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1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...
2
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Arrested?
3
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,711
Well, they're probably
gonna have to pay some fine,
4
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:06,712
and-and they're gonna need cash.
5
00:00:06,714 --> 00:00:08,187
What the hell?
6
00:00:08,190 --> 00:00:09,753
What are you doing here?
7
00:00:09,756 --> 00:00:11,192
I'm saving you.
8
00:00:11,194 --> 00:00:12,801
Well, damn.
9
00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:14,316
Look, you're just a kid, okay?
10
00:00:14,319 --> 00:00:16,057
You don't understand
what's going on here.
11
00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:18,541
I know my mom lost her job and
got kicked out of the church
12
00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:20,456
because you won't marry my brother.
13
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:22,280
- Where you going?
- To dance.
14
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,327
I didn't think you Baptists did that.
15
00:00:24,329 --> 00:00:26,545
We don't drink, neither. Ooh.
16
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,807
- The kids asleep?
- Yup.
17
00:00:28,809 --> 00:00:31,416
You want to... fool around?
18
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:33,287
Are you messing with me?
19
00:00:33,289 --> 00:00:34,983
I'm hoping to.
20
00:00:34,985 --> 00:00:36,986
Well, hot diggity dog.
21
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:41,943
Hey.
22
00:00:41,945 --> 00:00:43,552
Oh, thanks for coming.
23
00:00:43,554 --> 00:00:45,552
Sounded important. What's going on?
24
00:00:45,554 --> 00:00:48,380
- Walk with me.
- Okay.
25
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,169
You know that money I owe you?
26
00:00:50,172 --> 00:00:52,158
Oh, you got it?
27
00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:54,203
Yes and no.
28
00:00:54,206 --> 00:00:56,208
Uh, well, which is it?
29
00:00:56,211 --> 00:00:57,992
Yes, I got it,
30
00:00:57,994 --> 00:00:59,601
no, I'm not giving it to you.
31
00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,993
I want to give you
32
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,745
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
33
00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,300
- Well, I'd prefer my money.
- [video game music and chiming]
34
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Do you see any unoccupied machines here?
35
00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:12,092
- No.
- Exactly.
36
00:01:12,095 --> 00:01:15,910
We are at capacity. It's time to expand.
37
00:01:15,913 --> 00:01:17,738
Where?
38
00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:20,695
The video store right behind that wall
39
00:01:20,697 --> 00:01:23,175
just lost its lease.
40
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Aw, heck. I was gonna
pick up the new John Candy.
41
00:01:26,107 --> 00:01:29,047
Well, as my partner in this enterprise,
42
00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:32,048
you can get that new
John Candy for free.
43
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,397
So you're gonna buy a video store?
44
00:01:34,399 --> 00:01:36,571
Video store in the front,
45
00:01:36,573 --> 00:01:40,094
video pokerin the back.
46
00:01:40,096 --> 00:01:41,834
Where are you getting the poker machine?
47
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- Biloxi, Mississippi.
- Oh. You didn't learn a lesson
48
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:47,000
- when you got arrested at the border?
- Yes.
49
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:48,836
I learned not to smuggle contraband
50
00:01:48,839 --> 00:01:50,615
with my idiot grandson.
51
00:01:50,618 --> 00:01:54,479
But there's nothing illegal
about buying poker machines.
52
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,839
Till you plug 'em in.
53
00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:57,840
- Well, sure.
- [scoffs]
54
00:01:57,842 --> 00:02:00,413
Come on. What do you say?
55
00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:04,537
You and me, a panel
truck, Biloxi or bust?
56
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:07,862
So I'm gonna be your partner
in an illegal gambling room?
57
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Hidden by a legal video store.
58
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,498
- Connie. Gee...
- Come on. You said you want to drive around
59
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,990
in an RV, see the country.
60
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:17,348
This is that, but exciting.
61
00:02:17,351 --> 00:02:18,707
We could go to jail.
