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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,238 Previously on Monarch... 2 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,274 You broke my heart ♪ 3 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,777 My body and mind. ♪ 4 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,679 - You stole mama's song! - You mean before you could? 5 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,647 Of course you helped Mama die. 6 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,616 You're just like her. 7 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,452 Wade, you got a song for me? 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,254 My style does tend more towards the, uh... 9 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,790 Lovesick young cowboy? 10 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,825 Jamie Burke, producer out of Atlanta. 11 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:25,859 Yeah, charmed. 12 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,628 JAMIE: Nicky, you're so talented. 13 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,530 I want you to know it really is 14 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,765 a pleasure meeting you. 15 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,034 I feel terrible doing this to Gigi. 16 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,769 LUKE: -hat's what you said last time. -T 17 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,705 NICKY: How far along are you? 18 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,440 Luke doesn't even know yet. 19 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,309 Dottie was being blackmailed. 20 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,877 $50,000 a month, every month. 21 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,679 You tell 'em that Albie Roman 22 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,815 ain't paying 'em another cent. 23 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,818 ♪ 24 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,558 (car alarm chirps) 25 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,411 ♪ 26 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,668 (line rings, clicks) 27 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,371 It's done. 28 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,538 (beeps) 29 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,875 (engine starts) 30 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,257 ♪ 31 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,275 Pretty as the day I first met you. 32 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,644 You are too sweet. 33 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,716 Come on, sugar. 34 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,093 WOMAN: Right in there. 35 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,095 -(door opens) - MARTY: Thank you. 36 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,932 I got here as quick as I could. 37 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,735 Any luck figuring out who these blackmailers are? 38 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,404 Like I said, they're pros. 39 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,607 Communication's airtight. End-to-end encryption, 40 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,409 asymmetric algorithms. 41 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,910 In English. 42 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,447 They're ciphers. Impossible to trace. 43 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,114 (sighs) 44 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,284 Then I want you to set up a meeting. 45 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,452 What? No, Albie... 46 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,620 I want to meet these vultures in person. 47 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,756 And look 'em in the eye. 48 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,125 They're gonna pay for the pain they caused her. 49 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,695 Albie, I don't think you understand. 50 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,630 These people are dangerous. 51 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,300 Here's what you don't understand. 52 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,869 So am I. 53 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,811 Excuse me, what are you doing in here? Hey! 54 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,813 Clive! 55 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,648 Well, I'm making a ginger and turmeric smoothie. 56 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,317 They say it improves your mood. 57 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,819 Well, it is certainly not improving mine. 58 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,722 Do you think two weeks in the guest house is gonna, like, 59 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,156 make me forget who you are? 60 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,225 Actually, the time apart's been quite the revelation. 61 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,227 See, we all knew that your mother 62 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,663 had terminal cancer, but, uh... 63 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,833 I always wondered... 64 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,803 how she passed so quickly. 65 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,671 And now I know. 66 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,340 You killed her. 67 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,675 I did not kill her. 68 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,644 And I have the proof. 69 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:07,014 Oxycodone, Nick, which you gave to her, no doubt. 70 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,851 I helped her open the bottle is what I did. 71 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,185 That's a distinction known only to you, me, 72 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,354 and Dottie-- God rest her soul. 73 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,022 What do you want? 74 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,424 Penthouse suite, 75 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,191 200 grand walking-around money. 76 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,027 Ah, to start. 77 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,663 Are you insane? It's what she wanted. 78 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,197 Or maybe you wanted to be Queen of Country 79 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,033 just a little bit sooner than Dottie was ready 80 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,502 to relinquish the crown. 81 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,944 ♪ 82 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,219 (Gigi groans) 83 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,055 It's hot as hell. 84 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,890 Somebody please remind me why we shoot 85 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,960 the Roman Family Christmas special in July again? 86 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,396 ALBIE: You know why. 'Cause Christmas 87 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,030 was your mama's favorite holiday, 88 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,766 and this way she could have it twice a year. 89 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,635 And so a Roman tradition was born. 90 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,538 Fake Christmas. 91 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,274 Which brings us to why we're all here. 92 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,077 We are gonna be filming the special all week, and viewership 93 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,412 has been a little off lately. 94 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,914 No kidding. This show is so dated. 95 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,749 All we're missing is VCRs 96 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,419 and "Re-elect Reagan" spots. 97 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,754 It may be old-fashioned, but Mama loved tradition, so... 98 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,990 You know what else Mama liked? Ratings. 99 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,426 So why don't we bring this show 100 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,928 into the 21st century? You know, maybe update it 101 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,399 - for the under-80 crowd. - Spoken like a true millennial. 102 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,434 Are you two still mad at each other over the rodeo? 