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1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:04,208
-Previously on Call Me Kat...
-(screaming)
2
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:06,714
I had no idea
you were coming back.
3
00:00:06,814 --> 00:00:08,116
Obviously you ate well.
4
00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:10,454
This is a juice bar now.
5
00:00:10,555 --> 00:00:11,824
Where are the cats?
6
00:00:11,957 --> 00:00:13,159
I told you she'd notice.
7
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:15,965
Now I'm at peace.
I just go with the flow.
8
00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:17,702
I even got a tattoo.
It's in Sanskrit.
9
00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,171
It says "acceptance."
10
00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:21,544
That says "garden salad."
11
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:22,378
You sold a song?
12
00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:23,948
Aw, please, it's not
that big a deal.
13
00:00:24,015 --> 00:00:25,350
-Just to Kacey.
-Kacey...
14
00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:27,354
Musgraves.
Just a famous person,
15
00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:29,025
who I know.
16
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,662
I didn't fire Randi.
17
00:00:30,762 --> 00:00:32,197
She left because
I didn't love
18
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:34,135
every single thing
that she did to my café.
19
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,872
I want you to be my partner.
20
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,443
-Like 50-50?
-Ish.
21
00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:40,848
I've been making my mother
margaritas since I was nine.
22
00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:42,318
(blender whirs)
23
00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:50,334
I don't care for them.
24
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,406
-What?
-Your new glasses.
25
00:00:53,473 --> 00:00:56,079
I assumed you were going to
ask me eventually.
26
00:00:56,179 --> 00:00:59,151
I wasn't...
for this exact reason.
27
00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:01,022
Will you take them off
when we get to the club?
28
00:01:01,089 --> 00:01:02,926
My friends will be there.
29
00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,863
Well, if anyone says anything,
30
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,834
you can just pretend
not to know me.
31
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,169
Wouldn't be the first time.
32
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:11,075
Tell the truth, you're
wearing them to spite me.
33
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:14,115
No, the truth is
I need them to see.
34
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:17,021
That it upsets you is
a welcome bonus.
35
00:01:17,087 --> 00:01:18,189
Where'd you get them,
36
00:01:18,323 --> 00:01:21,764
lost and found at the morgue?
37
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:23,901
Hey!
38
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,339
Oh, relax. It was a joke.
39
00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:30,213
Frankly, it's funnier that
you paid money for them.
40
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,583
You just ran a stop sign.
41
00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:33,955
Did you not see
the big, red octagon?
42
00:01:34,088 --> 00:01:35,825
Don't be such a square.
43
00:01:36,593 --> 00:01:39,498
Geometry?
I thought you'd appreciate it,
44
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,872
given you were the only member
of your high school math club.
45
00:01:42,939 --> 00:01:44,910
Hey, one is still a number.
46
00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:46,647
The loneliest.
47
00:01:46,747 --> 00:01:47,616
(siren chirps)
48
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:50,822
Oh, great.
Now we're getting pulled over.
49
00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:52,391
I get it, Katharine,
you can see
50
00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,696
through your hideous glasses.
51
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,101
What are you doing?
52
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,773
Getting out of this ticket.
53
00:01:59,873 --> 00:02:02,646
Seriously, you're gonna flirt
with a motorcycle cop?
54
00:02:02,746 --> 00:02:07,589
Well, I'll start with flirting,
see where it goes.
55
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:10,427
Okay, I'm gonna record this
because this is exactly
56
00:02:10,494 --> 00:02:13,099
the kind of thing that
my therapist does not believe.
57
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,370
Oh, crap, it's a woman.
58
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,809
-Katharine, unbutton your shirt.
-What?
59
00:02:17,909 --> 00:02:19,078
Maybe she's gay.
60
00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:20,982
I'm not gay.
61
00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:22,318
All right.
62
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,923
Do you hear that, Dr. Bell?
63
00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:27,194
Do you hear that?!
64
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:30,434
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
65
00:02:30,535 --> 00:02:32,572
♪ Nothing wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
66
00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,377
You're making a fuss
over nothing.
67
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:38,718
You just got a ticket,
your license is expired,
68
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:42,358
and you told that officer
I'm an adventurous lover.
69
00:02:43,193 --> 00:02:44,663
Why didn't you just
get it renewed?
