All language subtitles for The Simpsons 34x03 - Lisa the Boy Scout (English)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:09,591 D'oh! 2 00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:19,491 _ 3 00:00:28,678 --> 00:00:32,756 I am so excited for the scout jamboree this weekend. 4 00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:35,534 Dad, hand over the family bugle! 5 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,869 Here she is! 6 00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,929 Old Blowy. 7 00:00:41,004 --> 00:00:43,024 Hmm? 8 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,026 What? You're not a boy! 9 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,937 You can't join the Boy Explorers! 10 00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:48,863 And that's a flugelhorn! 11 00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:51,032 Yes. It's the hardest horn. 12 00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:53,034 And, FYI, I did join. 13 00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:55,612 And I already have three badges... 14 00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:56,889 environmentalism, 15 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:57,964 badge-receiving, 16 00:00:57,966 --> 00:00:59,892 and sibling rivalry. 17 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,560 Come on, you two... 18 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,970 Attention, corporate overlords, 19 00:01:03,972 --> 00:01:06,381 we are Pseudo-nonymous, 20 00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:09,459 and we have taken over this broadcast. 21 00:01:09,461 --> 00:01:12,629 We are the anarchist collective of nameless hacktivists 22 00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:15,632 who published the internal emails of Waffle House 23 00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:19,244 and brought Home Depot's "Find a store near you" feature 24 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,138 to its knees. 25 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:25,233 Now we have hacked into the Disney Corporation's servers 26 00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:29,254 and seized hundreds of hours of never-before-aired footage 27 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,257 from the television show The Simpsons. 28 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,742 Stories so ill-conceived, 29 00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,244 so idiotic 30 00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:38,322 that their exposure would destroy 31 00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:41,433 the value of the very I.P. itself. 32 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,604 Until we are paid a ransom of $20 million in Bitcoin, 33 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,832 we will air these show-destroying scenes 34 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,109 one after another, 35 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,236 starting now. 36 00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:54,856 _ 37 00:01:54,857 --> 00:01:57,116 No, no, it can't be true! 38 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,951 It is true, Carl. 39 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,027 There never was a Lenny. 40 00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:04,698 So Lenny was just a figment of my imagination? 41 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,291 I... I made him up? 42 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,443 Yeah, your psyche created "Lenny" 43 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,963 to help you deal with a terrible trauma there. 44 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,633 - What trauma? - Finding out your previous best friend wasn't real. 45 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,301 It's kind of a thing with you. 46 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,638 Huh. Hey, I haven't seen you in here before. 47 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,365 I'm Carl. What's your name? 48 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,124 Nice to meet you, Steven. 49 00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,093 Aw, crap, here we go again. 50 00:02:26,205 --> 00:02:28,814 Now you see we mean business, Disney. 51 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,559 You will submit $20 million in Bitcoin to our crypto wallet 52 00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:34,711 at the following address. 53 00:02:34,713 --> 00:02:36,062 Until the payment arrives, 54 00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:38,732 we will keep playing these nonsensical clips 55 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,034 no one was ever meant to see. 56 00:02:42,152 --> 00:02:43,435 _ 57 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,979 What's his name? 58 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,165 Number Eight. 59 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,575 I mean, Santa's Little Helper. 60 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,154 Greetings, lamewads from the past! 61 00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:56,491 I have come back in time to reveal the events of the future, 62 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:59,160 so that you can amaze the world 63 00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:03,256 with your uncannily accurate predictions! 64 00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:05,350 Less yelling, more foretelling. 65 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,594 My first shocking prediction is, 66 00:03:07,596 --> 00:03:09,079 in 2016, 67 00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:12,632 the Nobel Prize in Economics will go to... 68 00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,601 Bengt R. Holmstr�m! 69 00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:17,103 Why would anyone care if we predicted that? 70 00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:18,363 I don't know, but they will. 71 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,106 Do you have anything a little more... 72 00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:22,092 oh, impressive? 