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1
00:00:02,701 --> 00:00:03,767
[***]
2
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,501
Come along, children.
Don't dawdle.
3
00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:17,033
Nina, what's going on?
4
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:21,267
Well, these are my children,
Estee and Vidal.
5
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:22,367
Since when?
6
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,601
Since I'm getting audited today.
7
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,300
They think they're here
for a movie audition.
8
00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,901
Okay, children,
just run along and play.
9
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:35,434
Help yourself to coffee.
10
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:36,601
You're getting audited?
11
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,601
You should have used my guy.
12
00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:41,133
He's a creepy little weasel
who knows every loophole
13
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:43,801
and gets a sexual thrill
out of cheating the feds.
14
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,167
Who is he?
15
00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:48,567
Me.
16
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:50,234
Are you really that good?
17
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:53,067
Last year,
the government paid me 20 grand
18
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:54,267
not to grow corn.
19
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:56,868
You're hired.
20
00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:59,334
[POUNDING]
21
00:00:59,334 --> 00:01:00,434
Not again.
22
00:01:00,434 --> 00:01:01,434
What is that?
23
00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:03,367
Jack got
halfway through his memoirs
24
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,767
and got writer's block,
25
00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,000
so he's been bouncing
that ball against the wall
26
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,234
for three days.
27
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,534
Ah, that's irritating.
28
00:01:09,534 --> 00:01:10,601
That's nothing.
29
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:12,067
You missed
what will forever be known
30
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:14,000
as "Banjo Thursday."
31
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,534
which was immediately followed
by "Missing-banjo Friday."
32
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:21,567
Hey.
Hey.
33
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,767
You're back.
34
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:25,167
Oh. I hear your dad's
driving you nuts.
35
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,167
Not for long.
36
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,968
I've got the solution.
37
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:31,067
Great. Sneak up behind him
and make it one clean blow.
38
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,100
Still blocked?
39
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:39,367
I'm going nuts.
40
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,267
Well...
41
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,801
maybe this will help.
42
00:01:44,801 --> 00:01:45,801
Tah-dah.
43
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:48,968
I don't believe it.
My old royal.
44
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:51,567
Surefire cure
for writer's block.
45
00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:55,133
I hope so, because
I can't find my banjo.
46
00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,667
Okay...
47
00:01:56,667 --> 00:02:01,767
Here we go.
48
00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:03,367
Ready to write.
49
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:04,434
Mm-hmm.
50
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,701
Nothing.
51
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,901
Okay. Well, one step at a time.
52
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:12,234
Where are you stuck?
53
00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:14,501
1969.
54
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,634
Okay. What happened that year?
55
00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:18,901
Well, let's see...
56
00:02:18,901 --> 00:02:22,000
I slept with
three of the gold diggers.
57
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,601
Okay, fine. After that?
58
00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:26,834
I took a nap.
Even when you're that young--
59
00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:28,834
Dad!
60
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:31,868
There must be something else.
61
00:02:31,868 --> 00:02:35,634
Well, it was the year
Herb and I started Blush.
62
00:02:35,634 --> 00:02:37,534
Wait a minute. Who's Herb?
63
00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,501
Herb Stanton, my old partner.
64
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:41,701
We worked at the Times together.
65
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:42,868
We were fishing buddies.
66
00:02:42,868 --> 00:02:44,200
So what happened to Herb?
67
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,834
Well, he kind of left
after the first issue.
68
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,234
Kind of how come?
69
00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:51,300
I don't know.
70
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:54,167
I guess we were better friends
than partners,
71
00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:57,000
so it was, uh,
you know, decided
72
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,534
that, uh,
Herb would just move on.
73
00:02:59,534 --> 00:03:01,000
And who decided that?
74
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,767
So many years ago.
75
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,667
Who remembers things like that?
76
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,167
I believe your conscience.
77
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:11,167
That's why you're stuck in 1969,
the year you tossed him aside.
78
00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:14,501
I didn't toss him aside.
I gave him a few grand.
79
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:18,601
And back then, a few grand
was worth several grand.
80
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:21,267
And now you're at the top,
and where's Herb?
81
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,501
Well, he's in my heart.
82
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,601
Dad, you feel guilty
83
00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,968
because you screwed over
your business partner.
84
00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:31,634
I didn't screw over anyone.
85
00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:34,634
Now, leave me alone
so I can start Herbing--
86
00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:36,100
writing. Go away!
