All language subtitles for Bar.Fight.2022.WEBRip.x264-ION10English

-♪ Tis the season to be happy

♪ Joy is everywhere

♪ It's that jolly holiday

♪ You can feel it in the air

-♪ Christmastime

♪ Christmastime

-Final offer, Steve.
Take it or leave it.

-I can do this all day, Missy.
I've survived worse than you.

-And I can hold a tree pose
for two hours.

Don't fuck with me, old man.

-Fine. $10.

-Attaboy. Sold!

-He finally folded, huh?
-Oh, yeah.

-Not even Father Time
can wear Nina down.

-Thank you?
-She's formidable,

even for an ancient ass like me.

-Don't fret, Stevo.

Every purchase comes with
a complimentary hot toddy

with sage honey

and a fresh lemon
from the backyard.

-Don't mind if I do.
-They are delish.

Allen doesn't mess around
with this housewife thing.

You should see his needlepoint.
-It grounds me.

I don't have the constitution
for bargaining.

-You all are adorable.

You ever gonna grow up
and get hitched?

-Ha ha. No.
-No. We broke up.

-♪ Tis the season to be happy

♪ Joy is everywhere

♪ It's that jolly holiday

♪ Good tidings we share

♪ With a ringing you can hear

-♪ Christmastime

♪ Christmastime

-♪ That merry time of year

-♪ Is here

-Bitch, stop lying to me.

-I'm not lying. I'm fine.

-Oh, my God.
You're not a cyborg, Nina.

You went through a breakup.

But you know what?
Whatever. You do you.

You're in your prime.
Allen's history.

So, yeah, go out there
and ruin some dicks.

-Wow. I'm changing the subject.
How are my baby girls?

-They suck.
Don't ever have kids.

-Oh, no.
What happened this time?

-I came home with a Frosty,

but it had
a plastic straw in it.

And the girl starts screaming
at me like, I don't know,

I murdered a sea turtle
in front of her own children.

-Oh. How was the Frosty?

-Oh, so worth murdering
that sea turtle.

-Alright, let's go up
to my place.

I want to change
out of these work clothes.

-How was work, by the way?

Did you make any big deals
with any big-deal celebrities?

-Who cares?
I don't want to talk about work.

-Yeah. I don't care.
I was just being nice.

-That's what I thought.

-Remember that girl
I was dating, Cleo?

-Yes.
-We dated for three months.

And when we broke up,
she lit my shoes on fire?

My fucking Georges, man.
My 23s. You remember that shit?

-I said I remember.

-You date a girl
for, like, five years.

And when you break up, there's
no fight, no blowout, nothing.

-Yeah, but we never fought, man.
You know this.

We just sat down
and talked about it

and decided it wasn't working
out, so we called it.

I don't see what is so hard to
understand about that.

-Because it doesn't make sense.
Do you understand this?

-I don't.
but I am willing to learn.

I don't know why I said that.

-Luckily, it won't be necessary
for the job, William.

-Disagree.

You've got to teach this
to all men everywhere, right?

-Yes. Y-Yes.

-Well, I think that concludes
the interview.

-Okay. Thank you so much again
for the opportunity.

I'm a really big fan
of you guys, so, you know,

I would kill to work with you.

I mean, not literally,
obviously,

but, like, you know.
-Not literally?

-What?

-He's fucking with you, Willie.
Fucking with you, man.

Hey, look,
you did a good job, man.

Alright, let us talk it over
and we'll get back to you.

-Thanks again. Thank you.

-Watch the chair.
-Yes, right.

-I dig him.

He's like a chocolate
Clark Kent,

and his work is impressive.

-Yeah, he's a little green,
though, right?

-So? I say we hire him.
We need some young blood

if we're gonna be collaborating
with Uniformity L.A.

Don't give me that, "Oh, well,
we need to talk about it."

Look, I'm telling you,
I see a huge opportunity.

They be making moves in the
interior-design space, bro.

-Yeah, I hear you, man.

Can we just pump the brakes
a little?

It's kind of a lot right now.

Maybe I can think about it
over the holidays. Is that cool?

-Totally fine. It can wait.

-Thank you.

Now...
can we please get me a drink?

-You ain't said nothing
but a word.

Let's get the fuck out of here
and get drunk.

-Right. It's the holidays.

So that should give you
plenty of time

to work out
your best and final offer

because if we start the new year

and you haven't met
my client's demands,

she will be taking
the studio gig.

Okay? Merry Christmas.

Done. Officially done.

Ahh, now I just need
my cocktail.

Mason works Friday nights,
and he makes the best --

What? What?

-Nothing.
-Something.

-It's not gonna be
the easiest garment to take off.

-Oh, Jesus, Chels.

-Are you a nun or something?

Hey, did you get
on a dating app finally?

-Yes, but I haven't
checked it yet.

-What? Whip that shit out.

-Fine.
Here, you can look.

-Wow.
A lot of power.

Nina, you have 50 messages.

-Really?
-50.

-Oh, my...Oh, come on.
They're just --

They're all trying
so hard, though.

Like this dude. He's got
better eyebrows than I do.

-You know, I appreciate that.
It means he manscapes.

Wait. Whoa.

Look at this guy, Alexander.
Hello!

-Is that a real person?
-He is delicious.

Yes! There she is.
There's my little vixen.

-Alright, settle down. Okay?

You know what?
This is great right here.

Thank you so much.

-Hey, Nina! Nina!
Stop living in denial.

-Denial of what?
-Dick.

You're living in dick denial.

-Wow. I can't with you.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Stop. Listen.
Real talk.

I spend my life buried
under two little demons

who are sucking me of my
life force every given second.

I love my husband.
You know I love my husband,

but he's basically just a pile
of foreskin at this point.

By the way,
Dex isn't circumcised.

I can't believe
I never told you that.

It's a really long,
infuriating story.

Anyway, look, I don't mean to be
that psychic friend

who's like,
"Yes, girl, get laid

so I could live vicariously
through you."

But, yes, girl, get laid

so I can live vicariously
through you.

I need this, okay?

I need something
to make me feel alive.

No one sucks on my tits anymore,
which is a shame,

because I was an "A"
before I got pregnant.

And now I'm a "G"
and it's a waste!

Please, I need you to help me.

And you can by boning the shit
out of that guy

and giving me every detail.

-Should I just film it for you?
-Oh, my God.

I wouldn't say no to that.
-Oh, wow.

-Oh, you were joking?

I mean, it seems reasonable.
I'm your best friend.

-How much do you love me?
-It depends. Why?

-Well, it's just my girl,
Angela's, coming over

your house on Sunday,
and she's bringing a friend --

a recently single friend.

-Oh, shit.
I forgot to tell you.

We're watching football
at Nina's.

-Nina's?
-Yeah.

-Wait.

Please don't tell me
you gave her the flat screen.

-Game day's her thing.
It makes sense.

-Hey, man,
none of this makes sense.

-I'm not gonna hate-bang some
guy to get over Allen. Okay?

-Oh, my God.
Why the hell not?

-Because there's nothing
to get over.

-It's a gorgeous piece
of human innovation.

-It's easy. We just...

-Let me guess.
You talked it out.

-Hey, Mason.
-You can be an adult...

-What's up, Nina?
First time without...