103 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,603 - I'm not mad at her. - Why would she be? 104 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,137 She's the one who stole my song. 105 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,272 And now it's number one on Spotify. 106 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,441 Technically, it was Mama's song. 107 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,242 Technically, you're a thieving, 108 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,844 backstabbing bitch. 109 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,013 Good, this is just that Christmas spirit I love. 110 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,148 Enough. 111 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,119 This special is a tradition that your mama loved. 112 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,087 But, Daddy, everyone knows 113 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,790 - you never liked it. - But your mama did. 114 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,292 Half of a marriage is partnership. 115 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,795 And the other half... 116 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,497 is keeping your mouth shut. 117 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,999 I'll see y'all at the studio. 118 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,703 (country version of "Away in a Manger" playing) 119 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,347 (groans) Look at me. 120 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,817 Is this really the image that you want 121 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,720 for one of Monarch's hottest up-and-coming acts? 122 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,155 You look adorable. 123 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,657 That's what the fans want. 124 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,659 Do you even know who my fans are? 125 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,695 They're single moms and lesbians. 126 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,129 They don't care about adorable. 127 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,165 They want honest and real. 128 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,701 Geeg, I don't know why you complain about this every year. 129 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,836 - It's... - It's tradition, yeah, I know. 130 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,473 Just like toxic masculinity and the Confederacy. 131 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,176 CARINEH: You're really not gonna like what Clive's done now. 132 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,344 NICKY: Unbelievable. 133 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,814 I-I call him out for cheating, and then... 134 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,149 he's the hot stud and I'm, what am I? 135 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,987 I'm, oh, I'm pathetic and I can't move on. 136 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,222 - Who is she? - Some young skank. Who cares? 137 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,858 You need to show your fans you've moved on 138 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,827 right now. 139 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:09,396 - I mean, you have. - You mean Wade? 140 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:12,165 That's just... It was just some fling. 141 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,567 I'm not judging you, sweetie. 142 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,869 But there's a double standard. I mean, 143 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,872 Clive can whore it up all over town and his stock goes up. 144 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,510 You need to... bravely open yourself up 145 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,277 to a new relationship. 146 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,046 Something people can root for. 147 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,182 Go public as a couple with Wade. 148 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,884 But we're not a couple. 149 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,520 And the Romans aren't the perfect family 150 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,188 that sit around the fire and sip eggnog 151 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,924 and sing "Frosty the Snowman." 152 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,059 But people want to believe what they want to believe. 153 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,028 So... 154 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,030 You, what, you want me to go... 155 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,232 out on a fake date? 156 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,734 As your publicist, I think 157 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,802 you and Wade will keep you exciting, 158 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,572 yet still wholesome and aspirational. 159 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,140 As your friend, I know that you and Wade will give 160 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,908 Clive a taste of his own medicine. 161 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,077 - I'll think about it. - Well, don't think too long. 162 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,478 Clive is probably making out with at least 163 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,380 one of the Kardashians as we speak. 164 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:05,418 ♪ 165 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,831 Where the hell are they? 166 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,235 They ain't coming. 167 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,742 Everybody's a badass till they ain't. 168 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,620 ♪ 169 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,312 NICKY: Listen, I know we're all usy with the Christmas special, b 170 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,280 but we need to talk. 171 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,516 My sister may be a giant pain in the ass 172 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,519 who hates my guts right now, but I am not... 173 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,521 gonna sit quietly in the background 174 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,323 when her entire future 175 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,959 with the only woman she ever loved hangs in the balance 176 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,994 Nicky, I love her, too. 177 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,863 - We all do. - Right, because 178 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,297 nothing says I love you more 179 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,166 than sleeping with the brother-in-law. 180 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,702 Listen, this wasn't some sordid affair. 181 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,671 All right, there are real feelings here. 182 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,873 Yeah, but it was a mistake, obviously. 183 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,542 We're deeply sorry for it and it's done. 184 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,177 Good, because right now we have 185 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,246 a much bigger problem that's harder to hide. 186 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,381 A baby. 187 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,216 Yeah, well, Gigi and I have been wanting another one, so... 188 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,018 I know, which leads me to why 189 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,887 I invited you both here, because I think 190 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:50,190 I might have a solution that, that suits all of us. 191 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,560 So listen up and keep an open mind. 192 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,029 ("Deck the Halls" playing on piano) 193 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,104 Oh, "Deck the Halls," how original. 194 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,073 Psst. 195 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,908 Yay. 196 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,677 What brings you by here? 197 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,044 This is such a surprise. 198 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,080 What, I need an excuse to come visit my wife? 199 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,216 Oh, I see, you want something. 200 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,218 - I get it. - No. 201 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,053 I just, um... 202 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,589 I've been thinking a lot about our plan... 203 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,057 to have another baby. 204 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,358 Really? 