70
00:02:44,696 --> 00:02:46,633
I didn't want them
to change my photo.
71
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,673
That was a hair day
for the ages.
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00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:51,442
Well, now, you're gonna have to
go to the DMV
73
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:53,046
and take the driving test again.
74
00:02:53,146 --> 00:02:54,415
Can't you take it for me?
75
00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:56,720
We look about the same age.
76
00:02:56,787 --> 00:02:58,456
No.
77
00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,396
Although I do love me
some standardized tests.
78
00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:04,335
I used to give them
to myself in math club.
79
00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:06,472
I don't have time to go
to the DMV.
80
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,445
Tomorrow's my nail appointment,
Thursday's my chemical peel.
81
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:11,149
Wait, you know you can't
drive anywhere
82
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,451
until you get this done, right?
83
00:03:12,585 --> 00:03:15,057
What is with you war
on beauty, Katharine?
84
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:20,835
Don't you have any cool friends
I can buy a license from?
85
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:21,904
No!
86
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,408
'Cause breaking the law
is never cool,
87
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:26,145
unless it involves
feeding a meter
88
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,483
so a stranger doesn't get
a parking ticket.
89
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:31,557
Take that,
Louisville Town Center.
90
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:33,293
Well, if I can't drive myself,
91
00:03:33,359 --> 00:03:35,030
you'll have to
drive me everywhere.
92
00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:36,466
Not gonna happen.
93
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,671
Why, are you busy
this week?
94
00:03:38,738 --> 00:03:43,514
Look at those glasses.
Of course you're not busy.
95
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:48,089
I am so glad
I got glasses.
96
00:03:48,156 --> 00:03:49,458
I can finally see,
97
00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:53,701
and I can really emphasize
my point... like this.
98
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:54,903
(laughs)
99
00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,840
Ooh, I love 'em, and I think
you look super sexy.
100
00:03:56,874 --> 00:04:00,414
Well, now that I can see,
I think you look super sexy.
101
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,687
Okay, okay, I like
where this is going.
102
00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:05,925
And you just ruined it.
103
00:04:07,629 --> 00:04:10,434
Hey, y'all,
it's moonshine season.
104
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:14,275
Who wants a jug
of Mama's skeeter juice?
105
00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:15,812
Isn't that the stuff
your cousin used
106
00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:17,414
to burn his fingerprints off?
107
00:04:17,481 --> 00:04:18,751
One and the same.
108
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:22,191
It'll also take the roots
out of your sewer line.
109
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:23,794
Oh, okay, well, sign me up.
110
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:26,900
-So long, laser hair removal.
-I'll take two.
111
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,238
I just found out my son's
production of Pippin
112
00:04:29,338 --> 00:04:31,442
isn't about Scottie.
113
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:34,415
Mama is gonna be
so proud of me.
114
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,452
I sold 'em all
and didn't even have to
115
00:04:36,553 --> 00:04:38,891
go to the high school
this year.
116
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,999
I've got amazing news.
117
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,870
You do? Hang on.
118
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:46,372
I'm listening.
119
00:04:46,439 --> 00:04:49,345
One of my songs is gonna be
in a commercial.
120
00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:52,284
What?! That's amazing.
Which song?
121
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,419
"Say No More."
The one about
122
00:04:53,486 --> 00:04:55,023
maybe meeting my dad someday.
123
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:56,560
I love that song.
124
00:04:56,593 --> 00:04:58,664
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
125
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:01,937
BOTH:
♪ What was the journey for? ♪
126
00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:03,541
♪ My dad just sips his whiskey ♪
127
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:06,814
♪ It's all right, son,
say no more. ♪
128
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,485
I can't wait to get drunk
with my son.
129
00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,690
What's the commercial about?
130
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,994
No idea. It got bought by
one of those huge companies
131
00:05:14,061 --> 00:05:16,465
that makes everything from beer
to frozen pizza,
132
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,405
but the important thing is
I'm gonna get paid!
133
00:05:19,471 --> 00:05:21,510
Ooh, I hear that.
New espresso machine
134
00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:24,315
coming our way, roomie. Yes!
135
00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:26,252
(phone ringing)
136
00:05:26,319 --> 00:05:27,589
Hello, Mother.
137
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:28,891
Well, I hope you're happy.