-Hey, Mason!
-Allen?

-Ew. What the fuck
are they doing here?

-Oh, sh...

-Yeah.
And so when your order comes up,

you just grab your food here.

If you have any questions,
just ask Elena.

Oops.
-Oopsies.

-Oopsies.
Elena runs the kitchen.

Elena. Elena.

New server, Autumn.
Autumn. Elena.

-Hi.
I love your apron.

-Oh. She's shy.

-Excuse me.
I just have one quick question.

-Yeah?
-Sorry. Do --

Do a lot of celebrities
come in here?

-I mean...yes.

-Shh, shh, shh.

We do not think of them
as celebrities per se.

They're customers,
just like everybody else. Yeah?

-It's just that, um,
I'm a singer...

-Oh, no.
-...and I act, too.

And my cousin says
that I have the perfect

complexion for the screen.

And he is an influencer
and a pastor.

-Okay. Look, I am aware
that most people working here

are pursuing other passions,
but I just want my employees

to keep their pursuits
to themselves.

I don't want to come across
like a...

-Like a biscuit boy.
-...lame-o.

But, you know,
I run a tight ship. Yeah?

-Captain.
-Dick! What the fuck?

-Jaz. Hey.

-I ain't working the bar
on New Year's?

-Oh, just because Mason covered
your shift last week.

And so since he did us
a favor...

-Bullshit, that's my shift,
and you know it.

-Okay, maybe we could talk it
over with Mason and see...

-You're the manager.
Change it.

-Yeah. Yeah, I'm the manager.
-Good!

Who are you?

-Oh, hi. I'm Autumn.
I love your shirt.

-Of course you do.
It's fucking adorable.

You from Florida?
-How'd you know?

-Low-rider jeans, baby.

-Oh.
-They're Silvers.

-They're jeans.
-Wow. Silvers.

-Maybe I should get her some.
-Don't do that.

Tyler.
Everything okay?

-We might have a problem.

-I'm not going anywhere.

-Uh, yes, you are.
This is my bar.

And I brought Chelsea out for us
to have a good time tonight

so you and Milan
can go somewhere else.

-Well, that sounds lovely.

And that's actually why Milan
and I are here

because this is actually my bar.

What makes you think that?

-Maybe because I found it,
so I have first dibs.

-That's hilarious.

You stopped in
to take a piss, Allen.

You were literally
just following your dick.

-Right. My dick found it first,
and I'm attached to my dick.

-Boom.
-What am I looking at?

-Didn't you hear?
Allen and Nina broke up.

-Oh, no, man.
They're so great together.

-And now they're over there
trying to see

who gets to stay a regular here.
-They famous?

-No. This is Autumn,
our new server.

This is Tyler,
head of security.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Not famous. Just two
of our favorite regulars.

-Allen, you know how much
I love this place.

Why can't you just
let me have it?

-I love it here, too.

And I let you have everything,

including the 80-inch
flat screen.

-I didn't ask you for things
that you cared about,

like the bar cart or tools
or the surfboards.

-Those are literally things
you never use.

And by the way,
who doesn't care about

an 80-inch flat screen.

-Milan.
-What's up, Chelsea?

-Still vegan?
-Only on the weekdays.

I'm Keto starting Fridays
at 5:00 p.m.

-I want my bar.
-What?

-I said I'm Keto starting
Fridays at 5:00 p.m.

Keto. You heard Keto?

-Yeah.
No, I heard what you said.

-They even named
a cocktail after me.

-Yes, as a joke.

Because you made changes
every time you ordered it.

-Hmm. It needs more gin.

Oh, my God. Too much gin.

Do you use fresh lemon?

Mm. There it is.

There it is.
There it is.

-You're so oblivious, you don't
even realize you're saying it.

It's amazing.
Ask Mason.

-Okay. Well, at least
it's not as bad as the Allen.

-Oh, very convenient.

What, pray tell, is the Allen?

-Your hugs.
-My hugs?

What's wrong with my hugs?
I'm from Montana. We hug.

-Yeah, but yours are weird.
Like creepy-uncle weird.

-Unh.

Unh.

Unh.

-Wait. That's creepy?
-Oh, yeah.

-But it's just a goodbye squeeze
to let you know the hug's over.

-Or you can let go
like human people do.

-Talk about oblivious.
-You know what?

If you and Chelsea want to paint
the town red

in your fancy skydive outfit,

why don't you just go
to the Saddle Ranch?

-Well, why don't you and Milan
go troll for sluts

at a nightclub
in your decade-old dad jeans?

-Okay, I think you need to --
-Tell me to calm down, Allen.

I fucking dare you.
-I'm just saying,

I think you probably need...
-Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay, uh, that's enough.

Let's go to the patio.

-What?
-You heard the man.

-No. Guys, we're open.
Someone has to watch the bar.

-New girl, you ever
bartend before?

-I'm a fast learner.
-Good enough for me. Let's go.

-No.
Maybe you should work for me.

-Patio.

Everybody off to the patio.
-No free pouring.

-Anybody need anything?

Ah, okay.

-Alright, guys.
We love you both.

So let's figure something out.

Tyler, you are the mediator.
What do you got?

-It feels best to find
a compromise

that serves both.

I say we make a team effort
and we all toss our solution.

There are no bad ideas.
I'll start.

How about if we divide up times,
switch up nights?

-We're not quibbling
over visitation rights.

It's a fucking bar, not a kid.

-Okay, then, well,
what if we let the staff vote?

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

That might put my staff
in an uncomfortable position.

-I'm fine with it. You guys?
-Yeah.

-Okay, then. Maybe anonymously.
Secret ballots.

-Count 'em up.
-Okay, great.

All those in favor
of my man Allen staying?

-Allen!

-Wh--
-Don't guilt my golf buddy.

-Okay. Why the fuck
did you vote for him?

-Oh, it's financial.

I clean him up every month
on poker night.

-Thanks, Jaz.
-Thank you, Allen.

-Okay. Okay,
everyone for Nina.

-Sorry, Allen.
-It's okay.

Nina introduced him to his wife.

-Where did she just come from?

-Niners fans ride
and die together.

-Okay, well, that leaves Dick.

What say you?

-Yeah.

-I...Well, I...

It's against company policy.

-Hey. Sorry to bother you.

Mason, what is in a Cape Cod?
-It's a vodka cran.

-What? Why don't they
just ask for that?

-Welcome to Los Angeles.
-Okay.

Oh, were you all doing
the best of three?

-What the hell's
the best of three?

-Oh.
So at my last bar job in Tampa,

there would be lots
of bar fights and stuff.

So the owner would just have
people do

a best of three competition,
and the loser was 86'd.

Anyway, have fun.

-That might fly down in Florida,
but not here. Right?

-Also not very fair to Nina.

-And why is that?

-'Cause I was literally
a college athlete.

You played baseball
at a D-3 school.

Okay? I'm an attorney.
I fight for a living. Bring it.

-Okay.
Fine. Let's do this.

-Okay. Okay, guys, guys, guys,
wait, wait, wait.

Let's just take a second here.
Okay?

Look, I am thinking
of a number 1 through 11.

-You know, they have been
coming here for years.

-Ohh.
-Seems fair.

Tyler, what do you say?

-It does sound like
a balanced approach.

