Original subtitles

[CLASSICAL MUSIC]

My dad and my uncle had founded Baskin-Robbins 31

Flavors, which became, in my childhood,

the world's largest ice cream company.

It was a multibillion-dollar company.

I loved eating ice cream.

What kid doesn't?

And we had unlimited amounts.

We had an ice cream cone-shaped swimming pool in our backyard.

I swam in it.

I had ice cream for breakfast sometimes.

I wasn't well.

I was ill.

I was frail.

I actually had polio when I was six, and I was in a wheelchair.

The doctor said I would be in a wheelchair the rest of my life.

But then I started to regain some feeling in my legs,

and some movement-- more on the right leg than the left--

and I could kind of get around.

When I was 21, my left leg was 3 inches shorter than the right,

and I couldn't put any weight on it.

It was very gimpy.

The doctor said, well, your growing years are over now.

You're going to have to live with this.

And I remember thinking when I heard

that, I don't think you know as much as you think you know.

I'm not accepting that prognosis.

I'm an only son, so my dad had groomed me to succeed him.

That was his plan.

And my dad was used to getting what he wanted.

He was a doer.

He knew how to manifest stuff.

And he did.

He built this empire--

this ice cream empire.

He worked 80 hours a week.

And so I didn't really have a relationship with him

much, other than through the business.

But I started working at Baskin-Robbins

when I was five years old.

I mean, all I did then was sweep the floor,

empty the waste baskets.

But he wanted me to learn the business from the inside out.

So as I got older, he would give me age-appropriate jobs.

I worked in the factory where ice cream was manufactured.

I worked in franchising, where the stores were

located and sold.

I worked in advertising and marketing.

I ran all the departments of the business.

And that was my relationship to my dad,

was we would drive together to the office, then we drive home.

We talk about the business.

I hardly knew him other than that,

because that's what his life was all about.

And that's what he wanted with me.

He didn't have much interest in anything about my feelings

or thoughts other than, what did I think about the next flavor?

And I actually liked it.

He was really good at what he did.

He was really focused.

His ability to concentrate was amazing.

Kind of yogic, in a way, although not--

didn't have the values of caring for others.

Although he wanted to make people happy,

and he thought ice cream did.

I was a product of the '60s.

I had the opportunity to work with Dr. Martin Luther King.

I marched with him.

I went to Alabama and Mississippi to be with him

and participate in the civil rights movement.

I was a kid from the north.

I was a white kid.

But to me, that was history happening.

To me, that was an opportunity to be

part of something-- to witness something

that was of immense significance.

To me, the racism in our society was abhorrent.

My dad thought, you're trying to rock the boat.

They have their own culture in the South.

You shouldn't go down there.

You should leave them alone.

They don't want you.

And then there was the war in Vietnam,

and I thought it was a ridiculously stupid idea--

the war-- and cruel.

And I opposed the war.

I protested it.

My dad was in favor of it.

So we had our differences.

And he was saying, well, you could take stores

throughout the world, and you could

build the company even bigger.

And I was thinking, yeah?

So what?

Why would I-- yes, I could.

You've built something powerful, big, strong.

I could continue that.

But my uncle-- his business partner,

my dad's brother-in-law-- died of a heart attack

at the age of 54.

He's a very big guy.

He ate a lot of ice cream.

And when he died, I asked my dad,

do you think there could be a connection between the amount

of ice cream that Burt Baskin ate and his fatal heart attack?

And my dad said, no.

His ticker just got tired and stopped working.

And then he looked at me in a certain way.

And if I could translate that look,

it said, don't ever mention that again.

And I started to think that my uncle's death

and some other things that I saw, I was starting

to think, I don't think I want to do what my dad has planned

for me, even though I was enjoying working with him,

and the company was a extravagant success,

and there was really unlimited amounts of ice cream,

and almost unlimited amounts of money, actually, coming in.

But I made a decision then.

And it was a decision that defined my life ever since,

which was to walk away from Baskin-Robbins

and the opportunity to run the company with my dad,

and eventually, to inherit it.

