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1
00:00:02,868 --> 00:00:05,011
Las Vegas, pleasure
capital of the world.
2
00:00:05,211 --> 00:00:08,708
Where each man seeks the
things he loves most.
3
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:10,628
The things he loves most.
4
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:13,884
The things he loves most.
But all is not fun
5
00:00:14,084 --> 00:00:16,284
and games in the gambling
capital of the world.
6
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:20,018
While some pursue their
pleasures, others pursue their greed.
7
00:00:20,218 --> 00:00:22,300
A hideaway on the other side of town.
8
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,108
Alright, we've been planning this
caper for three years, right?
9
00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:26,014
- Right.
- Right.
10
00:00:26,214 --> 00:00:29,470
At exactly seven fifty-four,
you march into the casino, right?
11
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:30,079
- Right.
- Right.
12
00:00:30,279 --> 00:00:32,533
And the wheel has been
automatically fixed to land
13
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,328
at sixteen red for five minutes
starting at eight o'clock, right?
14
00:00:36,528 --> 00:00:36,974
- Right.
- Right.
15
00:00:37,174 --> 00:00:38,671
Okay, go ahead.
16
00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:39,471
- Right.
- Wrong.
17
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:40,818
- Wrong?
- Right.
18
00:00:41,018 --> 00:00:42,124
- Where did I go wrong?
- When you went right.
19
00:00:42,324 --> 00:00:44,108
Boss, you sure make a lot of sense.
20
00:00:44,308 --> 00:00:44,864
- Right.
- Right.
21
00:00:45,064 --> 00:00:46,491
- No, left.
- Left.
22
00:00:46,691 --> 00:00:47,289
Hey, uh, boss, are you coming?
23
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:51,218
- No, they'd recognize me.
- Right.
24
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,145
Ah, Zelda, I knew the
first time I saw you,
25
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:54,747
it was love at first sight.
26
00:00:54,947 --> 00:00:57,369
Tell me how much you love me.
27
00:00:57,569 --> 00:00:58,913
Two oranges and a banana.
28
00:00:59,113 --> 00:01:02,612
Two oranges and a banana. Nothing
will stand in the way of our love.
29
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,349
It'll go on, onward and onward
through life. Hand in hand with-
30
00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:08,308
Two lemons and a crabapple.
31
00:01:08,508 --> 00:01:11,829
Two lemons and a crabapple.
Zelda, I don't have any more money.
32
00:01:12,029 --> 00:01:14,566
Buzz off, Charlie. Whoa.
33
00:01:14,766 --> 00:01:18,879
"Buzz off, Charlie"?!
Ga-za!
34
00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:26,982
Hey, you hit a jackpot!
35
00:01:27,182 --> 00:01:27,573
Oh.
36
00:01:27,773 --> 00:01:30,586
Oh! You've got magic fingers.
37
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:34,764
Mwah mwah mwah! Oh,
I love you, love you!
38
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,351
I thought she only
loved me for my money.
39
00:01:40,775 --> 00:01:45,646
Here we come
Walkin' down the street
40
00:01:45,846 --> 00:01:51,439
We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet
41
00:01:51,639 --> 00:01:56,874
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
42
00:01:57,074 --> 00:02:02,894
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
43
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:08,627
We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play
44
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:14,517
We're the young generation
And we've got something to say
45
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:20,240
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
You never know where we'll be found
46
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,814
So you better get ready,
47
00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:27,040
We may be comin' to your town
48
00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:39,083
Money, money.
49
00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:41,659
Micky. You told me you
wouldn't gamble anymore.
50
00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:42,835
Oh, right.
51
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:44,795
Come on, man. We gotta go play
a job. Will you, please?
52
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:47,060
Eight o'clock.
Eight o'clock.
53
00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:52,339
Honest, Mike, when I promised you that,
I would've given you odds. Honest, Mike-
54
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,593
- No more bets.
- I didn't have any more money,
55
00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:54,930
and then all of a sudden,
there was money all over the place.
56
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:57,836
Honest, all I did was lean on the
machine, and I pulled the handle down-
57
00:02:58,036 --> 00:02:58,955
Sixteen red.
58
00:02:59,155 --> 00:03:00,403
- I don't understand it at all.
- You win.
59
00:03:00,603 --> 00:03:03,534
...and I won. I win. I won.
See? My magic fingers!
60
00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:04,103
Mick-
61
00:03:04,303 --> 00:03:05,278
I just touch, and anything, I win.
62
00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:06,302
Final call.
63
00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:09,278
What are you guys doing here?
We're supposed to be rehearsing.
64
00:03:09,478 --> 00:03:11,661
Hey, kid, don't bet that
number; it's unlucky.
65
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,478
Oh!
66
00:03:13,678 --> 00:03:17,024
What- don't you touch that money
while that ball is moving, dumb-dumb!
67
00:03:17,224 --> 00:03:19,303
Oh, I-I'm sorry,
but he said it was unlucky.
68
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,855
Sixteen red. Hm hm.
You won again.
