Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,843
Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy,
this is a great booking.
2
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,345
Don't bubbeleh me, boychik.
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,406
Entertaining the kids at
Kelly Clarkson's housewarming.
4
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:19,576
It's not my fault you lost
all your money on NFTs...
5
00:00:19,578 --> 00:00:21,687
non-funny TV shows.
6
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,523
Now get to work,
you're behind on your Cameos.
7
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:27,934
Hey, hey, Jacob!
8
00:00:27,936 --> 00:00:31,530
Your dad's super-sad he couldn't
make it to your bar mitzvah.
9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,106
It's a real shonda.
10
00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:37,127
Also, all the best from Dad's new wife,
Shonda.
11
00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,708
Oh...
12
00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,694
Thank you so much for doing this,
Krusty.
13
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,213
Kelly really appreciates it.
14
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,624
And the children are all huge fans.
Right, kids?
15
00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:53,719
- Mm-hmm.
- Totally. - Yeah, we love you, Crisco.
16
00:00:56,724 --> 00:01:00,300
Oh, what's that Kelly
Clarkson got that I don't?
17
00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:03,729
We all won singing
contests 20 years ago.
18
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:07,066
Oh, where's my infinity toilet?
19
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:10,385
Oh, that toilet isn't
from American Idol money.
20
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:12,145
You're looking at daytime-syndicated
21
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,147
talk show wealth.
22
00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,815
See those mega mansions?
23
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,317
Well, they belong to the
superstars of daytime TV:
24
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,394
- Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams,
- Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
25
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,154
and that jerk Doctor Phil.
26
00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:24,825
All bought and paid for
with syndicated megabucks.
27
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,752
I see something in you, Krusty.
28
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,995
Oh, I was gonna put it back.
29
00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:30,497
You have daytime chops.
30
00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:32,649
There's always a place
on TV for a Regis...
31
00:01:32,651 --> 00:01:35,168
a cranky but lovable, sexless grandpa.
32
00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:37,471
Yeah, and what makes you the expert?
33
00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:40,173
_
34
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:44,328
Here's the real test. Get
that mom squad dancing.
35
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:47,255
Daytime audiences love to dance.
36
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,939
Forget it, lady. I still got my dignity.
37
00:01:50,493 --> 00:01:51,535
Hey, wait.
38
00:01:51,537 --> 00:01:52,836
Mm...
39
00:01:52,838 --> 00:01:54,279
Hey, hey, Bryson!
40
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,265
Your mom wanted me to
congratulate you on...
41
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,860
getting your braces tightened.
42
00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,028
Make up a rap about it?
43
00:02:02,359 --> 00:02:04,865
Look, fine, I'll dance.
44
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:10,111
? Apple bottom jeans,
boots with the fur ?
45
00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,371
? With the fur ?
46
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:14,541
? The whole club was lookin' at her ?
47
00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:16,376
- ? She hit the floor ?
- ? She hit the floor ?
48
00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,195
? Next thing you know ?
49
00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:21,789
? Shawty got low, low,
low, low, low, low, low ?
50
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,959
? Them baggy sweat pants and
the Reeboks with the straps. ?
51
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,041
What's taking so long?
52
00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,985
All this food I can't
eat is taunting me.
53
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,912
I read that grain-free
is supposed to be good.
54
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:37,214
Or was it grain-full?
55
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,732
Mom, can we get a gecko?
56
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,492
I want a guinea pig.
57
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,810
How about both in one cage,
and see what happens?
58
00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,313
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, please, mom?
59
00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:46,999
- Please, come on, a gecko and a guinea pig.
- No! Why would we...
60
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:59,085
Marge, honestly,
is this how you pictured your life?
61
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:01,254
I think not.
62
00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:03,924
Yes, I lick my behind. Big surprise.
63
00:03:03,926 --> 00:03:05,926
Excuse me,
would you like to come participate
64
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,577
in a focus group?
65
00:03:07,579 --> 00:03:10,022
Yes, anything but this.
66
00:03:10,412 --> 00:03:11,648
Just pick a food.
67
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:14,401
Oh...
68
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:16,646
_
69
00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:20,032
We want to know what you want
in your daytime programming.