And I also chose, out of integrity,

to walk away from the money.

So I told my dad, because I'm not

going to do what you want me to do,

what you've planned for me to do,

I think it's honorable and respectful to you and to me

to not have any access to your money, which

has come from the company.

My dad thought I was crazy.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC]

[LIGHT MUSIC]

I've met so many people that have come to me 10 years, 15,

20 years--

arguably, you could say-- too late

to discover that what they've set out to achieve

wasn't really a part of who they are.

Often, people are saying to me, how do I find my passion?

How do I find my purpose?

Number one is we should reframe the word "find" and say,

how do we uncover it?

Because finding almost illustrates

that it's under the bed, or it's over behind the counter,

or it's in a book somewhere.

And ultimately, it's within ourselves.

So if you think about that, and you say, OK,

what if I understand who I am, therefore, what I am here to do

starts to become very evident in time.

But if you want to understand your patterns,

and you want to understand self-sabotage,

you want to understand who you are at the core, go back.

Go back and really do a deep dive in your story.

It can be incredibly cathartic, incredibly therapeutic.

It can be incredibly profound.

And what you'll find is insights into what I call your gift.

Everyone has a gift.

People call it a purpose.

Some people call it a passion.

I believe we've all got a gift within us.

It doesn't need to be necessarily found.

It needs to be uncovered.

And the greatest clues--

I believe-- in terms of what your gift is,

what you're here to do, is in your story.

So many people that have passed before us have been

generous enough to give us wisdom.

One of my favorite books is by Bronnie Ware, "The Five Regrets

of the Dying."

And the number one regret that over hundreds

of beautiful souls that she's helped pass to the other side,

it was this.

I wish I had lived a life true to myself, and not the life

that others had expected of me.

And I feel like when it comes to understanding that each of us

have a gift that we were put on this Earth for a reason,

that there never will be another one of us,

understanding that now is the time to take whatever it is

that are our passions, and our quirks, and our visions,

and bring them out into the world,

because we will never be here again.

And if we look at that as something exciting,

that we have this limited amount of time,

we're here to express our joy, express our love, to make

a difference, to contribute to others, all of a sudden,

it becomes less something to fear and more

of something that's this motivating, inspiring truth.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

What holds people back is first and foremost

a desire for comfort and ease.

That's it.

They say, well, I want to be great,

but I'm really comfortable here.

I understand this.

I'm not scared every day, or I just--

I don't want to go through that struggle.

I think the most important thing in reaching

the next level in our life is to honor the struggle.

That process is going to bring hardship.

It's going to bring frustration.

It's going to bring the unknown.

It's going to bring people making fun of you.

And instead of saying, oh, I'm so scared of that, honor it.

Go, that's part of the process.

That's going to make me smarter, wiser, better,

more kind, more capable, more confident

to go through the muck.

I work with a lot of Green Berets

and very elite military levels.

And they have this great saying they say.

You have to embrace the suck.

You have to know, this is going to suck a little bit.

All right, let's go at it, guys.

We know it's going to suck.

Just knowing that and allowing that is really important.

And now, this person who has a lot of potential,

a lot of greatness, who could go to this next level,

they don't, because they're not listening to that inside

restlessness.

That inside thing that says, come on, man.

That inside thing that says, we got to change this.

That inside thing that is scary sometimes, because it says,

we got to blow all this up because it's wrong for us.

Sometimes, it feels irresponsible to listen

to that voice, and very responsible to listen

the person says, now, be careful.

But if you're always listening to that person

or that side of you, then what ends up winning is certainty.

Because past the comfort zone is a lot of unknown,

is a lot of fear.

And there's only three psychological mechanisms

that create fear.

Number one is called loss pain.

Loss pain means, if I do that, then I'm

going to lose something I like over here.

If I go to change my diet, then I lose the foods I love.

If I quit this job, then I lose those co-workers I do like.

I lose my health insurance.

So people don't change because they're

scared they're going to lose something.

Lose something tangible, lose something intangible.

Sometimes they feel like, I'm going to lose respect.