69
00:03:22,055 --> 00:03:25,768
Won again. I won again. It's
magic fingers, magic fingers!
70
00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:28,469
They really work! They really work!
Magic fing- oh, magic fingers hurt.
71
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:30,117
See? I told you it was unlucky.
72
00:03:30,317 --> 00:03:31,789
- He did mention it. Heh heh.
- Yeah, I heard him.
73
00:03:31,989 --> 00:03:33,429
Yes, you certainly did mention
it was unlucky.
74
00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:34,287
Now, are you leaving?
75
00:03:34,487 --> 00:03:37,535
Yes, we're leaving. Here we go.
Leaving. Ready to leave. Ah huh.
76
00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:38,262
What's going on?
77
00:03:38,462 --> 00:03:39,568
Micky won all that money there.
78
00:03:39,768 --> 00:03:40,774
Oh, that's amazing-
79
00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:41,576
Place your bets, please.
80
00:03:41,776 --> 00:03:43,175
We'll take it off and-
81
00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:44,223
Let's go. Come on.
Peter, what are you doing?
82
00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:46,527
Well, you shouldn't quit
when you're ahead.
83
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,799
I told you not to
play that number.
84
00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:50,583
He can play any number he wants!
85
00:03:50,783 --> 00:03:51,798
Right! You tell him, Pete.
86
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:52,807
Sixteen red.
87
00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:53,950
Oh! He won!
88
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,430
You won again.
89
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:57,135
I won! I won! Yay!
90
00:03:57,335 --> 00:03:58,054
Yay! He won! Yay!
91
00:03:58,254 --> 00:03:59,999
- Magic fingers!
- Magic fingers.
92
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:04,358
He broke the bank.
You could just die from this.
93
00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:06,527
D sixteen, five times,
broke the whole bank.
94
00:04:06,727 --> 00:04:09,127
We gotta get this changed to
paper money; it's entirely too heavy.
95
00:04:09,327 --> 00:04:10,718
- Very heavy.
- Very heavy.
96
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,265
- Okay.
- Incredibly.
97
00:04:14,607 --> 00:04:16,407
Oh, look, look, look! Oh!
98
00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:18,831
We're rich enough to buy just
about any old thing, guys.
99
00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:20,031
Yuh!
100
00:04:20,231 --> 00:04:21,199
We gotta get that money back.
101
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:26,719
Now cool it while I think.
Get Della the decoy.
102
00:04:26,919 --> 00:04:27,798
That's what you were
thinking about?
103
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:29,481
Get outta here!
104
00:04:29,681 --> 00:04:30,886
We got to invest this money, guys.
105
00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:31,766
Invest it?
106
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:33,895
Into something worthwhile.
107
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:40,255
- You must be joking.
- That's my line.
108
00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:42,263
- I'm sorry.
- You must be joking!
109
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,276
Oh, someone's at the door.
110
00:04:47,943 --> 00:04:49,240
Hi, I'm the maintenance man.
111
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,527
We already gave at the office.
112
00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:52,064
We must maintain.
113
00:04:52,264 --> 00:04:53,519
How?
114
00:04:53,719 --> 00:04:54,614
With the vacuum cleaner.
115
00:04:54,814 --> 00:04:55,416
Not with a vacuum-
116
00:04:55,616 --> 00:04:56,620
Hey! Who are you?
117
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,439
I'm the maintenance man-no,
I'm not the maintenance man.
118
00:04:58,639 --> 00:04:59,312
You're the maintenance man.
119
00:04:59,512 --> 00:05:00,007
I'm the maintenance man.
120
00:05:00,207 --> 00:05:02,240
No, you can't be; maintenance
men don't come that short.
121
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,479
Yes, they do. I mean,
he-he's not so short.
122
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,558
Hey, show us-stand up and
show 'em how tall you are.
123
00:05:06,758 --> 00:05:07,703
I am standing up.
124
00:05:07,903 --> 00:05:08,798
Oh.
125
00:05:08,998 --> 00:05:10,503
Hi. I'm Della.
126
00:05:10,703 --> 00:05:14,008
Holy mo-
127
00:05:15,872 --> 00:05:17,255
Are you the-a maintenance man too?
128
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:21,535
Sure. Don't you like
the way I'm maintained?
129
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,207
Listen, we already
gave at the office.
130
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,032
But we'll give again.
131
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:25,280
- Davy.
- What?
132
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,792
- Peter.
- Peter.
133
00:05:27,671 --> 00:05:28,791
- Mike and I.
- Yeah, come on.
134
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,622
No!
135
00:05:30,822 --> 00:05:33,015
Um, can we help you
a little there?
136
00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:35,367
Uh, here, lookit.
Uh, let us, uh, here.
137
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,663
Uh, why don't I just, uh, uh-
138
00:05:36,863 --> 00:05:38,583
With the broom and sweep a little.
139
00:05:38,783 --> 00:05:39,679
Just sweep a little.
140
00:05:39,879 --> 00:05:42,164
Yeah, we'll help you.
141
00:05:42,364 --> 00:05:43,284
Della?
