All language subtitles for Alone - S03E10 - Day 87.en.forced

[dramatic music]

*

- You're risking organ failure.

We need to pull you.

- Wish I would've ate more.

I've got so much food.

- Ever since the water's risen,

I haven't been able
to catch a single fish.

I don't know how long
I can keep going.

- I'd love to be
the first woman to win.

But I'm getting quite thin.

- I have this pain in my tooth.

Even a small chip
in your tooth

can just lead
to the biggest problem.

- This is the hardest terrain.

- Patagonia is a different
environment entirely.

- Everything out here
is so hard.

- Patagonia's no joke.

- Are you willing to give up--

- Oh!
- Who you are...

for what you will become?

- It's Patagonia,
for God's sake.

- Patagonia!

- It's tougher
than I ever imagined.

- Just missing home right now.

- You get a feeling
of helplessness,

like, "Why am I doing this?"

- Oh, my God!

- The last person left
wins $500,000

and is a badass.

- Bam!
- Ugh.

[animal growling]

- What is that?

- It's just how far
you can push yourself

and what you're able to do.

- Yeah!

- You don't have anyone
to lean on.

- Oh, my God, I got a fish!

- Go to bed hungry.
Wake up hungry.

*

- Can't believe I did that.
- Ready, guy?

- It's gonna come down
to mental endurance

and food deprivation.

- [ces]

- Person'll be dead
in a week at this rate.

[animal growling]

*

- Whoa.

That's a big cat.

*

[dramatic music]

*

*

[rain pattering]

*

- My tooth
has been killing me.

The root just feels
like it's, um,

really constricted.

[rain pattering]

There's a constant pain.

I'm trying to keep
my mind off of it,

but it is driving me crazy.

[rain pattering]

Yeah, it's just pouring
outside right now.

And windy.

*

This reminds me of home.

We have a lot
of blustery days like this,

and you come up outside
and see all the trees

moving in the wind
and the rain.

*

Days like this, gets harder
to be out here alone.

*

I'm definitely thinking
about my family a lot.

And, uh...

*

I miss my kids so much.

And my husband.

*

I've tried to suppress
thinking about them.

*

If I'm not busy,
I get too into my head.

[rain pattering]

How long will I be out here?

How many baskets
am I gonna make?

Keep thinking about my family.

[voice breaking]
I have this guilt, as a mother,

leaving my children
for a very long time.

*

I didn't bring any pictures
of my children,

so I couldn't even think
about my role

as a mother and a wife.

*

My kids don't even know
where I am.

We don't want to tell them
and worry them.

They think I'm doing
forestry fieldwork.

[rain pattering]

*

This guilt is
so complicated for me.

The urge to go see my children
and husband

and my health with my tooth

are pulling me away
from staying out here.

*

The only pull left
for me to stay...

is the money.

*

*

*

[fire crackling]

*

- Just see how
my greens look here.

Some of these
rehydrated greens.

First, I'm gonna getmy .

*

Just a little self-comfort thing
that I do.

*

'Cause my butt's
kind of bony these days.

[sighs]

*

Getting so thin.

I'm guessing I'm down
around 100 pounds.

*

Eating twice as much greens
as I normally do.

Hope that I can maybe stop
my weight loss.

Maybe gain just a little bit.

Really want to stay in this.

*

[wind whistling]

[birds chirping]

*

[scraping]

*

My strategy at this point

is trying to outlive,
outlast

whoever else is left.

*

Thought I could live
on plants alone.

But I guess I'm wrong.

I need more.

*

I have to try fishing again,

just to keep on staying here.

*

The next med check,
I'm pretty nervous about.

*

I don't know if the doctor
will think I've lost

too much weight...

and think it's necessary
to pull me.

Without extra calories...

I don't know
how long I can go.

*

*

*

- Just Look at these crow's feet
kind of thing going on.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

So much weight loss, man,
even my face is skinny

when I smile, by my eyes.

Look at that.

Look at all those wrinkles.

I lost so much weight,
and even my cheeks are thinner.

I'm getting wrinkles
on my face.

It's insane.

Wild.
Wild in Patagonia.

*

I'm still losing weight
continually.

I need fat, and I'm not
getting that from fish.

All right.