62
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That's the exciting part.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
64
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
65
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
66
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
68
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SHELDON: Hello, Mom.
69
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It's your son, Sheldon.
70
00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:44,082
Hello, my son, Sheldon.
71
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I have an 8:00 a.m.
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class tomorrow, and I was wondering
73
00:02:46,169 --> 00:02:48,208
- if I could spend the night in my dorm.
- That's fine.
74
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,741
Now before you answer, hear me out.
75
00:02:49,744 --> 00:02:51,747
I have a list of reasons
why this is a good idea.
76
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,136
- Number one...
- Sheldon,
77
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,263
I know that you're
safe there. It's fine.
78
00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:57,139
That's reason number four.
Please don't skip ahead.
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00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:58,119
Honey,
80
00:02:58,122 --> 00:03:01,631
I trust you. Just go to
bed at a reasonable hour
81
00:03:01,634 --> 00:03:03,157
and call if you need anything.
82
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Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow.
83
00:03:04,554 --> 00:03:05,990
Okay. Number one: I'm not...
84
00:03:05,992 --> 00:03:07,521
Goodbye, Sheldon.
85
00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:10,810
Who hangs up on a list?
86
00:03:10,813 --> 00:03:12,466
What's his problem now?
87
00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:15,053
Nothing. He wants to
spend the night at the dorm
88
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:17,101
so he can get to an early class.
89
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:19,411
Really? And you said okay?
90
00:03:19,413 --> 00:03:21,045
He is old enough
91
00:03:21,048 --> 00:03:24,347
to have an overnighter, and...
92
00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:27,341
it might be nice for us to
have a little alone time.
93
00:03:27,344 --> 00:03:29,141
Ooh. What about Missy?
94
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,829
She's having dinner with a friend.
95
00:03:30,832 --> 00:03:33,269
So, the house to ourselves.
96
00:03:33,271 --> 00:03:34,532
I like it.
97
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:36,841
- [phone ringing]
- Hold on.
98
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- Hello?
- SHELDON: Number two...
99
00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:40,414
I have my own bathroom. Number...
100
00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,791
Boy, that's a lot of plates.
101
00:03:42,794 --> 00:03:44,968
- What do you want, Georgie?
- I just talked to Meemaw.
102
00:03:44,971 --> 00:03:46,995
She says she's gonna be out
of town for a couple days.
103
00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:48,041
Yup, she told me.
104
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:50,742
Patty melt. Good choice.
105
00:03:50,744 --> 00:03:52,442
Okay. Enjoy.
106
00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:54,751
I'm just worried about
you being all by yourself
107
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- in that big house.
- I'll be fine.
108
00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:57,826
What if there's a tornado?
109
00:03:57,829 --> 00:03:59,588
Did Meemaw ever show you
where her hidey hole is?
110
00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:02,175
- Georgie, I'm really busy right now.
- Sorry.
111
00:04:02,178 --> 00:04:04,860
I'll swing by Meemaw's later,
maybe bring some takeout.
112
00:04:04,863 --> 00:04:06,953
Don't bother. They send me
home with plenty of food.
113
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,957
Great. Score me a patty melt, would you?
114
00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:11,354
- I won't.
- I'm gonna go now.
115
00:04:11,356 --> 00:04:14,622
- What are you doing?
- Kissing our baby.
116
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You want one, too?
117
00:04:16,149 --> 00:04:17,229
No.
118
00:04:17,232 --> 00:04:19,676
Bye-bye.
119
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I'm home.
120
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Anybody here?
121
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- MARY: Missy?
- Yeah.
122
00:04:29,047 --> 00:04:30,875
MARY: You're home early.
123
00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:32,706
It's 7:00.
124
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Is it?
125
00:04:34,351 --> 00:04:36,338
Are you sleeping?
126
00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:38,065
Yeah.
127
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:39,201
Where's Dad?
128
00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:42,162
GEORGE SR.: I'm here.