And loss pain terrorizes people, so they stay stuck.

Because you know what?

I know this.

I don't know that.

And I don't want to lose the things I'm already

certain about in life.

A second thing that people fear is called hardship pain.

The process of changing will bring

doubt, uncertainty, discomfort.

It will bring hardship to me, where

I'm going to stretch, and learn, and retool new things.

People don't quit the job because they go, ugh,

I'm going to have to create a resume.

I'm going to have to go interview.

I'm going to have to put myself out there again.

People don't go dating because they

say those same things today.

People don't go and try to change because they say,

oh, if I want to lose weight, I'm

going to have to learn to cook new things.

I'm going to have to change my schedule to go to the gym now.

It's going to hurt.

I'm going to be sore all the time.

I don't want to do that.

That's process pain.

And then the last one is called outcome pain.

Outcome pain is, I'm scared that if I go through all of that, I

put myself out there, I try, I endure the hardship,

the grass won't be greener on the other side.

I tried all of this work, I did all the things

you told me only to be disappointed.

They're terrified of disappointment.

It's psychological warfare in their mind

going, if I do that, it might not turn out well.

And then what happens?

Well, then I lose something.

What happens if I lose something?

Then it becomes hard.

And they get trapped in this spinning loop

of fear of loss, hardship, and outcome that they didn't want.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

What helps mitigate fear, and move fear away,

is often living on purpose.

You see, people who live on purpose understand this rule--

that there is no good or no bad that happens to you

in the world.

Nothing is good, nothing is bad.

Everything is just so.

The only question you want to ask yourself

is, am I aligned with my purpose?

Is what I'm doing true to my purpose?

Now, the thing is, we are not omniscient.

We don't know if any action we are taking

is always the right action.

But the point is, we take it anyway.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

After I left Baskin-Robbins, my wife and I moved to a little

island off the coast of British Columbia,

built a one-room log cabin.

It's all we could afford.

And we lived there for 10 years.

And we grew our own food.

We were novices.

We made a lot of mistakes.

It was rugged.

But we were trying to weave ourselves back

into the web of life, and send our roots down

into the natural world.

I had grown up in what I flippantly called

an air-conditioned nightmare.

In my family of origin, roughing it meant room service was late.

But now, we were really roughing it.

We were living very, very simply.

And it was beautiful, and it was tough.

I eventually wrote "Diet for a New America,"

and I sent it to my dad.

By that time, we weren't talking too much.

There was a lot of distance.

I had made my decision, my choice, and he was hurt.

I tried to do it with as much respect for him

as I possibly could, but in essence, I

was rejecting his life work.

And that was a sad thing, and he was angry about it.

So we didn't talk too much.

But I thought he might want to know that I'd published a book,

and so I sent him a copy.

He didn't open it.

My dad at that time had become very ill.

He had diabetes.

He had very high blood pressure.

He had heart disease.

He was overweight.

His diabetes was so severe that the prognosis

was a possible amputation of a foot, or even

a leg, and blindness.

And his blood pressure was so out of control,

he had to take 10 what he called horse pills every day.

I don't know what they were, but he'd

been told he'd have to take them for the rest of his life.

My dad went to his cardiologist, and the cardiologist

leveled with him, and said, Mr. Robbins,

you're a very sick man right now.

And the best we can do for you is

try to juggle your medications, try

to control some of the side effects

that you're experiencing, and that are distressing you,

and try to make your few remaining years a little more

comfortable.

And my dad was scared.

And then he said, on the other hand,

if you were willing to change your lifestyle

and what you eat, there might be a different prognosis for you.

And my dad said, well, what do you mean?

And the physician handed him a copy

of "Diet for a New America," my book,

not knowing that the John Robbins who'd written it

was the son of his patient, Irv Robbins, the founder and owner

of Baskin-Robbins.

And my dad of course knew, because I'd

sent him already a copy of the book, but he didn't tell him.

But he went home, and now, because the book

had been blessed by the high priest of Western medicine,

he began to read it.

