Original subtitles

promised me a qualified sub to fill in

this week I need help now I was told to

give you a pop quiz how do I pop your

quiz he is different that boy the

classic over achiever I was a great

leader once it's good to have a friend

come on I'm going to move this powerful

world

until this control unit good

our time on planet Earth sponsored by

Kellogg's cracklin oat bread with its

sweet and crunchy taste it's so

irresistible an open box is an empty box

it is incomplete something wrong I would

like the rest of it right I am no longer

fooled by rip yours

oh wow I don't know where you're from

but around here doughnuts have holes for

what purpose for what purpose

tell you the truth nobody ever asked

well coffee's on the house

thank you you okay I'm fine thanks

really

a little raccoon all the drawing to my

desk shots look just Gleason

all I'm saying is I think I've learned

the chance to be the school's delegate

we will talk about it hi wait first

class starts in a few minutes and no one

is here yet look I don't want to hear

about your problems you promised me a

qualified sub to fill in this week I

need help now

excuse me I'm here to help nevermind

he's here mr. Boothby I have to get out

early for an appointment with my

orthodontist just hold on a sec I'll

take you there you go

I was about to panic and I usually don't

have to panic until third or fourth

period I'll tell you 12 years and

possessed in prepare me to be vice

principal science classes physics

biology you never taught science no I

have not taught at all great I try to

tell him I need experience subs what

have you been doing well I have been a

model I've been a wrestler I've worked

in a rodeo but I was trained as a

warrior trained warrior huh

might just work out here just give him a

pop quiz that's what I do say this

Warrior Training just part of the do get

tough policy don't tell it's crazy who

else in the school send to the junior

statesman convention except you I don't

know but I've been waiting for this all

year

you should be the delegate what's her

problem

anyhow you know ginger but this is the

first chance for me to go out in public

you don't know what this means I'll be

able to speak out on issues

hey listen I'm really dying in geometry

you think you can give me a little help

how about after practice okay all right

thanks great see that how do you ever

get your own homework done with all the

help you give everyone else hey babe hey

man so it takes me a minute to do my own

homework in five honor courses right

okay some of mice it takes me two

minutes

why does that song only have one note I

have heard other songs on the radio and

they have many notes why does that only

have one what the Bell saying it's music

think for yourself Jojo I don't know

it's a noise it's not music music has a

good feet you can dance to it actually

the definition of noise is irregular

vibrations at irregular intervals

whereas the definition of music is

regular vibrations at regular intervals

therefore the Bell could be considered

music teachers correct I often have a

difficult time distinguishing between

noise and music in your society quiz how

do I pop your quiz originally usually

dissensus questions about the homework

reading then the pop quiz is a test for

knowledge what do you read well we just

started the section on human anatomy my

first question why can the human species

only see from the front of them

this wasn't covered in the assignment

the greatest threat of attack comes from

the rear now in the fight for survival

the human species surface from great

disadvantage

nobody knows

all right my second question is at the

end of each limb there are five

appendages why aren't there three or six

what is the purpose of it I can find

many uses for these but very few for the

lower ones is this quiz gonna count

double-date dad's car not too far

have a ball study hall study hard study

date homeroom Oh homecoming

rah-rah-sis-boom-bah ah

this explains why the youths of this

society disappear every day from 9:00

until 3:00 they are held in these

warehouses and subjected to intense

programming

I am most impressed you call and they

come at once you have trained them well

man but teacher is some weird you know

but good you really makes you think

hi how's it going I just came from a

room where none of the young people knew

the answers to any questions and that's

an honors class and then the song came

on again and they all walked out well

you shouldn't let them play their radios

in class they will pull any stunt on a

substitute don't let it get to you I'm

Tanika Lisa I'm a teacher here

Jessie if I can help you in any way let

me know miss Carson yeah

he is different that boys film is that

kid has the world of his doorstep

the world is that everyone's doorstep I

know what you mean Jessie but not many

kids know how to take advantage of it

bill does I think it's the lesson he

learned from a miserable childhood the

hard lessons of youth are not easily

forgotten he was an orphan he went

through foster homes and institutions

nobody could handle him but somehow he

managed to pull himself up and turn