87
00:03:48,968 --> 00:03:52,300
You have a lot of
deductions here, Ms. Van Horn.
88
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,400
Thank you.
89
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:58,133
And one
of the write-offs
90
00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,968
is for something
called a "buttock-lift?"
91
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,400
Yes.
92
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,067
And it's listed
under travel expenses.
93
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:08,300
It is further north than it was.
94
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,868
I'd better jump in here.
95
00:04:12,868 --> 00:04:17,667
Ms. Hanson, let me tell you why
I'm proud to be an American.
96
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,667
First of all,
consider the alternatives.
97
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,534
Secondly, I believe
America's a place
98
00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:24,534
where a person
can't be judged
99
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:26,734
by a bunch of numbers
on a form.
100
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,901
And if you think,
for one second,
101
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:31,567
I'm gonna let you intimidate
this poor old woman
102
00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:33,000
with your Gestapo--
103
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,234
oh, yeah, Gestapo--
scare tactics,
104
00:04:34,234 --> 00:04:36,567
then you have obviously
never crossed paths
105
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,534
with Dennis Finch.
106
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,767
Finch. That's F-I-N-C--
107
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,501
No, no! Gotta go!
108
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:45,834
Oh, hello.
109
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:46,868
Uh, Elliott Dimauro,
110
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,934
meet Janet Hanson
from the IRS.
111
00:04:49,934 --> 00:04:52,067
Oh, that's a pretty pin.
112
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:53,734
Oh, thanks.
113
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:55,968
Nina, take a look
at these test shots.
114
00:04:55,968 --> 00:04:58,167
I'm sorry, but this hat
looks ridiculous.
115
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,167
Oh, no, no, it's
totally happening.
116
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,567
It won't be ridiculous
until next month.
117
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:05,167
Well, that's why
you make the big bucks.
118
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:06,334
No, I don't.
119
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:07,334
See ya.
120
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:09,000
Bye.
121
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,067
I should mention that
I donate a lot of money
122
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,801
toward finding
a cure for aging.
123
00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:17,801
Uh, would you just excuse me
for a moment?
124
00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,167
She wants you.
125
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:23,167
Pardon?
126
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,567
The tax lady, she wants you.
127
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:25,567
Go ask her out.
128
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,234
I don't want to ask her out.
129
00:05:27,234 --> 00:05:28,634
I don't even know her.
130
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:29,968
Well, come on, Elliott.
131
00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,000
You sleep with models
132
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,534
without knowing
their last names.
133
00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:34,534
Most of them
don't have last names.
134
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,000
Oh, come on, Elliott,
just take her out to dinner
135
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,033
and woo her a little.
136
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,501
Maybe she'll go easy on me.
137
00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:40,834
That's not going to work.
138
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:43,934
Come on. I'm in
big trouble, Elliott.
139
00:05:43,934 --> 00:05:45,934
Nina, is this
really necessary?
140
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:49,167
Ms. Van Horn,
what is this?
141
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:52,901
Oh, god, I think she's onto
that church I set up.
142
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:05,968
[DOOR PLAYS
"POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
143
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,701
Morning, Sam.
144
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,334
Any good mail today?
145
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:17,601
I'm not Sam.
146
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,667
No, you're sure not.
147
00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:23,968
Been a while, Jack.
148
00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:26,634
Yeah. Sure has.
149
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:30,300
You got rid
of the muttonchops, huh?
150
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,300
How have you been, Herb?
151
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:33,868
Well, great.
152
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:39,167
This is a beautiful
shop you've got.
153
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:40,167
Thanks.
154
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,834
So what brings you here?
155
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,834
Well, you know,
I was in town on business,
156
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:48,067
and I thought
I'd just poke my head in.
157
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,234
You're in Wickston, Connecticut
on business?
158
00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:51,234
That's right.
159
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:54,567
Wickston, population 114?
160
00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:55,834
Sure.
161
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:58,934
Wickston, whose largest employer
is Mrs. Jennings
162
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:00,934
with her round-the-clock nurses?
163
00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:03,200
All right.
164
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,868
All right,
I came here to see you.
165
00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:07,968
Really? Why?
166
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:10,701
Because, Herb...
167
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:14,167
I feel bad about
what happened between us,
168
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,701
about how Blush
went on to become a big success
169
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,167
and how...
170
00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:21,167
you weren't a part of that.
171
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,567
What, are you still
thinking about that?
172
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,133
It was 30 years ago. I'm fine.
173
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:27,133
Really?
