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1
00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:30,038
I'm gonna miss you so much.
2
00:00:30,122 --> 00:00:32,791
Well, you'll come and visit me
and, uh, I'll call.
3
00:00:32,874 --> 00:00:35,294
- I love you so much.
- Oh, me, too.
4
00:00:39,131 --> 00:00:40,966
Still some packing to do.
5
00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:42,801
Got a big day tomorrow.
6
00:00:42,885 --> 00:00:45,470
- Okay, Mom. I'm coming.
- Early start and a long drive.
7
00:00:45,554 --> 00:00:46,555
Goodbye.
8
00:00:46,638 --> 00:00:48,223
ANNIE: Bye, Mrs. Sawyer. (CHUCKLES)
JASON: Bye.
9
00:00:48,307 --> 00:00:49,766
- She hates me.
- No she doesn't.
10
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,561
- She doesn't.
- No, she really, really does.
11
00:00:52,644 --> 00:00:53,896
But I love you. Okay?
12
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,150
I... I gotta go.
I'll call you when I get there.
13
00:00:58,233 --> 00:00:59,526
Call me from the road.
14
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,778
Okay, it's a three-hour drive
to Michigan State.
15
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,238
We're gonna be okay.
I'll see you soon.
16
00:01:04,322 --> 00:01:06,450
- Okay. Mmm-hmm.
- Promise.
17
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,039
You bet your ass you will.
18
00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:14,833
{\an8}(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
19
00:01:29,932 --> 00:01:34,019
Sittin' here
eatin' my heart out, waitin'
20
00:01:34,102 --> 00:01:37,689
{\an8}Waitin' for some lover to call
21
00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:42,402
{\an8}- Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
- (TYPING)
22
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,696
{\an8}Almost rang the phone off the wall
23
00:01:46,031 --> 00:01:49,701
{\an8}Lookin' for a lover who needs another
24
00:01:49,785 --> 00:01:52,746
{\an8}- Don't want another night on my own
- (COUGHING)
25
00:01:53,956 --> 00:01:57,918
Wanna share my love
with a warm-blooded lover
26
00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:01,171
{\an8}Wanna bring a wild man back home
27
00:02:02,005 --> 00:02:03,006
{\an8}Oh, shit.
28
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,883
{\an8}Gotta have some hot love
baby, this evenin'
29
00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:08,511
{\an8}I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
30
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:13,684
{\an8}I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
31
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,061
{\an8}- Gotta have some lovin'
- (GRUNTS)
32
00:02:16,144 --> 00:02:18,480
{\an8}Gotta have some love tonight
33
00:02:18,564 --> 00:02:19,773
- Hot stuff
- (YELLS)
34
00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:20,857
(FABRIC RIPPING)
35
00:02:21,525 --> 00:02:23,151
Oh, no.
36
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:28,156
Oh. Yeah, I'm bare back there. Okay.
37
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:29,950
(OVEN TIMER BEEPING)
38
00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:31,827
(SOFTLY) Shit.
39
00:02:36,039 --> 00:02:37,165
{\an8}Oh, god damn it. God damn it.
40
00:02:46,675 --> 00:02:47,676
{\an8}-(TEARS)
- (YELLS)
41
00:02:47,759 --> 00:02:48,760
{\an8}-(DOG BARKING)
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
42
00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:51,221
{\an8}I need hot stuff
43
00:02:52,848 --> 00:02:53,849
{\an8}PATRICIA: Hello?
44
00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:57,728
{\an8}I want some hot stuff
That's right
45
00:03:00,856 --> 00:03:02,149
{\an8}Hello?
46
00:03:06,528 --> 00:03:09,323
{\an8}ANNIE: Yeah. Okay. Here we go.
47
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:10,949
{\an8}(GRUNTING)
48
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:13,994
{\an8}(TIMER BEEPS)
49
00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:16,705
{\an8}Oh...
50
00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:25,047
{\an8}(EXHALES)
51
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,175
{\an8}(GRUNTS)
52
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,509
{\an8}-Oh, yeah.
- (SONG CONTINUES)
53
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:33,472
{\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
54
00:03:33,555 --> 00:03:35,432
{\an8}Hot, hot, hot
55
00:03:37,559 --> 00:03:38,560
{\an8}Oh, shit.
56
00:03:38,644 --> 00:03:41,355
{\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
57
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,399
{\an8}Hot, hot, hot
58
00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:49,238
{\an8}How's about some hot stuff
baby, this evenin'?
59
00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:51,323
{\an8}Ooh, I need your loving
60
00:03:51,406 --> 00:03:53,659
{\an8}Gotta have your hot stuff tonight
61
00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,035
{\an8}Hot stuff
62
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,204
{\an8}(PORN ACTRESS MOANING IN VIDEO)
63
00:03:59,748 --> 00:04:01,124
- Annie?
- Hi.
64
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,209
- Oh!
- (SONG CONTINUES)
65
00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:03,293
Hot stuff
66
00:04:03,752 --> 00:04:05,254
- (SONG ENDS)
- PORN ACTRESS: Oh, yes!
67
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,380
Oh...
68
00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:08,757
{\an8}(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
69
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,386
Patricia! I'm dying for
a piece of that pie, hon.
70
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,720
(TV PLAYING)
71
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,348
- Surprise.
- What are you doin'?
72
00:04:17,432 --> 00:04:19,685
You leave for college tomorrow
and I wanted to give you
73
00:04:19,768 --> 00:04:21,812
a night to remember.
74
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,231
- Sex.
- Oh.
75
00:04:24,314 --> 00:04:25,732
- I want to give you sex.
- Sure. Yeah.
76
00:04:25,857 --> 00:04:27,776
- Sex with me, tonight, now.
- Yeah. Yeah, okay.
77
00:04:27,859 --> 00:04:29,194
- (CHUCKLES)
- Cool. I just...
78
00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:30,737
I thought you didn't want to.
79
00:04:30,821 --> 00:04:33,156
Oh, of course I want to.
80
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,450
- I just want it to be special.
- Yeah.
81
00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:37,578
- And romantic. And perfect.
- Right. Yeah.
82
00:04:37,661 --> 00:04:40,330
I love you
and I wanna lose my virginity to you.
83
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,499
Oh, that's... That's so nice.
84
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,293
- That is a Christmas card.
- That's what I said.
85
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,671
- I'm gonna take a picture.
- My parents would love to see his face.
86
00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,256
You wanna do the thing?
87
00:04:49,673 --> 00:04:51,258
Guess what I'm wearing under my coat.
88
00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:53,886
Oh, I'm so ready. I'm so ready.
89
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,513
JASON: Oh, my... Oh, what... Uh...
90
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:57,723
That's not what I wanted.
91
00:04:57,806 --> 00:04:59,099
Wow, what a beautiful pie.
92
00:04:59,182 --> 00:05:00,517
PATRICIA: Hi.
FRED: Hello.
93
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,685
PEEPAW: Who the hell is it?
94
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,061
PATRICIA: It's me, Daddy.
95
00:05:03,145 --> 00:05:06,189
- You're on a video chat. Yeah.
- It's a video chat.
96
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,108
What're you doing on TV?
97
00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:09,818
- Maybe you need, like, a doctor?
- No. No.
98
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,528
- Need some ointment or something... Oh.
- Shut up.
99
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,697
Let's go upstairs
and see your grandson, huh?
100
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,283
- We made this pie for him.
- PATRICIA: Yeah. It's really hot.
101
00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:17,576
FRED: She did
such a good job.
102
00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:18,994
MEEMAW: Where are you?
PEEPAW: I'm right here.
103
00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:21,163
MEEMAW: No, not you.
I'm talking to them.
104
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,248
We're going upstairs, Mom.
105
00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,542
And Jason's gonna be surprised.
106
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,295
- Just wait.
- Just wait.
107
00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:31,506
- Who's Jason?
- Jason's your grandson, honey.
108
00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:33,550
PEEPAW: What channel is this?
109
00:05:34,176 --> 00:05:35,177
Hmm.
110
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,845
Oh! What is that?
111
00:05:36,929 --> 00:05:37,930
{\an8}(MUFFLED)
112
00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:40,057
{\an8}What?
113
00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:45,020
Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Yeah.
114
00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:46,188
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
115
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:47,689
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
116
00:05:47,773 --> 00:05:49,066
- PATRICIA: Honey.
- (BOTH GASP)
117
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,984
We have a surprise for you.
118
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,197
PATRICIA: Jason?
FRED: Jason.
119
00:05:55,280 --> 00:06:00,202
Girl's got a prophylactic
in her mouth.
120
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,662
(PATRICIA WHIMPERS)
121
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:03,288
Hold on, Mom. I'm not dressed.
122
00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:04,373
(GASPS)
123
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,167
- Are you choking on the...
- (CHOKING)
124
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,169
PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR)
Jason Sawyer, open this door!
125
00:06:09,253 --> 00:06:12,130
Sorry, Mom,
I got a charley horse in my leg.
126
00:06:12,214 --> 00:06:13,423
Can you bring me the banana
127
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,883
- for the potassium?
- (BOTH GRUNTING)
128
00:06:16,051 --> 00:06:17,052
(GASPS)
129
00:06:17,386 --> 00:06:18,470
JASON: Okay.
130
00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:19,930
I love you very much.
131
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,431
But, uh, you gotta go.
132
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,516
Okay. Bye.
133
00:06:23,892 --> 00:06:25,352
(SCREAMING)
134
00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:28,063
- (ANNIE GRUNTS)
- (CAT YOWLS)
135
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,565
(DOG BARKING)
136
00:06:30,107 --> 00:06:31,108
(GASPS)
137
00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,068
- PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer!
- Sorry, Mom.
138
00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,028
That damned charley horse. (CHUCKLES)
139
00:06:36,071 --> 00:06:40,951
Meemaw and Peepaw saw your penis.
140
00:06:45,497 --> 00:06:46,999
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYS)
141
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,543
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
142
00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:06,059
- (BED CLACKING)
- KAYLA: No. Not yet. Ow!
143
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,895
TIM: You're so smart and gorgeous.
144
00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:09,897
- Now?
- KAYLA: Not yet. I'll tell you when.
145
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:10,981
Just a little higher.
146
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,525
- TIM: You're my princess. (GRUNTING)
- Rub softer but faster.
147
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:15,736
- Smash that pussy now! Now!
- (TIM PANTING)
148
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:17,905
TIM: I cherish you. I cherish you.
149
00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:19,615
(BOTH MOANING LOUDLY)
150
00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:21,783
(BOTH PANTING)
151
00:07:26,622 --> 00:07:28,373
- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.
152
00:07:28,457 --> 00:07:31,752
We are the greatest couple ever.
153
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:34,212
No one has sex like we do.
154
00:07:34,296 --> 00:07:39,551
I mean, I've never had sex like this,
but you're my first, so I don't know.
155
00:07:39,635 --> 00:07:40,636
Hey.
156
00:07:40,719 --> 00:07:44,389
I showed you that you're in my
lobster poems I wrote about you, right?
157
00:07:44,473 --> 00:07:47,684
Yeah, but, like, how amazing?
158
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,145
Like, oh, I don't know...
159
00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:52,105
Better than the other girls?
160
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,359
- You're doing it again.
- (CHUCKLES)
161
00:07:56,026 --> 00:07:58,528
I'm not jealous. I'm just asking.
162
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:02,491
Yeah. It starts with asking
and then you spiral.
163
00:08:02,574 --> 00:08:03,659
(CLATTERING)
164
00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:07,829
Are you filming us?
165
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,458
You little shit!
That is a total violation.
166
00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:12,584
Not cool, Keenan.
167
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:17,422
You respect my boundaries,
you little shit!
168
00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:22,261
- (SIGHS)
- Get back here! Give me that phone!
169
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:25,722
You will learn
about emotional intelligence.
170
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:30,727
Delete that video!
The framing isn't even good!
171
00:08:30,936 --> 00:08:31,937
(TYPING)
172
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,647
(SIGHS)
173
00:08:33,897 --> 00:08:35,983
Again? Really?
174
00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:40,654
- Kayla!
- Oops. Sorry. Love you.
175
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,447
Who the fuck is Monica?
176
00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:48,537
I do not shrink
from this responsibility.
177
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,871
I welcome it.
178
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,373
(MICHELLE MOANS)
179
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,544
- (MICHELLE GROANS)
- I do not believe that any of us...
180
00:08:56,962 --> 00:09:00,257
- (MICHELLE SIGHS)
- The energy, the faith, the devotion...
181
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,551
- MICHELLE: Here we go.
- ...which we bring to this endeavor...
182
00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:05,012
- Oh, yeah.
- ...will light our country and all...
183
00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:06,346
- (SEX TOY BUZZING)
- Bring it home now.
184
00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:10,851
{\an8}And the glow from that fire
can truly light the world.
185
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,853
And so, my fellow Americans,
186
00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:17,065
ask not what your country
can do for you...
187
00:09:17,149 --> 00:09:18,150
(MOANING LOUDLY)
188
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,861
- ...ask what you can do for your country.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
189
00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:24,031
You can ring my bell
190
00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:26,283
Ring my bell
191
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,492
(MICHELLE MOANS SOFTLY)
192
00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:29,745
You can ring my bell
193
00:09:30,454 --> 00:09:31,455
{\an8}(SONG ENDS)
194
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,706
{\an8}(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
195
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,126
- STEPHANIE: Principal Shankman.
- Stephanie.
196
00:09:37,252 --> 00:09:38,253
SHANKMAN: Whoo!
197
00:09:38,337 --> 00:09:40,213
Been waitin' for you. (CHUCKLING)
198
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,466
That outfit's amazing.
199
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,552
I'm glad you reconsidered,
decided to take me up on my offer.
200
00:09:45,636 --> 00:09:47,971
- Strip, slave.
- (CHUCKLES) Kinky.
201
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,307
- You like that?
- I like it. I like it.
202
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,392
- Are you excited?
- Oh, yes, Mistress.
203
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,603
- Handcuffs.
- Handcuffs, yeah.
204
00:09:54,686 --> 00:09:55,812
(WHIP CRACKING)
205
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,981
- Is that a whip?
- Yes, it is.
206
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,234
(CHUCKLES AND MIMICS
WHIP CRACKING)
207
00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:02,027
(WHIP CONTINUES CRACKING)
208
00:10:02,527 --> 00:10:04,196
- See, it's an app.
- Oh.
209
00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:06,240
- It's for S and M freaks like you.
- I like it.
210
00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:07,324
I don't really understand it but...
211
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,867
Yeah, 'cause you're fucking stupid.
212
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:10,744
You know, can you do
the mommy thing again?
213
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,871
The kids at school are gonna love that.
214
00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:14,373
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Are you filming me?
215
00:10:14,456 --> 00:10:17,459
Fuck, yeah. See, I've had it with you,
Principal Shankman,
216
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:20,128
hitting on me and the other girls.
It's gross.
217
00:10:20,212 --> 00:10:23,173
And I really don't want your pervy,
sexual harassing ass around
218
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:24,424
for my senior year, so...
219
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,426
Welcome to your retirement party.
220
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,053
Young lady, take the handcuffs off.
221
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:29,555
Oh, no, no, no.
222
00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:32,015
See, I'm in charge now,
you creepy fuck.
223
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,976
Retire or this video goes viral.
224
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,728
So, take the weekend,
think about what you've done.
225
00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:39,523
And I hope this teaches you
a very valuable lesson.
226
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:43,443
Never, ever fuck with a Stifler.
227
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:48,907
- Stephanie!
- Bye!
228
00:10:48,991 --> 00:10:51,368
Stifler! Stifler!
229
00:10:52,327 --> 00:10:53,453
You're in big trouble.
230
00:10:53,537 --> 00:10:54,538
(DOOR CLOSES)
231
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,622
I'm in bigger trouble.
232
00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:57,874
STEPHANIE: Are you
fucking kidding me?
233
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:01,169
You choked on a blowjob condom
and you don't even get slammed?
234
00:11:01,253 --> 00:11:03,046
It's called a dental dam.
235
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,298
Why does no one know this?
236
00:11:04,381 --> 00:11:06,550
Okay. So you use
a dental dam for safety,
237
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,595
but you still fell out of a window
and you did not get laid.
238
00:11:09,678 --> 00:11:11,388
Yeah, I get it. I messed up.
239
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,265
I'm sorry if I wanted my first time
240
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,684
- to be both safe and beautiful, okay?
- (ALL GROAN)
241
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:17,769
- Come on.
- Sex isn't supposed to be beautiful.
242
00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:20,647
It's supposed to be hot
and dirty and hungry!
243
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:22,900
ANNIE: I am going to do it
and it is going to be beautiful, okay.
244
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,776
Tough love time, Annie.
Your boyfriend's a total bro-bag.
245
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,778
- Yeah.
- Jason is not a bro-bag.
246
00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:29,615
I didn't wanna say it,
but he is the basic of all bros.
247
00:11:29,698 --> 00:11:30,699
- I'm sorry.
- Guys!
248
00:11:30,782 --> 00:11:33,368
We're supposed to be having fun
and fuckin' celebrating our youth!
249
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:35,746
- Senior year, bitches!
- (WHOOPING)
250
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:36,830
(ENGINE REVS)
251
00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:37,998
(WHOOPING)
252
00:11:38,582 --> 00:11:40,709
BOY: Back to school party!
253
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,385
(CHEERING AND SCREAMING)
254
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,262
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
255
00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:55,724
Students of East Great Falls!
256
00:11:55,807 --> 00:11:58,560
Welcome to the annual
Back To School Party!
257
00:11:58,644 --> 00:11:59,645
(ALL CHEERING)
258
00:12:02,648 --> 00:12:06,693
And on Monday we go back to the bullshit
banality of high school life.
259
00:12:06,777 --> 00:12:08,445
But today, the sun is out!
260
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,322
The booze is flowing!
261
00:12:10,405 --> 00:12:14,201
And we're teenagers
prone to bad decisions!
262
00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,745
Yeah!
263
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:23,627
(WHOOPING)
264
00:12:26,255 --> 00:12:27,256
(BARKING)
265
00:12:28,173 --> 00:12:30,008
Ah! Drink it down!
266
00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:34,513
East Great Falls!
267
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,726
- Hey, girl.
- (GIRL WHOOPS)
268
00:12:41,937 --> 00:12:43,272
McCORMICK: What's good, Stifler?
269
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,983
Brett McCormick.
270
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,943
At a party and still conscious.
Good for you.
271
00:12:48,026 --> 00:12:49,319
You know, Stifler, I hear things.
272
00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:52,072
You've got the reputation
of being the bang of the century.
273
00:12:52,155 --> 00:12:54,074
- Feels like I'm missing out.
- (SCOFFING CHUCKLE)
274
00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:55,951
You know, that's a real
panty-dropper, McCormick.
275
00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:57,327
I'll tell you what.
276
00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,496
Not today. Not tomorrow.
277
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:00,789
Not if you were the last man on Earth.
278
00:13:00,872 --> 00:13:03,125
Not if I even loved
the reek of Axe body spray.
279
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,460
Not if I didn't already know
you have a itty-bitty little dick.
280
00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,129
- That's not... (CHUCKLES)
- No, see, I hear things, too.
281
00:13:07,212 --> 00:13:09,881
So don't try to be clever.
That would just be really bad for you.
282
00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:12,551
Just don't throw up anywhere
or do any nonconsensual groping.
283
00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:13,927
That's your job for today.
284
00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:15,470
I believe in you.
285
00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:16,555
(ANNIE LAUGHING)
286
00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:20,350
TIM: They're my feelings.
287
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,561
KAYLA: You're being ridiculous! Okay?
288
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,730
TIM: You hacked my phone.
289
00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:27,858
Okay, so I hacked my boyfriend's phone.
290
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,776
Everybody does it, by the way.
291
00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:31,737
- Am I right, ladies? Yes, okay?
- (SCATTERED RESPONSES)
292
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:34,114
And I see some thirsty bitch
hitting on you.
293
00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:37,492
For the last time,
that thirsty bitch is my cousin.
294
00:13:37,576 --> 00:13:39,494
Are you telling me
people don't fuck their cousins?
295
00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:42,539
Because it happens.
Their kids have tails.
296
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:45,083
And she asked if
you've been working out?
297
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:47,169
Because she's my physical therapist.
298
00:13:47,252 --> 00:13:49,004
She helped me
when I blew out my knee last year.
299
00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:50,923
Wait. I vaguely remember this.
300
00:13:51,006 --> 00:13:54,426
Yeah, and you texted her
and you told her I have an STD!
301
00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:56,345
KAYLA: Yeah, I wanted her
to stay away from you.
302
00:13:56,428 --> 00:13:59,848
Yeah, well, she called my mom
and now my mom thinks I have syphilis.
303
00:13:59,932 --> 00:14:01,975
(CHUCKLES) Well, she's gonna
be so relieved
304
00:14:02,059 --> 00:14:04,353
when she finds out you don't. Okay?
305
00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:06,605
You know, that can lead to
madness if not treated.
306
00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:07,689
Kayla!
