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♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:08,188
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,272 --> 00:00:11,743
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,827 --> 00:00:14,907
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,992 --> 00:00:18,100
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:21,335
♪ Lucky there's a man whopositively can do ♪
7
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:30,335
♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:43,204
Ah, it's so exciting to be back
at the Halloween Carnival.
11
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:44,780
Yep. Thanks to the vaccines,
12
00:00:44,865 --> 00:00:47,273
we can all get back to doing
the things we hate.
13
00:00:47,366 --> 00:00:48,710
Oh, for God's sakes, Peter,
14
00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:50,860
I am so tired of you
not making an effort
15
00:00:50,945 --> 00:00:52,380
to be a part of this family.
16
00:00:52,463 --> 00:00:54,706
Lois, I drove us here.
I bought the tickets.
17
00:00:54,857 --> 00:00:57,192
I'm sadly shuffling
through this place with you.
18
00:00:57,284 --> 00:00:58,719
- What more do you want?
- Well, I don't know.
19
00:00:58,804 --> 00:01:00,387
I want you to act
like you're happy
20
00:01:00,472 --> 00:01:02,359
to be with your family
every now and again.
21
00:01:02,444 --> 00:01:04,820
Look, I'm doing the best I can,
but I got to tell you...
22
00:01:04,906 --> 00:01:06,046
Whoa!
23
00:01:06,682 --> 00:01:08,099
Careful.
24
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,545
Oh, and there's my boss.
Even better.
25
00:01:12,064 --> 00:01:13,375
Hey, Preston.
What's with the hat?
26
00:01:13,459 --> 00:01:15,141
This is my Halloween costume.
27
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:17,959
I'm dressed
as 1990s comedian Paul Shore.
28
00:01:18,138 --> 00:01:20,007
You-you mean Pauly Shore?
29
00:01:20,091 --> 00:01:22,334
Perhaps in less
formal circumstances.
30
00:01:22,475 --> 00:01:24,811
You may recall he borrowed
heavily from surf culture,
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00:01:24,905 --> 00:01:29,057
with phrases such as,
"Hey, buddy," and "Grindage".
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00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:30,908
I don't think
this costume is working.
33
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,743
Neither is Pauly Shore.
34
00:01:32,896 --> 00:01:34,756
Ooh! That looks scary.
35
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,466
"The House of Unskippable
Podcast Ads."
36
00:01:41,162 --> 00:01:43,329
Before we get
to the thrilling conclusion
37
00:01:43,423 --> 00:01:44,598
of Murder at the South Pole,
38
00:01:44,682 --> 00:01:46,100
I'd like to tell you about
UNTUCKit shirts.
39
00:01:47,343 --> 00:01:48,326
I-I'm hitting "skip ahead,"
40
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,846
but it's not doing anything!
41
00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:52,331
Last weekend,
I was at a barbecue and thought,
42
00:01:52,415 --> 00:01:54,167
"What's with
all this excess fabric
43
00:01:54,251 --> 00:01:55,609
at the bottom of my shirt?"
44
00:01:55,694 --> 00:01:58,688
Oh, God! A clearly fake
personal story!
45
00:01:58,771 --> 00:02:00,281
The big game was
on the boob tube,
46
00:02:00,365 --> 00:02:03,025
but the biggest touchdown
was the perfect length
47
00:02:03,109 --> 00:02:06,453
of my friend's premium-made,
affordably priced shirt.
48
00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,681
Literally no one talks
like that!
49
00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:11,033
So, I went right home
and Bing-ed "UNTUCKit"
50
00:02:11,117 --> 00:02:12,852
on my Microsoft Surface.
51
00:02:12,936 --> 00:02:16,112
Is this a promotion
within a promotion?!
52
00:02:16,197 --> 00:02:17,615
UNTUCKit shirts.
53
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:20,801
We weren't here for Kevin James,
but we're here now.
54
00:02:24,131 --> 00:02:27,457
All right, gang, as a mom
who planned a family activity,
55
00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:29,311
I'm gonna put
wild pressure on you guys
56
00:02:29,395 --> 00:02:31,037
to say you're having
a good time.
