All language subtitles for S01E04 - Whose Goals Are We Chasing.en

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was a corporate lawyer
working 60 to 80-hour weeks

for many years.

I had spent the better
part of my life chasing

that American dream without ever
really thinking about what I

wanted to do with my life.

And I wasn't taking care
of myself physically.

I'd become a junk food addict.

I was not exercising at all.

I was 50 pounds overweight,
and I have a history

of addiction and alcoholism.

I was also very depressed.

And it all caught
up to me shortly

before my 40th birthday.

Late one evening as
I was making my way

up a simple flight of stairs,
I literally had to pause.

I was so winded.

I had tightness in my chest
and shortness of breath

and sweat on my brow and
really, like, fear in my heart

that I was on the precipice
of having a heart incident.

My whole life, my
mother would say,

you got to watch what
you eat and be careful,

but it all became very crystal
clear to me in that moment,

not only that I needed to
change how I was living,

how I was behaving,
how I was prioritizing

my time and my energy,
but also that I

wanted to make that change.

I had a willingness to
take a leap of faith

and try something different.

The first thing that I did was
a seven-day fruit and vegetable

juice cleanse, which
was crazy at the time.

It was so out of left field from
anything I'd ever experienced.

I'd never gone a single
day in my entire life

without eating solid food.

But I knew that that was
something that would kind

of shock me out of my habits.

It didn't have to do with
detoxing or any of that.

I just needed to do something
extreme to kind of reframe

my relationship with food,
and it was very effective

in that regard.

Over that seven-day
period, I can

remember lying on the couch,
being listless and sweating

and thinking, how am I going
to make it through the day?

But the remarkable
thing is that at the end

of that one-week week period,
I felt completely revitalized.

I had a resurgence of vitality
and energy and mental clarity

that I hadn't experienced
since I was a young person.

And I had all this
energy for the first time

in as long as I could remember.

So the impulse to actually
move myself physically

occurred to me,
which is something

I hadn't felt in a while also.

And so I started exercising
again, first very casually.

But I realized very quickly
that I enjoyed that,

and it was a big part of
what I was about as a child

and something that
I love very much

and had really
lost touch with it.

But I think what it evolved
into was this pursuit of trying

to unlock hidden potential.

In a very short period
of time after changing

my relationship with food, I
had completely transformed.

I lost 50 pounds.

I looked different.

I felt different.

It was quite radical, and
yet the changes that I made

were relatively simple.

And the thought
occurred to me, if I

could change this
drastically, this dramatically

in such a short
period of time, what

are the other areas of my life
that I'm overlooking where I'm

sitting on top of
mountains of potential

that I'm just not
consciously aware of?

And that's what lured me
into the world of triathlon

initially and ultimately into
ultra endurance athletics

because I was a
swimmer in college,

so I had that
background, and I knew

how to train and push myself.

And as I sort of got
fitter and more invested

in this food adventure
that I was on,

I started getting more
interested in fitness

in general.

And I had unfinished business
as a competitive swimmer,

and I never felt like I achieved
my potential as an athlete.

And so here I was
at 40, 41 years old

having this kind of renaissance
experience and thinking, well,

maybe I can be
competitive again.

Let's give this a go.

And I read this article about
this crazy race, Ultraman,

which is a double Ironman
distance triathlon that

circumnavigates the entire
big island of Hawaii

over three days.

It's 320 miles.

It's absolutely bananas.

It was like a light switch went
off in my mind and I thought,

that's the race for me.

It made no sense.

It's not logical at all.

It was more like this bizarre
calling that I felt. Like,

it just felt right.

I was like, that's
what I'm doing,

and I could see
myself, in my mind,

lining up at the start line.

I knew it was going to happen.

It was like a foregone
conclusion despite the fact

that it made no
sense whatsoever.

And I had one goal, and
that goal was don't die.

We don't set goals or
define success based on our own

self-identity but based on
what I call the culturescape.

The culturescape is that
tangled web of rituals, habits,

beliefs, mythologies,
practices that our culture,

our religions, our
countries, through schooling,

through education,
through media,

infuse us in terms of
what is the right way

to function in the world.

Now, post-World War
II, the culturescape

was really about rebuilding,
about being safe.

But in today's
world, we are safe.

And so in today's world,
the millennial generation,

the big thing that they want
to pursue is self-discovery,

is creation.

The problem is, the culturescape
keeps engulfing us and telling

us that we need
a college degree,

we need to get a good career,
we need to work the 9:00 to 5:00

so we can make partner
in that law firm

so we can have 2.5 cars in the
garage, a wife, and two kids

so that someday when we are 60,
we can finally retire and see

the world.

But the thing is, those
rules don't apply anymore.

The culturescape was
designed to keep us safe.

But it was never designed
to keep us happy.

We were taught in the
'80s and the '90s, which is

basically consumerism, which
was lean on other things,

which was attain power,
money, wealth, status,

and you'll feel good--

but you have an
entire economy now

that's chugged along pretty
well for decade after decade

after decade.