174
00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:28,133
Of course.
175
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:30,133
Let me ask you
something, Jack.
176
00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:33,167
What gets you up
out of bed every morning?
177
00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:36,501
I'm 60 years old.
What do you think?
178
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:39,067
With me...
179
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,434
well, after that...
180
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:44,734
I get up because
I love my life.
181
00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:47,400
I make toys
with my own two hands,
182
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,300
toys that bring joy
to little children.
183
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,400
I'm probably the happiest man
in the whole world,
184
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,334
and for that, I thank you.
185
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,400
Wow.
186
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,801
That's fantastic, Herb.
187
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:01,801
I can't tell you
what a relief it is
188
00:08:01,801 --> 00:08:04,501
to know that you
don't hold a grudge.
189
00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:07,567
Oh, please.
Life's too short.
190
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:09,267
You know,
I've got a baby daughter now.
191
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:11,834
You do? You old dog.
192
00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:15,467
And she'd just love
one of your beautiful toys.
193
00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:18,000
I think I've gotta buy
that choo-choo there.
194
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,968
Certainly.
Topnotch choice.
195
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,701
So...
196
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:24,434
what do I owe you?
197
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:27,100
Okay, one choo-choo train.
198
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:29,934
That'll be $12 million.
199
00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:37,634
Excuse me?
200
00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:42,033
$12 million,
you backstabbing son of a bitch!
201
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:44,767
But, Herb, I thought--
202
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,767
Who cares what you thought?
You screwed me, Jack!
203
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:50,100
We were supposed to be a team.
204
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,100
We were gonna conquer the world.
205
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,467
Now I'm a freakin' toy maker!
206
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,267
Herb, calm down.
207
00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:58,501
You calm down!
208
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:01,567
You ruined
the last 30 years of my life,
209
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,300
and nothing you do
can make that better!
210
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,567
But, Herb, I--
211
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:06,834
Nothing!
212
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:10,701
Everyone say hi to
our new managing editor.
213
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,968
I'm not wearing my glasses.
214
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:17,334
Are they happy?
215
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,667
Herb, meet our fashion editor,
Nina Van Horn.
216
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,601
Hi.
Holy smokes.
You're pretty.
217
00:09:32,601 --> 00:09:33,767
Oh.
218
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:35,234
I like him.
219
00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,334
Our assistant, Dennis Finch.
220
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:39,267
"Our" assistant?
221
00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:40,267
That's right, Dennis.
222
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:42,467
Treat Herb
the way you would me.
223
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:44,100
Gotcha.
224
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,567
No, sir, those pants
don't make your butt look big.
225
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,434
And, of course,
my daughter, Maya.
226
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,133
Holy smokes.
You're pretty too.
227
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:57,133
Hi, Herb.
228
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,801
What do you do here?
229
00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,634
Dad made me articles editor.
230
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,167
Oh. I hope
you got that in writing.
231
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:05,033
I'm kidding, of course.
232
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,501
Herb, why don't you
throw your stuff
233
00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:08,367
in my office?
234
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:11,000
Oh, yeah. I want to find
a cool, dry place
235
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,868
for my banana.
236
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,501
Morning.
There you are.
237
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,801
So how was your date
with the IRS lady?
238
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:21,000
Oh, you owe me.
239
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,901
I dropped her off 14 hours ago.
I'm still bored.
240
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:31,067
But you did
sleep with her, right?
241
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,067
Close.
242
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,767
I nodded off during dessert.
243
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,701
Oh, that's
a nice office, Jack.
244
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:41,033
It's twice as big
245
00:10:41,033 --> 00:10:43,834
as the Wickston Museum
of Natural History.
246
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:46,434
Elliott, I'd like you
to meet Herb Stanton,
247
00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:48,100
our new managing editor.
248
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,167
Really?
249
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,400
Elliott Dimauro,
our head photographer.
250
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,367
I, uh--Jack told me about you
on the ride down.
251
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,734
Oh. What did he say?
252
00:10:56,734 --> 00:11:00,868
That--that you were
the head photographer.
253
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,834
So, let's get
this meeting started.
254
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,033
Herb, where would you
like to sit?
255
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,033
Sit? Uh, hmm...
256
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,434
Uh, let's see.
257
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,434
Maybe--no.
258
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,767
How about--uh, well...
259
00:11:09,767 --> 00:11:11,100
How about this one?
260
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,534
Sure. Sure.
261
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,400
Okay. Item one:
262
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,634
new story ideas.