57
00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:35,397
Chris, honey, are you...
Are you having a good time?
58
00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:39,153
Okay, I'm gonna
need a verbal response.
59
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:40,822
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
60
00:02:40,906 --> 00:02:42,230
Chris is having a good time.
61
00:02:42,314 --> 00:02:44,233
Meg. Meg, are you having
a good time
62
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- just like your brother?
- I guess.
63
00:02:46,152 --> 00:02:47,736
Okay, great.
64
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,555
Can you sign this form
for my Mom Meeting,
65
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,574
acknowledging your merriment?
66
00:02:51,658 --> 00:02:54,002
Wow, very good.
67
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,562
I see everyone had a good time.
68
00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:58,843
Would you like to spin
the wheel of Mom Prizes?
69
00:03:07,674 --> 00:03:10,092
"Donate spin to mom
you wish to belittle."
70
00:03:10,176 --> 00:03:12,260
Oh, thank you!
But, you know,
71
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:14,599
Bonnie needs this
more than I do.
72
00:03:15,831 --> 00:03:19,342
Her rejuvenation
only made things worse.
73
00:03:25,358 --> 00:03:28,443
Holography? That's
next door to witchcraft,
74
00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,947
and down the hall
from David-Blaine-ery.
75
00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:32,764
I do not care for his ruses.
76
00:03:32,848 --> 00:03:35,617
Ah, stop being such a wuss.
Let's go.
77
00:03:41,507 --> 00:03:44,293
The Michael Cera hologram
is a weird choice.
78
00:03:44,377 --> 00:03:47,295
Oh, i-it's the real me.
I'm just kind of translucent.
79
00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:49,281
Oh, hello, Hollywood.
80
00:03:49,365 --> 00:03:50,707
Yes, I would like to star
81
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:52,376
in an action movie franchise.
82
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,968
That's not a Bluetooth.
83
00:03:54,052 --> 00:03:56,100
He just stuck a Tootsie Roll
in his ear.
84
00:03:56,218 --> 00:03:58,640
Wow, these holograms are
the most amazing thing
85
00:03:58,724 --> 00:04:02,225
I've ever seen, and I've seen,
like, a really big horse.
86
00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:10,209
Welcome to
my hologram laboratory.
87
00:04:10,387 --> 00:04:13,489
Would you like to see
how I make my babies?
88
00:04:13,573 --> 00:04:15,484
I mean, I'm already here.
89
00:04:15,608 --> 00:04:16,827
Is that a yes?
90
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,884
- Yes.
- Just say that, then.
91
00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:22,831
This machine scans your data,
92
00:04:22,915 --> 00:04:25,817
then creates a virtual
hard light version of you
93
00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:29,172
that can physically interact
with the world.
94
00:04:29,255 --> 00:04:30,747
That sounds kind of bogus.
95
00:04:30,831 --> 00:04:32,324
Does the science check out
on that?
96
00:04:32,408 --> 00:04:34,101
They used it on Star Trek.
97
00:04:34,185 --> 00:04:35,769
You got a problem
with Star Trek?
98
00:04:35,853 --> 00:04:38,163
Okay, take it easy.
I accept your explanation.
99
00:04:38,247 --> 00:04:40,423
We all should.
It's Halloween.
100
00:04:40,507 --> 00:04:43,927
You can command them
to perform any human task,
101
00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:45,838
no matter how menial.
102
00:04:45,922 --> 00:04:48,007
So, you're saying
I can have something
103
00:04:48,091 --> 00:04:49,675
that looks exactly like me
104
00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:52,528
seem like it's enjoying
spending time with its family?
105
00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:54,122
Precisely.
106
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,124
- Can I have it?
- I'm afraid not.
107
00:04:56,207 --> 00:04:57,792
It's my only one.
108
00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:02,521
Maybe there are...
other arrangements we can make?
