All language subtitles for Reginald.the.Vampire.S01E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Previously on "Reginald the Vampire"...

I think I have
a superpower!

- How did you get in here?
- I glamoured him!

No more glamouring
other vampires,

and not a word about this
to anyone.

Reginald can glamour
other vampires.

That's impossible,
and you know it.

Reginald, he's behind this.

What happens
if I fail the Assessment?

- You die.
- Need to contact Nikki.

Nikki brings death
and destruction

wherever she travels.

Maybe you could help me train.

I have a problem

that requires
your special touch.

Hold the doors.

Thanks.

No worries.

Floor?

Yours.

You're cute.

I'm happy to be
whatever you want me to be.

Anything?

Surprise me.

Surprise!

Thanks for the room, lover.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

I don't understand
the point of this exercise.

Visualize, believe, achieve.

Or, conversely,
I could buy a big hammer.

When do I get to hit it?
- Focus.

Your body's an instrument.

To use it properly,
you need to be aware

of what's happening to
and within it

at all times.

Let's try the Power Breath
Protocol again.

But all that did
was make me feel dizzy.

Reggie, come on.
30 quick breaths.

In through your nose,
out through your mouth.

Then take a deep breath
and exhale.

Hold it until you need
to breathe in again.

Why are you helping me?
- I want you to live.

That's good to know.

What do you want?

- Sarah.
- Okay.

Keep her in mind
every time we train.

Everything you do,
you do for her.

For example,
Power Breath Protocol.

Okay.

Have you heard from Maurice?
- No. You?

No.

How did you two meet?

- I met Maurice in Ibiza.
- Cool, that's fashionable.

It's a feeding ground.

The best kind.
- Oh?

We hunted together,
fed together.

When I heard he put up
here in Akron, I dropped in.

Because you've always
wanted to see

the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?
- That's in Cleveland.

And the Wu-Tang Clan
deserve to be in it.

Vampires nest.
It's what we do.

Not too many of our kind
live alone.

Maybe it's because
time passes so slowly

and there's so much of it.

What if you have
a girlfriend?

Vampires don't have girlfriends.

Well, maybe I'll be
the first one to do that.

Maybe you will.

Did you think
about what I asked you

about leaving town
before the Assessment?

I've been staring at
a cinder block all afternoon,

and now you want me
to run and hide?

I want you to be safe.

That's all.

Now, come on.

Okay.

There you go.

Whoa, easy now.

Hang on.
There you go. Come on.

How are you feeling?

Never better.
Top of the world.

You're looking a little pale.

Oh, I feel tremendous.

Well, in any case,
drink this

and eat as many
of these as you can, okay?

Vitamin C increases
your blood antioxidant levels

by up to 30%.

Oh. Sounds great.

And maybe take
some of these iron pills too.

I'm so sorry about this.

This is the only way
I know how to survive.

Oh, it's no worries, Reginald.

I'm your huckleberry.

Ugh.

Whoo!

Oh, that hit the spot.

- Always glad to be of service.
- Hmm.

So is there anything else
I can do for you today?

Oh, Todd, you've done
more than enough already.

Hey, I bet you can't guess
what I did.

If you want me to, I will.

I'll try a thousand guesses
if that's what it takes.

That's okay.
Sarah and I went on a date.

- No way.
- We did!

Ah, that is excellent news.

- Right?
- How did it go?

Any time I spend with Sarah
is just amazing.

- Like a dream come true.
- It is.

This is nice.

I feel like I don't really
get to talk

to anyone about Sarah
besides Sarah.

I mean, there's Maurice,
but he's still pretty dubious

about the whole--
- Did you kiss her?

- What?
- Man, if I was you--

not that I ever could be,
that's just crazy talk.

But if I was,

I'd kiss her.

She's very kissable.

She is.

So? Did you kiss her?

No.

But there has to be
an explanation for that.

It's probably just because
I didn't find the right moment.

Right?

Shouldn't every moment
be the right moment for a kiss?

Huh.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.
Every moment should.

Whoa, we're late.

Listen to me.

