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1
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:06,367
Yup.
2
00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:07,400
Yes.
3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,968
Yup.
4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,868
Definitely.
5
00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,734
Yup.
6
00:00:13,734 --> 00:00:16,200
That is
affirmative.
7
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,467
Finch,
the copier's broken again.
8
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:20,033
Maybe that black cloud
over your head
9
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:21,100
shorted it out.
10
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,868
Yes!
11
00:00:22,868 --> 00:00:23,934
Yup.
12
00:00:23,934 --> 00:00:25,467
What are you guys
doing?
13
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:26,701
We're deciding
which of these women
14
00:00:26,701 --> 00:00:28,434
we'd like
to sleep with.
15
00:00:28,434 --> 00:00:29,734
Really?
16
00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:31,033
I thought we were saying
17
00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:32,567
which women
we'd already slept with.
18
00:00:36,901 --> 00:00:38,400
I don't want
to play anymore.
19
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,868
[***]
20
00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,968
Hey. Look what I just got.
21
00:01:01,968 --> 00:01:03,734
MAYA: Oh, no,
not another gadget.
22
00:01:03,734 --> 00:01:05,300
It's a laser pointer.
23
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,167
Now if I need
to indicate something,
24
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,567
I just point at it like this.
25
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:13,634
Wow! It's just like a finger,
only $200 more.
26
00:01:13,634 --> 00:01:14,968
Yeah.
27
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:18,133
Hello, all. Guess what today is.
28
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:19,400
Uh...
29
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,868
wear-your-underwear
on-the-outside day.
30
00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:25,534
Oh, look who had cereal
with sugar.
31
00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,334
Today is my birthday.
32
00:01:27,334 --> 00:01:29,167
Oh, well, oh. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
33
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:30,834
Thank you, thank you,
and before I forget,
34
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:32,200
I have to leave early tonight.
35
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,000
Marvin's taking me
out to the theater
36
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,634
and then dancing
at the Rainbow Room.
37
00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:37,434
Wow. Marvin's still around?
38
00:01:37,434 --> 00:01:39,534
Yeah. We've been together
almost six months.
39
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:40,834
No, I mean,
he's still breathing?
40
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,133
How old is that guy?
41
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,501
300 million.
42
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:46,400
Oh, sorry, that's his net worth.
43
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,601
I always get them confused.
44
00:01:48,601 --> 00:01:51,400
Hey, look, if you want to go out
with a man in his 60s--
45
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,834
Watch it.
46
00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:54,968
Then there's no sexier man
than this guy right here.
47
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,534
Sorry, ladies. He's taken.
48
00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,801
All right, people,
let's get started.
49
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,133
Who's got story ideas...
50
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:06,167
besides "Topless Women
of the Riviera"?
51
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,467
I've got some.
52
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:09,968
Okay, the young lady
53
00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,534
with the red dot
on her blouse.
54
00:02:11,534 --> 00:02:13,167
What about how men in power
55
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,801
have used fashion
to subjugate women?
56
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:15,968
Do you know
57
00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:17,968
that Louis XIV invented
the high-heel shoe
58
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:20,634
so that...
59
00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:22,300
What are you doing?
60
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,434
I'm miming our readers
61
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,534
hanging themselves
out of boredom.
62
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:28,067
You know, let's ask someone
63
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,100
who has more than
a five-second attention span.
64
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,167
Elliott, what did you think?
65
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,300
Huh?
66
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,434
Maya, I think what the gang
is trying to say
67
00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,033
is that if you were
a musical instrument,
68
00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:41,601
you'd be the snooze-o-lin.
69
00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:43,200
Yeah!
70
00:02:44,501 --> 00:02:47,667
Any takers? Guess not.
71
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,234
Okay. What else you got?
72
00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:52,501
Okay, here. This is great.
73
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:54,000
To commemorate
the 40th anniversary
74
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,167
of Jack Kerouac's publication
of On the Road,
75
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,601
I thought we could
trace the impact
76
00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:59,501
of the beat movement
on modern fashions...
77
00:02:59,501 --> 00:03:00,868
What?
78
00:03:00,868 --> 00:03:01,934
Oh, now I'm so bored,
79
00:03:01,934 --> 00:03:04,267
I'm electrocuting
myself.
80
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,667
Flowers for Nina Van Horn.
81
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:11,133
Oh, that's me.
Thank you.
82
00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:12,400
Oh, I'll bet
they're from Marvin.
83
00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:16,501
Oh, no.
84
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:18,100
He has to close a deal
in London
85
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,133
and he won't be home
until eleven.
86
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,267
This is terrible.
87
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,868
What am I going to do
until then?
