Original subtitles

[music playing]

You work with what you have.

The very definition of art,to take base quotidian reality

and transform it into a thing of beauty.

At least that's the goal.

Achieving it, though, isanother thing altogether.

[music playing]

[people chatting]

Buy you a drink?

I had one, thank you.

Well, then can I buy you another one?

I had a husband like you once onc

He also had his shortcomings.

Hey, friend.

[scoffs] We got a dress code here.

[people laughing]

[music playing]

[gasps]

[people laughing]

[breathing heavily]

[horns honking]

Hey, lover boy.

Get in.

[honking] - What?

The car.

Get in.

[honking]

[panting]

[STUTTERING] Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Cover yourself up, Neville.

First time out, they neverremember their clothes.

How do you know my name?

I'm your mentor.

You're my assignment.

The fact is, Neville, you're a vampire.

Sure.

Right.

I--I'm a vampire?

Just like me.

[music playing]

[carmilla laughs]

What's wrong, Neville?

This is just going to take a little getting

used to, being a vampire.

Consider the alternative!

Being dead?

dead O-- OK.

I'll be a vampire.

You have from sunset to sunrise in your body.

Daylight hours you sleep, no dreams.

You feed on blood, humanonly, at least once a week.

And if you don't, let's justsay it gets very unpleasant.

[wolves howling]

What about-- what about powers?

I mean, do I-- do I-- do Iget any powers, you know?

Can I be a-- can I be a bat?

[laughs] Only old timers can do animals.

But you can do in any human form,

and you can materializeobjects pretty much at will.

[owls hooting]

Right, like this car.

OK, you know, I want one of these.

Neville, why don't you start with some clothes?

Oh, OK.

[music playing]

[buzzing]

[explosion]

[music playing]

What's going on?

Where are we?

Home.

[bats screech]

Oh.

Right.

[owls hooting]

Oh, yeah, right.

Wait a minute, that's-- that's all I got?

[explosion]

Hey, nice.

Thanks.

No problem.

I've got to go.

I've got a date.

You should sack out, getready for tomorrow night.

Wait, what's tomorrow night?

Well, hopefully your first kill.

Oh, so I've really-- I'vereally got to do that, don't I?

Mm-hmm.

[owls hooting]

Uh, hey, Carmilla, this is-- this is

going to be really cool, right?

Being a vampire.

That's up to you, Neville.

[chuckles] Oh, yeah.

This is going to be very cool.

[music playing]

[wind whipping]

[crash]

[buzzing]

[laughing]

[people chatting]

Do you know you are--[clears throat] You know,

you are very, very beautiful.

Do you ever do any modeling?

[chuckles] As a matter of fact, I do.

Oh.

Are you from the continent?

Parii.

Oh, oui, Parii.

You're cute.

What's your name?

Nev.

Nev-- Sergio.

[chuckles] What?

Sergio.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Dominique.

Mm.

Got a light?

[scoffs] [bangs table] Bartender,

a light for the lady.

[music playing]

[neville grunts]

You don't like yours?

Hm, no, I don't smoke.

I-- I-- [coughs] I-- I burn!

[chuckles] Well, handsome,let's keep the fire burning.

[panting and moaning]

My place is around the corner.

I really want you.

Oh, you've got the place.

I've got the power.

Let's go.

[panting]

$200.

Huh?

$200.

It'll be the best money you ever spent.

You're-- you're a hooker?

[chuckles] [speaking french] love.

Wait, not me.

I'm a vampire.

Mm.

For $250, I'll do anything you say, lover.

Oh, Jesus, forget it.

$200 with the extra.

My best offer.

[WHISPERING] I'm great at games.

Yeah, well, you know, I-- I'm not, OK.

So.

Suit yourself, asshole!

[stomps away]

Why didn't you take her?

Because she was a hooker!

What-- what do you want me to catch something?

Neville, you're already dead.

She didn't want me, allright, she wanted my money.

OK, I understand.

Everybody want theirfirst time to be special.

[owls hooting]

How did you know?

D-- does it show?

I mean, is it that obvious?

Oh, my god.

You're a virgin, I mean, a real virgin!

Yes, yes.

Yeah, well, you know what,I can't help it, all right.

I've been trying all my life.

Yes, I'm sure you have.

Wow, it's-- it's just beenso long since I've had

to start from the ground up.

Hey, but-- but, you know, Idid get myself an apartment.

I mean, that-- that's a start, right?

[chuckles] Yes, Neville.

Just remember, anapartment's where you go,

a girl is where you start.

[music playing]

NEVILLE: I know that.

It's a tool, a goal, a visualization.

[music playing]

This place is perfect.

I mean, I have got everything here.

I got maid service.

I got a wet bar.

I've got-- I got a fireplace.

I've got a killer stereo system.

You know what else?

[sighs] Yeah, I know.

I still got to get the girl up here first.

Believe me, I've tried everywhere, all right.

Bars, museums, you know, the bus.

[sighs] Poor Neville.

I mean, look at you.

You've got poise and confidence.

You're-- you're smart, you're sexy,

you know, you're beautiful.

You're every guy's dream.

It's easy for you.

That's it.

Why not?

Why not what?

Be me.

Mind you, not exactly me.

Wh-- what are you talking about?

Well, you think it's so easy, why

don't you try being a woman?

[laughs] That's ridiculous.