-Well, who am I to argue, then?
-Okay. Okay. Okay.

I see what's happening here.
But this is a business.

I'm sorry, but the answer is no.

-And that's my final word.

How does it work?

-First we have people write
down challenges

for Tina and Dan.
-Nina and Allen.

-Then put them in a hat,
mix them up.

Flip a coin, see who goes first.

-Y'all are serious.

-The winner gets to pick
the first challenge

and whoever wins best two
out of three gets to stay.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
-Ladies first.

Big Wheel races.
-Yes!

Yes!
-You!

-Wait. What's that?

-Haven't you been here before?
-Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I've been busy keeping
two people alive

for the past six years,

so I don't have time to fuck
around all weekend like you.

-You could've just said
you haven't seen it.

Damn. I guess I'm gonna go
fuck myself over here.

-It's a race.
One lap around the bar

and then you chug
a beer in that.

-Oh, Jesus.
I have been missing out.

-Well, then let me
get you up to speed,

because this here is my thing
and Nina knows it.

-Okay, well, whatever.

I get to choose our drink.

None of your IPA nonsense.

-Whatever helps take the sting
out of your defeat.

-Huh? Huh. Say it again,
say it again.

-Alright.

-Good luck, homie.

-Do I look like I need luck?

-You okay?
You need me to kill anyone?

-No, I got a couple of tricks
up my sleeve.

-Ooh.

-I'm good.
-Okay, bye.

-Go, team!
-Alright, here we go.

One lap, one beer.

Are you ready?
-Your fly's down, Allen.

-Get set, go!
-Sure it is.

-When did you know
my fly was down?

-When you came through the door,
you lumbering dipshit!

-Gentle, gentle, gentle.

-[Voice distorted
Someone needs to be done!

-Here we go, Nina.

-Come on.

-Oh!
-Ha ha!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh! Whoo!

-I'm trying, Tyler!

-Cheers, darlin'.

-Oh, come on, man.

-Something wrong, Allen?

-Cider.

-Yeah, that's right.
Hard cider.

-Oh, my God. I love this.

I have no idea what's happening,
but I fucking love this.

-Did I ever tell you about
the Thanksgiving Day massacre?

-You did not.

-Oh, fuck.
-Fuck.

-This is a bad idea, Allen.

-What? It's just cider.

Consider it my dessert.

-Yeah. This is a day
for gluttony.

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Boom!

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Game over, bitch.
-Why? Why?

-She got both balls
in the same cup!

She wins!
You got to drink 'em all!

-Drink up.
-Happy Thanksgiving, Allen.

Told you I had some tricks
up my sleeve. Cheers, Allen.

-Go! Go!

Take control, man.
It's all in your head.

-Go! Go, Nina.
You can do this.

You can do this. Go.

-It's so sweet.
Why is it so sweet?

-Stop fucking talk and drink!

Chug! Chug! Chug!
-Oh, shit, he's catching up.

Open your throat
and toss it back.

-Oh, you are being a pussy.
-That can't be a thing.

-Trust me, I was in a sorority.

I put things in my throat
all the time!

-Put the damn thing
to your lips, man.

Allen! Allen!

-Yeah!

-Fuck!
-That was awful.

Ugh. Tastes like Smarties
mixed with Pedialyte.

Tiny bubbles.

One down and one more to go.
-Yeah!

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Whoa.

-This is a brand-new shirt.

-Uh...he didn't finish.

-What?
-She's right.

-Y'all are chugging one on one.

If anybody yaks,
they got to chug a new one.

Down the hatch.
-Please no.

-Nina, go, go.
-Go, go, go!

-Winner!
-Winner! Yes! Yes!

That's what you get.
That's what you get.

You little bitch.
-Okay. Okay.

Give the man some room.

So mean. Come on.

-I love you so much.
You were so great.

-Jaz. Jaz. Hey.

Hey. How are you?
-What's up? What's up?

-Yeah. Could you take care
of that, please?

It smells like
all the bad things. Right?

Together.

-Yeah. Yo, Florida.
-Yes.

-Job security.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Taking care of, boss.

-Can we not do this?

Milan knows all
the cool, new bars.

You can literally pick
any one you want.

Why fight for this place?

-Okay, so you're a crazy person.
-I'm a realist.

They're basically mini lions
who were never domesticated.

They only allowed people to
give them free food and shelter.

And one day,
I believe they will kill us all.

Happy Valentine's Day.
-Happy Valentine's Day.

Okay.
So you're not a cat person.

-No. Why are you?

-They're low maintenance and
they catch mice and I hate mice.

-Oh, thanks, Jaz.
-Thanks, Jaz.

-Mm-hmm.

-Well, if we ever get a pet,
it's gonna be a dog.

Sorry. Or a pig.

-Hey. If it's good enough
for George Clooney,

it's good enough for me.

-That's what I'm saying.
Wait a minute.

Did we order this?
-Um...

-Hey, Jaz.
-What's up?

-So we didn't order...
-Don't trip.

Elena's got you.
So just sit back and enjoy.

-I think maybe
we're regulars now?

-Hmm.

Sweet.

-I guess I'm just
a glutton for punishment.

-Alright.
Well, it's your funeral.

-Guys, check that one out.

-Just remember to be respectful,
Cameron.

-Oh, of course.
Whatever you say, bro.

-Round two, baby.

-Here we go.
Wah, wah, wah.

Yo, how's Dick holding up,
by the way?

-I mean, he popped open
his Tums,

so won't be long before
he asks for his first drink

and then we can finally
break a chill.

By the way, where's my...

-Oh, I got you.

-I love you, man.

-Mm mm mm mm mm.

-Saw that.

-Uh-oh.

Are you jealous, Tiffany?

-Jealousy is the tribute
mediocrity pays to the genius.

-Damn.
Did you just make that up?

-I saw it on a mug in Venice.

-That's a pretty insightful mug.

-It was in Venice, so it was $50

and it didn't have
any alcohol in it.

So...
-That's criminal.

Well, I don't have any mugs,
but I do make a mean cocktail.

-Well, that's more like it.
-Alright, I shall return.

-Okay.

-Yah.

What does fate
have in store for you?

-Blind man's darts?

What are those?

Alright, y'all, so it's pretty
straight forward.

Three darts each.

Your partner tells you
where to aim.

Highest total wins.

-Uh, Jaz. Pardon me.

Hey, guys.
Very exciting.

Jaz, can I talk to you
for a second?

-Sure.

Hold up, guys.

-It's just gonna be --

I'm just not super comfortable
with the whole blindfolds thing.

You know, it's a bit
of an insurance nightmare.

Right?
So might I suggest --

-Hold. 'Sup, water?
-Hi. Captain.

So I don't know the numbers
of any of the tables.

Could you show me?
-Oh.

-They need drinks, like now.

-Okay.

-My bad. You were saying?

-Well, actually, Jaz, I would
rather her shadow you

and you take over.
-Do you want to train her?

-No, I want you to train her.
-Right.

-Right.
-Great. We're in agreement.

-W-- Ow.

-So it looks like the woman
over at seat 23

is stealing copper cups again.

-Did you say again?
-Did it last week.

Told her this behavior is gonna
lead her down a dark path.

-Oh.

-She doesn't want
to listen to me.