142
00:05:43,484 --> 00:05:44,364
Mi-Mi-Mike, over here.
143
00:05:44,564 --> 00:05:45,541
Micky, you have a go with
the broom here.
144
00:05:45,741 --> 00:05:47,460
Don't look down. Help me.
I've got nothing but aggravation.
145
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:50,654
I mean, this wheel is completely ruined.
I can't even use it again.
146
00:05:50,854 --> 00:05:53,460
There's a wire attached to
the thing. It's just rigged.
147
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:55,652
It's bugged. It's just a total loss.
I've sent for the police.
148
00:05:55,852 --> 00:05:58,509
They'll help me, 'cause I know nobody else
in the world helps you but yourself.
149
00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:00,172
I just sent for the police
'cause it's their job.
150
00:06:00,372 --> 00:06:01,774
You know, I'm just a
nervous wreck. Oh, officer.
151
00:06:01,974 --> 00:06:03,694
Thank goodness you're here.
152
00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,157
I just found this wire
attached to the wheel,
153
00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:11,086
and whenever I'd shift my stick,
the house would lose a bet. Could you die?
154
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:12,388
- Stick shift.
- Yes.
155
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:13,821
- Wired wheels.
- Mm-hm.
156
00:06:14,021 --> 00:06:15,300
- Sounds like a fast gang.
- It is.
157
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,469
- Let's go get 'em.
- Okay. Oh, lord. Hurry up.
158
00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:19,725
Let me dust.
159
00:06:19,925 --> 00:06:23,020
Della. ♪ Della, sweet as any fella ♪
160
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,479
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
161
00:06:24,679 --> 00:06:26,223
♪ Della, everybody I know, ho, ho ♪
162
00:06:26,423 --> 00:06:28,639
Micky, Micky. She has a line.
She has a line.
163
00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:29,551
No.
164
00:06:29,751 --> 00:06:30,615
You don't have a line?
165
00:06:30,815 --> 00:06:34,950
♪ Stella, sweet as any fella ♪
166
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:37,471
Hey! We've been robbed.
167
00:06:37,671 --> 00:06:39,487
Police! Police!
168
00:06:39,687 --> 00:06:42,143
Police! Help! My money
has been stolen!
169
00:06:42,343 --> 00:06:43,764
- We've been robbed!
- Police, police.
170
00:06:43,964 --> 00:06:45,734
- We're the police.
- What took you so long?
171
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:46,368
Ah huh ha ha.
172
00:06:46,568 --> 00:06:47,783
That's the one called Magic Fingers.
173
00:06:47,983 --> 00:06:51,543
Yes, Magic Fingers. I'd like to
report our money's been robbed, stolen.
174
00:06:51,743 --> 00:06:53,414
Are you willing to sign a
statement to that effect?
175
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,841
- Of course.
- Of course we are.
176
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,952
Now. Give this to Micky.
177
00:06:58,152 --> 00:06:59,727
Okay. Micky, Mike sent that.
178
00:06:59,927 --> 00:07:01,711
Ah. How you make capital M?
179
00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:03,576
Capital M? You take one line,
forty-five degree angle,
180
00:07:03,776 --> 00:07:04,627
ninety degree angle to that line,
181
00:07:04,827 --> 00:07:06,040
forty-five degree angle
to the end of the line.
182
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,382
- Got it.
- Oh.
183
00:07:07,582 --> 00:07:09,511
- Ah. Pencil broke.
- Oh.
184
00:07:09,711 --> 00:07:11,371
- Well.
- What a shame. Heh heh.
185
00:07:11,571 --> 00:07:15,343
Thank you. Now that we have a signed
confession, you're all under arrest!
186
00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:16,304
- What?
- What?
187
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:17,639
- Arrest?
- Get 'em!
188
00:07:17,839 --> 00:07:19,070
- No, no, we'd never-
- No!
189
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,175
- We're honest-
- Boo!
190
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,560
Hey, you guys have got
this all wrong.
191
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,662
You're supposed to arrest the
criminal, not the victim.
192
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,920
You know the one who commits the crime.
193
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,583
Didn't you learn that in cop shop?
194
00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:31,369
- Move. Move.
- Police brutality!
195
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,551
Now, where's the money?
196
00:07:36,751 --> 00:07:38,007
Ah! You can't bring us
in here like this.
197
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,991
I know my consti-oh!-
constitutional rights.
198
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:41,759
That's right.
199
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:43,726
You didn't inform us of our
right to have counsel.
200
00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:44,711
I understand.
201
00:07:44,911 --> 00:07:46,342
You can't make me just
sign a piece of
202
00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:47,967
contract paper that I don't
know what it is.
203
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:48,759
You're right.
204
00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:51,623
So why are you doing all this thing
here with this stuff and all that?
205
00:07:51,823 --> 00:07:53,031
That's the way I always do it.
206
00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:54,704
- Oh.
- Oh, I see.
207
00:07:54,904 --> 00:07:55,831
- Oh, I understand.
- Now where's the money?
208
00:07:56,031 --> 00:07:56,561
Some crooks stole it.
