Original subtitles

? Good morning ? ? Good morning ?

? Good morning ? ? Good morning ?

- Peter? - Peter?

Peter? Peter?

- Peter? Hey, Peter? - What's happened to Peter?

Well, uh, he's probably not back from his dream yet.

Impossible, man; Peter doesn't dream.

Oh. Well, in that case, he's gone.

He's gone!

Uh, uh, uh, did anybody leave the room?

- No. - I mean we'll search the premises.

Right.

We meet back here at oh eight hundred hours.

Right.

Okay, guys. Let's go. Come on.

Hu-hu-okay, guys. Let's go. Come on.

Hu-hu-is-is it oh eight hundred already?

- Yeah, right. It is. - No, it's not oh eight hundred.

- Quick, quick. Downstairs. - Downstairs.

It's not oh eight hundred. It's not oh eight hundred.

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter!

- Peter? - I'm telling you-

Peter?

- Peter! - Well, where-where-where-

- Peter? - could he be? Peter?

- Peter? - Peter?

Hey, Pete. Ho, Pete. Hey, Pete.

Hey, look, guys. My bass drum I thought I lost.

Micky. Micky, will you not worry about that? Will you look for Peter? It's more impor-

Man, I have. I have. I can't find him. Did you find him?

Well, then there's only one thing left to do, you know.

You don't mean!

I do mean. Well, I can see you've come to the right place.

I'm the lost and found man here, I-

Yes! I lost Peter Tork. Have you seen him?

You know it's odd you should mention that. I was just looking for him myself.

Did you find him?

No, I'm sad to report I didn't.

Well, that was our last resort. I guess there's no hope now.

Peter's gone. He's gone. Davy, did you find Peter?

No, I didn't find him. I saw the old wooden Indian sitting in the middle of the floor,

and th-and there's another funny looking statue sitting on the chair down there.

- What are you talking about? - A statue?

- Yeah. - What statue? That's Peter.

That's not a statue; that's Peter.

- Peter! Woo hoo! Pete! - Are you-

Look! It looks like that TV has put him in some kind of trance.

Don't be silly. That's nothing but a test p-p-pattern.

Uh, Mike, are you sure it's a test p-pattern?

Wait a minute.

Mike, are you sure it's a-hey-d-Mike-ah!

Wow! What was that?

Man, I don't know. It was weird.

That's not a test pattern. It was unbelievable.

You're telling me it was unbelievable, and you think that was something?

You ought to see what happens after the commercial.

Uh huh?

Well, there's this weird guy named Wizard Glick-

Wizard Glick?

who's really evil, and then the people who live next door are all in trances too.

What happens to the people who live next door?

Oh, it's incredible. We go out and save the world as usual.

Here we come Walkin' down the street

We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around

But we're too busy singing To put anybody down

We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play

We're the young generation And we've got something to say

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found

So you better get ready,

We may be comin' to your town

The Monkees brought to you by Kellogg's

K-E double L, O double good,

Kellogg's best to you

Hey, Ms. Parker? Sally Parker? Hello? Hi!

Yeah, hi! We came over to see-

Hi. Mr. Parker, we wanted to ask you about-

Mr. Parker and Mrs. Parker's daughter Sally, how you d-huh! Micky.

Ms. Parker? Ms. Pa-

Micky, I think this thing's got a hold of everybody.

- We'd better check the neighbors. - Right.

I say, Micky, I think this thing's got a hold of everybody.

We'd better go check the neighbors.

- Micky, will you come on?! - Ah!

Nyles! Oh, no! Has the TV got you too?

What TV? Man, I'm always like this.

Oh.

Hey, let's get to the TV station, man, and find out what's going on.

We're inside. We're inside.

Hey, look, there's a stagehand.

Yeah!

Hey, mister. W-what's going-

Mister?

Oh. This is weird.

This is unbelievable.

Everybody's like that.

What kind of a, of a warped, maniacal mind could be plotting such a conspiracy?

It's working! Ha ha ha!

Oh, that kind of a warped mind.

- Oh, yeah, that guy was weird. - With a hat and a cape and a-

This looks like a job for-

Monkeemen!

Quick, men. The phonebooth! Let's change.

- Hold it. - What? What?

Look at that. "Federal law W-four-four-three paragraph seven prohibits the use of

any public phonebooth for the purpose

of changing into or out of secret identities."

But if we don't change into our secret identities,

the entire television audience is doomed!

Hey, look, look, look. It's the heat.

The heat! The fuzz! The fuzz! Ah! Copper! Don't hit me!

We-we didn't need to change anyway, did we?