She might listen to you, though.

-Good luck with that.

-Alright.

Let's do this.

-Alright, everybody.

Let's play some fucking darts,
y'all!

Whoo! Yeah!

Ooh.

-There.

Okay, so you're looking
at a large circle,

and there's a circle...

-I know what a dartboard
looks like, Chelsea.

Tell me where to aim.
-Oh, my God.

I'm just trying to paint
a picture for you.

I haven't done this before.
Okay?

-You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay? I'm just stressed.
-I'm stressed, too.

-Okay. Just use visuals
that we both know.

-Okay. Okay. Oh, you know
my dining room table?

-Uh-huh.
-Okay. It's --

The distance between you and the
dartboard is the length of that.

-I can totally see that.
Okay.

-Yeah!
-Damn it.

-So my dining room table --
-No, I get it, Chelsea.

-Hi. I'm the manager.
My name is Dick.

Oh, of course it is.

-Slight breeze blowing

south by southwest.

-We're inside.

-Trust me, it's subtle,
but it's there.

Visualize.

Execute.

Ho ho! 6 points!

-Yeah!
-Way to go, Allen!

No one makes it
on the first try.

-I feel like Luke Skywalker.

-I'll be your Obi-Wan, bitch.
Ah!

-You know, it's actually
about Allen's height.

So picture his face and hit it.

-Oh. Fuck. So close.

-It's okay.
We still have one more.

-Listen, if I could just have
our property back,

I'd really,
really appreciate it.

-I-I don't have your prop--
-I think --

Maybe in...
-No.

-No, just by an accident.
-I need you to watch your tone.

-Right.

-Okay. Put yourself in the same
place as you were before.

Alright?
You got to believe in yourself.

Believe.

-Jesus!
-Shit!

-Definitely a breeze.

-Yeah, definitely, yeah.

-Don't forget.
It's your last dart, Nina.

-What is that supposed to mean?

-Nothing. Just make it count.

-Wait, wait, Nina, wait.

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Yes!

-What's that, a 40 to your 6,
Allen?

You better make it count.

-Just like Colby.

The more you talk shit,
the better she performs.

-R.I.P., Mama.

Also, if you knew that,
why in the shit would you speak?

-I am leaving.
-Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.
-You're -- You're touching.

-I-I apologize. I cannot let you
leave. I just...

If you could just hand me
back my mugs, I promise

I will not press charges.

Fair?

-What did you say to me?

-Don't worry, Allen.
It'll be over soon.

Who knows? Maybe they'll name
a cocktail after you.

-Oh, or maybe they'll
make special Allen koozies.

-Oh, yeah, that's good.

You know,
to commemorate your creepy hug.

-Hey, stay focused.
Right?

I want you to see the win
in your future.

Okay?

Be the dart.
I want you to fly.

Okay? Fly like the wind.
Fly like a hummingbird.

You know, searching at
the center of that sweet nectar.

Right?
I want you to be --

-I simply --
-Stay.

-Easy. Everybody, easy.

Please with the monks.
-Hey, stay.

-Easy. I got this.
I got this.

Can you help, please?

Yes!

Here's your mugs!

-No!!!!
-No!!!!

-I...I am certified on Yelp.

-Oh, boy.
-And you and all of you

are going down in flames,
motherfucker.

Yes, because I know... only.

-Everybody, it's all fine.
Don't take...

-Oh, God. Don't -- just stay.
-No.

-I'm gonna take a chair dip.
Give me that thing.

The copper thing.
That better be real, Dick.

-Don't hand it to her, please.
-Just put it on the tray.

-You do not need
the pizza cutter.

-Don't follow me, Dick.
-Okay.

-Oh, crazy. Is it heavy?
-I-I...

-Wonder what her story is.

-Mason, can I have a...

See? This is what
I'm talking about.

You always know
what people need.

This is a great quality
for a manager. People listen.

-You want another one?
Yeah.

-Okay. So where were we?

-Out of wood.
And he hit the bull's-eye

before that crazy lady
blew up the board.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What bull's-eye?

-What? You saw it.
Both of you did.

-I don't know what I saw.

-Nina, come on.
Don't be like...

-Like what?

-I know you don't like to lose,

but you don't have to stoop
to her level.

-Oh, so now I'm a factor
in this, okay?

-Yeah. What the hell
does that even mean?

-You know exactly what it means.
-I'm what, I'm what, Allen?

I'm outspoken.
I'm opinionated. I'm a lot.

What? What sexist bullshit thing
am I specifically? Tell me.

-It's not sexist.

You're not a nice person, okay?

I'm just being honest.
Sorry.

-No, no, no. you don't get
to talk about

my best friend like that ever.

You hear me?

-I won that game.
-You can't prove it.

-What is this, court?
Forget it. Whatever.

I pick a different challenge.
I'm not doing this one again.

-Fine.

-What are you doing?
We have him right where --

-Stop. He won.
You know he did.

Still, he doesn't get to make
my best friend

feel like an asshole.

-To be fair,
I am kind of an asshole.

-Yeah, but only
I got to say that.

-Hey. Way to stick
to your guns, man.

I didn't want to bring this up,

but Uniformity L.A.
reached out again.

-What are those ass clowns
applauding?

-Hmm.
-Oh, my God.

Message Alexander.
Get him here.

-No.
-Oh, my God.

You don't have to fuck him.

At least not yet.
It's for leverage.

Imagine the look on Allen's face

when he sees you
with that demigod.

He will fold
like a lawn chair.

All's fair, hmm?

-And they're talking about
giving us marketing dollars

for the next two years.

That's huge. I mean,

we got to sit down with them
before they change their minds.

-Uh, Milan, I just have bigger
fish to fry right now.

So if we can talk about that
after the holiday...

-Okay. Yeah. Okay.
But first thing after --

You okay?

-Whoa. That was fast.
Thirsty much, Alexander?

-Christ, I'm sweating.

-Oh, my God.
I cannot wait to see

the look on Allen's
face when he walks in.

-Nina, hey.

-What now?

-I was way out of line
back there.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what came over me.

-Thanks.

Still gonna kick
your ass, though.

-Let's get to it.

-Alright.

Human bowling.

-Human? As opposed to what?

Alright.
Who's ready for the showdown?!

-Human bowling.
Nice choice.

-I didn't write the damn thing.

-I have a hunch who did.

-So, Elena I just happened
to have one of these in her van?

Okay.

-Hey, this is fun.

I feel like I'm loading you
into, like, a space shuttle.

Like, well,
Like a catapult or something?

-Well, I'm glad
you're having fun.

-Yes.

-Who knows?

After this, Allen might be
out of the running.

-Oh, Chelsea,

-I am not hoping he'll die.

Just that he'll go to the E.R.,
something like that.

-Oh, my God.

-Just the E.R.
-Alright.

Come on, Milan,
send it or me.

-Three, two, one.

Engage!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, yes!

-Four pins, baby!

You crushed it, man.

Hey, man, you was like
a red fireball, man.

Hey, I was scared, man.
I almost shit myself.

-Great fucking roll.

-Oh, my God.
That dude is so right.

This is amazing.
I can't thank you enough.

This is the best
Christmas present ever.

No, no, no.
That's not going to be --

that's not going to be --
it's not going to that bad --

bad for you like that,
no.