109
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:05,524
Boy, this is the first
button-down shirt
110
00:05:05,608 --> 00:05:07,209
that looks great untucked.
111
00:05:07,293 --> 00:05:09,637
- It's an UNTUCKit.
- What's their secret?
112
00:05:09,721 --> 00:05:11,863
Oh, they just make shirts
a tiny bit shorter.
113
00:05:11,947 --> 00:05:13,382
Genius.
114
00:05:27,798 --> 00:05:30,132
Man,
this machine is complicated.
115
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,211
I hope I can figure it out.
116
00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:35,399
Here goes nothing.
117
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:40,992
Thank you for choosing
the Holomaker-9000.
118
00:05:41,077 --> 00:05:43,586
Please input
personal characteristics.
119
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,180
Do they have to be true?
120
00:05:45,264 --> 00:05:47,925
I have no way of knowing
what is true and what is not.
121
00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:50,612
Such is life
in the Post-Donald-Trump Era.
122
00:05:50,696 --> 00:05:53,172
Ugh, leave the satire
to Garrison Keillor.
123
00:05:53,255 --> 00:05:55,598
Okay, time for
some statements about myself
124
00:05:55,682 --> 00:05:57,677
that are definitely not lies.
125
00:05:57,761 --> 00:05:59,846
Let's see,
I'm a black belt in karate,
126
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:01,956
I can cook
an eight-course French meal,
127
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,016
I always enter cars
through the window
128
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,793
'cause doors ain't
the boss of me,
129
00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:07,687
and I'm great
at remembering names.
130
00:06:07,771 --> 00:06:10,706
Just ask my friends:
Joel, Clemson and Quick Time.
131
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:27,389
Hello, Peter Griffin.
I am Hologram Peter Griffin.
132
00:06:27,473 --> 00:06:29,466
How may I be of service?
133
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:30,819
Come upstairs, Peter!
134
00:06:30,903 --> 00:06:32,894
I need you to put
the too-small slip covers
135
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:34,988
on the hard-to-grip
couch pillows.
136
00:06:35,072 --> 00:06:37,158
You can start
by handling that.
137
00:06:37,242 --> 00:06:40,829
I would be happy to help your
family with whatever they need.
138
00:06:40,913 --> 00:06:43,024
Aw, sweet! If this works out,
139
00:06:43,108 --> 00:06:45,316
I'll have more time
for those QAnon rallies.
140
00:06:45,399 --> 00:06:47,483
- What do we want?
- We don't know!
141
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:50,153
- When do we want it?
- Also unclear!
142
00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:52,822
- Why do we want it?
- Because it was forwarded to us
143
00:06:52,906 --> 00:06:55,326
in an email,
so it must be true!
144
00:06:55,409 --> 00:06:57,264
Yeah!
145
00:06:58,096 --> 00:06:59,422
Oh, Peter, there you are.
146
00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,423
Listen, I'm trying
to clear out my closet,
147
00:07:01,507 --> 00:07:05,314
so I want you to give me your
honest opinion of every garment.
148
00:07:07,846 --> 00:07:11,584
Perfect. I love working
as a team to reduce clutter.
149
00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:15,012
Okay, first,
my "7 Up Yours" T-shirt.
150
00:07:15,096 --> 00:07:18,091
That was the most provocative
thing ever put on television
151
00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:21,276
- at the time, you have to keep that.
- Okay, great.
152
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,779
Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita"
T-shirt Bethenny Frankel gave me
153
00:07:24,863 --> 00:07:26,689
after she hit Chris
with her car.
154
00:07:26,774 --> 00:07:28,600
That's a fun story. Keep.
155
00:07:28,685 --> 00:07:29,877
Great. Okay.
156
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:32,213
Under-the-seat
studio audience poncho
157
00:07:32,297 --> 00:07:33,788
from The Meredith Vieira Show?
158
00:07:33,872 --> 00:07:37,459
Maybe it's time
to say goodbye to Miss Vieira.
159
00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,795
Oh, man, this is going great!
160
00:07:42,122 --> 00:07:44,617
Aw, crap, I'm stuck.