himself around a difficult maneuver he

deserves a lot of credit but he's a

classic overachiever I look at him and I

see a kid headed for burnout he does not

appear to be Bernie but he is inside

he's driving himself so hard I'm afraid

someday it's going to destroy him

so anything else today no I think that's

it really

huh mrs. Duchin oh hello bill hmm great

strawberries today you know mr. teuchi

loves strawberries on his bran flakes

you're right you better give me some oh

he's such a good boy mr. Roberts you've

been a fine guardian for my daughter

Connie tells me he got a scholarship

Sony Farmer gonna be a big-time lawyer

Harvard lawyer mr. Ross don't forget

you're welcome

bye-bye never get tired of the law you'd

make a fine grocer mr. strawberries on

the bran flakes in ten years I could

help you turn this grocery store into a

supermarket a chain of supermarkets to

run a supermarket I'd have to be

Superman thank you very much I'm happy

yo the late for practice all right I'll

see you later pop

come on practice hey mister you there

had to break okay I don't mean breaking

Jesse that armors gonna take us for the

state championship again this year only

the arm how is this done with fast balls

nobody can hit the kid they tried to hit

him and he does not permit it I would do

the same

nobody's the same as that boy not even

an Orel Hershiser and Orel Hershiser

what kind of creature is that

are you tired of playing tired oh no I

just struck out as usual oh you must be

very good the ball did not hit you well

the idea is to hit the ball once in a

while you know I don't think anybody

here understands that idea I'd like to

see you try it

very well

a wise idea these bodies have very

fragile heads I will try

mr. Jesse he's supposed to get out of

the wave it's too far inside

I had another metres to spare try again

yeah

what

it's just a big guy mr. Jesse really

connected on you today

the word sometimes is all worried about

what

you just don't have much time for me

anymore I see you every day in school

and ginger you have so much to do and

the tutoring committee that the school

paper the student council the baseball

practices science club

hey looks like somebody can finally get

your fastball which now

sometimes I'm sure if I can't keep up

with you

it's not like I need anybody else

mixture you'll meet all those Ivy League

girls and want to remember don't you see

it's all part of a plan

I'm gonna go to Harvard University I'm

gonna play Major League Baseball and I'm

marrying my high-school sweetheart

things don't always work out

mine will

the young people do this dancing very

well

do they teach you at school I don't

think it's on the Board of Education

subject yes how do they learn to do it I

guess they learn from each other that is

the form of Education I am most familiar

with

no these are music and some cultures

silence is treasured above all sounds

don't you dance mr. Jesse mrs. Leeson

dances don't you miss Gleason thanks

anyway

I danced once but this body is so poorly

constructed I couldn't meet the physical

requirements that was a really rad class

today

yeah brings up a lot of interesting

questions I was just thinking of a few

myself yeah like how come boys are

different from girls in some life forms

we have both male and female

characteristics isn't it right though

yeah

earthworms actually mr. Jesse what I

wanted to ask you was why do humans have

to of so many setters you know two arms

two legs two livers two kidneys two eyes

two livers the human anatomy only has

one minute

my mistake

all right everybody let's give up off

club a big send-off to the playoffs with

a few chairs

yes Oh bill hi come in wanted to see me

yes what's going on here it's like

something to do with fluorocarbons

yes I thought it would be interesting if

the class could see the effect they have

on the ozone layer but I'm still trying

to figure out the best way to illustrate

that bill I want to talk to you okay I

have given this a lot of serious thought

and I'm not going to recommend you to

the junior statesman convention what why

I haven't done anything wrong no you

never do anything wrong and it's so

special that all of us have the tendency

to pat you on the back and say how

terrific you are then why because we owe

you more than that I see you putting

yourself under constant pressure to

perform how you ever stopped to ask

yourself why yes because I can make this

world a better place

you are only 17 that much stress isn't

healthy for anybody at any age you look

worn out and your grades as high as they

are have dipped this quarter I will take

care of my grades I can promise you that

okay look in his Gleason ethic I don't

think you understand how important this

is to me

really please up I know how disappointed

you are I just feel like you have enough

to handle right now the human capacity

ignorance never fails to amaze me

seventy-five 8192 66 ah these numbers

are called grades yes

I've encountered one student with much

higher numbers than all the rest

what does this mean it means he will

acquire a good job a wife a sports car

and the title yuppie or you might become