209
00:07:56,761 --> 00:07:58,752
The stolen money you stole was stolen?
210
00:07:58,952 --> 00:07:59,783
Ye-uh, yeah.
211
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:01,735
Come on. You can think of a
better story than that.
212
00:08:01,935 --> 00:08:04,271
Okay, dig, uh, there was
this, uh, uh, beans.
213
00:08:04,471 --> 00:08:05,414
- Yeah.
- Beans.
214
00:08:05,614 --> 00:08:08,416
With this cow this cat had
he got for some beans.
215
00:08:08,616 --> 00:08:09,930
- What was his name?
- Jack.
216
00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:10,843
- Yeah. Jack.
- Jack.
217
00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:12,576
And it grew up into this,
uh, uh, beanstalk.
218
00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:14,624
Wait a minute!
Wait a second!
219
00:08:14,824 --> 00:08:17,168
I suppose you didn't know about
the roulette wheel being rigged, did you?
220
00:08:17,368 --> 00:08:18,079
The reel was wigged?
221
00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:18,960
The reel was wigged!
222
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,777
Officer, arrest this man.
223
00:08:20,977 --> 00:08:23,640
Wait. I didn't do it. I'm innocent.
I didn't do a thing.
224
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,280
The wheel was rigged?
You mean I didn't win?
225
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,768
These aren't magic fingers?
They're just plain old fingers.
226
00:08:30,314 --> 00:08:31,431
I think you have nice fingers, Micky.
227
00:08:31,631 --> 00:08:32,794
Look, fellas, I got a deal.
228
00:08:32,994 --> 00:08:36,112
You get the money back in twenty-four
hours, and I won't press charges.
229
00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:37,319
- Okay.
- Okay.
230
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:40,008
But if you don't get it back in
twenty-four hours, it's twenty years.
231
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:43,424
Twenty years? We're gonna go
to jail for twenty years,
232
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:44,993
and we don't even know
who the crooks are.
233
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:46,227
Well, if we can't find the crooks,
234
00:08:46,427 --> 00:08:47,704
maybe we can get the
crooks to find us.
235
00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:48,847
How can we do that, Mike?
236
00:08:49,047 --> 00:08:49,848
Why don't we open a prison?
237
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:52,744
- Ooh! Ooh!
- Ooh, is that stupid!
238
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,849
- Ooh, dumb!
- Oh, Peter. Peter!
239
00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:55,985
Stupid idea, wow, man.
Hold it, guys.
240
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,248
- What?
- I know what we'll do.
241
00:08:57,448 --> 00:08:58,160
Where's Peter gone?
Oh, there he is.
242
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,519
Mumble, mumble.
243
00:08:59,719 --> 00:09:01,327
Rhubarb, rhubarb.
244
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,408
Oh, Peter.
245
00:09:04,608 --> 00:09:05,424
Hey! Don't I know you?
246
00:09:05,624 --> 00:09:08,825
No. I'm from Scranton.
247
00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:11,327
Oh. Scranton?
248
00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:14,247
Ten red.
249
00:09:14,447 --> 00:09:16,520
Ten red.
250
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,024
Ten red.
251
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,632
Ten red.
252
00:09:19,832 --> 00:09:21,704
Ten red. Oh, hello.
253
00:09:21,904 --> 00:09:22,487
Hi there.
254
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,841
That's the guy with the
hands that crushed chhh.
255
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:26,880
He's gotta be one of the crooks.
256
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:33,953
Right! Hey, uh, don't bother
the Professor while he's thinking.
257
00:09:34,153 --> 00:09:35,048
Who are you?
258
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:39,408
I'm, um, the Insidious Strangler.
I'm the boss of this, uh, gang.
259
00:09:39,608 --> 00:09:43,560
Well, my boss wants to know what
your gang is doing in town.
260
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:49,984
Well, me boss says my gang is
here for robbery, extortion, and murder.
261
00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:52,184
Sort of your regular
tourist activities.
262
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,432
Actually we're here to play a gig.
263
00:09:53,632 --> 00:09:55,112
- Peter!
- Hm?
264
00:09:55,312 --> 00:09:59,744
Look, when my boss wants to
know something, you better tell him.
265
00:09:59,944 --> 00:10:02,623
Who's gonna make me?
266
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,800
Mauler. Come here.
Come here, Muscles.
267
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,514
- Yeah?
- This is Muscles the Mauler.
268
00:10:12,714 --> 00:10:13,312
- Oh, yeah.
- Show him.
269
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:14,360
Go play in traffic if
you're not gonna gamble.
270
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,040
- Show him the same thing.
- Oh, really?
271
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,552
- Ha ha.
- Same thing, right?
272
00:10:17,752 --> 00:10:18,114
Yeah, the same thing.
273
00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:19,312
Yeah. How do you like that?
274
00:10:19,512 --> 00:10:20,976
That's pretty good.
275
00:10:21,176 --> 00:10:23,328
Oh, come on, now! Separate
checks for these two.
276
00:10:23,528 --> 00:10:24,992
Now, this is ridiculous.
I only got one left.