70
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,850
There are no wrong
answers and no bad ideas.
71
00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:25,429
In that case, recipes.
72
00:03:25,431 --> 00:03:26,455
Sure.
73
00:03:27,766 --> 00:03:29,099
Air-fryer recipes.
74
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,712
Celebrities come on the show?
75
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,196
Well, yes, obviously, but...
76
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:36,957
Put it on the board, then.
77
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,125
Uh, I was thinking...
78
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,945
Something with vacuums.
79
00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:48,301
Shiny coat or liver support?
80
00:03:48,303 --> 00:03:51,021
Why are they doing this to us?
81
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,650
- Hats?
- What about hats, Helen?
82
00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:56,960
Maybe...
83
00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:59,220
babies wearing hats?
84
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:02,148
And it's a whole baby hat fashion show?
85
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,800
- Exactly. Exactly.
- Oh, yeah, there you go. - Ooh.
86
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,244
That's not bad.
87
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,729
And you know how there are just too many
88
00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,564
dog food options these days?
89
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,826
What if you brought out Instagram dogs
90
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,995
and had them do a taste test?
91
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,997
Wow! Well, that's really good.
92
00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:18,815
What other ideas do you have?
93
00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,500
Candle unboxing and sniffing.
94
00:04:20,502 --> 00:04:24,154
Celebrities read nice tweets
about other celebrities.
95
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,598
Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns.
96
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,508
Funny bed-making fails.
97
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:29,584
And...
98
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:33,497
tweens explain TikToks to carpool moms.
99
00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:34,648
Eh?
100
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,110
You're a natural. You've got nice ideas
101
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,003
coming out the wazoo.
102
00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:43,006
You know, I'm in the market
for a new segment producer.
103
00:04:43,008 --> 00:04:44,265
You are?
104
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,692
Will you excuse me for a second?
105
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,193
Jerry, you're fired.
106
00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:49,621
I'm... I'm free.
107
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,940
Segment producer?
108
00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:55,120
I don't know. I-I should probably
109
00:04:55,155 --> 00:04:57,337
talk it over with my family.
110
00:04:57,915 --> 00:05:01,838
_
111
00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:04,803
I'll take the job.
112
00:05:05,697 --> 00:05:07,454
Be warned, segment producer.
113
00:05:07,456 --> 00:05:10,141
No one makes it out of
these shows unchanged.
114
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,645
Oh, well, then it's a good
thing I'm not much of a changer.
115
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,481
You can keep your job
or you can keep your soul,
116
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,707
but you can't keep both.
117
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:20,209
Also, when you turn in your receipts,
118
00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:23,046
break them down between
dining and mileage
119
00:05:23,048 --> 00:05:25,806
or you'll await the reimbursements...
120
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:26,991
forever!
121
00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:36,225
So this is behind the
scenes of a TV show.
122
00:05:36,227 --> 00:05:38,394
So much hustle.
123
00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:39,921
And bustle.
124
00:05:43,234 --> 00:05:44,884
Mm... mm.
125
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,570
This is your desk.
126
00:05:47,572 --> 00:05:50,907
And this is where you can pin
all your genius segment ideas.
127
00:05:50,909 --> 00:05:52,684
With five shows a week,
it's very important
128
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,244
that you always be thinking up segments.
129
00:05:55,246 --> 00:05:56,354
A daytime talk show without
130
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,248
fun and interesting
segments is like a...
131
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,250
You, finish my metaphor.
132
00:06:01,252 --> 00:06:02,527
Uh, um...
133
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,863
Get me a baked potato
134
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,365
so I can throw it at your head.
135
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,592
Now!
136
00:06:09,594 --> 00:06:12,662
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
137
00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:17,709
Oh, I-I don't need to order lunch.
138
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:21,212
My kids packed mine as a
special treat for my first day.
139
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,089
- _
- Aw.
140
00:06:25,276 --> 00:06:28,294
Hmm. Maybe I will take
a look at that menu.
141
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:31,964
Can I order you something, um...
What-what's your name?
142
00:06:31,966 --> 00:06:34,133
Uh, to make it simpler
for the producers,
143
00:06:34,135 --> 00:06:35,685
we're-we're all named Jordan.
