All language subtitles for The Simpsons 34x02 - One Angry Lisa (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,498 --> 00:00:08,841 ? Somewhere up there ? 2 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,069 ? Beyond the blue ? 3 00:00:12,071 --> 00:00:14,162 ? There's love ? 4 00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:16,331 ? For me ? 5 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,667 - ? And you. ? - Ah...! 6 00:01:02,345 --> 00:01:05,364 Oh, my gosh! It's what you thought I always wanted! 7 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,866 I do like when you have a regimen. 8 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,426 Oh. 9 00:01:09,428 --> 00:01:11,928 I can feel myself getting hotter than the other moms. 10 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:14,623 And my husband can increase the incline from the app. 11 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,213 - _ - I've never been happier. 12 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,607 I'm back to my sixth-grade weight! 13 00:01:23,609 --> 00:01:25,384 Pedalon. Because a great marriage 14 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,293 is a bike that goes nowhere. 15 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,963 Why, you... 16 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,631 You know, Homie, 17 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,042 an exercise bike would be good for someone like me 18 00:01:35,044 --> 00:01:36,711 who can barely leave the house. 19 00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:38,880 And my birthday's coming up. 20 00:01:38,882 --> 00:01:41,307 An exercise bike? Why would you want that, 21 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,551 instead of getting locked into a gym membership 22 00:01:43,553 --> 00:01:45,462 you could never use and can't cancel? 23 00:01:45,464 --> 00:01:47,130 Oh, never mind. 24 00:01:47,132 --> 00:01:50,150 Just once I'd like to get something I want. 25 00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:58,232 I'll get her the damn bike 26 00:01:58,234 --> 00:02:00,460 and anything else the TV says. 27 00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:04,814 Why, you... 28 00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:07,342 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 29 00:02:08,077 --> 00:02:10,411 One wife bike, please. 30 00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:11,746 Excellent choice, sir. 31 00:02:11,748 --> 00:02:14,340 Our starter model goes for $1,500. 32 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,660 $1,500?! 33 00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:19,345 Don't worry. We do have an installment plan. 34 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,997 $40 a month for... 35 00:02:21,949 --> 00:02:22,949 ...months. 36 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,277 That's better. 37 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,761 And at 60 bucks for the classes... 38 00:02:26,763 --> 00:02:29,114 - What the...? - ...25 for the matching water bottle... 39 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,433 - That's crazy. - ...and it's 125 for the special shoes. 40 00:02:32,435 --> 00:02:34,360 Fine, I'll take the shoes. 41 00:02:34,662 --> 00:02:37,289 Good choice. Regular laces or deluxe? 42 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,291 - Regular. - The regular cost more. 43 00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:50,117 And now for the birthday elf to work his silent magic. 44 00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:02,463 Why did I say "I'll take it from here"? 45 00:03:02,465 --> 00:03:05,041 Why do I always want to impress? 46 00:03:05,043 --> 00:03:06,226 I got it from here, guys. 47 00:03:08,714 --> 00:03:11,156 No. I'll take me from here. 48 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,737 Oh, God! 49 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,332 Assembling your bike couldn't be easier. 50 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:24,060 Step one, get your 10,000 SPM pneumatic jigsaw. 51 00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:25,078 My what? 52 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,063 Difficult. Complicated. 53 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,398 Obscenely hard. 54 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,733 Congratulations. 55 00:03:29,735 --> 00:03:31,084 You've opened the box. 56 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,511 Now, we begin. 57 00:03:36,332 --> 00:03:38,683 Son, I'm trapped. 58 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:46,942 There must be a way to get out of this gift! 59 00:03:51,423 --> 00:03:53,406 Love you, Dad. Mwah. 60 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,947 Surprise! 61 00:04:02,525 --> 00:04:04,692 It's wonderful, Homie! 62 00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:08,296 And there's one thing left I can do. 63 00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:10,104 _ 64 00:04:12,594 --> 00:04:14,886 - I'll fix that. - Just stop. 65 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:20,725 Okay. 66 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,728 "Step one, create a unique username." 67 00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,612 _ 68 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,903 Ooh, now, he looks like fun. 69 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,465 What's up, Pedalon family? 70 00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:37,725 My name is Jesse, and I care about you. 71 00:04:37,727 --> 00:04:40,470 All of you. Except for the woman on the bottom left. 72 00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:42,305 Your credit card was declined. 