Milan, get back here and help me
get out of this thing.

-This thing freaks me out.

-Um, I'm the one that's strapped
into this nightmare.

Okay? Just aim straight.

It can't be that hard.
-Okay, okay.

Uh, alright. It's my time.

Uh, I'm not going to count,
I guess.

I'm just gonna --
I'm gonna go for it.

-Okay.
-Sorry, I haven't --

-I'm -- I'm -- I'm really
triggered right now.

You know, I had this uncle
who went on this homemade

roller coaster in Germany,
and it messed up

his inner ear fluid permanently,
and it gave him vertigo.

And now he's in a wheelchair.
-This is not the time, Chelsea.

-Okay, okay.
I'm sorry. Okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay!

-4-3, our winner!

-You having fun, man.

-I mean,
nothing matters.

-You know, some things matter.

Like my new year shift.

-Hi. Hi.
Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi.

-Well, that sucks.
That sucks so bad.

-Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

-Oh.

Oh, it's Dex.

Do you mind if I...?
-Yeah, it's fine.

Tell him I said hi.

-Hey, loser.

-I hate you.
I hate it so much.

-Let me help you out of that.

-Okay.

-Hey, hon.
How's the girl's night?

-Oh, we're on the way
to our second gang bang,

so we're running kind of behind.

-That's nice. Hey, don't draw
on daddy's suit, please.

Thank you.

So, the girls want to watch
a documentary

on the floating trash island.

Do you know where we keep
the Apple remote?

'Cause...

-Thanks.

Did you spit in this?

-Well, yeah.

Looks like they're
enjoying the show.

-Totally.

-No way.
There's a remote on my phone.

Are you sure about that?

-Yes, for fuck sake.
Okay, just go away.

Let me say goodnight
to the demons.

-Hey, girls,
come say goodnight to Mommy.

-Hi, Mommy.
-Where's Auntie Nina?

-We miss you.
-Are you coming home?

Are you?
-Hi, my nightmares.

I barely remember you,
and Nina's dead,

and hopefully not.

-Oh, my God, Chelsea.
You were right.

Girls, I got the TV to work

-It's almost damn time, Dad.

-Yeah, Dad.
-Love you, Mommy.

-Yeah, you better make us
breakfast, Mom.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Hey, word to the wise.

Condoms don't do shit.

Want to be safe?
Just stick to anal.

-I'm experimenting here,
but don't hold back.

I want your honest opinion.

-I'm going to give you
my honest opinion.

-Alright.

My Lord.
-Yes.

-You're like a mad scientist.

-I aim to please.
-I can see that.

Well, when you open
your own spot,

this one goes on the menu.

-My own spot? Uh...
-Yeah.

You're cute, but crazy.

-Is that crazy?

What? You're good at it,
so why not?

I mean, you could finally be
free to do your own thing.

-Oh, this is freedom.

Actually running a bar?

My days would be consumed
with admin bullshit,

and I'd miss out on all the fun.

Like tonight,
not to mention

all the interesting people
like you.

-Well, I guess some of us have
to keep the party going, right?

-Precisely.

Excuse me.
-Okay.

-Looks like you're having fun.

-Bro, she's rad, man.

Gone a couple of dates now.
-Okay.

I met a lot of girls,
but I think I found a match.

-She is fine
with the capital F.

-Oh, my God.
-Give me some. Good job.

-Yes, indeed.

-Yeah.
What do you want?

-Give me a couple of beers.
-Oh, okay.

-Oh, hold on.

And a charge.

-Yeah.
-People here are so nice.

-Just remember, hip pocket.
-Hip pocket.

-Yeah.
-Okay, I'm not going to forget.

Alright, I'll be right
back with your drinks.

-Hey, Autumn?
-Yeah.

-You know that guy?

-That is a talent agent,
and he says he wants

to hip pocket me.

Hip pocket.
How cool is that, Sam?

-This is why I keep the suit on.

Actresses are everywhere.

I guarantee she hooks
us up with a round

every time we're here.

At least till she gets fired.

-This place is fast.

-It's going to get even better.

Was talking to Dick about
bringing in some live music.

-What now?

-So, I've been working
with some musicians,

and they're looking for a spot
to test out their new songs.

And this place would be perfect.

Think of how awesome it would
be here with live music.

-A lot of places
have live music.

This place has its own thing.

You don't want
to mess with that.

-I'm not trying to mess with it.

I'm trying to help it evolve.

Everything has to evolve, Allen,
or it dies.

-Not if you take care of it.

-What is that supposed to mean?

-Oh, look, it's Allen's
vestigial pal.

Hey, jokes on you?

I don't even know
what vestigial means?

-Damn it,
that's actually effective.

-What's up, homie?
You okay?

-Yeah, yeah.

Um, let's just, uh,
pick the next challenge

and get this over with.

-Yeah, agreed.

-Round three?
Sick.

Alright, let me drop this,
and I'll grab the hat.

-Excuse me.

Any of you know where
the bathroom in this place is?

-Allow me.

It's a challenge where we see
who can get

the most phone numbers
in one hour.

Oh, you are so fucked.

-Alright, save it, save it.

So, it's five minutes
till midnight.

Why don't we start
the clock, then?

-Oh, perfect,
because I want to get a drink

before the grand finale.

You know what, Nina?
We should leave them alone

to brood over the inevitable.

-Mm-hmm.

-You know, I do feel sorry
for you, Allen.

But I love how savage she is.

It's fucking hot.

-Thanks, Jaz.

-Oh, no.
Again, thank you, Allen.

See you in five.

-Hey, when's your Uber Meats
arriving?

-I didn't order any food.
-No, Alexander, Uber Meats

-Oh, oh, oh. He said 11:30,
so any minute now.

-This is going
to be glorious!

-Look, there's no reason
to freak out.

-Dude, I haven't even
thought about talking

to a woman in five years.

-Look, it's all
about confidence.

Just act like you
were talking to William.

-That was an interview.
It's not the same.

-Yes, the fuck it is.

Now, look. Drink up, man.
Chug that shit.

Man up.

-So, listen.

Now, I saw you over there
talking to my friend, Autumn.

Now, she's new to the city,
so I just want to make sure

you're being honest with her.

-Are you her dad?
Just show me the bathroom.

-I advise you to listen to me.

-Or what?
What are you going to do?

-Nothing.

But I can't say
the same thing about her.

-Shit.

-See, I'm a pacifist.

But my friend Elena here,
she's, um...

-What the fuck?

-It's fair to say
that she's not.

-Pardon me, miss.
-Oh.

-Hi. I lied to you.
I'm an assistant.

I can't do anything
for your career personally.

Mostly I just get coffee.

I'm not allowed
to answer the phone.

In here is my email.
If you message me,

I'll set up a meeting
with my boss.

She can actually help you. No
guarantees, but I'll do my best.

Also in here is a check
with a 30 percent tip.

Thank you
for your excellent service.

Good day.

-I love L.A.

-Alright, keeping this
on the DL for obvious reasons,

but this is it, y'all.

Midnight, the witching hour.

You both have until 1:00 A.M.,
last call,

Whoever gets the most numbers
claims victory.

Wingmen are highly encouraged.

Now, the loser doesn't
have to go home,

but they can't stay here.