144
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:41,641
I should've ordered some salad
145
00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:45,153
to go with my salad toppings.
146
00:06:46,464 --> 00:06:48,865
- _
- Mm.
147
00:06:53,154 --> 00:06:54,787
Oh.
148
00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:58,917
What the hell is this?
149
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,993
You people didn't write me any jokes.
150
00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:03,570
You don't need jokes.
The women in our audience
151
00:07:03,572 --> 00:07:05,648
are just happy to be out of the house.
152
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:08,426
They want to dance to clean
versions of Pitbull songs
153
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,912
and go home with a free copy
of a Real Housewives memoir.
154
00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:14,173
Your only job is just be nice.
155
00:07:14,175 --> 00:07:16,208
It's all about nice.
156
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:19,162
Did you just make eye
contact with the host?
157
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,513
No, I would never!
158
00:07:21,516 --> 00:07:23,349
- Aah!
- Oh!
159
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:27,003
Ladies and gay friends, I'm MC Hairbone,
160
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:29,839
the funkiest daytime DJ in the world.
161
00:07:29,841 --> 00:07:32,099
Get on your feet for your newest,
non-threatening-est
162
00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:34,768
king of late morning or early afternoon
163
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:37,346
depending on your local
market and time zone:
164
00:07:37,348 --> 00:07:39,031
Krusty!
165
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:41,292
? Apple bottom jeans,
boots with the fur ?
166
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,794
? With the fur ?
167
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,038
? The whole club was lookin' at her ?
168
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,040
- ? She hit the floor ?
- ? She hit the floor ?
169
00:07:48,042 --> 00:07:50,359
? Next thing you know,
shawty got low, low ?
170
00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:53,078
? Low, low, low, low, low, low ?
171
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,457
? Them baggy sweat pants and
the Reeboks with the straps ?
172
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:58,643
- ? With the straps ?
- ? She turned around and gave ?
173
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,812
? That big booty a slap. ?
174
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:05,984
Look at this. I already got
a wardrobe malfunction.
175
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,821
That's the kind of joke we get.
176
00:08:12,717 --> 00:08:13,992
Ah.
177
00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:18,663
- _
- Oh, my God, this is my first segment.
178
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,574
I hope people like it, Jordan.
179
00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:24,277
Look at this guy. He's saying,
180
00:08:24,312 --> 00:08:26,579
"I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap."
181
00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,657
These are my people.
182
00:08:30,659 --> 00:08:33,327
And they're raising
the roof for my idea.
183
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:36,422
Can you believe we get paid for this?
184
00:08:37,024 --> 00:08:38,199
We don't.
185
00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:43,170
Bart, you're taking this really well.
186
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:45,248
I'd have thought you'd be
hatching some scheme
187
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,391
to get the old Krusty show back.
188
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:48,541
Why would I do that?
189
00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:50,770
I've got my favorite
Krusty episodes right here.
190
00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:52,864
More than 700 of 'em.
191
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,275
Hm, kind of makes you think.
192
00:08:56,277 --> 00:08:58,928
Once you have enough
episodes of any classic show,
193
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,097
why do you need to keep making more?
194
00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:02,856
Well, the reason is...
195
00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:04,525
Shh. Watching classic Krusty.
196
00:09:08,606 --> 00:09:10,456
Oh, it's just so easy.
197
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,291
I don't have to be funny anymore.
198
00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:13,609
I just have to be nice.
199
00:09:13,611 --> 00:09:16,036
It's the greatest grift I've ever done.
200
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:19,891
I'm gonna go buy some cars.
201
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,376
- Mm...
- You did a great job today, Marge.
202
00:09:22,378 --> 00:09:25,638
You know, we women have to
stick together in this business.
203
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,807
But I also want you
to never quite be sure
204
00:09:27,809 --> 00:09:29,292
where you stand with me, and just have
205
00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:32,628
a general sense of unease
about my intentions.
206
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:34,297
Does that make sense?
207
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,965
I think so.
208
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:36,967
Great.
209
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,559
Okay, everybody, conference room.
210
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:40,303
Pitch meeting for tomorrow.