73 00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:44,791 Repo men are on the way! 74 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,377 No...! 75 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,547 Now let's ride. 76 00:04:57,305 --> 00:04:58,897 Oh, boy. 77 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,899 You got this, ScaredToGoToGym! 78 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,067 Way to be, EndorphinAnnie! 79 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,294 And that is the end! 80 00:05:05,296 --> 00:05:08,072 Of warm-up. Let's look alive! 81 00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:14,987 I can't. 82 00:05:14,989 --> 00:05:16,489 I can't do it. 83 00:05:17,492 --> 00:05:19,566 Don't you give up, MrsMargeSimpson! 84 00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:22,328 You're talking to me. 85 00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:23,829 Yes, I am, MrsMargeSimpson, 86 00:05:23,831 --> 00:05:26,257 and I believe in you! 87 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,260 Oh, my God. A positive online interaction. 88 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,762 Can you believe it, Alexa? 89 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,005 I'm on my break. 90 00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:36,750 And cross that finish line. 91 00:05:36,752 --> 00:05:38,603 To quote a personal hero of mine, 92 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,012 Mr. Nelson Mandela, 93 00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:43,015 it always seems impossible until it is done. 94 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:46,502 I prefer to believe that he was talking about riding a bike 95 00:05:46,504 --> 00:05:47,687 in your living room. 96 00:05:47,689 --> 00:05:49,614 Peace out! 97 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,525 Is something wrong, Mom? 98 00:05:52,527 --> 00:05:54,661 You didn't get the mail today. 99 00:05:54,662 --> 00:05:55,662 _ 100 00:05:55,663 --> 00:05:56,663 _ 101 00:05:56,664 --> 00:05:57,664 _ 102 00:05:57,665 --> 00:05:58,665 _ 103 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,016 What's this? 104 00:06:00,018 --> 00:06:02,627 Lisa, I'm in cool-down mode. Can it wait? 105 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,687 I don't want jelly legs. 106 00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:07,632 Mmm. Jelly legs. 107 00:06:13,364 --> 00:06:14,697 It's a jury summons, 108 00:06:14,699 --> 00:06:16,290 in my name! 109 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,534 Ignore it. When you're my age, 110 00:06:18,536 --> 00:06:22,054 the last thing you want to do is stay still in a box. 111 00:06:22,056 --> 00:06:25,650 Yeah, I mean, obviously, it's for another Lisa Simpson. 112 00:06:26,974 --> 00:06:28,394 It says if I throw it away, 113 00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:30,822 there's six months in prison! 114 00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:34,158 Um, is that vegan? 115 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,735 Vegan? No way. 116 00:06:35,737 --> 00:06:37,495 This is prison. 117 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,905 It's vegetarian. 118 00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,838 Honey, you got the triple "H"! 119 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,673 Homer, home and hungry! 120 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,250 Can't talk now. Jesse is freestyle rapping. 121 00:06:52,587 --> 00:06:55,496 ? It's only the first inning, heart beating, no retreating ? 122 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,089 ? Time, it is fleeting ? 123 00:06:57,091 --> 00:06:59,909 - When are we eating? - 6:00 p.m. No cheating! 124 00:06:59,911 --> 00:07:02,836 ? I'm Hamilton on a bike, Hamilton on a bike, y'all ? 125 00:07:02,838 --> 00:07:06,098 ? You drop the LBs while I drop the mic, y'all! ? 126 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,817 Yeah! 127 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,345 Oh... 128 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,033 Ooh, a high four! 129 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,368 Marge, sweetie, what does that bike give you 130 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,111 that feeding me doesn't? 131 00:07:19,113 --> 00:07:21,097 Encouragement. 132 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,450 MrsMargeSimpson, 133 00:07:24,452 --> 00:07:27,119 that is one beauteous gluteus! 134 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:31,090 I'll put a stop to this here and now. 135 00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:34,719 Backup battery activated! 136 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,630 And Marge Simpson is my biker of the week. 137 00:07:38,866 --> 00:07:40,132 Stupid Peloton! 138 00:07:40,134 --> 00:07:41,392 I mean, Pedalon! 139 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,977 Uh, you know what I mean! 140 00:07:48,888 --> 00:07:49,892 Ah... 141 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,479 MrsMargeSimpson, we're gonna play "Taps" 142 00:07:53,481 --> 00:07:55,481 because you killed it today. 143 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,110 And riding to "Taps." 144 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,428 And a one, and a two, and a go! 145 00:08:02,484 --> 00:08:05,188 Marge, you've been sitting on that thing all day. 146 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,767 Why don't you take a walk? 147 00:08:06,769 --> 00:08:08,177 Get a little exercise. 148 00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:10,604 Wait a minute, "Marge in Charge"? 149 00:08:10,606 --> 00:08:12,456 What happened to Mrs. Marge Simpson? 150 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,367 I'm just getting tired of the same old things. 