205 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,060 Right now? 206 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,229 I know it sounds crazy, 207 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,932 but since we decided I'd carry, 208 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,701 what if we fast-track this whole thing 209 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,236 and ask Luke to be our donor? 210 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,571 Luke? My brother? 211 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,908 Chiseled CEO 212 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,810 with a daddy complex Luke? 213 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,411 I know, I... 214 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,613 Well, what made you think of him? 215 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,448 It's common to ask a relative or a close friend. 216 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,983 Okay, but 217 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,651 I'm not sure if having 218 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,954 another baby right now is a great idea. 219 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,824 I-I'm trying to light a fire under my career. 220 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,625 Why the rush? 221 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,794 We have all the time in the world. 222 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,462 MAN: Gigi, we need you on set. 223 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,431 - Got to go. - Oh. Bye. 224 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,566 Bye, honey. 225 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,273 I guess when you're rich and famous, 226 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,275 you're allowed to have two Christmases. 227 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,745 Amazing. 228 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,479 Mom. 229 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,249 - Is that Wade Stellings? - It is. 230 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,785 I told you everybody would be here. 231 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,087 And now you are, too. (laughs) 232 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,188 Hey, there. 233 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,591 You ready to pretend it's Christmas? 234 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,326 Hi. 235 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,661 It's, um... 236 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,964 It's good to see you again. 237 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,336 It is, but now I believe 238 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,972 we're late for our wardrobe fitting. 239 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,342 This isn't the junior prom. 240 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,211 We're here for one reason and one reason only. 241 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,679 To work. 242 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,815 Not to meet cute boys. 243 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,722 - Bye. - Roman Family Christmas 244 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,058 has been Stellings family viewing since I was little. 245 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,828 My mama called it "comfort food for the soul." 246 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,030 She can't believe I'm a guest star. 247 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,664 We're lucky to have you. 248 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,333 Maybe next time you'll ask me yourself. 249 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,971 All right, so this isn't about the Christmas special. 250 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,673 You didn't have to have our publicists arrange another date. 251 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,543 You could have just asked. I mean, I have seen you naked. 252 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,545 Yeah, and it was fun. 253 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,848 But I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl. 254 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,984 That's why my publicist reached out-- it's a fake date, PR. 255 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,053 I'm not here for fake anything. 256 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,188 All right, why are you here? 257 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,224 For you. 258 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,026 Bye. 259 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,497 Thank you. 260 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,236 All right. 261 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,574 Hi. 262 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,910 You doing okay? 263 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,747 I know Fake Christmas isn't the same without Mama. 264 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,250 Nothing's the same without Mama. 265 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,918 What's wrong, Daddy? 266 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:08,455 Well, it's like this. Your mother... 267 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,457 she was being blackmailed. 268 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,893 What? How do you know that? 269 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,262 Marty. 270 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,897 Said it'd been going on for the... 271 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,431 better part of the last ten years. 272 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,600 Well, I don't understand. 273 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,602 Wh-Who? And why? 274 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,872 "Who" is on my to-do list. 275 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,940 But "why"? 276 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,709 I think she was protecting me. 277 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,080 My affair. 278 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,781 You know, the one I told you about. 279 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,283 That was years ago. 280 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,417 Somebody must've known. 281 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,785 And you know your mother. 282 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,388 The Roman image was important to her, 283 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,823 at... at any expense. 284 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,592 I don't think that was it. 285 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,796 The night Mama passed, she said something to me. 286 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,465 I've done things that can never 287 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,302 be forgiven. 288 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,270 I didn't know... 289 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,007 what it meant. I-I still don't, but... 290 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,475 it wasn't about you. 291 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,811 I think Mama may have secrets of her own. 292 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,660 Another lump of coal for you, Gigi. 293 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,629 That's okay, Nicky. 294 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,132 'Cause coal turns into diamonds. 295 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,167 And like Mama always said, 296 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,136 your luck is what you make it. 297 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,205 - And Mama turned her luck... - Ridiculous. 298 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:36,043 They're grown women now. 299 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,811 (laughs): Oh, don't, don't be a grinch. 300 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,181 They're helping people feel better about their lives. 301 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,516 We're the first family of country music. 302 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,518 And that's degrading. 303 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,720 Look, all right, I know you never had any of this 304 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,222 when you were growing up. 305 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,890 You had no Christmas, no music... 