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00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,238
Previously on Monarch...
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,274
You broke my heart ♪
3
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,777
My body and mind. ♪
4
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,679
- You stole mama's song!
- You mean before you could?
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,647
Of course you helped Mama die.
6
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,616
You're just like her.
7
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,452
Wade, you got a song for me?
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,254
My style does tend more
towards the, uh...
9
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,790
Lovesick young cowboy?
10
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,825
Jamie Burke,
producer out of Atlanta.
11
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:25,859
Yeah, charmed.
12
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,628
JAMIE:
Nicky, you're so talented.
13
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,530
I want you to know it really is
14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,765
a pleasure meeting you.
15
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,034
I feel terrible doing this
to Gigi.
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00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,769
LUKE:
-hat's what you said last time. -T
17
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,705
NICKY:
How far along are you?
18
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,440
Luke doesn't even know yet.
19
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,309
Dottie was being blackmailed.
20
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,877
$50,000 a month, every month.
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00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,679
You tell 'em that Albie Roman
22
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,815
ain't paying 'em another cent.
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00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,818
♪
24
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,558
(car alarm chirps)
25
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,411
♪
26
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,668
(line rings, clicks)
27
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,371
It's done.
28
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,538
(beeps)
29
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,875
(engine starts)
30
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,257
♪
31
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,275
Pretty as the day
I first met you.
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You are too sweet.
33
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,716
Come on, sugar.
34
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,093
WOMAN:
Right in there.
35
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,095
-(door opens)
- MARTY: Thank you.
36
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,932
I got here as quick
as I could.
37
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,735
Any luck figuring out
who these blackmailers are?
38
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,404
Like I said, they're pros.
39
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,607
Communication's airtight.
End-to-end encryption,
40
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,409
asymmetric algorithms.
41
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,910
In English.
42
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,447
They're ciphers.
Impossible to trace.
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00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,114
(sighs)
44
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,284
Then I want you
to set up a meeting.
45
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,452
What? No, Albie...
46
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,620
I want to meet
these vultures in person.
47
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,756
And look 'em in the eye.
48
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,125
They're gonna pay
for the pain they caused her.
49
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,695
Albie, I don't think
you understand.
50
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,630
These people are dangerous.
51
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,300
Here's
what you don't understand.
52
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,869
So am I.
53
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,811
Excuse me, what are
you doing in here? Hey!
54
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,813
Clive!
55
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,648
Well, I'm making a ginger
and turmeric smoothie.
56
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,317
They say it improves your mood.
57
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,819
Well, it is certainly
not improving mine.
58
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,722
Do you think two weeks in
the guest house is gonna, like,
59
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,156
make me forget who you are?
60
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,225
Actually, the time apart's
been quite the revelation.
61
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,227
See, we all knew
that your mother
62
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,663
had terminal cancer, but, uh...
63
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,833
I always wondered...
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00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,803
how she passed so quickly.
65
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,671
And now I know.
66
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,340
You killed her.
67
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,675
I did not kill her.
68
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,644
And I have the proof.
69
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:07,014
Oxycodone, Nick,
which you gave to her, no doubt.
70
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,851
I helped her open the bottle
is what I did.
71
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,185
That's a distinction
known only to you, me,
72
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,354
and Dottie-- God rest her soul.
73
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,022
What do you want?
74
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,424
Penthouse suite,
75
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,191
200 grand walking-around money.
76
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,027
Ah, to start.
77
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,663
Are you insane?
It's what she wanted.
78
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,197
Or maybe you wanted
to be Queen of Country
79
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,033
just a little bit sooner
than Dottie was ready
80
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,502
to relinquish the crown.
81
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,944
♪
82
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,219
(Gigi groans)
83
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,055
It's hot as hell.
84
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,890
Somebody please remind me
why we shoot
85
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,960
the Roman Family Christmas
special in July again?
86
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,396
ALBIE:
You know why. 'Cause Christmas
87
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,030
was your mama's
favorite holiday,
88
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,766
and this way she could
have it twice a year.
89
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,635
And so a Roman tradition
was born.
90
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,538
Fake Christmas.
91
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,274
Which brings us
to why we're all here.
92
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,077
We are gonna be filming the
special all week, and viewership
93
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,412
has been a little off lately.
94
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,914
No kidding.
This show is so dated.
95
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,749
All we're missing is VCRs
96
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,419
and "Re-elect Reagan" spots.
97
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,754
It may be old-fashioned,
but Mama loved tradition, so...
98
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,990
You know what else Mama liked?
Ratings.
99
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,426
So why don't we bring this show
100
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,928
into the 21st century?
You know, maybe update it
101
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,399
- for the under-80 crowd.
- Spoken like a true millennial.
102
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,434
Are you two still mad
at each other over the rodeo?
103
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,603
- I'm not mad at her.
- Why would she be?
104
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,137
She's the one
who stole my song.
105
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,272
And now
it's number one on Spotify.
106
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,441
Technically, it was Mama's song.
107
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,242
Technically, you're a thieving,
108
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,844
backstabbing bitch.
109
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,013
Good, this is just
that Christmas spirit I love.
110
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,148
Enough.
111
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,119
This special is a tradition
that your mama loved.
112
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,087
But, Daddy, everyone knows
113
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,790
- you never liked it.
- But your mama did.