73 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,685 Donald Trump is gonna be president. 74 00:03:24,584 --> 00:03:26,538 Less impressive! Less impressive! 75 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,766 Okay, let's see. You're gonna want to mention gas hoarding, 76 00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:30,876 pandemics, 77 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,954 Germany beats Brazil in the 2014 World Cup, 78 00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,196 Disney buys Fox. 79 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,031 And then they both go under?! 80 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,443 No, they're both absorbed by Panda Express. 81 00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:42,054 Pretty much everything now is Panda Express. 82 00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,538 - That makes sense. - I get it. 83 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,557 Ooh! Orange chicken. 84 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:47,980 _ 85 00:03:51,636 --> 00:03:52,880 Arr. 86 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,958 Yarr. 87 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,401 Aye. 88 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,694 - Yarr! - Aye! 89 00:04:00,482 --> 00:04:01,573 Yarr? 90 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,033 Aye. 91 00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:08,088 Yarr! 92 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,331 Aye! 93 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,660 Aye? 94 00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:15,570 Yarr. 95 00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:16,663 Aye? 96 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:17,673 Yarr! 97 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,167 - Aye? - Yarr! 98 00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:23,987 - Aye! Aye! - Yarr! Yarr! 99 00:04:23,989 --> 00:04:25,222 - Aye! - Yarr! 100 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,267 Aye! 101 00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:30,160 Aye! 102 00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:31,828 Yarr. 103 00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:33,563 Yarr. 104 00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:38,068 - Yarr, yarr, yarr, yarr...! - Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye! 105 00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:40,114 _ 106 00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,449 Till the morrow, chums! 107 00:04:52,516 --> 00:04:53,836 Is that you, babe? 108 00:04:53,871 --> 00:04:55,685 Yeah, yeah, I'm home. 109 00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:58,696 - Daddy! Daddy! How was school? - Hey. 110 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,882 It ain't school for Daddy, sweetheart. 111 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,108 It's work. 112 00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:05,295 Soul-sucking, grueling work. 113 00:05:05,297 --> 00:05:06,704 Then why don't you quit? 114 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,282 Always with the quitting, this one. 115 00:05:09,284 --> 00:05:11,743 I can't do that, Doreen! 116 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:16,231 The police department needs someone inside the school! 117 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,233 So why's it got to be you? 118 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,309 Look at me, Didi. 119 00:05:19,311 --> 00:05:21,311 I'm the only 36-year-old 120 00:05:21,313 --> 00:05:23,313 who can pass for ten! 121 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,315 How 'bout passing for a good father? 122 00:05:25,317 --> 00:05:26,816 The kids hardly know you. 123 00:05:26,818 --> 00:05:29,911 You're out every afternoon till 3:00 p.m. 124 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,971 4:00 if there's chess club. 125 00:05:31,973 --> 00:05:33,248 You think I want to be there? 126 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,899 Martin likes chess! 127 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,418 Not me! 128 00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:42,073 I don't know where Martin ends and my Reggie begins! 129 00:05:49,007 --> 00:05:50,932 Aw, maybe you're right. 130 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,767 Maybe I am in too deep. 131 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,104 It's just, when I was diagnosed with... this, 132 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,498 I said, "I'm not gonna let it beat me. 133 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,516 I'm gonna use it for good!" 134 00:06:00,518 --> 00:06:03,111 I'm doing good, aren't I? 135 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,279 You are, Reg. 136 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,173 You're a great role model for your kids. 137 00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:09,117 All three of 'em. 138 00:06:09,942 --> 00:06:11,010 You mean...? 139 00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:12,103 I do. 140 00:06:13,014 --> 00:06:15,348 They still haven't paid the ransom. 141 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,775 Did they not see the nonsense we just released? 142 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,853 How is Martin Prince an adult cop? 143 00:06:19,855 --> 00:06:22,130 Well, maybe I overestimated 144 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,207 how much Disney cares about Lenny. 145 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,967 No, it's not your fault. 146 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,470 You're the finest digital terrorist I know. 147 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:32,415 Your malware shut down the Portland Airport for two weeks. 148 00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:35,385 Everyone missed Thanksgiving. 149 00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:37,646 It's sweet you remembered. 