You've got a lot of comfort,
especially in the United States

and the Western worlds now.

We haven't solved
all the problems.

There's a lot of still people
living in just abject poverty.

But as more and more of the
world reaches middle class,

then they fought to get there,
then they kind of look around

go, is this it?

I still don't feel good.

I still feel like I
did when I was broke.

I still feel like I did
when I was struggling.

And people are having trouble
connecting with themselves.

As Henry David Thoreau said
so eloquently, I truly believe,

"the mass of men lead lives
of quiet desperation,"

and "what is considered
resignation is confirmed

desperation."

I think it was true in his time.

I think it's probably
more true now.

There are so many people who are
dissatisfied with their lives.

They're living their lives
reactively, compulsively,

and not mindfully
or consciously.

And it's really not
even their own fault.

We are living all in
this system that's

set up to drive us
onto career paths

that we're not consciously
choosing for ourselves

or that are out of alignment
with who we truly are.

But we take goals
that belong to society.

We take goals that
belong to our parents.

We take goals that
we think and justify

and rationalize that we
need in order to be happy.

And I found myself
reaching the pinnacle

of these mountains, the mountain
being a metaphor for life.

So I'd reached this
pinnacle, and I'd

stand on the top this mountain
and look around and go,

I thought I would
feel different.

I thought I'd be happy or I
thought I'd be more content.

And then I'd look
across the horizon.

I'd see another mountain
in the distance.

I'd go, ah, here's the problem,
I climbed the wrong mountain.

Now, when I climb that
mountain in the distance,

then I'll be happy.

And I would come down
off this, mountain

and I'd cross the valley.

And again, this valley
represented years of my life

in some cases.

And I'd climb another
mountain, which

represented another business,
another financial goal,

another material goal, or
even a relationship goal.

I'd get to the top of that, and
the same pattern followed me.

Why don't I just
stop and ask myself,

why, when I achieve
something, is it not enough?

Hunter S. Thompson,
the American writer,

in 1953 was asked to write
a letter to a friend.

His friend was
asking for advice.

Hunter says, the danger
with goal setting

is very often the goals that
you set are not your goals.

They are the
culturescape's definition

of how you are meant to
be safe in the world.

But that is one of the
sure response to misery,

to waking up one day
at the age of 40 going,

what the hell
happened to my life?

And so we always
have to question.

One of the keys to setting
goals that are really going

to be incredible for you
is, do they excite you?

If you look at them on
that piece of paper,

does it bring you to life?

Does it bring you joy?

Does it make you have
those little mix of fear

and anticipation,
and you're like,

you can't wait to
dive into them?

If not, something's
probably wrong.

So if we're setting goals out
of fear or a place of pain,

that's not necessarily bad.

We can either change
our lives from a space

of inspiration or desperation.

And so many of us hit a pain
point where we're suffering,

we're depressed.

We have hit this
place in our lives,

whether it's emotionally
in a relationship,

financially in our careers,
where something is not working.

And we find ourselves
feeling like we're beating

our head against a wall.

If you're setting a goal out of
I can't take this pain anymore,

that's not necessarily
bad because we

have to start where we are.

But when you're
looking at your goals,

if they don't make you
want to jump out of bed,

stay up all night,
just get so fired up

about figuring out how to
bring them into the world,

then I think it's time
for some re-evaluation.

I think a lot of people
set goals based on what

their family or their
peers want them to do.

And that's good if it's
also what you want to do.

But a lot of times,
people chase things

that they don't fully
love, and so they're

living someone else's life.

So I think you
got to figure out,

what are the things that brings
you the most joy, the most

passion, the most meaning?

For me, it was simple
as I just love jumping

into a swimming pool in the
morning or I love the feeling

of how the sun hits my shoulder
on a trail run at dawn.

Those were things I wanted
to have more of in my life--

very simple, basic, ultimately
quite primal instincts.

2008 was my first
Ultraman, and I

was very conservative in my
approach and very conscious

that I was a newcomer
in this sport.

But I ended up being the
second fastest American.

I think I was 11th
overall that year,

far exceeding my expectations
and the expectations

of everyone else
involved in the event.

So I thought, what would happen
if I trained a whole year

and went back to that race fully
prepared with some experience?

So in 2009, that's what I did.

I was the fastest American that
year and was sixth overall.

Ultraman was really driven
by this question, this quest

that I was on, which
was to determine

the outer limits
of my capabilities,

physically, mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually.

What am I truly capable of if
I really put it on the line

and test myself?

When I was a kid, I was
watching sports with my dad

on the couch, and we'd see
these all-Americans who were

the greatest in the
country, and I said, well,

that's what I want to be.

I want to be one of the
greatest in the country.

That was the dream,
and I actually

achieved that dream of being
all-American in two sports.

But then, ultimately, it's to
go get paid to do what you love,

and that was to be a
professional football player.

I did it for a little
bit until I got injured.

I broke my wrist diving into
a wall playing arena football

and snapped my wrist.

And so for the next
year and a half,

I was on my sister's couch,
six months in a full arm cast.