277
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:28,801
Vicious Killer here spent two
years in solitary confinement.
278
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:29,760
Was it tough?
279
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,139
Nah. He did it standing on his head.
280
00:10:32,568 --> 00:10:34,559
Good. I'll give him two more years
to get back on his feet again.
281
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,176
If you aren't gonna gamble,
will you please hurry up please?
282
00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:38,017
What do you do for this gang?
283
00:10:38,217 --> 00:10:40,864
We're here to take over this
town and win all the money.
284
00:10:41,064 --> 00:10:41,704
How?
285
00:10:41,904 --> 00:10:44,351
Well, I have this system, see?
It's almost perfected.
286
00:10:44,551 --> 00:10:48,065
You square the linear coefficient of the
cube root raised to the power of X,
287
00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:51,432
and then we invert the logarithms like this,
and now we add seven plus five,
288
00:10:51,632 --> 00:10:53,272
which equals eleven, and we
extrapolate the third derivative-
289
00:10:53,472 --> 00:10:57,241
Hold it. Hold it. Seven plus
five equals twelve.
290
00:10:59,888 --> 00:11:01,496
You're right. You're right!
You're right!
291
00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:04,920
This perfects my system!
My system is perfect! I have it!
292
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,600
Isn't that dumb?
293
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,328
The boss says you can come in now.
294
00:11:08,528 --> 00:11:09,936
The boss says you can come in now.
295
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:10,999
Good. Let's come in.
296
00:11:11,199 --> 00:11:11,792
We're coming in.
297
00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:15,056
Hi!
298
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:18,339
Mm-hm. Sit down.
299
00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,273
Hm-hm-hm, hm-hm-hm.
300
00:11:24,473 --> 00:11:28,299
Hm-hm-hm. Hm.
Ah. Hm.
301
00:11:28,499 --> 00:11:32,690
Mm. Hm-mm.
[coughs] Mm.
302
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:35,184
Ah-ah-ah! Ah! Mm!
303
00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:37,543
- Hm!
- Hm!
304
00:11:37,743 --> 00:11:39,809
- Hm-hm-hm!
- Hm-hm-hm!
305
00:11:40,009 --> 00:11:42,617
- Hm-hm-hm!
- Hm-hm-hm!
306
00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:45,355
- Hm-
- Hm-
307
00:11:45,662 --> 00:11:46,670
Hm-hm-hm!
308
00:11:46,888 --> 00:11:48,224
Rnrnr! You're a Yankee-
309
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:54,456
doodle dandy. You're the rat
that killed my brother. Hm!
310
00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:57,424
You guys wanna talk to me?
Well, talk.
311
00:11:57,624 --> 00:12:01,455
Hm, alright. I'll talk.
You listen.
312
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:08,329
The Professor here has a new surefire
way to beat the roulette table. Hm!
313
00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:11,416
Hm. What's his surefire way?
314
00:12:11,616 --> 00:12:13,810
Don't move.
315
00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:17,081
Go ahead and talk.
316
00:12:17,281 --> 00:12:20,424
Uh, well, it's the, uh, i-i-it
depends on the equalization of ratios.
317
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:23,552
Oh. It's the old equalization
of ratio bit, eh?
318
00:12:23,752 --> 00:12:25,007
Right. Yes. That's right.
319
00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:25,976
Go ahead.
320
00:12:26,176 --> 00:12:29,420
Well, i-it's, uh-equal things are e-you
know, when you put them-here.
321
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:34,468
Let me show you. Um, first of all, you,
uh, like, take, uh, see, two glasses.
322
00:12:34,668 --> 00:12:36,764
The same amount in, uh, both. See?
323
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,313
And, uh, they have equal
amounts in them,
324
00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:40,060
and therefore,
they are the same as each other.
325
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,612
See? Well, they'll-they're different. Here.
326
00:12:41,812 --> 00:12:44,228
You take this one and, uh, you take this,
and you'll see that if you drink together,
327
00:12:44,428 --> 00:12:46,860
you'll find that they are unequal,
and when they are unequal,
328
00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,021
that the ratios can no
longer be equalized.
329
00:12:49,221 --> 00:12:52,636
Now, here, have a little of this and,
uh, we'll, um, have a little of that. Here.
330
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:56,101
Ah, thank you. Mm-hm.
331
00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:58,348
Yeah, here, have some more.
Th-this one is the good one, and,
332
00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:01,851
uh, we can see that that's a sixteen
red there, and the black is, uh, right.
333
00:13:02,051 --> 00:13:03,515
Isn't that dumb?
334
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:04,987
Can I have another one?
335
00:13:05,187 --> 00:13:10,411
Uh, sixteen red eye and sixteen
black eye, and, uh, here, have some-
336
00:13:10,611 --> 00:13:13,491
Beautiful, Peter. Beautiful.
Beautiful. Lovely. Lovely.
337
00:13:13,691 --> 00:13:14,639
- Guys? Guys?
- What?
338
00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:16,021
- We gotta find the money.
- Right.
339
00:13:16,221 --> 00:13:18,179
- Money.
- Find the money.