I'm sure he read the copy the doctor gave him,

not the copy I'd sent him that was autographed.

But he read it, and he started to make changes.

Small ones at first.

But he got results.

And then he made more changes, more results, more changes,

more results.

Fast forward two years, he's off all

the medications he'd been on.

His diabetes has gone into complete remission.

He doesn't need insulin anymore.

He doesn't even need diabetic pills anymore.

His circulation to his legs and feet is restored,

and to his eyes is restored.

He's lost the weight that he needed to lose.

His golf game has improved by eight strokes,

and he's thrilled.

And the doctor's thrilled.

And he calls me up and says, Johnny, you're

not going to believe what's happened.

I said, OK.

What's happened?

He said, it's unbelievable.

I said, all right.

What's unbelievable?

It's really not possible, but it's happened.

What, Dad?

Well, it turns out you were right.

And-- honestly, that my dad, who had achieved

this phenomenal business success,

could say to this son that rejected his life work that you

might have been right, about anything,

I respect that enormously, because that's of the heart.

That takes something.

This is a man who had it all.

He was a billionaire.

And yet, he could say to his son who walked away from it all

that you might have been right.

To me, I will always live with that joy.

Then after that, we had a rapprochement.

We began to talk about a lot of things.

There was a reconciliation between us,

and our relationship got completely renewed.

The connection was there.

The love was there.

The respect was there, both ways, reciprocal, moving.

And we were connected again.

And he lived another 20 years, most of them

very healthy ones, when the prognosis had been he

was on his deathbed.

I disappointed him so much by making a choice

that I felt was for integrity, but from his point of view,

it was a slap in the face.

And that, in the end, I was able to give him

something perhaps more valuable than had I

done the obvious thing.

And since then, I've written other books,

and had sold millions of copies of them, and had many,

many people write me and tell me that their lives had been

changed in similar ways to my dad's.

And that is so much more rewarding

and fulfilling for me.

I think we really need to redefine success

in a way that includes our hearts, and includes our love,

and includes our compassion, and includes our caring for one

another.

I think we know when we're a success when

our hearts are strong, and we live with them in a way.

And so our life reflects our hearts.

We make choices that express our love, or caring.

And then that becomes the defining aspect of who we are.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

I grew up in New Jersey in a very blue-collar family.

My parents got divorced, and there

were all these issues that happened throughout growing up.

I was actually the first in my family to go to college.

I studied business, and when I graduated

from college, the only job that really interested

me was something that was active,

so I got myself a job on the floor of the New York Stock

Exchange.

So you're standing all day long, and people

are screaming and yelling, and it's a very exciting, energetic

place to work.

Everyone was making millions of dollars,

but while they were rich financially,

they were spiritually bankrupt.

And I started hearing this small voice inside that said,

this isn't what you're supposed to do.

This is not where you're supposed to be.

And I tried to silence that voice because I had debt.

Feeling like I should be doing something else,

but I didn't know what that was was

creating a lot of stress and anxiety in my life.

And one day, I was on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange,

and I started getting a panic attack.

I remember telling my boss at the time,

I'm going to go run out and get a cup of coffee.

And I left the floor, and instead of going to get coffee,

I ran to a church.

And I sat myself down on the steps of Trinity Church,

outside the exchange, and I just started crying,

because I didn't know what else to do.

I felt all of this pressure, and fear, and uncertainty,

and self-doubt, thinking like, I have this job.

I'm getting a steady paycheck.

I should be so grateful to have this position,

and all I want to do is quit.

And I thought I was going to be a disappointment to my parents,

and to my friends, and to everyone.

And I remember calling my dad on a cell phone

and just bawling my eyes out and saying,

Dad, I don't want to disappoint you,

but I can't do this anymore.

And I don't know what the hell I want to do,

but I gotta do something else.

And he said something to me that forever changed my life.

And he said, Rie, you've worked since you were nine years old.

You started babysitting, and selling ice cream,

and working at the beach, and you've always worked.

He's like, I'm not worrying about you paying your bills.

He goes, but you have to find something that you love.