I didn't have a college
degree at the time.

I didn't really go to
school to learn anything

except for to play sports.

So I didn't have
any other skills.

This was in the height of the
economic challenge in the US

in 2008, 2009, where people with
degrees weren't getting jobs.

I really didn't know
what to do next.

My whole identity was wrapped
around in being an athlete,

and now I couldn't
do that anymore.

Your friends no longer
want to hang out with you.

You're not getting acknowledged.

So for me, it was extremely
depressing for many months.

It's really challenging when you
lose your identity, especially

as an athlete.

This is the way
you've been praised.

This is the way you've been
acknowledged your entire life

as being this good or great
athlete, known for this one

thing that you can do.

So when you can no
longer do the one thing

that everyone praises you
and acknowledges you for,

then you don't get
acknowledgment anymore.

So I'm just thinking,
well, who am I?

Why am I here?

What's my purpose?

And that's the challenge is
rediscovering and reinventing

my purpose once I lost my dream.

So I had to learn about just how
to become a better human being

and not rely on my
athletic abilities.

In my first half
my life, I really

was committed to my dreams in
order to prove people wrong.

I wanted to be a professional
athlete because people

said I couldn't do it, because
kids picked on me, because I

was picked last on
the dodgeball game,

because I didn't have
many friends growing up

in elementary school.

So I said, I'm going
to do this to prove

everyone wrong about me and to
prove to them how good I am.

So for the first
half of my life,

I was driven by a negative
fuel around this goal,

and that negative
drive was so powerful

that it allowed me to--

it helped me to achieve my goal.

I was so focused.

I knew exactly what I wanted.

But the energy behind
it was negative.

It was to prove five people
wrong who doubted me.

And so when I
achieved my goal, I

remember feeling
so empty inside.

It's like, OK, I had the goal.

I had the structure.

I had the game plan, the
daily actions, all the things

we talk about, and it happened.

Why am I still not happy?

Why am I unfulfilled?

Why was I actually angrier after
I achieved it than ever before?

I was so disciplined
for 15 years of my life,

and now I got exactly what I
wanted, and I wasn't happy.

And I reflected on this and
said, well, maybe my goal

is just not big enough.

I need to go after
a bigger goal.

And so I kept going after these
unrealistic goals in business

and life, but it was all
based on this negative fuel

of proving people wrong.

So often when someone
sets out to achieve something

significant that
they've set out--

and even though they have
this inkling in their soul

that this is not me
anymore, this this

is not aligned to who I am--

they've set it out as an
intention to the world,

so they can't let it go.

So we just stubbornly
move towards the edge

of the cliff, which represents
an emotional crisis,

a breakdown, a slap in the face,
whatever you want to call it.

The question I always ask is,
who are you seeking validation

from?

And if you sit
with that question

and honestly answer that,
truthfully look in the mirror

and really answer that question
and sit with that question,

I have never found a human being
that's not seeking validation

from somebody else.

And typically, it's
those closest to us.

So if we think about
humans, a lot of humans

care deeply what
other people think.

You bring that back to your own
home, your family, your mother,

your father, typically, you
can multiply that by 1,000.

And when you look
at that and then

you basically look at
the goals and dreams

that you've set for
yourself, what you'll find

is often you're trying
to achieve something

because you want to get that
approval, that validation

from your dad, from your mother.

I have literally
worked with athletes

who have gone to the
pinnacle of their career--

they have gone to
the Olympics, they

have gone to the
World Cup soccer--

and their single motivation,
when you get to the core,

was they wanted their father,
in most cases-- some cases,

their mother--

to turn round and say,
I am proud of you.

I love you.

And they have spent
10 and 15 and 20

years trying to achieve
the pinnacle of this sport

for no other reason
than seeking validation

from the person that has
been close with them most

of their lives.

And I realized I was trying
to prove people wrong still,

and that's when I
shifted to saying,

I'm not going to try to
prove people wrong anymore,

I'm going to try to lift others
up and prove people right

and live a life of
service and impact people.

And that's when I felt at
peace about my goal setting.

Michael Beckwith taught
me a model which is really

interesting.

It's called Kensho
versus Satori.

When you're living life moving
towards a particular purpose,

there are two very important
things to understand.

Life helps us grow
and correct and evolve

true Kensho, which
is growth by pain,

or Satori, which is
growth by insight.

Every now and then, you'll
have a Satori moment,

a sudden awakening, a eureka
moment, an insight that

helps you move forward.

But, for most people, that isn't
really going to be as easy.

Most of us grow true Kensho.

Kensho is growth from pain.

You fall sick and
end up hospitalized,

but you emerge with newfound
respect for your body

and making new
choices in how you're

going to treat your health.

You start a business, and
it fails, and it's painful,

but that's Kensho
because now you

know what not to do
in your next business.

A relationship dissolves, and
you experience heartbreak.

But that's Kensho
because now you

know the man or woman you
need to evolve to to create

even better relationships.