138
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:31,329
I've taken one of your
ride-share services,
139
00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,099
and now I'm being abducted.
140
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,638
Ma'am, I promise you,
I'm not ab...
141
00:05:35,705 --> 00:05:38,744
I checked the box that said
"no conversation."
142
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:41,950
Mother, no one is gonna
kidnap you.
143
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:43,419
And if they do,
I assure you
144
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:46,392
they will pay me
to take you back.
145
00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:48,329
Why are we going
through downtown?
146
00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:50,066
There's an accident on 64.
147
00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,837
I'm sure.
148
00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:56,112
Katharine, how do I use
that pepper spray you gave me?
149
00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:57,414
Oh, that's air freshener.
150
00:05:57,481 --> 00:05:59,586
I would never give you
a weapon. Bye!
151
00:05:59,653 --> 00:06:03,293
To Max and his messed up
relationship with his dad.
152
00:06:03,359 --> 00:06:04,829
And to Mama for once again
153
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,067
outsmarting the po-po.
154
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,038
(laughter)
155
00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:11,910
Ugh.
156
00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:13,614
Hoo-wee!
157
00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:16,485
So that's why people
make that noise.
158
00:06:16,553 --> 00:06:18,356
Can you believe
is was distilled
159
00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:21,697
in the same bathtub
I was born in?
160
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,611
Okay, next question.
"Two vehicles arrive
161
00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:30,615
"at a four-way stop
at the same time.
162
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:31,883
Who has the right of way?"
163
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:34,522
Obviously, the most
expensive car.
164
00:06:34,623 --> 00:06:36,727
This is still America.
165
00:06:37,662 --> 00:06:39,131
The correct answer is
the car to your right.
166
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:42,170
Unless you're in Detroit.
Don't ever stop in Detroit.
167
00:06:42,237 --> 00:06:43,641
Here's an easy one.
168
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:48,249
"At what blood alcohol
concentration are you impaired?"
169
00:06:48,349 --> 00:06:49,719
Me personally?
170
00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:52,224
When I start telling people
I love them.
171
00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:55,798
I've never seen you that drunk.
Look, if you're not gonna
172
00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:57,902
take this seriously, there's
no way you're gonna pass.
173
00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:01,543
Oh, who cares? So I'm driving
on an expired license.
174
00:07:01,576 --> 00:07:03,479
What are they gonna do,
throw me in jail?
175
00:07:03,514 --> 00:07:05,685
That's exactly what
they're gonna do!
176
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:07,522
And you know what they
have in jail?
177
00:07:07,588 --> 00:07:09,191
Florescent lighting.
178
00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:10,628
You don't scare me.
179
00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:12,598
I drove here today
and nothing happened.
180
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,534
What?!
181
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,836
That's right.
182
00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:17,508
And I solved the Wordle
at the same time.
183
00:07:17,575 --> 00:07:20,881
You can't drive
with an expired license.
184
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,152
Watch me, four-eyes.
185
00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:28,964
Give me your keys.
186
00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:32,805
If you want my keys,
you'll have to take them.
187
00:07:32,872 --> 00:07:37,447
Dang, that made
my neck tingle.
188
00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:39,653
Yeah, she'll do fine in jail.
189
00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:42,391
I'm serious.
Give me your purse.
190
00:07:42,457 --> 00:07:44,596
-Let go.
-You let go.
191
00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:46,566
Don't hurt it, it's Gucci!
192
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,269
Why can't you see
I am doing this
193
00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:50,273
for your own...
194
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:53,681
good?
195
00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:57,154
Keys weren't even
in my purse.
196
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:06,740
Dude, in less than two minutes,
197
00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:09,178
your song is gonna be
on national TV.
198
00:08:09,244 --> 00:08:10,548
And then two minutes after that,
199
00:08:10,648 --> 00:08:11,817
we're gonna watched
a masked celebrity
200
00:08:11,883 --> 00:08:13,821
dressed as a taco
singing "La Vida Loca."
201
00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:16,860
(laughs) Ooh. Get ready to be
on my Instagram Live, Max!
202
00:08:16,927 --> 00:08:19,833
Come on. You know I don't like
being the center of attention.
203
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,803
Darren, grab me one of those
drinks that you named after me.
204
00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:26,412
Oh, one Max on the Beach
coming right up!
205
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:28,016
You're practically famous.