307
00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:08,857
(VOICE BREAKING)
I'm breaking up with you.
308
00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:12,027
Tim. I love you.
309
00:14:16,198 --> 00:14:17,532
Is this a joke?
310
00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:19,743
We're in love, stupid!
311
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,537
Hey, sweetie. You... You okay?
312
00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:23,747
Oh, that?
313
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,750
Yeah. We just break up
so that we can make up.
314
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,293
Yeah, it's just a little speed bump.
315
00:14:28,377 --> 00:14:30,170
Oh! You guys wanna go get fucked up?
316
00:14:30,254 --> 00:14:31,338
Let's go.
317
00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,840
- Oh.
- Okay. Whatever you want.
318
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:35,425
That's concerning.
319
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:36,593
KAYLA: Tequila!
320
00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:39,763
(FACETIME TONE)
321
00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:42,266
- Hey, hey!
- Hey!
322
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,850
Annie, what's... What's up?
323
00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:47,813
I'm at this stupid party
and I was just missing you.
324
00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:49,940
- Oh, okay.
- (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)
325
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,233
That's good.
326
00:14:51,316 --> 00:14:52,901
That's real good.
327
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:55,696
In my mouth next time. Okay.
328
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,115
Whoa! (BURPS)
329
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,284
I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.
330
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,119
- Oh, okay. Well, I love...
- (BURPS)
331
00:15:03,579 --> 00:15:04,580
You.
332
00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:05,914
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
333
00:15:05,998 --> 00:15:07,374
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there.
334
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,213
Oh, you might wanna... Okay.
335
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,466
How we doin'?
336
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,970
My sex-starved boyfriend
is surrounded by a bunch of college thots,
337
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,973
and I'm the only 17-year-old
virgin in history!
338
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,224
KAYLA: You are the lucky one.
339
00:15:24,308 --> 00:15:27,102
Ignorance is bliss,
my virginal friend.
340
00:15:27,185 --> 00:15:29,479
It could be days before
Tim and I are back together.
341
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,815
None of us need a man
to have a healthy sex life.
342
00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:36,653
I am learning that technology has given us
incredible innovations in self-pleasure.
343
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:39,364
And, like, whatever you're into.
External, internal,
344
00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:43,827
dildos, rabbits, wands, vibrators,
remote-controlled butt plugs, anal beads,
345
00:15:43,911 --> 00:15:45,495
- Ben Wa balls...
- Ben Wa balls?
346
00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:50,000
Oh, yeah. I have two in right now.
It is a very specific sensation.
347
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,960
- (BALLS CLACKING)
- Ooh! Yeah.
348
00:15:52,502 --> 00:15:53,837
(LAUGHING)
349
00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:55,505
They're amazing.
350
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:58,091
The knowledge that you have
something in your vagina
351
00:15:58,175 --> 00:15:59,384
is very unsettling to me.
352
00:15:59,468 --> 00:16:00,677
That is my whole point.
353
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:03,138
I would argue that you could use
some unsettling experimentation, Annie.
354
00:16:03,889 --> 00:16:05,432
Do you have a toy?
355
00:16:05,515 --> 00:16:06,600
We don't...
356
00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,060
I don't do that.
357
00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:10,479
Why does she hate you?
358
00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:13,565
MICHELLE: Guys, we're all lacking
something in the romance area.
359
00:16:13,649 --> 00:16:16,944
But I feel like, we gotta figure
this shit out. Like, it's our senior year.
360
00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:18,570
What do you mean?
361
00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:21,490
- Goal-setting.
- Okay, but what goals?
362
00:16:21,573 --> 00:16:25,035
Oh. For you, you need a guy
who appreciates your sense of humor
363
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,620
and doesn't take things so personally.
364
00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:30,040
Maybe someone who's less emotional.
365
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,458
Yeah, like, someone, like, way less woke.
366
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:32,834
Not a guy who wants
to make sweet love.
367
00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,378
You need a guy who wants
to fuck, you know?
368
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,088
Oh, my God!
369
00:16:36,171 --> 00:16:38,590
- I do need someone who wants to fuck!
- STEPHANIE: There you go.
370
00:16:38,674 --> 00:16:40,259
MICHELLE: Okay, my turn, my turn. Do me.
371
00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:42,719
Oh. Yeah, that's pretty simple.
You need someone smart.
372
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,221
Yeah, you need someone
who understands you,
373
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,432
who would like social consciousness,
but also like integrity.
374
00:16:47,516 --> 00:16:48,934
Mmm. Yeah, like, someone a little kinky.
375
00:16:49,017 --> 00:16:51,395
I like it. Okay. What about Steph?
376
00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:54,523
Me? Oh, I am so good.
377
00:16:54,606 --> 00:16:57,693
Oh, sweetie, sorry,
but you need some serious work.
378
00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,361
What? Excuse me?
379
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:01,863
- What exactly do I need?
- Annie, take it.
380
00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:03,657
- A nice guy.
- KAYLA: Mmm.
381
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:08,078
Someone who wants to be around you
and buys thoughtful presents
382
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,913
and asks about your day.
383
00:17:14,585 --> 00:17:15,793
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
384
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,629
Okay. What about Annie?
385
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,258
Um, to have sex with the man I love.
386
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,385
Guys, these goals are totally attainable.
387
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,137
- But we need a deadline.
- Homecoming.
388
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:26,972
About a month away,
and it has the perfect theme.
389
00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:28,098
STEPHANIE: Theme?
390
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,309
Your lack of school spirit
is truly disheartening.
391
00:17:30,392 --> 00:17:32,227
Ladies, come on. It's a MORP dance.
392
00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:33,353
"Prom" spelled backwards.
393
00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:35,981
We switch all the conventions,
and most importantly,
394
00:17:36,064 --> 00:17:37,149
- girls ask guys.
- STEPHANIE: Okay.
395
00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:40,861
Rule one, set a goal
to fix our romantic lives.
396
00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:43,280
Rule number two,
we support our fellow women.
397
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,366
Three, we are all
accountability partners.
398
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,285
And we won't let each other
get away with our usual shit.
399
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,369
- STEPHANIE: Okay.
- Yes. Yes.
400
00:17:49,453 --> 00:17:52,164
- And rule four, deadline is homecoming.
- Mmm.
401
00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:53,457
- The MORP dance.
- Mmm-hmm.
402
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,792
Wait, but I don't like that it's rules.
403
00:17:55,876 --> 00:17:57,044
Makes it sound like a competition.
404
00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,420
Well, everything is a competition.
405
00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:00,756
It's not, though. It's a pact, so...
406
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:02,090
- (LAUGHTER)
- KAYLA: Ooh, a pact. Okay.
407
00:18:02,174 --> 00:18:05,469
Well, ladies, please raise your glasses
to The Girls' Rules.
408
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,137
KAYLA: Yes!
MICHELLE: Cheers.
409
00:18:07,679 --> 00:18:09,223
{\an8}KAYLA: We have a pact!
410
00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:10,432
{\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
411
00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:11,850
Call it classic
Reach out and grab it
412
00:18:11,934 --> 00:18:13,894
Super massive
Pulls like a magnet
413
00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:19,650
{\an8}Jumping straight out the box
You got me like whoa
414
00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:24,112
Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa
415
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:28,408
Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa
416
00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:29,910
Well, hello
417
00:18:34,456 --> 00:18:35,832
Okay, we start today.
418
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:37,876
We're getting what we want,
and if anybody doesn't like it,
419
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,253
they can eat a bag of dicks.
420
00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:43,298
Kind of feel like we're Charlie's Angels,
but not the Drew Barrymore one.
421
00:18:43,382 --> 00:18:45,300
The older one where no one wore bras.
422
00:18:45,384 --> 00:18:46,385
Nice.
423
00:18:46,468 --> 00:18:48,011
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
424
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,430
I'm attracted
I gotta have it
425
00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:52,724
Super massive
Pulls like a magnet
426
00:18:53,809 --> 00:18:56,603
Not to ruin this badass moment
of female empowerment,
427
00:18:56,687 --> 00:19:00,440
but look at our choices.
428
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:03,986
KAYLA: You're right.
We've known these rats since elementary.
429
00:19:04,069 --> 00:19:05,779
You really think
we go to school with the perfect guy
430
00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:06,863
and just haven't noticed?
431
00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:08,073
STEPHANIE: Oh, I think exactly that.
432
00:19:08,156 --> 00:19:09,908
Look, there's over 500 guys
at East Great Falls.
433
00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:12,869
The guy you might be looking for
might be right under your oyster.
434
00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:14,037
Or at Michigan State.
435
00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,123
Okay, ironically,
I think that Annie out of all of us
436
00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:17,833
will probably benefit
the most from our pact.
437
00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,334
- Yeah?
- Especially the part
438
00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,169
- where we call on her bullshit.
- What bullshit?
439
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:23,755
Okay. You wanna lose it
to Jason the D-bag?
440
00:19:23,839 --> 00:19:24,923
Here's an idea.
441
00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:27,217
Get your ass down to Michigan State
and fuck his little brains out.
442
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:29,511
Seems simple, yet here you are.
443
00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:32,764
That was harsh.
444
00:19:32,848 --> 00:19:35,017
STEPHANIE: Yeah, rule three,
accountability partner!
445
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,268
Jason's busy.
446
00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:37,644
I'm trying to plan a trip there,
447
00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:40,397
but with his school schedule,
we barely even get time to talk.
448
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,899
- Yeah.
- So sad.
449
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,151
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- Oh.
450
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,319
Adiós, mofos.
451
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,740
MICHELLE: In the meantime,
I suggest we start training.
452
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,534
In order to enjoy sex,
you need to know what you like, right?
453
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,119
What're you thinking?
454
00:19:54,202 --> 00:19:56,663
I'm thinking that
we do a shopping trip.
455
00:19:56,872 --> 00:19:57,873
(SQUEALS)
456
00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,291
Oh, gotta go. Gonna be late.
457
00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:03,170
MICHELLE: Whoa.
458
00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:05,672
Shit. Shit. Shit.
459
00:20:06,381 --> 00:20:07,382
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
460
00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:13,680
You can ring my bell
Ring my bell...
461
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,308
(GRUNTING)
462
00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:23,148
(GROANS)
463
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,026
- (SCOFFS)
- Oh.
464
00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:28,528
- Oh, my God.
- MICHELLE: Hey.
465
00:20:28,612 --> 00:20:31,698
- Are you okay? That looked really painful.
- (CHUCKLES)
466
00:20:31,823 --> 00:20:34,660
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
No, I'm great. I, um... I just...
467
00:20:34,743 --> 00:20:36,662
I was late for class.
It's a little schedule blunder.
468
00:20:36,745 --> 00:20:38,372
It's a pre-calc.
It should've said calc calc. (LAUGHS)
469
00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:39,539
Hence, the running.
470
00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:42,501
But you look lost,
and as Student Council Vice President,
471
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:43,919
it's actually my obligation to help you.
472
00:20:44,002 --> 00:20:45,712
Hi. I'm Michelle.
473
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,383
And I'm trying really hard
to hide my growing anxiety
474
00:20:49,466 --> 00:20:51,510
about being late for class.
(CHUCKLES)
475
00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:53,387
I'm Grant. Just moved here.
476
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:55,013
Totally lost.
477
00:20:55,097 --> 00:20:57,349
And amused at your growing anxiety.
478
00:20:57,432 --> 00:20:58,475
But you're in luck.
479
00:20:58,559 --> 00:21:00,018
I am also on the way to calculus.
480
00:21:00,102 --> 00:21:02,688
I'd be more than happy
to report how you selflessly helped me,
481
00:21:02,771 --> 00:21:04,064
even though it made you late.
482
00:21:04,147 --> 00:21:06,984
And I'll be sure to leave out
the part about you, you know,
483
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,235
face-slamming a door.
484
00:21:08,569 --> 00:21:09,570
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
485
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,200
Is that a Ben Wa ball?
486
00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:17,160
Yeah.
487
00:21:19,997 --> 00:21:22,040
- Three second rule.
- Okay.
488
00:21:22,124 --> 00:21:23,917
- Should we go?
- Yeah.
489
00:21:26,336 --> 00:21:29,506
KAYLA: A sweet treat for my sweet treat.
490
00:21:29,965 --> 00:21:32,384
What're you doing?
We broke up. Remember?
491
00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:34,386
We had a little squabble.
492
00:21:34,469 --> 00:21:36,179
Pumpkin spice or mocha?
493
00:21:36,263 --> 00:21:37,973
This is real. It's over.
494
00:21:38,056 --> 00:21:40,142
You're just not my lobster.
495
00:21:47,316 --> 00:21:48,317
(SIGHS)
496
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,531
Mind if I join you?
497
00:21:57,326 --> 00:22:01,413
Look. I know this is not
in any way my business,
498
00:22:01,496 --> 00:22:03,540
but I couldn't help but overhear.
499
00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:05,083
Oh, God.
500
00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,960
Yeah, it's pretty uncomfy.
501
00:22:07,044 --> 00:22:10,714
But I figured it might be a less pathetic
moment if you weren't sitting alone
502
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,800
while your ex is still watching.
503
00:22:14,468 --> 00:22:16,136
You really wanna drive him nuts?
504
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,096
Pass me that delicious pumpkin spice.
505
00:22:20,599 --> 00:22:22,517
- Who are you?
- I'm Grant.
506
00:22:22,601 --> 00:22:24,019
I'm cheering you up.
507
00:22:24,102 --> 00:22:27,231
- You're trying to steal my coffee.
- That's just an added bonus.
508
00:22:31,777 --> 00:22:34,529
- I'm Kayla.
- Nice to meet you, Kayla.
509
00:22:34,613 --> 00:22:35,614
Mmm.
510
00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:37,824
(GRANT CLEARS THROAT)
511
00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:39,701
Why'd you give me the mocha one?
512
00:22:39,785 --> 00:22:41,453
You think I'm just gonna
give you pumpkin spice?
513
00:22:41,536 --> 00:22:43,497
This shit is seasonal
and I don't even know you.
514
00:22:44,164 --> 00:22:45,165
Touché.
515
00:22:45,749 --> 00:22:47,376
(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)
516
00:22:47,584 --> 00:22:48,835
Yeah
517
00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:50,420
(ALL SHOUTING)
518
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,887
Let everyone know
That the girls run the show
519
00:23:00,138 --> 00:23:02,683
Who wants some? Yeah!
520
00:23:02,766 --> 00:23:06,311
The lights are down low
Raise the curtain and go
521
00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:08,647
It's our big night
Hey
522
00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,607
Our big night
Ho
523
00:23:10,691 --> 00:23:12,484
Who the fuck is that?
524
00:23:12,568 --> 00:23:13,735
MEREDITH: Who's the fresh meat?
525
00:23:13,819 --> 00:23:14,987
Yeah, look at that snack.
526
00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:16,238
Nice dick!
527
00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:17,864
STEPHANIE: You spooked him. Ball!
528
00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:20,492
- No way. He's too far.
- STEPHANIE: 20 bucks.
529
00:23:20,576 --> 00:23:22,035
- I want some of that.
- You're on.
530
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:23,370
Go on, give me some space.
531
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:30,168
Wait for it.
532
00:23:31,336 --> 00:23:32,337
(GRUNTS)
533
00:23:33,088 --> 00:23:34,298
- Fuck, yeah!
- Oh shit!
534
00:23:34,381 --> 00:23:35,841
- I can't believe she actually made that.
- He might be dead.
535
00:23:35,924 --> 00:23:39,553
- You killed the snack!
- Venmo me, motherfuckers!
536
00:23:39,636 --> 00:23:43,098
Girls run this
Girls run this show
537
00:23:45,309 --> 00:23:48,896
Oh, my God, I... I am so sorry.
538
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,732
Are you okay?
539
00:23:52,774 --> 00:23:55,027
Oh, I think so.
540
00:23:55,110 --> 00:23:56,153
Whoa.
541
00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:59,907
- You good?
- Yeah, I think so.
542
00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:02,910
Um, I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Stifler.
543
00:24:02,993 --> 00:24:04,161
I'm Grant.
544
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:06,747
Uh, your hands are so soft.
545
00:24:07,915 --> 00:24:10,375
- (CHUCKLES) Thank you.
- You're welcome.
546
00:24:10,459 --> 00:24:12,669
I'm looking for
the boys' lacrosse practice.
547
00:24:13,045 --> 00:24:14,046
Oh.
548
00:24:14,129 --> 00:24:16,465
The boys' practice is on the east field.
549
00:24:16,548 --> 00:24:19,259
- Yeah, I'll walk you.
- Uh, it's... It's okay.
550
00:24:21,929 --> 00:24:24,348
- Nice goal, by the way.
- It was good, right?
551
00:24:27,684 --> 00:24:29,019
You will be mine.
552
00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,652
MICHELLE: Come on.
553
00:24:37,152 --> 00:24:38,445
Oh, my God.
554
00:24:38,528 --> 00:24:40,614
I am very uncomfortable right now.
555
00:24:40,697 --> 00:24:43,825
Okay. Annie, let's just
take a deep breath and calm down
556
00:24:43,909 --> 00:24:45,535
and realize that this is just a store.
557
00:24:45,619 --> 00:24:48,497
There's nothing weird or wrong
or dirty about this place.
558
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,207
- You come here a lot?
- Michelle.
559
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:51,333
- Hey, Rose.
- I guess so.
560
00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:53,585
The new VJ-VAX just came out.
561
00:24:53,669 --> 00:24:56,463
Girl, it's great for your nipples,
your tongue,
562
00:24:56,546 --> 00:24:58,465
your clitoris, any sphincter...
563
00:24:58,548 --> 00:25:00,801
She's naming so many
different body part words.
564
00:25:00,884 --> 00:25:02,302
Poor thing. You're still allowing yourself
565
00:25:02,386 --> 00:25:04,513
- to be clit-blocked by the patriarchy.
- Mmm-hmm.
566
00:25:04,596 --> 00:25:07,140
I'm so sorry.
Did I hear you say the VJ-VAX came in?
567
00:25:07,224 --> 00:25:08,308
I've just heard amazing things.
568
00:25:08,392 --> 00:25:09,476
They're all true.
569
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:10,936
Oh, can I get a demonstration?
570
00:25:12,646 --> 00:25:14,481
- Okay. Come on.
- Oh, no.
571
00:25:17,985 --> 00:25:18,986
ANNIE: Oh, dear God.
572
00:25:19,069 --> 00:25:20,821
MICHELLE: Welcome to
your sexual awakening.
573
00:25:20,904 --> 00:25:23,240
{\an8}Somewhere on this wall
lies the access point to your orgasm.
574
00:25:23,323 --> 00:25:25,909
But, to pick the right toy,
I do need a little bit of information.
575
00:25:25,993 --> 00:25:27,494
Are you an innie or an outie?
576
00:25:27,578 --> 00:25:28,620
Am I what?
577
00:25:29,705 --> 00:25:30,747
Okay.
578
00:25:30,831 --> 00:25:33,959
Why don't we use
this rubber vagina as a visual aid?
579
00:25:34,042 --> 00:25:36,461
- That's a return, but we cleaned it.
- Thanks, Rose.
580
00:25:36,545 --> 00:25:37,879
Okay, do you like this,
581
00:25:37,963 --> 00:25:39,548
- or do you like this?
- A.
582
00:25:39,631 --> 00:25:41,842
I'll... I'll... I'll just pick Option A.
583
00:25:41,925 --> 00:25:43,302
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
584
00:25:43,385 --> 00:25:45,345
Most women orgasm
through clitoral stimulation.
585
00:25:45,429 --> 00:25:46,889
- Okay.
- ELLEN: Actually, did you know that
586
00:25:46,972 --> 00:25:50,809
75% of women never orgasm
through intercourse alone? It's a fact.
587
00:25:50,893 --> 00:25:52,269
I'm sorry, ladies, could you just...
588
00:25:52,352 --> 00:25:53,478
You're blocking the good stuff.
589
00:25:53,562 --> 00:25:55,063
- Oh, sorry.
- Ooh!
590
00:25:55,564 --> 00:25:57,524
How about this guy?
591
00:25:57,608 --> 00:25:59,985
- (MICHELLE CHUCKLING)
- Hello. How are you?
592
00:26:00,694 --> 00:26:02,404
Aw, sweet baby bird.
593
00:26:02,487 --> 00:26:04,239
Let me guess. Is this your first toy?
594
00:26:04,323 --> 00:26:06,074
MICHELLE: Yes, it is her first toy.
595
00:26:06,158 --> 00:26:08,785
That is such a special day
in a woman's life.
596
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:10,746
Oh, sweetheart.
597
00:26:10,829 --> 00:26:13,081
I remember my first
like it was yesterday.
598
00:26:13,165 --> 00:26:14,708
The Muscle Massager 5000.
599
00:26:15,292 --> 00:26:16,752
{\an8}Still a bestseller.
600
00:26:16,835 --> 00:26:19,004
Mmm, that thing was squirt-tastic.