114
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,292
Half of a marriage
is partnership.
115
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,795
And the other half...
116
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,497
is keeping your mouth shut.
117
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,999
I'll see y'all at the studio.
118
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,703
(country version
of "Away in a Manger" playing)
119
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,347
(groans)
Look at me.
120
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,817
Is this really
the image that you want
121
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,720
for one of Monarch's
hottest up-and-coming acts?
122
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,155
You look adorable.
123
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,657
That's what the fans want.
124
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,659
Do you even know
who my fans are?
125
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,695
They're single moms
and lesbians.
126
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,129
They don't care about adorable.
127
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,165
They want honest and real.
128
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,701
Geeg, I don't know why you
complain about this every year.
129
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,836
- It's...
- It's tradition, yeah, I know.
130
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,473
Just like toxic masculinity
and the Confederacy.
131
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,176
CARINEH:
You're really not gonna like what Clive's done now.
132
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,344
NICKY:
Unbelievable.
133
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,814
I-I call him out for cheating,
and then...
134
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,149
he's the hot stud
and I'm, what am I?
135
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,987
I'm, oh, I'm pathetic
and I can't move on.
136
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,222
- Who is she?
- Some young skank. Who cares?
137
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,858
You need to show your fans
you've moved on
138
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,827
right now.
139
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:09,396
- I mean, you have.
- You mean Wade?
140
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:12,165
That's just...
It was just some fling.
141
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,567
I'm not judging you, sweetie.
142
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,869
But there's a double standard.
I mean,
143
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,872
Clive can whore it up all over
town and his stock goes up.
144
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,510
You need to...
bravely open yourself up
145
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,277
to a new relationship.
146
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,046
Something people can root for.
147
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,182
Go public as a couple with Wade.
148
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,884
But we're not a couple.
149
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,520
And the Romans aren't
the perfect family
150
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,188
that sit around the fire
and sip eggnog
151
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,924
and sing "Frosty the Snowman."
152
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,059
But people want to believe
what they want to believe.
153
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,028
So...
154
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,030
You, what, you want me to go...
155
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,232
out on a fake date?
156
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,734
As your publicist, I think
157
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,802
you and Wade
will keep you exciting,
158
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,572
yet still wholesome
and aspirational.
159
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,140
As your friend, I know
that you and Wade will give
160
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,908
Clive a taste
of his own medicine.
161
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,077
- I'll think about it.
- Well, don't think too long.
162
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,478
Clive is probably making out
with at least
163
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,380
one of the Kardashians
as we speak.
164
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:05,418
♪
165
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,831
Where the hell are they?
166
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,235
They ain't coming.
167
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,742
Everybody's a badass
till they ain't.
168
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,620
♪
169
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,312
NICKY: Listen, I know we're all
usy with the Christmas special, b
170
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,280
but we need to talk.
171
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,516
My sister may be
a giant pain in the ass
172
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,519
who hates my guts right now,
but I am not...
173
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,521
gonna sit quietly
in the background
174
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,323
when her entire future
175
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,959
with the only woman she ever
loved hangs in the balance
176
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,994
Nicky, I love her, too.
177
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,863
- We all do.
- Right, because
178
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,297
nothing says I love you more
179
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,166
than sleeping
with the brother-in-law.
180
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,702
Listen, this wasn't
some sordid affair.
181
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,671
All right, there are
real feelings here.
182
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,873
Yeah, but it was
a mistake, obviously.
183
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,542
We're deeply sorry
for it and it's done.
184
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,177
Good, because right now we have
185
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,246
a much bigger problem
that's harder to hide.
186
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,381
A baby.
187
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,216
Yeah, well, Gigi and I have been
wanting another one, so...
188
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,018
I know, which leads me to why
189
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,887
I invited you both here,
because I think
190
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:50,190
I might have a solution that,
that suits all of us.
191
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,560
So listen up
and keep an open mind.
192
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,029
("Deck the Halls" playing
on piano)
193
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,104
Oh, "Deck the Halls,"
how original.
194
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,073
Psst.
195
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,908
Yay.
196
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,677
What brings you by here?
197
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,044
This is such a surprise.
198
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,080
What, I need an excuse
to come visit my wife?
199
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,216
Oh, I see, you want something.
200
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,218
- I get it.
- No.
201
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,053
I just, um...
202
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,589
I've been thinking
a lot about our plan...
203
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,057
to have another baby.
204
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,358
Really?
205
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,060
Right now?
206
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,229
I know it sounds crazy,
207
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,932
but since we decided I'd carry,
208
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,701
what if we fast-track
this whole thing
209
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,236
and ask Luke to be our donor?
210
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,571
Luke? My brother?
211
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,908
Chiseled CEO
212
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,810
with a daddy complex Luke?
213
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,411
I know, I...
214
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,613
Well, what made you think
of him?
215
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,448
It's common to ask a relative
or a close friend.
216
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,983
Okay, but
217
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,651
I'm not sure if having
218
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,954
another baby right now
is a great idea.
219
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,824
I-I'm trying to light a fire
under my career.
220
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,625
Why the rush?
221
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,794
We have all the time
in the world.
222
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,462
MAN:
Gigi, we need you on set.
223
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,431
- Got to go.
- Oh. Bye.
224
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,566
Bye, honey.