129
00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:43,341
Ugh.
130
00:04:44,386 --> 00:04:46,346
GEORGE SR.: We were
both just real tired.
131
00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:48,873
Please stop talking.
132
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:50,572
[indistinct chatter]
133
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[loud chatter and
shrieking outside room]
134
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:57,065
[rock music playing outside room]
135
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,201
What on earth is going on?
136
00:04:59,203 --> 00:05:01,117
♪ ♪
137
00:05:01,119 --> 00:05:03,666
Aah! No skateboarding in the hallway.
138
00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:05,325
Aah!
139
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,920
This childishness cannot
be allowed to continue.
140
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,708
Hello. I need to tattle.
141
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:15,498
What?
142
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,458
Is your room on fire?
143
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,333
No.
144
00:05:19,335 --> 00:05:20,596
But I see smoke.
145
00:05:20,598 --> 00:05:22,470
Okay.
146
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,518
You need to know there's
people skateboarding
147
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,130
and playing loud music in the hallways.
148
00:05:26,132 --> 00:05:28,540
What do you want me to do about it?
149
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:29,706
You're the resident advisor.
150
00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:31,650
It's your job to enforce the rules.
151
00:05:31,653 --> 00:05:33,843
I'll get right on it.
152
00:05:33,845 --> 00:05:35,456
Thank you.
153
00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:40,205
The system works.
154
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:44,825
[rock music playing]
155
00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:46,437
Ugh.
156
00:05:46,439 --> 00:05:49,664
Oh, I'm gonna be so cranky tomorrow.
157
00:05:54,135 --> 00:05:56,503
So, how'd you hear about
these poker machines?
158
00:05:56,505 --> 00:05:57,854
I know a guy.
159
00:05:57,856 --> 00:05:59,379
What kind of guy?
160
00:05:59,381 --> 00:06:01,776
A guy who knows a guy.
161
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,042
Well, what do you know about that guy?
162
00:06:04,044 --> 00:06:06,089
He owned a riverboat casino.
163
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:07,488
He owned?
164
00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:08,791
He might be dead.
165
00:06:08,793 --> 00:06:10,360
Dead?
166
00:06:10,362 --> 00:06:11,610
He might not be.
167
00:06:11,613 --> 00:06:13,017
They never found the body.
168
00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:14,892
Oh, my God.
169
00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:16,483
- Exciting, huh?
- No.
170
00:06:16,486 --> 00:06:18,923
- It's upsetting.
- Oh, now, come on.
171
00:06:18,926 --> 00:06:21,321
You've been in the sporting
goods business long enough.
172
00:06:21,324 --> 00:06:23,371
Haven't you ever sold
a bunch of shoulder pads
173
00:06:23,374 --> 00:06:24,821
that fell off the back of a truck?
174
00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,096
Absolutely not.
175
00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:29,097
I buy 'em from a reputable
company named Tuffy.
176
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,450
Boring.
177
00:06:39,863 --> 00:06:41,592
I smell your shampoo.
178
00:06:41,595 --> 00:06:43,074
Aw, damn it.
179
00:06:43,077 --> 00:06:45,655
How long have you
been sitting out there?
180
00:06:45,658 --> 00:06:47,661
- All night.
- And why?
181
00:06:47,663 --> 00:06:48,993
[sighs heavily]
182
00:06:48,996 --> 00:06:51,594
Are you familiar with Arkham
Asylum from the Batman comics?
183
00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:52,933
- No.
- Well, it's a madhouse,
184
00:06:52,935 --> 00:06:55,025
as is my dormitory
after the sun goes down.
185
00:06:55,027 --> 00:06:56,987
Sheldon, I am the president
of this university.
186
00:06:56,989 --> 00:06:58,817
I don't handle noise complaints.
187
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,821
That's why there's a resident advisor.
188
00:07:00,823 --> 00:07:03,103
- Oh, I went to him.
- And?