151 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,961 Like my last name? 152 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,130 That was my gift to you at our wedding. 153 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:22,708 It's just a user name. You're overreacting. 154 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:23,801 Oh, am I? 155 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,952 Am I overreacting to my wife 156 00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:28,213 being taken in by a cult? 157 00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:30,883 It's not a cult. It's just a group of people 158 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,793 improving their lives, paying money, 159 00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:35,855 and slavishly following a charismatic leader. 160 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,526 Ah. Boy, do I love drinking that Kool-Aid. 161 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,861 _ 162 00:08:52,223 --> 00:08:55,649 Um, excuse me, there's been a mistake. 163 00:08:55,651 --> 00:08:57,743 Yeah, that's what they all say. 164 00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,080 No, really. I should not be on a jury. 165 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,415 Well, no one wants to be on a jury. 166 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,417 But I have a valid excuse. I'm... 167 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:06,993 Ugh, I'm so sick of this. 168 00:09:06,995 --> 00:09:09,013 People say their work is too important, 169 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,831 or they have a vacation planned, 170 00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:13,092 or they hate cops, or they love cops, 171 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,594 or they're secretly eight years old. 172 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,746 But I am only eight years old. 173 00:09:17,748 --> 00:09:19,190 Just ignore that magazine, 174 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,341 and please take a good look at me. 175 00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:24,362 What eight-year-old wears pearls? 176 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:28,032 You're being non-responsive and borderline fascist. 177 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,350 So you claim you're eight years old, 178 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:32,778 and you're using language like that? 179 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,831 Excuse denied! Get out of my face. 180 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,826 - One, two, one, two, one... - Marge, Marge. Marge! 181 00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:50,779 - Ah! - You were pedaling in your sleep. 182 00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,114 Good. Good. 183 00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:54,541 Jesse says the only bad workout is the one 184 00:09:54,543 --> 00:09:55,709 that doesn't happen. 185 00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:59,805 You brought Jesse into our bedroom. 186 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,882 Oh, sweetie, don't worry. 187 00:10:01,884 --> 00:10:03,901 Yes, I may dream about him, 188 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,811 spend most of my day with him, 189 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:09,481 use up half our disposable income on him. 190 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:12,058 But I'm married to you, Jesse. 191 00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:14,728 Homer! Homer, Homer. I'm married to Homer. 192 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:17,397 Now, let's get to Jesse. Sleep. Sleep. 193 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:20,459 Homer. Oh... Mmm. 194 00:10:20,461 --> 00:10:21,752 Okay. 195 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:27,425 - What is that? - Uh, it's a Pedalon pillow scent. 196 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,427 What's it called? 197 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:33,472 Um, "Sweat Dreams, by Jesse." 198 00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:39,328 Fine. I'm going to Moe's. 199 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,997 Where the only exercise you get is lifting a mug. 200 00:10:41,999 --> 00:10:44,090 Sometimes Moe helps with that, too. 201 00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:47,594 That's my big boy. Only five more to go. 202 00:10:47,596 --> 00:10:49,596 That's my little drinker. 203 00:10:49,598 --> 00:10:50,673 Aww. 204 00:10:50,675 --> 00:10:52,933 Homer, what gives? It's only Tuesday, 205 00:10:52,935 --> 00:10:54,843 and you're drinking like it's a Thursday. 206 00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:56,528 I got nothing to go home to except 207 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,747 except my incredibly fit wife. 208 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,609 I think she has a thing for her ride instructor. 209 00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:03,702 Eh, don't worry. 210 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,579 Those guys are losers in real life. 211 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,131 Let me check out what they make. 212 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,025 $500,000? 213 00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:12,027 I wish I was a ride instructor. 214 00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,305 Yeah, me, too. Except for the bike riding, 215 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,031 and saying encouraging things. 