All language subtitles for Afl 25

Hey, Will. Nathan's gonna
be living here for a while.

You know, we've narrowed
down the identity

of Jack's father.

It's either one of the eleven
Black brothers

of New Canaan, Connecticut

or Paul Lynde, the center square.

I hope you guys like
my phony bologna free-range omelets.

Ah, yes. It's only bean curd,
but it's got the look of pig.

I thought you gay guys
liked the bologna.

I don't know, you maybe stay
with Nathan forever.

I can feel it in some of
my original bones.

It's just a matter of time before you're
driving a mini-van full of screaming kids

to K-Mart to pick out curtains

for your mud hut in Tarrytown.

Nice to meet you.
Where's my papa?

I am so sorry. I really don't quite
know how to say this, but...

your father died five years ago.

Oh, my God. I've turned another one.

Incoming!

How have I lived without
phony bologna omelets?

Wait till you try my southern
fried I-can't-believe-it's-not-chicken.

- Can we have dinner at 6:00?
- How about dinner at 8:00?

I get too hungry for dinner at 8:00.

That's why the lady is tramp!

Oh, my god. You did sleep together.

Grace, if you're gonna think I'm gay

every time I pass out with men,
you're in for a lifetime of heartache.

Hey, little Willie, you have
any socks I can borrow?

Both mine are in the wash.

Top drawer. Help yourself.

There's a small black leather pouch
at the back of the drawer.

Just disregard that.

Morning, sickness.

I don't know which one of you it was.

But last night, someone's hand
repeatedly brushed up

against James
and the giant peaches.

That was your hand, Jack.

Ah. I didn't know I was such a tease.

How are you feeling this morning?

I'm in the third stage
of the grieving process.

I'm past anger and denial
and into leather.

Hello? Oh, hi, Larry. What?
Not the scuba trip!

Watch, he's gonna go up an octave.

Come on!

We have been planning this...

Fine, fine. Thanks a lot. No, I don't
want to talk to Hannah..

Don't put the kid on. Don't...

Hi, Hannah. Hi.

Your daddies are losers. Bye.

What?

"I would have sent flowers

but they're not as much fun
to jump up and down on.

Love, Nathan."

Honey, what's that?
What's going on? What's happening?

Are you jumping or am I
on under-medicated?

I am jumping on my little gift
from my boyfriend.

You know what?
If I had your boobs

I'd have two black eyes right now.

Yeah. You'd also have a rich husband.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking that it's a dopey gift

because it doesn't
have "Tiffany" or "Cartier"

or "may cause drowsiness" on it.

But I will tell you something.

I like Nathan, and I don't
care what you think.

So, what do you think?

Oh, honey, where do I begin?

He's crude, he's crass.
Last night at the party

he dropped an ice cube
down my blouse

just so he could fish it
back out again.

Oh, honey, I love him.

- Really?
- Yeah, I think you found the one.

- Well, the one for now.
- Oh, pshaw. Come on.

The only thing to do now
is get a blood test

pick out a big, white cake

and get a copy of
"Sloppy Bride" magazine.

Not so fast. We've only been
going out for two weeks.

It took me longer
to pick out my screen name

and it's "Grace Adler."

I don't know. I think you're gonna
be with Nathan forever.

I can feel it in some
of my original bones.

it's just a matter of time before you're
driving a mini-van full of screaming kids

to K-Mart to pick out curtains

for your mud hut in Tarrytown.

And you know what the best part is?

Now, you can start phasing
Nathan in and Will out.

Yeah, you know, it's like
it says in the Bible.

"When you've got the beau,
who needs the 'mo?"

Ok, we have a problem.
I don't see three seats together.

Well, there's two over there,
and there's those two there.

All right, I'm gonna ask
that couple to move.

Be nice.

What? I'm always nice.

- Excuse me, I hate to bother you...
- We're not moving.

You suck. I hope you're sitting on gum.

I'm sorry. He's just angry because
I'm making him see Chocolat again.

And besides, that seat's broken.

Oh, great. We can't sit together.

Let's just go see another movie.

No, I don't want to miss Chocolat.
It's magical.

Look, I'll take that one over there,
and you guys take these two.

- It's fine.
- All right. Well... We'll see you later

and if you need anything,
just, you know... go get it.

You know, the truth is,
I'm glad it's just us

because there's something
I've been wanting to say to you.

Yeah, I've never been the first one
to say this in a relationship, but...

- I'm just gonna do it. Grace, I...
- Oh, will you excuse me a minute?

What?

I need to be sitting next to Will
when the candy band plays.

- The what?
- You know, the candy band

the ad for the concession when the different
types of candy play different instruments

and the box of popcorn is out
on a date with the sexy soda.