306 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,560 no love. 307 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,296 But even though our girls are out there pretending, 308 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,897 the audience, 309 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,200 what they're feeling is real. 310 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:03,236 Real love, real joy. 311 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,473 Just what I feel every morning when I wake up with you. 312 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,142 Now don't you think everybody is entitled 313 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,910 to have just a little bit of that? 314 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,246 What would I be without you? 315 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,382 Oh, you'd be fine. 316 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,051 And you're never gonna have to find out because 317 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,820 I'm always gonna be with you. 318 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,193 NICKY: And Mama turned her luck 319 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,928 into a lot of diamonds. 320 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,064 Mm-hmm. 321 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,599 Cut! 322 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,234 Check it. 323 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,702 Hey, Geeg? 324 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,904 Do not follow me. 325 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,907 Or I'm gonna show you where to shove that lump of coal. 326 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,442 All right, well, I need to talk to you. 327 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,945 Please, I need my best friend right now. 328 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,447 I have a fake date with Wade Stellings. 329 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,349 - Say what now? - It's to show everybody 330 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,018 that I'm moving on. 331 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,086 You've done worse for the press. 332 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,122 Just treat it like a work dinner. 333 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,957 Yep. I slept with him. 334 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,760 Oh. 335 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,962 Now this is getting good. 336 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,633 - So what's the problem? - He's a lot younger than me. 337 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,968 And I don't even know who I am with a man anymore. 338 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,438 Would you stop thinking for once? 339 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,640 Geez Louise! Just go have fun. 340 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,443 Nobody deserves that more than you do. 341 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,111 Really? 342 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,247 Really. 343 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,650 You're still a sneaky, conniving bitch, though. 344 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,324 Gigi says now's not the right time for another baby. 345 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,893 And you know how she is. 346 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,463 Yeah, of course I know how she is. 347 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,797 She's a Roman. 348 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,432 She's set in her ways. 349 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501 Well, every day I'm getting closer to showing. 350 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,137 I mean, there is something we haven't talked about. 351 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,672 What? 352 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,607 I mean, Nicky has no say over us. 353 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,676 There is no us, Luke. 354 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,578 That's what I'm saying, there could be. 355 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,680 No, there can't. 356 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,915 You are my brother-in-law. And I am in love 357 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,417 with your sister. 358 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,751 We were a mistake. 359 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,853 And-and at this rate, 360 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,522 next week's Jerry Springer. 361 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,857 You're serious? 362 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,026 You really think that plan of Nicky's is gonna work? 363 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,661 It is ridiculous. 364 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,831 At this point, it's the only hope I've got. 365 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,167 So if you care about me, 366 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,304 please help me hold onto the life I want... 367 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,173 ...with Gigi. 368 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,680 ♪ 369 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,553 (laughter) 370 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,322 Um, thank you for dinner. 371 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,556 Hey, I had fun. 372 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,325 Thank you. 373 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,993 And since our publicists set it up, 374 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,395 it's a tax write-off. 375 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,063 (laughs) 376 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,566 Nicky, I've been crushing on you for years. 377 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,369 I even had your poster up in my dorm room. 378 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,238 I used to fantasize about... 379 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,039 Yeah, you can stop right there. 380 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,974 ...singing with you 381 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,677 - one day. -(giggles) 382 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,314 Hey... 383 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,416 no disrespect to your marriage, but... 384 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,385 I always hoped you'd be single someday. 385 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,919 (chuckles) 386 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,588 I don't know what to say. 387 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,323 Well... 388 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,925 say you'll do a song with me. 389 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,264 Okay. 390 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:18,898 (chuckles) 391 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,501 (crowd cheering) 392 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,436 You ready? 393 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,937 Thank you. 394 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,873 Nicky Roman, ladies and gentlemen. 395 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,008 (Lady A's "Need You Now" playing) 396 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,281 Hey, I'm honored. 397 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,448 Let's hear it. 398 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,919 Picture perfect memories ♪ 399 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,690 -* Scattered all around the floor * - Oh, yeah. 400 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,795 ♪ Reaching for the phone 'cause ♪ 401 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,232 I can't fight it anymore ♪ 402 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,469 BOTH: * And I wonder ♪ 403 00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,740 If I ever cross your mind ♪ 404 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,977 NICKY: * For me it happens ♪ 405 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,980 All the time ♪ 406 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,483 It's a quarter after one ♪ 407 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,652 I'm all alone ♪ 408 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,655 And I need you now ♪ 409 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,326 WADE: * And I said I wouldn't call ♪ 410 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:23,996 ♪ But I'm a little drunk and I need you now ♪ 411 00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:26,999 BOTH: * And I don't know ♪ 412 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,503 How I can do without ♪ 413 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,005 I just need you ♪ 414 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:38,945 Now ♪ 415 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,981 I just need you ♪ 416 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:48,621 Now. ♪ 417 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,258 - There she is. - Thank you. 418 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,127 (clamoring) 419 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,296 Wicky! 