on. You guys smell that?
Me neither.
281
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:27,053
- Dry mouth.
282
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:31,057
- [crunching]
Mouth so dry.
283
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,095
Please tell me there's a cure.
[crunching]
284
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,697
- Oh, Nate, there is no cure
because I making up
285
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,133
the symptoms as I go.
- Oh, well, that's perfect.
286
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,001
Hey, Dee Dee, your idea
sounds totally insane.
287
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,202
Let's do that.
288
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,304
One, two, three, four.
289
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,908
[rock music plays]
290
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,110
* *
291
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,312
[inaudible]
292
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:57,549
* *
293
00:11:57,616 --> 00:12:01,488
[panting]
294
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:03,023
- Holy cow!
295
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,357
Who knew dishonest grifting
could be such a moneymaker?
296
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,659
- Pretty much everybody, man.
- Billionaires, for sure.
297
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:10,230
- You guys,
we just broke $200,000,
298
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:15,268
but we spent $207,000
putting on the concert.
299
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,403
- What?
300
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,940
[ticking]
301
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,442
- [gasping]
302
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,811
Are you sure
this is gonna work?
303
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,979
- As long as
you trust my system.
304
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,280
- Okay, your system is weird.
305
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,384
- A lot of things seem weird
until they seem normal.
306
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,552
- Is it normal that I have
307
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,187
a moldy banana peel
down my pants?
308
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,057
- Why don't you jump back
in the dumpster and find out?
309
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,792
- [groans]
310
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,561
[gasping]
311
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,663
[pumped electronic music]
312
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,698
* *
313
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,135
[bird chirruping]
[gasping]
314
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,107
Whoo! How was that?
315
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,375
- You're ready.
316
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,544
My precious daughter
is gonna be the best
317
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,947
Mutt Duchess
this town has ever seen.
318
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,850
- Oh, it's actually Husky Qu--
319
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,284
[sighs]
I love you too, Dad.
320
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,456
- Oh, hey, Ellen.
You busy?
321
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,424
- Just organizing a task force
to address the recent
322
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,995
epidemic of stray dogs
terrorizing Rackleff.
323
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,298
- Oh, yeah, wow.
No, I-I-I heard about that.
324
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:21,467
Yeah, but, uh, no I had
absolutely no involvement
325
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:24,571
in-in whatever's going on
with-with all the dogs.
326
00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:26,806
Hey, really proud of
how seriously
327
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,908
you're taking your role
as Husky Queen.
328
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,945
- It-it's Husky Qu--wait.
329
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,614
You actually
said that correctly.
330
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,948
Why are you being so weird?
331
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,817
- No, it's not weird
for a brother to be nice
332
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,855
to his genius sister, is it--
okay, I can't.
333
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,923
Look, I have too much integrity
to be nice to you.
334
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,692
I got in some trouble
with Dad's credit card,
335
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,759
and I need advice.
336
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:50,462
- Oh, I love seeing you
so desperate.
337
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,831
If I help you,
you have to agree
338
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,903
to be my indentured servant
for the next six months.
339
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,404
- Six months?
Oh, oh.
340
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,838
[groans]
Fine.
341
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,274
What's your brilliant plan?
342
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,710
- My plan, young Nate,
is simple.
343
00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:07,547
The Ididnotarod
has a $10,000 cash prize.
344
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,216
All you have to do is win it.
345
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,619
- All I have to do
is win a sled-dog race?
346
00:14:12,684 --> 00:14:15,621
I am not a sled-dog racer.
347
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:18,325
Where would I even find
the dogs--
348
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,027
[barking and howling]
349
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:22,195
Mm.
350
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,869
Where the heck did
this net-launcher come from?
351
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,870
- Oh, I interned with
the Tokyo Police Department
352
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,306
to research a role.
[crunching]
353
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,975
- We got one!
354
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,878
all: Huh?
[crunching]
355
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:41,048
- Chad, what the heck?
356
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,250
- What? I'm carb-loading.
357
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:47,886
It's my cheat day.
What-what are you guys doing?
358
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,956
- Eh, like every other day,
we're trying to recruit
359
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,625
a team of sled-dogs
to win the Ididnotarod.