189
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:04,699
You saw me sleeping on
the bench like a hobo.
190
00:07:04,701 --> 00:07:06,254
- What do you think?
- Can't you just...
191
00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:07,953
I don't know... chalk this up as
192
00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:09,610
part of the college experience?
193
00:07:09,613 --> 00:07:11,622
Yeah, the clown college experience.
194
00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:13,692
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.
[sniffles, clears throat]
195
00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:15,463
I've compiled a list of reasons
196
00:07:15,465 --> 00:07:18,076
why I should be appointed
the dormitory R.A.
197
00:07:18,079 --> 00:07:20,212
- Number one...
- Fine. You're the R.A.
198
00:07:20,214 --> 00:07:22,958
Okay. "Number one: I love rules...
199
00:07:22,961 --> 00:07:24,272
creating them, following them,
200
00:07:24,275 --> 00:07:26,012
and most fun of all, enforcing them."
201
00:07:26,015 --> 00:07:27,445
You're the R.A., Sheldon.
202
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,463
Excellent. "Number two... punishment
203
00:07:29,466 --> 00:07:31,514
for rule infractions must
be both fair and merciless."
204
00:07:35,693 --> 00:07:38,105
- Hmm.
- Ooh. Eggs andpancakes.
205
00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:41,851
That's what a lumberjack gets
for chopping all that wood.
206
00:07:41,853 --> 00:07:43,348
[laughs] I'll be Paul Bunyan,
207
00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:46,336
- you can be my babe, the blue fox.
- [laughs]
208
00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:48,819
[laughing]: George.
209
00:07:48,821 --> 00:07:50,815
Ugh. Still?
210
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,021
Morning, honey.
211
00:07:52,024 --> 00:07:53,524
What is happening with you two?
212
00:07:53,526 --> 00:07:54,830
What do you mean?
213
00:07:54,832 --> 00:07:56,224
Is one of you dying?
214
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,358
No one's dying.
215
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,013
Sometimes, married people kiss.
216
00:08:00,015 --> 00:08:02,321
On TV maybe, not here.
217
00:08:02,323 --> 00:08:06,373
Well, young lady, how do you
think you came into this world?
218
00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:09,380
Okay, you're freaking me out.
219
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:15,200
Here you go, as advertised.
220
00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:21,790
All right. Those look good.
221
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,447
Wait. Hold on. How do we know they work?
222
00:08:24,449 --> 00:08:27,323
What kind of operation
you think I'm running here?
223
00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:30,676
Well, I don't know. The
word "sketchy" comes to mind.
224
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,982
Be cool.
225
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:34,639
Uh, you mind if we plug a couple in?
226
00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:36,425
Mind if you show me the money?
227
00:08:36,427 --> 00:08:38,616
Sure. Turn around.
228
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,837
Why?
229
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,800
You want the money or not?
230
00:08:43,264 --> 00:08:44,743
[whispering]: Okay, go ahead.
231
00:08:44,746 --> 00:08:46,662
Yeah.
232
00:08:56,811 --> 00:08:58,115
Okay.
233
00:08:58,117 --> 00:09:00,598
20 grand.
234
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,166
- [chuckling softly]
- Light 'em up.
235
00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:04,346
[sighs]
236
00:09:06,008 --> 00:09:09,275
[tunes playing, whooshing, pinging]
237
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,754
That's the sexiest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
238
00:09:14,756 --> 00:09:16,512
Really?
239
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,764
Well, I just took my pants off.
240
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,244
SHELDON [on bullhorn]: Attention,
residents of Bower Hall.
241
00:09:21,246 --> 00:09:23,870
My name is Sheldon Cooper,
and I'm your new R.A.
242
00:09:23,873 --> 00:09:25,783
The age of chaos is over.
243
00:09:25,786 --> 00:09:27,862
I repeat, the age of chaos is over.