206
00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:30,788
It would be like if Carter's
afro ever gets on Is It Cake?
207
00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:32,759
I've sent pictures in
four times.
208
00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:35,531
What are they so afraid of?
209
00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:39,606
My cousin Janice was on TV once,
but it was Cops.
210
00:08:39,672 --> 00:08:41,275
She wasn't wearing pants.
211
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,246
We were so proud.
212
00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:46,085
Hey, hey, Instagram.
213
00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:48,957
We are live
with songwriter Max Kingbird.
214
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:50,961
-What up, Gram?
-We're roomies, too.
215
00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:52,832
He ate my damn yogurt
this morning.
216
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,070
Anyway, say something
to your fans.
217
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:57,775
Hey, guys.
Uh, this song is about my dad.
218
00:08:57,842 --> 00:08:59,646
It really means a lot to me.
219
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,950
I'm just so honored
that you all are gonna hear it.
220
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,589
And if you're hot, single,
and in Louisville,
221
00:09:04,622 --> 00:09:06,626
we are getting hammered
on moonshine
222
00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:08,229
-at The Middle C.
-(whoops)
223
00:09:08,296 --> 00:09:12,204
He's kidding. We don't want
no Feds up in the holler.
224
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,676
Wait. I think they're going
to a commercial break.
225
00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:17,548
Uh, quiet down, everybody.
226
00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:18,951
Can everybody please quiet down?
227
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,790
-Hey, shut the hell up!
-(chatter stops)
228
00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:24,963
Oh, uh, I think they heard you
229
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:27,802
'cause they were already
quieting from when I... said it.
230
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:30,106
(intro to "Say No More" plays)
231
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:32,043
Oh, boy.
232
00:09:32,077 --> 00:09:33,981
♪ ♪
233
00:09:39,324 --> 00:09:40,661
I'm back.
234
00:09:40,728 --> 00:09:44,736
I love it
when people come back.
235
00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:49,211
-(bell clangs)
-(dogs barking)
236
00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:51,883
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
237
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:55,991
♪ What was the journey for... ♪
238
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:59,131
(dogs barking melody)
239
00:10:01,603 --> 00:10:02,772
(dogs howl)
240
00:10:02,839 --> 00:10:04,943
What the hell did they do
to your song?
241
00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:10,186
It's a disaster.
The labradoodle's flat.
242
00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:11,923
♪ ♪
243
00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:14,662
ANNOUNCER: Neumann's Hill
Farm Fresh Dog Food--
244
00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:19,004
organic, healthy, delicious.
245
00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:29,057
How great was that?
246
00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:33,332
I-I think
my aunt uses that dog food.
247
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:36,438
That's the end of my story.
248
00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:38,777
Look, it's broadcast TV.
249
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:41,583
No one our age is watching.
250
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,388
Except for all of y'all.
You're cool.
251
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:50,835
-(Kat sighs)
-(cork pops)
252
00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:54,241
Sorry.
My thumb already had it going.
253
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:02,992
Hey, I got champagne
if you want to celebrate
254
00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:05,965
and tequila if you want
to get white-girl wasted.
255
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,006
Okay, champagne with tequila.
(chuckles)
256
00:11:10,106 --> 00:11:13,045
That's called
"The Oldest Bridesmaid."
257
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,718
I wrote that song about wanting
258
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:18,590
to connect with my father
before he dies.
259
00:11:19,258 --> 00:11:22,197
Nobody's gonna
take me seriously now.
260
00:11:22,297 --> 00:11:23,366
That is not true.
261
00:11:23,499 --> 00:11:26,105
Eddie Vedder got his start
writing the jingle for Chili's.
262
00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:29,011
-Really?
-Don't google it, but yeah.
263
00:11:29,077 --> 00:11:32,685
Look, I know that did not
turn out the way you expected,
264
00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:34,254
but it's still a huge deal, Max.
265
00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:37,494
Look, I get what you're trying
to do, but I'm not in the mood.
266
00:11:37,562 --> 00:11:40,568
-Max, it's not like
it's the end of your...
-Kat, stop.
267
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,672
I want to be alone.
268
00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:46,212
Right. Sorry.
269
00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:49,484
Are you Max Kingbird?
270
00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:50,955
We saw you on Instagram Live.