263
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:22,133
I think we should do an expos�
on the big business
264
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:23,467
of illegal fashion knockoffs.
265
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,501
Interesting.
Herb, what do you think?
266
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:29,033
What? Oh, um, uh, um...
267
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:31,367
well, I, uh, um,
268
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:34,234
um...
269
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,901
Should I book you
a flight to Tibet, Herb?
270
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,000
Finch, be nice.
271
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,033
Maybe Herb just wants
272
00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,300
to think it through
a little more.
273
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,234
Yes. More thought. Yes.
274
00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:51,367
Item 2:
275
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:54,033
our next theme issue,
eveningwear or beachwear?
276
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:56,868
Ah. Uh, Herb,
your take on this?
277
00:11:56,868 --> 00:11:58,634
Wh--me?
278
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,534
Uh, uh, why, evening, beach,
279
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,501
be--I think--
I think we should go--
280
00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:06,534
well, on the other hand,
uh, um...
281
00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,234
One or the other, Herb!
There's no wrong answer!
282
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:13,601
Take it easy, buddy.
Take it easy.
283
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,167
Herb, uh,
maybe more thought on that one?
284
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,167
Yes, more thought.
More thought.
285
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,968
Whoa. Um, sorry,
I've gotta go.
286
00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:23,367
They're locking
the pages today,
287
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,567
and I still need a sidebar
288
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,701
for that piece
on the divorce rate.
289
00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:27,701
Hey! Take Herb.
290
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,968
You guys
can pound it out together.
291
00:12:29,968 --> 00:12:31,601
It'll be just
like old times,
292
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,033
except you're
gonna be working with
293
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,567
a prettier Gallo
this time.
294
00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:35,567
Okay with you, Maya?
295
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:36,968
Sure. Sounds fun.
296
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:38,300
Good with you, Herb?
297
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,234
Uh, yeah, w-well,
whatever, uh, if you--
298
00:12:41,234 --> 00:12:42,901
Just go!
299
00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:52,534
So, I've run
the numbers twice,
300
00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:54,367
and, Ms. Van Horn,
you owe us some money.
301
00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:55,367
Listen to me.
302
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,901
I cannot go to jail.
303
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,734
I couldn't bear the humiliation
of how few cigarettes I'm worth.
304
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:07,734
The total comes to $52.28.
305
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:08,801
What?
306
00:13:08,801 --> 00:13:11,267
Look, there are
a lot of red flags
307
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:12,601
I could pursue here,
308
00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:14,601
but, frankly,
I don't have time.
309
00:13:14,601 --> 00:13:16,501
I'm in love.
310
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,567
I'm so happy.
311
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:19,901
I mean, for you.
312
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,601
Oh, Elliott, thank you.
313
00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:25,701
Everything worked out.
314
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,567
Oh. So I'm off the hook
with Janet?
315
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,968
Children,
mommy needs you!
316
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:35,868
Oh, uh, Elliott,
I wanted to tell you
317
00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:38,267
what a great time
I had last night.
318
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,868
Oh, me too.
319
00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:41,133
And I was wondering
320
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:43,167
if you'd like to go away
with me this weekend?
321
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,167
My office confiscated
a ski lodge.
322
00:13:46,968 --> 00:13:48,667
Oh, gosh,
that's very flattering--
323
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,901
I was supposed to go away
with my boyfriend,
324
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,400
but he broke up with me.
325
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,767
Well, that's his loss.
326
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,033
I'll say.
327
00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,734
I froze his assets
and put a lien on his salary.
328
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,601
Teach him to stand me up
on the third date.
329
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,734
Let's hit the slopes!
330
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,000
So, do you think
we should start
331
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,300
by summarizing
the article
332
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,467
or dive right in
to the readers' poll?
333
00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:21,367
Ooh. Uh, summarize or dive,
or summarize
334
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:23,033
or dive--dive or summa--
335
00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:24,367
what time is it?
336
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,501
Uh, 10 after 3:00.
337
00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:28,167
And what time is this due?
338
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,400
5:00.
339
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,100
5:00 today?
340
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,367
Calm down. We'll make it.
341
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:35,367
Uh. Well, that's
what Jack always used to say.
342
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,133
Look, this is no big deal.
343
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:39,300
All we need is
two little paragraphs.
344
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:42,367
Good God, I can't work
with all this chaos.
345
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:44,367
What chaos?
346
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:51,601
Now, ahem, we're just
going to be very still...
