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Candace! Candace?
2
00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:35,103
Get down here! Now!
3
00:00:36,272 --> 00:00:38,878
Sam just left.
He is going to kill his father.
4
00:00:38,944 --> 00:00:40,681
- What did you say to him?
- He decided
5
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:42,853
that killing his father
would make him better.
6
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:44,222
Would it?
7
00:00:44,288 --> 00:00:46,059
Well, no, I don't think so.
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00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:47,829
He could come back here and...
9
00:00:47,895 --> 00:00:49,432
Are you sure it won't work?
10
00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:54,743
Candace, I understand
that this man was brutal to you.
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00:00:54,809 --> 00:00:57,181
But I'm supposed to care
what happens to him?
12
00:00:57,247 --> 00:01:00,521
Well... yes. Yes, a little.
13
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Can I come in?
14
00:01:31,249 --> 00:01:33,353
You hungry?
15
00:01:56,901 --> 00:01:59,305
I've been in this position
many times.
16
00:01:59,371 --> 00:02:01,777
There's nothing you can do.
17
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:06,820
I usually have a beer
and try to relax.
18
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,869
Bathroom?
19
00:02:30,935 --> 00:02:33,206
Uh, around the corner.
20
00:03:12,785 --> 00:03:15,758
You think I'm some sort
of a monster, too.
21
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:20,501
But I'm not.
22
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,541
I'm like anybody else.
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When he's... out, like now...
24
00:03:28,349 --> 00:03:30,655
I'm so scared for him.
25
00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:35,798
I'm so sad for
the life he's living.
26
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:45,551
But the families...
the people he does this to...
27
00:03:46,887 --> 00:03:49,559
I make up stories
in my head about them.
28
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:52,164
I live it, in a way.
29
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:56,172
I picture... them as babies,
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with their mothers holding them.
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00:03:58,911 --> 00:04:02,451
Their fathers playing
with them on the floor.
32
00:04:04,889 --> 00:04:08,396
These poor men.
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00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,935
But you won't call the police?
34
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:16,580
Candace... you won't
save them from this?
35
00:04:18,651 --> 00:04:20,420
I can't.
36
00:04:22,157 --> 00:04:24,529
I cannot.
37
00:04:31,677 --> 00:04:32,812
God.
38
00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:09,351
Why did you used to hit me
so much when I was a kid?
39
00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:16,967
I don't know.
40
00:05:20,808 --> 00:05:25,517
How did it make you feel?
When you...?
41
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,989
What?
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00:05:30,127 --> 00:05:34,402
When you used to hit me
all the time.
43
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,141
How did it make you feel?
44
00:05:37,207 --> 00:05:41,415
I don't know.
45
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:44,121
Bad, I guess.
46
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,628
You were a weird kid.
47
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:51,570
You couldn't follow rules,
you couldn't play games,
48
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:54,475
you didn't have any friends.
49
00:05:55,243 --> 00:05:57,147
And your mother was
reading all her books,
50
00:05:57,214 --> 00:06:00,821
telling me it was all my fault
you were like that.
51
00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:04,796
Anyway, I'm sorry.
52
00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:55,196
My therapist said
not to kill you.
53
00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:02,812
And then I left.
54
00:07:04,348 --> 00:07:06,018
How do you feel?
55
00:07:07,922 --> 00:07:13,534
I was choking him and I could
feel him disappearing,
56
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,838
and I stopped.
57
00:07:17,509 --> 00:07:19,712
It was like I didn't want to.
58
00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:22,586
Why not?
59
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:24,823
I-I don't know.
60
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:28,129
I mean, he said he was sorry,
but fuck him, right?
61
00:07:28,196 --> 00:07:31,937
I just, I hate him so much
62
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,977
and usually that feeling,
it makes me want to
63
00:07:35,043 --> 00:07:37,615
go ahead and...
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00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:40,988
But I was on top of him,
and I hated him.
65
00:07:41,055 --> 00:07:47,334
And this time, that feeling,
it-it made me not want to.
66
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,972
I...