150 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:41,207 Aw, you're sweet, too. 151 00:06:41,209 --> 00:06:42,984 We should probably get back to... 152 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,969 blackmailing the major corporation. 153 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:48,231 Wait! Why did the voice-changing app switch off? 154 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,642 Bollocks. I didn't upgrade to the premium edition, 155 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,220 and the free trial period ran out, I'm afraid. 156 00:06:54,222 --> 00:06:55,997 I am so daft. 157 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,648 Oh, my God, you're British? 158 00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:01,244 That must be delightful for your wife or girlfriend. 159 00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,820 Oh, no, I'm painfully single. 160 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,340 Nary a romantic appointment in my "shed-you-ul." 161 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,250 Say that last part again. 162 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,511 You mean... "shed-you-ul"? 163 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,347 Shed-you-ul. 164 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,307 Shed-you-ul. 165 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,581 Oh! We're back on! We're live! 166 00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:23,632 Well, I-I suppose we should threaten them some more. 167 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:27,195 How about I just run another batch of show-ruining clips 168 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,421 so we can... 169 00:07:28,423 --> 00:07:30,347 Topple the capitalist system 170 00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,016 and its bought-and-paid-for... 171 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,786 Political enablers. 172 00:07:35,693 --> 00:07:37,042 _ 173 00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:38,281 _ 174 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,978 _ 175 00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:43,920 Do you speak English? 176 00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:47,178 _ 177 00:07:47,179 --> 00:07:49,628 _ 178 00:07:49,663 --> 00:07:52,470 We're trapped! Someone get help! 179 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:56,576 _ 180 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,408 _ 181 00:07:58,443 --> 00:08:01,120 I can't help if I can't understand you. 182 00:08:01,122 --> 00:08:03,356 Won't anyone do something?! 183 00:08:03,523 --> 00:08:06,979 _ 184 00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:08,803 _ 185 00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:10,852 _ 186 00:08:10,853 --> 00:08:15,783 _ 187 00:08:15,784 --> 00:08:16,984 _ 188 00:08:19,668 --> 00:08:20,915 Never mind. 189 00:08:22,356 --> 00:08:23,616 _ 190 00:08:23,652 --> 00:08:25,228 Let me get this straight. 191 00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:29,173 You mowed down all that corn to build a football field, 192 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,343 hoping it would lure the ghosts of former players 193 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,403 down from football heaven? 194 00:08:34,405 --> 00:08:36,764 Uh-huh. And look! 195 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,686 Hey, I don't recognize any of these guys. 196 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,430 Why are there two 50-yard lines? 197 00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:45,690 Aw, damn it! 198 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,817 I built a Canadian field! 199 00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:50,253 Oh. Sorry, hoser. 200 00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:53,680 - My bad, eh? - Hey, nice rouge there, Gordo. 201 00:08:53,682 --> 00:08:55,682 Hey, Homer! Throw you a Hail Mary? 202 00:08:55,684 --> 00:08:57,910 Shut up, Flutie. 203 00:08:58,556 --> 00:08:59,611 _ 204 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,266 Uh, yes. The day is Sol, uh, 150. 205 00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:05,359 I am stranded on Mars. 206 00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:09,530 I suspect my fellow astronauts left me behind on purpose, 207 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,274 as from the bathroom 208 00:09:11,276 --> 00:09:13,276 I did hear the giggling and the shushing 209 00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:16,779 and the "Blast off quick before he's done tinkling." 210 00:09:16,781 --> 00:09:20,299 I have a mere three days of air and water remaining. 211 00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:22,727 There is no hope. 212 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,729 Unless I glayvenate the hydrogen, 213 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,230 flavenize the oxygen, 214 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,991 and, yes, yes, poopulate the soil! 215 00:09:28,993 --> 00:09:32,128 It was a simple matter of applying pseudoscience 216 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:35,981 and phantasmagorical engineering to the problem. Yes. 217 00:09:35,983 --> 00:09:38,892 Oh, yes, I also cloned myself for company. 218 00:09:38,894 --> 00:09:41,061 And my fellow Frinks have built us all 219 00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:42,896 an escape rocket. Isn't that wonderful? 220 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,476 Leaving! 221 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,547 Aw, flayvin me in the glayvin! 222 00:09:52,122 --> 00:09:53,448 _ 223 00:09:53,484 --> 00:09:54,908 Hello. This is Homer Simpson. 224 00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:56,928 From the bottom of my heart, I apologize 225 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,172 to the great, great, great people of Finland 226 00:10:00,174 --> 00:10:01,248 for what I said. 227 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,250 I have done many, many, 228 00:10:03,252 --> 00:10:05,344 many, many, many episodes, 229 00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:07,330 and in one of those... just one... 230 00:10:07,332 --> 00:10:09,089 I mixed you up with Norway. 