161
00:07:44,701 --> 00:07:46,560
Let me call
my eye hole painting guy.
162
00:07:46,644 --> 00:07:48,562
Hey, it's Peter Griffin.
163
00:07:48,646 --> 00:07:50,899
Yep, trapped in the painting
again.
164
00:07:50,983 --> 00:07:52,567
I know, I know.
165
00:07:52,651 --> 00:07:54,569
Well, can't you just
look up my account?
166
00:07:54,653 --> 00:07:56,629
No, I don't have my ID number.
167
00:07:56,713 --> 00:07:58,740
No, I can't get my ID number!
168
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:00,908
Because I'm trapped
in the painting!
169
00:08:00,992 --> 00:08:03,226
I'm sorry, I-I'm mad
at your company, not you.
170
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:04,665
You-You're fine.
171
00:08:10,502 --> 00:08:12,144
Okay, yesterday
worked out great.
172
00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:15,163
So here's some more dumb family
stuff I want you to do for me.
173
00:08:15,247 --> 00:08:17,832
"Teach Stewie
what sound the cow makes."
174
00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:20,653
It's "moo."
"Quack" is duck.
175
00:08:20,737 --> 00:08:22,262
"Get opiates from John."
176
00:08:22,346 --> 00:08:23,838
Yeah, I'll give you
John's number.
177
00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:26,492
Tell him it's Peter calling
for opiates from John.
178
00:08:26,576 --> 00:08:28,101
- He'll know what you mean.
- Got it.
179
00:08:28,185 --> 00:08:29,495
Now that you're doing all that,
180
00:08:29,579 --> 00:08:31,514
I'm going to The Clam
with the guys.
181
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,774
Oh, man, this hologram thing
is the best idea
182
00:08:33,859 --> 00:08:36,184
since the Mayflower hired
a cruise director.
183
00:08:36,269 --> 00:08:38,428
Okay, everyone,
from 8:00 until 9:00,
184
00:08:38,513 --> 00:08:40,764
we'll be trembling
before our angry God.
185
00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:43,433
From 9:00 to 10:00, there's
yellow fever on the lido deck.
186
00:08:43,518 --> 00:08:45,620
And at 10:00,
it's everybody's favorite,
187
00:08:45,703 --> 00:08:47,288
Buckle-Hat Bingo.
188
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:49,347
What if we lost our buckle hat?
189
00:08:49,432 --> 00:08:51,200
- Well, do you have a plain hat?
- Yeah.
190
00:08:51,283 --> 00:08:52,793
- Do you have a belt?
- Yeah.
191
00:08:52,878 --> 00:08:55,538
You got a buckle hat.
192
00:08:55,621 --> 00:08:58,969
I just love
knowing what's going on.
193
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,787
Oh, Peter, thanks
for clearing out
194
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,715
an area for us
to start a garden.
195
00:09:05,798 --> 00:09:09,884
Yeah, they say the best day
to plant a garden is yesterday.
196
00:09:09,969 --> 00:09:12,221
And the next best day is today!
197
00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,890
This, this is what I meant
198
00:09:15,975 --> 00:09:17,967
about making an effort
with the family.
199
00:09:18,052 --> 00:09:21,822
And I can garden, too,
'cause I have a brown thumb.
200
00:09:21,907 --> 00:09:24,899
That's more of a wiping issue,
son, but I'm glad you're here.
201
00:09:24,984 --> 00:09:27,144
This is great,
but I'm a little hot.
202
00:09:27,227 --> 00:09:29,998
No problem, that's why
I bought a giant sun hat
203
00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:31,389
that can fit all of us.
204
00:09:31,474 --> 00:09:33,743
And now to quote
the kitchen towel,
205
00:09:33,826 --> 00:09:35,911
"Lettuce turnip the beet."
206
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:40,323
Stop it or I'm gonna wet myself.
207
00:09:40,408 --> 00:09:42,826
Me, too. I always wet my plants.