67
00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:52,745
Hmm.
68
00:07:52,812 --> 00:07:55,483
Do you know why I didn't do it?
69
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,893
What was different,
between your father,
70
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,263
and everyone else
that you've hurt?
71
00:08:04,335 --> 00:08:05,604
I don't know.
72
00:08:05,671 --> 00:08:08,610
What's the obvious difference?
73
00:08:09,846 --> 00:08:11,482
He hurt me the most.
74
00:08:11,549 --> 00:08:14,021
Okay, good. What else?
75
00:08:14,087 --> 00:08:17,561
What's the most
obvious difference?
76
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,206
He's my father.
77
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,511
Right.
78
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:27,715
Sam, you were on top of him...
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00:08:27,782 --> 00:08:31,790
the one who treated you
like this.
80
00:08:31,856 --> 00:08:35,798
If you killed him,
you'd be doing it, too.
81
00:08:35,864 --> 00:08:37,367
Acting just like him.
82
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,204
Being just like him.
83
00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:40,473
You hate that part of him.
84
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:43,113
You are trying to be different.
85
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:46,119
Trying to get rid of
that ugly part of him
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00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:47,888
that lives inside of you.
87
00:08:47,955 --> 00:08:52,699
You were right to
confront your father.
88
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,803
But you didn't need to kill him.
89
00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:58,309
You needed to not kill him.
90
00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:02,685
This is it, Sam.
91
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,021
It is a major breakthrough,
92
00:09:04,088 --> 00:09:07,494
even if you're not quite
feeling it yet.
93
00:09:07,562 --> 00:09:11,537
Not killing your father is...
94
00:09:11,603 --> 00:09:13,874
You wanted to change.
95
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:17,648
Look at you. You've changed.
96
00:09:18,817 --> 00:09:21,623
How does it feel?
97
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,963
Okay. I guess.
98
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:27,935
It's everything that
we have been working towards.
99
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:32,143
You-you stopped yourself.
This is extraordinary.
100
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:39,191
Thanks.
101
00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:44,267
Hmm.
102
00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:52,551
I'm gonna go and
get some dinner.
103
00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:55,089
Uh, is there anything
in particular that you'd...
104
00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,562
I'm-I'm not really hungry
right now.
105
00:09:57,628 --> 00:10:01,168
I, um... Sam...
106
00:10:03,439 --> 00:10:07,280
It's time to let me go home.
107
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,287
You're ready.
108
00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:13,793
And I need to get back
to my family.
109
00:10:16,131 --> 00:10:20,240
Sometimes therapists
talk with their patients
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00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:21,576
about their own lives.
111
00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:25,483
Because... well, you know,
we're all human beings.
112
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:29,024
We all are struggling,
every last one of us.
113
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:33,232
So... I want you to understand
a few things about me.
114
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,038
You have been struggling
with your father.
115
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:38,042
And you just had
a big breakthrough.
116
00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:42,184
I'm in the middle of
a struggle with my son, too.
117
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:46,258
And I need to get back to him
for our breakthrough.
118
00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:49,966
I did a lot of damage
to my son, too.
119
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,905
I know it's not the same
as what your father did.
120
00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:59,251
But, Sam...
people don't deserve to die
121
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:01,455
for falling short.
122
00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:03,627
No matter how short.
123
00:11:03,693 --> 00:11:08,737
We're all... broken vessels.
124
00:11:11,108 --> 00:11:13,914
I need to get back to my son.
125
00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:18,757
I want you to come see me in
my office for regular sessions,
126
00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,159
every day at first,
127
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:23,900
but pretty soon we can
go to three days a week.
128
00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:26,973
I have enormous faith in you.
129
00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:30,146
I also want to address
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00:11:30,213 --> 00:11:32,450
your completely understandable
concern, I assume,
131
00:11:32,518 --> 00:11:35,157
that, if you let me go,
I will turn you in.
132
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:39,498
As a therapist, I have a
legal and ethical obligation
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00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,469
to keep your confidence.