216 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,383 And I'm not allowed to appear on the Internet 217 00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,794 without a big dot in front of my face. 218 00:11:20,796 --> 00:11:22,629 Wow, that is an improvement. 219 00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,924 Sure is gonna be hard to go back to "No-Dot" Moe. 220 00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:27,151 Just for that, I'll turn on 221 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:30,178 - the really harsh lighting. - Turn it off. 222 00:11:30,908 --> 00:11:33,470 Why can't she be happy with the other instructors? 223 00:11:33,505 --> 00:11:36,810 Like Vivica, or Jen S. Or even Jen R.? 224 00:11:36,812 --> 00:11:38,554 Why always Jesse? 225 00:11:38,556 --> 00:11:40,331 Oh, did you say Jesse? 226 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,559 - Jesse of Pedalon? - You guys know him? 227 00:11:43,561 --> 00:11:45,318 He is a damnation. 228 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,821 Hey, you kiss your cross with that mouth? 229 00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:49,414 I know what I said. 230 00:11:49,416 --> 00:11:53,511 I could do laps in his deep blue eyes, that jerk. 231 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,256 Would you listen to yourselves? 232 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,850 Complaining that your wives found a healthy hobby. 233 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:03,562 I'm ashamed to be drinking till 2:00 a.m. with all of youse. 234 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,858 All rise for juror selection. 235 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:12,029 She looks understanding. 236 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,866 Christmas gift. 237 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,609 Now, listen here. 238 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,519 Jurors will only be released 239 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,263 for the most serious of reasons. 240 00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:23,949 Tell you what, if you get me out of this, 241 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,117 we could have coffee. 242 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,119 Your Honor, we should both be excused. 243 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,454 As a newsman who's seen too much, 244 00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:31,656 I can't possibly be objective. 245 00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:32,775 What about her? 246 00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:35,219 - She's my plus-one. - Aww. 247 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:39,298 Do you have any objections to losing these... jurors? 248 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,309 Ah, well, they're the only jurors I like. 249 00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:46,622 Oh, boy. Aw, geez. 250 00:12:46,624 --> 00:12:47,940 Don't type that part. 251 00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:50,568 And don't type the part where I said, "Don't type that part." 252 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,885 Ah, she's typing it. 253 00:12:51,887 --> 00:12:53,979 You know, I think I'm gonna win this case. 254 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,298 Oh, now she stops typing. 255 00:12:57,102 --> 00:12:58,826 Jurors six and eight are excused. 256 00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:01,895 This place makes no sense. 257 00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:03,332 You're telling me? 258 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,731 I'm on this jury while I am 259 00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:07,084 simultaneously in prison. 260 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,329 Personal best, WineMomNoMore. 261 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,498 Big deal, the instructor talks to you. 262 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,908 Marge in Charge. 263 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,744 That's me, that's me, that's me. 264 00:13:17,746 --> 00:13:19,430 I'd like to see you after class. 265 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,598 Meet me in the... 266 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,341 Cool Down Lounge. 267 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,583 Hmm? 268 00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,585 Marge, I've been watching you, 269 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:26,829 and I would like to invite you 270 00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:28,254 for a private ride. 271 00:13:32,837 --> 00:13:35,261 A personal experience, you and me alone. 272 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:36,855 The world is our bike lane. 273 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:40,100 You mean the two of us in the same place? 274 00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:41,285 Oh, no. God, no. No. 275 00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:42,861 The same way we've always done it. 276 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,363 You on your bike and me on mine. 277 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,849 My motives are pure. Ha. 278 00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:48,367 Well, Marge? 279 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,127 ? Just the two of us ? 280 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,963 ? We can make it if we try ? 