Because once you find that, it's never

going to feel like work again.

So as long as it takes you to try every different thing you

could possibly imagine, you have to keep

searching until you find it.

So if you need to quit, I'm not going to be disappointed.

But you have to do this, and you have

to find something you love.

And when I hung up for my dad, I remember

within like the next week, I quit my job,

and I went on an odyssey to find what

I was meant to do in the world.

My first step was really doing a bit of an excavation

and asking myself, what am I really interested in?

What have I always been good at?

What sounds exciting to me?

Because again, I felt paralyzed, because the thing

that I had just spent four years studying, the epitome

of the job, that wasn't it.

So looking inside, I really had two clues.

One was that I was very interested

in the world of business.

My dad was a small business owner,

so I understood what that was like growing up with him.

And the other was art and creativity.

I had always drawn, and done fine art,

and considered being an animator for Disney,

or a fashion designer.

So I was like, OK, well, how do I

mesh these two passions around business,

and small business, and something around making money,

but also, it has to be creative.

And the idea that came to me was magazine publishing.

And I got into the ad sales department of a magazine called

"Gourmet," which was part of Condé Nast,

that very big magazine publishing company.

And I remember starting and being so excited.

I'm like, oh, this has gotta be it.

And I was thrilled to be able to learn the business.

I had a great boss, and I had a great publisher,

and they were just these powerful, strong, intelligent

women.

But about six months in, I started

hearing that voice again that said, Marie, this isn't it.

And I was like, oh, no.

Not this again.

No, not this again.

I was like, wait, this has to be it.

And at this point, I have to tell you,

I really started to feel a sense of panic.

I started to feel broken.

I knew I had a ton of potential in me.

I knew I was a hard worker.

I knew I wanted to contribute to the world.

But I didn't seem to fit in to the regular corporate

structure.

So one day, I was on the internet--

probably when I shouldn't have been--

and I stumbled upon this article about a new profession

at the time called coaching.

Now, this is back in 1999.

This is well before coaching was anything in the mainstream.

And I remember reading this article,

and something in my heart lit up like nothing ever before.

It really was one of those moments where

it feels like the clouds parted, and the angels were singing,

and sunbeams were just shooting down.

And something in my soul, something in my being

felt like this was right.

This was something that was more exciting.

There was something aligned.

I had to pursue it, even though it didn't make sense.

So I signed up for a three-year coach training program,

and I started to do my studies at night while I kept

my magazine job during the day.

A few months in, I get a call from the HR department.

They wanted to offer me a promotion at "Vogue" magazine.

This was my fork in the road.

Do you take this promotion, which

is more money, and more prestige, a steady paycheck,

health benefits--

all of the things that one should

want when you're getting started in your career--

or do you quit and do this weird thing

that no one has ever heard of called coaching

and start your own business, which

you have no idea how to do, and you're

carrying thousands and thousands of dollars of debt

from college, and you have to take care of yourself.

So of course, I quit.

[CHUCKLES]

And I started bartending, and waiting tables, and doing

every odd job I possibly could.

And I started working on my business during the day,

and just hustling my buns off on nights and weekends

to fund this brand new business.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

So over the years, I recognized that one of my greatest

abilities was to be able to communicate with people.

I love teaching on video.

I had a part of my career in health and fitness

where I was teaching hip hop, and I was a Nike Elite dance

athlete, and I was creating all these fitness videos.

And one of the things that I loved

about that was just being able to talk to people straight

to camera and show them how to do things,

and have them go from feeling insecure and afraid

and a lot of self-doubt to this other place of like,

oh my goodness, I can do this.

And I feel like that's one of my superpowers.

That helps people really take what

it is that they want to do in this world

and bring it to life.

If there's a change they want to make in their health,

or in their relationships, or in their financial life,

or in their mental or emotional health,

or they want to take this idea they have for a business

and grow it, or their existing business,

and take it to new heights, a lot of it

comes from really simple tools and the application

of those tools consistently.

And so many of us don't have voices of encouragement.