Got it? Alright, go make
mama proud, bitches.

-Hey, do you mind
if we join you?

-It's a free country.

-Allen, don't pay attention
to them.

Alright?
Good your head in the game.

Come on.

-Yeah?

-Black leather jacket,
that's her.

-Um, hi. Hello.

-Hi.

-Hey, how --
how you ladies doing?

My name's Milan.
This is my buddy, Allan.

Would you guys mind
if we have a seat?

-So, what are you drinking?

Wouldn't you like to know?

-She would.
That's why she asked.

-I'm just messing with you.
-Oh.

-Or am I?

-Oh.

-What's happened?
-I have no idea.

-Sorry. I just, uh...

Um, you're very pretty,
and I'm sure you get this

all the time,
but I just want you to know

I'm not, like,
a serial killer or anything.

-Real high bar
you're setting there.

-It just seems like
it would be exhausting,

and my job is already --
takes a lot of effort.

-Slight improvement.

Still not great.
What do you do for work?

-Oh, he's --
he's a carpenter, yeah.

We have a business together,
so...

-I've never met
a carpenter before.

-We're not all like Jesus,
but I do enjoy fish.

Yeah, that didn't feel right.

-So, is -- is this part
of your competition?

We have eyes.

You and your ex are in some
battle royale for the bar.

Is this part of it?

-Uh...

Yes, it is, it is.

We're supposed to get
as many phone numbers

as we can in one hour.

-So, are you single or...?

-It's a complicated question.

-But it's really not, like,
at all.

-Oh, I get it.

Yeah.
You're funny.

You should, um, get my number.

-Slow down.
Buy me a drink first.

-Okay, yeah.
No, I can't pretend anymore.

-Oh, thank Christ.
-This is --

-It feels like we're stuck
in some sort of

douche who's on first time loop.

-Yes, thank you.

-Wha-- Wait.

You're leaving?

-Oh, I don't know.
Are we?

-Are we leaving?
-Or maybe we're staying.

Maybe we're staying and going
at the same time.

-Yeah, we're just messing
with you.

-We're messing with you.
-It's very complicated.

It's really complicated,
but we're going to go

or we're going to stay,
but we're going to go.

-Uh, are we going to stay?
-Like, Oh, my God.

We're going to go.
-You're terrible.

-Yeah.
-Bye, guys.

-Look, I'm sorry.
I'll just --

I'll get out of here.
-Hey.

You want my number or not?

-Uh, yeah. I mean, yes.
-Yes.

-For sure.
-Give me your phone.

-Okay.

-I like coming to this bar,
so here's the deal.

If you win, try this again.

Maybe work on some game.

-That's a big maybe, but --

-My advice, chill the fuck out.

-Will do, Amanda.

Chill the fuck out.

Dude.
-Dude.

What do I do now?
-Do the same shit again.

Do it again, do it again.

-Yeah.

-Well, there's a twist.

-Damn it.
-Okay, where's Alexander?

-He's supposed to be here.
I don't know.

-Fuck, fuck.

Oh, hey, that bro
clearly wants attention.

-Alright.
-Let's move. Just don't think.

Do whatever it takes
to get his number.

Grab his dick if you have to.
-I'm not gonna grab his dick.

-You want me to grab his dick?
-Nobody is grabbing dicks.

You got a thing with dicks,
girl.

-Hi.
-Hello.

-And that right there,
that's only some of his work.

You should swing
by the shop sometime.

-I can build you something.

-Not bad, Allen.

-So, I work in
entertainment law.

-I'll take a mojito, no sugar.

Make sure the glass
is clean this time.

What do you want?

-I have an Old Fashioned.
-She'll have an Old Fashioned.

-I'm pretty sure he heard me.
-And separate tabs.

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

-This guy. Come on.

-I got the number.
Let's go.

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

-Who wears those anymore?

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

-Hey, dude.
-What's up, Dick?

-Jaz is being all,
you know, Jaz.

Right?

I-I was hoping that
it would be okay if she maybe,

you know, took your --
your New Year's Eve shift.

Now, I mean, she's, you know --
you know how she can get

and you know how I am.
-I'll do it.

It'll be nice to have
New Year's off for once.

-Thank you so much.

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

-Fuck!

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la

Allen 6, Nina 3.

Get it out, Allen.
Congratulations, baby.

-Ah! That's what I'm
talking about, baby.

-You do what you do, baby.
Ah!

What?

Going around, going around,
going around.

Yeah.

-I have pepper spray
in my purse.

You want me to just...

-Yeah, baby Hey, man,
I'm so proud of you, man.

Hey, you did it.
I'm about to go take a piss.

And when I come back,
we gonna take a selfie.

BRB.
Hey, Mason, where my phone at?

-Well, that was one
epic battle, Nina.

I commend you on...

-So, that's it?
No more, Nina?

-I guess.
That was the deal?

-Yeah.
She put up a good fight, though.

-Alright, dudes.
Last call.

Let's get these fuckers out
of here because it's that time,

and daddy needs a cigarette

without getting dirty looks.
You know what I mean?

-Hey, could you do me
a favor first?

-Mm, what's that?

-Never call yourself daddy
in my presence ever again.

-Yeah.

-Hey, slut.
How are you feeling?

I'm feeling -- feeling great.

So good.
Why do you ask?

I'm sorry that I roped you
into this.

I know tonight was not
what we had planned.

-Oh, fuck off.

This was the most
excitement I've had

since the girls were born.

And that was a crazy time.
Three nurses quit.

-Yeah.
-I'm sorry.

-Thanks.
You know, it's funny.

Until an hour ago, I wasn't
worried about being single.

I know I'm awesome.

But if tonight was a preview
of single life in my thirties,

I mean, every guy out there
was a fucking joke.

And not to mention that this
will be the first holiday

without Allen in five years.

I don't know. All of a sudden,
the future looks so bleak.

-Well, that was melodramatic,

and some slippery
slope bullshit.

Look, you had one bad night
at a fucking bar.

Yeah, L.A.'s full of
pretentious dipshits,

but you're here.

So if you're here,
there must be other guys

who feel the same way you do.

And they're going to love
the shit out of you,

because you fucking deserve it.

-I love you.

I love you, too.

I hate to be the bearer
of more bad news,

but I got to bounce.

-Crisis at home?
-No, Dexter locked himself

out of the house again
taking out the trash,

and he's at the neighbors
waiting for me.

-He can't wake up the girls.

-No, he doesn't want to.

He'd rather just wait
for me to come home.

-That's oddly sweet.

-I know.

Ugh, I love him so much
sometimes it's gross.

-Are you sure you're going
to be okay if I leave?

-Yes.
Yeah.

-Okay.

I love you.
-I love you.

-And fuck this bar.
It's stupid.

-Yeah, fuck it.
-Yeah.

-Go.

-Alright, what do I owe ya?
-Oh, it's on me, no.

It's the least I could do
for being such a lovely company.

-You really don't
have to do that.

-Well, I know one way
you can repay me.

Looks like I'm not working
New Year's Eve.

So, how about you and I ring
in the New Year together?

-Oh, Mas, I'm --
I'm r-really sorry,

but I don't think so.

I mean, you're really charming,

and I've had
a lot of fun with you.