I can't.

Oh, yes you can.

[buzzing]

[music playing]

[skids on floor]

[laughter]

[music playing]

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, [chuckles]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[neville coughs]

So what's your name, handsome?

Harry, yours?

Nev-- Nev-- Nevilla, Nevilla.

My parents always wanted a little boy.

So do I.

[laughs]

Uh, can I offer you--

Yo, two vodka shots.

[clears throat] So did youcome here for the food, or?

[neville laughs]

What's so funny?

Nothing.

You just remind me of someone I used to know.

Oh.

[drinks clink]

[neville burps]

One more?

Oh, Harry, it's OK.

You can peek.

I wouldn't wear this dressif I didn't want you to peek.

Am I sexy?

Poised?

You're-- you're beautiful.

[laughs] I like me you too.

[chuckles] Isn't this great?

Yeah.

This is great! [laughs]

[drinks bang on counter]

Harry, you've done it in a coffin before?

Uh, it's awful nice meetingyou, but I-- I gotta go.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Sorry.

[sighs] When I was a man I couldn't get laid.

Now that I'm a woman, I still can't.

I made a terrible woman.

[wolf howls]

Do I want to know the details?

I don't want to know the details.

How do you guys walk in those things anyway?

It's like riding abicycle, or sex, or killing.

Once you get the hang of it.

Oh, man, I am so parched.

I've gotta get something to drink.

[liquid boils]

Oh Oh, no.

It's started, hasn't it?

[owls hooting]

The very unpleasant part.

You have to feed and soon.

I know.

I know.

I just-- I just don't think I can do this.

Neville Burlington, you arenot going to make me look bad.

[scoffs] Don't-- don't--don't blame yourself, all right?

You're the best.

You're a fabulous vampire.

I'm sure that you get all ofthe tough cases, you know.

I haven't lost a newbie yet.

Don't blame yourself, all right?

It's me.

I'll-- I'll figure this out,or I'll try something new.

[explosion]

[buzzing]

[music playing]

[people chatting]

Hi.

You know, you have a beautiful shirt on.

Thank you.

And beautiful eyes, too.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm waiting for something.

So, I'll wait with you.

[girl chuckles]

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Have you been waiting long?- You're with him?

Yes, I told you I was waiting for someone.

[sighs] Thank you.

Now here's what we'll do.

I'll stay here long enough for that creep

to go find himself someone else to bother.

And I'll-- [scoffs] then I'll leave you alone.

At least let me buy you a drink.

Oh, [sighs] OK.

[scoffs] OK.

[music playing]

Cheers. [glasses clink]

Cheers.

W-- w-- were you waiting for someone?

No, not really.

You?

Well, no, no, not really I--

[girl laughs]

Oh, you know what?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm just-- I'm just--I'm just not good at this.

No, you-- you're doing just fine so far.

[people laughing in background]

[music playing]

[squeaking]

Um, I should, uh, warn you, my place is--

is kind of different.

[squeaking]

[buzzing]

Different Is a verygood word for it. [scoffs]

[music playing]

[squeaking]

[music playing]

[panting]

[music playing]

[kissing]

[gasps] No-- I-- there'ssomething-- [garbled speech]

Shh.

I really don't want to know.

[music playing]

[kissing]

[music playing]

[neville panting]

[music playing]

[squeaking]

[panting]

[music playing]

[squeaking]

[kissing]

[panting]

[music playing]

[panting]

[squeaking]

[buzzing]

[music playing]

[panting]

[music playing]

[panting]

[biting]

[gasping]

[sucking]

[breathing heavy]

That was amazing.

[sighs] I'd forgotten what it was like

to make old fashioned love.

Mm.

[giggles]

[panting]

Oop. [chuckles]

You tricked me!

No, I wanted you.

Sondra was just the only way I could get you.

Well-- well great.

You succeeded.

You managed to take my firsttime and turn it into-- to--

Into what?

I-- I don't know what.

[sighs] I mean, is this is part of the program?

If you can't teach them, seduce them.

Neville, you seduced me, remember?

Well, you set me up.

You're the first person in years I've

wanted to do without killing.

You really wanted me?

[WHISPERING] Yes.

[fire crackling]

Wow.

Neville, you're not bornwith style, you learn it.

And you're a very fast learner.

[buzzing]

[music playing]

You're interested, aren't you?

Interested in what?

Everything.

Maybe we are.

[arthur laughs]

Who are your new friends, Arthur?

They look absolutely delicious.

Cynthia and I are new in town.

Oh, well then you must let us show you around.

We know some very interesting sites.

Yes.

In fact, we live in one.

Oh, we're always lookingfor new experiences.

It makes our blood tingle.

Well, what are westanding around here for?

Your place or ours?

[buzzing]

[music playing]

[owls hooting]

[wolves howling]

ARTHUR: Oh, what great kink!

What's the rent?

[music playing]

CYNTHIA: Hm, darling, how romantic.

Our first meal together.

NEVILLE: This ought to make your blood tingle.

CYNTHIA: That feels good.

[moaning]

CYNTHIA: Ah!

What?

Stop!

[neville moaning]

Genius, talent, vision, inspiration,

words banded about all too frequently,

necessary but not sufficient.

What the artist really requiresis the patience to do it right.

Ah.

[chair creaks]

You see?

[music playing]