211
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:41,487
You, plaid shirt.
212
00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:43,489
Not you. Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah.
213
00:09:43,491 --> 00:09:44,990
Bring the binder of dinner menus.
214
00:09:44,992 --> 00:09:47,067
- ? Let me talk to 'em ?
- ? Come on ?
215
00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:49,495
- ? Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans ?
- ? Jeans ?
216
00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:52,573
- ? Boots with the fur ?
- ? With the fur ?
217
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:55,593
? The whole club was lookin' at her ?
218
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,810
- ? She hit the floor ?
- ? She hit the floor ?
219
00:09:57,845 --> 00:09:59,097
? Next thing you know, low ?
220
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,173
? Hey, I ain't never seen
nothing that'll make me go ?
221
00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:02,934
? This crazy all night,
spending my dough ?
222
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,936
? Had a million-dollar
vibe and a body to go ?
223
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,496
? Them birthday cakes,
they stole the show, so sexual ?
224
00:10:07,498 --> 00:10:09,089
? She was flexible, professional ?
225
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:10,608
? Drinking X and O ?
226
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,184
? Hold up wait a minute, do I see ?
227
00:10:12,186 --> 00:10:14,862
- ? What I think I, whoa ?
- ? Come on. ?
228
00:10:17,239 --> 00:10:19,065
Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late.
229
00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:21,994
You would not believe the day I had.
230
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,755
Oh, please, let's eat. I'm starving.
231
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,832
Oh, but if the bill looks high,
it's because
232
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,343
I already ate a full meal here.
233
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,655
And then Krusty didn't even tell us
234
00:10:32,657 --> 00:10:34,581
he had swapped the A and B blocks.
235
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:35,933
I'd already preset the demo table
236
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,994
for my segment, "popcorn maker wars."
237
00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:40,438
So, then it's my fault
238
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,756
the "reuniting soldiers
and their dogs" segment
239
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,500
was such a disaster?
240
00:10:44,502 --> 00:10:47,594
Carla's the one who turned
on the popcorn machines.
241
00:10:47,596 --> 00:10:49,947
And that's Hair Department Carla?
242
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,783
No, Hair Department Carla is blonde.
243
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,860
You know, my day was pretty crazy, too.
244
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:58,180
Lenny came in this morning
with a ladybug on his shirt,
245
00:10:58,182 --> 00:11:01,183
and we were seeing how
long before he noticed it.
246
00:11:01,185 --> 00:11:03,794
Segment idea: "Krusty goes blond."
247
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,465
Lenny made it all the way to lunch
248
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,209
and then the little guy
just fell off on its own.
249
00:11:11,862 --> 00:11:13,787
We called him Ladybug Lenny
250
00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:15,622
for the rest of the day!
251
00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:19,643
Ah, ladybugs.
252
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,812
Oh, I have to go back to the office.
253
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,056
The viral skateboard grandma
we booked for tomorrow
254
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,859
has a history of racist tweets.
255
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:31,363
Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet.
256
00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:32,564
_
257
00:11:34,643 --> 00:11:35,734
Hmm.
258
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:36,827
No.
259
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:39,738
No. Too edgy. Too soft.
260
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,073
What is this, Corden?
261
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:44,393
Seen it. Not timely. Too timely.
262
00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:45,819
Way too soft.
263
00:11:45,821 --> 00:11:47,505
What is this, Fallon?
264
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,565
"Good luck Mom, we love you."
265
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:50,824
I don't even get this.
266
00:11:50,826 --> 00:11:53,093
Is that all you got?
267
00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:55,513
Mm...
268
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,425
Guys, I know I've been
a little stressed lately,
269
00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:04,263
but it's so nice for us
to all sit down together.
270
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,583
It's okay, Mom.
You're doing your dream job.
271
00:12:07,585 --> 00:12:09,175
Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom.
272
00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:10,694
Now pass the index cards.
273
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:11,754
The what?
274
00:12:11,756 --> 00:12:13,756
I'm hungry for segments.
275
00:12:13,758 --> 00:12:15,591
Aah!
276
00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:17,593
What's the matter, Marge?
277
00:12:17,595 --> 00:12:19,036
You haven't even touched
278
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,830
your steamed pushpins.