420 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,531 Well, that went viral fast. 421 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,667 Given that they've waited all this time in the heat, 422 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,934 might as well give them what they want. 423 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,703 Well, if you insist. 424 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,005 (whooping, cheering) 425 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,210 I'm not that girl on the poster. 426 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,212 Of course you are. 427 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,382 You're exactly like I always thought you'd be. 428 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,387 (cheering, clamoring) 429 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,795 Everybody's shipping "Wicky." 430 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,963 You'll be on next week's cover for sure. 431 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,133 Well, you can send 18 copies to Clive. 432 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,135 One for every single year we were married. 433 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,371 Well, you make the cutest elf. 434 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,706 (chuckles) 435 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,375 That was the best fake date I've ever had. 436 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:46,379 Hey, when you're done practicing your solo, I'll be in my trailer 437 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,581 later if you want to, um, 438 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,651 roast some chestnuts or... something. 439 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,886 - All right. -(phone rings) 440 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,488 Hey, Mom. 441 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,089 Hey. Are you done filming? 442 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,658 Do you want me to pick you up? 443 00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,826 Not yet. 444 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,328 They said we're running late. 445 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,162 Looks like I'm gonna be here until at least midnight. 446 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:04,764 Oh, okay, okay. 447 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,499 Well, then call me as soon as you're done. 448 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,267 I will. Love you. 449 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,170 Hey. 450 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,239 Almost too easy. 451 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,347 (piano playing intro to "Cowboy Take Me Away") 452 00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,083 ♪ 453 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:35,027 ♪ I said I wanna touch the earth ♪ 454 00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:38,197 ♪ I wanna break it in my hands ♪ 455 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,368 I wanna grow something wild ♪ 456 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,471 And unruly ♪ 457 00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:47,874 ♪ I wanna sleep on the hard ground ♪ 458 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:51,711 In the comfort of your arms ♪ 459 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:55,047 On a pillow of blue bonnets ♪ 460 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:58,551 ♪ In a blanket made of stars, oh ♪ 461 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,220 It sounds good ♪ 462 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,823 To me ♪ 463 00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:07,093 I said, cowboy take me ♪ 464 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,562 Away ♪ 465 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,432 Fly this girl as high ♪ 466 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:16,569 ♪ As you can into the wild blue ♪ 467 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:20,573 Set me free, oh ♪ 468 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,109 I pray ♪ 469 00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:26,613 Closer to heaven above ♪ 470 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:30,349 And closer to you ♪ 471 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,153 Closer to you ♪ 472 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:38,491 (vocalizing) 473 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,996 Uh-huh. ♪ 474 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,098 Not enough cowboys around anymore. 475 00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:48,868 Nope. 476 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,837 You know, when I was a kid, I dressed as a cowboy 477 00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,439 for Halloween one year. 478 00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,340 I had a lasso and everything. 479 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:56,175 That's cute. 480 00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,210 You don't strike me as a cowboy. 481 00:22:58,310 --> 00:22:59,779 You don't strike me as someone 482 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,714 who wants a cowboy to take her away. 483 00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:04,984 Well, I'd say everybody wants 484 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,386 a cowboy once in their life. 485 00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,389 I know your mom built this empire 486 00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:13,059 on being the ideal family and all. 487 00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:15,662 But you don't have to be perfect all the time. 488 00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,329 No one is. 489 00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:21,000 My mama always told me that if... 490 00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,302 you act like everything is perfect, 491 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,137 then... 492 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:26,739 it will be. 493 00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:28,641 (chuckles) Don't know if I believe her, but... 494 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,310 Yeah, your mother was a huge loss. 495 00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:33,012 For all of you in different ways. 496 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,815 You talking about my daddy? 497 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,718 I've, I've... tried my best to help him... 498 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,720 Well, no one can be all things to all people 499 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:41,754 without any help. 500 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,823 Have you ever heard of Dottie Roman? 501 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,091 Yeah, well... 502 00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,426 maybe quit worrying about being Dottie. 503 00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,596 And just focus on being Nicky for a change. 504 00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:51,998 Well, that is very easy for you to say. 505 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,501 Supposedly a woman has to... 506 00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,336 be it all, have it all. 507 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,338 Not if she chooses the right cowboy. 508 00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,508 (chuckles) Well, you already 509 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,576 said that... 510 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:06,178 that's not me. 511 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,214 I can take care of myself. 512 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:09,849 I'm sure you can. 513 00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,383 The question is... 514 00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:12,919 why would you want to? 515 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,529 (laughter) 516 00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,232 I can't believe I'm here. 517 00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:28,968 If my mom knew, she'd kill us both. 518 00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:31,103 - Well, should I take you back? - Are you crazy? 