So I think when any of us are feeling lost,

or feeling stuck, or feeling like,

gosh, nothing's working right now,

I think one of the best things we can do--

and it's so counter-intuitive-- is we have to celebrate.

We have to celebrate the fact that we're in a tough spot.

Why?

Because we're about to have some kind of breakthrough.

Something in our life is not working,

and we've gotten ourselves to the point

that we're willing to take action

to do something about it, so that means change is

on the horizon.

So again, I know it's a little counter-intuitive,

but please, take a minute to celebrate,

because something's off-track, and you're going

to get it right back on track.

The next thing we got to do is start where we are.

Oftentimes, we think we have to change everything.

But really, what we have to change is our attitude,

and how we're showing up.

So can you start with the little things?

In the morning, can you make your bed

with enthusiasm and passion?

Can you be the best damn bed-maker ever?

Can you brush your teeth like you really mean it?

Can you start talking with your family

like they're the best family ever?

Can you show up at work and actually

give your excellence, and your best, and your heart and soul?

Can you go into that grocery store,

can you put a smile on somebody's face?

I know these things may sound trite or insignificant,

but they're not.

Because you can't be miserable throughout your whole day.

80%, 90% of your day complaining,

stuck, nothing's working, and then expect

to have some big breakthrough.

Whereas if you practice in the small moments--

I'm going to show up, and I'm going to look for some answers.

I'm going to show up, and I am going

to be this person who is open to new ideas.

I'm going to show up, and I'm actually

going to put a smile on someone else's face.

I'm going to take the attention off myself

and how I might think that there's

something wrong with me, and in that putting

my attention on someone else, I might actually

discover new answers or new possibilities.

So I think when we're stuck, I think

when we're finding ourselves in a bit of pain,

or we're feeling like nothing's working, first, to celebrate,

and then to start changing how we're showing up

in the micro moments can create a big trajectory of change.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

When I was born, the doctors in the delivery room told

my parents that I wouldn't survive my first 24 hours

of life.

My whole childhood, I was riddled with physical abuse,

but not by the hands of any other human, but my genetics.

Something as simple as sneezing would break ribs.

Putting on a pair of pants too quickly, I could snap a femur.

The physical pain was nowhere near as abrasive

as the emotional trauma of what it caused me to miss out on.

Pain and emotional upset followed

me my entire childhood.

And it all kind of shifted when I was in fourth grade.

I was out of my wheelchair.

And as I'm rolling around, I catch my left leg

on the corner of the door.

And I bent it back, and I snapped it at the femur.

Between hearing the sound of the snap, and feeling the pain.

And even though it's a fraction of a second,

it feels like an eternity, because you

visualize everything you're going to miss out on.

I thought, why did I have to go through this?

What did I ever do to deserve this?

I was furious.

My mom, she comes running in the room.

She looked in my eyes, and she said, sweetie,

is this going to be a gift or a burden in your life?

First of all, I thought she was crazy.

I mean, you and I have had gifts, right?

They come in our birthday, and we open them up

with joy and excitement.

But in fourth grade, such a young impressionable age,

I got clarity on my life.

I realized that I loved my life amidst all that pain.

And maybe there was a bigger, grander purpose

to why I was in this container.

Maybe the reason was to teach the rest of the human race

how to love their lives amidst their pain.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]

So there are many different ideas and models to help you

find your purpose.

One of the best models I've learned

comes from a writer called Amir Ahmad Nasr, who is

a Sudanese refugee in Canada.

And I was talking to Amir, and he showed me

how often the pain that we go through during our childhood,

during our growth periods, is really

a sign of what our greater purpose is.

So think back of that pain that you went through as a child.

And I don't know what that was for you.

But in that pain are the clues to what your purpose is.

Knowing the purpose to your pain doesn't make the pain go

away, but it gives you fuel to keep pushing forward and not

want to quit, not want to check out, not want to numb yourself.

I'm on this planet to look human beings in the eye and say,

I know it's painful.

I wish it didn't have to be painful.

You have a choice.

Are you going to see it as a gift or a burden?