So when you see life
as Satori moment,

sudden awakenings, and
Kensho, growth through pain,

fear dissolves because
you know that even when

something bad happens
to you, it's simply

a friendly universe giving
you a lesson or fine tuning

and tweaking your direction
so you can get to your purpose

even faster.

When we have difficult times,
that difficulty can either

define us, it can diminish
us, or it can develop us.

We hear a lot about
post-traumatic stress,

but we don't hear a lot about
this other area of study

called post-traumatic growth.

This is where you come
through difficulty,

you come through adversity,
and on the other side,

you would never wish those
situations for anybody,

but you also wouldn't
change it for yourself,

that because you went through
those challenging times,

it changed you, that you
found a deeper meaning.

You found a new strength.

You found your mission.

You found your purpose going
through those difficult times.

I don't know a lot
of people in life

that have a strength that had
easy lives, really easy lives,

because through our
struggles, we find sometimes

our superpowers.

I had pretty much followed
the prescription for happiness.

I went to graduate school.

I got a business degree, an MBA.

I had a cush corporate
job with all the perks.

I had stock options,
company car.

These things are supposed
to bring you happiness,

and I thought that would
be the case with me,

and I wasn't happy.

I was young, I was successful,
and I was miserable.

I didn't like being
a business guy.

It wasn't who I was.

I was in a nightclub on my
30th birthday getting drunk

with my buddies, and
at 11 o'clock at night,

I had a midlife crisis,
an epiphany, if you will.

And I said, you
know, I don't like

the course my life
is going down,

and I'm going to
change it right now.

I'm going to become
a runner again.

I used to love to
run when I was a kid,

but I hadn't run
in over a decade.

And I just saw
that I would either

pursue a life of kind
of quiet desperation

or I would do what I
really wanted to do,

and that was exploration and
run and just see the world.

And I had no idea I was
going to pay for it all,

but I thought, you know, it
just feels better doing this.

So I left the night club.

I walked out of the bar, 11
o'clock at night, and said,

I'm leaving.

I'm running 30 miles right now.

Three sheets to the
wind, I just took off,

started running south
from San Francisco.

I knew if I made it
to a town called Half

Moon Bay, that
was 30 miles away.

About 15 miles into
it, I sobered up,

and I thought, what
the hell am I doing?

But it just felt
right, so I kept going.

And that night forever changed
the direction of my life.

I'm a prolific
runner, and I love

running in extreme
conditions as well as

running extreme distances.

So I've run across Death
Valley in the middle of summer

towards over 130
degrees Fahrenheit.

I've run a marathon
to the South Pole.

I've run across the Gobi,
across the Atacama Desert.

I ran across the Ancient
Silk Road from Uzbekistan

through Kyrgyzstan
to Kazakhstan.

I've run on all seven
continents twice now.

I wanted to run a marathon
every state of the union,

and my kids only had 50
days off for summer break--

so yeah, 50 marathon, 50
states, 50 consecutive days.

Running and physical endurance
is the way I kind of manifest

that striving to be the best
that I can be, to reach my,

as the Greeks say,
the [SPEAKING GREEK],,

the perfect alignment of
mind, body, and spirit.

So other people can
achieve their bestness

through following
their own passion,

and running isn't for everyone.

I like to tell
people, if it's basket

weaving you love, throw
your heart and your passion

into basket weaving, and
you'll make a go of it.

I mean, people are like,
how am I ever going

to make a living doing this?

It's ridiculous.

You'll figure out
a way if you follow

what you are truly happy about.

And I tell people,
script your perfect life.

Just take a pen and
a sheet of paper--

not a computer-- and just
freeform, just in one paragraph

describe what your day
would look like if you

were living the perfect life.

Dream.

Make it outrageous.

And then you have
kind of a blueprint

of where you want to go.

You really need to
look inward, and that

requires quiet
reflection, which is

hard to find in our
modern day, right?

I mean, you're
constantly bombarded

with noise and distractions.

I can tell if somebody
is trapped in conformity

by looking at their first
60 minutes this morning.

That's how I know.

Are you really living your life?

Let's gauge it.

If you wake up and you do what
86% of smartphone owners do--

they grab their phone.

It's right next to the bed.

They grab their phone,
they look at it,

and they go into
the social media.

They go into their email.

They go into their text, their
voice message, their games,

and they're starting
their day in reaction.

If you're living a conforming
life, it means you're waking up

and you are a consumer.

That's how you know .

You're waking up.

Your mind is not
directing the day.

You're not planning.

You're not asking what you want.

People who wake
up and they check

their inbox is a great example.

The inbox is nothing but a
convenient organizing system

of other people's agendas.

So you wake up, you check in.

It's all these people
asking you for something,

and now it's the world directing
your attention and your day.

One of the biggest things we
have to look at is how addicted

we are to our screens and how
much that we've given control

over to technology, thinking
about how often we're looking

at our phones, how many times--

I think it's up to 150
per day at a minimum

that people are picking up their
phones and checking on them.

And all we're doing
is giving away

our time, our power,
and our attention.

There's no connection in
there with a real human being.