134
00:11:41,537 --> 00:11:44,441
Including any, um,
135
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,813
crimes that you may have
committed in the past.
136
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,757
It only gets thorny if you are
clearly going to kill somebody.
137
00:11:51,823 --> 00:11:53,392
And if, at some point
in the future,
138
00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:56,365
you have an overwhelming urge
to kill again,
139
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:59,037
and you don't think
you'll be able to control it,
140
00:11:59,104 --> 00:12:01,008
that will be the moment for us
141
00:12:01,074 --> 00:12:03,847
to find a therapeutic
institution for you.
142
00:12:03,914 --> 00:12:05,984
But I don't see that happening.
143
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:10,728
I think that, by not
killing your father,
144
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:13,901
you have demonstrated
great progress
145
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,338
and likely permanent change.
146
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,845
I'm really proud of you.
147
00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:23,554
I am proud of the progress
that you have made.
148
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:28,429
And I think that you will
continue to make progress.
149
00:15:01,836 --> 00:15:03,940
I'll be right back.
150
00:15:47,929 --> 00:15:50,133
I get what you've been saying.
151
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,036
I've been rushing you.
152
00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:54,876
Because I want to get better.
153
00:15:54,943 --> 00:15:59,351
But therapy takes time.
154
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,691
Years, you said, sometimes.
155
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:09,237
So, I'll get a TV and...
156
00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:12,210
I can stock the fridge
with anything you want.
157
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:33,285
It's a miracle that everyone
who was beaten like that
158
00:16:33,352 --> 00:16:35,691
doesn't become
a serial killer.
159
00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:38,564
Why wouldn't they,
after suffering like that?
160
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:44,141
It's like an effort to
turn them into a serial killer
161
00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:46,513
that doesn't always work.
162
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,950
That poor kid...
163
00:16:49,017 --> 00:16:51,488
with all of it...
164
00:16:51,555 --> 00:16:55,864
he somehow managed
to not kill his father.
165
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,903
Maybe this fucking therapy
is working after all.
166
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:03,412
We know this story.
He needs a replacement father.
167
00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:06,485
That's why he wants to keep you
here for the next ten years.
168
00:17:06,553 --> 00:17:10,126
He understands, maybe
intuitively, that he needs
169
00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:12,130
to do it again.
170
00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:15,436
To relive his life
with a different model.
171
00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:19,546
Well, I'm not spending
the next ten years down here.
172
00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:22,751
No, you're not.
173
00:19:05,924 --> 00:19:08,697
A little meshuggener, maybe.
174
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,004
Sam?
175
00:19:46,772 --> 00:19:49,243
Sam, could you
come out here, please?
176
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:22,744
Sam, I don't think...
177
00:20:28,288 --> 00:20:30,561
I don't think that
I said what really
178
00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:33,431
needed to be said yesterday.
179
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:38,576
It has been a problem
down here for me,
180
00:20:38,643 --> 00:20:42,316
to always know exactly
how to communicate with you.
181
00:20:42,383 --> 00:20:45,256
And to know what I'm feeling.
182
00:20:46,258 --> 00:20:49,665
I have something to say
that may be difficult to hear.
183
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:52,003
That is part of
this process, though,
184
00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:54,341
honestly sharing the truth,
185
00:20:54,408 --> 00:20:56,712
even if it's hard.
186
00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:03,759
You brought me down here,
187
00:21:03,826 --> 00:21:07,667
and you asked me to treat you,
and I did.
188
00:21:10,139 --> 00:21:12,644
And I can't do it anymore.
189
00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:17,521
I have done the most I can.
190
00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:20,727
And I am telling you,
in my professional opinion,
191
00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:24,902
and I consider this
to be a near certainty,
192
00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:30,012
for you to get better, you
need to be physically stopped
193
00:21:30,078 --> 00:21:31,982
from acting out your compulsion.
194
00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:36,124
Being physically prevented
from hurting anyone else
195
00:21:36,191 --> 00:21:40,399
is what will give you
the freedom to actually heal
196
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,437
your heart and your mind.