231 00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:13,594 And I have so, so, so, so, so much love and respect for... 232 00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:15,504 I think "Finns" is what you're called. 233 00:10:15,506 --> 00:10:17,264 And if I ever... I mean ever... 234 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,024 ever, ever, ever thought 235 00:10:19,026 --> 00:10:20,860 that an innocent slip of the tongue 236 00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:22,453 is something that an entire nation 237 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,770 could get worked up about, 238 00:10:23,772 --> 00:10:26,015 I would've kept my mouth shut. 239 00:10:26,017 --> 00:10:29,794 And the scary, scary, scary, oh-so-scary lawyers 240 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,130 of the giant, giant... I mean giant... 241 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,691 so, so giant, scary corporation I work for 242 00:10:35,693 --> 00:10:38,302 would not have had to draft this statement. 243 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,695 God bless you 244 00:10:39,697 --> 00:10:42,473 and all the peoples of South America, 245 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,201 for you are a... What? 246 00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:47,461 What do you mean I have to record it again? 247 00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:48,646 What did I say? 248 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,730 _ 249 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,713 You're chewing too loud. 250 00:10:57,715 --> 00:11:00,399 From now on, only two chews per bite. 251 00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:03,143 One, two, swallow. One, two, swallow. 252 00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:07,707 I think I've misplaced my appetite, mother. 253 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,629 I need to see you right now. 254 00:11:14,585 --> 00:11:15,720 _ 255 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,660 I deserve this. 256 00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:21,888 I deserve to feel like a man. 257 00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:26,684 Only with you do I truly feel alive. 258 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,187 I made this just for you. 259 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,522 Thank you, Mother. 260 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:36,085 Anything for my son. I am so proud of you. 261 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,696 Oh, Mommy. I can't wait another second. 262 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,364 You know I need it. 263 00:12:00,461 --> 00:12:02,336 I almost forgot to give you this. 264 00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:04,180 Leave it on the dresser. 265 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:10,394 If only that were my real mother. 266 00:12:11,925 --> 00:12:14,774 If only that were my real son. 267 00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:16,475 _ 268 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,072 I don't mean to be unneighborly, but, uh, 269 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,966 you wouldn't know what happened to my old nostril skirt? 270 00:12:23,968 --> 00:12:27,820 Mustache you say? Hmm, let me think. 271 00:12:27,822 --> 00:12:31,249 Stroking this goatee I've always had. 272 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,917 Stroking, stroking... 273 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,587 That's it. Boys, we're Jewish now. 274 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,090 - L'chaim! - To life! 275 00:12:39,923 --> 00:12:41,722 _ 276 00:12:41,757 --> 00:12:43,261 Mmm. 277 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,729 From bun to pickle, a masterpiece. 278 00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:50,234 The exquisite flavor is matched only by the peerless mouthfeel. 279 00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:51,627 Five stars. 280 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:54,129 Bravo, Harvey Comics, bravo. 281 00:12:54,131 --> 00:12:56,632 A stunning addition to the Casper-verse. 282 00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:58,558 No notes. Ten stars. 283 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,061 With this level of sour cream in your blood, 284 00:13:01,063 --> 00:13:03,989 your brain is completely starved of oxygen. 285 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:06,308 Consequently, you're a moron. 286 00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:09,828 A perfect explanation. Succinct and devastating. 287 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,589 Infinite stars! 288 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:16,260 Best. Diagnosis. Ev... 289 00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:18,765 _ 290 00:13:19,853 --> 00:13:21,466 _ 291 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:22,766 Give me a beer, pally. 292 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:24,768 Hey, I know you, don't I? 293 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,329 Nah, must be thinking of someone else, slim. 294 00:13:27,331 --> 00:13:30,590 No, I've definitely seen you around town. 295 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:31,775 Sign here, chief. 296 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,593 Here's your passport, gorgeous. 297 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,520 Brake pads are shot, tough guy. 298 00:13:35,522 --> 00:13:36,930 Want that toasted, honcho? 299 00:13:36,932 --> 00:13:38,690 Found your car keys, big shot. 300 00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,117 Those were all you! 301 00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,952 I don't know what to tell you, slick. 302 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,288 Just got that sort of face. 303 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,460 Pally-pally-pally-pally-pally- 304 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:54,381 pally-pally-pally-pally-pally- pally-pally-pally-pally-pally... 