I didn't need to change. Did you need to change?

- No, no. - Get out, Mike. He's coming.

They might come. I didn't need to change either.

Get out of there. The thing at the top. Okay, easy.

Pull your, pull your. This side? You got it? Okay. Let's go.

My maniacally warped plan is almost complete. Ha ha ha. At last.

And soon, it will be twelve o'clock. Huh huh. Could you die?

And they will, ha ha ha, and then I will throw the main power switch,

which will activate the magnetic freeble energizer, ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha! And that'll release the incredible power of the Frodis,

and with the aid of my villainous henchmen-

- Rr! - Rr!

I can control the minds of millions!

Sieg Heil!

Hey, boss. Look at this.

Look at this, Your Royal Wizardry.

Oh, you've got something?

Not you, dumb-dumb, me! Now, what is it? My goodness!

Well, it's the Monkeemen monitor. It ain't been activated for five years.

Those incredible swine!

Not swine, monkeys.

Bah! They dare try the bastions of my citadel? Huh huh.

You mean, they're coming here?

Correction. They think they're coming here.

We'll end it before it even begins.

Quick, release the two-headed org. Heh heh heh.

? Hello, hello ?

- Ah! - What, what, what?

A two-headed org!

Oh, that's no problem-a two-headed org!?

What'll we do? What'll we do?

Uh, we'll look it up in the Monkeeman-man-man-

- What? The what? - The book-

with the instructions in it!

Oh, yeah, the book. Right. The Monkeemen guide

says here, uh, a three-headed gleeb, a six-eyed creebage.

- No, no. - Three, uh, thighed snark.

- No. - Six-headed org.

- No. - Four-headed org.

- Ah, two-headed org. - Yeah, that's it!

Well, what does it say to do?

Oh, yeah! To dispose of a two-headed org, uh,

jump up and down three times, roll a head of cabbage, and giggle.

- I see. Okay. - One, two, three.

Ay!

? Ding dong, the org is dead ? ? The wicked org ?

? The org is dead ? ? Ding dong- ?

Curses! However. Heh heh, curses! However, I shan't be dismayed.

Send out the TV repair troops; they've never failed us yet.

? - Hello, hello ? - Hey, look!

What a great looking cardboard box!

- Yeah. - It is groovy.

It's smashing.

? Wonder, wonder, wonder. ?

Hey, wait a minute, guys. You know what?

It's seven thirty, six thirty central time.

It's time for The Monkees.

I wonder if anybody around here's got a television set.

It's no use. We'll never be able to stop them.

You know, we're never gonna be able to get loose.

Ah, man, if we could only get in touch with somebody.

- How about Peter? - Yeah!

- No, he's at the pad. - Ah-mental telepathy.

Yeah!

Oh, you mean that psychedelic stuff?

Yeah, all the groups are doing it.

You know, psycho jello.

- How does it work? - Well, I don't know.

- Oh, I do. - Yeah?

Listen, we got to concentrate real hard on Peter-

Okay.

and now we gotta repeat this chant that I learned.

Yeah, oh-a chant you learned while studying transcendental

meditation under an Indian mystic, right? That's it, I'll bet.

- No, no. - It's not?

It's a chant I learned when I sent in a cereal box top.

Well, that makes a whole lot more sense.

- Oh, yeah. - Right. Sure.

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ? ? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ? ? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ? ? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

This is incredible. I feel as though I were being impelled to

move by a chant from the transcendental meditations of an Indian mystic.

No, Peter. It's a chant I got with a cereal box top.

Oh.

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ? ? It's working. It's working. ?

? How do you know? ? ? How do you know? ?

? I saw the last scene ? ? I saw the last scene ?

Yeah ha ha ha ha! Another one of the insidious Monkees comes.

Ha ha ha. He shan't best me.

I'm ready for his most cunning trickery. Huh huh.

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

Here he comes. Ha ha, ha ha!

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

He's coming around the corner. Ha ha ha, ha ha!

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

He's hustling a chick. Ha ha ha.

? hum back hum ?

Right to my front door.

May I help you?

I am receiving a telepathic message to report to the television studio.

Nah, ha ha! Fine, step this way.

That's sure some chant you got there, Micky.

Yeah, I thought you said it came with a guarantee.

Well, uh, yeah, it does come with a guarantee.

However, it only covers the chanters, not the chantee.

Look, look. A telephone. I'm gonna call the police and get help.

But you don't-wait a minute. You don't need-

Wait, I'll get the telephone.

But wait a minute, Pete-

Hello, hello, police? Police, we're being held captive behind the Mammoth

TV Studios by these weird people who are gonna take over the world.