I see my line has sprung.

Eh, nothing.

*

I lose much more weight,
and they're gonna pull me

on a medical tap out.

- The doctor said that your
body mass index is dropping.

And if it does not go up,

you are at risk
of being pulled.

I don't want to go.

Right now, I'm gonna just keep
pushing forward.

Keep myself busy.

So I'm going to...

go cut some more bamboo
for chopsticks.

On my weakened state,
big projects

are kind of
out of the question.

It's the best I can do
to keep myself distracted,

'cause I'm still
really hungry.

*

Running on empty.

Having a hard time
not becoming discouraged.

*

When you've been hungry
like this for this long,

it's like it just keeps
coming to ya.

Like, "Ugh."

*

There.

Big pile of chopsticks.

*

*

63, 64, 65, 66,

67, 68, 69, 70, 71.

71 so far.

*

[rain pattering]

[thunder rumbling]

I'm hurting tonight.

Ugh.

I don't think
I've been so tried

and so hungry,
ever in my life.

*

I just want to go to sleep.

*

Getting too weak and hungry
to provide for myself

and keep going.

*

That's where it comes
to an end for me.

*

*

[motor revving]

*

[rain pattering]

- [sniffles and sighs]

- [crying]

*

[dramatic music]

*

[water splashing]

[boat scraping]

*

- Hi.

- Greetings.

- Hey.

I really feel that
I've done a lot here.

I really accomplished quite
a bit of what I wanted to do.

But my tooth
is getting sorer and sorer,

and then there's family,
and, um...

you know, I'm missing them
more and more every day.

I know it's the decision
I have to make right now.

There's things that happen
outside your control

and you just have
to be at peace with that.

But I'll definitely miss
this place, for sure.

*

I'm really appreciative
that in the middle of my life,

I was allowed to have
this amount of time

by myself to do
a bit of life reflection.

It's an
immensely powerful thing,

to be alone
and be in solitude.

Nature has
an immense power to it.

And when you're
fully immersed in it

for a significant
amount of time,

you really get
an appreciation

for every minute of the day

and just how fragile life is.

You have to live positively,

and if you have
the right mind-set,

it's amazing what
can be accomplished.

Every second with my family
after this

is gonna be so profound.

Cannot wait to see my children
and my husband.

*

*

*

*

*

[insects chirping and trilling]

[rustling]

- Ugh.

My little twig legs.

*

Little twig self,
the whole thing.

Unbelievable.

I never thought
you could get so small.

[rain pattering]

Little arms.

You're just so tiny.

You're so tiny.
What happened to you?

Not so much the forearms
that are tiny,

that blows me away is my...

upper arms,
and just everything.

A lot of ups and downs
to get here to day 80.

*

[exhaling sharply]

Holy cow.

All alone.

I've been going back and forth
between excited and nervous.

Now that I'm here,
I think I'm just nervous.

This is one tough place.

Arriving here in Patagonia,

my strategy for this was to see
it as a homesteading situation

in a new location
just like the early settlers,

when they went out West.

I found myself a little area.

This is a temporary shelter.

It's only, like, 15 feet
from where I was dropped off.

But my choices are limited.

My place is 95% hill.

And there's no sun, so I got
to explore my territory.

*

Look at this.

I was thinking of incorporating

this big tree as the back wall
of my shelter.

I need more food.

Innovation and creativity
are very important out here,

because you need to find ways
to overcome your problems.

I want to make a duck trap.

And I'm gonna try and build,
like, a little dock

that I can walk out on
and launch my duck-hunter boat.

*

We are fishing for birds.

*

My shelter took me
almost a month,

but it was a consistent
and persistent effort

until it was achieved.

The inner walls are done.

It is looking good.

Every day more that you
push forward on any goal,

you've already achieved
all that is behind you.

I am done with my shelter.

Tomorrow, I'm moving in.

Make my bed--oh, done.

If I spend too many days
just doing nothing,

I get mighty antsy.

[groans]

Downward dog into lotus.

Lotus eats the butterfly.

No, no, no.

Never done yoga.

*

Don't need my man card revoked.

I find that it's very important
to keep your mind busy,

especially after 4:00.

4:00, you're used
to going home

and being with your family.

My new winding stick is done.