519 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,240 Two weeks ago, I was in Albuquerque 520 00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:35,875 studying for my chem finals, 521 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,810 and now I'm here. 522 00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:39,445 With you. 523 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,313 (laughs) 524 00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:43,315 I feel like Cinderella. 525 00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:46,152 Your home is beautiful. 526 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,256 Your whole world is beautiful. 527 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,895 So are you. 528 00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:57,997 (chuckles) 529 00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,605 (both laugh) 530 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,742 (door opens, closes) 531 00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:11,310 KAYLA: They're ready for you. 532 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,648 Look at me. 533 00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:19,752 Every time I do this special, I'm five years old again. 534 00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,755 Nicky is the perfect pretty princess 535 00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:25,625 and I'm the fat gay Nutcracker. 536 00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,927 (laughs) 537 00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,629 I thought my life had moved past this. 538 00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:31,130 Hey. 539 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:32,799 You are my Nutcracker. 540 00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,466 Well... 541 00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:36,468 let's hope you still feel that way after I go out there 542 00:25:36,603 --> 00:25:38,437 and make a big fool of myself. 543 00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:40,840 Then don't. 544 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,942 What do you mean? 545 00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:45,111 Either walk off this set 546 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:48,214 and tell your family you're done being their mascot. 547 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:50,349 Or you quit complaining, you go out there 548 00:25:50,449 --> 00:25:53,019 and you do things your way. 549 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,122 But either way, you just have to be yourself. 550 00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,692 So... 551 00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:01,894 get cracking. 552 00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:15,041 (indistinct chatter) 553 00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:17,810 (indistinct whispering) 554 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,178 - Okay. - Okay. 555 00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,313 (chatter continues) 556 00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:26,986 Y'all been watching Fake Christmas all week. 557 00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:29,155 Well, I'm fixin' to show y'all something real. 558 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,523 (banjo playing intro to "Born This Way") 559 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:35,027 ♪ My mama told me when I was young ♪ 560 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:38,430 We are all born superstars ♪ 561 00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:43,269 ♪ She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on ♪ 562 00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:46,338 In the glass of her boudoir ♪ 563 00:26:48,841 --> 00:26:52,011 ♪ "There's nothing wrong with loving who you are ♪ 564 00:26:52,078 --> 00:26:54,947 ♪ "'Cause he made you perfect, babe ♪ 565 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:59,786 ♪ So hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far" ♪ 566 00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:03,189 Listen to me when I say ♪ 567 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:07,459 ♪ I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes ♪ 568 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:10,429 I'm on the right track, baby ♪ 569 00:27:10,529 --> 00:27:12,631 I was born this way ♪ 570 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,870 ♪ Don't be a drag, just be a queen ♪ 571 00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:20,873 ♪ Don't be a drag, just be a queen, don't be a drag ♪ 572 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:24,310 Just be a queen ♪ 573 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:26,879 (Gigi whoops) 574 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:31,818 (clapping) 575 00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:35,654 ♪ No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgender life ♪ 576 00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:40,059 ♪ I'm on the right track, baby, I was born to survive ♪ 577 00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:43,562 ♪ I was born this way, hey, I was born this way, hey ♪ 578 00:27:43,629 --> 00:27:46,498 I'm on the right track, baby ♪ 579 00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:48,334 I was born this ♪ 580 00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:51,804 Way. ♪ 581 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:56,843 (cheering, applause) 582 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:09,288 I am an old woman ♪ 583 00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:12,124 Named after my mother ♪ 584 00:28:12,258 --> 00:28:15,494 My old man is another ♪ 585 00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:18,865 Child who's grown old ♪ 586 00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:22,301 If dreams were lightning ♪ 587 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:26,438 And thunder were desire ♪ 588 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:29,976 ♪ This old house would've burned down ♪ 589 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:32,979 A long time ago ♪ 590 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:37,283 Make me an angel ♪ 591 00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:40,953 That flies from Montgomery ♪ 592 00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:43,823 Make me a poster ♪ 593 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,558 Of an old rodeo ♪ 594 00:28:48,327 --> 00:28:51,297 Just give me one thing ♪ 595 00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:54,633 That I can hold on to ♪ 596 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,837 To believe in this livin' ♪ 597 00:28:57,904 --> 00:29:02,008 Is just a hard way to go ♪ 598 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,676 To believe in this livin' ♪ 599 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:09,248 Is just a hard way to go. ♪ 600 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,421 It's real good, Albie. 601 00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:19,725 I'm gonna have to wrap this up. 602 00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,727 Family is gathering 603 00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:23,495 for... 604 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:26,365 Fake Christmas dinner tonight. 605 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,268 Much as I'd rather be anywhere else. 606 00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:33,039 Care to join us? 607 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,174 Oh, I-I think the Roman family's had 608 00:29:35,241 --> 00:29:37,509 their fill of me for the moment, but thank you. 609 00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:41,447 Nicky worries about you, you know. 610 00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:46,218 Well, I can't say she's wrong to. 611 00:29:46,352 --> 00:29:49,856 Haven't quite been myself since Dot passed. 612 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,524 Holidays can be hard. 613 00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:53,792 Even fake ones. 614 00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,896 I never knew my father. 615 00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:59,798 He was out of the picture before I was three. 616 00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:02,034 But it doesn't make it any easier, 617 00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:03,469 especially around the holidays. 618 00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:05,905 What's your point, son? 619 00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:08,807 This Fake Christmas dinner-- 620 00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,977 your family's gonna be missing Dottie. 621 00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:14,246 Don't let 'em miss you, too. 622 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,250 ♪ 623 00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:21,720 (door opens, closes) 624 00:30:21,787 --> 00:30:24,456 - All right. - Right. 