Anyway, Will and I have this little thing
that we do when the box of Goobers

gets his nose stuck
in the screen. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.

Oh, gosh! Ok, someone's gonna
need a new soda.

What are you doing here? You know
I don't like to be near you

when the candy band comes on.

I think that Nathan is
about to say "I love you".

Yeah?

Isn't that too much?
Isn't it too soon?

When he tells you he loves you,
that's wonderful.

God, if I could get a guy to say
he loved me, I wouldn't be here.

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course
I would. I love Chocolat.

No, no, no. You don't understand.
If he says "I love you", then that...

That just starts a whole chain
of events in motion

and before I know it

I'm living in a mud hut in Tarrytown.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Now, just please, get out of here, ok?

I don't want you here when
the nose gets stuck. Go!

Excuse me. Pardon me. Oh, God.
Someone's gonna need popcorn.

Excuse me.

Hi. I'm sorry about that.

Now let's just watch the movie.

Oh, hey there, muffin. How are you
doing with this whole dad thing?

Better, I think. I have light
days and heavy days.

Today's a light day.
I could even ride a horse.

Well, I give you credit.

Boy, if I'd spent
two years of my life

looking for my dad only
to find out he's dead

I don't think there'd be
a pill big enough to kill that pain.

Oh, who am I kidding?
They'd make me one.

Excuse me. Are you Karen Walker?

Why? Did her step-son sit on you?

No.

- Did her driver accidentally run you over?
- No.

Are you an employee
at one of her husband's

- textile factories in Jakarta?
- No.

I'm Karen Walker.
How can I help you?

well, I went to your house
because that's the last address I had.

- I'm looking for Jack McFarland.
- Why? does he owe you money?

No.

Did he steal some
of your jokes for his cabaret act?

No.

You missing a scooter you probably
weren't using anyway?

No.

Hi, I'm Jack McFarland.

You are? Wow. I mean, hi. I'm Elliot.

Well, what can we do
for you, little man?

well, 13 years ago,
did you donate your..."stuff"

to a... "stuff" bank called
the New York Family Clinic?

Let's see. I think I did have
an account at that bank.

Well, my mom was a nurse there,
and she wanted a baby real bad

so she took your...donation.

I'm your son.

I'm gonna talk to him.

I'm gonna talk to him.

Tomorrow, I am gonna talk to him.

Great news. Guess where
we're going on Friday.

To the drugstore so you can
stock up on Campho-Phenique?

I'm just going by
what we did last Friday.

Ok, I'll give you a hint...

"We'll always have Paris."

- Paris?
- No! Casablanca.

Morocco, you ninny!
Look! two tickets!

I wanted to go to Morocco
ever since college!

I know! Well, I figured,
since your scuba trip was canceled

it's just a perfect opportunity
for us to finally go.

Can you really take the time off?

Well, I talked to my boss,
which is me.

She's a bit of a bitch,
but then I threatened to quit

and she's all, "You can't quit.
You're fired."

And I'm all, "You can't fire me.
I quit."

- Finish this, babe.
- We're going to Morocco!

Three fun-filled weeks! I've already
booked the whole thing with Jeanette

the bitter-for-no-reason travel agent.

- Why is she bitter?
- No reason.

God! Morocco! This is gonna
be great, you know?

We're gonna be rocking the casbah,
even if the sharif don't like it.

- What about Nathan?
- What about him?

Well, you guys just started
to get serious

Isn't it really kind
of a bad time to leave?

Oh, Don't worry about Nathan.
He'll be fine.

- Ok.
- Morocco!

Hey, isn't that
your imaginary boyfriend?

Yeah. I'm being coy today,
you know? I'm his coy toy.

I'm his koi pond.
No wonder I'm alone.

I came as fast as I could.

Where's my red chinchilla warm-up suit?

Honey, I lied. There is no suit.

And I fell for it! Twice in one day!

Honey, you have a child.
You've gotta start dealing with that.

This again?

Since when do you care
so much about family?

Hey! I'm the one who cared enough
about my dying grandfather

to walk up a mountain
every day to tend to him.

Yeah, even after they took
me away to be Clara's companion

I never forgot about him, no.

In fact, I got Clara
out of that wheelchair

just so I could get back
to my dear grandpapa.

Karen, that's not you. That's Heidi.

Oh. Then what's my story?

Look, my mind is made up.
I don't want to see that kid, ok

All right, but I've got
a small man in the back

who's ready to give you
a red chinchilla warm-up suit.

Really?

Come on out, sir!

She did it again!

All right, now get in there.

You two are gonna stay in here
till you work something out.

Mr. McFarland, I didn't mean
to freak you out.