360
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:53,994
- It could be going better.
361
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,996
- Oh.
You guys need an alpha.
362
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,630
When my parents were
crate-training me,
363
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:02,068
I learned that dogs are
always looking for an alpha.
364
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,104
I'm still looking for mine.
365
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:07,274
- I think I know
just the alpha.
366
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,243
So you see, Spitsy,
we need your help.
367
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,711
We need you to become
the strong leader
368
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,214
you were meant to be.
369
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,384
- [sneezes]
370
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,287
- [whimpering]
371
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:22,054
[emotional string music]
Is this what you want?
372
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:24,291
I'm begging you to save,
not just me,
373
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,758
but my family.
374
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,894
My father is not a strong man.
375
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:30,429
I mean, I've seen quilts
more intimidating than him.
376
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,633
And I can barely focus
long enough to dress myself.
377
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,402
We won't make it.
378
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,238
Spitsy, please save us!
379
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:41,073
With liberty and justice
for all.
380
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,241
[coughs]
381
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,614
- Uh, are dogs supposed to
cough up hairballs?
382
00:15:47,679 --> 00:15:49,015
- This isn't going to work.
383
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,450
Nate's gonna be grounded
for life
384
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,120
and we'll all be
social pariahs by association.
385
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:56,423
And your poor father,
sweet, simple Martin,
386
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,690
is going to lose the house.
387
00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,491
You'll be living
in some tent city and--
388
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:03,763
- [howls]
389
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,067
[howl continues]
390
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,041
- Guys, we did it!
391
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,643
Now all we need is a sled,
some harnesses,
392
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,346
to learn how to drive a sled,
and to get these reject dogs
393
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,280
ready to race
against expensive, purebred,
394
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,549
well-trained sled-dogs.
[laughs]
395
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:26,318
It almost seems too easy.
396
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,793
- [yodeling]
397
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,696
[dogs whimpering]
398
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,498
- Hey!
399
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,033
* *
400
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,003
[both breathe deeply]
401
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:47,005
[tense music]
402
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:50,043
* *
403
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,445
- [grunting]
404
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,480
Husky Queen.
405
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,383
- Now, I know
what you're thinking.
406
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,585
Dog-sled race, snooze.
407
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,352
That's gonna be boring
to watch,
408
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:03,123
but don't worry,
Nate Wright's gonna make it--
409
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,357
[thunder cracks]
Awesome.
410
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,826
[rock music plays]
411
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,162
[beeping]
412
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,463
[car engines roar]
413
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,266
- Heck yeah.
414
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:20,472
* *
415
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,744
Hey, Principal Nichols!
Mr. Galvin.
416
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,713
what are you guys doing here?
417
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,981
- No idea, Nate.
It's your fantasy.
418
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:31,518
Now if you don't mind,
419
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,385
I have a strange need
to destroy you.
420
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:34,453
[tires squeal]
421
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,457
[dramatic music]
422
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:40,359
* *
423
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,295
- Bet you weren't
expecting this?
424
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,496
[electric guitar plays]
425
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,397
- I can safely affirm that.
426
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:47,567
No, I was not expecting that.
427
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,902
* *
428
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,203
[farts]
429
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,240
Whoa! Butt fire blasters?
Awesome.
430
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:57,009
Do I have that?
Yep, sure do.
431
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:04,116
* *
432
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:07,987
- No!
- Whoo-hoo!
433
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,221
- Whoo-hoo!
434
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,424
Finally got
that samurai sword, buddy.
435
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:16,163
* *
436
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,564
- [growls]
437
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,669
Whoa-oh, better pray
for a miracle, Spitsy.
438
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:25,538
- Did someone
call for a miracle?
439
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,307
- Dee Dee!
- Don't forget about me.
440
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,041
[laughs]
- Teddy!
441
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,544
Oh, fantastic!
442
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,680
Now all we need is Chad.
- Present.
443
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,082
- Okay, we're almost there.
444
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,184
Let's make this count, gang!
445
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,453
[car engines roar]
446
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,123
Whoa, Mrs. Godfrey?
447
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,057
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Godfrey.