271
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,492
Oh, sorry, ladies.
He's not really in the mood.
272
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,829
Hang on.
273
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,600
Have you ladies ever heard
of a drink called
274
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:58,670
"The Oldest Bridesmaid"?
275
00:11:58,737 --> 00:12:00,708
Here. Right this way.
Right this way.
276
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:02,712
-Max.
-What?
277
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,483
Misery loves...
278
00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,454
(whispers):
a threesome.
279
00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:12,430
Okay, it's your driver's test,
and I'm the DMV person.
280
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,336
Why don't we start by pulling
into that Fuddruckers?
281
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:16,773
-Okay.
-(turn signal clicking)
282
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:18,175
No! It's a trick.
283
00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:20,514
You don't go to Fuddruckers
on your driver's test!
284
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:23,019
You get to go after if you pass.
285
00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:26,626
Or fail. Either way,
we're going to Fuddruckers.
286
00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:28,029
Oh, red light.
287
00:12:28,129 --> 00:12:31,569
Yes, I can see that. Thank you.
288
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:32,838
Really? Lipstick right now?
289
00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,207
It's for you.
290
00:12:34,308 --> 00:12:37,080
It'll draw the eye away
from those glasses.
291
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,084
Yeah, well, say what you will,
292
00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:40,654
but that motorcycle cop
called me.
293
00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:43,192
She wants to have drinks
Friday night.
294
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,731
-Green light.
-(scoffs) I know.
295
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,100
I just like to be a careful
and courteous...
296
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,406
-(horn blaring)
-Oh, bite me, asshat!
297
00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:53,212
Yeah, you're gonna sail
through this driving test.
298
00:12:53,312 --> 00:12:56,553
I don't know why you enjoy
criticizing me so much.
299
00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:58,055
Are you kidding me right now?
300
00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,026
You do nothing but criticize me.
301
00:13:00,093 --> 00:13:02,698
Oh, so now I'm a bad driver
and a bad mother?
302
00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:05,871
I never said
you were a bad driver.
303
00:13:05,938 --> 00:13:07,808
It doesn't matter how I drive.
304
00:13:07,842 --> 00:13:09,679
I'm going to fail anyway.
305
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,583
Why do you say that?
306
00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:13,520
I'm going blind.
307
00:13:16,025 --> 00:13:17,962
What?
308
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,934
I found out
while you were on your trip.
309
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:24,609
-I don't understand.
How could you...?
-(horn blaring)
310
00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:27,180
Oh, bite me, asshat!
311
00:13:34,194 --> 00:13:38,002
(sighs)
I have macular degeneration.
312
00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:41,810
A fancy way of saying that,
over the next five to ten years,
313
00:13:41,910 --> 00:13:44,348
I'm going to lose my sight.
314
00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:46,586
There's got to be something
they can do.
315
00:13:46,686 --> 00:13:47,988
Well, there isn't.
316
00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:51,295
I'm taking medication,
but it'll only slow it down.
317
00:13:51,362 --> 00:13:55,003
And that's why you never went
to get your license renewed.
318
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,608
I knew
I couldn't pass the eye exam.
319
00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:59,444
I'm so sorry.
320
00:13:59,545 --> 00:14:05,256
I always thought, if I didn't
act old, I wouldn't get old.
321
00:14:06,325 --> 00:14:08,897
I don't know what kind of life
I'm going to have
322
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,536
if I can't drive.
323
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:13,907
We'll figure something out.
324
00:14:13,974 --> 00:14:15,343
I did figure it out.
325
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:17,581
I was going to continue
to drive illegally,
326
00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:18,984
and you ruined it.
327
00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:21,856
-Mother...
-Look, Katharine,
it is what it is,
328
00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:24,494
and wallowing isn't going
to help.
329
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:30,039
-(phone chimes)
-Find me the nearest bar.
330
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:34,081
Wait. You can't drive
if you can't see.
331
00:14:34,214 --> 00:14:37,253
And you can't get a man
if you wear those ski goggles,
332
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,291
but here we are.
333
00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:50,881
(door opens)
334
00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:52,350
-Hey, baby.
-Hey.
335
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:55,022
You think I could have a career
as a hand model?
336
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:57,895
I think
I'm rewatching Bridgerton,
337
00:14:57,962 --> 00:14:59,832
and the duke is about
to take off his shirt.