You got to come and save-

Peter, you don't need to-

You've got to come and save us.

He's bouncing all over the-

Yeah. Thanks!

Peter, will you please-

Now, what was it?

What it was was that I was gonna tell you that I'm untied.

- I could have done all that. - Oh.

Now we can get outta here, but we still got to foil

the evil Glick and his evil plan. What'll do we do?

Don't worry, Micky. I have an unbeatable plan.

Yeah, ha ha ha ha! I'll press the freeble energizer button there.

Ah! It's working. It's working. Ah! Fix the wire quickly.

I'll have-the readout time button needs pressing there.

Ah ha! It's working. The solar power-

Alright. This is The Monkees.

Ah!

You are completely surrounded.

Do not attempt to reach for your weapons.

Do not attempt to move.

Do not even attempt to write home.

Dah!

Wait, boss. We ain't licked yet. I know a way we can still get free.

Well, what is it? Quickly, what?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ? ? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

? Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

- I got it! ? - Nam-myoho-renge-kyo ?

By George, he's got it!

Okay, that's good, fellas, but we've still got some work to do.

We've got, uh, what's his name over there?

Glick.

Right, Glick. Let's do it again.

- Still rolling. - Okay.

Curses!

Okay, that's good, fellas, but we've still got some work to do.

We've got Glick out of the way, but the machine's still going.

We've got to find the hypnotic Frodis and put it out of business.

Well, at least we got these villains.

Right.

Alright, don't anybody move. We've got you all covered.

- Boy, are we glad to see you. - Yeah.

We came as soon as we got your call. We'll have you out of the ropes in no time.

Well, wait! There's been a terrible mistake!

I'll say there has. You're the one that made it.

What?

Trying to take over the world, huh?

- Wait- - Wait, you don't-

You tell that to the judge.

Now, wait a minute. You don't-

Come on, you weirdos. Let's get going.

- No, you don't understand. - Come on.

- No, wait. It wasn't us. - Out, out, out.

Ah, heh heh heh. They're such bad kids. Marvelous. They're villainous.

I hate them. You did right by taking them away. Huh, I didn't do a thing.

I'm innocent, you can see. It's nothing at all. Huh huh hm.

Separate checks, please. Ah ha ha! Heh heh heh. Faster, dumb-dumb.

You've got to help us, officers! There's no time left.

I don't need a ???. Hey, it's eight thirty, seven thirty central.

Time for Dragnet. Anybody got a TV set around here?

There's one in that window, officer.

Come on. Let's go save the world.

Peter-

Peter! Oh, he's frozen. Come on. Excuse me, officer, I-

Oh, his arm's caught. Okay. Now that's cool.

We made it.

Oh.

Now, to foil the plot of the evil Wizard Glick.

We made it awfully easy.

You don't suppose this could be some kind of a trick, do ya?

It was some kind of a trick.

We've got to find some way to get those keys to undo the handcuffs.

Ooh, I got a plan.

Yep?

Yeah. Pardon me-I say, uh, pardon me, sir. Uh, could you, uh.

I say, excuse me, kind sir, would you be interested in, uh. I-hey, buddy?

Yeah? W-what do you want?

Well, what we want is-is we want to know if you'd like to indulge in a little game of chance-

- Yeah. - with my comrades and I here?

What do we play?

Well, anything you want, really, heh.

Well, I don't have any money.

Well, we don't have to play for money. We could play for the gun or the table-

Anything.

-or the filing cabinet. We can even play for your keys.

Yeah.

Yeah, the keys!

No. Couldn't play for the keys.

Not even for this lifelike statue?

Yeah, yeah.

Gee. That is really something. I guess we could play a couple of hands.

Oh, we'll get the table over here, and you sit right there and take it easy.

Oh, wait a minute. We don't have any cards.

Cards? Did you say cards? I have cards.

Oh!

- Wanna play poker? - Well-

Pinochle? Want to play a little stud?

Yeah, well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Uh.

Listen, on second thought, we didn't want to play that.

No. No, uh, what-uh, you see, what we, what we wanted to play was, um, uh-

Creebage.

Creebage? How do you play creebage?

- Creebage. He doesn't know how- - You're putting me on.

Never played creebage.

Oh ha ha! We know how to play creebage. Sure. The cards?

- This is all the cards. - All the cards there.

Now then, you'll see here that you've dealt me a ten of diamonds and a, uh, king of clubs, there.

I have a kleemen aza furb, and you have a super crab.

Here is a thunub.

- You have crab. - Furnub.

- Now, we can do a peer. - Don't have to shuffle them.

- One more card. - Let's see what you got.