There's no connection
with nature.

We're losing connection with
our own body, our vessel,

all of the wisdom inside
that tells us whether or not

we're on track or
we're off track

because, again, we're screen
sucking so much of the time.

So I think that, apart
from materialism,

I think so much of the
problem, at least right now

and it will probably
continue, is

how much time we're spending
looking at our phones

and looking at screens.

We weren't designed
to live this way.

So many of us live
these sedentary lives.

We're staring at a screen, what,
eight, nine, 12 hours a day,

spending hardly
any time in nature,

very little time
with our loved ones.

Even when we are
having a dinner,

how many times are kids
either on their iPads

or looking at phones?

And everybody's checking
texts and Instagram

and all social media.

All of that is leaving
us feeling so empty,

and what we're doing
is reaching for things,

whether it's material things
or food or anything else,

to try and fill up these holes
because we're lacking presence,

and we're lacking connection,
and we're lacking the sense

that we actually matter.

It's like, we have so much
happening, so much wisdom

in these bodies.

All of our intuition
lives in there.

All of our creativity
lives in our body.

And if we deaden it because
we're living from the neck up

and we're constantly
just in these screens,

we're missing out on the joy
and the beauty and the passion

and the energy of what
this life is about.

So part of what we need to
do is understand that we're

in control, not these phones.

We did this study in High
Performance Academy where we

said, you cannot check your
email or any social media

for the first 60
minutes of your day.

We increased
productivity in people's

self-reported productivity
over the course of seven days

by 30%, and it held for 90 days.

Imagine if you got 30%
more productively each day.

Well, the way you do it,
stop conforming to what

the world is throwing at you.

Don't wake up and go
into reaction mode.

Wake up and say, what do I
want this day to be about?

Wake up and set some good
intentions for yourself.

Wake up and move your body
to open up some health,

open up some breath,
open up some endorphins.

Sit down with a piece
of paper and say, OK,

what are my main projects today?

Who do I need to reach out
to and ask questions of?

So it's like, first
plan your day.

Ask what you want of it
before you go and say,

what does everybody else need?

Our culturescape has
taught us an if-then version

of happiness.

If I get this job,
then I will be happy.

If I get this girl,
then I will be happy.

The problem with that is
that happiness, you see,

is not a byproduct
of getting something.

Happiness is a state of
being, and happiness is not

what you get from
achieving your goal.

Happiness is rocket
fuel towards your goal.

Happiness moves you
towards your goals.

Happiness increases
your productivity.

Doctors who are
primed to be happy

are 19% better at
performing diagnoses.

Salespeople who
are more optimistic

are 50% better than
pessimistic salespeople.

Students do better
in their tests

when they are
primed to be happy.

So the trick, the real
trick to success in life

is not to not set goals,
it's to have these goals,

but to untangle your
happiness from these goals,

to be happy before
you attain them,

to use that happiness as
a fuel so that day to day,

as you're pursuing these
goals, which can get tricky,

which can get challenging,
that happiness

is like your ally
that moves you along,

that helps dampen the downsides
of occasional obstacles

or failure, that
carries you forward,

that puts you in an
optimistic level of mind

so you attract the
right people, you

can work with the right
people to pursue your goal.

So I think all of us
get to think about, well,

what is the thing that brings us
the most joy, the most passion,

the most excitement for life,
because that is going to fuel

our actions when we go
through adversity, challenges,

struggles, stress, depression,
because we're all going to face

challenges.

So what's the fuel
that's going to get us

through those
challenges of life?

And I think our
why and our vision

support us in having that fuel.

I grew up in a trailer--

my mom and dad, four kids.

We had a lot of canned food,
like hot dogs, smoked sausages.

I grew up on powdered milk
and all the processed food.

And I always felt, like,
a little bit left out,

a little bit different
because we didn't have much.

And the kids would make
fun of me and my clothes

and being skinny,
and just everything

was very much bullied
a lot at a young age.

I wasn't used to
being around people.

All I knew was I wanted
to get out of the country.

I wanted to be a
part of the in crowd.

I didn't want to be the country
girl with the Helping Hand

clothes and hair was
always messed up.

I didn't know what to do,
so I turned to sports.

And at first, I tried to
try out for cheerleading,

didn't make the team.

I tried out for basketball.

I was so clumsy.

I had a growth spurt, didn't
make the basketball team.

So I remember thinking
that, like, what can I do,

who do I have to be, because, as
I was, I didn't feel accepted.

I didn't feel loved.

And so I started to run.

And I said, I know, I
can get on the track team

because I would run
and catch the bus,

and I'd always get close
to beating my brothers,

and I was really fast.

So didn't make the
cheerleading team, didn't

make the basketball, so I
went out for track and field,

and I made the track
and field team.

When I started getting
on a track and field team

and getting these accolades
and getting faster and faster,

I found my sense of purpose.

It was like, oh, I'm important
because I can run fast,

and people are nice
to me, are kind to me.

My mom and dad cheer for me.

And so that was my first
feeling of being accepted.