338
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,034
Well, I was picking up dinner,
339
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,772
and I was reaching
for the lasagna,
340
00:15:02,872 --> 00:15:05,143
and the lady said,
"You have lovely hands."
341
00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:07,982
-She just wanted a bigger tip.
-That don't make her a liar.
342
00:15:08,048 --> 00:15:09,886
Should we get
mani-pedis this weekend?
343
00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:12,323
Can I just watch my lady porn?
344
00:15:12,457 --> 00:15:14,127
(phone ringing)
345
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:16,432
What's up, Darren?
346
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,768
Make it quick.
347
00:15:17,868 --> 00:15:19,572
I'm about
to Bridgerton and chill.
348
00:15:19,639 --> 00:15:22,043
(laughs)
No, he isn't.
349
00:15:22,177 --> 00:15:24,080
You might want
to come down here.
350
00:15:24,181 --> 00:15:25,918
(playing upbeat tune)
351
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,822
♪ Woof, woof ♪
352
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:30,594
♪ Woof, woof, woof. ♪
353
00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:34,602
(howling)
354
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:36,004
Come on, everybody.
355
00:15:36,071 --> 00:15:40,313
Put your paws together!
356
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,452
Crap.
357
00:15:51,636 --> 00:15:52,905
I must really be drunk.
358
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:54,942
I can't even taste the whiskey
in this.
359
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:56,311
It's coffee.
360
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:58,082
Yeah, I'm not doing caffeine
these days.
361
00:15:58,215 --> 00:16:00,419
It's bad for your health.
362
00:16:01,054 --> 00:16:02,457
What the hell is wrong with you?
363
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:06,265
You come down here, get drunk,
bark at my customers.
364
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:10,006
I ought to swat you on the nose
with a rolled-up newspaper.
365
00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:12,010
Have you seen TikTok lately?
366
00:16:12,076 --> 00:16:14,014
You talking about
the bikini jump-rope challenge?
367
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,483
It's okay to look
368
00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:20,126
'cause they're raising money
for juvenile diabetes.
369
00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:24,836
Thousands of people
posted videos singing my song
370
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:26,873
with their dogs.
371
00:16:26,973 --> 00:16:28,577
(laughs)
372
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,914
I'm an Internet joke.
373
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,385
I wrote the new
"Never Gonna Give You Up."
374
00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:37,628
Oh, you must be drunk if you're
hating on my boy Rick Astley.
375
00:16:38,262 --> 00:16:41,335
I thought
it was gonna go away, but now...
376
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:45,009
It's gonna dog you forever?
(laughs)
377
00:16:45,109 --> 00:16:48,517
Damn. How come I'm always clever
when Randi's not around?
378
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:52,056
That song came from my heart.
379
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:54,562
I'm an artist.
380
00:16:54,662 --> 00:16:57,300
Oh, you're an artist now.
381
00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:00,172
I thought you were a guy
who just threw up in my piano.
382
00:17:00,239 --> 00:17:02,578
-You don't get it.
-I don't get it?
383
00:17:02,678 --> 00:17:05,984
You wrote that song so people
would hear it and enjoy it.
384
00:17:06,051 --> 00:17:08,489
And now, all those people do.
385
00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:10,928
I don't know, man.
386
00:17:10,994 --> 00:17:12,998
Sounds like a win to me.
387
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:16,104
And that's not just me
throwing you a bone.
388
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:18,910
I don't like clever Carter.
389
00:17:18,977 --> 00:17:20,747
And I don't like having
to drive down here
390
00:17:20,781 --> 00:17:22,250
and leave behind lasagna
391
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,822
and a girlfriend who's all
revved up from Bridgerton.
392
00:17:24,889 --> 00:17:26,993
Bridgerton, man!
393
00:17:27,126 --> 00:17:28,997
I just don't want to be known
as the guy
394
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,268
who did the stupid
dog food song.
395
00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:34,508
Better than being the guy
who never did anything.
396
00:17:37,247 --> 00:17:39,150
Can you take me home?
397
00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:41,288
Sure. Hey, if we hurry,
398
00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:43,860
I'll still have time
to hit Randi with a little,
399
00:17:43,927 --> 00:17:45,196
(British accent):
"Evenin' Duchess.