One more card. Ah! A creebage. A creebage. Oh, we won. ???

- I have a creebage too. - Now, wait.

- Keys. Keys. Keys. - But I don't understand.

- Keys. Keys. - Thank you.

Sorry about that. Listen, it was wonderful playing with you, buddy.

- We had creebages. - thurn and a stanticket-

- you'd have been much better off. - But it was.

- But you didn't have the crab. - But I have a creebage.

Thanks a lot for the playing cards, man.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Thank you so much.

But I have- I have a creebage!

Okay. Open the door. Come on. Oh, wait! He's hung up. Okay. In a minute.

And hold it. Mick, set him down just a second. Now, look, guys.

He's got hung up seven times coming down the hall.

We're just gonna have to lean him up here against the door and come back later.

It's a good idea. It's a good idea.

Stand him up. Stand him up.

- Please hurry. - Fine.

- Yeah, that's cool. - Okay. Let's go.

Ah! Ah! Fellas, ah! Ah!

We need something to hang him up on.

How about this coat rack?

- Great! - Terrific.

Great! His arm up here.

There you go. Oh, we're away! We did it. We did it. I knew we'd do it. We did it.

Wait-w-w-wait what are we looking for?

Ah, we're looking for the Frodis Room. We've got to destroy the eye and save the world.

Listen, with all these doors, we're never gonna be able to find the Frodis Room.

Yeah, Frodis Room!

Woo!

Ah! There it is! The Frodis!

Quick, we can destroy it and save the world! I got the pea shooter.

- What do you mean, pea shooter? - I got the peas. I got the peas.

The pea shooter! You've got the peas? Peas, now, quick! We got it. Oh, we got the peas.

- Ready? - Now, make this good, Mike-

Yeah.

-'cause we only got one pea left. Ready? Loaded?

- Loaded! - Ready.

- Ready. - Aim!

- Fire! - Wait!

- Wait? - Wait, please.

Ah!

I am friendly.

The evil Wizard Glick captured me when my spaceship landed on Earth.

He is using my Frodis power to control men's minds through his machines.

I must get back to my ship and recharge my Frodis energy

and undo the evil that has been done. You must help me escape.

- We were gonna kill it. - We'll help you.

Thank you.

I promise! I-I can't stand to see a grown bush cry!

Oh ho huh huh! Ready? Here we go! Ready?

Ah!

The king of Zor, he called for war

And the king of Zam, he answered.

They fashioned their weapons one upon one

Ton upon ton,

they called for war at the rise of the sun.

Out went the call to one and to all

That echoed and rolled like the thunder.

Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar More upon more.

Rolling the call of "Come now to war."

Throughout the night they fashioned their might

With right on the side of the mighty.

They puzzled their minds plan upon plan Man upon man

And at dying of dawn the great war began.

They met on the battlefield banner in hand.

They looked out across the vacant land.

And they counted the missing, one upon one,

None upon none.

The war it was over before it begun.

Two little kings playing a game.

They gave a war and nobody came.

And nobody came.

And nobody gone. And nobody gone.

Hurry Come on! Quick! They're coming up the hill!

- Oh! - Come on! Here they come.

Hurry up! What you doing in there?

I'm charging as fast as I can.

Quick! Here they come. Hurry up, Frodis!

Yeah, yeah! Hey! Yay! Come on out here.

I don't want to fight anymore, huh huh huh huh huh.

I just want to lay down in the grass and be cool.

Oh! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Peter!

Peter! Peter's okay! Yay! Yeah! Come on out here!

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, hoo hoo hoo!

Frodis, baby!

This is Tim Buckley.

Long afloat on shipless oceans

I did all my best to smile

'Til your singing eyes and fingers

Drew me loving to your isle

And you sang Sail to me,

Sail to me Let me enfold you

Here I am, here I am

Waiting to hold you

Did I dream, you dreamed about me?

Were you here when I was full sail?

Now my foolish boat is leaning

Broken lovelorn on your rocks

For you sing Touch me not,

touch me not Come back tomorrow

Oh, my heart Oh, my heart

Shies from the sorrow

I'm as puzzled as the oyster

I'm as troubled at the tide

Should I stand amid the breakers?

Or should I lie with death my bride?

Hear me sing Swim to me,

swim to me Let me enfold you

Here I am, here I am

Waiting to hold you

In this generation In this lovin' time

In this generation We will make the world shine

We were born to love one another This is somethin', we all need

We were born to love one another We must be what we're goin' to be

And what we have to be, is free

Love is understandin' We gotta be free

Love is understandin' We gotta be free

We gotta be free

We gotta be free