347
00:14:51,601 --> 00:14:53,434
and very thoughtful...
348
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,300
and just let this thing come.
349
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,367
Okay, but, um, I--
350
00:14:57,367 --> 00:15:01,200
Shh, shh. Trust me.
351
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,834
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
352
00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:08,901
What time is it now?
353
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:12,400
Um, Herb,
you're wearing a watch.
354
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,634
Uh, no, this is a compass.
355
00:15:14,634 --> 00:15:17,100
I get turned around in fog.
356
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:22,167
Herb, maybe I should
do this alone.
357
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:24,601
But we're a team.
Jack said so.
358
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,234
I know, but maybe...
359
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,834
Look, so I'm having
first-day jitters.
360
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:31,234
There's a lot to get used to--
361
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:34,300
you know, this crazy pace,
362
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,234
the touch-tone phones.
363
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,801
I'm sorry.
364
00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:38,901
Now, listen,
365
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:41,234
we're both going to take
a deep breath...
366
00:15:41,234 --> 00:15:42,234
[DEEP BREATH]
367
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,100
We're gonna put
our heads together,
368
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,033
and we're gonna
bang this baby out.
369
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:47,334
Are you with me?
370
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:49,033
I'm with you.
371
00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:50,033
Good.
372
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,400
Now, what time is it?
373
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,601
Surprise.
374
00:16:01,601 --> 00:16:02,801
Hi.
375
00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:05,667
I was, uh, nearby,
and, uh, how about dinner?
376
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:08,033
Oh, um, I can't.
377
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,167
Oh, why not?
378
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,434
Janet, I have
something to tell you,
379
00:16:11,434 --> 00:16:13,767
and you're not
going to like it.
380
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,434
This is very scary
for me to say,
381
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,434
and please, please
don't be mad.
382
00:16:18,434 --> 00:16:20,067
I can't date you.
383
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:22,534
Oh, God.
384
00:16:22,534 --> 00:16:23,767
You're gay.
385
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,167
No.
386
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,968
I mean, yes.
387
00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:27,968
I knew it.
388
00:16:27,968 --> 00:16:29,067
You knew it?
389
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,834
I mean, there you go.
390
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,501
I'm gay, through and through.
391
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:37,000
In fact, I'm unusually gay,
even my gay friends say so.
392
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,567
Why did you ask me out?
393
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:40,567
Because that's how sexy you are.
394
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,968
You had me all turned around.
395
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:47,300
Elliott,
I appreciate your honesty,
396
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,934
and I can't pretend
I'm not disappointed.
397
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:51,501
Oh, I'm sorry.
398
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:54,133
You are so sweet and cute and--
399
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:57,567
Wait! You would be perfect
for Mitchell.
400
00:16:57,567 --> 00:16:59,734
Mitchell?
Who--who's Mitchell?
401
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:01,000
My boss.
402
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,400
He's director
of the Criminal Fraud Division
403
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,667
for the entire east coast.
404
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,133
Oh. You know, I don't
really think I'm ready--
405
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:07,467
Trust me. You'll love him.
406
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,267
In fact, I won't take
no for an answer.
407
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,667
I'm going to give him
your number.
408
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:11,667
But--
Don't worry.
409
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:12,968
He's perfect for you.
410
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:15,701
And talk about unusually gay.
411
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,300
Oh, man.
412
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:25,834
Talk about getting stuck
by the IRS.
413
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,501
We have to talk.
414
00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:35,834
Maya, I can't believe it,
but I'm still blocked.
415
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:38,601
I've been sitting here for hours
in front of this typewriter,
416
00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,667
and nothing--
it's driving me crazy.
417
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,968
Well, this is not
gonna make your day any better,
418
00:17:42,968 --> 00:17:45,300
and I hate to say it,
because he's so sweet,
419
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,267
but you've got
to get rid of Herb.
420
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,133
No, no, no.
I kicked him out once.
421
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,801
I'm not gonna do it again.
422
00:17:50,801 --> 00:17:54,133
He and I are a team,
a partnership joined at the hip.
423
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,501
Now just take him
to the zoo or something.
424
00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:00,167
Look, I see why you let him go.
425
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:02,267
He is completely wrong
for this kind of work.
426
00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,267
He would have dragged
the whole magazine down.
427
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:06,467
I know.
428
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:09,000
I--I just thought...
429
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
I don't know what I thought.
430
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
Herb.
431
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,000
HERB: I'm working on it!