340
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:22,828
Okay. I'm gonna open
the drawer now.
341
00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:25,924
Ah! Ah! Ah!
342
00:13:26,124 --> 00:13:28,861
What's that?
What's that? Wuh?
343
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:34,956
Okay. It's a deal.
Your system, my money.
344
00:13:35,156 --> 00:13:41,627
Ow! My magic f-f-f-f-f-fin-g-g-g-ger!
345
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,468
Take this, Wizard Glick.
346
00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:54,268
Ooh! Guh! Who?
347
00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:56,244
Wizard Glick.
348
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,076
Man, I'm not Wizard Glick.
349
00:13:58,276 --> 00:14:00,307
Oh, you're not? Oh, sorry.
350
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,457
No, I'm not Wizard-
351
00:14:03,657 --> 00:14:04,330
Is that the money?
352
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,928
Yeah. That's it over there.
353
00:14:07,128 --> 00:14:08,057
Why don't you take it from him?
354
00:14:08,257 --> 00:14:09,705
Why don't you take it from him?
355
00:14:09,905 --> 00:14:11,761
Well, we can't. We have no
proof that's the stolen money.
356
00:14:11,961 --> 00:14:13,618
You better make sure they
lose that money too.
357
00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:16,769
It'll be easy. Don't worry.
Professor, what's the next number?
358
00:14:16,969 --> 00:14:19,233
Um, twenty-four red.
359
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:20,025
Twenty-four red.
360
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:23,288
Twenty- twenty-four red.
See, they'll lose in the first spin.
361
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,055
You better make sure
they lose that money.
362
00:14:26,255 --> 00:14:27,536
What did you say?
363
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:31,208
Hm. I said, "You could
choose on the first win".
364
00:14:31,408 --> 00:14:36,313
I did, and twenty-four
red better win.
365
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:39,505
Ah.
366
00:14:39,705 --> 00:14:40,716
Hey, don't I know you?
367
00:14:40,916 --> 00:14:42,769
No, I'm from Transylvania.
368
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,104
Transylvania? Could you die
from that aggravation?
369
00:14:45,304 --> 00:14:47,241
Well, I thought you said
you were from Scranton.
370
00:14:47,441 --> 00:14:50,791
Right. Scranton, Transylvania.
371
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:51,951
Oh. Ah, so.
372
00:14:52,151 --> 00:14:54,120
Ah, so. Sock it to me. Ha.
373
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,920
Twenty-four red. You win!
374
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:57,984
He's still winning money!
375
00:14:58,184 --> 00:14:58,592
Oh!
376
00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:01,144
We win. We win. You heard?
We win. We win!
377
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:04,040
It's a fixed machine. It's my own.
I don't understand this aggravation.
378
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,720
Lucky guess, I guess.
379
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,008
Lucky? You better believe it.
380
00:15:07,208 --> 00:15:08,904
Remember, if you win
more than a million,
381
00:15:09,104 --> 00:15:12,744
we throw the key away and
fill the cell with cement.
382
00:15:12,944 --> 00:15:15,057
You better make sure
they lose that money.
383
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:18,498
Number, please, Professor.
384
00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:19,722
Uh, two-twelve green.
385
00:15:19,922 --> 00:15:21,032
Two-twelve green?
386
00:15:21,232 --> 00:15:22,510
Two-twelve green? Are you nuts?
387
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,648
Put some glass in those glasses,
you dumb-dumb.
388
00:15:24,848 --> 00:15:25,985
There's no two-twelve green.
389
00:15:26,185 --> 00:15:27,352
They can't win.
390
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,672
Good thinking!
391
00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:31,783
He's got nothing here, but he's
got it here. Hm. Good thinking.
392
00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:33,664
I guarantee you'll get
your money back.
393
00:15:33,864 --> 00:15:36,392
They can't possibly win this time.
I stake my life on it.
394
00:15:36,592 --> 00:15:37,464
You are.
395
00:15:37,664 --> 00:15:40,169
I know! Have you
been in Dez Moines?
396
00:15:40,369 --> 00:15:41,513
Uh, you mean Des Moines?
397
00:15:41,713 --> 00:15:42,969
No, Dez Moines.
398
00:15:43,169 --> 00:15:44,056
No.
399
00:15:44,256 --> 00:15:47,066
Oh. Mm.
400
00:15:51,176 --> 00:15:54,040
Two-twelve green,
the winner! Blaah!
401
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,872
Two-twelve green?
402
00:15:56,072 --> 00:15:58,576
There's no two-twelve green,
and he won again!
403
00:15:58,776 --> 00:15:59,289
Ah.
404
00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:01,373
It's my own game! I don't know
how he makes these things up.
405
00:16:01,573 --> 00:16:03,118
I'm just not well. I'm just sick!
406
00:16:03,318 --> 00:16:05,549
Wow!
407
00:16:05,749 --> 00:16:08,012
I don't know how he does that.
408
00:16:08,212 --> 00:16:09,798
Ah! We're made!
409
00:16:09,998 --> 00:16:13,294
I'm sure I know you.