625 00:30:24,590 --> 00:30:26,058 You sure you're ready for this? 626 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,060 Fake Christmas without Mama? 627 00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:30,296 Hell, it'll probably be easier than it was with her. 628 00:30:30,429 --> 00:30:32,598 Just promise me you'll go easier on Nicky 629 00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:34,901 than you did at that Christmas set. Please. 630 00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,102 Can I ask you? 631 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,770 Do you think I can really do this? 632 00:30:38,905 --> 00:30:42,074 Become a performer and still stay true to who I am? 633 00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:44,076 If anyone can, it's you. 634 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,512 Even with two kids? 635 00:30:50,449 --> 00:30:51,783 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 636 00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:54,020 Why not ask Luke to help us out? 637 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,422 As much as my siblings drive me crazy, 638 00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,790 I'd still hate for Summer to be without one. 639 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,593 Okay. (squeals, laughs) 640 00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:03,262 (both laughing) 641 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,365 ("Jingle Bells" playing) 642 00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:09,301 Nellie. 643 00:31:09,435 --> 00:31:10,937 - Mm. - You have been a busy bee. 644 00:31:11,003 --> 00:31:13,372 Have y'all seen her new QVC commercial? 645 00:31:13,472 --> 00:31:15,874 I bought the entire Nellie Bean collection. 646 00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:17,809 -(laughter) - And I don't even wear lingerie. 647 00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:18,978 (laughter) 648 00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:20,312 Not often, anyway. 649 00:31:20,446 --> 00:31:21,981 (laughter) 650 00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:24,316 Thank you, sugar. Well, I think you'd look fine 651 00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:28,454 in my signature cream soda beige negligee. 652 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,990 (chuckles softly) It's authentic faux silk. 653 00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:33,993 I got something I want to say. 654 00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,328 Albie Roman giving a toast? 655 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,964 This is a Christmas miracle. 656 00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:39,999 I just want to take a minute 657 00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:42,801 to appreciate 658 00:31:42,868 --> 00:31:45,004 the woman that brought us all together. 659 00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:46,672 Dottie Roman made up a fake holiday, 660 00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:50,342 but she did it so we'd spend some real time together. 661 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,311 So I hereby promise 662 00:31:52,378 --> 00:31:56,648 on this holy night of Fake Christmas Eve 663 00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:59,651 to step up and help guide this family into the future 664 00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:01,187 like Mama would've wanted. 665 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,189 Merry Fake Christmas, everybody. 666 00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,191 - Merry Fake Christmas. -(overlapping chatter) 667 00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:06,993 So, time for presents? 668 00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:08,995 -(chuckling) - Unfortunately, won't be any 669 00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:11,363 of Dottie's homemade scarves this year. 670 00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:13,765 Another Christmas miracle. 671 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:17,836 (indistinct, overlapping chatter) 672 00:32:17,903 --> 00:32:20,206 - For me? - Yeah. 673 00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:23,109 Everybody, so... 674 00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:26,012 there's gonna be a new elf on the shelf next year. 675 00:32:26,078 --> 00:32:27,713 We're trying for another baby. 676 00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,382 (squealing, laughter) 677 00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:34,220 Who's the father this time? 678 00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:36,222 - Luke. - Wait, what? 679 00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:39,058 Just don't think about it too hard. Just let it go. 680 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,892 (quiet chatter) 681 00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:42,228 GIGI: Thank you, Daddy. 682 00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:44,363 (laughter, chatter continues) 683 00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,465 -(insects trilling) -(door opens) 684 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:50,402 Merry Christmas, Uncle Luke. 685 00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:53,572 Doesn't quite have the same ring as "Dad," does it? 686 00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,608 I know. 687 00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:59,745 But it's better this way for everyone. 688 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,249 Listen, I... 689 00:33:03,382 --> 00:33:04,916 I know you're dealing with a lot. 690 00:33:05,051 --> 00:33:06,752 Mama. Clive. 691 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:09,755 Now I'm gonna add another problem to your pile. 692 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,823 I got a call today 693 00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:14,593 from the assistant prosecutor of Travis County. 694 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,295 They want a meeting. 695 00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:18,930 - Why? - The level of opiates 696 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,599 in Mama's system. 697 00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:22,234 They won't let it go. 698 00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:24,336 - They have questions. - Well, you tell them 699 00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:25,837 the truth-- that you weren't there, 700 00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:27,773 you don't know what happened and you don't know who was. 701 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,408 I'm sorry, Nick, if I wasn't clear. 702 00:33:29,475 --> 00:33:32,111 The prosecutor's questions are for you. 703 00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,246 ♪ ♪ 704 00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:47,793 - You done for the night? -(shuts door) 705 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,961 - Yeah. - Mm. 706 00:33:51,330 --> 00:33:52,531 Mm. 707 00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:55,701 So you really did have to work late. 708 00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,137 This time. 709 00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:01,107 You knew? 710 00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:02,274 Mm-hmm. 711 00:34:02,341 --> 00:34:03,975 I called set last night to check on you. 712 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,811 They told me they released you hours ago. 713 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,713 Ana, 714 00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:10,149 you're not gonna be a star by sleeping with that boy. 715 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:11,983 I didn't. Not even close. 716 00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:14,153 (sighs) 717 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,722 - It's just that... -(sighs) 718 00:34:18,290 --> 00:34:20,392 I know people like the Romans. 719 00:34:20,492 --> 00:34:22,794 They use people and they toss them out. 720 00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:26,165 And I won't let them do that to you. 721 00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,168 Do you understand? 722 00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:32,338 ("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing) 723 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,473 (quiet chatter) 724 00:34:38,043 --> 00:34:39,678 DIRECTOR: Okay, Albie. Ready. 725 00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:41,847 And action. 726 00:34:43,149 --> 00:34:44,850 Y'all may not know this, 727 00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:49,020 but I've never been one for Fake Christmas 728 00:34:49,155 --> 00:34:51,523 or real Christmas, for that matter. 729 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:54,560 Dottie Roman changed all that. 730 00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:57,196 And even though she's not here in person tonight, 731 00:34:57,263 --> 00:35:01,200 her spirit will be part of this special forever. 