601
00:26:20,047 --> 00:26:23,926
{\an8}But nothing compares
to this gem right here.
602
00:26:24,968 --> 00:26:27,429
Three vibrating stimulators,
603
00:26:27,846 --> 00:26:30,682
curved tip to help you
find that elusive G-spot.
604
00:26:30,766 --> 00:26:32,559
Spoiler alert, it's in the front.
605
00:26:32,643 --> 00:26:34,645
There's a rabbit
for your itty-bitty clitty.
606
00:26:34,728 --> 00:26:37,064
And if you pee a little bit,
don't worry, it's waterproof.
607
00:26:37,147 --> 00:26:40,192
I mean, it is a beautiful time
to be alive, ladies. Am I right?
608
00:26:40,275 --> 00:26:41,401
- Yeah.
- Right.
609
00:26:41,485 --> 00:26:43,946
Wait. Call off the dogs.
The search is off.
610
00:26:44,029 --> 00:26:45,280
I found it.
611
00:26:45,822 --> 00:26:48,200
These black lacy panties are perfect.
612
00:26:48,283 --> 00:26:50,285
They're discreet. They're non-invasive.
613
00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:51,870
I agree. Those are perfect.
614
00:26:51,954 --> 00:26:55,290
And I'm so excited for the journey
that you're about to embark on.
615
00:26:55,707 --> 00:26:58,627
Godspeed, little bird. Godspeed.
616
00:27:01,630 --> 00:27:02,631
Wow.
617
00:27:02,714 --> 00:27:04,216
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
618
00:27:04,299 --> 00:27:06,426
- What? Relax.
- Relax?
619
00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:09,179
That super-weird
but strangely helpful woman
620
00:27:09,263 --> 00:27:11,390
just picked out
a vibrating undergarment for me.
621
00:27:11,473 --> 00:27:13,058
She's not weird. She's a goddess.
622
00:27:13,141 --> 00:27:15,686
And who cares?
You're never gonna see her again.
623
00:27:15,769 --> 00:27:17,020
Let's go.
624
00:27:19,481 --> 00:27:20,482
Oh.
625
00:27:20,566 --> 00:27:22,568
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, Dad.
626
00:27:22,651 --> 00:27:25,237
- Big test. Gotta study.
- You have a test already?
627
00:27:27,781 --> 00:27:28,782
Wow.
628
00:27:28,907 --> 00:27:31,743
Must be some kind of
accelerated school.
629
00:27:35,747 --> 00:27:36,748
(SIGHS)
630
00:27:53,473 --> 00:27:54,683
(CLICKS)
631
00:27:54,766 --> 00:27:55,976
(VIBRATING)
632
00:27:58,854 --> 00:28:01,773
Oh, my God.
633
00:28:03,066 --> 00:28:04,276
(DOORBELL RINGS)
634
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,321
Hi.
635
00:28:07,404 --> 00:28:10,490
Uh, I just moved in next door
and I wanted to introduce myself.
636
00:28:10,574 --> 00:28:14,578
I'm Ellen and...
Oh, come here, hon. This is my son, Grant.
637
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,246
I made you a pie.
638
00:28:18,123 --> 00:28:19,958
- Come in.
- Thank you. (CHUCKLES)
639
00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:22,961
JASON: Babe, I... I got...
I gotta get to class.
640
00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:26,173
You don't have time to knock one out?
641
00:28:26,256 --> 00:28:28,884
Are you... Are you saying
you wanna have cybersex?
642
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:31,094
Because, uh, yeah, that would...
643
00:28:31,178 --> 00:28:32,971
That would... That would be dope.
644
00:28:33,055 --> 00:28:36,225
I bought something for us.
645
00:28:36,725 --> 00:28:39,853
So I just thought I'd make this
for you and your... Your wife.
646
00:28:39,937 --> 00:28:41,480
No wife, sadly. Divorced.
647
00:28:41,563 --> 00:28:44,066
- It's just me and my daughter.
- What a coincidence.
648
00:28:44,566 --> 00:28:46,360
- Me, too.
- Oh.
649
00:28:46,568 --> 00:28:48,779
What do ya say
we dig into this delicious pie?
650
00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:49,863
Apple?
651
00:28:50,113 --> 00:28:51,114
Cherry.
652
00:28:51,198 --> 00:28:52,199
KEVIN: Mmm.
653
00:28:52,366 --> 00:28:53,617
ELLEN: Still hot.
654
00:28:54,701 --> 00:28:56,954
Oh, come on. Oh, you gotta...
You gotta show me.
655
00:28:57,037 --> 00:28:58,580
You gotta show me. Please?
656
00:28:58,664 --> 00:28:59,998
- Please.
- (SIGHS)
657
00:29:00,082 --> 00:29:01,416
Okay. Just a peek.
658
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,419
Oh, damn it!
659
00:29:04,503 --> 00:29:07,256
- Ugh! Uh, my Wi-Fi sucks.
- (CHUCKLES)
660
00:29:07,339 --> 00:29:11,552
Okay, all you need to know is
that they're tiny and lacy,
661
00:29:11,635 --> 00:29:14,346
and they have a remote control.
662
00:29:15,472 --> 00:29:17,766
You control your panties with that?
663
00:29:17,849 --> 00:29:21,853
Oh, nice. Oh, you got...
Turn it on. Mmm-hmm.
664
00:29:22,896 --> 00:29:23,897
(VIBRATING)
665
00:29:24,356 --> 00:29:25,357
(MOANS)
666
00:29:27,025 --> 00:29:28,735
- Oh, wow.
- (MUFFLED) Oh.
667
00:29:28,944 --> 00:29:30,237
It's so good.
668
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,030
That is so good.
669
00:29:32,114 --> 00:29:34,116
- (ANNIE MOANING)
- Mmm.
670
00:29:34,199 --> 00:29:35,659
I'm so glad that you like it.
671
00:29:36,159 --> 00:29:39,496
Oh, I like it. I like it a lot.
672
00:29:40,831 --> 00:29:42,082
Oh, shit.
673
00:29:42,165 --> 00:29:44,418
Oh, I've never heard you cuss before.
674
00:29:45,043 --> 00:29:46,962
I like it. Can you...
Can you cuss again?
675
00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:49,381
ANNIE: Holy fuck.
676
00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:50,841
(ELLEN CHUCKLES)
677
00:29:52,509 --> 00:29:53,594
(ANNIE MOANING)
678
00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:55,804
ELLEN: Mmm.
679
00:29:55,888 --> 00:29:56,889
Hmm.
680
00:29:56,972 --> 00:30:01,351
So, Kevin,
how long have you been divorced?
681
00:30:01,435 --> 00:30:02,519
Long time.
682
00:30:05,063 --> 00:30:07,900
Such a long time.
683
00:30:07,983 --> 00:30:11,361
Okay. You know, this has been great,
but I have a big test tomorrow.
684
00:30:11,445 --> 00:30:12,863
- I gotta go study for it, so...
- Oh.
685
00:30:12,946 --> 00:30:16,033
I bet Annie's studying
for the same test.
686
00:30:16,116 --> 00:30:17,951
- (ANNIE MOANS)
- JASON: Whoo.
687
00:30:18,619 --> 00:30:20,579
Okay. Whoa.
(CHUCKLES)
688
00:30:20,662 --> 00:30:22,748
- Oh, shit.
- Fantastic.
689
00:30:22,873 --> 00:30:24,458
- (MOANING)
- KEVIN: You go to East Great Falls?
690
00:30:24,541 --> 00:30:27,252
Actually we both do.
I'm the new principal.
691
00:30:27,669 --> 00:30:28,670
Huh.
692
00:30:28,754 --> 00:30:29,755
No way.
693
00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:30,839
You know what?
694
00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:34,218
Annie loves a surprise.
We should go up and say hi to her.
695
00:30:34,301 --> 00:30:35,886
Holy fuck.
696
00:30:35,969 --> 00:30:36,970
Whoo!
697
00:30:37,137 --> 00:30:38,138
Oh, shit.
698
00:30:38,722 --> 00:30:39,890
Oh, I'm gonna pop.
699
00:30:39,973 --> 00:30:41,391
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, honey, you busy?
700
00:30:42,434 --> 00:30:44,102
- No! Hey!
- (JASON MOANS LOUDLY)
701
00:30:44,186 --> 00:30:46,271
- Just... Just chillin'.
- KEVIN: Well, great.
702
00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:49,149
Because I want to
introduce you to your new principal.
703
00:30:49,233 --> 00:30:50,525
This is Miss Fisher.
704
00:30:52,069 --> 00:30:53,820
- Huh.
- Hi.
705
00:30:53,904 --> 00:30:55,405
I'm gonna pop!
706
00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:58,075
Oh, I'm popping! I'm popping!
707
00:30:58,575 --> 00:30:59,785
- Oh, I'm gonna pop.
- It's been giving me trouble all day.
708
00:30:59,868 --> 00:31:01,620
Just noises coming out of there.
709
00:31:01,995 --> 00:31:04,873
You know, funny story.
Annie and I have actually already met.
710
00:31:05,415 --> 00:31:06,917
- At the library.
- Oh, yeah.
711
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,254
I was checking out Moby Dick
and she had a cute little romance novel.
712
00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:11,463
How is that going for you?
713
00:31:11,546 --> 00:31:14,049
It's so good.
714
00:31:14,132 --> 00:31:15,300
- Good to hear.
- Yeah.
715
00:31:15,384 --> 00:31:18,220
You know, I wanna introduce you
to my son, Grant.
716
00:31:18,303 --> 00:31:19,805
- Isn't he handsome?
- (ANNIE CHUCKLES)
717
00:31:20,264 --> 00:31:22,099
- Nice to meet you.
- (VIBRATION ACCELERATING)
718
00:31:22,516 --> 00:31:25,435
- Oh...
- I'm Grant. Nice to meet you, too.
719
00:31:27,354 --> 00:31:29,439
You guys hear that?
It's like a hum...
720
00:31:30,357 --> 00:31:31,358
ELLEN: Mmm...
721
00:31:31,817 --> 00:31:33,860
No, I'm not... I don't...
I don't hear anything.
722
00:31:34,403 --> 00:31:36,363
(ANNIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
723
00:31:36,446 --> 00:31:38,365
(SOFTLY) Annie. You okay?
724
00:31:38,448 --> 00:31:40,826
- ANNIE: Oh, I'm...
- You know what I think would be good?
725
00:31:40,909 --> 00:31:42,828
I think it would be great
if we went downstairs
726
00:31:42,911 --> 00:31:44,955
- and got Annie a hot piece of pie.
- Oh!
727
00:31:45,038 --> 00:31:46,456
Oh, God, yes!
728
00:31:46,540 --> 00:31:50,210
Great. You know, sometimes a girl
just needs something simple.
729
00:31:50,294 --> 00:31:51,503
- (VIBRATION STOPS)
- Am I right, honey?
730
00:31:51,587 --> 00:31:53,964
Here, why don't you give me a tour?
Let's start with your bedroom.
731
00:31:54,339 --> 00:31:55,340
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
732
00:32:00,846 --> 00:32:01,972
(VIBRATING)
733
00:32:03,098 --> 00:32:04,099
(VIBRATION STOPS)
734
00:32:05,142 --> 00:32:06,476
- It's very high tech.
- Mmm.
735
00:32:08,103 --> 00:32:09,855
- Nice to meet you, Annie.
- Mmm-hmm.
736
00:32:10,522 --> 00:32:11,523
Yeah.
737
00:32:16,069 --> 00:32:17,070
(SIGHS)
738
00:32:18,530 --> 00:32:21,491
EMMETT: This year's
Homecoming theme is so exciting.
739
00:32:21,575 --> 00:32:26,580
So come as you dream,
because we are having a Pajama Party...
740
00:32:26,663 --> 00:32:27,831
{\an8}MORP! Whoop whoop!
741
00:32:27,915 --> 00:32:29,583
That's "prom" spelled backwards.
742
00:32:29,666 --> 00:32:33,086
Uh, instead of tuxedos and gowns,
put on your PJs and onesies!
743
00:32:33,170 --> 00:32:34,421
That's crazy!
744
00:32:34,504 --> 00:32:37,466
Now, I have the super
important responsibility
745
00:32:37,549 --> 00:32:39,509
of introducing our new leader,
746
00:32:39,593 --> 00:32:41,803
Principal Ellen Fisher.
747
00:32:42,137 --> 00:32:44,056
- ELLEN: Aw, thanks, Emmett.
- (EMMETT CLAPPING)
748
00:32:44,264 --> 00:32:45,265
Hello.
749
00:32:45,349 --> 00:32:48,018
I bet you're pretty surprised
to see me here in this position.
750
00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:49,269
- Well, guess what?
- Holy shit.
751
00:32:49,353 --> 00:32:50,395
I'm surprised, too.
752
00:32:51,063 --> 00:32:52,397
It is her. You're right.
753
00:32:52,773 --> 00:32:53,774
I told you.
754
00:32:54,733 --> 00:32:56,652
You said I'd never see her again.
755
00:32:56,735 --> 00:32:58,153
But I did.
756
00:32:58,570 --> 00:33:01,114
An hour later, in my bedroom,
757
00:33:01,198 --> 00:33:03,283
when I was using
a recently-purchased item.
758
00:33:04,493 --> 00:33:06,328
Ew, God. Private conversation.
759
00:33:06,411 --> 00:33:10,999
A strong, accomplished woman
who's very comfortable with her sexuality?
760
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,835
She's, like, the perfect role model.
761
00:33:13,919 --> 00:33:16,046
- (ELLEN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
- (SIGHS)
762
00:33:17,589 --> 00:33:22,010
ELLEN: It seems that Principal Shankman
retired, rather abruptly.
763
00:33:22,094 --> 00:33:25,430
But I know
we all wish him very, very well.
764
00:33:25,514 --> 00:33:28,392
So you guys, have a great day.
765
00:33:28,475 --> 00:33:29,768
Go, Trademakers!
766
00:33:30,102 --> 00:33:32,187
- Uh, trailblazers.
- Trailblazers. I know.
767
00:33:32,271 --> 00:33:33,772
Go, Trailblazers! (CHUCKLES)
768
00:33:33,855 --> 00:33:34,856
(BELL RINGS)
769
00:33:37,776 --> 00:33:39,069
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
770
00:33:39,152 --> 00:33:40,237
- Hey, you.
- (GASPS)
771
00:33:40,779 --> 00:33:43,323
Hi. Kayla, right?
772
00:33:43,407 --> 00:33:44,491
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
773
00:33:46,368 --> 00:33:47,536
I got your favorite.
774
00:33:47,786 --> 00:33:49,871
Wow! Thank you. Mmm.
775
00:33:50,789 --> 00:33:52,291
It really does taste like fall.
776
00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:54,001
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
777
00:33:54,501 --> 00:33:56,378
Oh, it so does.
778
00:33:57,212 --> 00:33:58,255
- You're so funny.
- Uh...
779
00:33:58,338 --> 00:34:00,465
I'm just gonna head to class. (CHUCKLES)
780
00:34:00,549 --> 00:34:02,968
Thank you, again, very much.
781
00:34:05,637 --> 00:34:06,638
Mmm.
782
00:34:08,390 --> 00:34:10,684
Hey. Who's that guy?
783
00:34:11,267 --> 00:34:12,769
Who is, uh... Oh!
784
00:34:13,144 --> 00:34:15,188
That guy. That's Grant.
785
00:34:15,772 --> 00:34:16,773
My friend.
786
00:34:16,856 --> 00:34:18,233
My special friend.
787
00:34:18,316 --> 00:34:20,485
We just broke up three days ago.
788
00:34:20,568 --> 00:34:23,113
Tim, are you jealous?
789
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,574
That is so cute. (SIGHS)
790
00:34:25,657 --> 00:34:28,327
You know, if you ever wanted me
to drop by...
791
00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:29,785
TIM: Uh...
792
00:34:29,870 --> 00:34:32,039
We're not getting back together.
793
00:34:32,164 --> 00:34:33,164
Oh.
794
00:34:33,247 --> 00:34:35,667
Back together? (WINCES)
Who wants that?
795
00:34:35,751 --> 00:34:36,793
(CHUCKLES)
796
00:34:36,877 --> 00:34:39,046
No, I'm just talking
about a little ex sex.
797
00:34:40,046 --> 00:34:41,131
Ex sex?
798
00:34:41,214 --> 00:34:43,425
How many times
did we sneak off during lunch
799
00:34:43,508 --> 00:34:44,968
and go do it at your place?
800
00:34:45,052 --> 00:34:46,510
What's a few more?
801
00:34:47,595 --> 00:34:50,349
Oh, I mean,
if you don't want to, I, you know...
802
00:34:50,432 --> 00:34:52,726
I think I have plans
with Grant anyway. So...
803
00:34:52,809 --> 00:34:54,353
Uh, lunchtime.
804
00:34:55,019 --> 00:34:56,021
My place.
805
00:35:01,443 --> 00:35:02,653
BOY: So, you guys
getting back together?
806
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,905
That's how a bad bitch does it.
807
00:35:09,868 --> 00:35:11,578
She was holding my spot. Yeah.
808
00:35:14,456 --> 00:35:15,457
Hi.
809
00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:17,584
Remember me?
810
00:35:17,668 --> 00:35:19,253
- No.
- Sure you do.
811
00:35:19,336 --> 00:35:22,256
Yesterday, your room,
you were pleasuring yourself.
812
00:35:22,547 --> 00:35:23,548
(ANNIE SHUSHING)
813
00:35:23,632 --> 00:35:25,759
Gross, don't say it like that.
814
00:35:26,343 --> 00:35:27,678
Well, how should I say it?
815
00:35:27,761 --> 00:35:29,513
Just don't say it.
816
00:35:29,596 --> 00:35:31,223
Ever. To anyone.
817
00:35:31,306 --> 00:35:34,601
Okay. I won't.
'Cause it's nobody's business.
818
00:35:34,685 --> 00:35:35,936
- Fries, please.
- Right.
819
00:35:36,687 --> 00:35:39,398
You know what, to tell you the truth,
though, I found the whole thing kind of...
820
00:35:39,481 --> 00:35:41,400
I don't know, endearing.
821
00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:42,859
(SNICKERS)
822
00:35:43,902 --> 00:35:45,112
I have a boyfriend.
823
00:35:45,195 --> 00:35:48,740
No, I know. I didn't get to meet him,
but he sounded really nice.
824
00:35:48,824 --> 00:35:50,450
- WOMAN: Eggplant taco?
- Yeah. Please. Thank you.
825
00:35:50,534 --> 00:35:54,788
Look, just because you barged into my room
while I was having a private moment
826
00:35:54,871 --> 00:35:58,250
with the love of my life,
doesn't mean you know me.
827
00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,418
I'm sorry.
828
00:35:59,501 --> 00:36:04,298
The "I'm about to pop, I'm popping" guy,
that's the love of your life?
829
00:36:05,007 --> 00:36:06,008
(CHUCKLES)
830
00:36:06,717 --> 00:36:09,887
I am in a mature,
committed relationship
831
00:36:09,970 --> 00:36:12,139
and if I told Jason
the things you are saying...
832
00:36:12,222 --> 00:36:14,725
Oh, you wouldn't be too happy, pal.
833
00:36:14,808 --> 00:36:17,644
Okay. Got it. Pal.
834
00:36:18,353 --> 00:36:21,899
Look, I wish you and your Internet lover
a lifetime of happiness.
835
00:36:22,941 --> 00:36:23,942
Enjoy your lunch.
836
00:36:25,027 --> 00:36:26,320
Thank you.
837
00:36:29,406 --> 00:36:30,407
(SIGHS)
838
00:36:31,366 --> 00:36:32,951
You're good at talking to boys.
839
00:36:33,035 --> 00:36:35,245
How do you start?
I'm having trouble with my opening.
840
00:36:36,747 --> 00:36:39,166
Well, the damsel-in-distress shit
usually works like a charm.
841
00:36:39,791 --> 00:36:42,461
(CHUCKLES) Well, I am not doing that.
842
00:36:42,544 --> 00:36:44,046
Girl, it's amazing how dumb men can get
843
00:36:44,129 --> 00:36:46,465
when they think
we actually need them, so...
844
00:36:46,548 --> 00:36:47,674
GRANT: Emmett, what up, man?
845
00:36:48,842 --> 00:36:50,052
STEPHANIE: Hello, sexy.
846
00:36:52,304 --> 00:36:54,306
Okay, why is my wet dream
hugging Emmett?
847
00:36:55,849 --> 00:36:56,850
Wait.
848
00:36:57,893 --> 00:36:59,519
You don't actually like Grant, right?
849
00:36:59,603 --> 00:37:00,979
I mean, he's not your type.
850
00:37:01,063 --> 00:37:03,357
What could you two
possibly have in common?
851
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,525
Undeniable animal magnetism, baby.
852
00:37:05,859 --> 00:37:08,445
Um, I have to go to, uh...
I have a library...
853
00:37:08,528 --> 00:37:09,738
I need to go to the... I have a book.