225
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,273
I guess
when you're rich and famous,
226
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,275
you're allowed to have
two Christmases.
227
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,745
Amazing.
228
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,479
Mom.
229
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,249
- Is that Wade Stellings?
- It is.
230
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,785
I told you
everybody would be here.
231
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,087
And now you are, too.
(laughs)
232
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,188
Hey, there.
233
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,591
You ready to pretend
it's Christmas?
234
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,326
Hi.
235
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,661
It's, um...
236
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,964
It's good to see you again.
237
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,336
It is, but now I believe
238
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,972
we're late
for our wardrobe fitting.
239
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,342
This isn't the junior prom.
240
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,211
We're here for one reason
and one reason only.
241
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,679
To work.
242
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,815
Not to meet cute boys.
243
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,722
- Bye.
- Roman Family Christmas
244
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,058
has been Stellings family
viewing since I was little.
245
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,828
My mama called it
"comfort food for the soul."
246
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,030
She can't believe
I'm a guest star.
247
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,664
We're lucky to have you.
248
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,333
Maybe next time
you'll ask me yourself.
249
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,971
All right, so this isn't
about the Christmas special.
250
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,673
You didn't have to have our
publicists arrange another date.
251
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,543
You could have just asked.
I mean, I have seen you naked.
252
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,545
Yeah, and it was fun.
253
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,848
But I'm not
a one-night-stand kind of girl.
254
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,984
That's why my publicist reached
out-- it's a fake date, PR.
255
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,053
I'm not here for fake anything.
256
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,188
All right, why are you here?
257
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,224
For you.
258
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,026
Bye.
259
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,497
Thank you.
260
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,236
All right.
261
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,574
Hi.
262
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,910
You doing okay?
263
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,747
I know Fake Christmas isn't
the same without Mama.
264
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,250
Nothing's the same without Mama.
265
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,918
What's wrong, Daddy?
266
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:08,455
Well, it's like this.
Your mother...
267
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,457
she was being blackmailed.
268
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,893
What? How do you know that?
269
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,262
Marty.
270
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,897
Said it'd been going on
for the...
271
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,431
better part
of the last ten years.
272
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,600
Well, I don't understand.
273
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,602
Wh-Who? And why?
274
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,872
"Who" is on my to-do list.
275
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,940
But "why"?
276
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,709
I think she was protecting me.
277
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,080
My affair.
278
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,781
You know,
the one I told you about.
279
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,283
That was years ago.
280
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,417
Somebody must've known.
281
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,785
And you know your mother.
282
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,388
The Roman image was
important to her,
283
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,823
at... at any expense.
284
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,592
I don't think that was it.
285
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,796
The night Mama passed,
she said something to me.
286
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,465
I've done things
that can never
287
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,302
be forgiven.
288
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,270
I didn't know...
289
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,007
what it meant.
I-I still don't, but...
290
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,475
it wasn't about you.
291
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,811
I think Mama may have
secrets of her own.
292
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,660
Another lump of coal
for you, Gigi.
293
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,629
That's okay, Nicky.
294
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,132
'Cause coal turns
into diamonds.
295
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,167
And like Mama always said,
296
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,136
your luck is what you make it.
297
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,205
- And Mama turned her luck...
- Ridiculous.
298
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:36,043
They're grown women now.
299
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,811
(laughs):
Oh, don't, don't be a grinch.
300
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,181
They're helping people
feel better about their lives.
301
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,516
We're the first family
of country music.
302
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,518
And that's degrading.
303
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,720
Look, all right, I know you
never had any of this
304
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,222
when you were growing up.
305
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,890
You had no Christmas,
no music...
306
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,560
no love.
307
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,296
But even though our girls
are out there pretending,
308
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,897
the audience,
309
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,200
what they're feeling is real.
310
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:03,236
Real love, real joy.
311
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,473
Just what I feel every morning
when I wake up with you.
312
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,142
Now don't you think
everybody is entitled
313
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,910
to have just
a little bit of that?
314
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,246
What would I be without you?
315
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,382
Oh, you'd be fine.
316
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,051
And you're never gonna have
to find out because
317
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,820
I'm always gonna be with you.
318
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,193
NICKY:
And Mama turned her luck
319
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,928
into a lot of diamonds.
320
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,064
Mm-hmm.
321
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,599
Cut!
322
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,234
Check it.
323
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,702
Hey, Geeg?
324
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,904
Do not follow me.
325
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,907
Or I'm gonna show you where
to shove that lump of coal.
326
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,442
All right, well,
I need to talk to you.
327
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,945
Please, I need
my best friend right now.
328
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,447
I have a fake date
with Wade Stellings.
329
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,349
- Say what now?
- It's to show everybody
330
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,018
that I'm moving on.
331
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,086
You've done worse for the press.
332
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,122
Just treat it
like a work dinner.
333
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,957
Yep. I slept with him.
334
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,760
Oh.
335
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,962
Now this is getting good.
336
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,633
- So what's the problem?
- He's a lot younger than me.
337
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,968
And I don't even know
who I am with a man anymore.
338
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,438
Would you stop thinking
for once?
339
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,640
Geez Louise! Just go have fun.
340
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,443
Nobody deserves that
more than you do.
341
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,111
Really?
342
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,247
Really.
343
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,650
You're still a sneaky,
conniving bitch, though.