279
00:12:23,768 --> 00:12:25,084
Aah!
280
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,467
Aah! Oh!
281
00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:44,979
Eh?
282
00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:51,819
Aah!
283
00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:59,318
Mm. Mm...
284
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,136
Look alive, people. The big boss
285
00:13:01,138 --> 00:13:02,988
wants to see everyone for a meeting.
286
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:06,308
Krusty's here? But we don't
tape for another eight minutes.
287
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,902
I just wanted to tell
you how grateful I am
288
00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:10,254
for all your hard work.
289
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,256
I never knew doing a television show
290
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,259
could require so little
effort on my part.
291
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:18,837
If anyone needs anything,
I'll be in my spray tan tent.
292
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,432
Thanks, Krusty. You earned it.
293
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,326
Back to work.
We need 50 branded segment ideas
294
00:13:24,328 --> 00:13:27,754
for Menopause Chapstick and
something called Cereal Wine.
295
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,334
At this solemn and holy moment,
296
00:13:32,336 --> 00:13:33,836
I baptize thee...
297
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,526
How are we supposed to
do surprise makeovers
298
00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:42,861
on the mailmen you brought in?
299
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,863
Every one of them is already gorgeous.
300
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,790
Shh!
301
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:50,461
Special thanks to the
Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew.
302
00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:55,615
- That was great.
- It was fine.
303
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:56,875
I mean, look me in the eye
304
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,862
and tell me where the GIF was. Tell me.
305
00:13:59,864 --> 00:14:02,640
Uh, uh, uh,
when the little kid breakdanced.
306
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,141
Um, excuse me, Marge,
307
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:07,144
there seems to be an
emergency at your house.
308
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,980
What is so important that
you pulled me out of work?
309
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,057
Marge, there's no emergency.
310
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,559
Have a seat. This is an intervention.
311
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,490
I missed the big reveal?
You said I had time.
312
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,233
Midge, go out and come back in.
313
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,827
Aw, nah, forget that.
Who's that even for?
314
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,755
All right, all right, intervention.
And, uh, go.
315
00:14:26,757 --> 00:14:28,891
If this is about the melatonin gummies,
316
00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:31,059
I can stop whenever I want.
317
00:14:31,061 --> 00:14:32,561
No, Marge. We're interventioning
318
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:34,320
you and your whole deal.
319
00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:36,173
I never thought I'd speak ill of TV,
320
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,676
but I think it's destroying you.
321
00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:41,679
Mm-hmm.
322
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,181
Cut to commercial.
323
00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:50,095
Okay, let's make this quick.
Everybody say your little thing.
324
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,172
We're just worried about you, Marge.
325
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:55,250
Look,
even your best friend Luann is here.
326
00:14:55,252 --> 00:14:56,694
Best friend?
327
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,696
We haven't had the conversation yet,
328
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,698
but it's unspoken.
329
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,925
Mom, we want to be
supportive of your dreams,
330
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:05,928
but you just don't seem
to be enjoying it anymore.
331
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:08,263
Oh, I'm sorry.
332
00:15:08,265 --> 00:15:10,599
Sorry that you're all so threatened
333
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:12,617
by a powerful, successful woman.
334
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:16,196
Lisa, as a feminist,
you should be ashamed of yourself.
335
00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:18,790
Really? Just this week the show's done
336
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,276
"sext your way out of traffic school"
337
00:15:21,278 --> 00:15:26,006
and debuted a new daily segment
called "trends in cleavage."
338
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:28,392
When's this show on again?
339
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,476
- _
- Mm?
340
00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:35,290
The Internet's on fire about our story
341
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:38,051
exposing the toxic work
environment at Krusty.
342
00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:40,738
- Inexcusable.
- I heard they made all the interns
343
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,981
convert to Judaism
and work on Christmas,
344
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,075
then convert back and work on Passover.
345
00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:47,227
Mm-hmm.
346
00:15:47,795 --> 00:15:49,079
This is a disaster.
347
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:52,065
We can finish this dumb thing later.
348
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:55,419
Hmm. So, um, what's the move here?
349
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,496
Well, is there anything else
we can work on?