88
00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,267
Well, you could hop
on your broomstick
89
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:26,701
and meet him halfway.
90
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,133
Wow.
91
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,334
Kind of chilly.
92
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,434
What? That was funny.
93
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,701
She started it.
94
00:03:33,701 --> 00:03:36,167
Okay, then. Meeting's over.
95
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,467
Uh, Maya,
can I see you in my office?
96
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,934
Ooh...
97
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:46,534
Maya...
98
00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:48,234
this thing
between you and Nina,
99
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:49,367
it's got to stop.
100
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:50,968
Hey,
she is the one attacking me,
101
00:03:50,968 --> 00:03:52,567
and it's been like this
since day one.
102
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:53,968
That's Nina.
I expect more from you.
103
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,167
Yeah, but did you see how--
104
00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:57,267
Let me tell you
a little story.
105
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:58,467
When I was
at the Times,
106
00:03:58,467 --> 00:03:59,567
there was this jerk
107
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:01,701
who hated me
for no reason at all.
108
00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,033
No, wait.
109
00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:04,767
I may have slept
with his girlfriend.
110
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,701
Anyway,
111
00:04:07,701 --> 00:04:09,901
he used to take potshots at me
at the editorial meetings.
112
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:10,901
Did I fire back?
113
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:12,334
No, you charmed him
onto your side.
114
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,634
Right,
115
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:16,634
and soon he became
my biggest supporter.
116
00:04:16,634 --> 00:04:17,868
He even lent me
five grand
117
00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:19,734
to start
this magazine.
118
00:04:19,734 --> 00:04:22,667
And the very day
I was supposed to pay him back,
119
00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:24,133
you know what happened?
120
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,434
He dropped dead.
121
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,434
Pure profit, Maya.
122
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,567
That's a beautiful story.
123
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:33,667
My point is,
124
00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:34,701
you need to be
diplomatic.
125
00:04:34,701 --> 00:04:36,367
You have a tendency
to lash out
126
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:37,567
at the slightest
hint of criticism.
127
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:38,667
Ha!
128
00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:39,868
Oh, you are so full of--
129
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,934
wisdom.
130
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:45,100
Go on.
131
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,868
Maya, you're
so talented,
132
00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:49,167
and yet you've
been fired
133
00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,300
from every job
you've ever had.
134
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,400
Why? Your temper.
135
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,634
Well, I guess
I have a lot of anger.
136
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,100
Maybe it's from my childhood.
137
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,334
Don't blame me.
138
00:04:58,334 --> 00:04:59,501
Your mother raised you.
139
00:04:59,501 --> 00:05:01,801
Look,
140
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,367
just be nice
to Nina.
141
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:04,634
Win her over.
142
00:05:04,634 --> 00:05:06,734
Use some of that
old Gallo charm.
143
00:05:08,968 --> 00:05:10,434
Okay. Fine.
144
00:05:10,434 --> 00:05:11,634
Great.
145
00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:12,734
You can start
146
00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:13,968
by throwing her
a birthday party.
147
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:15,000
Oh. Big step.
148
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,033
Can't I just start
by throwing her
149
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,501
from a train, out of a building,
150
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:19,868
something of that sort?
151
00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:21,467
Maya, this is important.
152
00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:22,934
You have
all the editorial skills
153
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:24,801
to run this magazine.
154
00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:27,801
You just need the people skills.
155
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:30,934
Okay, okay.
156
00:05:30,934 --> 00:05:32,968
I'll throw her a party.
157
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:34,200
I'll even
be charming.
158
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,634
Attagirl.
159
00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:39,834
People skills.
160
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,901
That's what
it's all about.
161
00:05:41,901 --> 00:05:44,734
Ha! Look at that
hot dog vendor.
162
00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:46,467
He keeps swatting
at nothing.
163
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,067
[BOTH LAUGHING]
164
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:56,367
[STAMPING]
165
00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:01,133
Yup.
166
00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,133
All right, I get it.
167
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:06,334
Look, we all know
168
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:07,534
the only reason
you get girls
169
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,033
is because you're
a big photographer.
170
00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:10,234
Oh, yeah,
171
00:06:10,234 --> 00:06:12,868
if that helps you
sleep at night.
172
00:06:12,868 --> 00:06:13,934
Then what is it?
173
00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:15,000
Your uncanny
resemblance
174
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,367
to an aging
Charlie Brown?
175
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:19,300
Believe me,
176
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:20,901
I don't need this job
to get women.
177
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,200
Would you care
to make
178
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,300
a little wager
on that, Chuck?
179
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,601
Oh. You don't
want to go there.
180
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:27,834
Here's the deal.