When I went through
college my first year,

I was training so hard.

I wasn't getting enough sleep.

I graduated with a 3.8,
but all those studies

left me not getting
enough sleep,

not getting enough
recovery time.

We were supposed to get in the
cold whirlpool, rehab our body,

go swimming, things
to counterbalance

all the things we were
doing on the track,

and I would skip
those things to study.

And so eventually,
my sophomore year,

I got a stress fracture
in my lower back.

And it was the most
devastating thing

that had happened
to me because I

was slated to win the
conference the next year,

and all of a sudden, my
coach was like, I'm sorry,

you're out for the season.

And I'm just, like--

it was just in shock.

I didn't believe it,
and I got really sad.

I was crying in
classes, and my teachers

sent me to the counselor.

And the counselor was
like, you know what,

I think you should try yoga.

And at the time, I didn't
know what yoga was.

I just thought yoga
was Buddha, and it

was separate from Christianity,
and I couldn't do it.

But she was like, no,
it's just stretching.

I was like, OK, well,
I don't have a choice.

I got kicked out of class.

I gotta go do this
yoga stretching thing.

And so I went to
class, and I remember

trying to do a
Headstand, and I felt

like my brain was going to
ooze out the top of my skull.

I was just like, I
am not made for this.

This is painful,
and this is not me.

And I remember my teacher
seeing me struggle.

She came up to me,
and she looked at me,

and she was like, I just
want you to breathe.

I took a big inhale with
her, and we exhaled together,

and for that moment,
I felt spirit.

Then eventually, after a
year of swimming and biking

and meditation and
yoga, I came back

to win the conference
meet in college,

and I led Wichita State to its
first women's championship.

And it was because of yoga.

And so, of course, I
was like, yay, win.

So I moved to
California to train

in San Diego, which is close
to the Olympic Training Center

because if I'm so close--

I've only had one year.

If I could do all
of that in one year,

what can I do if I had a
really great coach and really

great training?

And I came out here and I did.

Every time I stepped
on the track,

I got better and
better and better.

But, again, I wasn't
taking care of myself.

I became a personal
trainer at 24 Hour Fitness.

I was working from
5:00 AM to 10:00,

and then I'd run track
from 11:00 to about 3:00,

and then I would go back and
work from 5:00 to 10:00 again.

I had a full list of clients,
getting great results

with them, but I was
getting very little

sleep and, of course,
very little recovery.

So what happens?

Injured again-- this time,
I pulled my hamstring.

So here I am, injured again,
and so where do I turn--

yoga, meditation.

This time, it healed me
again, and this time, I

was like, you know what,
there's something to this.

This is amazing.

And I was like, you know what,
I can't let this go again.

I need to commit to
this as a lifestyle

and not just come
in and out of it.

So I decided to sign up
for my first yoga teacher

training and not just any
yoga teacher training.

I signed up for Ashtanga,
which is the hardest

form of yoga you possibly do.

And in that 30 days, I
completely changed my life.

I had visions.

I felt so connected.

I saw my purpose.

I saw me making a difference
in people's lives.

I didn't know how.

I didn't know I would be
doing what I'm doing today,

but I knew that I was going to
be doing something great just

using my life and my voice.

And in that moment, I made a
commitment to do yoga daily.

The last time I
checked, which was 2015,

there were 1,400 different
studies on the power

of meditation, everything
from helping reduce the onset

of heart disease to helping
improve your skin to improving

productivity to improving
compassion and empathy.

So meditation is one
of those powerful tools

that any human being can
bring in their life to improve

their functioning in the world.

The thing is, we don't
know why meditation works.

Nobody has yet figured
out the exact reasons

why meditation causes
all of these feelings.

There are theories, but no
one has really boiled it down.

But just because we
don't know why it works

doesn't mean we can't use it.

I mean, for the longest
time, human beings

had no idea what the sun was.

Ancient cultures thought it
was a god or a giant fireball,

but we could still use
the sun for agriculture,

for navigation, for warmth,
for direction, for heat.

And likewise, we don't
know why meditation works,

but 1,400 studies have now shown
that meditation pretty much

enhances so many multiple
dimensions of human living

that every single
human being should

be making this part of
their daily practice.

I know so many people that
meditate from sports stars

to high performers
on every level,

and everyone has their own
flavor and their own style.

Some people it's a
form of visualization,

and some people it's just
a form of concentration.

Everyone has to find
their own practice.

But what we know,
without any doubt,

is that all of the science of
both mindfulness and meditation

is proving over
and over again, we

can decrease our stress
by will, by going

into a meditative
state we can improve

our overall health by will by
going into a meditative state.

We can improve our daily
productivity, our creativity,

our resilience,
our relationships.

Every facet of our life we
can improve by meditation,

but meditation
doesn't just happen.

You have to take the
time and go in that.

Place.

So there's tools out there,
but the first step is to really

give yourself permission to
slow down and giving yourself

permission to do nothing.