I never forget a wallet.
410
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,326
Here, why don't you go play
the dollar machine, honey?
411
00:16:15,526 --> 00:16:17,322
- Oh, thank you!
- Go right ahead.
412
00:16:17,522 --> 00:16:18,786
What are you doing
giving my money away?
413
00:16:18,986 --> 00:16:23,146
- Place your bets, please.
- What's the next number, Professor?
414
00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:25,419
Eighty-seven plaid.
415
00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,386
We don't have any plaid, dumb-dumb!
416
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,091
Woo! Then we lose everything!
417
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,929
Good thinking. Oh, I'm-silly me.
418
00:16:32,129 --> 00:16:35,203
I knew it. It's Magic Fingers!
419
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:36,890
Magic Fingers?
So that's the game!
420
00:16:37,090 --> 00:16:39,554
They're trying to steal the money
we stole from them that they stole from us.
421
00:16:39,754 --> 00:16:40,778
Hey, I'm not really-no.
422
00:16:40,978 --> 00:16:41,882
Oh, yes, you are!
423
00:16:42,082 --> 00:16:43,860
- No. I'm not-
- Get them!
424
00:16:55,311 --> 00:17:00,677
With his fool's gold
stacked up all around him
425
00:17:00,877 --> 00:17:05,381
From a killing in the
market on the war
426
00:17:07,008 --> 00:17:12,348
The children left King Midas there,
as they found him
427
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:17,888
In his counting house where
nothing counts but more
428
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:23,756
And he thought he heard the
echoes of a penny whistle band
429
00:17:23,956 --> 00:17:28,309
And the laughter from a distant caravan
430
00:17:30,094 --> 00:17:36,207
And the brightly painted line
of circus wagons in the sand
431
00:17:36,407 --> 00:17:41,319
Fading through the door into summer
432
00:17:44,727 --> 00:17:49,327
With his travelogues of
"maybe next year" places
433
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:54,795
As a trade-in for a name upon the door
434
00:17:56,790 --> 00:18:02,374
And he pays for it with years he
cannot buy back with his tears
435
00:18:02,574 --> 00:18:06,447
When he finds out there's
been no one keeping score
436
00:18:07,705 --> 00:18:13,169
And he thought he heard the
echoes of a penny whistle band
437
00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:17,994
And the laughter from a distant caravan
438
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:25,837
And the brightly painted line
of circus wagons in the sand
439
00:18:26,037 --> 00:18:30,222
Fading through the door into summer
440
00:18:35,349 --> 00:18:39,307
Yes, he thought he heard the
echoes of a penny whistle band
441
00:18:39,507 --> 00:18:44,250
And the laughter from a distant caravan
442
00:18:45,722 --> 00:18:51,955
And the brightly painted line
of circus wagons in the sand
443
00:18:52,155 --> 00:18:56,419
Fading through the door into summer
444
00:19:04,323 --> 00:19:08,834
Fading through the
door into summer
445
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:17,581
Now, then-over-over here, kiddie.
Yeah. Uh, for all practical purposes,
446
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,580
you see, the show is over,
uh, but we have
447
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:22,877
in the television industry
what they call a tag,
448
00:19:23,077 --> 00:19:28,156
uh, which is some sort of just complete
laugh riot at the end of a show-
449
00:19:28,356 --> 00:19:28,748
Heh heh heh.
450
00:19:28,948 --> 00:19:32,436
So that y'all tune back in next week,
you see, because it's so hilarious.
451
00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:36,941
Now, the tag we're gonna do this week
is called a "here we go again" tag,
452
00:19:37,141 --> 00:19:39,469
and Davy and Peter are gonna do it.
It involves Micky.
453
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:42,909
To think none of this would have happened
if Micky hadn't-a got the gambling bug.
454
00:19:43,109 --> 00:19:44,532
Boy, but we're sure not
gonna get involved
455
00:19:44,732 --> 00:19:45,796
in that scene again, are we, Micky?
456
00:19:45,996 --> 00:19:47,706
- Never again.
- Micky? Micky?
457
00:19:47,906 --> 00:19:49,307
- Micky?
- M-uh, Micky?
458
00:19:49,651 --> 00:19:50,811
Okay, now, wait a minute.
Hold it, guys.
459
00:19:51,011 --> 00:19:52,077
Now, you see, we cut over to Micky,
460
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:54,650
and you see him playing with
a gambling machine.
461
00:19:57,053 --> 00:19:58,881
And now you cut back to us.
462
00:20:00,717 --> 00:20:01,857
And now you cut back to us.
463
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:05,937
And now you cut back to us.
464
00:20:10,345 --> 00:20:11,556
And now you cut back to us,
465
00:20:11,756 --> 00:20:14,476
and we're supposed to give a
pained look to the camera.
466
00:20:14,676 --> 00:20:18,486
Isn't that funny, kids?
Ah ha ha ha! Whoa ha ha!
467
00:20:28,162 --> 00:20:31,760
La la la la...