244
00:09:27,865 --> 00:09:28,953
Please take a moment
245
00:09:28,955 --> 00:09:31,075
to familiarize yourself
with the dormitory rules
246
00:09:31,078 --> 00:09:32,611
posted on the bulletin board.
247
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:36,313
Ignorance of these rules is no
excuse, and violators will be...
248
00:09:36,315 --> 00:09:38,319
[bullhorn squeaks]
249
00:09:40,886 --> 00:09:43,783
New rule. Unauthorized use
of my bullhorn is forbidden.
250
00:09:43,786 --> 00:09:46,658
- I repeat. Unauthorized...
- STUDENT [on bullhorn]: Shut up.
251
00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:49,074
[knocking]
252
00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:50,469
Anybody home?
253
00:09:50,471 --> 00:09:53,125
- [sighs]
- Oh, good. You're here.
254
00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,620
Hey.
255
00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:56,914
Check it out. I got this
video about childbirth.
256
00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:58,396
I thought we could watch it tonight.
257
00:09:58,398 --> 00:09:59,920
That sounds awful.
258
00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:02,316
Well, it does say
"contains graphic images"
259
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,014
right there on the box.
260
00:10:04,016 --> 00:10:05,933
Maybe some other time, Georgie.
261
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,543
No worries. I also picked
up Look Who's Talking,
262
00:10:08,546 --> 00:10:11,027
which is just about
a baby who says stuff.
263
00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:13,037
If you're trying to make
this, like, a date night
264
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,642
or something, it's not happening.
265
00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:16,645
Oh, who said anything about a date?
266
00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:19,215
It's just us having dinner
and watching a movie.
267
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:21,437
Last time we did that
I wound up pregnant.
268
00:10:21,439 --> 00:10:23,788
Mm, that was a good date.
269
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,053
Well, that's not happening tonight.
270
00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:27,629
I get it. Nothing romantic.
271
00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:30,190
Just two future parents watching
the miracle of childbirth
272
00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:33,632
or a movie that got two thumbs
up from Siskel and Ebert.
273
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,199
SHELDON: And not only that.
274
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,854
Then someone defaced my rule sheet
275
00:10:36,856 --> 00:10:38,467
with a drawing of testicles.
276
00:10:38,469 --> 00:10:39,552
[muffled laugh]
277
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,999
Well, that is so immature.
278
00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:44,477
I agree. Simply naming
me dorm R.A. isn't enough
279
00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:46,001
to command respect.
280
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,831
I need a physical
symbol of my authority,
281
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,311
like the way a king had a scepter.
282
00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:51,184
So, you want a scepter?
283
00:10:51,186 --> 00:10:53,126
No, that could be used against me.
284
00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:54,478
Ooh, how about a badge?
285
00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:55,706
I'd be like a Texas Ranger
286
00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:57,621
who patrols the halls of a dormitory.
287
00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,583
Well, these all just
such terrific ideas but,
288
00:11:00,586 --> 00:11:03,834
um, how about an official
letter from my desk
289
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,951
with a handwritten note
attesting to your position?
290
00:11:06,953 --> 00:11:11,525
All right. "To the
students of Bower Hall."
291
00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:12,877
That's your handwriting?
292
00:11:13,879 --> 00:11:15,572
"This document
293
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:19,825
bestows on Sheldon Cooper all the powers
294
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:22,452
and privileges of resident advisor."
295
00:11:22,455 --> 00:11:23,896
"Bestows." I like it.
296
00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:28,909
Sloppy, but I like it.
297
00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:31,123
♪ I can see a new horizon ♪
298
00:11:31,126 --> 00:11:32,736
♪ Realize ♪
299
00:11:32,738 --> 00:11:34,521
♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪
300
00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:37,571
♪ You're the biggest part of me... ♪
301
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,769
Nope.
302
00:11:38,772 --> 00:11:40,403
♪ Need your lovin' here beside... ♪
303
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,320
DALE: Well, I got to tell you,
304
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:45,931
- that was pretty exciting.
- Mm. I told you.