But if I'm being honest,

I need someone
who's a little more --

God, I hate I'm saying this --
but serious.

More serious.

-Oh. Oh, oh.

I -- I-I can --

No, I can --
I can be serious.

I can be serious.
Um...

Hmm,
I at least want to try.

-I know, but I can't be
someone's trial.

I need someone who knows.
You know?

-Yeah, I get it.
I get it.

-Thanks for understanding.

I really am sorry.

-Look, man, I just got an email
from Uniformity.

"Finally connected with Allen.

Sorry we couldn't work it out.
Best of luck to you both."

-Milan, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you.

-When did this happen?

Between which challenge
where I was helping you

did you send this email?

-Hang on.
Let's just talk about this, man.

-This -- this is beyond
shitty, man.

They reached out to me, Allen.

-Let's not forget
this is my company.

-Right, right, yeah.

I'm just the upbeat sidekick,
right?

You don't want
to take me seriously?

Definitely, you don't want
to treat me like an actual

fucking business partner.

-It's not like that, man.

It's just lately
you've been kind of...

-What? I'm what, Allen?

-Well, it's like you've been
treating the business like

it's some kind of Instagram,
Pinterest, click baity thing.

And it's not -- it's not an app.

We sell furniture.

-Right, right.

Well, you know what?

I'm out, man.

But hey, congrats, though.

You got what you wanted.

It's all you now, man.

Best of luck.

-Milan.

Milan!

Are you serious?!

Hey.

-Hey.

Are you...

Sorry.

It's not my business anymore,

and this isn't
my bar anymore, so...

You guys are the best.

-I'm still pissed
about the darts.

-Okay.

-You said you beat me.

And if that's true,
then technically we're tied,

and I can't live
with that doubt.

-What are you saying?

-Autumn, can I get
a ruling on this?

Shouldn't the winner
have to win by two?

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.
Win by two.

Mm-hmm, yes.

-Because that will make me
feel a lot better.

Um, maybe just like
a simple game

like rock, paper, scissors?

Does that work?

-Oh, totally.

That's how we do it in Tampa.

You know, so if -- if Adam wins
this challenge, then,

well, you know, game over.

But if Nina wins, whoo,
we got to go into overtime.

-Unless, you know,
you don't want to

and you want to admit
that I did beat you in darts

and that you were wrong
and lied.

Because then I'd be fine.

-How many throws?

-One, on three.

-Ooh! Boom, overtime, baby!

-What's -- what's happening?
-Hey.

-What's happening?
-Hey. Hey, Dick.

Try this new Manhattan recipe
I've been toying with.

-A new one?
-Mm-hmm.

-Oh, wait, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

I got my orders
to do tomorrow still.

-Oh, no, no, no.
You relax. Relax, bud.

I'll help take care
of those orders.

-You gonna help me?
-I'm going to help you.

-You'll help me?
-I promise.

-I'll meet you there?

-I'll be right there.

-Excuse me.

-I'm going first this time.

-Age before beauty.
Mm-hmm.

Three, two, one!

Winner!

-Hey, man, let's go!
Let's go!

-Whoo!

-Yeah!

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly

Don we...

-It's alright, babe.

-Don we now our gay apparel.

Nina, get your shit together.

-Let's see if Allen can sing
an entire Christmas song.

-Remember, it has
to be a Christmas song.

-I know, I know. Jesus.

-Has to be a Christmas song,
Allen.

♪ And a happy new year

♪ And a happy new year

-No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

You guys are hopeless.

Come on!
Wait, wait, wait.

Figgy pudding?
Is that for real?

-Yes, ma'am.
-Mason, are you serious?

-Mason knows all the lyrics.

-That he does.

-Okay, okay, okay.
Three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

Here ye, here ye, here ye!
-Three.

Somebody give me a "hmm."
Give me a...

-Hmm.
-Hmm.

♪ And never brought to mind?

♪ For old lang syne?

Dick, where you at?!
Come on, baby!

-I'm right here, baby!

-♪ We'll take a cup
of kindness yet,

♪ For auld lang syne

-I want this year
to be a fresh start for us.

-Me, too.

I want it to go back
to when it was easy.

-Yeah. It shouldn't be so hard
just to be happy.

-Yes.

I love you.
-I love you.

Yeah!
-Let's go, girl.

-That's how it's done, son.
-Let's go.

-Where did an axe-throwing
kit come from?

-Where do you think?

She's like a Mary Poppins
from hell.

Don't try and throw me off
with your flirty stare.

-I don't know
what you're talking about.

-Can I help you?

-Oh, shit.

-Alexander?
-Hi, Nina.

I'm so sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt.

I just -- the back door
was opened,

and I heard someone,
so I just...

-What are you doing here?

-Oh, well, that's
kind of hard to explain.

So I got stuck helping a friend
in an emergency.

That's why I wasn't able
to meet earlier.

I tried messaging you after,
but you weren't answering.

And I saw that on the app,
you hadn't left

this location
and it was super late,

so I came to make sure
you're okay.

-The app?
-Yeah.

Uh, this stupid dating app
has a location function.

Any normal person would think
that you left

your cellphone at the bar,
but I have three sisters.

And I know.

I can hear how crazy the sounds
now coming out of my mouth.

-No, it's okay.

It's sweet, actually,
but as you can see, I'm fine.

-And then some.

Right, I'll leave you
to whatever you're doing.

I saw nothing.
No, it's okay.

You know, actually, if I didn't
creep you out too much,

I'd still love
to buy you a drink.

Regular business hours,
of course.

-No.
Yeah.

I'll message you.

-Awesome.
Okay.

Well, have a nice night.
It's nice meeting you all.

Kind of.
I'm going to go.

-Bye.
Bye, bye.

-That was clearly interference.

-Get a mulligan.

Aah! How is that thing so heavy?

-Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

-It's fine. Looks like the flat
end just landed on him.

-Alright, alright, let's,
um, give him a hand.

Come on.
-Aah.

-It's gonna be alright.

-Easy, easy.

-Okay, okay.
Just gonna get this off.

-No, it's just bruised.

Um, do you guys have any, uh...

Yeah, that. Thank you.

Okay.

It was Chelsea's idea.

-You don't need to explain.

It's okay.

-I was just so mad.

And you --
you were being so stubborn.

I know I wasn't any better.

You're going to be fine.

-I don't want to be fine.

I want to be with you.

It's such a shame.

-Holy shit, dude!

What the fuck
is your problem?

Fuck, Dick.

-Wait, wait. Something smells.
Something smells so bad.

♪ Couples walking hand in hand

-I can't get this thing off.
-It's, like, you gotta untie it.

-Yeah, yeah.
-Untie it.

-Can you just, like, help me?

-Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it.
-Thank you, thank you

-There's no purer joy
than watching Dick's

drunken dance.

Hit that.

-Where's Autumn?

-Hey, yo, Florida,
where are you at?

-Oh, Hey.
Sorry, sorry.

What do y'all --
uh, what do y'all need?

We need you to have
a drink with us.

-Really?
-Really.

-Okay.

-That is terrible.
That's really bad. Wow.

-Dick, orders are done.

-I love you so hard.

-So, what?
You managing now?

-Just helping out a little bit.

Figure it's a good way
to start taking myself

a little bit more seriously.