344
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,324
Gigi says now's not
the right time for another baby.
345
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,893
And you know how she is.
346
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,463
Yeah, of course I know
how she is.
347
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,797
She's a Roman.
348
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,432
She's set in her ways.
349
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501
Well, every day I'm getting
closer to showing.
350
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,137
I mean, there is something
we haven't talked about.
351
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,672
What?
352
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,607
I mean, Nicky has
no say over us.
353
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,676
There is no us, Luke.
354
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,578
That's what I'm saying,
there could be.
355
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,680
No, there can't.
356
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,915
You are my brother-in-law.
And I am in love
357
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,417
with your sister.
358
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,751
We were a mistake.
359
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,853
And-and at this rate,
360
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,522
next week's Jerry Springer.
361
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,857
You're serious?
362
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,026
You really think that plan
of Nicky's is gonna work?
363
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,661
It is ridiculous.
364
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,831
At this point,
it's the only hope I've got.
365
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,167
So if you care about me,
366
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,304
please help me hold
onto the life I want...
367
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,173
...with Gigi.
368
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,680
♪
369
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,553
(laughter)
370
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,322
Um, thank you for dinner.
371
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,556
Hey, I had fun.
372
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,325
Thank you.
373
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,993
And since our publicists
set it up,
374
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,395
it's a tax write-off.
375
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,063
(laughs)
376
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,566
Nicky, I've been crushing
on you for years.
377
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,369
I even had your poster up
in my dorm room.
378
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,238
I used to fantasize about...
379
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,039
Yeah, you can stop right there.
380
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,974
...singing with you
381
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,677
- one day.
-(giggles)
382
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,314
Hey...
383
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,416
no disrespect
to your marriage, but...
384
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,385
I always hoped
you'd be single someday.
385
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,919
(chuckles)
386
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,588
I don't know what to say.
387
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,323
Well...
388
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,925
say you'll do a song with me.
389
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,264
Okay.
390
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:18,898
(chuckles)
391
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,501
(crowd cheering)
392
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,436
You ready?
393
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,937
Thank you.
394
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,873
Nicky Roman,
ladies and gentlemen.
395
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,008
(Lady A's "Need You Now"
playing)
396
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,281
Hey, I'm honored.
397
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,448
Let's hear it.
398
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,919
Picture perfect memories ♪
399
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,690
-* Scattered
all around the floor * - Oh, yeah.
400
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,795
♪ Reaching for the phone
'cause ♪
401
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,232
I can't fight it anymore ♪
402
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,469
BOTH:
* And I wonder ♪
403
00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,740
If I ever cross your mind ♪
404
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,977
NICKY:
* For me it happens ♪
405
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,980
All the time ♪
406
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,483
It's a quarter after one ♪
407
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,652
I'm all alone ♪
408
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,655
And I need you now ♪
409
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,326
WADE:
* And I said I wouldn't call ♪
410
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:23,996
♪ But I'm a little drunk
and I need you now ♪
411
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:26,999
BOTH:
* And I don't know ♪
412
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,503
How I can do without ♪
413
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,005
I just need you ♪
414
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:38,945
Now ♪
415
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,981
I just need you ♪
416
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:48,621
Now. ♪
417
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,258
- There she is.
- Thank you.
418
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,127
(clamoring)
419
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,296
Wicky!
420
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,531
Well, that went viral fast.
421
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,667
Given that they've waited
all this time in the heat,
422
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,934
might as well give them
what they want.
423
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,703
Well, if you insist.
424
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,005
(whooping, cheering)
425
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,210
I'm not that girl on the poster.
426
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,212
Of course you are.
427
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,382
You're exactly like
I always thought you'd be.
428
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,387
(cheering, clamoring)
429
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,795
Everybody's shipping "Wicky."
430
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,963
You'll be on next week's cover
for sure.
431
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,133
Well, you can send
18 copies to Clive.
432
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,135
One for every single year
we were married.
433
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,371
Well, you make the cutest elf.
434
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,706
(chuckles)
435
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,375
That was the best fake date
I've ever had.
436
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:46,379
Hey, when you're done practicing
your solo, I'll be in my trailer
437
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,581
later if you want to, um,
438
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,651
roast some chestnuts
or... something.
439
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,886
- All right.
-(phone rings)
440
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,488
Hey, Mom.
441
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,089
Hey. Are you done filming?
442
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,658
Do you want me to pick you up?
443
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,826
Not yet.
444
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,328
They said we're running late.
445
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,162
Looks like I'm gonna be here
until at least midnight.
446
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:04,764
Oh, okay, okay.
447
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,499
Well, then call me
as soon as you're done.
448
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,267
I will. Love you.
449
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,170
Hey.
450
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,239
Almost too easy.