468
00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:52,471
You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
469
00:20:54,414 --> 00:20:58,939
You're not the only choo-choo train
that was left out in the rain
470
00:20:59,139 --> 00:21:01,468
The day after Santa came
471
00:21:02,242 --> 00:21:06,065
You're not the only cherry delight
that was left out in the night
472
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,632
And gave up without a fight
473
00:21:10,016 --> 00:21:16,144
You're not the only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
474
00:21:18,173 --> 00:21:21,589
You're not the kind of
girl to tell your mother
475
00:21:21,789 --> 00:21:24,299
The kind of company you keep
476
00:21:25,616 --> 00:21:29,513
I never told you not
to love no other
477
00:21:29,713 --> 00:21:32,610
You must of dreamed it
in your sleep
478
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:40,053
You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
479
00:21:41,614 --> 00:21:45,446
You're not the only choo-choo train
that was left out in the rain
480
00:21:45,646 --> 00:21:47,870
The day after Santa came
481
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,179
You're not the only cherry delight
that was left out in the night
482
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:55,684
And gave up without a fight
483
00:21:57,261 --> 00:22:03,286
You're not the only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
484
00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:08,401
You're not the kind of
girl to tell your mother
485
00:22:08,601 --> 00:22:10,915
The kind of company you keep
486
00:22:12,295 --> 00:22:15,985
I never told you not
to love no other
487
00:22:16,185 --> 00:22:19,067
You must of dreamed it
in your sleep
488
00:22:20,695 --> 00:22:26,688
You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
489
00:22:28,158 --> 00:22:34,255
You're not only cuddly toy that
was ever enjoyed by any boy
490
00:22:36,061 --> 00:22:38,589
La la la la...
491
00:22:57,614 --> 00:23:01,550
Don't now! Now, really, everybody, cool it,
'cause I won't be able to get through this.
492
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:03,015
Action.
493
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,870
Hey, wow. That's a groovy
button. What does it say?
494
00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:07,199
Love is the ultimate trip.
495
00:23:07,399 --> 00:23:08,983
Ah, gee, that's a nice thought.
496
00:23:09,183 --> 00:23:11,644
Gee, that's a neat button.
What does it say?
497
00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:14,126
Let's go again!
498
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,222
Hey, that's a groovy
button. What does it say?
499
00:23:16,422 --> 00:23:18,230
Love is the ultimate trip.
500
00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:19,591
That's a nice thought.
501
00:23:19,791 --> 00:23:22,575
That's a nice button.
What do-ah!
502
00:23:22,775 --> 00:23:24,270
Cut. Let's go again.
503
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:27,223
Oh, wow! That's a groovy button.
What does it say?
504
00:23:27,423 --> 00:23:29,278
It says love is the ultimate trip.
505
00:23:29,478 --> 00:23:31,238
Oh, that's a nice thought.
506
00:23:31,438 --> 00:23:33,767
That's a nice button.
What does it say?
507
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:36,391
Save the Texas-
508
00:23:36,591 --> 00:23:38,143
Cut. Let's go again.
509
00:23:38,343 --> 00:23:39,904
Hey, that's a groovy button.
What does it say?
510
00:23:40,104 --> 00:23:41,863
Love is the ultimate trip.
511
00:23:42,063 --> 00:23:43,006
Well, that's a nice thought.
512
00:23:43,206 --> 00:23:44,629
That's a nice button.
What does it say?
513
00:23:44,829 --> 00:23:47,933
- Save the Texas prairie-
- Cut. Let's go again.
514
00:23:48,133 --> 00:23:51,126
Hey, what does it-hey, that's a
nice button. What does it say?
515
00:23:51,326 --> 00:23:52,614
Love is the ultimate trip.
516
00:23:52,814 --> 00:23:53,951
Oh, that's a groovy thought.
517
00:23:54,151 --> 00:23:55,677
That's a nice button.
What does it say?
518
00:23:55,877 --> 00:23:59,758
Save the Texas prairie-hold it.
Wait. No.
519
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:01,382
Cut. Let's go again.
520
00:24:01,582 --> 00:24:03,774
Hey, that's a groovy button.
What does it say?
521
00:24:03,974 --> 00:24:05,102
Love is the ultimate trip.
522
00:24:05,302 --> 00:24:06,111
Oh, that's a nice thought.
523
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:07,494
That's a groovy button.
What does it say?
524
00:24:07,694 --> 00:24:10,658
- Save the Texas prairie chicken.
- That-
525
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:23,906
In this generation
In this lovin' time
526
00:24:24,106 --> 00:24:29,454
In this generation
We will make the world shine
527
00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:37,188
We were born to love one another
This is somethin', we all need
528
00:24:38,083 --> 00:24:43,604
We were born to love one another
We must be what we're goin' to be
529
00:24:45,134 --> 00:24:48,213
And what we have to be, is free
530
00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:52,153
Love is understandin'
We gotta be free
531
00:24:52,553 --> 00:24:55,751
Love is understandin'
We gotta be free
532
00:24:57,727 --> 00:25:01,031
We gotta be free
533
00:25:01,228 --> 00:25:03,260
We gotta be free
41198
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