732 00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:05,003 So happy holidays from us, 733 00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:06,872 and, like Santa, 734 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:10,609 the Roman family will always be here for you on Christmas, 735 00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:12,378 fake or otherwise. 736 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:15,013 ("Silent Night" playing) 737 00:35:22,188 --> 00:35:26,057 Silent night ♪ 738 00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:30,061 Holy night ♪ 739 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:34,099 All is calm ♪ 740 00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:38,036 All is bright ♪ 741 00:35:38,103 --> 00:35:42,073 Round yon virgin ♪ 742 00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:45,911 Mother and child ♪ 743 00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:49,548 Holy infant ♪ 744 00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:54,052 So tender and mild ♪ 745 00:35:54,119 --> 00:35:58,224 Sleep in heavenly ♪ 746 00:35:58,290 --> 00:36:02,093 Peace ♪ 747 00:36:02,228 --> 00:36:06,232 Sleep in heavenly ♪ 748 00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:10,602 Peace ♪ 749 00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:18,109 Silent night ♪ 750 00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:22,080 Holy night ♪ 751 00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:26,084 Shepherds quake ♪ 752 00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:30,088 At the sight ♪ 753 00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:34,326 Glories stream ♪ 754 00:36:34,460 --> 00:36:38,129 From heaven afar ♪ 755 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:41,767 Heavenly hosts ♪ 756 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:45,604 Sing hallelujah ♪ 757 00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:49,174 Christ the Savior ♪ 758 00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:54,145 Is born ♪ 759 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:57,516 Christ the Savior ♪ 760 00:36:57,649 --> 00:37:01,487 Is born ♪ 761 00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:06,124 -* Ooh... * -* Ooh... ♪ 762 00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:09,961 Radiant beams ♪ 763 00:37:10,028 --> 00:37:14,165 -* From Thy holy face * -* Ooh... ♪ 764 00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,902 With the dawn ♪ 765 00:37:17,002 --> 00:37:22,073 Of redeeming grace ♪ 766 00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:25,311 Jesus Lord ♪ 767 00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:30,316 At Thy birth ♪ 768 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,250 Merry Fake Christmas, baby. 769 00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:35,521 Jesus Lord ♪ 770 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:40,326 At Thy birth ♪ 771 00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:49,034 Mmm... ♪ 772 00:37:52,237 --> 00:37:54,873 Beautiful, beautiful! That's a wrap, folks! 773 00:37:55,006 --> 00:37:56,908 (applause, cheering) 774 00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,211 - Great job, everyone! -(indistinct chatter) 775 00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:04,383 (crickets chirping) 776 00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,251 -(fire crackling) - Oh. Thank you. 777 00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:07,686 (chuckles softly) 778 00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,220 A little late, Albie. 779 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,557 What's so important that it couldn't wait? 780 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,858 Sit down, Nell. 781 00:38:19,264 --> 00:38:22,267 You and Dot were thick as thieves. 782 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:25,604 All right. 783 00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,374 Dottie said something fore she passed. 784 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,976 She said that she'd done something. 785 00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:32,310 Something... 786 00:38:32,411 --> 00:38:34,079 that was unforgivable. 787 00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,314 Well, it was Dottie. 788 00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,617 We might want to narrow that down a touch. 789 00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,785 Nellie. 790 00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:41,753 Think. 791 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:43,589 This is important. 792 00:38:45,424 --> 00:38:46,458 (sighs) You know... 793 00:38:46,592 --> 00:38:47,593 (sighs) 794 00:38:47,726 --> 00:38:49,595 She swore me to secrecy. 795 00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:53,064 A sister's loyalty survives death. 796 00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,100 You live rent-free on my property. 797 00:38:55,233 --> 00:38:57,603 You got loyalty to me, too, Nell. 798 00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:08,647 You remember that barn fire 40 or so years ago? 799 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,417 Yeah, I was on tour. It burned to the ground. 800 00:39:11,483 --> 00:39:13,752 And... 801 00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:15,787 and you were told that Rosa, 802 00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:17,022 your lady friend, 803 00:39:17,122 --> 00:39:19,157 caused that fire... 804 00:39:20,325 --> 00:39:21,860 ...and ran off 805 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,029 so she wouldn't be blamed. 806 00:39:24,129 --> 00:39:25,130 That's right. 807 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,132 Because that was Dottie's story. 808 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:28,634 And no one questioned her. 809 00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:31,637 But let me ask you this. 810 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:36,307 How do you think Dottie's horses got out safe? 811 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,143 Ahead of time? 812 00:39:43,815 --> 00:39:44,683 (distorted yelling) 813 00:39:44,816 --> 00:39:46,151 ♪ 814 00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,990 Rosa didn't cause that fire. 815 00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,795 And she didn't run off. 816 00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:00,499 (distorted yelling) 817 00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,802 ♪ 818 00:40:06,972 --> 00:40:08,807 (screaming) 819 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:12,978 ♪ 820 00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:25,056 She died in that fire. 821 00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:29,528 Just as Dottie intended. 822 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,663 No. No. 823 00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,198 No, she wouldn't have. 824 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:36,201 Lord knows she had a temper, but come on, Nell. 825 00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:39,671 She saw Rosa as a threat to your future together. 826 00:40:39,738 --> 00:40:41,172 Your family. 827 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,009 The dynasty she was building. 828 00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,044 She didn't have to worry. 829 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:49,515 Rosa wasn't a threat to anything. 830 00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:54,219 Well, Dottie didn't like to take chances. 831 00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:02,561 Good night. 832 00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:06,698 (door opens, closes) 833 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,581 - So, what now? -(sighs) 834 00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:24,750 Daddy. 835 00:41:25,717 --> 00:41:27,586 Go inside. 836 00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:29,888 Hug your babies. 837 00:41:29,955 --> 00:41:31,990 Try to get some sleep. 838 00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:34,392 And the rest... 839 00:41:34,459 --> 00:41:37,262 is tomorrow's problem. 840 00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:41,567 (exhales) 841 00:41:46,271 --> 00:41:49,741 ♪ 842 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,093 ♪ 843 00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:27,012 ♪ 844 00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,152 Hey. 845 00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:35,553 Ace? 846 00:42:35,654 --> 00:42:37,455 Hey, what are you... 847 00:42:37,522 --> 00:42:38,657 what are you doing? 848 00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,032 I saw it all. 849 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,169 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 850 00:42:51,219 --> 00:42:55,769 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 58754

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