You were never here,
and you never saw me today

and gave me admittedly
great advice about kissing.

Go now,
and take these doughnuts,

because
it's the least I can do.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

I'll take
a Chocoholic Blast--

With a pinch
of Tropical Coconut.

Can you make it a dash
this time?

I think I'm building up
a tolerance.

A dash?

It's, like, 1 1/2 pinches.

Right,
standard American units.

I could stick around
if you want, play some games.

Gee, I wish you could,
but the Shack is slammed.

And I'm tired.

I didn't know
you people got tired.

Anyone ever tell you
that's a very rude phrase

to say to someone?

If you don't wanna hang,
just say so.

I'm not a kid. I can handle it.
- Tomorrow. Promise.

I miss you too, okay?

- Hey.
- Hey.

What are you doing?

I mean,
I know what you're doing.

Snack prep's
a calling and a duty.

Hmm, back home,
we grew our own snacks.

You can grow corn nuts?

Not exactly.

So no corn nuts?

No corn chips?

No puffed or popped corn
of any kind?

Paying for it was unnecessary

when you can make
your own treats.

- Counterpoint.
- Mm-hmm.

Corn is tasty
in all of its outward shapes,

and it keeps us employed.
- Mm.

Oh!
- I am so sorry.

What were you--

It was just a planned--
unplanned impulse.

To headbutt me?

Corn nut frenzy?
That's possible.

In all its outward shapes.

I'm--

You have blood on your nose.

Oh.

Oh, it's nothing, seriously.
I'm--

Okay?

♪ Call and respond for the
show, they can holla back ♪

♪ Pour a little drink
in my cup ♪

♪ Go blank as I loosen up ♪

♪ Close my eyes,
let the beat ride ♪

♪ Late night,
I'm catchin' the vibe ♪

Hey, Reggie.

Hi, Maurice.

Gonna invite me in?

I'm pretty sure
that's something

they just made up on TV.

You still got good manners, right?

Yeah.

So...

where were you?

I mean, were you gone?

Not that I noticed
or marked the time,

but I'm still pretty curious
about your whereabouts.

Nowhere special.

Oh, okay.

That makes sense.

But I gotta say,

when I thought
you were gone for good...

That was--that was
a big problem for me.

You're right.

I should have done better
by you.

I will do better.

I just--

I don't know, I needed
some time to clear my head.

I'm sorry too.

Which assumes
you're sorry?

Yeah.

Yeah,
I shouldn't have gone there.

Look, we can have a problem.
We just gotta talk it out.

Yeah.

Glamouring Penelope and LeBron

may not have been
the best idea.

No. No, it wasn't.

So you wanna catch me up?

What have you been up to
while I was away?

Well, okay.

I might become
the first vampire ever

to have a girlfriend.

That's a life goal.

And hopefully
it'll involve

a first kiss if I don't
headbutt Sarah again.

Wait, you headbutted Sarah?

- Not on purpose, but...
- I hope.

And Mike has been training me

with the whole
mind-body connection thing

so I can break cinder blocks
with my bare hands.

- Mike's training you.
- In your absence.

And is Sarah still
the most important thing

in your undead life?

By a factor of infinity.

And you know I'm still
not on board with that, right,

you and Sarah?
- Oh, trust me, I remember.

No more glamouring vampires?

No, no, completely retired
from that scene.

Well, would you mind
if I help Mike out

with the training?

Yeah, that would be great,
thank you.

Oh.

I really missed you
when you were away.

I missed you too.

♪ Wasn't me that
keep 'em beatin' ♪

♪ When I need it most ♪

♪ Talkin' to you,
and you believed it ♪

Wow.

Hey, what would you say

if I asked you out
on another date?

I would say, "Wow," and,
"It's about time you asked."

That's exactly
what I was hoping you'd say.

But maybe I pick
the place this time?

- You don't like my place?
- Oh, no, no.

It was great.

Up until the
projectile vomiting incident.

It did not pair well
with the wine.

Mm.

All right, you pick.

If I'm being honest, I don't
really care where we go.

I just want to go with you.

Aw.