854
00:37:09,821 --> 00:37:10,989
I gotta... Bye. I'll see you later.
855
00:37:11,073 --> 00:37:12,783
- See ya.
- Text me.
856
00:37:12,866 --> 00:37:14,868
MICHELLE: Mmm-hmm.
Damsel in distress.
857
00:37:14,952 --> 00:37:16,578
Damsel in distress. Damsel in distress.
858
00:37:17,079 --> 00:37:18,455
That way.
859
00:38:02,374 --> 00:38:03,542
Oh, shit!
860
00:38:07,296 --> 00:38:08,297
- Whoa!
- (GROANS)
861
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,881
Ah...
862
00:38:09,965 --> 00:38:11,592
GRANT: You, again.
863
00:38:11,675 --> 00:38:12,759
You okay?
864
00:38:13,051 --> 00:38:14,219
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
865
00:38:15,178 --> 00:38:16,263
{\an8}MICHELLE: Yeah.
866
00:38:16,513 --> 00:38:17,514
Whoa.
867
00:38:17,598 --> 00:38:19,808
- Hi.
- Hi.
868
00:38:20,309 --> 00:38:24,730
I'm just so fragile and delicate.
869
00:38:25,439 --> 00:38:26,440
Okay.
870
00:38:26,523 --> 00:38:27,524
Wow.
871
00:38:28,191 --> 00:38:31,570
Your neck is very muscly.
872
00:38:31,653 --> 00:38:33,280
- Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.
873
00:38:33,363 --> 00:38:36,033
I think maybe we should
get you some medical attention.
874
00:38:36,116 --> 00:38:37,701
- Okay.
- Okay.
875
00:38:40,913 --> 00:38:42,205
Mind if I join you?
876
00:38:42,748 --> 00:38:43,749
Hey.
877
00:38:44,124 --> 00:38:46,793
What? Uh, no. Why?
878
00:38:46,877 --> 00:38:48,837
Oh, come on.
We don't even talk anymore.
879
00:38:48,921 --> 00:38:50,839
Yeah. Not since fifth grade,
880
00:38:50,923 --> 00:38:53,967
when you told everyone
I wet my pants at recess.
881
00:38:54,676 --> 00:38:55,719
But you did.
882
00:38:56,136 --> 00:38:57,846
No, it was a malfunctioning
water fountain.
883
00:38:57,930 --> 00:38:58,972
Oh, right. Okay.
884
00:38:59,056 --> 00:39:00,807
Look, I'm reading, all right?
885
00:39:00,891 --> 00:39:03,143
And I know this isn't a practice
you're familiar with,
886
00:39:03,227 --> 00:39:04,770
but it's a nonverbal cue
887
00:39:04,853 --> 00:39:08,148
which says I'm enjoying some
solitary time, so, maybe don't bother me.
888
00:39:08,232 --> 00:39:11,151
Okay, well I kind of feel bad about
the whole wetting-the-pants thing, now.
889
00:39:11,818 --> 00:39:12,861
Yeah, you should.
890
00:39:15,489 --> 00:39:17,282
Hey, the guy you were talking to, Grant.
891
00:39:18,242 --> 00:39:19,326
You guys friends?
892
00:39:19,576 --> 00:39:23,038
Uh, we've only been roommates at band camp
the last seven summers,
893
00:39:23,121 --> 00:39:24,122
so, uh, yeah.
894
00:39:24,206 --> 00:39:26,375
- Yeah, we're friends.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grant's in band?
895
00:39:26,458 --> 00:39:27,459
No shit.
896
00:39:27,542 --> 00:39:30,087
Yeah. He's an incredibly
talented saxophone player.
897
00:39:30,170 --> 00:39:31,463
- Boring.
- No.
898
00:39:31,546 --> 00:39:35,092
Sax is the sexiest wind instrument.
So it's not boring.
899
00:39:35,175 --> 00:39:37,970
Okay. What are his hobbies?
What's he like?
900
00:39:38,053 --> 00:39:40,472
Okay, you haven't
spoken to me in like nine years,
901
00:39:40,556 --> 00:39:43,600
so why don't you
go ask Grant these questions?
902
00:39:43,684 --> 00:39:45,561
Okay, look, Emmett,
I'm kinda turning over a new leaf.
903
00:39:46,186 --> 00:39:49,773
I'm looking to date
a different type, someone nice.
904
00:39:49,856 --> 00:39:52,234
And anyway, my charms of seduction
don't seem to be working on him,
905
00:39:52,317 --> 00:39:54,736
so I was thinking that,
I don't know, you'd help me out.
906
00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:58,365
You want me to help trick
my good friend Grant into liking you?
907
00:39:58,740 --> 00:39:59,783
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
908
00:39:59,908 --> 00:40:00,909
Hmm.
909
00:40:01,076 --> 00:40:03,954
Just so he can be another notch
on your lipstick case?
910
00:40:04,037 --> 00:40:06,748
Okay, news flash.
I don't have a lipstick case.
911
00:40:06,832 --> 00:40:08,959
And neither does anyone
under the age of 80, so...
912
00:40:09,042 --> 00:40:10,919
Look, dude, are you gonna
help me or what?
913
00:40:11,336 --> 00:40:13,088
(SCOFFS) Well, I foresee
a couple of problems.
914
00:40:13,171 --> 00:40:14,172
What?
915
00:40:14,256 --> 00:40:17,134
Well, Grant, he's got this
whole good taste thing.
916
00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:19,094
Yeah, and then...
And then there's my integrity.
917
00:40:19,177 --> 00:40:24,141
I'm reluctant to help trick
my friend into a romance with a dementor.
918
00:40:24,558 --> 00:40:25,559
(CHUCKLES)
919
00:40:26,685 --> 00:40:27,686
What's that?
920
00:40:27,769 --> 00:40:30,397
Dark creatures that
consume human happiness.
921
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,607
It's from Harry Potter.
922
00:40:31,690 --> 00:40:33,859
Wow, you are such a fucking nerd.
923
00:40:37,404 --> 00:40:38,697
Look, I'll give you 20 bucks.
924
00:40:40,449 --> 00:40:42,576
How dare you?
You know, this guy's a friend.
925
00:40:42,659 --> 00:40:44,995
It's $100 minimum.
926
00:40:48,206 --> 00:40:49,416
Better be worth it.
927
00:40:50,667 --> 00:40:52,294
Hey, I think we need a nurse.
928
00:40:52,377 --> 00:40:54,630
Injured student. Code Blue!
929
00:40:54,796 --> 00:40:55,797
Huh?
930
00:40:55,881 --> 00:40:56,882
No...
931
00:40:56,965 --> 00:40:58,800
No, no, no. No Code Blue.
I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.
932
00:40:58,884 --> 00:41:00,010
Grant, what happened? Are you okay?
933
00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:01,094
I've got this, Principal Fisher.
934
00:41:01,178 --> 00:41:02,471
Grant, put her in this chair, all right?
I'll get her to the nurse.
935
00:41:02,554 --> 00:41:04,640
- Here we go. You're good.
- No, no, no. I...
936
00:41:04,723 --> 00:41:06,016
- Hey, take good care of her.
- Good work.
937
00:41:06,099 --> 00:41:07,351
- But, uh...
- Oh, my God,
938
00:41:07,434 --> 00:41:09,061
- your hair smells so beautiful.
- (STUTTERS)
939
00:41:09,853 --> 00:41:10,854
(MICHELLE SIGHS)
940
00:41:10,938 --> 00:41:12,606
Seriously, it's fine.
You don't have to push me.
941
00:41:12,689 --> 00:41:14,942
No, no, no, we're not taking
any chances here, all right?
942
00:41:15,025 --> 00:41:16,735
Not with the Academic
Decathlon captain.
943
00:41:16,818 --> 00:41:18,362
We need you this weekend
against Parkway High.
944
00:41:18,445 --> 00:41:21,073
- You watch the Academic Decathlon?
- Of course.
945
00:41:21,156 --> 00:41:23,575
Are you the guy that's always
holding up signs and cheering?
946
00:41:23,659 --> 00:41:25,869
Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Oliver.
947
00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:27,788
Ollie, if you're nasty.
948
00:41:27,871 --> 00:41:29,414
Okay, I'm gonna ignore
that last part.
949
00:41:29,498 --> 00:41:32,334
Listen, Principal Fisher
and her son, are they close?
950
00:41:32,417 --> 00:41:34,127
Yeah. Yeah. Real modern family.
951
00:41:34,211 --> 00:41:35,629
Single mom, only child.
952
00:41:36,129 --> 00:41:38,173
And you're her student aide.
953
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:40,008
Do you need any help in the office?
954
00:41:40,092 --> 00:41:41,134
OLIVER: Yes!
955
00:41:41,218 --> 00:41:42,219
MICHELLE: Great.
956
00:41:42,803 --> 00:41:44,012
(BOTH MOANING)
957
00:41:44,096 --> 00:41:45,264
(WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING)
958
00:41:47,140 --> 00:41:48,141
(THUDS)
959
00:41:50,769 --> 00:41:51,979
(BOTH PANTING)
960
00:41:52,604 --> 00:41:53,939
(WASHING MACHINE
STOPS WHIRRING)
961
00:41:54,022 --> 00:41:55,023
Wow.
962
00:41:55,107 --> 00:41:56,608
- That was...
- Yum.
963
00:41:56,692 --> 00:41:59,486
- That was, um... (GRUNTS) Different.
- Oh.
964
00:41:59,570 --> 00:42:01,530
- Um...
- I like.
965
00:42:02,948 --> 00:42:04,116
Yeah.
966
00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:09,746
Yeah, something about
the, uh, impulsive nature of our meeting
967
00:42:09,830 --> 00:42:13,041
made me feel a little wild.
Didn't it?
968
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:14,668
Oh, yeah.
969
00:42:14,751 --> 00:42:17,546
Casual hookups, no strings, no emotions.
970
00:42:17,629 --> 00:42:18,964
I am so good.
971
00:42:19,423 --> 00:42:21,258
Whoo. I'm gonna head out.
972
00:42:21,341 --> 00:42:22,759
Wait. You don't have to go yet.
973
00:42:22,843 --> 00:42:26,263
Oh, no. Super fun frolic.
Bang ya later. Maybe not. Who knows?
974
00:42:26,346 --> 00:42:27,681
Gotta go back to school.
975
00:42:41,028 --> 00:42:44,281
Oh, so you just happened to be
in the library during your free period?
976
00:42:44,781 --> 00:42:47,242
- Well, that's one way to say hello.
- Sorry.
977
00:42:47,326 --> 00:42:49,912
Hi, Grant. I'm afraid
now is not a good time
978
00:42:49,995 --> 00:42:51,371
to inappropriately flirt with me,
979
00:42:51,455 --> 00:42:53,749
not only because I have a boyfriend,
980
00:42:53,832 --> 00:42:58,045
but also because my fascist French teacher
also decided he likes daily pop quizzes.
981
00:42:58,128 --> 00:43:00,964
So I guess I'll be spending
my free periods learning French.
982
00:43:01,048 --> 00:43:03,800
Damn. You're really feeling yourself, huh?
983
00:43:03,884 --> 00:43:06,178
I'm just sitting here,
minding my business.
984
00:43:06,261 --> 00:43:07,804
Oh, so you're not gonna flirt with me?
985
00:43:07,888 --> 00:43:09,181
I mean, I'm not, now.
986
00:43:09,264 --> 00:43:10,891
Took all the fun out of it.
987
00:43:10,974 --> 00:43:11,975
(SIGHS)
988
00:43:13,101 --> 00:43:14,102
All right, wait.
989
00:43:14,186 --> 00:43:17,147
I get it. Okay. You have a boyfriend.
990
00:43:17,231 --> 00:43:18,232
I'm sorry.
991
00:43:18,690 --> 00:43:22,653
It's just fun seeing you
get all flustered and worked up.
992
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,197
You know, I actually speak French.
993
00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:27,991
I'd be more than happy
to help you prep for the quizzes.
994
00:43:28,075 --> 00:43:30,911
Just friends. Study buddies.
995
00:43:30,994 --> 00:43:33,205
All right, no funny business.
996
00:43:33,288 --> 00:43:34,623
Truth is, I'm kind of lonely.
997
00:43:34,706 --> 00:43:36,792
I mean, I don't know anyone
at this school.
998
00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:39,294
You'd be doing me a favor, seriously.
999
00:43:39,711 --> 00:43:41,463
You really speak French?
1000
00:43:41,546 --> 00:43:42,798
Oui, oui.
1001
00:43:42,923 --> 00:43:43,924
(CHUCKLES)
1002
00:43:45,634 --> 00:43:46,843
Fine.
1003
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:52,808
Just study buddies.
1004
00:43:52,891 --> 00:43:53,892
Of course.
1005
00:43:56,103 --> 00:43:58,105
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1006
00:44:06,405 --> 00:44:08,782
A goddess on a mountain top
1007
00:44:10,075 --> 00:44:12,452
Was burning like a silver flame
1008
00:44:13,829 --> 00:44:16,290
The summit of beauty and love
1009
00:44:17,374 --> 00:44:19,251
And Venus was her name
1010
00:44:21,128 --> 00:44:22,254
She's got it
1011
00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:25,716
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1012
00:44:29,136 --> 00:44:31,096
I'm your Venus
1013
00:44:31,179 --> 00:44:33,974
I'm your fire
At your desire
1014
00:44:36,143 --> 00:44:38,687
Well, I'm your Venus
1015
00:44:38,770 --> 00:44:41,773
I'm your fire
At your desire
1016
00:44:43,901 --> 00:44:47,070
Her weapons were her crystal eyes
1017
00:44:47,779 --> 00:44:50,240
Making every man mad
1018
00:44:51,158 --> 00:44:54,286
Black as the dark night she was
1019
00:44:54,369 --> 00:44:57,080
Got what no one else has
1020
00:44:58,874 --> 00:44:59,958
She's got it
1021
00:45:01,251 --> 00:45:03,295
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1022
00:45:06,965 --> 00:45:08,634
I'm your Venus
1023
00:45:08,717 --> 00:45:11,887
I'm your fire
At your desire
1024
00:45:13,597 --> 00:45:15,933
Well, I'm your Venus
1025
00:45:16,016 --> 00:45:19,102
I'm your fire
At your desire
1026
00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:33,533
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1027
00:45:35,035 --> 00:45:37,329
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1028
00:45:38,789 --> 00:45:40,290
She's got it
1029
00:45:40,374 --> 00:45:44,127
This whole walk home I've been putting off
asking you to my mom's party.
1030
00:45:44,211 --> 00:45:46,129
You know, teachers, old people,
1031
00:45:46,213 --> 00:45:47,422
- total rager.
- (CHUCKLES)
1032
00:45:47,506 --> 00:45:50,801
And it's Saturday afternoon,
as if it's for a child, so, even better.
1033
00:45:50,884 --> 00:45:54,304
Uh, as fun as that sounds, I...
1034
00:45:54,388 --> 00:45:58,392
See, that excitement level was exactly why
I put this off until the end of our walk.
1035
00:45:58,475 --> 00:46:01,395
But lucky for me, your dad's totally
gonna make you go, anyway.
1036
00:46:01,478 --> 00:46:04,064
Yeah, I think him and my mom,
like, have something going on.
1037
00:46:04,147 --> 00:46:07,067
(CHUCKLES) Ew.
Anyways, see you at the party.
1038
00:46:07,484 --> 00:46:08,777
Wait. What?
1039
00:46:09,403 --> 00:46:10,904
- You're welcome.
- (CHUCKLES)
1040
00:46:12,030 --> 00:46:13,031
Ew.
1041
00:46:14,533 --> 00:46:15,784
(POP SONG PLAYING)
1042
00:46:16,994 --> 00:46:20,080
I was all caught up for a while
1043
00:46:20,163 --> 00:46:22,124
EMMETT: I've dug up great stuff on Grant,
so just, uh, wait here,
1044
00:46:22,207 --> 00:46:23,542
and don't steal anything. Okay?
1045
00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:24,626
Great.
1046
00:46:25,627 --> 00:46:26,837
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1047
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,548
Too bad I was acting like a child
1048
00:46:29,631 --> 00:46:30,632
(CHUCKLES)
1049
00:46:31,049 --> 00:46:34,177
I'd rather act like the woman I am
1050
00:46:40,893 --> 00:46:41,894
(CHUCKLES)
1051
00:46:50,235 --> 00:46:51,820
- What the shit is this?
- Wow.
1052
00:46:51,904 --> 00:46:54,907
Your grasp of the English language
continues to astound.
1053
00:46:54,990 --> 00:46:58,785
Uh, wow. Well, uh, I guess I don't
redecorate as much as I should.
1054
00:46:58,869 --> 00:47:00,412
Oh, hardy-fuckin'-har.
1055
00:47:00,495 --> 00:47:03,165
You have a picture of me. Framed.
1056
00:47:03,248 --> 00:47:06,168
I know you probably didn't notice this,
but I'm in the picture as well.
1057
00:47:08,462 --> 00:47:10,130
God, we were like nine.
1058
00:47:10,714 --> 00:47:12,299
Dude, why do you even have this?
1059
00:47:12,382 --> 00:47:14,051
I like it. Okay?
1060
00:47:14,426 --> 00:47:16,220
Look at these kids, all right?
They're friends.
1061
00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:17,888
No one's judging.
1062
00:47:17,971 --> 00:47:19,514
No one has their feelings hurt.
1063
00:47:19,598 --> 00:47:22,559
So I keep this around.
1064
00:47:23,685 --> 00:47:24,978
You got a problem with that?
1065
00:47:26,271 --> 00:47:27,272
No.
1066
00:47:27,356 --> 00:47:31,276
Now, if you're ready
to set your psychological sex trap,
1067
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,779
I've got a decade of backstory.
1068
00:47:33,862 --> 00:47:36,657
I can't express how much
I don't wanna go inside.
1069
00:47:36,740 --> 00:47:38,784
Okay, you know what?
It's time that you understand
1070
00:47:38,867 --> 00:47:40,994
what you want doesn't really matter.
1071
00:47:41,078 --> 00:47:42,454
Take me, for example.
1072
00:47:42,537 --> 00:47:45,707
I wake up every morning
and I drag myself to a job that I hate.
1073
00:47:45,791 --> 00:47:48,377
Ah, life lesson. Neat.
1074
00:47:48,460 --> 00:47:49,878
The point is...
1075
00:47:49,962 --> 00:47:53,632
I'm gonna be fine as long as
you don't cock-block me tonight.
1076
00:47:53,715 --> 00:47:54,716
Comprende?
1077
00:47:54,925 --> 00:47:55,926
Ew!
1078
00:47:56,218 --> 00:47:57,261
(BOTH GROAN IN DISGUST)
1079
00:47:57,344 --> 00:47:59,846
- Daddy! Gross. Yes.
- Gross!
1080
00:47:59,930 --> 00:48:00,973
Get in there and be social.
1081
00:48:01,431 --> 00:48:02,766
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1082
00:48:13,068 --> 00:48:14,069
KEVIN: Oh, yeah.
1083
00:48:16,071 --> 00:48:17,864
It's on like Donkey Kong.
1084
00:48:18,532 --> 00:48:19,741
- Donkey what?
- See ya later.
1085
00:48:22,953 --> 00:48:24,955
KAYLA: Party in the house!
1086
00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:28,417
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what are you doing here?
1087
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,669
MICHELLE: No way.
STEPHANIE: What up, bitches?
1088
00:48:30,752 --> 00:48:32,713
MICHELLE: What?
STEPHANIE: Is this a wake or what?
1089
00:48:32,796 --> 00:48:34,923
I'm super confused.
Why are you all here right now?
1090
00:48:35,007 --> 00:48:36,008
GRANT: Hey, Annie.
1091
00:48:36,717 --> 00:48:38,010
- Ladies.
- GIRLS: Hey.
1092
00:48:38,093 --> 00:48:40,304
Thank you for all coming
to my mom's lame party.
1093
00:48:40,387 --> 00:48:42,431
Wait. I didn't know
you guys all knew Grant that well.
1094
00:48:42,514 --> 00:48:45,434
Yeah, I only bought him, like,
three pumpkin spice lattes this week.
1095
00:48:45,517 --> 00:48:46,518
Right?
1096
00:48:46,602 --> 00:48:49,313
Well, he, um, carried me to safety
when I broke my leg.
1097
00:48:49,396 --> 00:48:50,439
(CHUCKLES)
1098
00:48:50,522 --> 00:48:52,149
ANNIE: When did you... Which one?
STEPHANIE: Break your... Yeah.
1099
00:48:52,232 --> 00:48:54,151
It's much better now.
Stephanie, what are you doing here?
1100
00:48:54,234 --> 00:48:55,569
- I came with Emmett.
- Who?
1101
00:48:55,652 --> 00:48:56,778
- (OBJECT CLATTERING)
- That kid. Yeah.
1102
00:48:56,862 --> 00:48:58,989
So, he's Grant's best friend
and I'm friends with Emmett,
1103
00:48:59,072 --> 00:49:00,490
so it's kind of like
Grant and I are besties.