305
00:11:45,934 --> 00:11:48,023
For a while there, I felt
like Bonnie and Clyde,
306
00:11:48,026 --> 00:11:50,201
without all the murder and mayhem.
307
00:11:50,203 --> 00:11:52,686
Well, the night's still young.
308
00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:57,953
So at the risk of sounding
more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh,
309
00:11:57,956 --> 00:12:00,349
where do we stand in our relationship?
310
00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:02,963
You're the one who broke up with me.
311
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:06,329
Oh, maybe I've rethought the situation.
312
00:12:06,332 --> 00:12:08,320
So you were wrong.
313
00:12:08,322 --> 00:12:11,979
I don't believe there's
any right or wrong here.
314
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:15,027
Say it. Say you were wrong.
315
00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:17,641
I do regret it.
316
00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:20,384
Because... you were...
317
00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:21,998
wrong.
318
00:12:23,304 --> 00:12:24,350
Yes.
319
00:12:25,188 --> 00:12:28,050
So what do you say... you
want to give it another chance?
320
00:12:28,052 --> 00:12:29,144
Hang on.
321
00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:30,750
Just give me a straight answer.
322
00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:32,711
I'm a big boy. I can take it.
323
00:12:32,713 --> 00:12:34,322
I think we're being followed.
324
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:36,108
What?
325
00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:37,501
No.
326
00:12:37,503 --> 00:12:39,269
The pickup truck?
327
00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:40,856
The orange Pinto.
328
00:12:40,858 --> 00:12:42,467
I saw it when we gassed up.
329
00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:44,035
It's been two cars back ever since.
330
00:12:44,037 --> 00:12:46,517
I'm gonna speed up and see what happens.
331
00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:48,521
[engine revving]
332
00:12:48,523 --> 00:12:50,046
We're being followed.
333
00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:51,352
Are you still excited?
334
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,877
No, I'm upset.
335
00:12:52,879 --> 00:12:54,210
Good.
336
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:55,608
Then we're on the same page.
337
00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,569
[rock music playing]
338
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:02,695
Open up. It's the R.A.
339
00:13:03,942 --> 00:13:05,244
Yeah?
340
00:13:05,247 --> 00:13:07,551
It's quiet hours. You
have to turn the music off.
341
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,149
- Says who?
- Me, the R.A.
342
00:13:09,152 --> 00:13:11,163
You probably didn't
hear me over the music.
343
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,405
Maybe this will convince you.
344
00:13:15,029 --> 00:13:16,953
Her cursive is maybe questionable,
345
00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:18,654
but trust me, my authority is not.
346
00:13:21,955 --> 00:13:24,476
♪ I know, yeah... ♪
347
00:13:24,478 --> 00:13:27,219
Joke's on you. I have Scotch tape.
348
00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:31,177
I don't see him anywhere. Do you?
349
00:13:31,179 --> 00:13:33,570
- Nope.
- Oh, man.
350
00:13:33,572 --> 00:13:35,516
Well, now that that's over, I'm starting
351
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:37,345
- to feel the excitement again.
- [chuckles]
352
00:13:37,348 --> 00:13:40,020
Crazy, right? I think
that's the way danger works.
353
00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:41,959
Oh, it's like a rollercoaster.
354
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:43,842
- [laughs]
- Well,
355
00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:46,758
ain't this a coincidence.
356
00:13:46,761 --> 00:13:48,581
Oh, come on.
357
00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:50,149
[sighs]
358
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,750
- What's up?
- Mom and Dad are being weird.
359
00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:54,933
Can I hang out here?
360
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,412
Actually, ain't a good time.
361
00:13:56,414 --> 00:13:57,589
Come on in, Missy.
362
00:13:59,329 --> 00:14:00,981
Dang it.
363
00:14:00,983 --> 00:14:02,431
Sucker.
364
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:03,591
- Good.
- [door closes]
365
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:04,812
Ooh, Look Who's Talking.