♪ You believed it,
you should've known it ♪

Is that what I think it is?

Don't touch anything.

So it is.

What in the world are you doing
with herb-of-the-cross?

Prepare for the worst,

hope for the best.

Wise words to live by,
it's true.

But this herb will rob
a vampire of all her power.

Yeah.

Yes, it will.

Levi?
- Is that it?

Come on, Sare-bear,
bring it in.

Come here. Hey!

What are--
what are you doing here?

What do you think?

I came here
to see my baby sister.

Oh, well, great.

I missed you.

What's on your mind?

Come on, you know I can tell.

Levi, I'm not going back.

Who said anything
about going back?

- But--
- Look.

You were always
smarter than me.

So--so, no, just--

It took me awhile, yeah,

but I understand
why you left the church.

You do?

Yeah.

Exact same reason I left.

You're out?

We've got
a lot of catching up to do.

Come here.

I--I promise
I'm gonna be better.

I'm gonna be the brother
that you deserve,

and we are gonna be
a family again.

I can't tell you
how much that means to me.

Me too, Sare-bear.

You got a place?

Oh, yeah, I got a room
in some flop.

It's not too bad.
I got free local calls, cable.

The pool's empty, but--

Okay, you're not staying
at a motel.

You're gonna stay with me.

That's good.

Hey, Reginald.

You'll never guess who this is.

I'd like this handled
as quickly as possible.

Here's your target:
Reginald Andres.

He's a vampire?

Wonders never cease.

Here. Prices have gone up
since last time.

- Wow.
- Inflation gets us all.

I've prepared the contract
in advance.

Just fill in your package
selection and sign it.

I'll fax it to the Council.

Idiot.

This job isn't sanctioned.

Fun. It's a secret?

I adore secrets.

You'll be needing
this one, then.

Well,
that is quite the markup.

Unsanctioned kills are risky.

But with higher prices
come the benefits.

See, the gore level goes up
to seven bloody stakes.

Council only allows three.

Imagine living life
with so little imagination.

I don't want him to suffer.

I just want him dead.

How's about
a little UV light torture

or evisceration for half price?

So you're upselling me now.

Well, I did
come all this way

to Akron.

So no add-ons?
- No.

I'll start as soon
as you transfer the deposit.

No digital currencies, please.

Oh, thanks for letting me use
your facilities.

Bodies are such trouble.

Do consider my special
on families.

Good through
the end of the month.

That woman is insane.

That woman
is a stone-cold killer

for over 300 years.

And a killer
is just what I need.

Welcome to Slushy Shack.
How may I help you?

Sour Apple Scream. Thanks.

You know what? Never mind.

Is Reginald around?

Yeah, Reginald's
in the break room.

He's our employee of the month.

Again.

- Nice.
- Oh, excuse me, sir.

You're actually--you're not
supposed to go back there.

Hi, welcome to Slushy Shack.

How may I help you?

Reggie, I need a word.

What?

- Quick question.
- Okay.

Let's talk about the holes
in Todd's neck.

That's more
of a statement than it is a--

- Feeding on Todd stops now.
- But--

Todd is a human, okay,
not cattle.

You can't just treat him
like that.

- But what am I supposed to do?
- You hunt.

I suck at night
stalking, okay?

Like, I tried it.

The whole sucking bit,
it's just not in my arsenal.

When was the last time
you got out there?

It's been a while.

I've been on a hiatus.
- That's not how it works, man.

I found a steady food source.

It's convenient, close at hand.

I don't understand why I can't
just keep doing it--

Todd's a crutch.
Cut him loose.

Fine, okay.

I'll cut him loose.

But what about, like, tomorrow

or the next day
or the day after that?

You don't need
to feed every day, okay?

But when you get hungry,
you do like we do.

You hunt.
- Okay, hunt it is.

Uriel, protector most high

against the descendants
of Cain,

I pray thee grant me
the strength and wisdom

to deliver my sister unto thee.

She has strayed,

turned her back on the fold,

and sullied herself
among the unenlightened.

Help me bring her home,

where she can be cleansed
and sanctified

in the warmth
of your purifying blood,

that your light
may shine upon her forever.