1104
00:49:00,574 --> 00:49:01,575
- Right?
- Is it?
1105
00:49:01,658 --> 00:49:02,826
Sure.
1106
00:49:02,910 --> 00:49:04,244
Oh, and where's your boyfriend, Kayla?
1107
00:49:04,328 --> 00:49:06,496
I told you, Stephanie,
1108
00:49:06,580 --> 00:49:08,206
- we broke up.
- Mmm.
1109
00:49:08,290 --> 00:49:10,584
You keep on saying
how nonstop the sex has been, right?
1110
00:49:10,667 --> 00:49:12,127
- Yeah.
- STEPHANIE: It's been like dirty
1111
00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:13,670
and hungry, you know what I mean?
1112
00:49:13,754 --> 00:49:14,755
Okay, uh, let's have a little...
1113
00:49:14,838 --> 00:49:16,256
Can we have a little girls',
like, powwow, just outside?
1114
00:49:16,340 --> 00:49:17,382
No, I'm fine.
1115
00:49:17,466 --> 00:49:20,719
Okay, so apparently
you've all chosen Grant for the pact?
1116
00:49:20,802 --> 00:49:22,679
Yeah, he's smart and articulate.
1117
00:49:22,763 --> 00:49:23,847
Yeah, nice guy.
1118
00:49:23,931 --> 00:49:25,140
- I mean, he hasn't hit on me once.
- MICHELLE: Hmm.
1119
00:49:25,224 --> 00:49:28,435
Have we considered
if that's because he's just not into you?
1120
00:49:28,518 --> 00:49:29,519
Screw you.
1121
00:49:29,603 --> 00:49:31,688
Rule number three,
I'm calling you on your bullshit.
1122
00:49:31,772 --> 00:49:33,649
Making Tim jealous is not your goal.
1123
00:49:33,732 --> 00:49:35,609
STEPHANIE: And as your accountability
partner, I'm just reminding you,
1124
00:49:35,692 --> 00:49:38,070
- neither is kissing up to Grant's mom.
- Oh.
1125
00:49:38,153 --> 00:49:39,821
Rule number two, we are best friends.
1126
00:49:39,905 --> 00:49:40,906
We should support each other.
1127
00:49:40,989 --> 00:49:42,741
We shouldn't let some boy
come between us.
1128
00:49:43,075 --> 00:49:44,076
Us?
1129
00:49:44,159 --> 00:49:45,244
(LAUGHING)
1130
00:49:45,327 --> 00:49:46,995
I meant between you.
1131
00:49:47,079 --> 00:49:50,040
Right. 'Cause Emmett and I have seen you
having little French lessons with Grant.
1132
00:49:50,123 --> 00:49:51,124
Uh-huh. We've been studying.
1133
00:49:51,208 --> 00:49:52,251
"Studying."
1134
00:49:52,334 --> 00:49:53,502
I have a boyfriend.
1135
00:49:53,585 --> 00:49:56,129
God, yes, Annie, we get it. Thank you!
1136
00:49:56,213 --> 00:49:57,214
- (DOOR OPENS)
- GRANT: Hey!
1137
00:49:57,798 --> 00:49:58,799
Everything cool?
1138
00:49:59,299 --> 00:50:01,051
STEPHANIE: You know,
we should just table this. Okay?
1139
00:50:01,134 --> 00:50:02,135
- MICHELLE: But...
- Tabled!
1140
00:50:02,427 --> 00:50:03,470
Uh...
1141
00:50:03,554 --> 00:50:04,972
KAYLA: (GROANS) Stifler.
1142
00:50:05,389 --> 00:50:06,807
It doesn't seem like he's that into her.
1143
00:50:06,890 --> 00:50:08,767
Hmm. I thought you didn't care.
1144
00:50:08,850 --> 00:50:10,852
I'm just making an observation.
1145
00:50:11,687 --> 00:50:12,688
Right.
1146
00:50:12,771 --> 00:50:14,439
You two, guard the stairs.
1147
00:50:14,523 --> 00:50:15,857
I'm gonna do some recon.
1148
00:50:15,941 --> 00:50:16,942
What does that mean?
1149
00:50:17,025 --> 00:50:20,153
You know, check out his room,
scope it out, smell his underwear.
1150
00:50:20,237 --> 00:50:21,655
- I don't know. Bing-bang-boom.
- What?
1151
00:50:21,738 --> 00:50:24,241
That's kind of an invasion
of his privacy.
1152
00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:26,410
- It is?
- Hmm?
1153
00:50:26,493 --> 00:50:28,328
- (FAKE CRYING) Oh, my God, his privacy!
- Yeah.
1154
00:50:28,412 --> 00:50:30,414
- Just guard the stairs, nerds.
- Okay.
1155
00:50:33,834 --> 00:50:34,835
Oh, boy.
1156
00:50:34,918 --> 00:50:38,088
MICHELLE: You know, I think I'm gonna
do some recon work of my own.
1157
00:50:38,547 --> 00:50:39,881
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
1158
00:50:55,898 --> 00:51:00,736
{\an8}So, I do have some goodies,
but not enough to go around.
1159
00:51:00,819 --> 00:51:02,654
- Oh, I don't care if anybody...
- MICHELLE: Hey, Annie's dad!
1160
00:51:02,738 --> 00:51:04,740
Principal Fisher.
I just wanted to tell you
1161
00:51:04,823 --> 00:51:07,910
that I am so excited to have
a strong female role model to look up to.
1162
00:51:07,993 --> 00:51:10,329
- I was thinking maybe you and I could...
- Aw! Oliver!
1163
00:51:10,412 --> 00:51:11,413
(CLEARS THROAT) Hmm.
1164
00:51:11,872 --> 00:51:13,248
- MICHELLE: Uh, uh...
- Hi. Principal Fisher
1165
00:51:13,332 --> 00:51:15,584
doesn't wanna talk to you anymore,
but I would love to.
1166
00:51:15,667 --> 00:51:18,003
- Do you wanna hear my JFK?
- Who are you?
1167
00:51:18,086 --> 00:51:19,755
STEPHANIE: Something's been
missing out of my life.
1168
00:51:19,838 --> 00:51:21,965
You know, like a void
that needs to be filled, even.
1169
00:51:22,049 --> 00:51:23,050
(BONES CRACKING)
1170
00:51:23,133 --> 00:51:24,176
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
1171
00:51:24,259 --> 00:51:26,136
STEPHANIE: Okay, look,
I sense some resistance
1172
00:51:26,220 --> 00:51:27,596
and I really don't know
what the problem is,
1173
00:51:27,679 --> 00:51:29,806
so if you could just, like,
clear that up for me, that'd be great.
1174
00:51:29,890 --> 00:51:30,891
Okay.
1175
00:51:30,974 --> 00:51:34,061
Uh, well, for one, you hit me in the head
with a lacrosse ball, so...
1176
00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:35,562
Dude, it was an accident.
1177
00:51:35,646 --> 00:51:36,813
- Was it?
- Yeah.
1178
00:51:36,897 --> 00:51:38,649
Mmm... I mean, I saw the Venmo.
1179
00:51:38,732 --> 00:51:41,485
You got paid 20 bucks
for knocking out the new hot guy.
1180
00:51:41,568 --> 00:51:43,737
- Well, have you seen yourself?
- (CHUCKLES)
1181
00:51:44,780 --> 00:51:46,198
I forgot something in my room.
1182
00:51:46,281 --> 00:51:47,908
- I'll be back.
- All right.
1183
00:51:47,991 --> 00:51:50,077
- Nice ass.
- Yeah, thank you.
1184
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:53,538
(MUFFLED) Oh, shit.
1185
00:51:54,957 --> 00:51:56,083
What the...
1186
00:51:59,211 --> 00:52:00,462
(CAMERA CLICKING)
1187
00:52:00,921 --> 00:52:02,089
- (DOOR OPENING)
- Oh.
1188
00:52:04,258 --> 00:52:05,551
Grant!
1189
00:52:05,634 --> 00:52:06,718
Hi.
1190
00:52:07,302 --> 00:52:08,554
Hey, you're, uh...
1191
00:52:08,637 --> 00:52:09,972
- You're missing the party.
- (SNIFFS)
1192
00:52:10,055 --> 00:52:13,100
Yeah, I'm, uh, kinda hiding, actually.
1193
00:52:13,183 --> 00:52:17,938
That girl Stephanie is so extra
and kind of terrifying.
1194
00:52:18,021 --> 00:52:19,022
Oh.
1195
00:52:19,481 --> 00:52:22,359
Uh, for your information,
guys are obsessed with her
1196
00:52:22,442 --> 00:52:25,153
and she also happens to be
a really great person.
1197
00:52:25,237 --> 00:52:26,238
So, um...
1198
00:52:26,655 --> 00:52:27,906
I didn't mean anything by it.
1199
00:52:27,990 --> 00:52:30,284
She's really nice. Just not my type.
1200
00:52:31,577 --> 00:52:32,661
You are.
1201
00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:35,956
- Uh...
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
1202
00:52:37,499 --> 00:52:40,794
I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend,
1203
00:52:40,877 --> 00:52:44,006
and I'm not supposed to
say or feel anything,
1204
00:52:44,089 --> 00:52:46,592
and I don't wanna ruin
the only friendship I have.
1205
00:52:46,884 --> 00:52:48,010
No.
1206
00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:49,261
No?
1207
00:53:01,857 --> 00:53:02,858
(CAMERA CLICKS)
1208
00:53:05,027 --> 00:53:06,320
Oh, hi.
1209
00:53:07,154 --> 00:53:08,822
Breaking news, bitches!
1210
00:53:10,115 --> 00:53:11,116
Oh, shit.
1211
00:53:13,410 --> 00:53:14,411
(ALL GASP)
1212
00:53:14,494 --> 00:53:15,495
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
1213
00:53:17,289 --> 00:53:18,290
Whoa!
1214
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,001
Oh, shit.
1215
00:53:21,668 --> 00:53:22,669
(GIRLS GROANING)
1216
00:53:24,713 --> 00:53:26,632
Wow. It is like Donkey Kong.
1217
00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:28,926
I'm okay.
1218
00:53:36,516 --> 00:53:37,517
GRANT: Ow.
1219
00:53:39,102 --> 00:53:40,771
Okay, what the hell was that?
1220
00:53:40,854 --> 00:53:42,940
Let me answer that question
with another question.
1221
00:53:43,023 --> 00:53:44,483
- What the hell is this?
- (GASPS)
1222
00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:45,567
MICHELLE: Annie!
1223
00:53:45,984 --> 00:53:47,694
You said that you weren't
even interested in Grant.
1224
00:53:47,778 --> 00:53:49,696
First of all, shh.
Second of all, delete that.
1225
00:53:49,780 --> 00:53:51,531
- I... I didn't do anything.
- KAYLA: (MOCKING) "I didn't do..."
1226
00:53:51,615 --> 00:53:53,825
You were practically eating his face.
1227
00:53:53,909 --> 00:53:56,078
- That's dramatic.
- What'd it taste like?
1228
00:53:56,161 --> 00:53:57,621
Guys! I am sticky and embarrassed
1229
00:53:57,704 --> 00:53:59,748
and I just got rejected by a man
for the first time in my life.
1230
00:53:59,831 --> 00:54:01,083
- Oh, boo-hoo!
- Go cry me a river.
1231
00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:02,167
STEPHANIE: Let's just call it a day.
1232
00:54:02,251 --> 00:54:03,627
- Cool?
- Fine.
1233
00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:05,420
Fine. I don't even care!
1234
00:54:06,672 --> 00:54:09,091
Hey, Annie. Can we talk real quick?
1235
00:54:09,174 --> 00:54:12,636
- Uh, nothing to talk about.
- Really?
1236
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,889
How about the girl doing a photo shoot
in my lacrosse uniform
1237
00:54:15,973 --> 00:54:18,016
or I don't know,
how we kissed and you hit me?
1238
00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:19,268
We did not kiss.
1239
00:54:20,018 --> 00:54:21,019
You kissed me.
1240
00:54:21,311 --> 00:54:22,980
- Unannounced. Without permission.
- (SCOFFS)
1241
00:54:23,063 --> 00:54:25,566
Come on. You gave me permission
with your face.
1242
00:54:26,525 --> 00:54:29,194
You gave me kiss face.
It was... It was like...
1243
00:54:29,778 --> 00:54:31,947
- Oh, my face did not do that.
- Yeah.
1244
00:54:32,030 --> 00:54:33,031
- Yes, it did.
- It did not.
1245
00:54:33,115 --> 00:54:34,908
- That's exactly what it did.
- I'm... I'm just gonna go home.
1246
00:54:34,992 --> 00:54:36,493
- Okay.
- So it was good seeing you.
1247
00:54:37,786 --> 00:54:38,829
- You live that way.
- I live that way.
1248
00:54:38,912 --> 00:54:40,372
- Yup.
- I knew that.
1249
00:54:40,706 --> 00:54:42,082
(SLOW FRENCH ROCK SONG PLAYING)
1250
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,649
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1251
00:55:19,202 --> 00:55:20,579
Bonjour.
1252
00:55:20,662 --> 00:55:21,997
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1253
00:55:30,464 --> 00:55:31,465
{\an8}(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1254
00:55:36,345 --> 00:55:37,804
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1255
00:56:06,458 --> 00:56:07,459
(GASPS)
1256
00:56:08,043 --> 00:56:09,044
(SIGHS)
1257
00:56:13,257 --> 00:56:14,466
(IN ENGLISH) No, no, no.
1258
00:56:14,883 --> 00:56:16,009
No, no, no.
1259
00:56:16,468 --> 00:56:18,011
You don't like Grant.
1260
00:56:18,095 --> 00:56:20,472
You love Jason.
1261
00:56:23,725 --> 00:56:24,893
(BELL RINGING)
1262
00:56:30,232 --> 00:56:32,693
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
1263
00:56:36,697 --> 00:56:38,490
Uh, biology is this way.
1264
00:56:38,574 --> 00:56:39,700
I'm going to see Jason.
1265
00:56:39,783 --> 00:56:41,535
This waiting around is making me crazy.
1266
00:56:41,618 --> 00:56:44,538
Wait. Are you cutting class?
You never cut class.
1267
00:56:44,621 --> 00:56:46,665
Some things are more important.
He's only three hours away.
1268
00:56:46,748 --> 00:56:49,126
I can get there, bang it out,
get my head straight,
1269
00:56:49,209 --> 00:56:50,502
be back before dinner.
1270
00:56:50,586 --> 00:56:52,838
- Annie, are you talking about...
- Sex!
1271
00:56:52,921 --> 00:56:55,924
I'm going to have sex
with the man that I love.
1272
00:56:56,008 --> 00:56:57,175
BOY: Yo, girl, go get you some!
1273
00:56:57,259 --> 00:56:58,635
GIRL: No glove, no love!
1274
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,555
Okay! I'm so excited for you.
1275
00:57:02,139 --> 00:57:03,640
Let me get this straight.
1276
00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:06,226
You went from Tim's girlfriend
to his side piece.
1277
00:57:07,352 --> 00:57:09,479
And you're happy with that?
Isn't that kind of like a demotion?
1278
00:57:09,563 --> 00:57:11,315
No, you don't get it. It's casual.
1279
00:57:11,398 --> 00:57:12,774
Girl, I invented casual.
1280
00:57:12,858 --> 00:57:14,067
That's not what you're doing.
1281
00:57:14,151 --> 00:57:15,527
What you're doing is
pretending it's casual
1282
00:57:15,611 --> 00:57:17,446
so you can still fuck the guy you like.
1283
00:57:18,488 --> 00:57:20,449
- Oh, my God.
- There ya go.
1284
00:57:20,532 --> 00:57:22,659
I do still like him.
1285
00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:28,081
Our casual, no-strings-attached sex
is neither casual nor without strings!
1286
00:57:28,165 --> 00:57:30,334
- There are feelings!
- Does Tim know that?
1287
00:57:30,751 --> 00:57:33,211
No. No, he does not, but he will.
1288
00:57:33,921 --> 00:57:35,797
He's gonna know right now.
1289
00:57:36,673 --> 00:57:38,425
- Okay. (EXHALES)
- Kayla?
1290
00:57:40,093 --> 00:57:41,762
- She okay?
- Who knows?
1291
00:57:41,845 --> 00:57:44,765
Well, get this.
Annie just left school to go see Jason.
1292
00:57:44,848 --> 00:57:46,433
No shit! Good for her.
1293
00:57:46,516 --> 00:57:48,352
- You know what this means, though?
- What?
1294
00:57:48,435 --> 00:57:49,436
Annie wins.
1295
00:57:49,519 --> 00:57:50,562
(LAUGHING)
1296
00:57:50,646 --> 00:57:53,523
She does. After she does the deed,
she's fulfilled her goal.
1297
00:57:53,607 --> 00:57:55,108
Kayla is still obsessed with Tim.
1298
00:57:55,192 --> 00:57:56,777
I'm absolutely nowhere.
1299
00:57:56,860 --> 00:57:59,238
And Grant seems to be the only guy
in school who doesn't lust after you.
1300
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,531
It's not over yet.
1301
00:58:01,615 --> 00:58:02,783
Oh, come on, Steph.
1302
00:58:02,866 --> 00:58:04,243
The MORP is in a week.
1303
00:58:04,326 --> 00:58:06,036
Champions are made in the last quarter.
1304
00:58:06,662 --> 00:58:08,247
Game just got interesting.
1305
00:58:13,335 --> 00:58:15,837
Hey. Hey. Glad you came.
1306
00:58:15,921 --> 00:58:18,215
- Um, I need to talk to you.
- Okay.
1307
00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:20,050
Why are we in the library?
1308
00:58:20,133 --> 00:58:21,552
Nobody ever comes back here.
1309
00:58:21,635 --> 00:58:23,095
Dangerous...
1310
00:58:23,178 --> 00:58:24,638
Sexy, huh?
1311
00:58:25,389 --> 00:58:26,390
(SIGHS)
1312
00:58:27,224 --> 00:58:28,267
Oh, you hate it.
1313
00:58:28,350 --> 00:58:29,476
God, I'm sorry.
1314
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,436
It was such a stupid idea.
1315
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,356
Look, I respect you
and I just want you to know
1316
00:58:34,439 --> 00:58:37,109
that this is always a safe space.
1317
00:58:39,111 --> 00:58:40,696
All right, pants off, make it quick.
1318
00:58:40,779 --> 00:58:42,281
I'm sure that will not be a problem. Oh!
1319
00:58:43,323 --> 00:58:44,741
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- (CHUCKLES)
1320
00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:46,618
Principal Fisher? Oh.
1321
00:58:46,952 --> 00:58:48,245
Sorry. I can come back.
1322
00:58:48,328 --> 00:58:49,496
No, that's okay.
1323
00:58:49,580 --> 00:58:51,915
Well, it's kind of a weird situation.
1324
00:58:51,999 --> 00:58:54,334
- See, I made this pact...
- No, no, no.
1325
00:58:54,418 --> 00:58:55,460
Sorry.
1326
00:58:55,586 --> 00:58:56,587
Um...
1327
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,130
I made this pact with my friends
1328
00:58:58,213 --> 00:59:00,716
that I would try and date somebody
who I'm really proud of
1329
00:59:00,799 --> 00:59:02,009
and who really gets me,
1330
00:59:02,092 --> 00:59:04,803
but I feel like in doing so,
I've kind of lost sight of myself.
1331
00:59:04,887 --> 00:59:07,014
I mean, I thought that Grant
was the guy that I wanted
1332
00:59:07,097 --> 00:59:10,601
because he's smart
and he's cute and he's socially conscious.
1333
00:59:10,684 --> 00:59:12,436
- Great job on that, by the way.
- Thanks.
1334
00:59:12,519 --> 00:59:14,271
But I don't even know who I've become.
1335
00:59:14,354 --> 00:59:18,442
Like, I'm pretending to be weak
and helpless to manipulate a man?
1336
00:59:18,525 --> 00:59:20,110
What would Ruth Bader Ginsburg say?
1337
00:59:20,193 --> 00:59:21,320
I mean, I don't need a man
to complete me.
1338
00:59:21,403 --> 00:59:24,239
I'm a strong, smart,
independent woman. Right?
1339
00:59:24,323 --> 00:59:27,159
Michelle, there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be in a relationship.
1340
00:59:27,242 --> 00:59:29,578
Everybody deserves a little romance.
1341
00:59:29,661 --> 00:59:32,039
But I do think
you're barking up the wrong tree.
1342
00:59:32,122 --> 00:59:34,124
I mean, if Grant were
the right guy for you,
1343
00:59:34,207 --> 00:59:36,793
you wouldn't have to be
anything but yourself.
1344
00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:39,880
It does, however,
make me think of another young man,
1345
00:59:39,963 --> 00:59:43,508
a young man who happened
to score 1,590 on his SAT,
1346
00:59:43,592 --> 00:59:45,969
a young man who volunteers
every single weekend.