208
00:09:44,912 --> 00:09:46,346
Where do you get all this?
209
00:09:46,431 --> 00:09:48,073
They're all from towels, Lois!
210
00:09:48,158 --> 00:09:50,104
They're all from towels!
211
00:09:52,828 --> 00:09:54,855
Well, what do you think, guys?
212
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:56,097
Should we wrap it up?
213
00:09:56,182 --> 00:09:58,525
Yeah, but can one of you
throw glitter on me?
214
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,220
It's-it's better if Lois thinks
I'm at a strip club.
215
00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:02,825
She hates you guys.
216
00:10:04,097 --> 00:10:06,850
Peter, I think you're
a little too drunk to walk home.
217
00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:10,019
- Yeah, give us your shoes.
- Can we give you a ride?
218
00:10:10,104 --> 00:10:11,931
No, no, it's okay.
I'll just black out
219
00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:14,357
and-and never know
how I got home.
220
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:18,120
Works every time.
221
00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:20,759
And it's good
for the environment, maybe.
222
00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:28,114
Boy, they look pretty happy.
223
00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:30,783
And they're singing
Halloween carols.
224
00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:33,451
♪ Halloween has lots of candy ♪
225
00:10:33,536 --> 00:10:36,121
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
226
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:38,974
♪ Wear a maskand ring a doorbell ♪
227
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:41,644
- The perfect rhyme!
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
228
00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:44,297
♪ Don't be racistwith your costume ♪
229
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:47,966
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪
230
00:10:49,568 --> 00:10:50,985
Ah, that was fun.
231
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,081
And now that we're
just about done with Halloween,
232
00:10:53,164 --> 00:10:56,250
maybe it's time to start writing
the family Christmas letter.
233
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:58,811
Ah, Peter, that's a great idea!
234
00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:00,479
Good luck, pal.
235
00:11:00,562 --> 00:11:01,980
Our Christmas letter
always runs aground
236
00:11:02,065 --> 00:11:03,907
'cause our family has
no accomplishments.
237
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:06,501
All right, we need
some highlights from our year.
238
00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:09,504
Um, I got suspended
for setting up a tent
239
00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:11,914
in my Spanish teacher's
front yard.
240
00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:14,475
"After several
adventurous camping trips,
241
00:11:14,561 --> 00:11:16,511
"Chris is becoming
quite the outdoors man
242
00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:19,525
and has found a true mentor
in Señora Diaz."
243
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:22,028
I was trying to snag a bagel
from the school dumpster
244
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,549
and got accidentally hoisted
into the garbage truck.
245
00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:27,053
"This was the year
Meg caught the travel bug."
246
00:11:27,139 --> 00:11:29,158
Stewie's first pony ride ended
247
00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:31,937
after he blew out his diaper
all over the horse's back.
248
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:33,847
"Stewie pooped on a horse."
249
00:11:33,932 --> 00:11:36,183
Whoa, Pop,
where's my razzle-dazzle?
250
00:11:36,269 --> 00:11:39,721
"And Lois celebrated
her 29th birthday this year."
251
00:11:39,807 --> 00:11:42,359
Oh, Peter.
252
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,148
What the h... Lois isn't 29...
253
00:11:44,232 --> 00:11:46,725
Oh, I see what he's doing.
254
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:48,664
That's-that's very funny.
255
00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:54,734
What the hell?
No one kisses my wife
256
00:11:54,817 --> 00:11:56,568
except, begrudgingly, me!
257
00:11:56,653 --> 00:11:58,980
It's time for
Hologram Peter to go back
258
00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:00,844
inside the machine
where he came from.
259
00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:03,552
I'll be back in a minute.
260
00:12:03,638 --> 00:12:05,206
Don't pray without me.
261
00:12:05,403 --> 00:12:07,096
Give me that!
You're not the only one
262
00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:09,143
who can do things
for this family.
263
00:12:10,017 --> 00:12:12,250
Can you... can you pick that up?
264
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:14,605
Listen, I appreciate
you covering for me,
265
00:12:14,688 --> 00:12:15,938
but I can take it from here.