Your faithful servant, Levi.

Yes, new high score.

All right, all right,
step aside, rookie.

Wait a sec.
Are you humoring me?

What?

Every time
I make a new high score,

you beat it by 50 points exactly.

The perks of walking
with the undead.

We're excellent gamers.

Well, there's only
one thing to do.

Fair is fair.
You need to turn me.

Hilarious.

Claire.

Let me talk
before you say no.

No.

But I prepared a speech.

- You are 12.
- You don't get it.

This isn't about me
wanting to be

a competitive arcade gamer.

I need this.
- No one needs this.

I'm gonna do you a favor
and forget that you asked.

Please?

I feel safer
when I'm around you.

Maybe--maybe if I was like you,
I'd always feel safe.

Claire.

Forget your age.

A nonstarter in and of itself.

Do you remember the Assessment
I told you about?

- Yeah.
- If I fail, I die.

And anyone I turn dies with me.

The Council is very serious
about their siring protocols.

Okay, and that's really sad,
but if you win--

I'm not having
this conversation.

Fine.

Wait.
Let me ride home with you.

Don't bother, Reginald.
I can take care of myself.

C-Claire?

Subject Todd Sleator,
aka Just Todd,

enters park at 3:04 p.m.

Follow Todd
right to the vampire

that haunts Rubber City.

Subject Just Todd takes path
toward the northeast exit.

21 p.m.

Ooh!

Appreciate the save.

You have amazing reflexes.

I love your outfit.

It was Fanny's.

She was a very naughty girl,
so I hads to punish her.

Is Just Todd
being a naughty boy?

You heard me?

Don't be ashamed.
I have excellent hearing.

And sounds always travel
farther in the woods.

Don't you agree?

Actually,
trees absorb sound energy,

so the greater
the density of the forest,

the greater amount
of energy absorbed.

By the trees.

Is Just Todd cheating on you?

Does he need punishing?
- Oh.

No, it's nothing like that.
We're not dating.

He's not my type.

Then why are you
stalking him?

I'm not entirely comfortable
with that word.

Consider me a concerned friend.

He's fallen in
with a bad crowd,

and I'm just trying to help.

I wonder what it would be
like to have a friend like you.

I'm sure if your friends
thought you were in trouble,

they would do the same.

I am the trouble.

I--I don't believe that.

It's true.

Tell you what.

If you ever find yourself
in trouble, you can come to me.

I'll be your friend.

But what if I don't want
any friends?

We can talk about that later.
I gotta go.

See you around?

I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist.

That's where you're wrong, man.

Only you can control this
if you want to.

Excuse me.
What's going on here?

Listen to me.

Drink.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?

You can't turn him.
- I'm not turning him. Watch.

The blood we take can heal them
if we give it back, okay?

And Todd won't turn
unless he dies

with my blood in his system.

You've been feeling
a bit under the weather lately.

But you're all better now, okay?

And tomorrow
you'll be your old self

with no memory
of Reginald feeding on you.

Ever. Go now.

Forget.

That well is dry, Reggie, okay?

No more drinking from it.

Okay.

It's like you didn't listen
to a word I said

about people and cattle.

Look, I get it.

The taste of blood, it's--

it's pure bliss.

I'm not judging you.
I'm concerned, okay?

The impulses and tendencies
you had as a human

are only gonna be intensified
by your new nature, okay?

You keep going
at the rate you're going,

and you're gonna kill somebody.

You're feeding
because you want to,

not because you need to.

It's a craving born
in your mind,

and that's where
you need to control it.

Just rewrite whatever's
telling you blood is the answer

with a more--I don't know--
positive solution.

So you're suggesting

cognitive behavioral therapy
for vampires?

Dude, just listen
to your body, okay?

Only feed
when it tells you to.

All right.

It's gonna be a struggle, man.

I know that.

But when you need me,

I'll be here.

Thank you, Maurice.

I got you, man.

I love killing zombies.

Don't know why. I just do.

Zombies aren't real.
They're just a story.

I was like that once.