Fulfillment and meaning, it really is a choice.

It's a choice that we get to make in each moment.

What are we going to make this mean?

How are we going to choose to have

this event, this circumstance, this moment be joyous?

Are we going to be sitting back in our energy going,

I wish this was different?

There's no way it can be different, so that's useless.

Or are we going to engage with our full enthusiasm,

and our joy?

Are we going to show up in each moment

like we're really meant to be there?

And when we do that, and train ourselves

to do that consistently, all of a sudden, joy and meaning

and fulfillment becomes a habit.

It becomes a way of living.

It becomes a way that we engage with the world around us.

So it's less of something that we're looking for,

and it's more of something that we

bring to everywhere we show up.

Some things don't make sense in the moment.

But I believe, over the course of our lives,

we can see the greater picture.

And whenever something is unfair or upsetting to me,

I just know, OK, wait, I'm too zoomed in.

If I zoom out, I'm going to see that this is not

happening to me, but for me.

There's two ways to feel good.

You can gratify yourself, which is pleasure now, pay later,

and then there's fulfillment, which is effort now,

pleasure later.

And whenever you are growing your mind,

your body, your spirit, and/or you're

giving back to your planet and others, that's so fulfilling.

I've been a therapist for 16 years.

And I've never had somebody sit down on my couch

and say, Shawn, every morning, I do self-care rituals.

I kiss my kids goodbye.

I then spend five hours in the homeless shelter, feeding them,

and I knit blankets for children over in Africa,

and gosh, I just want to kill myself.

I've never had it happen once.

And I'm not saying it doesn't exist,

but I have never seen it.

When a human being is growing their mind, body, and spirit,

and they're giving back to the planet and humanity at large,

it's so darn fulfilling.

Now, there are three types of pursuits that bring us

fulfillment.

And I'm really looking at this from the point of view

that we are souls here in a meat body on a giant rock hurtling

through space having a human experience.

So the three things are this.

The first is human experiences.

And experiences are not necessarily things

that money can buy.

An experience could be a kiss with someone you really love.

It could be holding a child, your child in your arms.

It could be an extreme sport, or eating a food that you so

enjoy, or laughing with friends.

You do not need money for many of these experiences.

And so the first question you want to ask yourself is not,

what goals do I want in life, because goals may not

necessarily lead to happiness or fulfillment.

The first question you want to ask yourself

is, what experiences do I want?

But there's a second question.

The second thing that causes our souls to get fulfilled

is growth.

I believe that one of the reasons we are here

is to grow and evolve.

So the second question you want to ask yourself

is, how am I going to grow?

And this is where you want to actually make

a list of all the opportunities and ways you

want to grow as a human being.

It could be learning a new language.

It could be learning a new skill.

It could be learning public speaking.

Learning to be a better parent.

It could be learning mindfulness, or meditation,

or create a visualization, or harnessing your intuition.

But we gain fulfillment from growth.

But there is a third question.

That third question is, look, if I was a human being who

had all of these beautiful experience, who

has grown in all of these amazing ways,

how can I give back to the world?

And giving back or contribution is the third step

to fulfillment.

You want to be happy?

Make other people happy.

Contribution is where you make a list

of all the ways you can contribute to pushing humanity

forward.

Whether it's charitable giving, or raising spectacular kids,

or volunteering, or starting a company, or building something

that can actually make an impact in the world.

Contribution is that third step.

So really, the path to fulfillment,

ask yourself the three most important questions.

What experiences do I want in life?

How do I want to grow?

And how do I want to contribute?

Even if you don't resonate with those questions,

they're not exactly yours, figure out your questions.

Figure out, at the end of my life,

how would I evaluate my life?

What questions would I ask to know whether or not

I lived a good life?

Because if you find out what those questions are-- just

make them up.

Decide.

OK, I might ask, am I a good mom?

I might ask, did I follow my passion?

I might ask, did I honor the gifts that God gave me?

Find out what questions you're going to ask.