197
00:21:42,504 --> 00:21:45,276
It's what will give you
the space to heal
198
00:21:45,342 --> 00:21:46,712
what your father did to you.
199
00:21:46,779 --> 00:21:49,518
As much as it can be, Sam.
200
00:21:49,585 --> 00:21:52,591
That kind of pain
never heals entirely.
201
00:21:52,658 --> 00:21:57,400
But you can do enough of it to
allow you to live a better life.
202
00:21:58,468 --> 00:22:02,176
Sam, I have so much respect
for what you're trying to do.
203
00:22:02,243 --> 00:22:03,546
It's very brave.
204
00:22:03,612 --> 00:22:06,785
In the whole history of
people who have struggled
205
00:22:06,852 --> 00:22:08,489
with what you're
struggling with,
206
00:22:08,556 --> 00:22:11,028
I bet you stand alone
207
00:22:11,094 --> 00:22:14,000
in the strength of
your efforts to change.
208
00:22:15,871 --> 00:22:18,408
And...
209
00:22:20,413 --> 00:22:23,686
...it's time to
turn yourself in.
210
00:22:23,753 --> 00:22:26,593
Call the police
and turn yourself in.
211
00:22:26,659 --> 00:22:30,567
I now know, apart from
anything having to do with me,
212
00:22:30,634 --> 00:22:33,739
this is the only way for you.
213
00:22:36,478 --> 00:22:38,983
Our therapy is over.
214
00:22:39,752 --> 00:22:41,722
You need to make a choice.
215
00:22:41,789 --> 00:22:44,261
I'm making one,
and you have to make one, too.
216
00:22:44,327 --> 00:22:48,368
My choice is that I am not
doing therapy with you anymore.
217
00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:53,445
Your choice--
you can turn yourself in,
218
00:22:53,513 --> 00:22:57,453
or you can end this
the other way.
219
00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:03,399
I don't want to do that.
220
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:04,669
Either one.
221
00:23:04,735 --> 00:23:07,841
I know. But it's time.
222
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:12,116
And I'm not going to live
down here like a pet.
223
00:25:31,294 --> 00:25:33,264
Thank you.
224
00:25:37,708 --> 00:25:39,411
I know you want to go home...
225
00:25:39,477 --> 00:25:44,421
but... he's not ready.
226
00:25:44,487 --> 00:25:46,825
He's not.
227
00:25:48,563 --> 00:25:51,134
Candace, this needs to end now.
228
00:25:51,902 --> 00:25:56,010
No matter what happens,
we can't leave anything unsaid.
229
00:25:58,114 --> 00:26:01,021
This is going to
be hard to hear,
230
00:26:01,087 --> 00:26:03,358
and I want you to know
that I am saying it
231
00:26:03,425 --> 00:26:05,028
not just in my best interests,
232
00:26:05,095 --> 00:26:07,767
but in yours and Sam's as well.
233
00:26:09,571 --> 00:26:14,213
When he was a boy and
his father was abusing him,
234
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,620
you didn't take
any steps to stop it.
235
00:26:18,455 --> 00:26:22,229
You didn't leave or get help.
236
00:26:22,296 --> 00:26:25,770
It wasn't your fault,
you didn't know what to do.
237
00:26:26,572 --> 00:26:29,778
But you did not protect him.
238
00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:35,923
You did not protect your son.
239
00:26:50,954 --> 00:26:52,891
- Ah! What are you doing?
- Sam! Sam?!
240
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,895
Ow, ow! Stop.
What are you doing, Dr. Strauss?
241
00:26:54,961 --> 00:26:57,066
Sam, come downstairs
right now! Stop!
242
00:26:57,133 --> 00:26:59,605
I am sorry to be
in this position.
243
00:26:59,672 --> 00:27:01,809
I don't want to be doing this.
244
00:27:01,876 --> 00:27:03,646
I care about you, Sam,
I really do.
245
00:27:03,713 --> 00:27:05,517
But-- No, no! Stop!
246
00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:07,688
But I will kill her if
you don't call the police.
247
00:27:07,754 --> 00:27:09,090
Sam, I...