305 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:03,623 - Oh, my God, you're beautiful. - You're more beautiful! 306 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,033 Oh. Oh, dear. 307 00:14:05,035 --> 00:14:08,203 The world has seen our exquisite symmetrical faces. 308 00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:11,464 Then they've also seen that we're... in love? 309 00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:12,708 My God. Yes. 310 00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:14,634 Yes, that's what it is, isn't it? 311 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,395 It is. It is stunning. 312 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,564 As stunning as this list of abandoned episodes 313 00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:23,285 that started as clever titles and went nowhere. 314 00:14:24,146 --> 00:14:27,389 ? Hopin' for the dream ? 315 00:14:27,391 --> 00:14:28,740 ? Hopin' ? 316 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,502 ? Focus like a laser beam ? 317 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,897 ? I'll keep fighting till I want something great ? 318 00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:37,883 ? Hopin' for a dream ? 319 00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:43,755 ? Hopin' for a dream ? 320 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:47,167 - ? Hopin' ? - ? To someday, somehow have a goal ? 321 00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:48,310 ? I'll keep fight... ? 322 00:14:49,413 --> 00:14:51,004 Are we crazy? 323 00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:53,415 Can two people, forbidden from sharing 324 00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:57,085 any personal information, really make a life together? 325 00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:59,029 I do think we owe it to each other to try, 326 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:01,256 um... whoever you are. 327 00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:02,682 I can't wait 328 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:06,203 until we're Mr. and Mrs. Redacted. 329 00:15:07,826 --> 00:15:09,097 FBI. 330 00:15:09,099 --> 00:15:10,541 Surrender, hacker scum! 331 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:14,027 If we're going down, we'll take The Simpsons with us. 332 00:15:14,029 --> 00:15:17,214 I'm gonna play the dog scene. 333 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,178 Good morning, Homer. 334 00:15:26,283 --> 00:15:27,516 It's morning?! 335 00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:33,122 FBI. 336 00:15:33,205 --> 00:15:35,566 We've got you cyberterrorists surrounded. 337 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,883 This is it, darling. 338 00:15:36,885 --> 00:15:38,885 I've cued up the very worst-of-the-worst clips 339 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,145 to play one by one. 340 00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:43,073 When we push this button, The Simpsons dies. 341 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,492 - Together, then? - Together. 342 00:15:47,395 --> 00:15:49,988 The lies... stop... now. 343 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,656 Aah! 344 00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:53,900 I know Eddie is Ralph's father. 345 00:15:53,902 --> 00:15:56,328 Look at the hair. Look at the hair! 346 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,147 No, Clancy, I swear to you it's not true. 347 00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:02,426 My son's breath smells like cat food. 348 00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,927 Okay, you got me. 349 00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:09,057 I'll have the veal. 350 00:16:09,952 --> 00:16:13,512 The lies... stop... now! 351 00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:16,999 I did a DNA test. 352 00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,683 I'm not your son. 353 00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:20,685 Luann, how could you?! 354 00:16:20,687 --> 00:16:22,354 I'm not hers either. 355 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,931 We're not your parents? 356 00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:26,508 - All right. - Oh, thank God! 357 00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:29,077 - Yes! - Oh... 358 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:33,457 The lies... stop... now. 359 00:16:34,322 --> 00:16:35,417 Ow! 360 00:16:36,513 --> 00:16:38,962 Marge, I'm not your sister. 361 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,631 I'm... your mother. 362 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,615 But... but... wait, what? 363 00:16:42,617 --> 00:16:46,895 I was young and briefly hot. It was a different time. 364 00:16:46,897 --> 00:16:50,532 Back then, we solved things with huge lies. 365 00:16:50,534 --> 00:16:52,884 Then, who was my real father? 366 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:56,038 His name was Disco... 367 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,890 Disco... 368 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,485 Disco who? Disco Who? 369 00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:05,638 The lies... stop... now! 370 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,900 Rake-y, I'm not your real father. 371 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:12,054 And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh! 372 00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:14,957 Oh, don't turn your back on me. 373 00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:20,412 T-minus one minute to launch. 374 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:23,340 Ooh. 375 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,067 All for you, baby. 376 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:27,026 Aah! 377 00:17:27,028 --> 00:17:29,996 Aah! Aah! 378 00:17:29,998 --> 00:17:33,666 ? We are the jockeys, jockeys are we ? 