I just wanted to meet you.

Yeah, well, we don't need to meet, ok?

Because I'm not your father.

But you are. My mom still has your file.

It says that you were
a ballet dancer and model

who enjoys long walks
on the beach.

That's not me.

And it says that you were
part of a performing group called

"Jack and the Beanstalk".

That was a solo act!

Listen, Elliot,
I can't do this with you, ok?

A kid just does not fit
into my "E! True Hollywood Story."

But I don't want anything from you.

I just thought every once in a while we could,
I don't know, hang out or something

maybe throw a ball...

Or watch hockey...
Or see a Jackie Chan movie?

Dear God! What has not having
a father done to you?

So, what do you think?

Yeah, I... Listen, Elliot,
I'm sorry, but...

It's ok. It doesn't matter.
I mean, what do you care?

You don't know what it's like
not to know your father.

Actually, I do.

I didn't know my father, either.

- Really?
- My dad was some anonymous stranger

in a Nixon mask who did my mom

at a pool party

- Who's Nixon?
- I don't know.

Didn't you ever wonder
who your dad was,

and if he was like you?

Yeah, I used to.

For a while, you know,
every drop-dead gorgeous guy I'd see

I'd yell "daddy"
and see if they turn around.

I used to pretend my dad was Spiderman.

My God, you must be psychic,
because I have been known

to scale tall buildings
to get out of sticky situations.

Well, I've met you.

I guess I should go.

Yeah.

You know, if you're not in a hurry, you maybe
wanna go grab a burger or something?

Yeah, I guess. You buying?

Heh, I was just gonna ask
you the same thing.

Hey, it gets pretty chilly out there, so...

- So, where are you from?
- I'm from Queens.

Yes, you are, but we'll talk
about that when you're older.

Ok. gel, mousse... thickener,
volumizer...

wet look, dry look... megahold...

Something in here I don't need.
Oh, shampoo.

Just came to return your socks.

You don't need to wash them.
I only wore them a day or two.

- You just missed your girlfriend.
- You mean ex-girlfriend.

What?

She broke up with me.

She what? That's impossible!
She didn't say anything to me

and she tells me everything.

Obviously not everything.

Did she say why?

Well, she talked for
a long time about her life

and her future
and how I'm macaroni salad

and she's kugel with raisins

and by the time she started quoting
lyrics to "Desperado," I was lost.

Why would she break up with you?

You're sensitive, you're smart,
you're funny

you've got an ass that won't quit.

It's just so, you know... Just it's perfect
and round and you just... Again, why? why?

You got me. Maybe it's like she said

"Been out riding fences for so long now".

I mean, I'm a hard one,
but I got my reasons.

I Don't know what to tell you.
She's crazy.

And just when you think you've reached
the bottom level of her craziness

there's a crazy underground garage.

Well, yeah, somebody may have
shot out her porch light

but I do love her.

Have a nice trip.

- God, finally, you're here.
- Why did you break up with Nathan?

Look, I just wanna get
on the plane, go to Morocco

and start having some fun.

- Do we have to talk about this right now?
- Yes, we do.

I don't see a future with him, ok?

I'm 27 years old.
I'm not getting any younger.

Really? Beause in that sentence,
you got five years younger.

- Let's go.
- No. Talk to me!

- I don't wanna talk...
- Tell me!

- It wasn't working out, ok?
- Why?

- He's weird!
- He's interesting.

- He's childish.
- He's fun.

- He's aimless.
- He could change your life.

- That's what I'm afraid of.
- Yeah, but why?

I like my life.

I like our thing.

If things start working out with Nathan,
then everything's gonna change.

Good!

Grace... So it changes.

I just don't want you using me as an excuse
for not getting on with your life.

- That's not what I'm doing. It's just that...
- Do you love him?

Do I what?

Don't do Fiddler with me.

I'm asking you a question.
Do you love him?

It is not that simple.

Do you love him?

I don't know.

Maybe...

Well, go find out.

race, you got two choices here

You take the easy route...

Fly to a third-world country,
ride a camel

and wake up in a tent beside
the swarthy prince who bought you.

Or you can take a risk in your life

get in that car, go back to the apartment,
and see what happens with you and Nathan.

I knew you'd choose me.

You know, I just as easily could
have gotten on that plane and...

Could be on the way
to Morocco right now...

With the camels and the sand...

I love you.

I love you, too.

Oh, excuse me...

Hey, I know you.

I've seen you at the coffee
shop on Columbus.

You know, I keep meaning
to introduce myself.

I am Chris.

Will. Hi.
Where are you off to?

France. Going on this bike
tour through the Loire valley.

How about you?

France. Bike tour.

Team W&G