451
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,347
(piano playing intro
to "Cowboy Take Me Away")
452
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,083
♪
453
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:35,027
♪ I said I wanna touch
the earth ♪
454
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:38,197
♪ I wanna break it
in my hands ♪
455
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,368
I wanna grow something wild ♪
456
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,471
And unruly ♪
457
00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:47,874
♪ I wanna sleep
on the hard ground ♪
458
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:51,711
In the comfort of your arms ♪
459
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:55,047
On a pillow of blue bonnets ♪
460
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:58,551
♪ In a blanket
made of stars, oh ♪
461
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,220
It sounds good ♪
462
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,823
To me ♪
463
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:07,093
I said, cowboy take me ♪
464
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,562
Away ♪
465
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,432
Fly this girl as high ♪
466
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:16,569
♪ As you can
into the wild blue ♪
467
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:20,573
Set me free, oh ♪
468
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,109
I pray ♪
469
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:26,613
Closer to heaven above ♪
470
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:30,349
And closer to you ♪
471
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,153
Closer to you ♪
472
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:38,491
(vocalizing)
473
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,996
Uh-huh. ♪
474
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,098
Not enough cowboys
around anymore.
475
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:48,868
Nope.
476
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,837
You know, when I was a kid,
I dressed as a cowboy
477
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,439
for Halloween one year.
478
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,340
I had a lasso and everything.
479
00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:56,175
That's cute.
480
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,210
You don't strike me as a cowboy.
481
00:22:58,310 --> 00:22:59,779
You don't strike me as someone
482
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,714
who wants a cowboy
to take her away.
483
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:04,984
Well, I'd say everybody wants
484
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,386
a cowboy once in their life.
485
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,389
I know your mom built
this empire
486
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:13,059
on being the ideal family
and all.
487
00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:15,662
But you don't have
to be perfect all the time.
488
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,329
No one is.
489
00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:21,000
My mama always told me
that if...
490
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,302
you act
like everything is perfect,
491
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,137
then...
492
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:26,739
it will be.
493
00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:28,641
(chuckles) Don't know
if I believe her, but...
494
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,310
Yeah, your mother was
a huge loss.
495
00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:33,012
For all of you
in different ways.
496
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,815
You talking about my daddy?
497
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,718
I've, I've...
tried my best to help him...
498
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,720
Well, no one can be
all things to all people
499
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:41,754
without any help.
500
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,823
Have you ever heard
of Dottie Roman?
501
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,091
Yeah, well...
502
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,426
maybe quit worrying
about being Dottie.
503
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,596
And just focus on being Nicky
for a change.
504
00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:51,998
Well, that is very easy
for you to say.
505
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,501
Supposedly a woman has to...
506
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,336
be it all, have it all.
507
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,338
Not if she chooses
the right cowboy.
508
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,508
(chuckles)
Well, you already
509
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,576
said that...
510
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:06,178
that's not me.
511
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,214
I can take care of myself.
512
00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:09,849
I'm sure you can.
513
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,383
The question is...
514
00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:12,919
why would you want to?
515
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,529
(laughter)
516
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,232
I can't believe I'm here.
517
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:28,968
If my mom knew,
she'd kill us both.
518
00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:31,103
- Well, should I take you back?
- Are you crazy?
519
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,240
Two weeks ago,
I was in Albuquerque
520
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:35,875
studying for my chem finals,
521
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,810
and now I'm here.
522
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:39,445
With you.
523
00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,313
(laughs)
524
00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:43,315
I feel like Cinderella.
525
00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:46,152
Your home is beautiful.
526
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,256
Your whole world is beautiful.
527
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,895
So are you.
528
00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:57,997
(chuckles)
529
00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,605
(both laugh)
530
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,742
(door opens, closes)
531
00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:11,310
KAYLA:
They're ready for you.
532
00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,648
Look at me.
533
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:19,752
Every time I do this special,
I'm five years old again.
534
00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,755
Nicky is the perfect
pretty princess
535
00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:25,625
and I'm the fat gay Nutcracker.
536
00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,927
(laughs)
537
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,629
I thought my life
had moved past this.
538
00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:31,130
Hey.
539
00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:32,799
You are my Nutcracker.
540
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,466
Well...
541
00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:36,468
let's hope you still feel that
way after I go out there
542
00:25:36,603 --> 00:25:38,437
and make a big fool of myself.
543
00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:40,840
Then don't.
544
00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,942
What do you mean?
545
00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:45,111
Either walk off this set
546
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:48,214
and tell your family
you're done being their mascot.
547
00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:50,349
Or you quit complaining,
you go out there
548
00:25:50,449 --> 00:25:53,019
and you do things your way.
549
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,122
But either way,
you just have to be yourself.
550
00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,692
So...
551
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:01,894
get cracking.
552
00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:15,041
(indistinct chatter)
553
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:17,810
(indistinct whispering)
554
00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,178
- Okay.
- Okay.
555
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,313
(chatter continues)
556
00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:26,986
Y'all been watching
Fake Christmas all week.
557
00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:29,155
Well, I'm fixin'
to show y'all something real.