448
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,094
* *
449
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,962
- Recuérdame!
450
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,664
- No hard feelings, bud.
451
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,933
- Teddy!
- Focus, Nate.
452
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,635
You're almost
at the finish line.
453
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,438
I'll buy you some time.
I once played a goat--
454
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,138
- No time for your résumé,
Dee Dee.
455
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:01,673
[tires squeal]
456
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,878
- Huh? Ooh.
457
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:08,146
- Dee Dee, no!
458
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:11,550
- It's okay, Nate.
Finish what you started!
459
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,986
- Okay, we got this.
We got this.
460
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:19,925
* *
461
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,961
- [panting]
462
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,430
Huh? Huh?
463
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,531
[jazz music plays]
464
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,400
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
465
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,701
[screams]
466
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,738
[barking]
- Ow, ow, ooh.
467
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,074
- Ellen!
468
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,679
Honey, it's me, Daddy!
Can you see my eye?
469
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,213
It's peering through
the butthole
470
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,615
and it's very proud of you.
471
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,317
- Dad, gross! But thank you.
472
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,220
I did it.
I conquered my fear.
473
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,221
Now get me out of here!
474
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,721
- Don't worry, honey.
475
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:51,258
I'm going to go find something
and I'll be right back.
476
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,460
- [sniffs] Aroo?
477
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,894
[laughter]
478
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,128
- [sighs]
479
00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:58,698
Well, at least it can't
get any worse.
480
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,268
- Uh, Nate, I think your dad
is violating that husky.
481
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,501
- Hmm?
482
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,936
Dad! What are you doing?
483
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:08,540
- I'm saving your sister.
[grunting]
484
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:11,109
- Dad!
485
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,912
I'm almost--[screams]
486
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,547
[crash]
487
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,182
[groans]
488
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,684
- Ellen, are you okay?
489
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,919
- How many fingers
am I holding up?
490
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:23,623
- [slurring] That's right,
get a good look.
491
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,026
I'm your Husky Queen.
492
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,161
- I got ya. Whew!
493
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,564
Come on, Ellen.
I got the aspirin.
494
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,099
- Well, you almost prevailed.
495
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,134
- Yeah, that would've
played out different
496
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,471
if Spitsy hadn't fallen in love
with the wooden dog.
497
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,640
- You need backup when
you tell your dad the bad news?
498
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,343
- No, this is my fault.
499
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,943
I got to come clean.
500
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,517
Uh, Dad?
- Yes, my wonderful son?
501
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,817
- I maxed out the credit card
502
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,085
and then tried to win
that weird sled-dog race
503
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,820
to pay the money back.
And--
504
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,655
Well, who could've known Spitsy
505
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,458
was such a hopeless romantic?
506
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,159
- Yeah, I knew.
507
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,795
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why are you being so calm?
508
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,497
Are you about to snap?
509
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,199
- Because this stamp,
right here,
510
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,536
is a rare misprint
that's apparently worth
511
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605
over $15,000.
512
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,973
- Yes! So we can sell it and
pay down your credit card debt?
513
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,609
I mean, my credit card debt.
514
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:21,113
Hey, um, I--I'm sorry
I messed up, Dad.
515
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,349
I'm really glad
we could work this out.
516
00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:25,217
Um, thanks.
517
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,920
- Thank your sister
for spotting the misprint.
518
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,955
She bailed us both out.
519
00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:31,089
- Ellen?
520
00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,460
- You're annoying,
but we're family.
521
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,461
And we've got to
stick together.
522
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,498
Plus, I knew Dad would never
be able to pay down the debt
523
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:41,800
between his limited skills and
non-existent career prospects.
524
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,371
- [laughs]
She's right.
525
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,638
That would've been a disaster.
526
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:50,241
- So, that profit left over...
527
00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,378
you know that stamp
was a gift to me.
528
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,614
- Have we talked about
your punishment yet?
529
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,449
- Whatever money is left
should go to you.
530
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:58,785
- I love this family.
531
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,219
- Dad, don't lean
on the cabinet.
532
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:04,824
- Yep, best birthday ever.
533
00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,898
- [yodeling]
534
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:19,905
* *
35198
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