And that nothingness can come
on your meditation pillow,

or that nothingness can come
even if you give yourself

five minutes in the morning
to sit with your tea

and look out the window with
no device near you at all,

with no to-do list in your
mind, but to do nothing.

I do it when
I'm in a taxicab.

Instead of talking with the
cab driver, I'm like, well,

you know what, he's going to
talk to the next five people,

don't need to talk to me.

Close my eyes.

I meditate.

I also have
transition meditation,

which I think is the most
important thing today

because people are trying
to do so many things.

Transition meditation
means, OK, let's say

I have two big activities--
got to check my inbox,

and then I have to
create a presentation.

Well, I don't just do my
email and then jump in

and start creating that.

Instead, as soon as I'm done
with the email, I get up,

I'll go walk around,
I'll get some water,

I'll come back down,
I'll sit, and I'll just

do a quick two,
three-minute meditation,

then I'll start
the presentation.

It's like, I tell people, hey,
if you're a dad or you're a mom

and you're coming home from
work and your spouse or the kids

are in the house, don't take
that long commute where you're

frustrated and you're giving the
bird to everybody who cuts you

off and then you go in the house
with that energy of the day.

Pull up to your house, turn the
engine off, close your eyes,

and let yourself turn
off for a minute.

Take a five, 10, 15-minute
meditation, then get up ,

then go into the house.

That transition from the
commute to going into the house

gives you time to reset,
to have some intention,

and to go in the house as
a better mom, better dad,

a better caregiver, a better
lover, because if we just

keep going from one thing to
another thing to another thing,

to another thing, another
thing, not only does that

lead to burnout, it
makes us miss life.

It makes us lack
the ability to bring

good energy into a moment.

And so I tell people, find your
moments in between everything.

There is nothing-- if I
have a full day of calls

and then I gotta
go meet my wife,

I'm going to meditate
between those two.

I have to, otherwise
she's going to get Brendan

who just did the calls guy.

I don't want her
to have that guy.

I want her to have her husband.

And the only way I
can show up for her

is a transition meditation.

And as a human being
who is very driven,

who is very type A, who
works and puts effort

into everything, it's a really
wonderful counterbalance.

And I also loved that
it's not necessarily

attached to any
particular religion

and that it's really
open for all of us.

I found that I can use all of my
type A, driven, get-it-doneness

in the rest of my life
and have this really

beautiful, simple,
straightforward practice

to help me dip down into
this infinite intelligence,

this cosmic consciousness
that I think many of us

have experienced or felt at
different times in our life,

whether we're with a loved
one or we're witnessing

the beauty of a flower or
even in profound sadness when

we feel this level of
connection of oneness

with everyone and everything.

And when I come out
of my meditation,

I find myself feeling a
level of energy and charge

that, frankly, I haven't
been able to access

through any other method.

You have to be an active,
consistent meditator.

Meditation is
absolutely crucial.

It allows you to gain the
upper hand and the control

over that thinking brain
and that idle chatter

and allows you to
be fully immersed

in that present moment.

And as an athlete, that's key.

You can't enter that flow
state that you hear about

if you're entertaining thought.

You have to be fully present
in what you're doing.

And what happens when you
are consistently meditating

is that you develop this acumen.

It's like push-ups
for the brain.

And you then are the
master of the brain

rather than being its slave.

When you meditate, you
go into this brainwave state

called alpha.

Alpha state is the state
of a relaxed awareness,

and relaxed awareness is
where you can train yourself,

actually, to learn
a language faster,

to be able to learn rapidly
because your conscious mind is

actually set aside and you
just absorb information faster.

And we can see the brain
opens in so many new areas when

we reach that state, meaning
that you tap into different

things that were not
accessible before.

And when you then
start to connect

those areas and those thoughts
and basically that network

of trillions of nerve cells,
you can develop intuition.

Intuition is just
our internal wisdom.

It's this natural knowing
that each of us have

that oftentimes we're
never listening to.

One of the benefits that I
had was my mom trained me ever

since I was little to listen to
the still, small voice inside.

And she said, you
know, you will always

know the right move to make if
you tap inside and you listen.

There will always be an answer.

So I heard this message
over and over again.

So whenever in my adult life
I'm wondering which way to go,

I get quiet and I pay
attention to what's

happening on the inside.

Intuition is something that's
been undervalued for many,

many years.

I think people are starting to
really appreciate and respect

the fact that it has
huge value and not

just in our personal lives.

People think of an
intuition as just,

oh, it's some fluffy, kind
of personal concept thing,

and it just works
in my personal life.

It's got a massive
application in business.

How many of us have
got into relationships

that we know in our heart and
soul, we know it's not aligned,

whether it's in business or
it's in a personal relationship?

We do it anyway,
and it goes south.

We get screwed eventually.

And sometimes we blame the
person, sometimes we get angry.

But if we looked in
the mirror and said,

OK, did you really know that
that was in alignment or not,

and often the case
is we absolutely did.

And I think sometimes we're
absorbing so much information

that we're not giving it
time to go from information

to knowledge, knowledge
to wisdom, and wisdom

to awareness because
I'm too busy running

to the next book and the
next book and the next book.