350
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,630
Hey Homer, how's the drinking?
351
00:15:58,632 --> 00:16:00,148
Same.
352
00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:09,249
What the hell is this?
353
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:12,327
For the first time in my life,
I'm not responsible
354
00:16:12,329 --> 00:16:15,847
for a toxic work environment.
I'm barely ever here.
355
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,494
Physically, and certainly not mentally.
356
00:16:18,529 --> 00:16:19,773
Don't worry, Krusty.
357
00:16:19,808 --> 00:16:22,137
I'm going to find whoever said
it's terrible to work here
358
00:16:22,139 --> 00:16:25,415
and personally bully them until
their hair falls out in clumps.
359
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:28,660
But what you need now
is a redemption episode.
360
00:16:28,662 --> 00:16:31,254
And I know I speak for the
entire staff when I say
361
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:34,091
we're willing to pull an
all-nighter to make it happen.
362
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,095
Aah!
363
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,597
Yeah, and you'll write me
one of those apologies
364
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,490
where it sounds like I'm sorry
but I'm not actually
365
00:16:42,492 --> 00:16:44,659
taking the blame for anything?
366
00:16:44,661 --> 00:16:46,845
I've done hundreds of these.
It's actually a template
367
00:16:46,847 --> 00:16:48,522
in the software we use.
368
00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:50,090
_
369
00:16:50,091 --> 00:16:51,441
Uh, what else?
370
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,002
Bart, you got to be addicted
to something by now.
371
00:16:54,004 --> 00:16:55,520
None of your business.
372
00:16:55,522 --> 00:16:57,339
Fair enough.
373
00:16:57,341 --> 00:16:59,174
? Shawty had them ?
374
00:16:59,176 --> 00:17:02,193
- ? Apple Bottom jeans ?
- ? Jeans ?
375
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,955
? Boots with the fur ?
376
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,198
? With the fur. ?
377
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,517
I was devastated to learn that our show
378
00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:12,295
has become a toxic work environment.
379
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,798
Well, even though
I knew absolutely nothing
380
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,468
about what was going on,
the buck stops with me.
381
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:22,197
And I promise you,
I'm going to take some time to listen,
382
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:26,101
learn, not touch, and listen.
383
00:17:27,871 --> 00:17:30,221
What the hell is this?!
384
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:32,207
How am I supposed to do the salad shake
385
00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:34,726
if it's not in its original container?
386
00:17:34,977 --> 00:17:36,153
Aah!
387
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,323
Oh, my God.
388
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,492
What have I become?
389
00:17:48,408 --> 00:17:51,559
I was completely unaware
of the following policies:
390
00:17:51,561 --> 00:17:53,170
if employees see me in my car,
391
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,246
they must lower imaginary sunglasses
392
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:57,415
as if impressed and aroused.
393
00:17:57,417 --> 00:17:59,567
Krusty, you don't need to do this.
394
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:01,586
The world needs to know the truth.
395
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:04,497
It's the system of
daytime TV that's toxic.
396
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:06,516
It's turned us all into monsters
397
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,259
fueled by stress, gaslighting,
398
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,854
and $15 kale Caesar salads.
399
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:13,339
The pressure to crank out so much nice
400
00:18:13,341 --> 00:18:15,583
brings out the worst in us.
401
00:18:15,585 --> 00:18:18,770
We just wanted to bring
more nice in the world.
402
00:18:19,277 --> 00:18:20,864
More nice.
403
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,924
Okay, new speech.
404
00:18:22,926 --> 00:18:24,259
This non-apology apology
405
00:18:24,261 --> 00:18:26,852
just became a real apology.
406
00:18:26,854 --> 00:18:28,020
This place isn't toxic
407
00:18:28,022 --> 00:18:30,564
because of whoever this lady is
408
00:18:30,566 --> 00:18:32,542
or "the system."
409
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:35,119
It's toxic because of me.
410
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:37,121
I'm a showbiz monster.
411
00:18:37,123 --> 00:18:39,031
I'm not nice.
412
00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:41,033
So I'm stepping away from the show...
413
00:18:41,035 --> 00:18:42,719
forever.
414
00:18:43,324 --> 00:18:44,412
Wha?