266
00:12:16,023 --> 00:12:18,591
Don't be silly.
I've got 'em all taken care of.
267
00:12:18,674 --> 00:12:21,427
- Go have fun.
- I thought this was gonna be a good idea,
268
00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:23,187
and-and these last few hours
have been great...
269
00:12:23,272 --> 00:12:24,798
You've been gone three days.
270
00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:26,783
But I'm ready to go
back to my family.
271
00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:28,433
Okay, you're the boss.
272
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:30,287
The hologram machine is
in the basement.
273
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:33,125
Let's head down there together
and sort this out.
274
00:12:41,548 --> 00:12:45,263
Where's the machine?
I left it right over...
275
00:12:46,886 --> 00:12:48,788
As Peter lost consciousness,
276
00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:53,033
he finally saw the folly
of his hologram misadventure.
277
00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:58,130
Also, going forward,
I'd appreciate
278
00:12:58,215 --> 00:13:00,375
a bit more warning
before having to narrate.
279
00:13:00,466 --> 00:13:03,043
Even just a few minutes
280
00:13:03,128 --> 00:13:05,471
to finish whatever it is I'm doing.
281
00:13:05,554 --> 00:13:07,899
Sir,
you're supposed to buy something
282
00:13:07,982 --> 00:13:09,659
if you want to use the restroom.
283
00:13:09,744 --> 00:13:12,070
Well, what's the
cheapest thing you got?
284
00:13:12,153 --> 00:13:14,312
Probably a
near-the-register cookie?
285
00:13:14,397 --> 00:13:17,182
Well, put me
down for one of those.
286
00:13:24,649 --> 00:13:26,879
Wha... what happened?
287
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,327
- I knocked you out and tied you up.
- Why?
288
00:13:29,412 --> 00:13:31,923
Because they're my family now.
289
00:13:33,993 --> 00:13:35,409
Well, the joke's on you.
290
00:13:35,494 --> 00:13:38,623
When you first got here,
I sent a letter to the FBI
291
00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:41,613
because I knew something
like this might happen.
292
00:13:41,794 --> 00:13:43,240
Is it bad?
293
00:13:45,019 --> 00:13:46,270
It's better than the last one.
294
00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:48,532
You should put it up
on the FBI fridge
295
00:13:48,615 --> 00:13:50,091
next to his drawing of Shrek.
296
00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:51,433
What?
297
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:53,595
Nothing. It's not
supposed to be Shrek.
298
00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:55,822
It's supposed to be the Hulk,
but that's funny.
299
00:13:55,905 --> 00:13:57,599
You don't deserve your family.
300
00:13:57,682 --> 00:14:00,059
I care about them way more
than you ever did.
301
00:14:00,144 --> 00:14:01,285
That's not true!
302
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:04,121
Oh, yeah? Who bought
double-Decker burial plots
303
00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:05,881
because Lois likes to be on top?
304
00:14:05,966 --> 00:14:08,293
Who taught Chris to whisper...
"Black"
305
00:14:08,376 --> 00:14:10,369
out of respect for...
"Blacks"?
306
00:14:10,452 --> 00:14:14,298
Me! And once I finish you,
they'll be all mine.
307
00:14:14,383 --> 00:14:17,210
Peter! Can you come upstairs
308
00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:19,636
and tell me if
this gray chicken smells funny?
309
00:14:19,721 --> 00:14:21,139
Be right up, babe!
310
00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:23,284
Aw, man. This is worse than...
311
00:14:28,270 --> 00:14:31,005
Wait, what are we supposed
to do in this cutaway?
312
00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:33,145
I don't know, I didn...
I didn't understand the setup.
313
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,163
Well, we have to do something.
314
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:39,778
Um, I mean, you do have
a long neck and I have fangs.
315
00:14:39,863 --> 00:14:41,480
Maybe something in that area?
316
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:44,075
Uh, maybe we just wait
to hear what the grown men
317
00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:46,230
who write for cartoons say?