558
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,523
(banjo playing intro to
"Born This Way")
559
00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:35,027
♪ My mama told me
when I was young ♪
560
00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:38,430
We are all born superstars ♪
561
00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:43,269
♪ She rolled my hair
and put my lipstick on ♪
562
00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:46,338
In the glass of her boudoir ♪
563
00:26:48,841 --> 00:26:52,011
♪ "There's nothing wrong
with loving who you are ♪
564
00:26:52,078 --> 00:26:54,947
♪ "'Cause he made you
perfect, babe ♪
565
00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:59,786
♪ So hold your head up,
girl, and you'll go far" ♪
566
00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:03,189
Listen to me when I say ♪
567
00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:07,459
♪ I'm beautiful in my way
'cause God makes no mistakes ♪
568
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:10,429
I'm on the right track, baby ♪
569
00:27:10,529 --> 00:27:12,631
I was born this way ♪
570
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,870
♪ Don't be a drag,
just be a queen ♪
571
00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:20,873
♪ Don't be a drag, just be
a queen, don't be a drag ♪
572
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:24,310
Just be a queen ♪
573
00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:26,879
(Gigi whoops)
574
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:31,818
(clapping)
575
00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:35,654
♪ No matter gay, straight or bi,
lesbian, transgender life ♪
576
00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:40,059
♪ I'm on the right track, baby,
I was born to survive ♪
577
00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:43,562
♪ I was born this way, hey,
I was born this way, hey ♪
578
00:27:43,629 --> 00:27:46,498
I'm on the right track, baby ♪
579
00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:48,334
I was born this ♪
580
00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:51,804
Way. ♪
581
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:56,843
(cheering, applause)
582
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:09,288
I am an old woman ♪
583
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:12,124
Named after my mother ♪
584
00:28:12,258 --> 00:28:15,494
My old man is another ♪
585
00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:18,865
Child who's grown old ♪
586
00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:22,301
If dreams were lightning ♪
587
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:26,438
And thunder were desire ♪
588
00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:29,976
♪ This old house
would've burned down ♪
589
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:32,979
A long time ago ♪
590
00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:37,283
Make me an angel ♪
591
00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:40,953
That flies from Montgomery ♪
592
00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:43,823
Make me a poster ♪
593
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,558
Of an old rodeo ♪
594
00:28:48,327 --> 00:28:51,297
Just give me one thing ♪
595
00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:54,633
That I can hold on to ♪
596
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,837
To believe in this livin' ♪
597
00:28:57,904 --> 00:29:02,008
Is just a hard way to go ♪
598
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,676
To believe in this livin' ♪
599
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:09,248
Is just a hard way to go. ♪
600
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,421
It's real good, Albie.
601
00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:19,725
I'm gonna have to wrap this up.
602
00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,727
Family is gathering
603
00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:23,495
for...
604
00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:26,365
Fake Christmas dinner tonight.
605
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,268
Much as I'd rather be
anywhere else.
606
00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:33,039
Care to join us?
607
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,174
Oh, I-I think
the Roman family's had
608
00:29:35,241 --> 00:29:37,509
their fill of me
for the moment, but thank you.
609
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:41,447
Nicky worries about you,
you know.
610
00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:46,218
Well, I can't
say she's wrong to.
611
00:29:46,352 --> 00:29:49,856
Haven't quite been myself
since Dot passed.
612
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,524
Holidays can be hard.
613
00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:53,792
Even fake ones.
614
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,896
I never knew my father.
615
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:59,798
He was out of the picture
before I was three.
616
00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:02,034
But it doesn't make it
any easier,
617
00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:03,469
especially around the holidays.
618
00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:05,905
What's your point, son?
619
00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:08,807
This Fake Christmas dinner--
620
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,977
your family's
gonna be missing Dottie.
621
00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:14,246
Don't let 'em miss you, too.
622
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,250
♪
623
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:21,720
(door opens, closes)
624
00:30:21,787 --> 00:30:24,456
- All right.
- Right.
625
00:30:24,590 --> 00:30:26,058
You sure you're ready for this?
626
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,060
Fake Christmas without Mama?
627
00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:30,296
Hell, it'll probably be easier
than it was with her.
628
00:30:30,429 --> 00:30:32,598
Just promise me
you'll go easier on Nicky
629
00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:34,901
than you did
at that Christmas set. Please.
630
00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,102
Can I ask you?
631
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,770
Do you think
I can really do this?
632
00:30:38,905 --> 00:30:42,074
Become a performer
and still stay true to who I am?
633
00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:44,076
If anyone can, it's you.
634
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,512
Even with two kids?
635
00:30:50,449 --> 00:30:51,783
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
636
00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:54,020
Why not ask Luke to help us out?
637
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,422
As much as my siblings
drive me crazy,
638
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,790
I'd still hate for Summer
to be without one.
639
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,593
Okay.
(squeals, laughs)
640
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:03,262
(both laughing)
641
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,365
("Jingle Bells" playing)
642
00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:09,301
Nellie.
643
00:31:09,435 --> 00:31:10,937
- Mm.
- You have been a busy bee.
644
00:31:11,003 --> 00:31:13,372
Have y'all seen
her new QVC commercial?
645
00:31:13,472 --> 00:31:15,874
I bought the entire
Nellie Bean collection.
646
00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:17,809
-(laughter)
- And I don't even wear lingerie.
647
00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:18,978
(laughter)
648
00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:20,312
Not often, anyway.
649
00:31:20,446 --> 00:31:21,981
(laughter)
650
00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:24,316
Thank you, sugar.
Well, I think you'd look fine
651
00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:28,454
in my signature
cream soda beige negligee.
652
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,990
(chuckles softly)
It's authentic faux silk.
653
00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:33,993
I got something I want to say.
654
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,328
Albie Roman giving a toast?
655
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,964
This is a Christmas miracle.
656
00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:39,999
I just want to take a minute
657
00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:42,801
to appreciate
658
00:31:42,868 --> 00:31:45,004
the woman
that brought us all together.