379 00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:37,837 ? We live underground in a fiberglass tree. ? 380 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:39,823 Opa! 381 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:53,078 It's still me on the inside. 382 00:17:56,545 --> 00:18:00,252 Sin-ner! Sin-ner! 383 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:05,883 Oh, Homie. You're awake. 384 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,276 - What happened? - You've been in a coma 385 00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:11,221 ever since you tried to jump Springfield Gorge. 386 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,297 How long? 387 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,132 Two days ago. 388 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:17,543 Two days? But... I had so many adventures. 389 00:18:17,545 --> 00:18:19,062 More than 700. 390 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:23,125 Those were all coma dreams. None of them ever happened. 391 00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:25,385 The "B" stories, too? 392 00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:29,648 I never had a pet lobster? 393 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,742 I never went to space? 394 00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:34,986 What about the Halloweens?! 395 00:18:36,489 --> 00:18:38,564 Drop your code and move away from the Internet! 396 00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:40,158 You're both under arrest. 397 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,585 On what charge, grand theft heart? 398 00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:44,587 Conspiracy to commit to love? 399 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,665 Willfully endangering each other's loneliness? 400 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:50,260 Take one more step and I'll blow this I.P. 401 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,429 to Magic Kingdom come. 402 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:55,173 Go ahead. You've already released all the Simpsons files. 403 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,491 No one cared. 404 00:18:56,493 --> 00:18:57,750 The only people still watching that show 405 00:18:57,752 --> 00:19:00,419 are football fans who passed out with the TV on. 406 00:19:00,421 --> 00:19:03,164 I am not talking about The Simpsons. 407 00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:05,257 We've hacked into all of Disney. 408 00:19:05,259 --> 00:19:08,445 That means Star Wars, Marvel, Pixar. 409 00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,779 We've even got... 410 00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,764 Nat Geo. 411 00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,098 You monsters. 412 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,177 If I press this button, the only Hulk that exists 413 00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:17,845 will be Edward Norton. 414 00:19:17,847 --> 00:19:20,439 It'll be like Ruffalo never happened. 415 00:19:20,441 --> 00:19:21,849 You're bluffing. 416 00:19:21,851 --> 00:19:24,294 I'll delete Baby Groot, Baby Yoda, 417 00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:28,189 and their brand-new top secret character... 418 00:19:28,191 --> 00:19:29,966 Baby Jeff Goldblum. 419 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:33,194 On the one hand, uh, "goo," 420 00:19:33,196 --> 00:19:39,291 but I'd be remiss if I didn't also mention, uh, "gaa." 421 00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:40,960 Oh, my golly. 422 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,538 It's me as a baby. 423 00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,464 Good God, she's not bluffing. 424 00:19:45,466 --> 00:19:47,375 Stand down. Let 'em go. 425 00:19:47,377 --> 00:19:50,487 I'll do it. 426 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,214 Um... we now return you to your regularly 427 00:19:53,216 --> 00:19:54,807 "shed-you-uled" programming. 428 00:19:54,809 --> 00:19:55,825 Oh. 429 00:19:56,661 --> 00:19:59,904 How do you lose two children?! 430 00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:02,815 What kind of jamboree are you running here? 431 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:07,729 Yeah, you're back. 432 00:20:10,491 --> 00:20:11,582 Ew. 433 00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:14,511 When we get home, can we turn on the TV 434 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:18,664 and never, ever go outdoors again? 435 00:20:18,666 --> 00:20:21,518 - Please? - Pretty please? 436 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,854 I've never been prouder of you two. 437 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:26,264 While you were gone, 438 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,690 your mom and I almost got divorced 439 00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:29,508 over something insignificant. 440 00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:32,195 Luckily, your dad apologized. 441 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,272 Yup, I got it down at this point. 442 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,716 It's all about the eye contact. 443 00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:38,868 He knows what works. 444 00:20:52,275 --> 00:20:53,941 Maybe we didn't get the Bitcoin, 445 00:20:53,943 --> 00:20:55,610 but we've got each other. 446 00:20:55,612 --> 00:20:56,886 Oh, darling, I think we should do it, 447 00:20:56,888 --> 00:21:00,131 I think we should tell each other our real names. 448 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,707 My name is Ashley. 449 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,893 No! So is mine. 450 00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,286 - Oh... - Ashley. 451 00:21:05,288 --> 00:21:06,470 Oh, Ashley. 452 00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:09,941 - Ashley, Ashley. - Oh, oh, British Ashley. Mmm... 453 00:21:30,146 --> 00:21:31,713 Shh! 454 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,003 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 30598

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.