And once you know what those questions are,

then you can live each day intentionally

so you're happy with the answers at the end.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

I'm a big believer-- and this may sound more delusional--

that having a dream is more important than achieving

a dream.

Because achievement is not what keeps

us inspired, because it's behind us.

Hope is what keeps us inspired.

Heading towards something is far more

powerful than having something behind you.

I think the goal is to be an unrealistic human being.

And when you're unrealistic, you can create

incredible possibilities.

Jeff Bezos.

Elon Musk.

The late Steve Jobs.

The late Walt Disney.

Mother Teresa.

Mahatma Gandhi.

Martin Luther King.

All these individuals are incredibly unrealistic.

Martin Luther King was saying, one day, we

will drink out of the same fountain,

and it will be no big deal.

That was unrealistic at the time.

And so unrealistic people chart the course

for the rest of the human race.

Your obligation, your responsibility is to live

your mission and your purpose.

That you were given this unique soul, this unique gift,

this unique container.

It's unique out of 7 billion people.

And you're being asked.

People say, what's my purpose?

I say, well, let's take a look.

What's your purpose?

What do we know to be true?

Well, we know for sure that you're unique.

That out of 7 billion people, we cannot line up a genetic exact

match.

We just know that by science.

We know that by spirit as well, that you're unique.

So part of your purpose?

Live that uniqueness.

Don't conform.

Be you.

Share with the world.

What do you really think?

What do you really feel?

What do you really want?

Contribute things that pull at your heart,

because maybe that's a part of you that's like,

there's some kind of thing that's being called.

And you're supposed to listen, because only you got that gift.

That you got that message.

You're supposed to do that.

There never has been and there never will be another

you.

So to understand what a miracle you are

on this Earth in this moment right now,

and to be able to use your heart, and your skills,

and your perspective, and your unique story

to connect with other humans, and to make

a difference in their life, that's all you're here to do.

And it doesn't have to be a grand expression.

You don't have to be a billionaire.

You don't have to change anything.

If you can take control of your own path,

and then devote yourself in service to the betterment

of other human beings, you will find more fulfillment,

more purpose, more contentment, and more happiness than you can

possibly imagine.

And that will be your gift to humanity, and to the planet

that we all share.

And if we can learn again where our hearts are,

find them, and let them teach us and show us and guide us,

and live according to what is in our hearts and souls that we

have come to this Earth to share, to give,

then we are playing the part we are here to play.

And yes, you and I are each one seven billionth of humanity,

and you could think of it that way.

That's just a tiny, tiny drop in the bucket.

But if there's enough drops, it ceases to be a bucket.

It becomes the tide of history turning.

It becomes something that is unstoppable.

It becomes something that is good, and wholesome,

and beautiful, and powerful beyond measure.

And that is the power that Gandhi

called satyagraha, the power of love force,

caring, the power of spirit.

And it is greater when we create it together.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

I think it's up to each of us to find our calling,

to find our spirit, to find our integrity, and to live it.

And when we do, we're playing the part in the greater healing

that we're meant to play.

You just have to show up, and be willing to show up every

single day, and realize that you do make a difference.

And the difference that you make is up to you.

[MUSIC - NICK BROADHURST, "ALWAYS YOU"]

(SINGING) Going back to where the story all began.

Do you want to hear the journey of this man?

So maybe, maybe you're going to call me crazy.

A feeling I know it can't be wrong.

So one day, you're going to be my lover.

Everybody run for cover, the ceiling's coming down.

And one day, we're going to be forever.

Everybody said we'd never.

The ceiling's coming down.

So stop, I'm going to be there for you now.

Don't go, I'm going to be there for you now.

You, always you.

Always you.

I'll walk you through the sunshine and the rain.

I believe that second chances come again.

So maybe, maybe, no longer call us

crazy, a feeling I know it wasn't wrong.

So one day, you're going to be my lover.

Everybody run for cover, the ceiling's falling down.

And one day, we're going to be forever.

Everybody said we'd never, and the ceiling's coming down.

So stop, I'm going to be there for you now.

Don't go, I'm going to be there for you now.

You, always you.

Always you.