659
00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:46,672
Dottie Roman made up
a fake holiday,
660
00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:50,342
but she did it so we'd spend
some real time together.
661
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,311
So I hereby promise
662
00:31:52,378 --> 00:31:56,648
on this holy night
of Fake Christmas Eve
663
00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:59,651
to step up and help guide
this family into the future
664
00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:01,187
like Mama would've wanted.
665
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,189
Merry Fake Christmas, everybody.
666
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,191
- Merry Fake Christmas.
-(overlapping chatter)
667
00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:06,993
So, time for presents?
668
00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:08,995
-(chuckling)
- Unfortunately, won't be any
669
00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:11,363
of Dottie's homemade scarves
this year.
670
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:13,765
Another Christmas miracle.
671
00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:17,836
(indistinct,
overlapping chatter)
672
00:32:17,903 --> 00:32:20,206
- For me?
- Yeah.
673
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:23,109
Everybody, so...
674
00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:26,012
there's gonna be a new elf
on the shelf next year.
675
00:32:26,078 --> 00:32:27,713
We're trying for another baby.
676
00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,382
(squealing, laughter)
677
00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:34,220
Who's the father this time?
678
00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:36,222
- Luke.
- Wait, what?
679
00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:39,058
Just don't think about it
too hard. Just let it go.
680
00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,892
(quiet chatter)
681
00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:42,228
GIGI:
Thank you, Daddy.
682
00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:44,363
(laughter, chatter continues)
683
00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,465
-(insects trilling)
-(door opens)
684
00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:50,402
Merry Christmas, Uncle Luke.
685
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:53,572
Doesn't quite have the same ring
as "Dad," does it?
686
00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,608
I know.
687
00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:59,745
But it's better this way
for everyone.
688
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,249
Listen, I...
689
00:33:03,382 --> 00:33:04,916
I know
you're dealing with a lot.
690
00:33:05,051 --> 00:33:06,752
Mama. Clive.
691
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:09,755
Now I'm gonna add
another problem to your pile.
692
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,823
I got a call today
693
00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:14,593
from the assistant prosecutor
of Travis County.
694
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,295
They want a meeting.
695
00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:18,930
- Why?
- The level of opiates
696
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,599
in Mama's system.
697
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:22,234
They won't let it go.
698
00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:24,336
- They have questions.
- Well, you tell them
699
00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:25,837
the truth--
that you weren't there,
700
00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:27,773
you don't know what happened
and you don't know who was.
701
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,408
I'm sorry, Nick,
if I wasn't clear.
702
00:33:29,475 --> 00:33:32,111
The prosecutor's questions
are for you.
703
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,246
♪ ♪
704
00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:47,793
- You done for the night?
-(shuts door)
705
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,961
- Yeah.
- Mm.
706
00:33:51,330 --> 00:33:52,531
Mm.
707
00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:55,701
So you really did have
to work late.
708
00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,137
This time.
709
00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:01,107
You knew?
710
00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:02,274
Mm-hmm.
711
00:34:02,341 --> 00:34:03,975
I called set last night
to check on you.
712
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,811
They told me
they released you hours ago.
713
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,713
Ana,
714
00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:10,149
you're not gonna be a star
by sleeping with that boy.
715
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:11,983
I didn't. Not even close.
716
00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:14,153
(sighs)
717
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,722
- It's just that...
-(sighs)
718
00:34:18,290 --> 00:34:20,392
I know people like the Romans.
719
00:34:20,492 --> 00:34:22,794
They use people
and they toss them out.
720
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:26,165
And I won't let them do that
to you.
721
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,168
Do you understand?
722
00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:32,338
("We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
playing)
723
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,473
(quiet chatter)
724
00:34:38,043 --> 00:34:39,678
DIRECTOR:
Okay, Albie. Ready.
725
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:41,847
And action.
726
00:34:43,149 --> 00:34:44,850
Y'all may not know this,
727
00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:49,020
but I've never been one
for Fake Christmas
728
00:34:49,155 --> 00:34:51,523
or real Christmas,
for that matter.
729
00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:54,560
Dottie Roman changed all that.
730
00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:57,196
And even though she's not here
in person tonight,
731
00:34:57,263 --> 00:35:01,200
her spirit will be part
of this special forever.
732
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:05,003
So happy holidays from us,
733
00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:06,872
and, like Santa,
734
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:10,609
the Roman family will always be
here for you on Christmas,
735
00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:12,378
fake or otherwise.