Bushcrafting gets you
through the night.

Homesteading
and making projects

gets you through the month.

Got to add to the wizard staff.

My wizard staff journal,

the story
of my adventure here.

Whenever I'm not busy
making stuff

and doing things,

I am sick and tired
of being alone.

*

But when you're out here
by yourself...

*

You think about family

and how much they mean to you.

*

And the weight,

gravity on your chest
is just...

*

So strong.

*

It's been 14 days
with one fish.

[groans]

And you get frustrated,
and you're hungry/angry.

That seems to come more
and more as I'm out here.

Man, this blows.
This freaking blows.

*

Ugh.

*

Oh, no!

Things are not going well.

*

Grubs and roots for dinner.

[sobbing]

[fire crackling]

[sniffles]

[sobbing]

I'm so hungry.

[sniffles]

[whimpers]

[sniffles]

[sobs]

[somber music]

*

Three months now
since I've seen my family.

*

And that pull...

*

I swear, today,
I can almost feel it.

*

Diminishing conditions
that I'm in these days...

I don't know how much more
I got left in me.

[dramatic music]

*

*

[wind whistling]

- I'm thinking about food...

and thinking
about all the things

I look forward to eating
when I get home.

Some day soon,

I'll be able
to go to restaurants

or eat a delicious
home-cooked meal.

*

Tyler makes
an amazing salmon log.

*

And he came up with this,
oh, so good,

amazing, uh,
creamed halibut dish.

*

Most of what I think about
is fatty foods.

*

[sighs]

Which, I guess, shows
so that's what--

probably what
my body's craving.

*

Getting to be
one lean machine here.

*

[sighs]

Finding protein
has been a struggle

since day one.

*

Wow.

This is even more beautiful

than I could have imagined.

It's hard to put words
to what this place means to me.

*

[whispering] Two deer
just walked up on the beach.

That's pretty cool.

I have always wanted to really
test my survival skills.

I feel like my entire life

has building me up
to this point.

Always wanted to spend
a long chunk of time,

up to a year,
in the woods, alone.

*

As a survival strategy,
I wanted to create a home.

I didn't want
to just have a shelter

that just barely met my needs.

I wanted to be able to live
inside what I eated.

Home, sweet home.

[rustling]
[bleep].

Early on, there were some
moments when it was a struggle.

Missing Tyler and missing
being able to reach out

and call my family
and friends.

[sniffles]

Sad at the moment, but...

just to be expected
with being out here on my own.

I think I've struggled the most

with fishing out here.

*

My body weight
started dropping,

so I knew
that I had to change

what I'm doing.

I tried everything.

Oh, man.

Protein is critical
in a survival situation.

Yes! Come on.

If I could get more protein,

I would maybe be able
to slow down my weight loss.

Oh.

Aw, damn it.

Here, if I don't catch a fish,

I won't have anything to eat
that night.

[crying]

And that stresses me out.

And so I went
with what did work,

which was gathering plants.

Dandelions, just what
the doctor ordered.

I don't know where
the strength came

for me to live out here
as long as I have.

It's just--it's part of me.

I found nettles.

This is awesome.

I am stubborn.

My attitude and my will

and my spirit
have been key points

for me being able
to be out here

as long as I have.

[chuckles]

To me, the difference
between living and survival is,

survival is just barely
being able

to pull through something.

Living is being present

and enjoying each moment.

Ah, big flakes of snow.

I really want to make a drum.

To live out here, I do need
to keep making things

and try to stay busy
all the time.

I want with all of my being
to stay out here

and enjoy living
as long as I can.

It works.

However long that is,

I'm gonna keep striving.

I'm gonna keep going

till I can't.

[rain pattering]

Here's the--the true true

of how I'm doing right now,

at least in this moment.

I feel scared...

Scared of all
the future unknowns...

Scared of having to tap out

or getting pulled out.

[motor revving]

Here comes a boat,

which worries me a lot.

[eerie music]

They gonna pull me out?

I don't know.

[sniffles]

*

[sobs]

[percussive music]

*

Sweater off?

*

[dramatic music]

*

Oops.

*

*

*

- Just here a second.

*

[motor revving]

*

*

- There we go.

*

All right.
- Okay, just step on it.