-Yeah, well, you fuck
with my shifts and you dead.

Anyway, Nina and Allen, huh?

-Hmm.

-You think there'd be a better
way to figure out your issues.

-Right.
-Ever heard of therapy?

-Ever heard of couples therapy?

-Ever heard of -- of therapy?

-Hi.

-Hi.

-So...

you ready for the best walk
of shame ever?

-Oh, my God.

You ruined it.

-No.
-Yes.

Oh, this is gonna
be embarrassing.

-♪ 'Cause now I can see

-Yeah, drink it all.

-Y'all drink a lot.

-Thank you.

-No. No, no, no.
Don't be embarrassed.

Own that shit.

-Y'all fucked in the kitchen.

Welcome to the club.

-What? Oh.

-What? No one else?

-Okay, we're going to need
to talk about that.

Meantime, who wants breakfast?
Daddy's buying.

-Oh, yeah. I'm all
about that life. Let's go.

-Dick, what do we say
about saying daddy?

-Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry,
it slipped out as I was offering

to buy you your breakfast.

What about the happy couple?

-Hell, yeah.
-Nah, we're okay.

Oh, uh, I thought we were
going to my place.

-Oh, come on.
Don't be lame.

You guys know Allen.

Once he gets
an idea in his head,

there's no changing it.
-Right, right, right.

-Fine, yeah, let's go.

-I guess it's better
if I change my mind

on a whim like a windsock.

-Okay, that's insulting.

-You just called me lame.

-I was joking.
Geez, I'm sorry.

I'm just going with the flow.
Relax.

-When in history has telling
somebody to relax

ever actually made them relax?

-Says the guy who tried to tell
me to calm down earlier tonight.

-I didn't actually say it
though, did I?

-Guys, guys, we can just do
something else.

-It's breakfast, Allen.

If you don't want to hang out,
just say that.

-You always do this,
try to goad me by insulting me.

-I always do this.

We didn't etch our plans
in fucking stone, Allen.

-So you admit
we talked about it.

-Sure, we talked about it.
Yippee.

But then our friends
invited us to do something fun.

Can't you give an inch?

Can't you,
for once in your life,

be open to suggestion?

-I'm not closed off
to suggestion.

I try new things.
-Just not for me.

-Well, there is
a breaking point.

Not everything needs updating
or a Nina-once-over.

-A Nina-once-over?

-You're never happy.

There's always
a better way with you.

That's rich.

If there's any deviation
from what you planned,

it's like the world ended.

I just watched you torch
a friendship

and business partnership tonight

because you wouldn't
let go of control.

That's why we broke up, Allen.

Because you refused to grow.

-Hold on.
That's not fair.

I created a business
from nothing,

and I cultivated it
and took care of it.

There comes a time
when you have to accept

the thing for what it is.

Can't tweak it forever,
or else...

it won't be the thing you built.

-That's such a twisted way --

-You're trying to say that I
haven't evolved or whatever,

but really I've just
accepted myself for who I am.

And you don't like it,
so you broke up with me

because I'm not good enough
for you anymore.

-That's not true.

I grew up, and I wanted to try
and see new things with you.

But what I wanted
didn't matter anymore.

-Why didn't you bring up
the bar when we broke up?

-I don't know.

I guess I knew
it would upset you.

Why didn't you bring it up?

-Maybe just reminded me of when
things were good between us.

Look, I -- I want to be
with someone

who accepts me for who I am.

-And I need someone
who's willing to grow with me.

-Where does that leave us?

-Do I have to be
the one to say it?

-Say what?

-That we just don't care enough
about each other to compromise.

-Police. Nobody move.

-Oh, fuck!

-The city has pretty clear rules
on after hours consumption,

Mr. Tishwany.

Okay, we're going to need
everyone to step --

-Raymond?

Thought I recognized you.

Elena, from...

Can I talk to you?

-Sure, yeah. Sure.

-10-4, over.
We have a bar fight.

-It's under control.
Let's go.

-So, Elena...

-So, Mason?

-You want to tell us
what just went down?

-No.

-So, Elena, may I ask
how do you know him?

-AA.

Well, thank goodness for you.

-What is so fucking funny?

You realize we nearly
got shut down, yeah?

I get that it's no fun working

when other people
are having fun,

but work isn't to supposed
to be fun.

It's supposed to be work.
It's not supposed to be fun.

Honestly, I should fire you all.

I should --
I should fire myself.

I should fire myself.
No more fucking around.

You got it?

Autumn, if you want,
you can start full time tonight.

-Oh. Thank you.

-Welcome to the fam, Autumn.

-Actually, don't.
Call me Florida.

I like representing.

-Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, yes, yes, yes.

I know we didn't figure out
who gets to stay,

so I'll make it easy.

You're both 86ed.

Okay?

But also you're adults.

Why are you making us
decide for you?

Grow up.

Whatever.
I'm still hammered.

What are you guys
doing hanging around?

Clean this place up.

Good luck you two.

-Well, I'm --
-I guess we should --

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

-I'm that way.
-Yeah, I'm...

Want me to walk you?

-Sexist.

-What I said in there,
I didn't mean --

-You did.

So did I.

I just wish it didn't
come out that way.

I was...

Anyway, I'm --

I'm sorry about that.

Me, too.

But also I'm not sorry.

-Me, too.

Goodbye, Allen.

Goodbye, Nina.

♪ I'm wishing the very best

♪ Hang up the star

♪ Hang up the light

♪ And yuletide experience grow

-Hey, hey.
You got my drink?

-Yes, I do, sir.
-Nice.

How we doing?
-Really well.

I mean, Reese is ecstatic.
We gonna be busy.

-You know I love busy.
-Mm-hmm.

-Here's to the beginning
of a new chapter, my friend.

-The next chapter.

Oh, Allen.

Wanna go say hi?

-No. Um...

She looks like
she's doing just fine.

I'm happy for her.

-I'm super careful.
Don't let her get on a Vespa.

-I'll see what I can do.
-Vespas are very dangerous.

-Okay.

Shall we?

-We shall.

-But first, let me
let you see

my next mad villain plan.

-Wait, what?

-Alright?
-Yeah.

-Hey, Nina. What's up?

-It's Allen.

-Wow, the Allen?

You want to go say hello.

-No, no. I'm glad to see him
doing so well though.

Good for him.

-Is that Allen?
-Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.
-We should get going.

Our flight leaves in
a couple of hours.

-Oh, I'm excited to show you

what I got planned for us.

-Okay, remember,
I get to plan the next one.

-Okay.
Let's do it, alright.

Do it.

-I don't like her.

I still don't like her.

-Ooh.

-He seems like a nice guy.

-Yeah, he is.

-She really does look happy.

-Yeah.

Yeah, she really does.

-♪ Oh come all ye faithful

♪ Joyful and triumphant

♪ Sing choirs of angels

♪ Sing in exultation

♪ Oh come all ye faithful

♪ Joyful and triumphant

♪ Yea, Lord, we greet Thee

♪ Born that happy morning

♪ Word of the Father

♪ Now in flesh appearing

♪ Oh, come let us adore Him

♪ Oh, come let us adore Him

-♪ Oh come all ye faithful

♪ Joyful and triumphant

-♪ Come and behold Him

♪ Born the King of Angels