a nerd help reopen

hurry one two one two let's go

with a paint another one

slide down the pole

I can't let go put one hand on the bowl

I'll hold it steady

that's it Joe jump one hand now the

other slowly slide down the pole slowly

that's it slowly Jojo slowly

what are you doing here I am assigned to

earth as a conventional monitor you mean

their City their prison is here now hmm

you are too young to remember but I was

a great leader once an elder on the

council yes I had a reputation of

bringing order to chaos do you know it

was under my guidance that the

intergalactic mass transports finally

ran on schedule so why were you sent to

you because I tried to bring order to

the most chaotic thing of all the

governing body the ecto nyan cool

they still remember well they said all

the leaders of the coup were executed

well because of my many years of great

service I was spared but my name was

purged from the histories and I was

given the very special indignity of

being placed on this planet in the body

of an infant there is to be no contact

with anyone from home during your

sentence we are more a part of this

planet than our own now the directive

does not apply controls there has been

no prior knowledge here we should not

suffer any consequences it is

inconceivable that your programmer would

not inform you of our presence here are

you suggesting that I am in some way

responsible spotless record for 80 years

and now this cheap numerals blenders I

will not hover here and allow an

outdated unit with a low definition

don't talk to me that way your video

banks are filled with television

programming if you would pay less

attention to TV more attention to your

prisoner you to go play somewhere else

we're going inside to have dinner at my

place yes it's good to have a friend

from home here bonding camaraderie

I have visited some cultures where the

food is eaten by one entity and digested

by another a fascinating background for

a teacher yes you'd be surprised at some

of the backgrounds of my school what

about this miss Gleason miss Gleason why

do you ask she called today she wants to

see me for a conference bill is

something happening that I should know

about it's nothing really I already took

care of it

he is your parent here the government

requires me to have a guardian till I'm

18 it's not a bad sore for you min

anyway at first

I rebelled trapped in the child's body I

was humiliated and angry but now I'm

making the best of a bad situation

I've studied the society very carefully

and I've decided to become president of

this country to start there clearly

defined paths to power I will need a law

degree and to be a sports hero and if

necessary I will become an actor

all of these lead to political office we

have been instructed not to bring

attention to ourselves you may increase

your sentence do you believe that well

you are new here

what are you saying the elders lied we

are never getting off this planet no

matter how hard we try don't you see

this is their last bit of punishment

towards us

you are certain i spent a lifetime on

the council

I know them I am making the

circumstances work for me now I'm going

to rule this pitiful world despite the

ignorance of a few people who cannot see

I will leave this planet into the future

I don't understand it was a simple

demonstration that I was preparing for

class

have you done this demonstration before

no but the chemicals weren't dangerous

it is time to sever your relationship

with the other prisoner and depart I'm

not ready to leave you I have determined

that my program is incompatible with

this other control unit how can there be

such a difference between two

generations of the same model there is a

gap failure to communicate

it is a most urgent concern as the

deadline for my next report approaches I

felt a prisoner says no one listens to

your reports control we are doomed to

remain here forever there is no basis

have you ever had any response any

indication that they care what is

happening to me this proves nothing

his bitterness is contagious pay no

attention to him a human friend has been

hurt

I must remain here and determine what

has happened quite simply the fire was

caused by a catalytic reaction resulting

from the introduction of highly

compressed silicon into a hydrocarbon

chlorination process basic knowledge

knowledge most basic on our planet

beyond human science it was a minor

diversion she could have died look I

made certain that the flash was

contained I just want her out of the way

she cares about you she's concerned

about your future

the junior statesman convention is

covered by every major news journalist

in the state that is the future our

future

form an alliance with me an alliance

we've already fought in spirit against

the leaders of our own planet I oppose

only the leaders I believe in the system

there is no system left for us don't you

see that we must make our own system and

we're to survive this wasteland you are

a great warrior I am a great statesman

alone I am powerful we could come for

the world and half the time avid we

learned as children that the lust for

power has been the greatest evil