Bullshit, you were.

Okay, look.

There's a house of horrors
in New Orleans.

Part museum, part sideshow,

but mostly just a dank basement

filled with questionable taxidermy

and doctored photos:

bigfoot's footprint.

But the main attraction

was the real deal:

a vampire,

chained and starved,

rotting from the inside out.

That was what they came for.

That was something...

Special.

Every day...

I hoped to die.

But death wouldn't come.

People laughed

and said I was a fake...

That my pain and decay

were just acting and makeup.

But there was one thing
they couldn't figure out.

It was the only part of
my torture that impressed them.

How did they come up
with that smell?

One day, a vampire stumbled
onto that house of horrors.

A warrior.

And she fed me
the heart of the man

who starved and chained me.

She took my pain away...

And gave me back
my eternal life.

Angela.

When?

About ten years
after you two split up.

I made a promise that day,

a vow I would always keep.

I'm her spy.

I spied on you.

I told her
what Reginald can do,

glamouring vampires.

I had to tell you the truth,
all of it, before she did.

She's gonna kill him, Maurice,

before the Assessment.

I couldn't let that happen.

I couldn't let Reginald die.

I couldn't let you die either.

Thank you for telling me.

Now get the----
out of my house,

and don't come back.

♪ Go back in time ♪

♪ To save you ♪

- Here you are.
- I'm gonna go.

Gonna head out.

What's your rush,
Regi-round?

Oh, a date night.
You know, karaoke.

So that spells disaster.

Expanding my horizons, though,
so there's that.

Gonna have to trade insults
later, all right?

Rain check.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?

Your neck.

What about my neck?

You had a hole situation
going on there.

Two of them.
You don't remember?

- Remember what?
- The bloody holes in your--

Oh, mercy,
of course you forgot.

Just like Sarah.

But who...

Welcome to Slushy Shack.
How may I help you?

Sour Apple Scream.

And is Reginald still here?

Coming right up.

No, he's not.
It's karaoke night.

Yeah, I heard.

Sour Apple Scream.

Have we met before?

Yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm practically a regular here.

I don't know why,
but this feels like

the very first time.

Sour Apple?

As if my life depended on it.

Hey, Mr. Butterworth.

I'm in sort of a hurry, so...

What?

Oh, sorry,
that's my brother's van.

Yeah, sure,
I'll move it right away.

No problem.

Okay.

What the hell, Levi?

I hope you like Thai,

'cause I--

What the hell?
You went in my van?

Right, Levi,
because that's the problem.

You lied to me.

You said you were out,
that we'd be a family again.

We are a family.

Oh, no.

This is something else.

A mattress with handcuffs
in the back?

The--the handcuffs
were a last resort.

I was never--
- Resorting to what?

Okay, truth time.
Are you happy here?

Really, in Akron?

Yes, I am.

This feels
like a place to start.

And I'm just starting.
- Starting to what?

I met someone.

And it feels like it could be
something really special.

You don't belong here.

You had a year
to come to your senses.

Well, time's up.
I'm taking you home.

I am home.

This is not something
that you get to decide for me.

Not anymore.

I am not leaving.

You're turning your back
on your faith.

It was never my faith.

I didn't choose it.
- It chose you.

You belong
with the Enlightened.

Oh,---- the Enlightened!

Hey, Reginald.

Come on in.

Am I early?

No, no,
you are right on time.

My brother was just leaving.

Now.

You want more time. Fine.

But in the end,
you'll come home to us,

where you belong.

I'll be seeing you, Sare-bear.

Listen to me.

You're gonna get in your van
and drive home.

Tell them that you tried
but failed to find Sarah

because you didn't.

Understand?
You were never here.

Okay,
what kind of sorcery was that,

and can you teach it to me?

It was just...

the power of positive thinking.

It's a book that my nana
used to read to me.

It's powerful stuff.

Or he just probably didn't want
to fight in front of me.

That's probably more likely.

But how are--how are you?

That was really brave of you,
standing up to him like that.

Well, I don't know
what good it'll do.

He'll be back.

I don't know.

He might surprise you.