432
00:18:17,968 --> 00:18:19,300
That's all right, Herb.
433
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,167
Just come into my office.
434
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,167
Poor guy, he's gonna kill me.
435
00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,367
Don't worry.
436
00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:29,567
He'll never be able
to choose a weapon.
437
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,567
Hey, old buddy.
438
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,501
Herb, sit down.
439
00:18:35,434 --> 00:18:36,434
Let's have a chat.
440
00:18:36,434 --> 00:18:37,801
About what?
441
00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:39,968
About...
442
00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:41,200
your assignment.
443
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,167
I have something more important.
444
00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:45,834
We're starting
a Blush charity for children,
445
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,901
and we're gonna need
Christmas presents for them.
446
00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:50,200
I was thinking
choo-choo trains, say 50.
447
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,634
What do you think?
448
00:18:51,634 --> 00:18:53,000
Holy smokes.
449
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,767
I couldn't possibly make
50 trains by Christmas.
450
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:59,234
Hey, I never said
this Christmas.
451
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:01,334
Those kids
have nothing but time.
452
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,367
You head back
to Wickston pronto.
453
00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:06,434
Get on this.
454
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:07,834
It's a top priority.
455
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:10,501
Jack, I know what
you're trying to do.
456
00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:13,100
No, you don't.
No one ever does.
457
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,767
You don't have to pretend.
458
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:16,767
I know it's not working out.
459
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,534
I guess, all these years,
460
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:21,667
uh, it was easier
to be mad at you
461
00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:23,834
than to admit the truth.
462
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:26,601
I stink
at the magazine business.
463
00:19:26,601 --> 00:19:28,300
Oh, no, you don't.
464
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,634
Sure, I do.
465
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:31,634
Between you and me, I'm glad.
466
00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:35,434
I mean, deadlines, fax machines,
467
00:19:35,434 --> 00:19:39,067
that unusually gay
photographer...
468
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,400
Who needs it?
469
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,100
I--I guess what
I'm trying to say
470
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:51,501
is thanks for making me realize
that my life doesn't suck.
471
00:19:51,501 --> 00:19:53,767
I'm just delighted, Herb.
472
00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:56,868
Yeah. Well...
473
00:19:56,868 --> 00:19:58,300
back to Wickston.
474
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,767
You know, Herb,
I was thinking
475
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,734
maybe we could
get together some time.
476
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,300
Wow.
477
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,100
That--that would be great.
478
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,067
Hey, you know what
I'd love to do?
479
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:09,367
Hit the old fishing hole.
480
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:12,567
Yeah, so would I,
but it's a Home Depot now.
481
00:20:12,567 --> 00:20:14,601
No--no problem.
482
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:16,601
We can go to my place.
483
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:19,300
I've got a cabin
up on Lake George,
484
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:22,200
20-foot Boston Whaler,
the whole nine yards.
485
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,534
Son of a bitch.
486
00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:32,234
Week from Saturday?
487
00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:33,567
You're on.
488
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,133
I'll get you a ride. Dennis!
489
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,901
Goodbye, Herb.
490
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:38,300
Goodbye, sweetie.
491
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,567
I'm sorry to leave you
in the lurch on that article.
492
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,901
Dennis, I need you to drive
Herb back to Connecticut.
493
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:46,834
Oh, boy.
494
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,434
Traffic is probably terrible.
495
00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:50,767
Uh, we should take
the Merrit Parkway.
496
00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:52,367
Fine.
497
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,701
Or maybe I-95.
498
00:20:53,701 --> 00:20:54,701
Uh-oh.
499
00:20:54,701 --> 00:20:55,701
Let me think.
500
00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:57,534
If we take the, uh--
501
00:20:57,534 --> 00:20:58,634
Think about this:
502
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,400
you wanna ride in
the front seat or the trunk?
503
00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:05,868
Merrit Parkway.
504
00:21:10,334 --> 00:21:11,400
You're okay?
505
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,501
Huh?
506
00:21:13,501 --> 00:21:15,367
Nothing.
507
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:35,534
* Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you *
508
00:21:35,534 --> 00:21:40,033
* Keeps bringin' me home *
509
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:43,033
* It don't matter
What I'm gonna do *
510
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:48,033
* 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own *
511
00:21:48,033 --> 00:21:50,033
* Whoa *
512
00:21:50,033 --> 00:21:53,033
* Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you *
513
00:21:53,033 --> 00:21:54,901
* Yeah **
514
00:21:55,901 --> 00:22:05,901
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