318
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:54,676
Cream number 99 and cream 100.
319
00:14:54,759 --> 00:14:57,087
Okay, I'm ready for bed.
320
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:59,030
Well, we had meatloaf tonight,
321
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,091
so I guess I'm in
for a Dutch oven.
322
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:02,368
What's a Dutch oven?
323
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:13,546
Peter, wh-why is there dental
floss in this trash can?
324
00:15:13,629 --> 00:15:15,029
Because I just flossed.
325
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:17,032
Death creeps in
through the gums, you know.
326
00:15:18,783 --> 00:15:21,611
Um, Peter,
I-I need to go downstairs.
327
00:15:21,696 --> 00:15:25,131
I... I left a lame excuse
on the stove.
328
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,355
Okay, but be careful,
I just mopped the kitchen floor.
329
00:15:29,052 --> 00:15:30,955
I love you!
330
00:15:31,038 --> 00:15:33,381
Stewie, wake up! We got to go.
331
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,142
Chris, come on. We got to go.
332
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:38,129
Meg, can you drag the trash to
the curb tomorrow before 9:00?
333
00:15:38,212 --> 00:15:39,615
We won't be here.
334
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,245
Thanks for telling us
that whole back story
335
00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,730
on the way down the stairs, Mom.
336
00:15:48,813 --> 00:15:51,307
Yeah, now we don't have
to waste time hearing about
337
00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,159
how a hologram of Peter
replaced the real Peter.
338
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,629
Although, I don't know
why we had to hear about
339
00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:56,830
Bonnie not inviting you
to Rosé Game Night.
340
00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:59,832
Well, I just thought it was
weird, 'cause it was my idea.
341
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,582
Going somewhere, family?
342
00:16:17,842 --> 00:16:19,946
I didn't want to
have to tie you up.
343
00:16:20,029 --> 00:16:21,672
I did everything for you.
344
00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:24,283
And people think
holograms don't have feelings.
345
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:25,676
Well, we don't.
346
00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:28,120
And then I watched
one episode of This Is Us,
347
00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:30,197
and now I'm all feelings.
348
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,942
Don't mention This is Us.
Aw, great. Now I'm gonna cry.
349
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,961
Save your crocodile tears.
350
00:16:36,046 --> 00:16:37,855
None of you appreciated me.
351
00:16:37,938 --> 00:16:40,799
And if I can't have you,
no one will.
352
00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:43,721
I hate This is Us.
353
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,120
Let my family go.
354
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,123
I'm impressed.
355
00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:50,142
How did you free yourself
from the bindings?
356
00:16:50,225 --> 00:16:53,312
I found a hacksaw
and sawed through my hands.
357
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,371
Why didn't you saw
through the ropes?
358
00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:57,707
Hacksaw hindsight is
twenty-twenty, Lois.
359
00:16:57,792 --> 00:17:00,653
The important thing is,
I stitched my hands back on
360
00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:02,323
with Twizzlers.
361
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,476
All right,
fat guy fight rules:
362
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,644
We grab at each other's shirts
until we're out of breath
363
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,998
- and then a three-minute break.
- Got it.
364
00:17:12,082 --> 00:17:13,981
Should we just take
a three-minute break now?
365
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,503
Agreed.
366
00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:20,413
It turned into a pudding break.
367
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,898
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!
368
00:17:21,982 --> 00:17:23,416
I didn't get to lick the lid.
369
00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:32,018
Now for the final download.
370
00:17:32,102 --> 00:17:34,730
Everything in your mind.
371
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,613
Joke's on you.
There's nothing in there.
372
00:17:52,122 --> 00:17:54,373
Guys, Dad needs help!
373
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,695
We have to short-circuit
the hologram.
374
00:18:01,779 --> 00:18:04,031
Can anyone shoot lightning
from their fingers?
375
00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:05,700
I can,
376
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:09,348
but I have to be very angry.
377
00:18:11,365 --> 00:18:14,209
Wait, Brian, there are
other kinds of electricity.