248
00:27:09,157 --> 00:27:10,660
Do it, Sam,
249
00:27:10,727 --> 00:27:12,062
- or I will cut her throat.
- Sam, please.
250
00:27:12,129 --> 00:27:13,933
- Dr. Strauss, you...
- I don't want to.
251
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,304
I don't want to, Sam. What I
want is for you to call 911,
252
00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:19,612
and turn yourself in,
you have to. Turn yourself in!
253
00:27:19,678 --> 00:27:20,947
- Or I will do it!
- He's just bluffing, Mom.
254
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,483
All he wants to do
is get out of here.
255
00:27:22,551 --> 00:27:24,153
I am not, Sam. Call 911!
256
00:27:24,220 --> 00:27:25,924
I-I don't--
I don't believe you...
257
00:27:25,991 --> 00:27:27,561
I am not bluffing, Sam!
258
00:27:27,628 --> 00:27:29,197
I am going to kill her.
259
00:27:29,264 --> 00:27:31,669
You said we shouldn't interrupt
each other down here!
260
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:34,941
Goddamn it, we let
each other finish!
261
00:27:39,417 --> 00:27:42,290
You... you said
I was getting better.
262
00:27:42,356 --> 00:27:44,795
You-- I believed you.
263
00:27:44,862 --> 00:27:46,665
I told you last night.
You cannot get better
264
00:27:46,732 --> 00:27:49,470
unless you are stopped from
acting out your compulsions.
265
00:27:49,538 --> 00:27:52,043
That is the only way out
for you.
266
00:27:52,109 --> 00:27:54,881
This is the only way out for me.
267
00:27:58,455 --> 00:28:00,527
Make your choice.
268
00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:03,198
I don't want to.
269
00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:07,707
Then your mother's going to die.
And you'll kill me.
270
00:28:10,111 --> 00:28:13,117
I don't think you're the kind
of man that can even do it.
271
00:28:45,048 --> 00:28:46,384
Alan?
272
00:28:47,887 --> 00:28:49,023
Alan?
273
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,029
Are you okay?
274
00:28:52,095 --> 00:28:54,467
Just a bad dream.
275
00:28:58,776 --> 00:29:02,884
About when you were... away?
276
00:29:03,787 --> 00:29:05,222
Not exactly.
277
00:29:05,289 --> 00:29:07,760
Then what was it?
278
00:29:09,029 --> 00:29:12,002
I'll tell you in
about ten years.
279
00:29:12,069 --> 00:29:14,173
Keep your stuff together,
here we go.
280
00:29:14,239 --> 00:29:17,179
Everyone, let's go.
It's dinnertime.
281
00:29:28,903 --> 00:29:30,272
I'm just saying, I don't know
282
00:29:30,338 --> 00:29:31,776
how Shmuel ended up
being the coach.
283
00:29:31,842 --> 00:29:33,045
Shush. Dov likes him.
284
00:29:33,111 --> 00:29:34,782
You can't shield him
from the truth.
285
00:29:34,848 --> 00:29:36,350
I'm not so sure about that.
286
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:37,520
Coach Shmuel was captain
287
00:29:37,587 --> 00:29:38,822
of the intermural baseball team
288
00:29:38,889 --> 00:29:40,526
- at UMass.
- Yes, we know.
289
00:29:40,593 --> 00:29:42,329
We all know. That's my point.
290
00:29:45,803 --> 00:29:47,139
Thank you.
291
00:31:02,524 --> 00:31:06,899
Stop! Stop! Stop! Don't!
292
00:31:06,966 --> 00:31:09,704
Don't, Sam!
293
00:31:09,771 --> 00:31:12,611
Stop! Stop! Stop!
294
00:31:12,677 --> 00:31:16,618
No! No...
295
00:31:16,685 --> 00:31:20,024
: No, no, no...
296
00:31:22,564 --> 00:31:25,301
Oh, Sam.