1347
00:59:46,053 --> 00:59:47,054
(CHUCKLES)
1348
00:59:47,137 --> 00:59:48,764
You're describing my ideal mate.
1349
00:59:48,847 --> 00:59:52,309
He is obsessed with presidential history.
1350
00:59:52,392 --> 00:59:53,810
Are you shitting me, Principal Fisher?
1351
00:59:53,894 --> 00:59:56,104
I shit you not, Michelle.
Watch your language.
1352
00:59:56,188 --> 00:59:59,858
His name is Oliver Hawthorn,
and you work with him every single day,
1353
00:59:59,942 --> 01:00:02,402
and he clearly has
an obvious crush on you.
1354
01:00:02,819 --> 01:00:04,321
Now get out, I'm very busy.
1355
01:00:04,905 --> 01:00:06,365
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
- Right. Okay.
1356
01:00:07,950 --> 01:00:09,159
- Bye-bye.
- Thank you.
1357
01:00:09,826 --> 01:00:12,204
Oh, well, I mean, what can you expect?
1358
01:00:12,287 --> 01:00:13,747
She's been through a lot.
1359
01:00:19,836 --> 01:00:23,090
So, um, I hear you're into presidents.
1360
01:00:23,715 --> 01:00:25,300
Uh, just Kennedy.
1361
01:00:26,593 --> 01:00:29,763
"My fellow Americans,
ask not what your country can do for you.
1362
01:00:29,846 --> 01:00:31,098
- (MICHELLE MOANS)
- "Ask what you can do for your country."
1363
01:00:31,890 --> 01:00:33,141
(CHUCKLING) It's not
a very good impression,
1364
01:00:33,225 --> 01:00:34,226
but I mean, I'm trying to perfect it.
1365
01:00:34,309 --> 01:00:36,770
- Um, I... I actually have to go.
- Okay.
1366
01:00:36,853 --> 01:00:38,438
- Right now.
- Oh.
1367
01:00:38,522 --> 01:00:39,523
Bye.
1368
01:00:42,484 --> 01:00:43,777
Oh, man.
1369
01:00:43,860 --> 01:00:46,572
Since we broke up,
the sex just keeps getting better, right?
1370
01:00:49,575 --> 01:00:52,327
Hey, what's up? You okay?
1371
01:00:54,246 --> 01:00:57,791
What are the odds, uh,
this isn't just meaningless sex to you?
1372
01:01:01,086 --> 01:01:05,340
What are the odds, um,
that you're actually in love with me,
1373
01:01:06,425 --> 01:01:08,552
but you're just afraid
of your feelings
1374
01:01:08,635 --> 01:01:13,223
and, um, deep in your heart
you wanna stay with me?
1375
01:01:19,062 --> 01:01:20,147
That's what I thought.
1376
01:01:20,981 --> 01:01:24,067
Um, I can't do this casual thing.
1377
01:01:25,694 --> 01:01:27,321
Not with you. (SNIFFS)
1378
01:01:28,030 --> 01:01:29,489
I just want more.
1379
01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:33,577
I deserve more.
1380
01:01:37,122 --> 01:01:38,206
Bye, Tim.
1381
01:01:44,922 --> 01:01:46,590
ANNIE: Hey, Jason, it's me.
1382
01:01:46,673 --> 01:01:49,718
I can't really talk right now,
and I know you're in class anyway,
1383
01:01:49,801 --> 01:01:51,845
but I have a surprise for you.
1384
01:01:51,929 --> 01:01:54,056
So, call me back
when you get this, okay?
1385
01:01:54,139 --> 01:01:55,807
- I love you. Bye.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1386
01:01:55,891 --> 01:01:57,601
Don't let this slip away
1387
01:01:57,684 --> 01:01:59,853
Maybe this road leads to Rome
1388
01:01:59,937 --> 01:02:02,648
But, baby, you make me feel at home
1389
01:02:02,731 --> 01:02:06,485
Together we're unstoppable
It's undeniable
1390
01:02:06,568 --> 01:02:09,196
Let's go, go, go, go
1391
01:02:09,279 --> 01:02:12,449
Let's go all the way tonight
1392
01:02:12,532 --> 01:02:15,786
Take me all the way tonight
1393
01:02:15,869 --> 01:02:18,747
Baby, we can make this last
1394
01:02:18,830 --> 01:02:21,792
Nothing's gonna hold us back
1395
01:02:21,875 --> 01:02:25,128
Let's take it all the way tonight
1396
01:02:25,212 --> 01:02:28,465
Leave it up to fate tonight
1397
01:02:28,548 --> 01:02:29,591
- Thanks, buddy.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1398
01:02:29,675 --> 01:02:32,094
So let's go all the way tonight
1399
01:02:32,177 --> 01:02:34,221
- Up top, baby. Hit me! One more.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1400
01:02:34,304 --> 01:02:37,975
Let's take it all the way tonight
1401
01:02:38,058 --> 01:02:41,520
Leave it up to fate tonight
1402
01:02:41,603 --> 01:02:44,898
So let's go all the way tonight
1403
01:02:44,982 --> 01:02:49,027
{\an8}Let's go all the way tonight, tonight
1404
01:02:51,613 --> 01:02:54,283
JASON: I'm gonna pop.
I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop.
1405
01:02:54,366 --> 01:02:55,909
- Oh, I'm popping!
- (GASPS)
1406
01:02:56,535 --> 01:02:57,536
Oh.
1407
01:02:57,619 --> 01:02:59,413
Um, Annie.
1408
01:02:59,538 --> 01:03:01,415
- ANNIE: Are you kidding me?
- (CHUCKLES)
1409
01:03:01,582 --> 01:03:03,292
Uh...
1410
01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:04,543
It's not what it looks like.
1411
01:03:04,626 --> 01:03:05,877
- It's not?
- No.
1412
01:03:05,961 --> 01:03:07,379
Um, she's my math tutor.
1413
01:03:07,462 --> 01:03:08,714
ANNIE: Was she tutoring you right now?
1414
01:03:08,797 --> 01:03:10,048
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God!
1415
01:03:10,132 --> 01:03:11,550
- Just calm down.
- Calm down?
1416
01:03:11,633 --> 01:03:14,052
You think telling me to calm down
is gonna make me calm down?
1417
01:03:14,136 --> 01:03:15,637
Well, you're acting a little hysterical.
1418
01:03:15,721 --> 01:03:18,724
Am I? Am I a little bit hysterical?
1419
01:03:18,807 --> 01:03:19,850
(GRUNTS)
1420
01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:21,810
That really hurt bad!
1421
01:03:24,479 --> 01:03:25,731
Wait here.
1422
01:03:27,774 --> 01:03:29,109
{\an8}(MUFFLED)
1423
01:03:32,195 --> 01:03:34,156
Annie. Annie.
1424
01:03:34,239 --> 01:03:36,199
Annie, honey. Honey. Honey.
1425
01:03:36,283 --> 01:03:39,328
Sorry. Annie, um,
talk to you one second?
1426
01:03:39,411 --> 01:03:40,579
- What?
- Please.
1427
01:03:40,662 --> 01:03:42,205
What do you wanna say?
1428
01:03:42,623 --> 01:03:45,792
I don't know.
Long distance relationships are rough.
1429
01:03:45,876 --> 01:03:47,085
Oh, is that right?
1430
01:03:47,169 --> 01:03:49,087
Yeah, I mean,
there's so many hot chicks here.
1431
01:03:49,713 --> 01:03:51,673
You're hot too, obviously.
Of course.
1432
01:03:51,757 --> 01:03:53,383
It's just, you know,
you're not college-hot.
1433
01:03:53,467 --> 01:03:54,718
Your brain is hot.
1434
01:03:54,801 --> 01:03:57,971
Jason, I'm breaking up with you.
1435
01:03:58,055 --> 01:04:01,099
I only came here because I felt guilty.
1436
01:04:01,183 --> 01:04:03,185
I like someone else.
1437
01:04:03,268 --> 01:04:06,438
He kissed me and I liked it,
and it freaked me out.
1438
01:04:06,521 --> 01:04:07,522
Okay.
1439
01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:10,525
So, I thought if I came here,
if I saw you,
1440
01:04:10,609 --> 01:04:14,071
if we made love, then my feelings for you
would come rushing back.
1441
01:04:15,322 --> 01:04:16,657
When I saw you with her,
1442
01:04:17,783 --> 01:04:20,953
after the anger, you know what I felt?
1443
01:04:22,621 --> 01:04:23,830
I felt relief.
1444
01:04:25,207 --> 01:04:26,208
Some dude kissed you?
1445
01:04:26,458 --> 01:04:27,459
(CHUCKLES)
1446
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:28,961
What?
1447
01:04:30,963 --> 01:04:33,173
You're just really not
who I wanted you to be.
1448
01:04:35,467 --> 01:04:37,594
Wow, that was... That was rough.
1449
01:04:40,138 --> 01:04:42,266
GIRL 1: Nice towel, douchebag.
1450
01:04:42,349 --> 01:04:43,976
(GIRL 2 SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
1451
01:04:52,025 --> 01:04:53,610
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
1452
01:04:56,405 --> 01:04:57,406
- (ANNIE CLEARS THROAT)
- Oh.
1453
01:04:57,864 --> 01:04:58,865
Oh.
1454
01:04:59,074 --> 01:05:00,576
Annie, have you been crying?
1455
01:05:01,201 --> 01:05:02,703
Oh, honey.
1456
01:05:02,786 --> 01:05:04,538
Oh, I think I know what this is.
1457
01:05:04,955 --> 01:05:05,956
Annie, don't worry.
1458
01:05:06,039 --> 01:05:08,500
Ellen's not trying to become
your new mommy.
1459
01:05:08,834 --> 01:05:12,170
- Oh, my God.
- Honey, that's not why she's upset.
1460
01:05:12,254 --> 01:05:15,841
Clearly, she's mortified 'cause she just
walked in on us about to have sex.
1461
01:05:16,383 --> 01:05:18,343
Yeah. Yeah. What she said.
1462
01:05:18,635 --> 01:05:22,598
Oh. (CHUCKLES) No, this is...
This is just a casual thing.
1463
01:05:22,681 --> 01:05:24,516
- I think the kids call it F-buddies.
- (CHORTLES)
1464
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,184
On that note, okay.
1465
01:05:26,268 --> 01:05:28,061
Oh, God. Oh, God.
1466
01:05:29,771 --> 01:05:31,148
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1467
01:05:31,815 --> 01:05:34,610
KEVIN: Annie? Can I come in.
1468
01:05:34,985 --> 01:05:36,028
Okay.
1469
01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:54,171
Annie, did, um...
Did what you see downstairs upset you?
1470
01:05:54,254 --> 01:05:56,632
Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.
1471
01:05:57,174 --> 01:05:58,926
Everyone's having sex but me.
1472
01:05:59,593 --> 01:06:00,636
Sex?
1473
01:06:00,719 --> 01:06:03,722
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say it.
1474
01:06:05,140 --> 01:06:06,808
I broke up with Jason.
1475
01:06:08,185 --> 01:06:09,186
Oh.
1476
01:06:09,519 --> 01:06:11,021
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
1477
01:06:12,314 --> 01:06:13,315
I'm not.
1478
01:06:13,398 --> 01:06:14,399
(CHUCKLES)
1479
01:06:15,943 --> 01:06:16,985
Oh, babe.
1480
01:06:17,069 --> 01:06:20,864
You are the most
incredible person I know.
1481
01:06:20,948 --> 01:06:23,909
You're so smart, you're so funny.
1482
01:06:24,785 --> 01:06:26,245
You are so beautiful.
1483
01:06:26,870 --> 01:06:28,580
I don't need a pep talk, Dad.
1484
01:06:28,664 --> 01:06:31,416
That Jason never deserved you.
1485
01:06:33,543 --> 01:06:38,006
- And I never liked the guy, so there!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
1486
01:06:38,090 --> 01:06:39,216
Wait. Really?
1487
01:06:39,299 --> 01:06:41,802
- No. He was a total brobag.
- (CHUCKLES)
1488
01:06:44,012 --> 01:06:45,514
BOTH: Mmm.
1489
01:06:45,931 --> 01:06:47,182
I love you, Dad.
1490
01:06:48,308 --> 01:06:49,601
I love you too, babe.
1491
01:06:54,856 --> 01:06:56,066
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1492
01:06:58,735 --> 01:06:59,903
(BELL RINGING)
1493
01:07:00,904 --> 01:07:03,448
- Grant. Hey-hey.
- Hey.
1494
01:07:03,532 --> 01:07:06,535
So, I'm having a little gathering
at my place tonight,
1495
01:07:06,618 --> 01:07:07,661
if you wanna come.
1496
01:07:08,370 --> 01:07:10,539
Cool. Have you seen Annie, by chance?
1497
01:07:11,290 --> 01:07:12,291
Oh.
1498
01:07:12,374 --> 01:07:14,960
Oh, well, she went to go
visit her boyfriend at college yesterday.
1499
01:07:15,043 --> 01:07:17,129
Yeah, they're probably
still banging it out.
1500
01:07:17,212 --> 01:07:18,213
But back to my thing.
1501
01:07:18,297 --> 01:07:21,842
So, my favorite saxophone
player, Vladimir Ullich, he's amazing...
1502
01:07:21,925 --> 01:07:24,052
- Are... Are you being serious?
- What?
1503
01:07:24,136 --> 01:07:26,972
Vladimir Ullich is, like,
my favorite musician of all time.
1504
01:07:27,055 --> 01:07:28,140
- Is it really?
- Yeah.
1505
01:07:28,223 --> 01:07:30,267
What... What are the odds
of that happening?
1506
01:07:30,350 --> 01:07:32,269
- Not high.
- Well, you should stop by then.
1507
01:07:32,352 --> 01:07:34,980
It's, like, a listening party.
Like, we'll play it all night.
1508
01:07:35,063 --> 01:07:37,024
I mean, I'm quirky, so...
1509
01:07:37,107 --> 01:07:38,483
You know what? Cool.
1510
01:07:38,567 --> 01:07:39,651
- Oh, great.
- Great.
1511
01:07:39,735 --> 01:07:40,903
- Great. I'll see you there.
- All right
1512
01:07:40,986 --> 01:07:41,987
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1513
01:07:42,070 --> 01:07:43,280
Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous
1514
01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:44,531
Drop dead
1515
01:07:44,615 --> 01:07:47,117
- (SONG STOPS)
- Oh. My bad. I'll see you.
1516
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,827
- Okay.
- Okay. Bye.
1517
01:07:48,911 --> 01:07:49,912
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1518
01:07:49,995 --> 01:07:51,622
Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous
1519
01:07:51,705 --> 01:07:52,831
Drop dead
1520
01:07:52,915 --> 01:07:54,041
KAYLA: Freeze!
1521
01:07:54,291 --> 01:07:55,417
I got eyes on Annie.
1522
01:07:55,709 --> 01:07:56,710
Quad, stat.
1523
01:07:57,044 --> 01:07:58,045
(EXHALES)
1524
01:07:58,128 --> 01:08:00,505
- Well, well, well, look who it is.
- What's this?
1525
01:08:00,756 --> 01:08:02,382
- Well, well, well, look...
- I already did that.
1526
01:08:02,466 --> 01:08:03,800
- Damn it.
- STEPHANIE: Annie!
1527
01:08:03,884 --> 01:08:06,470
You disappear, lose your virginity,
no call, no text?
1528
01:08:06,553 --> 01:08:07,930
Like, you ghosted us.
1529
01:08:08,847 --> 01:08:10,849
Sorry. I've just been dead.
1530
01:08:11,391 --> 01:08:12,726
Because of all the sex?
1531
01:08:12,851 --> 01:08:14,603
Girl, this is a big-ass moment for you.
1532
01:08:14,728 --> 01:08:16,771
- (BELL RINGING)
- Shit!
1533
01:08:16,855 --> 01:08:19,233
Okay, we'll talk tonight? But you all
are coming to my party tonight, right?
1534
01:08:19,315 --> 01:08:20,650
- Yeah, duh.
- Okay. Great.
1535
01:08:20,734 --> 01:08:23,153
And since Annie has had
sweet Freeform TV sex,
1536
01:08:23,237 --> 01:08:25,697
I'll swoop in and seduce
the lovely Grant. (CLICKS TONGUE)
1537
01:08:25,781 --> 01:08:28,449
KAYLA: Yes! What's up! Whoo!
MICHELLE: Yeah!
1538
01:08:28,533 --> 01:08:31,203
KAYLA: (SING-SONG) Mama had sex!
STEPHANIE: She ain't a virgin!
1539
01:08:31,286 --> 01:08:32,287
{\an8}(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
1540
01:08:32,371 --> 01:08:34,206
{\an8}We make the beat go
boom, boom, boom
1541
01:08:34,288 --> 01:08:35,958
Boom, boom, boom
1542
01:08:36,041 --> 01:08:39,168
I like the sound it makes
Boom, boom, boom
1543
01:08:39,253 --> 01:08:41,337
You do this kind of thing
every weekend?
1544
01:08:41,421 --> 01:08:44,382
Stifler's parties are the bedrock
on which East Great Falls was built.
1545
01:08:44,507 --> 01:08:47,886
And tonight, we're using the party gods
to seduce the new guy.
1546
01:08:47,970 --> 01:08:50,305
(LAUGHS) Wow. You need to sacrifice
a virgin or something?
1547
01:08:50,389 --> 01:08:51,765
No, don't worry, you're safe.
1548
01:08:51,848 --> 01:08:53,308
Okay, so we thought of everything, right?
1549
01:08:53,391 --> 01:08:55,894
- Grant's favorite music, snacks, drinks?
- Yeah.
1550
01:08:55,978 --> 01:08:57,479
I mean, I'm even wearing
his favorite color.
1551
01:08:57,688 --> 01:08:59,605
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
1552
01:08:59,982 --> 01:09:01,525
- He's a lucky guy.
- I know.
1553
01:09:02,234 --> 01:09:03,235
Oh.
1554
01:09:04,778 --> 01:09:06,029
Here you go.
1555
01:09:06,863 --> 01:09:08,198
What... What's this?
1556
01:09:08,739 --> 01:09:10,701
Wait, I pay you
and you buy me something?
1557
01:09:11,493 --> 01:09:12,703
That's fucking stupid.
1558
01:09:12,786 --> 01:09:15,747
- The usual response is, "Thank you."
- Mmm.
1559
01:09:20,002 --> 01:09:21,253
It's a lipstick case.
1560
01:09:23,505 --> 01:09:25,507
On, uh...
On which to make notches.
1561
01:09:27,759 --> 01:09:29,636
It's a present, a thoughtful one.
1562
01:09:31,596 --> 01:09:33,765
- I also wrapped it.
- Yeah, and you...
1563
01:09:33,849 --> 01:09:35,183
- And you wrapped it. Uh...
- KAYLA: Whoo!
1564
01:09:36,685 --> 01:09:38,854
Well, my girls are here
so I should... I should go.
1565
01:09:40,396 --> 01:09:41,857
- Sure.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
1566
01:09:42,774 --> 01:09:43,775
Hey, hey. Uh...
1567
01:09:45,569 --> 01:09:46,612
Good luck with Grant.
1568
01:09:47,362 --> 01:09:49,656
Emmett, thank you. For everything.
1569
01:09:50,489 --> 01:09:53,076
And my present. I love it.
1570
01:09:57,247 --> 01:09:59,708
What up, bitches!
1571
01:09:59,791 --> 01:10:01,293
Welcome to Bang-Grant Palooza!
1572
01:10:01,543 --> 01:10:03,337
- Ow.
- Hi, boo-boo, how are you?
1573
01:10:03,420 --> 01:10:05,047
Hey, you know, being a good winner
1574
01:10:05,130 --> 01:10:07,049
is just as important
as being a good loser, Steph.
1575
01:10:07,132 --> 01:10:08,759
- Oh, you're throwing shade?
- Way to read a room.
1576
01:10:09,343 --> 01:10:11,178
Guys, when did this
turn into a competition?
1577
01:10:11,261 --> 01:10:13,680
This was never supposed to be
about us competing for a boy.
1578
01:10:13,764 --> 01:10:15,474
Yeah, this was supposed
to make me feel better.
1579
01:10:16,099 --> 01:10:17,643
I don't feel better.
1580
01:10:17,768 --> 01:10:20,979
Now you're gonna smash Grant
when he really likes Annie.
1581
01:10:22,105 --> 01:10:23,398
- BOTH: What?
- Uh, yeah.
1582
01:10:23,815 --> 01:10:24,900
When I was in his room,
1583
01:10:24,983 --> 01:10:27,694
he told her he liked her
and then he kissed her.
1584
01:10:27,778 --> 01:10:29,780
Okay, well you made it
sound like it was the other way around.
1585
01:10:29,863 --> 01:10:31,406
I can be a little extra sometimes.
1586
01:10:31,490 --> 01:10:32,658
Yeah, no shit!
1587
01:10:32,866 --> 01:10:34,201
GRANT: Hey, Emmett!