281 00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:54,965 This makes me feel a little odd, 282 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,800 but again, the only bad workout 283 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,377 is the one you don't do. 284 00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,862 You got that right. 285 00:13:59,864 --> 00:14:01,380 I thought I shut this off. 286 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,532 Uh, there's a five minute "secret listen." 287 00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:05,291 Y-You have to opt out. 288 00:14:10,298 --> 00:14:11,398 Here we go. 289 00:14:13,043 --> 00:14:15,277 You've got something to say, say it. 290 00:14:17,999 --> 00:14:19,265 Nap time. 291 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,206 And when you found the victim lying carved up 292 00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:30,192 like a spiral-cut ham, 293 00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:31,635 you took this photo. 294 00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:34,045 Yeah, but see how I got the full moon 295 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,031 reflecting in the pool of blood? 296 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,957 And that's just using the iPhone 10, 297 00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,977 not the good one. Amazing. 298 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,627 Can you believe this? 299 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:44,464 Longest Judge Judy I've ever seen. 300 00:14:45,197 --> 00:14:46,466 This is not a TV show, 301 00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,819 and we are not a studio audience. 302 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:52,638 And little jurors should be seen and not heard. 303 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,992 _ 304 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,229 Welcome to the Private Ride. 305 00:15:07,231 --> 00:15:10,323 Just you and your instructor. 306 00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:12,825 We'll just send that to voice mail. 307 00:15:18,575 --> 00:15:20,575 That means thank you for joining me. 308 00:15:20,577 --> 00:15:23,002 Today our pedal odyssey will take us on 309 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:24,837 - the Great Wall of China. - _ 310 00:15:24,839 --> 00:15:28,358 So sit back, enjoy, and... 311 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,861 That means remember to hydrate. 312 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,925 Behold the wonders of China. 313 00:15:36,927 --> 00:15:38,276 Bitcoin mines, 314 00:15:38,278 --> 00:15:41,780 forced labor camps where children make smartphones, 315 00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:44,432 and romance. 316 00:15:45,435 --> 00:15:47,711 Marge, I know we've had a tough few weeks, 317 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,121 but I'm really gonna make an effort to be good 318 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,364 till you're not mad. 319 00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:53,216 Then I'll go back to the way I was. 320 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,959 That's it, feel the burn. 321 00:15:54,961 --> 00:15:57,304 Feel you, feel me. 322 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:02,041 Let's take him down. 323 00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:03,618 You got to be more specific, Homer. 324 00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,729 We hate lots of guys in this bar. 325 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,214 I know who he means. Jesse. 326 00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,549 If we did have sex, 327 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,793 my wife would be thinking of him. 328 00:16:11,795 --> 00:16:14,629 And hypothetically, I'd be furious. 329 00:16:14,631 --> 00:16:17,056 When that guy tried to steal Marge, 330 00:16:17,058 --> 00:16:20,059 he woke the wrong sleeping fatso. 331 00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:22,320 I just have to find him. 332 00:16:22,322 --> 00:16:24,155 I can tell you where he is. 333 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,248 What? How? 334 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,524 You know how the Church says 335 00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:29,068 we don't share any information? 336 00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,996 It's a lie. Google bought us six years ago, 337 00:16:31,998 --> 00:16:34,407 so here you are. 338 00:16:35,393 --> 00:16:38,929 I'm gonna put a foot-shaped dent in his beautiful ass. 339 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,080 Defense, closing statement. 340 00:16:41,082 --> 00:16:43,082 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 341 00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:44,935 consider everything you've seen, 342 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,011 and beyond a shadow of a doubt, 343 00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:49,180 you will vote guilty. 344 00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:51,090 You're the not guilty guy. 345 00:16:51,092 --> 00:16:52,943 Uh, wha-what? 346 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,336 Gol-dang it. 347 00:16:54,338 --> 00:16:56,338 Now, if there are no further statements... 348 00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:57,763 I have a statement. 349 00:16:57,765 --> 00:16:59,265 This is highly irregular, 350 00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:01,343 but I'm very bored, so I'll allow it. 351 00:17:01,345 --> 00:17:03,954 Thank you. I didn't want to be on this jury. 352 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,438 I didn't think I was mature enough 353 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,106 to decide a criminal case. 354 00:17:07,108 --> 00:17:10,352 But after seeing the nonsense that goes on in this courtroom, 355 00:17:10,354 --> 00:17:12,687 well, you should be ashamed. 