297
00:35:54,272 --> 00:35:57,212
"Dear children of Dr. Strauss,
298
00:35:57,278 --> 00:35:59,417
"I am writing to
let you know the bad news
299
00:35:59,483 --> 00:36:01,922
"that your dad is dead.
300
00:36:01,989 --> 00:36:04,227
"He helped me a lot.
301
00:36:04,293 --> 00:36:08,000
"I know from him it's important
for you Jews to have a body
302
00:36:08,067 --> 00:36:11,775
"when someone dies, so I
put it where you can find it.
303
00:36:11,842 --> 00:36:15,215
"It's ten yards back
in the trees
304
00:36:15,281 --> 00:36:19,489
"by the northwest entrance
to Finch Ridge Preserve.
305
00:36:19,557 --> 00:36:23,497
I am enclosing a letter
he left for you."
306
00:36:25,435 --> 00:36:28,274
"Dear Shoshana and Ezra,
307
00:36:28,341 --> 00:36:31,480
"I love you both so much.
308
00:36:32,984 --> 00:36:36,892
"I'm sorry this happened to you,
and I'm sorry it happened to me.
309
00:36:36,959 --> 00:36:40,398
"But here we are.
310
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:43,772
"I want you to know
I haven't suffered.
311
00:36:43,839 --> 00:36:46,878
"And I've had a lot
of time to think.
312
00:36:46,945 --> 00:36:50,151
"You know I like to do that.
313
00:36:50,218 --> 00:36:54,560
"The two of you gave my life,
and your mother's life, meaning.
314
00:36:54,627 --> 00:36:56,665
"All parents love
their children,
315
00:36:56,732 --> 00:37:00,038
"but no one loved their kids
more than we did.
316
00:37:00,105 --> 00:37:04,647
"You are extraordinary people.
317
00:37:04,714 --> 00:37:07,485
"I want you both to go forward
without my death
318
00:37:07,553 --> 00:37:10,158
"defining your lives.
319
00:37:10,225 --> 00:37:14,233
"I also want to make sure that
some of the conflicts we had
320
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:18,708
"don't define how you remember
our relationships either.
321
00:37:20,245 --> 00:37:24,687
"Shoshana, you and I and
your mother had our issues,
322
00:37:24,754 --> 00:37:29,998
"but mostly it has been easy
and full of caring.
323
00:37:30,064 --> 00:37:33,805
"I thank you for that gift.
324
00:37:33,872 --> 00:37:37,980
"You are the brightest,
most extraordinary young woman
325
00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:39,951
"I can imagine.
326
00:37:40,018 --> 00:37:43,858
"In these dark times,
I have thought about you
327
00:37:43,925 --> 00:37:46,497
"and your beautiful family constantly,
328
00:37:46,565 --> 00:37:52,576
"and it has given me joy,
pride and solace.
329
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,784
"Ezra, my dear son,
330
00:37:56,851 --> 00:38:00,927
"you are a bright light
in this world.
331
00:38:00,993 --> 00:38:05,836
"We both know it hasn't been
such smooth sailing between us.
332
00:38:05,903 --> 00:38:07,974
"And your mother.
333
00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:10,378
"I have spent a lot of time
thinking back on everything
334
00:38:10,445 --> 00:38:13,985
"that happened,
and I see things now
335
00:38:14,052 --> 00:38:17,960
"that I was unable to grasp
when they were happening.
336
00:38:18,027 --> 00:38:21,768
"I want you to know
that I understand now
337
00:38:21,835 --> 00:38:24,607
"everything you said to me.
338
00:38:24,674 --> 00:38:27,279
"You were right. Mostly.
339
00:38:27,346 --> 00:38:32,623
"I was judgmental, I didn't
accept you for who you were,
340
00:38:32,690 --> 00:38:35,662
"and worst of all,
I allowed your mother
341
00:38:35,729 --> 00:38:37,165
"to take the blame for this,
342
00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:41,908
"when I was as much
at fault as anyone.
343
00:38:41,975 --> 00:38:43,778
"More.
344
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:51,059
"I want you to know that
I see this and I'm sorry.
345
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:54,867
"Through it all,
I always loved you.