366
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:06,686
- Classic.
- Hey, did you know
367
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:09,160
the baby is the guy from Die Hard?
368
00:14:09,163 --> 00:14:11,467
- No.
- Yeah.
369
00:14:11,469 --> 00:14:12,859
He can do everything.
370
00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:13,946
I was sitting there.
371
00:14:13,948 --> 00:14:15,255
Yeah, well, now you're not.
372
00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:16,326
I'm being nothing but nice here.
373
00:14:16,328 --> 00:14:18,167
I don't know why you got
to give me a hard time.
374
00:14:18,169 --> 00:14:20,691
Why? I'll tell you why.
375
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,345
You ruined my life. Is
that enough "why" for you?
376
00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:24,752
Hey, you weren't so innocent.
377
00:14:24,755 --> 00:14:27,475
If I recall, you provided
alcohol to a minor... me.
378
00:14:27,478 --> 00:14:28,566
That's illegal.
379
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,954
- You lied about your age.
- You lied first.
380
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,309
Okay, you know what? Let's not
do this in front of your sister.
381
00:14:33,311 --> 00:14:35,701
It actually feels normal. Keep going.
382
00:14:35,703 --> 00:14:38,269
And let's not forget, I
only lied 'cause you're hot.
383
00:14:38,271 --> 00:14:40,115
Oh, my God. We don't need
384
00:14:40,118 --> 00:14:41,783
to watch a movie about a talking baby.
385
00:14:41,786 --> 00:14:43,134
You're right here.
386
00:14:44,696 --> 00:14:46,259
Ooh, lock the door, lock the door.
387
00:14:46,262 --> 00:14:48,511
- No one's home.
- Just in case.
388
00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:51,900
[both laughing]
389
00:14:51,903 --> 00:14:54,206
- Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
- Mmm. Mmm.
390
00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:58,151
- I have a wild and crazy idea.
- Ooh,
391
00:14:58,154 --> 00:14:59,719
I like where this is headed.
392
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:02,721
Let's make a baby.
393
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:05,186
You're kidding, right?
394
00:15:05,189 --> 00:15:09,377
I don't know. It might
be fun to start over.
395
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:11,856
Fun? What house you been living in?
396
00:15:11,859 --> 00:15:16,258
I'm serious. We've been
getting along so great,
397
00:15:16,261 --> 00:15:19,166
and I have all this
extra time on my hands.
398
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,049
Uh, let's take advantage.
399
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:23,649
Your son's about to have a baby.
You can take care of that one.
400
00:15:23,651 --> 00:15:25,443
No, my mother called dibs.
401
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:26,993
Your mother's a million years old.
402
00:15:26,996 --> 00:15:28,566
You think she's gonna
be changing diapers
403
00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:30,265
- in the middle of the night?
- [scoffs]
404
00:15:30,268 --> 00:15:31,832
I'll tell you what your problem is.
405
00:15:31,835 --> 00:15:33,495
You got kicked out of your church,
406
00:15:33,498 --> 00:15:35,030
your-your kids are grown up,
407
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:37,076
you're feeling sorry for yourself, and,
408
00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:39,333
yeah, you think a
baby'll solve the problem.
409
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,837
Well? Say something.
410
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,737
You make me so mad.
411
00:15:47,841 --> 00:15:50,015
Where you going?
412
00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:52,191
We can still do it mad.
413
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:55,544
So what do you want, uh...
414
00:15:56,863 --> 00:15:59,021
- Dennis.
- Right.
415
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,850
Dennis. Tough name.
416
00:16:01,852 --> 00:16:05,113
So what do you want... Dennis?
417
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:09,247
Couldn't help noticing you
got Texas plates on that truck.
418
00:16:09,249 --> 00:16:13,089
Operating poker machines
ain't legal in Texas.
419
00:16:13,092 --> 00:16:14,605
So what are you, a cop?