400
00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:47,367
You fancy me bangers and mash?"
401
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,473
I really don't know
why Randi has sex with you.
402
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,412
Hey, you think
I could be a hand model?
403
00:17:53,479 --> 00:17:54,447
What?
404
00:17:54,548 --> 00:17:59,124
Just imagine a slo-mo shot
of me putting on lotion.
405
00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:02,998
KAT:
Hello?
406
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:04,602
Oh, Katharine?
407
00:18:04,669 --> 00:18:06,773
Hey.
408
00:18:06,839 --> 00:18:08,175
What are you doing here?
409
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:11,683
Wait. How much do you need?
410
00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:13,753
I don't need money.
411
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:15,557
I've got a mother who loves me.
412
00:18:15,624 --> 00:18:17,895
(both laugh)
413
00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:20,232
There's your father's
sense of whimsy.
414
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,972
I came to take you to yoga.
415
00:18:23,072 --> 00:18:26,144
Oh. Well, since I can't drive,
416
00:18:26,178 --> 00:18:29,150
I... I hadn't planned on
going anyplace for a while.
417
00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:30,754
That's why I'm here.
418
00:18:30,821 --> 00:18:34,327
I took the day off so I can take
you to yoga and the hair salon.
419
00:18:34,427 --> 00:18:38,102
I'm pretty sure I'm still owed
a trip to Fuddruckers.
420
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,972
I can't ask you to do that.
421
00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:41,843
You don't have to ask.
422
00:18:41,909 --> 00:18:43,813
I want to.
423
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,082
Really?
424
00:18:45,149 --> 00:18:47,353
Of course. You're my mother.
425
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:50,226
I'm not gonna let you
go through this alone.
426
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:55,637
Why are you squeezing me?
427
00:18:55,704 --> 00:18:57,340
Oh. It's a hug.
428
00:18:57,373 --> 00:19:00,379
Cross that off my bucket list.
429
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,555
I love you, sweetheart.
430
00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:07,360
I love you, too.
431
00:19:07,427 --> 00:19:10,433
As long as we're going to
my salon, won't you let Francois
432
00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:12,370
-finally...?
-Okay, don't push it.
433
00:19:12,437 --> 00:19:15,577
Sorry if I wanted you to look
nice for your new lady friend.
434
00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:24,494
Hey, Internet. I'm Max Kingbird.
435
00:19:24,562 --> 00:19:27,033
I wrote the song that inspired
all the singing dog videos,
436
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,770
uh, trending number two
right below
437
00:19:28,837 --> 00:19:31,375
"hashtag double-D double Dutch."
438
00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:34,782
Anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to hear my version.
439
00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:39,525
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge ♪
440
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:41,863
♪ 20 years gone... ♪
441
00:19:41,996 --> 00:19:43,432
-Take it partner.
-(barking along)
442
00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:47,140
♪ Tough old man
I hardly know says ♪
443
00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:49,812
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
444
00:19:49,879 --> 00:19:52,718
♪ The years were written
on his face ♪
445
00:19:52,785 --> 00:19:56,592
(in harmony):
♪ They gave way to a smile ♪
446
00:19:56,659 --> 00:20:00,166
♪ He shook my hand
and poured a glass, and said ♪
447
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,771
♪ "Won't you stay a while?" ♪
448
00:20:02,838 --> 00:20:04,007
(yowls)
449
00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,309
♪ Said... ♪ Oh.
450
00:20:05,409 --> 00:20:06,879
-(barking)
-Oh.
451
00:20:06,979 --> 00:20:09,652
Hey. Hey.
452
00:20:09,719 --> 00:20:11,756
♪ ♪
453
00:20:14,394 --> 00:20:18,670
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge,
20 years gone ♪
454
00:20:18,737 --> 00:20:22,076
♪ A tough old man
I hardly know said ♪
455
00:20:22,143 --> 00:20:23,713
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
456
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:29,190
♪ I come home and I wonder,
what was the journey for ♪
457
00:20:29,257 --> 00:20:31,629
♪ My old man sips his whiskey ♪
458
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,700
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more" ♪
459
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:35,871
♪ My old man
sips his whiskey ♪
460
00:20:35,904 --> 00:20:41,381
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more." ♪
461
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:47,628
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
462
00:20:47,661 --> 00:20:49,632
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
31875
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