736
00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:15,013
("Silent Night" playing)
737
00:35:22,188 --> 00:35:26,057
Silent night ♪
738
00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:30,061
Holy night ♪
739
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:34,099
All is calm ♪
740
00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:38,036
All is bright ♪
741
00:35:38,103 --> 00:35:42,073
Round yon virgin ♪
742
00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:45,911
Mother and child ♪
743
00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:49,548
Holy infant ♪
744
00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:54,052
So tender and mild ♪
745
00:35:54,119 --> 00:35:58,224
Sleep in heavenly ♪
746
00:35:58,290 --> 00:36:02,093
Peace ♪
747
00:36:02,228 --> 00:36:06,232
Sleep in heavenly ♪
748
00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:10,602
Peace ♪
749
00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:18,109
Silent night ♪
750
00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:22,080
Holy night ♪
751
00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:26,084
Shepherds quake ♪
752
00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:30,088
At the sight ♪
753
00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:34,326
Glories stream ♪
754
00:36:34,460 --> 00:36:38,129
From heaven afar ♪
755
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:41,767
Heavenly hosts ♪
756
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:45,604
Sing hallelujah ♪
757
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:49,174
Christ the Savior ♪
758
00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:54,145
Is born ♪
759
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:57,516
Christ the Savior ♪
760
00:36:57,649 --> 00:37:01,487
Is born ♪
761
00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:06,124
-* Ooh... *
-* Ooh... ♪
762
00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:09,961
Radiant beams ♪
763
00:37:10,028 --> 00:37:14,165
-* From Thy holy face *
-* Ooh... ♪
764
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,902
With the dawn ♪
765
00:37:17,002 --> 00:37:22,073
Of redeeming grace ♪
766
00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:25,311
Jesus Lord ♪
767
00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:30,316
At Thy birth ♪
768
00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,250
Merry Fake Christmas, baby.
769
00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:35,521
Jesus Lord ♪
770
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:40,326
At Thy birth ♪
771
00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:49,034
Mmm... ♪
772
00:37:52,237 --> 00:37:54,873
Beautiful, beautiful!
That's a wrap, folks!
773
00:37:55,006 --> 00:37:56,908
(applause, cheering)
774
00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,211
- Great job, everyone!
-(indistinct chatter)
775
00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:04,383
(crickets chirping)
776
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,251
-(fire crackling)
- Oh. Thank you.
777
00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:07,686
(chuckles softly)
778
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,220
A little late, Albie.
779
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,557
What's so important
that it couldn't wait?
780
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,858
Sit down, Nell.
781
00:38:19,264 --> 00:38:22,267
You and Dot
were thick as thieves.
782
00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:25,604
All right.
783
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,374
Dottie said something
fore she passed.
784
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,976
She said
that she'd done something.
785
00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:32,310
Something...
786
00:38:32,411 --> 00:38:34,079
that was unforgivable.
787
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,314
Well, it was Dottie.
788
00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,617
We might want
to narrow that down a touch.
789
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,785
Nellie.
790
00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:41,753
Think.
791
00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:43,589
This is important.
792
00:38:45,424 --> 00:38:46,458
(sighs)
You know...
793
00:38:46,592 --> 00:38:47,593
(sighs)
794
00:38:47,726 --> 00:38:49,595
She swore me to secrecy.
795
00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:53,064
A sister's loyalty
survives death.
796
00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,100
You live rent-free
on my property.
797
00:38:55,233 --> 00:38:57,603
You got loyalty to me, too, Nell.
798
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:08,647
You remember that barn fire
40 or so years ago?
799
00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,417
Yeah, I was on tour.
It burned to the ground.
800
00:39:11,483 --> 00:39:13,752
And...
801
00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:15,787
and you were told that Rosa,
802
00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:17,022
your lady friend,
803
00:39:17,122 --> 00:39:19,157
caused that fire...
804
00:39:20,325 --> 00:39:21,860
...and ran off
805
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,029
so she wouldn't be blamed.
806
00:39:24,129 --> 00:39:25,130
That's right.
807
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,132
Because that was Dottie's story.
808
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:28,634
And no one questioned her.
809
00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:31,637
But let me ask you this.
810
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:36,307
How do you think
Dottie's horses got out safe?
811
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,143
Ahead of time?
812
00:39:43,815 --> 00:39:44,683
(distorted yelling)
813
00:39:44,816 --> 00:39:46,151
♪
814
00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,990
Rosa didn't cause that fire.
815
00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,795
And she didn't run off.
816
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:00,499
(distorted yelling)
817
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,802
♪
818
00:40:06,972 --> 00:40:08,807
(screaming)
819
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:12,978
♪
820
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:25,056
She died in that fire.
821
00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:29,528
Just as Dottie intended.
822
00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,663
No. No.
823
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,198
No, she wouldn't have.
824
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:36,201
Lord knows she had a temper,
but come on, Nell.
825
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:39,671
She saw Rosa as a threat
to your future together.
826
00:40:39,738 --> 00:40:41,172
Your family.
827
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,009
The dynasty she was building.
828
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,044
She didn't have to worry.
829
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:49,515
Rosa wasn't a threat
to anything.
830
00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:54,219
Well, Dottie didn't like
to take chances.
831
00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:02,561
Good night.
832
00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:06,698
(door opens, closes)
833
00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,581
- So, what now?
-(sighs)
834
00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:24,750
Daddy.
835
00:41:25,717 --> 00:41:27,586
Go inside.
836
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:29,888
Hug your babies.
837
00:41:29,955 --> 00:41:31,990
Try to get some sleep.
838
00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:34,392
And the rest...
839
00:41:34,459 --> 00:41:37,262
is tomorrow's problem.
840
00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:41,567
(exhales)
841
00:41:46,271 --> 00:41:49,741
♪
842
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,093
♪
843
00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:27,012
♪
844
00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,152
Hey.
845
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:35,553
Ace?
846
00:42:35,654 --> 00:42:37,455
Hey, what are you...
847
00:42:37,522 --> 00:42:38,657
what are you doing?
848
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,032
I saw it all.
849
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,169
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
850
00:42:51,219 --> 00:42:55,769
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
58754
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