415
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,998
Krusty.
Krusty, you don't have to do this.
416
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,466
It's not your fault.
417
00:18:48,468 --> 00:18:50,560
Look, lady,
I couldn't agree with you more.
418
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:53,396
Everyone who works
here except me is nuts.
419
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:56,399
I just quit because I closed
the deal for a new gig
420
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,551
which makes daytime talk show money
421
00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:00,886
look like late night talk show money.
422
00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:03,073
TV judge syndication money.
423
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,466
A judge?
424
00:19:04,468 --> 00:19:08,060
Judge Judy is the richest
TV star in the world.
425
00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:10,080
So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty.
426
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,065
I can let my body go,
just sit on my keister
427
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,401
and speak truth to stupid all day.
428
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:18,922
All right, I got to go work
on my humiliation quips.
429
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,757
You ever do any bailiffing?
430
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:21,759
Some.
431
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,510
No more show?
432
00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:27,555
I'm... I'm free.
433
00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:31,009
Oh come on, why would you do that?
434
00:19:31,011 --> 00:19:33,353
Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry.
435
00:19:34,498 --> 00:19:35,921
Oh, come on.
436
00:19:35,923 --> 00:19:37,165
Don't sneeze on my robe
437
00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:39,183
and tell me I'm in a car wash.
438
00:19:39,185 --> 00:19:41,185
Did you fall out of the stupid tree
439
00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:43,095
and land in the idiot mulch?
440
00:19:43,097 --> 00:19:44,930
His quips could use some work.
441
00:19:45,913 --> 00:19:48,934
- Mulch.
- Do you ever miss working in TV, Mom?
442
00:19:48,936 --> 00:19:52,180
There was at least a week there
where you seemed to enjoy it.
443
00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:54,607
Sure, it was rewarding at first.
444
00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:56,793
But this experience has made me realize
445
00:19:56,795 --> 00:20:01,022
my real dream job is
producing this family.
446
00:20:01,024 --> 00:20:02,448
And now, as a consultant,
447
00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:05,026
I get the best of both worlds.
448
00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:08,690
Marge, it's Drew. I need your help.
449
00:20:08,725 --> 00:20:10,882
I got no A block for tomorrow.
450
00:20:10,884 --> 00:20:12,492
Let me see...
451
00:20:12,494 --> 00:20:14,311
Have you seen the viral grandpa?
452
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,538
The one who raises baby ducks?
453
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:20,391
Yes, I'm thinking
surprise spa day for him.
454
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:23,237
And an extreme pond
makeover for the ducks.
455
00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:26,230
Oh, Marge, are you sure
you won't come work for me?
456
00:20:26,232 --> 00:20:27,973
That's very sweet, Drew,
457
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:30,327
but my daytime days are over.
458
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,081
Oh...
459
00:20:36,226 --> 00:20:37,650
I'll be in touch.
460
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:51,481
Here at Segments, we believe
461
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:54,466
there is life after daytime.
462
00:20:54,468 --> 00:20:56,819
Our patients have suffered
indescribable trauma
463
00:20:56,821 --> 00:21:00,064
from TV hosts perpetuating
the cycle of abuse
464
00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:01,640
handed down since the days
465
00:21:01,642 --> 00:21:03,885
of The Mike Douglas Show.
466
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,554
We treat all aspects of PTSD...
467
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,480
post talk show disorder...
468
00:21:08,482 --> 00:21:09,815
compulsive fake laughter,
469
00:21:09,817 --> 00:21:12,059
guest cancellation night terrors,
470
00:21:12,061 --> 00:21:13,577
long haul Kelly Ripas...
471
00:21:13,579 --> 00:21:15,838
Lindsey, who are you talking to?
472
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,081
The audience.
473
00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,566
I'm warming up the audience.
474
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,385
It's all on the teleprompter!
475
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:22,661
Why don't you just put this on
476
00:21:22,663 --> 00:21:24,255
for a "who wore it best" segment?
477
00:21:24,257 --> 00:21:27,058
Mm!
478
00:21:30,930 --> 00:21:32,480
Shh!
479
00:21:34,748 --> 00:21:37,754
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34318
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.