356 00:17:12,689 --> 00:17:15,298 And, Your Honor, I find you guilty 357 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,526 of criminal indifference and playing Wordle 358 00:17:18,528 --> 00:17:19,952 on the bench. 359 00:17:19,954 --> 00:17:22,547 "Bench." That's what it is. 360 00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:25,049 Ah, juror number six. Lisa Simpson. 361 00:17:25,051 --> 00:17:26,309 Yes, Judge? 362 00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:29,128 I find you in contempt of court. 363 00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:30,796 Bailiff, take her away. 364 00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:33,920 Now the forewoman is gonna be the Crazy Cat Lady. 365 00:17:33,955 --> 00:17:35,418 I want to take a vote. 366 00:17:35,453 --> 00:17:36,985 No, too soon! Take a vote... 367 00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:40,448 Kitty's going to... What was it? Guilty, guilty. 368 00:17:42,569 --> 00:17:45,874 And that leaves 11 jurors. It's a mistrial. 369 00:17:45,909 --> 00:17:47,408 The defendant can go free. 370 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:52,376 Uh, excuse me, private riders, 371 00:17:52,378 --> 00:17:53,970 I have a guy at the door. 372 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,196 Yes, may I help you? 373 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,813 You like that? You like that, fatty? 374 00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:06,541 Okay, so when strangling a man, don't just 375 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,818 use your arms, people, engage that core. 376 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:11,321 Engage. Engage. 377 00:18:12,072 --> 00:18:15,307 I'll die as I lived... 378 00:18:15,309 --> 00:18:17,327 failing and sweaty. 379 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:19,662 Let him go. Let him go. 380 00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:21,748 Oh, I've got to save Homie. 381 00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,712 Damn it! 382 00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:35,403 Oh, it's so hard to ride without a screen to look at. 383 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,998 Muscle memory. Muscle memory. 384 00:18:45,765 --> 00:18:47,023 Cool. 385 00:18:55,775 --> 00:18:57,992 Whoa! 386 00:19:03,858 --> 00:19:05,449 Aw, screw it. 387 00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:09,028 Whoa, was that your mom? 388 00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:11,773 In a million years my mom would not be that cool. 389 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,383 Bart, be home by 6:00. 390 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,409 Well, if it's not your mom, 391 00:19:15,411 --> 00:19:17,295 she stole her catchphrase. 392 00:19:22,877 --> 00:19:26,563 You're having a thing with my wife. 393 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,898 Dude, she doesn't even know where I live. 394 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,025 You get away from my husband. 395 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,796 I thought you said it was a private ride. 396 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,739 Well, you should have read the terms and conditions 397 00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,741 before you checked "agree," huh? 398 00:19:41,395 --> 00:19:43,638 That's enough, bub. 399 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,565 That's it, Marge, work those quads. 400 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,993 I'm tired of men telling me what to do. 401 00:19:57,578 --> 00:20:00,079 Homer, let's go home. 402 00:20:00,081 --> 00:20:01,580 Be sure to rate your ride, 403 00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:03,766 and use Jesse32 for special discounts 404 00:20:03,768 --> 00:20:05,176 in our online store. 405 00:20:05,178 --> 00:20:09,254 Not valid without any other discount codes. 406 00:20:09,256 --> 00:20:12,108 Once again I have to thank you for saving me 407 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:14,259 when I failed at saving you. 408 00:20:14,261 --> 00:20:17,672 ? Just the two of us ? 409 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,765 ? We can make it if we try ? 410 00:20:19,767 --> 00:20:21,618 ? Just the two of us ? 411 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,695 ? Just the two of us ? 412 00:20:24,697 --> 00:20:26,623 ? Just the two of us ? 413 00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:30,109 - ? Building castles in the sky ? - _ 414 00:20:30,111 --> 00:20:32,128 ? Just the two of us ? 415 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,464 ? You and I. ? 416 00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,860 Is that my bike? 417 00:20:50,223 --> 00:20:52,464 I'm interested in buying a bike. 418 00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:54,558 Well, you have come to the right place. 419 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,468 I'll take it from here. 420 00:20:57,837 --> 00:20:59,638 I used to make 500 grand a year. 421 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,991 And I used to be king of South Jersey. 422 00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:05,495 My big mistake was moving into Middlesex County. 423 00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:08,665 Why did I get so cocky? Stupid, stupid, stupid! 424 00:21:29,929 --> 00:21:31,813 Shh! 425 00:21:34,014 --> 00:21:36,883 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 29264

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