346
00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,674
"And I want you to know
how very much
347
00:38:57,740 --> 00:39:01,881
"I respect who you are
and the choices you've made.
348
00:39:01,948 --> 00:39:06,758
"You've built a beautiful family
and a beautiful life.
349
00:39:06,825 --> 00:39:12,035
You are a special
and truly wonderful person."
350
00:39:20,451 --> 00:39:22,991
A little meshuggener, maybe.
351
00:40:11,019 --> 00:40:13,725
I think I really changed.
352
00:40:13,792 --> 00:40:16,430
The therapy worked.
353
00:40:17,199 --> 00:40:19,169
I'm not going to do it again.
354
00:40:21,173 --> 00:40:25,716
I am never going to
hurt anyone again.
355
00:40:28,522 --> 00:40:30,826
That's not true.
356
00:40:30,892 --> 00:40:34,032
You're going to do it again.
357
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:36,704
We both know it.
358
00:41:00,986 --> 00:41:04,660
Mom! Can you come down here?!
359
00:42:53,679 --> 00:42:55,115
Did you know him?
360
00:42:55,181 --> 00:42:57,085
Not personally.
361
00:42:57,152 --> 00:42:59,824
I have colleagues who
were students of his.
362
00:42:59,891 --> 00:43:01,928
And I read his book.
363
00:43:01,995 --> 00:43:04,733
You know, I never read it.
364
00:43:05,802 --> 00:43:08,875
I don't even have a copy.
365
00:43:08,942 --> 00:43:11,615
Although, I think
I'm about to inherit
366
00:43:11,681 --> 00:43:13,952
like three boxes of them.
367
00:43:14,019 --> 00:43:18,227
I think one of the sections
is on parenting.
368
00:43:18,294 --> 00:43:20,331
Huh.
369
00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:22,803
I guess I should read it.
370
00:43:25,910 --> 00:43:28,213
So, how are you getting along?
371
00:43:31,621 --> 00:43:34,660
What happened was...
372
00:43:41,975 --> 00:43:45,448
I'm just worried for my kids.
373
00:43:45,516 --> 00:43:48,555
And my wife.
374
00:43:48,622 --> 00:43:50,959
And my sister.
375
00:43:54,199 --> 00:43:56,002
What about you?
376
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,313
It's been hard, but I'm okay.
377
00:44:06,691 --> 00:44:10,397
Do you want to tell me a little
more about yourself, Ezra?
378
00:44:11,968 --> 00:44:16,544
I'm... I'm not sure
where to start.
379
00:44:16,611 --> 00:44:19,382
Really anywhere's okay.
380
00:44:37,452 --> 00:44:39,723
I...
381
00:44:56,423 --> 00:45:00,832
♪♪ If you are the dealer,
I'm out of the game ♪
382
00:45:00,899 --> 00:45:05,408
♪♪ If you are the healer,
it means I'm broker than lame ♪
383
00:45:05,475 --> 00:45:10,519
♪♪ If thine is the glory,
then mine must be the shame ♪
384
00:45:10,586 --> 00:45:13,090
♪ You want it darker ♪
385
00:45:13,157 --> 00:45:16,196
♪ We kill the flame ♪
386
00:45:22,809 --> 00:45:25,648
♪ Magnified, sanctified ♪
387
00:45:25,715 --> 00:45:27,686
♪ Be the holy name ♪
388
00:45:27,753 --> 00:45:29,991
♪ Vilified, crucified ♪
389
00:45:30,058 --> 00:45:32,328
♪ In the human frame ♪
390
00:45:32,395 --> 00:45:33,999
♪ A million candles burning ♪
391
00:45:34,065 --> 00:45:36,704
♪ For the help that never came ♪
392
00:45:36,771 --> 00:45:39,309
♪ You want it darker ♪
393
00:45:44,854 --> 00:45:48,094
♪ Hineni, hineni ♪
394
00:45:48,161 --> 00:45:50,197
♪ I'm ready, my Lord ♪
395
00:46:21,326 --> 00:46:23,497
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