EMMETT: What's up, man?
1588
01:10:34,284 --> 01:10:36,453
MICHELLE: I mean, he's cute,
but he's not worth this.
1589
01:10:36,787 --> 01:10:38,372
- I'm out, guys.
- EMMETT: Ladies, hey.
1590
01:10:38,789 --> 01:10:40,707
- Look who I found.
- GRANT: Hey.
1591
01:10:42,876 --> 01:10:44,419
Oh. Uh...
1592
01:10:45,045 --> 01:10:46,171
What do you think of Annie?
1593
01:10:46,505 --> 01:10:47,506
She's great.
1594
01:10:48,298 --> 01:10:51,593
I mean, she's cool, smart, kind, funny.
1595
01:10:51,677 --> 01:10:53,887
Awkward, but in a really
entertaining way.
1596
01:10:53,971 --> 01:10:57,349
- Is she here?
- Oh. No, no, no, but she will be. Right?
1597
01:10:57,432 --> 01:11:00,018
Uh, can you guys just,
like, talk for a sec?
1598
01:11:00,727 --> 01:11:01,728
- I know. I know.
- (LINE RINGING)
1599
01:11:06,191 --> 01:11:07,192
(BOTH SCREAM)
1600
01:11:07,276 --> 01:11:08,777
Oh, my God!
1601
01:11:09,152 --> 01:11:12,739
- You are tightly wound. Wow.
- Oh, my God.
1602
01:11:12,823 --> 01:11:14,074
(LAUGHING) I'm sorry.
1603
01:11:14,157 --> 01:11:16,577
- I didn't mean to scare you.
- That's okay. That's okay.
1604
01:11:16,660 --> 01:11:19,663
Your father and I
just worked up a real appetite tonight,
1605
01:11:19,746 --> 01:11:22,165
so I'm having a little ice cream.
You want some?
1606
01:11:22,249 --> 01:11:23,375
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- Um...
1607
01:11:23,458 --> 01:11:24,668
Sorry.
1608
01:11:25,961 --> 01:11:26,962
Um...
1609
01:11:27,588 --> 01:11:29,089
Yeah, you know what,
I'll have some ice cream.
1610
01:11:29,172 --> 01:11:30,173
Great.
1611
01:11:30,257 --> 01:11:32,134
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- She's not answering.
1612
01:11:32,217 --> 01:11:34,386
Well, go get her
and drag her ass here. Okay?
1613
01:11:34,678 --> 01:11:36,430
- Okay.
- Come with me.
1614
01:11:36,513 --> 01:11:38,056
Ready for some sexy saxophone?
1615
01:11:38,140 --> 01:11:39,725
- She's back.
- STEPHANIE: Let's go.
1616
01:11:40,642 --> 01:11:42,561
Hey! I need to talk to you.
1617
01:11:42,853 --> 01:11:44,938
Tim, I cannot do this right now.
1618
01:11:45,022 --> 01:11:46,023
We have to go get...
1619
01:11:46,106 --> 01:11:47,941
Kayla, please.
1620
01:11:48,317 --> 01:11:49,610
It's cool. I got this.
1621
01:11:50,777 --> 01:11:52,029
Good luck.
1622
01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:54,907
I thought there was a party tonight.
1623
01:11:55,824 --> 01:11:57,326
- Not in the mood.
- Hmm.
1624
01:11:58,869 --> 01:12:00,245
Can I talk to you about something?
1625
01:12:00,329 --> 01:12:02,205
Should I be afraid of
what you're about to say?
1626
01:12:02,539 --> 01:12:05,292
- I can never tell. I just let it fly.
- (CHUCKLES)
1627
01:12:05,375 --> 01:12:08,045
Here's the thing.
I've noticed that you've been upset
1628
01:12:08,128 --> 01:12:10,339
and my son has also been upset.
1629
01:12:10,422 --> 01:12:13,926
And I wonder if you're both upset
about the same thing.
1630
01:12:17,971 --> 01:12:19,181
(ENGINE STARTS)
1631
01:12:23,268 --> 01:12:25,687
- SIRI: What can I help you with?
- Call Annie.
1632
01:12:25,854 --> 01:12:27,773
Here's what I found on the web for Fannie.
1633
01:12:27,856 --> 01:12:28,982
No, call Annie!
1634
01:12:29,066 --> 01:12:30,442
Calling Manny's Pizza.
1635
01:12:30,525 --> 01:12:32,694
- (SIGHS) No! Annie!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
1636
01:12:33,028 --> 01:12:34,279
- (SCREAMS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
1637
01:12:35,405 --> 01:12:38,408
- (GASPS)
- (GRUNTS) Gonna feel that tomorrow.
1638
01:12:38,575 --> 01:12:40,035
- MAN: (OVER PHONE) Hello. Manny's Pizza.
- Oh, my God!
1639
01:12:40,410 --> 01:12:42,329
- Hello!
- Oliver?
1640
01:12:42,412 --> 01:12:44,498
- Oh, my God, please be okay.
- OLIVER: Hi.
1641
01:12:44,581 --> 01:12:45,874
What are you doing in front of my car?
1642
01:12:45,958 --> 01:12:47,167
I'm trying to stop you from leaving.
1643
01:12:47,626 --> 01:12:48,752
I mean, you're the only reason I came.
1644
01:12:49,211 --> 01:12:51,088
Oh, my God, that's actually really sweet.
1645
01:12:51,546 --> 01:12:53,924
- Um, I have to go get my friend now...
- Do you mind if I come with?
1646
01:12:54,007 --> 01:12:55,592
I mean, you did just
run me over with your car.
1647
01:12:56,426 --> 01:12:57,427
Uh...
1648
01:12:57,678 --> 01:12:59,179
Okay, cool. Yeah, come on, come on.
1649
01:12:59,263 --> 01:13:00,305
- (GROANS)
- Oh, shit.
1650
01:13:00,389 --> 01:13:01,974
I don't like the way
you left the other day.
1651
01:13:02,057 --> 01:13:03,308
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- KAYLA: Tough shit!
1652
01:13:03,392 --> 01:13:06,979
Okay, I've got feelings and emotions.
1653
01:13:07,271 --> 01:13:10,566
I'm a little jealous
and a bit of a handful.
1654
01:13:11,191 --> 01:13:17,948
But if you can't take me
at my making-a-scene-at-a-party-ness,
1655
01:13:18,031 --> 01:13:22,744
then you don't deserve me
at my fucking-you-in-the-library-ness.
1656
01:13:22,828 --> 01:13:23,870
(CHATTER DIES DOWN)
1657
01:13:23,954 --> 01:13:24,955
You're right.
1658
01:13:25,497 --> 01:13:26,790
Everything you said.
1659
01:13:27,332 --> 01:13:30,669
Truth is, I don't want you
violating my trust.
1660
01:13:31,545 --> 01:13:34,006
But I do want you.
1661
01:13:35,090 --> 01:13:37,467
You're my lobster.
1662
01:13:37,551 --> 01:13:39,136
- Holy shit. (CHUCKLING)
- That's right.
1663
01:13:39,636 --> 01:13:41,013
- "You're my lobster!"
- Yeah.
1664
01:13:41,722 --> 01:13:44,808
- I didn't think you were gonna say that.
- GIRL: Oh, yeah, Kayla!
1665
01:13:44,892 --> 01:13:46,143
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
1666
01:13:47,436 --> 01:13:50,689
- High school is the worst.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
1667
01:13:51,189 --> 01:13:53,984
It is. And you think
that it's never gonna end, but it does.
1668
01:13:54,067 --> 01:13:57,279
And when it does,
time starts to move a lot faster.
1669
01:13:57,362 --> 01:14:00,741
So when you know what you want,
you should go after it.
1670
01:14:01,074 --> 01:14:03,160
'Cause you might not get another chance.
1671
01:14:04,244 --> 01:14:05,245
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1672
01:14:05,537 --> 01:14:06,914
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
1673
01:14:08,832 --> 01:14:10,834
Annie, get dressed. Grant is looking...
1674
01:14:10,918 --> 01:14:13,420
- Oh, Principal Fisher's here!
- In a bathrobe.
1675
01:14:13,503 --> 01:14:15,505
- Hi.
- Michelle, Oliver, is everything okay?
1676
01:14:16,256 --> 01:14:18,008
Oh. Yeah, I just didn't wanna
leave him in the car.
1677
01:14:18,091 --> 01:14:19,259
I have got a knee issue,
1678
01:14:19,343 --> 01:14:21,511
- but it's not as important as love.
- (CHUCKLES)
1679
01:14:22,179 --> 01:14:24,848
Um, Annie, Grant's at the party
and he's looking for you.
1680
01:14:24,932 --> 01:14:27,476
The whole pact is off.
We all know that he likes you.
1681
01:14:27,559 --> 01:14:29,895
- He does?
- Yeah, Annie, he does.
1682
01:14:29,978 --> 01:14:30,979
(CHUCKLES)
1683
01:14:31,063 --> 01:14:32,356
This is an incredible moment
and everything,
1684
01:14:32,439 --> 01:14:34,608
but Oliver is actually
much heavier than he looks.
1685
01:14:34,691 --> 01:14:36,026
I'm wiry but muscular.
1686
01:14:36,401 --> 01:14:37,569
- It's a family trait.
- Yeah.
1687
01:14:37,819 --> 01:14:38,820
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
1688
01:14:38,904 --> 01:14:43,825
Sorry, yeah, go wait in the car.
I guess I'll change and be right out.
1689
01:14:44,493 --> 01:14:46,870
I am so excited for you for tonight.
1690
01:14:46,954 --> 01:14:50,415
Now don't you be afraid to go after Grant
just because of me and your father.
1691
01:14:50,499 --> 01:14:52,834
We're not gonna
make you guys step-siblings.
1692
01:14:52,918 --> 01:14:54,795
We both know this thing has a shelf life.
1693
01:14:54,878 --> 01:14:56,838
Besides, he took
his last Viagra this morning.
1694
01:15:00,509 --> 01:15:03,262
I'm gonna go pretend I didn't hear that,
and I'll be right out, so...
1695
01:15:03,929 --> 01:15:05,138
Okay.
1696
01:15:05,222 --> 01:15:07,808
- (SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (SQUEALING) This is... This is so good,
1697
01:15:07,891 --> 01:15:09,059
and this is...
1698
01:15:09,142 --> 01:15:10,936
Wow, but, um you know,
1699
01:15:11,019 --> 01:15:13,855
uh, we have to actually
deal with some party stuff. Right? Yeah.
1700
01:15:13,939 --> 01:15:17,901
And so if you just wanna
stay there and just really soak it all in.
1701
01:15:18,819 --> 01:15:20,445
Let's just go, okay? Let's just...
1702
01:15:21,655 --> 01:15:22,823
EMMETT: Okay.
GRANT: Stay?
1703
01:15:26,577 --> 01:15:29,997
Okay. We keep Grant occupied with
his old man music until Annie gets here
1704
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,082
and then boom,
big romantic moment. Got it? Great.
1705
01:15:32,165 --> 01:15:34,585
Hey, wait, wait.
I thought you liked Grant, so...
1706
01:15:34,668 --> 01:15:36,837
I just kind of liked the idea of him.
1707
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:39,548
Look, Annie's my best friend,
and if she wants him, she gets him.
1708
01:15:40,215 --> 01:15:41,258
So maybe dating a nice guy
1709
01:15:41,341 --> 01:15:42,676
just isn't in the cards
for Stephanie Stifler.
1710
01:15:42,759 --> 01:15:45,596
Look, a queen bee walking around
like she owns the place.
1711
01:15:45,679 --> 01:15:48,724
Ooh, burn. Except I do own the place,
you fucking idiot.
1712
01:15:49,349 --> 01:15:51,184
Is this your stud for the night, Stifler?
1713
01:15:51,268 --> 01:15:52,769
I didn't think your standards
could fall any lower.
1714
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:55,772
Well, I haven't slept with you yet,
so I got that going for me.
1715
01:15:55,856 --> 01:15:57,774
Yeah, whatever you wanna tell people.
1716
01:15:59,443 --> 01:16:02,529
McCormick, are you telling people
we hooked up?
1717
01:16:02,988 --> 01:16:04,489
I never said I don't kiss and tell.
1718
01:16:05,282 --> 01:16:06,575
- Fuck you.
- No, no.
1719
01:16:06,700 --> 01:16:08,660
Hey. You're being rude.
1720
01:16:08,744 --> 01:16:10,162
- Emmett, don't...
- No, no, no, it's okay.
1721
01:16:10,829 --> 01:16:13,957
You have five seconds to
apologize or I unleash hell.
1722
01:16:18,253 --> 01:16:19,254
Five!
1723
01:16:19,338 --> 01:16:20,339
- (McCORMICK GRUNTS)
- Emmett!
1724
01:16:21,048 --> 01:16:24,468
- Wow. He, uh, hit me with his face.
- GRANT: What the hell?
1725
01:16:24,676 --> 01:16:26,345
Grant, can you just watch him
for a sec? Thanks.
1726
01:16:26,428 --> 01:16:27,679
Hey, asshole!
1727
01:16:28,472 --> 01:16:29,640
I don't like bullies,
1728
01:16:29,723 --> 01:16:32,226
and I don't like misogynistic douchebags
drinking my liquor
1729
01:16:32,309 --> 01:16:33,977
and disrespecting me
in my own house.
1730
01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:35,896
- I don't like you, McCormick!
- (GRUNTS)
1731
01:16:36,313 --> 01:16:37,564
Yes, bitch!
1732
01:16:37,648 --> 01:16:38,815
(ALL CHEERING)
1733
01:16:38,899 --> 01:16:39,900
(GROANS)
1734
01:16:40,859 --> 01:16:42,402
But you know who I do like?
1735
01:16:44,196 --> 01:16:45,197
Ow.
1736
01:16:47,741 --> 01:16:48,742
STEPHANIE: Hey.
1737
01:16:50,035 --> 01:16:51,286
(ALL CHEERING)
1738
01:16:57,167 --> 01:16:58,752
EMMETT: You kissed me.
1739
01:16:59,253 --> 01:17:00,629
You stood up for me.
1740
01:17:00,963 --> 01:17:01,964
I mean, you were my wingman
1741
01:17:02,047 --> 01:17:03,882
even though you liked me
more than a wingman.
1742
01:17:04,716 --> 01:17:06,218
And you bought me a present.
1743
01:17:08,053 --> 01:17:09,513
I think I just won.
1744
01:17:20,857 --> 01:17:21,858
JASON: You Grant?
1745
01:17:23,735 --> 01:17:24,736
Do I know you?
1746
01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:29,783
(INAUDIBLE)
1747
01:17:36,373 --> 01:17:37,374
Oh, no.
1748
01:17:40,711 --> 01:17:42,170
What is he doing here?
1749
01:17:43,505 --> 01:17:45,007
JASON: Yeah, man,
so there you have it.
1750
01:17:45,090 --> 01:17:46,592
Now you kind of know the people
you're dealing with.
1751
01:17:47,009 --> 01:17:48,385
What the hell are you doing?
1752
01:17:48,969 --> 01:17:50,262
Oh. Uh...
1753
01:17:50,345 --> 01:17:53,015
I just thought your new boyfriend
should know the truth.
1754
01:17:53,599 --> 01:17:56,143
Annie, did you and your friends
make a bet about me?
1755
01:17:56,226 --> 01:17:57,227
ANNIE: It wasn't a bet.
1756
01:17:57,936 --> 01:17:59,771
- It was a pact.
- JASON: Oh, bullshit.
1757
01:18:00,063 --> 01:18:01,106
Okay, all of these little bitches
1758
01:18:01,189 --> 01:18:02,941
competed to see who could
have sex with you first.
1759
01:18:03,025 --> 01:18:04,693
Annie texted me about it every night.
1760
01:18:04,776 --> 01:18:06,653
- It's not what it sounds like.
- Really?
1761
01:18:06,737 --> 01:18:10,782
We made a pact to go after
what each of us were missing,
1762
01:18:10,866 --> 01:18:14,870
and without knowing it,
we all kind of decided it was you.
1763
01:18:17,331 --> 01:18:20,500
And what was your thing, your pact?
1764
01:18:21,543 --> 01:18:23,420
For my first time
to be with a man I love.
1765
01:18:24,504 --> 01:18:27,674
- So that's why you went to see him.
- JASON: Yeah.
1766
01:18:27,883 --> 01:18:30,219
She's only talking to you
because she caught me with another girl.
1767
01:18:30,510 --> 01:18:31,762
You're just the fallback guy.
1768
01:18:31,845 --> 01:18:35,182
But, lucky for you,
I'm not into high school drama,
1769
01:18:35,265 --> 01:18:37,517
so you want her, you can have her.
1770
01:18:38,435 --> 01:18:39,937
- You know what?
- Whoa.
1771
01:18:40,854 --> 01:18:42,397
Annie's not yours to give.
1772
01:18:42,481 --> 01:18:44,942
And you say one more
disparaging word about her,
1773
01:18:45,025 --> 01:18:47,236
this high school kid
is gonna kick your ass.
1774
01:18:47,569 --> 01:18:49,404
Just speaking my truth, bro.
1775
01:18:49,488 --> 01:18:50,989
If she liked you
as much as you thought she did,
1776
01:18:51,073 --> 01:18:54,159
would she be driving three hours
to have sex with me?
1777
01:18:54,243 --> 01:18:56,286
No. You're just a piece of meat.
1778
01:18:57,579 --> 01:18:58,622
Whoa! Hello!
1779
01:18:58,705 --> 01:19:00,540
- My uncle's an attorney. He almost hit me.
- Shut up.
1780
01:19:00,624 --> 01:19:01,625
STEPHANIE: No. Back. Break it up.
1781
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:02,876
I hope you guys are really happy.
1782
01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:03,961
Look, Grant, we get that you're pissed...
1783
01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:06,463
No, don't...
You paid Emmett to get dirt on me.
1784
01:19:06,546 --> 01:19:07,547
Whoa. Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1785
01:19:07,839 --> 01:19:08,840
Don't.
1786
01:19:09,549 --> 01:19:12,427
You know, every person
I liked in this town lied to me.
1787
01:19:13,345 --> 01:19:14,888
And the person I liked the most
1788
01:19:15,180 --> 01:19:17,140
- chose this guy.
- Grant.
1789
01:19:17,224 --> 01:19:20,060
- Enjoy the party.
- Please don't leave. Grant.
1790
01:19:27,359 --> 01:19:29,861
KAYLA: Why didn't you just tell us
what happened with Jason?
1791
01:19:29,945 --> 01:19:31,196
Yeah.
1792
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,864
I didn't know how to.
1793
01:19:33,448 --> 01:19:35,450
You guys were all
so interested in Grant.
1794
01:19:35,993 --> 01:19:37,411
I didn't wanna mess it up for you.
1795
01:19:37,494 --> 01:19:39,454
Oh, my God. You should've just told us.
1796
01:19:39,538 --> 01:19:40,998
Yeah, that's all
we would've needed, Annie.
1797
01:19:41,081 --> 01:19:42,082
Yeah.
1798
01:19:42,165 --> 01:19:44,835
I mean, you know,
this is my fault for pushing the pact.
1799
01:19:44,918 --> 01:19:46,003
ALL: No.
1800
01:19:46,086 --> 01:19:49,298
No, Steph. The pact worked.
1801
01:19:49,381 --> 01:19:52,259
I mean, you found Emmett,
who's a nice guy.
1802
01:19:52,342 --> 01:19:53,969
- He is.
- ALL: Mmm-hmm.
1803
01:19:54,052 --> 01:19:55,095
(CHUCKLES)
1804
01:19:55,178 --> 01:19:57,639
And Kayla got Tim to compromise.
1805
01:19:57,723 --> 01:19:59,975
Oh, my God. You're right.
1806
01:20:01,184 --> 01:20:05,689
And, Michelle, are you as attracted
to Oliver's mind as you are to his body?
1807
01:20:05,772 --> 01:20:10,819
Oh, he turns me on in ways
that I can't even describe. (CHUCKLES)
1808
01:20:10,903 --> 01:20:12,529
See? It worked.
1809
01:20:13,322 --> 01:20:14,781
Yeah, for everyone but you.
1810
01:20:14,865 --> 01:20:16,241
No, it worked for me, too.
1811
01:20:17,618 --> 01:20:20,412
I went to Michigan State
with this image in my head,
1812
01:20:20,495 --> 01:20:25,542
and it all fell apart
because he was the wrong guy.
1813
01:20:26,084 --> 01:20:29,129
And that's big, so I'm glad we did it.
1814
01:20:30,005 --> 01:20:33,300
I mean, even if, you know,
I don't end up with Grant,
1815
01:20:33,383 --> 01:20:35,093
I'm better than I was.
1816
01:20:35,177 --> 01:20:36,178
Aw, come here.
1817
01:20:36,261 --> 01:20:37,512
- STEPHANIE: Aw.
- (MICHELLE CHUCKLES)
1818
01:20:37,846 --> 01:20:40,057
Little Virgin Annie.