I'm absorbing so
much information,

but I'm not allowing it to
translate into awareness

and understanding.

So to me, intuition is
one of these things that's

been suppressed,
it's been blocked,

and I would encourage
anybody in the world,

if they want it, if they want
to get in touch with more

intuition, if they want to
increase their intuition,

if they want to
uncover more of it,

don't go looking
for it externally.

Ask yourself, why isn't it?

Why am I not in touch with it?

What's blocking it?

Intuition has just been blocked.

It's already there.

We all have it.

I believe that there is a
tremendous amount of guidance

that I don't see
with my physical eye.

And I believe that
my primary job

is to just be in alignment
with that source.

And as I align, I can
hear that guidance.

I can allow that guidance
to show up in my life,

open invisible doors, write
through me, speak through me,

just move through me
in magnificent ways.

And trust me, there's
plenty of things

I get hung up about, things
that are out of my control,

but I continue to come back
to that space of surrender

because, as a human, I'm having
a human experience of wanting

and trying to control timing of
things that are completely out

of my hands.

But those are momentary lapses,
and I've transformed that fear

into faith, and I've
chosen to allow that faith

muscle to be stronger.

So it's not that I measure
my spiritual success based

on how perfectly aligned I am.

I really measure it based
on how quickly I come back

to alignment.

Take care of yourself.

A lot of people go hard at their
career, go hard at parenting,

and without taking
care of yourself,

you really can't
take care of others.

The more you take
care of yourself,

the more energy you're going
to have to pour into others.

Fill your cup and then serve
others from the overflow.

That's something one of my
favorite speakers always says.

It's Lisa Nichols.

She's just like, you're supposed
to serve from your saucer.

Meditation and yoga,
all that together was

making me a stronger person.

Every day, I felt
stronger and stronger.

Some of the things that I
experienced when I was younger,

I started to release and
let go through practicing

more and more yoga.

And it's like, the more
yoga that I practiced,

the more I was able
to release the past

and step into my strength
as a person, as a teacher,

and as a leader.

Pay attention to that
little voice there and bring

expression to that in your
own life and, in so doing,

to perhaps connect with yourself
more deeply and ultimately

express a more authentic
version of who you are.

We're all interconnected,
and to contribute your utmost

to society, to humanity, I think
you need to pursue what it is

that's uniquely within you.

And I just think that that is
the best course for humanity.

If everyone was to do
that, I think the world

would be a happier place.

I think that we are all,
all of us without exception,

sitting on top of mountains of
untapped human potential just

waiting to be unlocked
and unleashed.

And I was lucky enough
to wake up at 40

and embark upon this journey.

And my responsibility
with what I've experienced

is to share with
others in hopes that I

can help to activate and
catalyze their version of what

I've experienced.

Of course, not everyone wants to
be an ultra endurance athlete.

It's not about that.

My hope is that people can
look at those experiences

and my story and
draw inspiration

from that to then examine their
own lives under a microscope

to better identify what
it is within them that has

gone unaddressed for too long.

Your dreams matter
because you matter.

So follow your
dreams because that's

the thing that brings
us the most joy, when

we have something
to look forward to,

when we have something
we want to chase.

It gives us a purpose,
a reason, and a meaning

to get up every single
day and make a difference.

What is it about you
that makes you uniquely you?

What gets you out of
bed in the morning

and excited about your life?

And I'm not suspecting
that everybody's

going to have an answer
to that immediately,

but I think exploration
of that inquiry

is the path forward
to ultimately living

a more purposeful,
meaningful life,

because if you can
identify that thing--

and it can be as silly as I
like making paper-mache birds,

or I want to tell
jokes on stage,

or I want to learn how
to play the guitar.

It doesn't have to be
that thing of like, well,

I'm just going to
quit my job overnight.

But I think the more
you can invest yourself

in that journey of
trying to identify

what it is that you are here to
do, that is the path forward.

And I think if you commit
yourself fully to that,

you will be amazed at
what transpires over time.

[MUSIC - NICK BROADHURST,
"ALWAYS YOU"]

(SINGING) Going back to
where the story all began,

do you want to hear the
journey of this man?

So maybe, maybe you're
gonna call me crazy,

a feeling I know
it can't be wrong.

So one day, you're
gonna be my lover.

Everybody run for cover.

The ceiling's coming down.

And one day, we're
gonna be forever.

Everybody said we'd never.

The ceiling's coming down.

So stop.

I'm gonna be there for you now.

Don't run.

I'm gonna be there for you now.

You, always you, always you.

I'll walk through the
sunshine and the rain.

I believe that second
chances come again.

So maybe, maybe,
no longer call us

crazy, a feeling I
know it wasn't wrong.

So one day, you're
gonna be my lover.

Everybody run for cover.

The ceiling's coming down.

And one day, we're
gonna be forever.

Everybody said we'd never.

The ceiling's coming down.

So stop.

I'm gonna be there for you now.

Don't run.

I'm gonna be there for you now.

You, always you.