378
00:18:14,292 --> 00:18:16,135
By simply rubbing my feet
on the carpet,
379
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,788
I may be able to generate
enough static electricity
380
00:18:18,873 --> 00:18:20,900
- to do the job.
- Stewie, that's a great idea!
381
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,125
What can I do to help?
382
00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:23,644
I need something
to get my feet going.
383
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,220
Can you sing "I Got Rhythm"?
384
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,390
Um, I-I... Can I,
can I just say "da da"
385
00:18:28,473 --> 00:18:29,633
for the words I don't know?
386
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:30,968
We have no choice. Go!
387
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:32,653
♪ Da da rhythm ♪
388
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,061
Wait, wait, wait.
389
00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:36,230
We're starting
with the "da das" already?
390
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,732
You don't know "I got rhythm"?
It's in the name!
391
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:39,977
Okay, I got it. Got it, got it.
392
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:42,145
- ♪ I got da da ♪
- Rhythm!
393
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:43,646
You said that the first time!
394
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:46,592
Okay, now I'm starting
to get angry.
395
00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:48,152
I'll do it myself.
396
00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:49,653
♪ I got rhythm ♪
397
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,246
♪ Da da music. ♪
398
00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:52,489
Oh-ho! The expert.
399
00:18:52,573 --> 00:18:54,099
Well, I got through the title
at least.
400
00:19:01,082 --> 00:19:03,000
It's working!
401
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:04,167
Quick, everyone, hold hands.
402
00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:05,780
We have to reach Peter.
403
00:19:12,093 --> 00:19:13,693
We can't reach him!
404
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,935
Lois, use your toe!
405
00:19:15,019 --> 00:19:17,196
I haven't had a pedicure
in four weeks!
406
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,502
Just do it. We won't look.
407
00:19:21,859 --> 00:19:22,795
Ew.
408
00:19:22,878 --> 00:19:24,704
Peter! Touch my toe!
409
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,522
- Ew.
- Do it!
410
00:19:26,606 --> 00:19:29,876
That's usually my line,
but whatever.
411
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:48,406
Wilma!
412
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:59,417
You saved us, Peter.
413
00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:02,167
Yeah, glad you thought of it.
414
00:20:02,251 --> 00:20:03,894
I hate this place.
415
00:20:03,978 --> 00:20:05,244
Of course I did.
416
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:06,563
I love you guys.
417
00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:09,066
And from now on,
I'll try to be half as good
418
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,416
as Hologram Me was.
419
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,178
Oh, but don't you see, Peter?
420
00:20:12,261 --> 00:20:14,328
The hologram was you.
421
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,015
He was just
the best version of you.
422
00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:18,409
You can get there,
it'll just take work.
423
00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:21,353
No, the deal was
I promise to be half as good
424
00:20:21,436 --> 00:20:22,520
as a fake thing.
425
00:20:22,605 --> 00:20:24,483
- All right, just do that.
- No promises.
426
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,491
Well, Peter,
I'm glad you're safe,
427
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:34,316
and everything's back to normal.
428
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,572
Yeah. Me, too.
And you know what?
429
00:20:36,656 --> 00:20:38,893
I realized
how much I missed you guys.
430
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:40,632
What do you say
we turn off that TV
431
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,227
and do something as a family?
432
00:20:42,352 --> 00:20:43,751
Damn it.
433
00:20:43,836 --> 00:20:45,587
He created another hologram.
434
00:20:45,673 --> 00:20:47,590
I'll get my feet started.
435
00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:50,336
- Brian, little "Camptown Races"?
- You got it.
436
00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:52,057
♪ Da da ladies sing this song ♪
437
00:20:52,197 --> 00:20:54,585
- I just gave you the title!
- Sorry, uh...
438
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,587
♪ Camptown ladies singthis song ♪
439
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,424
- ♪ Da da... ♪
- It's "Doo-dah"!
440
00:20:58,509 --> 00:20:59,356
At least I got one of 'em.
441
00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:01,104
The second one doesn't count!
33558
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