*

*

- Sit down, please.

*

*

[air hissing]

*

[air hissing]

*

*

[air hissing]

*

- Open your mouth.

*

*

*

[both speaking foreign language]

*

[men speaking foreign language]

*

[dramatic music]

*

[rain pattering]

*

- The doctor has found that
you're in a critical zone.

We're gonna have to extract you
for medical reasons.

[somber music]

*

- Okay.

*

[crying]

*

I--I was worried that
this point might come.

*

You know, I--I felt myself
getting thinner,

and even though I feel
in great spirits,

you know,
I feel really good

most of the time--mentally,
emotionay, spiritually...

*

Just it's really disappointing.

*

I guess this is
what's meant to be.

*

I truly am thankful.

*

And I've learned a lot
while I've been here.

*

I want to see Tyler.

I want to see my mom.

I want to see my dad.

Even though I've been alone,

I feel like
I've been connected

to them the whole time...

*

And that they've
been there for me

and that they've helped
give me strength.

*

I don't feel like
I've been surviving

and--and struggling.

*

I've been here living.

*

Not winning $500,000,

it is disappointing.

More so that
I can't help others,

that I can't
buy my mom property

and build a house,

help some friends
have a better life.

And I was hoping to save

for my life
and my children.

*

But my physical body
can't do this anymore.

And so it's--
it's not mine to have.

*

This place,
it's really become

part of who I am.

*

I came out more alive

than I've ever been.

[motor droning]

[pensive music]

*

[wind sighing]

*

[rain pattering]

*

- One, two, three,
four, five, six.

Day 87, I got on it.

*

[motor revving faintly]

I hear a boat.

*

I think that's not
a good sign.

I think that means...

gonna have another
med check today.

And there was just one
yesterday.

I don't think
that's good news.

*

Think I lost
another 20 pounds

when they put me
on the scale.

*

It might be over...

for me.

*

I want it to be over.

But I don't want it
to be over because

I failed to acquire
enough food.

I have the energy to continue,

the mental
and the physical fortitude...

*

To make it to 90
and then some.

Maybe even 100.

*

Pretty nervous.

But at least
I wouldn't have, uh, quit.

And I will not have given up

or surrendered.

*

Last night,
I worked on a yarn thing

for Jamie to wind
her yarn ball around.

I started thinking
about the family

and talking about the girls.

And, uh, I kind of broke down
for a little bit there.

And was just--
you know, it just...

It's getting harder
and harder to think about 'em.

I miss those girls so much.

To be alone for so long and...

and have that family there
all by--

you know,
and just missing them,

I'm thinking of all the stuff
I wanted to do with them.

You know,
and as they get older,

they get little
sharp elbows and knees.

I'd even take a sharp elbow
to the gut right now,

if--you know,
just to be with them again.

[pensive music]

*

[sniffles and sighs]

I've wanted a family
my whole life, and...

and it's the best thing
in the world.

And, uh...

I just miss it.

You know, and, uh...

I just...

You know, and as long
as I have strength in me

and I feel like I can
push through it, I do.

And, uh...

and I don't give up,
because of them.

No.

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

*

*

[rain pattering]
No.

[gasps]
Oh, my God!

[both laugh]

[crying]

- You won.
You won!

- What?

I wo--

[both crying]

- I'm right here.

- [crying]

I won.

Oh, my God.

- It's over.
- It's over.

Oh, my God!

Oh.

[both crying]

I can't believe you're here.
- [laughs]

- I don't even care
that I won.

[both crying]

I love you so much.

Oh.

I was thinking about you
every minute.

Oh.

[both crying]

- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
I can't believe it.

- Oh, you're so dirty
now that I--

- I know. I don't care.
I don't care.

- You look so amazing.
I--I--

[both laughing]

Oh.

Oh, can you believe it?
- It's over.

- Thank--oh, thank God.
Thank you, Lord.

- Honey, you won.
You won.

[both laughing]

We can go home!

- [laughs]

For reals--

for real.

This is, uh,
unbelievable!

[both laughing]

Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

*

Oh.

[panting]

- Oh, my God.
- [laughs] Right?

- You made your wizard staff.

- Oh, yeah, look at it.

Every day, I would, uh--

I'd add my story to the pole.