1819
01:20:40,140 --> 01:20:42,643
- With the unshuckable oyster.
- Shut up.
1820
01:20:42,726 --> 01:20:45,896
- I want in. Unshuckable oyster.
- (LAUGHTER)
1821
01:20:45,979 --> 01:20:47,898
Get in here, Stifler.
1822
01:20:47,981 --> 01:20:49,691
- MICHELLE: Yeah, come on.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1823
01:20:49,775 --> 01:20:50,943
Say what
What?
1824
01:20:51,026 --> 01:20:52,027
Straight from the jump
1825
01:20:52,110 --> 01:20:53,612
Right on the tempo
Mix it all up
1826
01:20:53,695 --> 01:20:54,696
Say hey
Hey
1827
01:20:54,780 --> 01:20:55,822
{\an8}No time to wait
1828
01:20:55,906 --> 01:20:57,532
{\an8}Taking your move
to a different place
1829
01:20:57,616 --> 01:20:58,617
{\an8}Say hey
Hey
1830
01:20:58,700 --> 01:20:59,701
{\an8}Do what it takes
1831
01:20:59,785 --> 01:21:01,286
{\an8}Make like Tay 'n' shake
1832
01:21:01,370 --> 01:21:04,998
Get up and go, go, go, go
1833
01:21:05,082 --> 01:21:08,919
Get up and go, go, go, go
1834
01:21:09,002 --> 01:21:12,631
Get up and go, go, go, go
1835
01:21:12,881 --> 01:21:14,216
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1836
01:21:16,051 --> 01:21:18,303
- Light the fuse.
- Copy that.
1837
01:21:19,346 --> 01:21:21,848
Mama Bear, Papa Bear,
Operation Oyster is a go.
1838
01:21:32,609 --> 01:21:34,194
(MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)
1839
01:21:44,997 --> 01:21:46,415
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
1840
01:21:55,549 --> 01:21:56,758
This guy.
1841
01:21:58,260 --> 01:21:59,386
Hey.
1842
01:22:00,053 --> 01:22:01,972
Annie's dad's outside with a limo.
1843
01:22:02,806 --> 01:22:05,893
- What is that?
- It's a onesie, you moron.
1844
01:22:05,976 --> 01:22:08,937
- For the pajama party.
- Why do you have it?
1845
01:22:09,021 --> 01:22:10,731
(SIGHS) Honey, you know
that I love you
1846
01:22:10,814 --> 01:22:12,566
and I'm always gonna
tell you the truth, right?
1847
01:22:13,317 --> 01:22:15,193
- I know.
- So the truth is,
1848
01:22:15,694 --> 01:22:19,656
it's time for you to stop moping
because, baby, you're a real downer.
1849
01:22:20,574 --> 01:22:23,201
Listen, happiness
doesn't just find us.
1850
01:22:23,285 --> 01:22:25,537
You gotta go and you gotta grab it.
1851
01:22:25,829 --> 01:22:26,872
Take this.
1852
01:22:28,081 --> 01:22:29,958
- Take this.
- Okay.
1853
01:22:30,959 --> 01:22:32,127
- I love you.
- What do I...
1854
01:22:32,210 --> 01:22:33,670
You'll figure it out. Or not.
1855
01:22:33,754 --> 01:22:35,672
I don't know.
I've done everything I can do.
1856
01:22:35,756 --> 01:22:37,174
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1857
01:22:42,888 --> 01:22:43,889
Okay, this is your moment, Grant,
1858
01:22:43,972 --> 01:22:44,973
- and you're blowing it.
- Mmm-hmm.
1859
01:22:45,057 --> 01:22:47,267
But luckily, Annie has some
pretty awesome friends...
1860
01:22:47,351 --> 01:22:48,352
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
1861
01:22:48,435 --> 01:22:50,354
...who are trying to save you
from this terrible mistake.
1862
01:22:50,687 --> 01:22:51,980
Plus, we think you're pretty great, too.
1863
01:22:52,064 --> 01:22:53,398
And we sent you
a really cool onesie, so...
1864
01:22:53,482 --> 01:22:54,816
Okay, just shut up!
1865
01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:55,943
Game time, Grant.
1866
01:22:56,026 --> 01:22:57,027
If you really like Annie,
1867
01:22:57,110 --> 01:22:58,612
put on that onesie
and get in that fucking limo.
1868
01:22:58,695 --> 01:22:59,696
- See you soon!
- If you don't do it...
1869
01:22:59,780 --> 01:23:00,781
Gladiator!
1870
01:23:00,864 --> 01:23:01,865
(VIDEO ENDS)
1871
01:23:09,039 --> 01:23:10,457
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1872
01:23:11,291 --> 01:23:14,461
MAN: Hey, asshole!
Turn off the music!
1873
01:23:15,379 --> 01:23:16,380
(MUSIC STOPS)
1874
01:23:16,463 --> 01:23:17,464
(SIGHS)
1875
01:23:17,547 --> 01:23:18,882
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1876
01:23:18,966 --> 01:23:23,011
This day feels like
nothing but the right vibe
1877
01:23:23,095 --> 01:23:26,932
This could be the good life
Doesn't get better than...
1878
01:23:27,015 --> 01:23:29,643
- Hi, darling!
- Hi. (CHUCKLES)
1879
01:23:30,644 --> 01:23:31,687
Are you okay?
1880
01:23:32,479 --> 01:23:33,522
Not really.
1881
01:23:34,481 --> 01:23:36,149
I just realized you were right.
1882
01:23:36,316 --> 01:23:38,068
I've made sex too big a thing.
1883
01:23:39,027 --> 01:23:40,612
I tried to turn it into some...
1884
01:23:41,238 --> 01:23:43,740
It's for fairy tales. Stupid.
1885
01:23:43,824 --> 01:23:47,244
No. No, honestly I think you were right
about wanting it to be special.
1886
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,622
Look, I never had
someone who gets me
1887
01:23:50,956 --> 01:23:52,583
and cares for me, you know, and...
1888
01:23:53,709 --> 01:23:55,419
But Emmett makes me feel
like that for the first time.
1889
01:23:56,545 --> 01:23:57,671
Stop. Stop it.
1890
01:23:57,754 --> 01:24:01,592
I mean, it's nice,
and I think tonight, we might, you know...
1891
01:24:02,801 --> 01:24:05,304
Steph, that's great.
1892
01:24:05,387 --> 01:24:06,847
Great? Doubtful.
1893
01:24:06,930 --> 01:24:08,223
(BOTH LAUGH)
1894
01:24:09,266 --> 01:24:11,685
Special, yeah. Yeah.
1895
01:24:11,768 --> 01:24:14,229
- Yeah. I'm happy for you.
- Thanks, babe.
1896
01:24:15,772 --> 01:24:16,773
STEPHANIE: Oh, shit.
1897
01:24:17,399 --> 01:24:19,484
- (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)
- Are you ready?
1898
01:24:20,068 --> 01:24:22,279
- ANNIE: Uh, ready for what?
- Oh, you just wait, my darling.
1899
01:24:23,113 --> 01:24:24,448
You're scaring me. What is...
1900
01:24:24,531 --> 01:24:26,241
- Where are you...
- STEPHANIE: Just stay right there.
1901
01:24:27,492 --> 01:24:28,702
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1902
01:24:28,785 --> 01:24:30,370
We're young and in love
1903
01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:32,789
And we're running like the wind
1904
01:24:32,873 --> 01:24:34,291
We got it all
1905
01:24:36,793 --> 01:24:38,170
We're never alone
1906
01:24:38,253 --> 01:24:39,254
- (CHUCKLES) What?
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1907
01:24:39,338 --> 01:24:42,174
If we got each other
we can save the world
1908
01:24:44,968 --> 01:24:48,805
Explosions in the sky
1909
01:24:48,972 --> 01:24:52,184
I see colors fly
1910
01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:55,229
Old enough, old enough
1911
01:24:55,562 --> 01:24:58,273
Old enough to know that
we are young in love
1912
01:24:58,357 --> 01:25:01,235
Young in love
Young and in love
1913
01:25:01,568 --> 01:25:03,153
You and me, we can see
1914
01:25:03,570 --> 01:25:04,780
Time will stand still
1915
01:25:04,863 --> 01:25:06,448
If we stay young in love
1916
01:25:06,531 --> 01:25:09,243
Young in love
Young and in love
1917
01:25:09,868 --> 01:25:11,662
Yeah, we are young and in love
1918
01:25:11,745 --> 01:25:13,455
Yeah, we are young and in love
1919
01:25:13,664 --> 01:25:15,457
Yeah, we are young and in love
1920
01:25:15,916 --> 01:25:16,917
ANNIE: You made it.
1921
01:25:18,168 --> 01:25:19,544
You have some really great friends.
1922
01:25:21,004 --> 01:25:22,256
Seems like we both do.
1923
01:25:23,298 --> 01:25:24,675
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1924
01:25:24,967 --> 01:25:28,428
Old enough, old enough
Old enough to know that
1925
01:25:28,512 --> 01:25:29,680
We are young in love
1926
01:25:29,763 --> 01:25:32,474
Young in love
Young and in love
1927
01:25:32,891 --> 01:25:36,019
You and me, we can see
Time will stand still
1928
01:25:36,103 --> 01:25:38,772
If we stay young in love
Young in love
1929
01:25:38,855 --> 01:25:40,399
I guess that's my cue.
1930
01:25:40,899 --> 01:25:42,192
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1931
01:25:42,276 --> 01:25:44,403
Yeah, we are young and in love
1932
01:25:44,486 --> 01:25:46,405
Yeah, we are young and in love
1933
01:25:46,488 --> 01:25:48,365
Yeah, we are young and in love
1934
01:25:48,448 --> 01:25:50,492
Yeah, we are young and in love
1935
01:25:50,576 --> 01:25:52,244
Yeah, we are young and in love
1936
01:25:52,327 --> 01:25:54,329
Yeah, we are young and in love
1937
01:25:54,413 --> 01:25:56,164
Yeah, we are young and in love
1938
01:25:56,248 --> 01:25:58,292
Yeah, we are young and in love
1939
01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,376
- (SONG ENDS)
- LEAD SINGER: Ladies and gentlemen,
1940
01:25:59,459 --> 01:26:00,627
Annie and Grant.
1941
01:26:00,877 --> 01:26:01,878
(ALL CHEERING)
1942
01:26:01,962 --> 01:26:03,255
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
1943
01:26:06,592 --> 01:26:10,137
Well, she was an American girl
1944
01:26:11,138 --> 01:26:13,473
Raised on promises
1945
01:26:14,808 --> 01:26:17,644
She couldn't help thinking that there
1946
01:26:17,728 --> 01:26:22,024
Was a little more to life somewhere else
1947
01:26:22,774 --> 01:26:25,986
After all, it was a great, big world
1948
01:26:26,737 --> 01:26:29,406
With lots of places to run to
1949
01:26:30,490 --> 01:26:33,785
Yeah, and if she had to die trying
1950
01:26:33,911 --> 01:26:38,999
She had one little promise
she was gonna keep
1951
01:26:39,625 --> 01:26:42,878
Oh, yeah, all right
1952
01:26:43,378 --> 01:26:44,880
Take it easy, baby
1953
01:26:45,339 --> 01:26:46,590
Make it last all night
1954
01:26:47,758 --> 01:26:54,723
She was an American girl
1955
01:26:55,891 --> 01:26:58,936
- Oh, yeah, all right
- (ALL SINGING ALONG)
1956
01:26:59,645 --> 01:27:01,146
Take it easy, baby
1957
01:27:01,730 --> 01:27:03,190
Make it last all night
1958
01:27:04,107 --> 01:27:10,030
She was an American girl
1959
01:27:12,950 --> 01:27:14,409
- (SONG ENDS)
- (ALL CHEERING)
1960
01:27:15,285 --> 01:27:16,995
(CHUCKLING) What did you do?
1961
01:27:17,079 --> 01:27:18,830
- Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, God.
1962
01:27:20,415 --> 01:27:21,416
(MICHELLE LAUGHING)
1963
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:23,168
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
1964
01:27:23,252 --> 01:27:24,419
- Hey.
- Hey.
1965
01:27:24,503 --> 01:27:27,381
So, I... I guess they have
one more surprise for us.
1966
01:27:28,674 --> 01:27:29,675
Okay.
1967
01:27:30,050 --> 01:27:31,718
- KAYLA: Bye.
- Bye.
1968
01:27:32,010 --> 01:27:33,720
- (ANNIE CHUCKLES)
- What's happening right now?
1969
01:27:34,805 --> 01:27:36,265
(SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)
1970
01:27:37,432 --> 01:27:40,644
I've fallen too deep
1971
01:27:40,727 --> 01:27:41,979
Trying to swim
1972
01:27:42,062 --> 01:27:45,065
The current too steep
and it's pulling me in
1973
01:27:45,482 --> 01:27:47,442
I can breathe
1974
01:27:47,526 --> 01:27:52,030
Both hands around my heart
My heart
1975
01:27:52,114 --> 01:27:54,950
I can still feel the heat on your skin
1976
01:27:55,033 --> 01:27:58,370
My lips are begging to pull you in
1977
01:27:58,453 --> 01:28:00,038
I can breathe
1978
01:28:00,581 --> 01:28:04,585
Your hands around my heart
My heart
1979
01:28:04,668 --> 01:28:05,669
I'mma hold the door...
1980
01:28:05,752 --> 01:28:06,837
GRANT: What?
1981
01:28:07,212 --> 01:28:08,338
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1982
01:28:08,422 --> 01:28:13,802
For you there is no cure...
1983
01:28:15,679 --> 01:28:16,847
What are we, like...
1984
01:28:17,180 --> 01:28:18,181
Oh.
1985
01:28:18,557 --> 01:28:22,644
I made a pact, so I gotta stick to it.
1986
01:28:23,645 --> 01:28:25,230
You want your first time
to be with me?
1987
01:28:25,564 --> 01:28:28,984
Yeah. And the next few, I think.
1988
01:28:38,869 --> 01:28:42,748
Hey. This feels special to me.
1989
01:28:44,291 --> 01:28:45,542
Me, too, Annie.
1990
01:28:49,129 --> 01:28:52,382
Oliver, I wanna share
something with you,
1991
01:28:52,925 --> 01:28:54,551
something that I've never
shared with anyone else.
1992
01:28:55,969 --> 01:28:56,970
Oh.
1993
01:28:57,262 --> 01:28:58,472
You want me to use that on you?
1994
01:29:00,140 --> 01:29:01,350
On me?
1995
01:29:03,101 --> 01:29:05,604
And I want you right here, right now.
1996
01:29:06,271 --> 01:29:07,397
On Principal Fisher's desk?
1997
01:29:07,522 --> 01:29:09,650
- Yes, on her desk! Get up there!
- Okay. Okay.
1998
01:29:09,816 --> 01:29:11,193
And I know you know what I want.
1999
01:29:11,276 --> 01:29:15,322
You mean, "A man may die,
nations may rise and fall,
2000
01:29:15,405 --> 01:29:17,282
- "but an idea lives on!"
- Yes.
2001
01:29:17,366 --> 01:29:19,117
- Yes!
- (POP SONG PLAYING)
2002
01:29:19,409 --> 01:29:21,870
And we dared to go
2003
01:29:23,163 --> 01:29:25,040
A lover's bane
2004
01:29:25,374 --> 01:29:27,292
Forever will remain...
2005
01:29:27,376 --> 01:29:28,502
(MOANING)
2006
01:29:28,585 --> 01:29:30,087
Amazing. Shit.
2007
01:29:30,420 --> 01:29:33,048
(MOANING) Wow. Shit!
2008
01:29:33,465 --> 01:29:34,591
(MOANS)
2009
01:29:35,425 --> 01:29:37,553
Thanks. Learned that at band camp.
2010
01:29:37,636 --> 01:29:39,012
Yeah, I don't need to know that.
2011
01:29:39,096 --> 01:29:41,557
Kiss me now. Okay?
2012
01:29:42,307 --> 01:29:43,475
STEPHANIE: Now.
2013
01:29:46,687 --> 01:29:47,896
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
2014
01:29:47,980 --> 01:29:50,357
- I need to tell you something.
- What?
2015
01:29:50,440 --> 01:29:51,942
I've... I've never done it.
2016
01:29:52,442 --> 01:29:53,443
Me neither.
2017
01:29:54,570 --> 01:29:56,738
I mean, I've never had it
with someone special, you know?
2018
01:29:58,323 --> 01:29:59,324
(PANTING)
2019
01:30:04,162 --> 01:30:05,330
{\an8}Oh.
2020
01:30:05,789 --> 01:30:06,957
{\an8}MICHELLE: Yes!
2021
01:30:07,040 --> 01:30:08,083
Yeah?
2022
01:30:08,166 --> 01:30:09,334
(MOANING LOUDLY)
2023
01:30:10,294 --> 01:30:12,045
KAYLA: You like this?
TIM: Oh. Yeah.
2024
01:30:12,129 --> 01:30:13,171
KAYLA: This is hot.
TIM: Yeah.
2025
01:30:13,255 --> 01:30:14,339
- Dangerous.
- Yeah.
2026
01:30:15,215 --> 01:30:18,552
A little unsanitary, but, yeah.
2027
01:30:18,635 --> 01:30:20,262
I like it here. I like you.
2028
01:30:20,345 --> 01:30:21,388
I love you.
2029
01:30:21,471 --> 01:30:25,309
You are my queen!
2030
01:30:25,392 --> 01:30:28,312
- (MOANING LOUDLY)
- I am your queen!
2031
01:30:28,395 --> 01:30:29,396
- KAYLA: Whoo!
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
2032
01:30:29,479 --> 01:30:30,856
Ahoo
2033
01:30:30,939 --> 01:30:32,983
Stars are falling
2034
01:30:33,108 --> 01:30:36,570
Are we falling, too?
2035
01:30:36,653 --> 01:30:41,116
Ahoo, dawn is coming
2036
01:30:41,325 --> 01:30:44,745
What's this coming to?
2037
01:30:44,828 --> 01:30:48,749
On a night like this
2038
01:30:48,999 --> 01:30:52,502
On a night like this...
2039
01:30:52,628 --> 01:30:53,670
(MOANING SOFTLY)
2040
01:30:54,254 --> 01:30:56,632
- There's something else.
- What?
2041
01:30:59,426 --> 01:31:00,677
Oh. Oh.
2042
01:31:00,761 --> 01:31:02,095
No, don't worry if...
2043
01:31:02,179 --> 01:31:05,557
Look, whatever's going down,
down there we'll make it work. Okay?
2044
01:31:05,849 --> 01:31:07,184
- Yeah?
- I promise.
2045
01:31:07,935 --> 01:31:09,353
- Okay.
- Okay.
2046
01:31:09,728 --> 01:31:10,729
(UNZIPS PANTS)
2047
01:31:15,275 --> 01:31:16,276
Wow.
2048
01:31:16,360 --> 01:31:18,403
(CHUCKLES) Is your dad a giant?
2049
01:31:18,487 --> 01:31:19,780
Like, will it fit?
2050
01:31:19,947 --> 01:31:21,240
Here's to hoping. (CHUCKLES)
2051
01:31:21,448 --> 01:31:22,449
(MOANING)
2052
01:31:22,532 --> 01:31:24,243
Oh, you're my president.
2053
01:31:24,910 --> 01:31:26,161
- You'll always be my president.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
2054
01:31:26,328 --> 01:31:28,455
Ahoo
2055
01:31:28,538 --> 01:31:30,582
Stars are falling
2056
01:31:30,666 --> 01:31:33,877
Are we falling too?
2057
01:31:34,336 --> 01:31:37,798
On a night like this
2058
01:31:38,340 --> 01:31:42,135
On a night like this
2059
01:31:42,636 --> 01:31:46,598
Ahoo
2060
01:31:52,062 --> 01:31:53,146
(SONG ENDS)
2061
01:31:54,523 --> 01:31:56,191
{\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
2062
01:32:05,367 --> 01:32:07,035
{\an8}(CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
2063
01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,300
(MAN YELLS)
2064
01:35:08,383 --> 01:35:09,593
- (WHIP CRACKING)
- (MUFFLED GRUNT)
2065
01:35:09,676 --> 01:35:11,303
Say you want this
on your permanent record.
2066
01:35:11,386 --> 01:35:13,013
(MUFFLED) I want this
on my permanent record.
2067
01:35:13,096 --> 01:35:14,264
- Yeah, you do.
- (GROANS)
2068
01:35:14,348 --> 01:35:15,432
What's going on? Oh.
2069
01:35:15,724 --> 01:35:18,518
Hey, Janitor Steve.
We'll just be a minute.
2070
01:35:18,602 --> 01:35:19,811
(MUFFLED) Hi, Janitor Steve.
2071
01:35:21,897 --> 01:35:23,315
I'm gonna need a bigger mop.
2072
01:35:25,400 --> 01:35:26,693
- (KEVIN GROANS)
- ELLEN: Don't touch me!
145128
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