you are either with me or you are

against me

you could never settle for a true ally

in time you would even betray me then

accept your fate meekly and wait for the

call home that will never come

I'd warn you

now

to interfere

see you again have you not moved your

prisoner away from here yet we must

discuss this matter before we report

home you are begging me to salvage your

assignment do not Spanish on the

contrary I am here to salvage yours mine

I am guided my prisoner in travail but

like the vehement

you have been blind to what he really

hopes to achieve this world has suffered

often at the hands of men who hunger for

power it must not be allowed to happen

here again my prisoner is living up to

every goal by directive your prisoner

has used his superior physical and

intellectual skills for personal gain

you are envious in my success he has

already resorted to violence to further

his own ambition

you could really do it couldn't you what

turn this place into a big deal huh why

are you changing your mind pops how is

it possible someone so young can be so

ambitious it's the American Dream and

no no it's more than that with you

you want to be on top of the mountain

did you hear me say that yes

yes in your argument with your teacher

bill you're you're just a boy but you

sound so so old so experienced well

there is no minimum age requirement for

winning success I was there what else

did you hear

well I'm convinced you're not exactly

what you seem to be why do you say that

I know there are two bills inside that

body the one that I know and there's the

other bill the one who's who's so alone

so private a secret that's so dark you

can't even share it with me why do you

say that

I just knew bill you're too good to be

true

still you're not as happy as you'd like

everybody to think you are is it how

about you're worried about I know too

many people my life seems insignificant

grocer merchant what does he achieved

well I'll tell you what I have friends I

have neighbors and loyal customers who

know I am fair and reasonable bill take

some advice from an old man to be happy

you don't need to be a big deal

he must insist in your next report that

the council intervened I am only the

messenger we only observe and report but

if they don't even study the reports

there was no hope at all controller is

very interesting

after meeting another of my own species

I feel more isolated than ever

Jessie they want you in the office

downstairs

we'd like to ask you a few questions

about the accident in Miss Gleason's

classroom is he the one you saw sneaking

into her room after class

yes I was

he's the one

fear not my friend the people of this

planet will love me but they will learn

to I will tell them the truth no one

will believe you you're a simple Street

person I am the all-american I am the

one most likely to succeed I will tell

them the whole truth it is forbidden

you cannot you will be immediately

terminated I will save the council the

trouble by killing you myself

kill me if you must you can rule this

world

oh it bring you any closer to home

somewhere deep in your soul there

resides a noble statesman a leader well

respected is it worth the risk

if there is any hope in returning

you must trust the system

I'd forgotten about home

or the noble statesman inside of me this

is only a trial

we were sent here to learn learn

from a simple human grosser

only knows he's fair and they soon

from now on would I give to this world

that will give quietly without

recognition

with that reward

he's time to be turned to our own world

home you see the system works they do

care

it is anointed that you helped my

prisoner passes by no test your efforts

are appreciated yours too

it will serve you well in your quest to

return home

wait I have to say farewell to my

friends and my guardian there is no time

how does it feel

I will work at home for you releasing my

friend

I'm a teacher

and he didn't say where it is a personal

journey he has to take I'm not surprised

such a strange boy he came almost out of

the blue it seemed somehow I I always

knew he would leave the same way no he

takes away with him your wisdom we may

never hear of his greatness but I'm sure

we'll come maybe maybe he'll be back

this way again sometime I too hope I

shall see him soon

Nicole will come for us someday

it does help knowing there is hope

hard time on planet Earth sponsored by

Kellogg's Raisin Bran with two scoops of

plump juicy raisins in golden flakes of

drab I saved your life you owe me a

favor I would like to be your Howdy

Doody action Wally time to bring up that

old bucket of wishes that you all wrote

in I wish that you help me find my

father

because somebody's trying to kill it

there are some things I know that other

people want to stop me from talking

about

I wish come true not my life's in the

hands of Captain King

her son cloaks himself in revenge as his

father's business starts unraveling at

the seams Jerry Lewis guest stars on

wiseguy later tonight but first McCade

must protect a newlywed from a husband

who's digging for gold and maybe her

grave on Jake and The Fatman necklace