But forget
about your brother for now.

Who?

Tonight is about
one thing only:

me and you.

Are you ready for that?

Oh, I'm ready.

Whoa.

Mm, oh.
- Oh, yeah.

Get the door.

Ooh!

Cool.
- Oh, he showed up!

Who?

Maurice.

Oh, are you two--

- That's, like, my best friend.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Nice.

May you escort me
to our table?

I may.

I didn't think you'd show up.

Hey. Oh, man.

Worst part about karaoke
in my experience

is listening to people
talk about what you missed

the next day.

No, I intend
to witness this firsthand.

Oh, sorry.

Sarah, this is Maurice.

I know Maurice
from the Shack.

Well, not officially.
- Well, now you do.

Have you picked a song yet?

Because we gotta
get them in early.

No, sorry, actually,
I don't sing in public, so...

Oh. Hmm.

No, no, no, no.

This one.
- That's my jam

I know. You hum it
all the time on mop duty.

You noticed that?

I notice everything
about you.

You love pizza,
slasher movies--

especially the meta kind--

the sound that Velcro makes
when you pull it apart,

and your favorite slushy
is Pineapple Surprise.

Okay, okay.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

So you--you didn't expect
to see me here.

Reginald
forgot to mention it.

- You don't mind?
- No. You're his friend.

I appreciate that.

Not everyone would be
so understanding.

Well,
they don't know Reginald.

He's the best guy I ever met.

You really like him, huh?

Yeah, I really do.

Good.

He deserves that.

♪ For you ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

Stiff competition tonight.

What's up?

Hey, why don't we take
the party somewhere else?

I've heard of a good bar
a couple blocks over.

Let's check it out.

We didn't get
to sing our song yet.

I never understood that,

leaving one bar
and go to another.

Reggie,
I got a really strong feeling

that we are not
supposed to be here.

Next up,
we have Reginald and Sarah.

both: That's us!

- Yeah.
- We're up.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.

- Here, let me get that.
- That's okay. Oh!

Oh, thank you.

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I get a little bit lonely ♪

♪ And you're never
coming round ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I get a little bit tired ♪

♪ Of listening to the sound
of my tears ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I get a little bit nervous ♪

♪ That the best
of all the years have gone by ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I get a little bit terrified ♪

♪ And then I see the look
in your eyes ♪

♪ Turn around, bright eyes ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I fall apart ♪

♪ I get a little bit
terrified ♪

♪ But then I see the look
in your eyes ♪

♪ Turn around, bright eyes ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I fall apart ♪

♪ Turn around, bright eyes ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I fall apart ♪

both:
♪ And I need you now tonight ♪

♪ And I need you
more than ever ♪

♪ And if you only
hold me tight ♪

♪ We'll be holding on
forever ♪

♪ And we'll only be
making it right ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll never be wrong ♪

♪ Together we can take it
to the end of the line ♪

♪ Your love is like a shadow
on me all of the time ♪

♪ All of the time ♪

both:
♪ I don't know what to do ♪

♪ I'm always in the dark ♪

♪ Living in a powder keg
and giving off sparks ♪

♪ I really need you tonight ♪

♪ Forever's gonna start
tonight ♪

♪ Forever's gonna start
tonight ♪

♪ Time ♪
both: ♪ I was falling in love ♪

♪ But now I'm only
falling apart ♪

♪ There's nothing I can do ♪

♪ A total eclipse
of the heart ♪

♪ Once upon a time,
there was light in my life ♪

♪ Now there's only life
in the dark ♪

both: ♪ Nothing I can say ♪

♪ A total eclipse
of the heart ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I fall apart ♪

♪ Turn around, bright eyes ♪

♪ Every now and then,
I fall apart ♪

both:
♪ I don't know what to do ♪

all:
♪ I'm always in the dark ♪

all: ♪ Living in a powder keg ♪

♪ And giving off sparks ♪

all: ♪ Once upon a time,
I was falling in love ♪

♪ Now I'm only falling apart ♪

♪ Nothing I can say ♪

♪ A total eclipse
of the heart ♪