And it's even got
our story up here.

There's the car, broke down.
- [laughs]

- And I had to leave you guys
on the side of the road.

And I have fishes for every
fish I caught, there, you see.

And, uh, each day,
I had a achievement,

and then my physical
achievement,

and then my, um, emotional.

And, uh, and so there's
quite a few emotional ones

where little yurts and
"missing you guys" and stuff.

- Oh.
- So...

each day, I worked my story
all the way down.

So I got the whole thing.
- It's so beautiful.

- I'll show you the inside.

*

All right, come on in.

It's a little messy

'cause I just brought
the firewood in.

*

It was so cozy in here.

The shelter worked so well.

It was unreal.

All right,
I got the clothes.

And I'll put all the spoons
and stuff into it.

There we go.

We got needles.

That's 50.

That's another 50.
- [giggles]

- There's another
100 chopsticks.

All the spoons.
- [giggles]

- Look at all of it.

- I know what your family's
getting for Christmas.

- Yeah.
- Spoons!

- Everybody's getting spoons.

[gentle music]

[bird chirping]

[motor revving]

*

*

I don't really consider myself
a survivalist.

[helicopter rotor whirring]

[both laughing]
- [speaks indistinctly]

[helicopter rotor thrumming]

Some people,
they just want

to take a knife,
go out into the woods,

and see how long
they can make it.

That was never
one of my interests.

I wanted to be able
to survive any situation.

*

If there's something
that you want,

it's not something you
accomplish in one night.

It doesn't matter your pace;

it doesn't matter your
strengths, your weaknesses.

As long as you just
keep pushing forward,

you're achieving something.

*

This is special.

*

Doesn't get much more special
than going to Patagonia

and surviving in the outback.

*

- One of the most beautiful
things I've ever seen.

- Right?
- [laughing]

- That's what I felt when
I saw you when I turned around.

- Aww!

[static crackles]

[laughs]

*

- This has been
the best experience of my life.

*

[light instrumental music]

*

- My stomach's
just been in knots.

Haven't thought about much else
besides getting home

and hugging my girls.

It was hard, sometimes,
to think about the things

I missed out on
while I was gone.

A whole summer
of stuff I missed.

Every day felt like
two or three days out there.

*

It's my favorite road.

The $500,000 means
freedom to my family,

freedom to build our off-grid
homestead the way we want to.

I'm home.

Oh!

Home, sweet home.

*

Oh, my goodness.

Everything is so green.

[dog barking]

*

[whistles]

*

[whistles]

- Who is it?

- Daddy!
[giggling]

Dad!

[both laughing]

- Hey.
- Daddy! Daddy!

- I missed you.
- I missed you.

- I missed you, too.

Hey, Sparrow.

Hey.
- Who is that?

- I missed you super,
super, super much!

- Yeah, I missed you, too,

and Mom and Sparrow.

Hey, hon.

- Hi.
- Hi.

[both giggling]

- Welcome home.

- [laughs]

- I missed you!
- I missed you, too.

And I won't go away like that
again, I promise, all right?

*

I lived in the woods.
- You lived in the woods?

- Yeah, this whole time,
I've been living in the woods.

This is the whole story
of my adventure,

and down here,
there's a snowman,

for the day that
I made a snowman for you.

Sprinkle it on.

- You want to help,
Sparrow?

Want to put
a little cheese on?

- "Alone" is kind of
the culmination

of everything my family's
been working towards,

the adventure that
we want to have together.

[laughing]

Me doing this and succeeding

means that we can
spend more time together.

- I am soaking wet.

*

Being alone isn't something
I think I will

ever pursue again.

*

Oh, that's beautiful!

I love my wife,
my little girls.

In the end, I think,
after this adventure,

I know my place
is at home with my family.

You want to come to me?

Aw.

*

Arriving in Patagonia,

I wanted to have an adventure

like I had been reading about
my whole life.

This was my chance
to have my real adventure.

But, as time went on,
I realized

being alone long term

is not how life
is meant to be enjoyed.

We need human contact.

For me, going forward,
it's very simple.

Have your family,
love 'em,

make stuff,
be happy.

Sounds good to me.

Fowler out.

*

[dramatic musical flourish]

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.