420
00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:18,514
No, no, I'm just a guy who
might call the cops, you know,
421
00:16:18,517 --> 00:16:21,604
if we don't come to an arrangement.
422
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,039
Can I take your order?
423
00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:24,133
DENNIS: Thank you, honey.
424
00:16:24,136 --> 00:16:26,563
You know, I got a hankering
for chicken fried steak.
425
00:16:26,566 --> 00:16:29,990
Gravy on top, but only
if it's cream gravy.
426
00:16:29,993 --> 00:16:33,958
And the mashed potatoes with
more cream and gravy on top.
427
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:37,571
And, uh, ice tea when you can.
428
00:16:37,574 --> 00:16:39,922
No gravy on that. [clicks tongue]
429
00:16:39,924 --> 00:16:42,053
And how about for you two?
430
00:16:42,055 --> 00:16:45,142
I'm gonna use your restroom.
431
00:16:45,144 --> 00:16:47,579
He knows what I like.
432
00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:49,711
- You're leaving?
- Uh-huh.
433
00:16:49,713 --> 00:16:52,541
- I got to tinkle.
- Uh.
434
00:16:53,541 --> 00:16:55,627
Uh,
435
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:58,803
I guess I'll have the waffles,
436
00:16:58,806 --> 00:17:01,684
and the lady will have, um...
437
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,687
[clears throat]
438
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,040
...also waffles.
439
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:10,206
So, what do you think?
440
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,156
Well, Dennis, I'm not
the guy to talk to.
441
00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:16,077
Uh, why don't we wait for
the boss to finish tinkling?
442
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:19,428
[country music playing]
443
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,256
But I do got to tell you,
this is my first shakedown.
444
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,257
Don't think of it like that.
445
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:26,389
It's just a business arrangement.
446
00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:28,739
Well, I've been a
businessman for 38 years,
447
00:17:28,742 --> 00:17:31,653
and I don't think I've ever
been threatened before. [laughs]
448
00:17:31,656 --> 00:17:33,615
What kind of business you in?
449
00:17:36,747 --> 00:17:38,995
- Hello?
- Huh?
450
00:17:38,998 --> 00:17:41,608
What kind of business you in?
451
00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:46,813
- Groomer.
- Hmm.
452
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,545
Dog groomer, yeah.
453
00:17:48,548 --> 00:17:53,507
Cats if you make me, but I
pretty much love the doggies.
454
00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:55,019
DENNIS: You ever do birds?
455
00:17:55,021 --> 00:17:57,419
No. Mm-hmm. Birds got feathers,
456
00:17:57,422 --> 00:18:00,335
and they're... they're
self-grooming, pretty much.
457
00:18:00,338 --> 00:18:03,532
Yeah, I always thought
cats were self-grooming.
458
00:18:03,535 --> 00:18:06,636
Well, people think that,
but, no. No, you got to...
459
00:18:06,638 --> 00:18:08,901
You got to dip a cat once in a while.
460
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,336
Well, okay then.
461
00:18:12,338 --> 00:18:14,729
Where are you going?
462
00:18:14,731 --> 00:18:17,011
Dennis, I am really sorry about this.
463
00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:26,058
[loud knocking]
464
00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:28,255
May I help you?
465
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:29,543
There's no hot water.
466
00:18:29,545 --> 00:18:30,976
There is for rule followers.
467
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,436
You can't just turn off the hot water.
468
00:18:32,438 --> 00:18:33,402
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
469
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:34,871
If you want the
benefits of civilization,
470
00:18:34,873 --> 00:18:36,538
you have to behave
in a civilized manner.
471
00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:38,139
The decision is yours.
472
00:18:39,865 --> 00:18:42,340
I don't need a pen and
paper to take names.
473
00:18:42,343 --> 00:18:44,557
- [rock music playing loudly]
- You. What's your name?
474
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,718
You know I'll find out and
there will be consequences.
475
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:49,916
Hey, what are you... [muffled grunting]
476
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:58,495
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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