181
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,234
I pick a new career
for you,
182
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,534
I pick the woman.
183
00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:31,901
I got 1,000 bucks
184
00:06:31,901 --> 00:06:33,767
that says you end up
solo pilot
185
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:37,133
on a one-way flight
to Spankytown.
186
00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:40,501
You're on.
187
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,400
You know,
I'm gonna love this.
188
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,334
I get a date
and all your money.
189
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,734
Everybody wins.
190
00:06:45,734 --> 00:06:47,300
I mean, except you.
191
00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:52,133
Hi, Nina.
192
00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:53,534
Oh, you caught me.
193
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:54,934
I was just about
to indulge myself
194
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:56,033
with a little
ice cream
195
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:57,801
on my birthday.
196
00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:03,234
Oh. So good.
197
00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:06,067
Next year,
chocolate.
198
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,400
Listen, if it's
okay with you,
199
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,400
I would really love
200
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,601
to throw you
a birthday party.
201
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:14,067
Really?
202
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,968
Well, that might kill some time
until Marvin's jet arrives.
203
00:07:16,968 --> 00:07:19,300
Um, I was thinking
Hanrahan's might be fun.
204
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,467
Oh, uh-huh.
205
00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:24,133
Kind of like the way
pinkeye might be fun.
206
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:26,968
Or we could go to the Boxcar.
207
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,467
Oh, that place
that all the hobos live in?
208
00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:32,534
Or I could give it
a little more thought.
209
00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:34,634
Or any thought.
210
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:35,934
Okay, well,
211
00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:36,968
I'll see you
tonight, then.
212
00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:38,701
Oh, you're going to be there?
213
00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:40,501
I thought you had
a pottery class tonight.
214
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,968
Uh, I don't take pottery.
215
00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:43,234
Really? Huh.
216
00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:45,667
I just assumed from your nails.
217
00:07:51,033 --> 00:07:52,701
NINA: Hi.
218
00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:54,367
Hi.
219
00:07:54,367 --> 00:07:57,868
Oh, welcome,
my dear, dear friends.
220
00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,467
Though your names elude me,
221
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,367
your presence
is no less important.
222
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:09,968
Aha. Good.
You're here.
223
00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:11,367
Well, I hope
you got your money,
224
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,033
because I got
the honey.
225
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:17,534
Are you sure you can
afford to lose
226
00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:18,868
this kind of cash?
227
00:08:18,868 --> 00:08:19,934
Because 1000 bucks
228
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,534
could get you a lot
of horsey rides
229
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,801
outside
the drug store.
230
00:08:23,801 --> 00:08:24,934
That's tough talk,
231
00:08:24,934 --> 00:08:26,801
coming from a guy
in your position.
232
00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:28,567
Oh, yeah?
What do you mean?
233
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,601
I mean, for the rest
of the night,
234
00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:31,634
you, my friend,
235
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:34,701
are the shampoo boy
at Supercuts.
236
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:37,234
"Shampoo boys
do it once,
237
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:40,334
then repeat."
238
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:41,367
Ouch.
239
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:44,834
You're going down.
240
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:47,834
Aah!
241
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,300
Ooh.
242
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,367
[RINGING]
243
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,400
Hello?
244
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,000
Hey, Wally. You beeped.
245
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,300
Yeah. Stacy called
and canceled our date.
246
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,367
She said she wants
to see another guy.
247
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,767
Oh, I'm sorry. Who?
248
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,634
Oh, she hasn't decided yet.
249
00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:08,033
Listen,
I'm just gonna have one drink
250
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:09,434
and get the hell out of here.
251
00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:12,067
Do you want to go out later,
have some beers, play some pool?
252
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,534
Yeah, yeah. Sounds great.
253
00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:14,834
Where are you?
254
00:09:14,834 --> 00:09:16,067
El Mariachi.
255
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:18,067
My father made me
throw Nina Van Horn a party.
256
00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:21,434
Nina Van Horn? The supermodel?
257
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:23,901
That's the Nina
you've been bitching about?
258
00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:24,901
Oh, God.
259
00:09:24,901 --> 00:09:26,400
In junior high,
260
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,901
I stared at her swimsuit poster
every night.
261
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,267
Sometimes twice a night.
262
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,400
Hi.
263
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,701
Hi.
264
00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:42,067
Can I buy you
a drink?
265
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,434
I already have one.
266
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:46,601
Can I have a sip?
267
00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:49,801
Maybe
after I've gone.
268
00:09:49,801 --> 00:09:51,033
If you don't
mind me saying,
269
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:53,734
I think you have
beautiful hair...
270
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:55,033
Thanks.
271
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,801
and believe me,
in my line of work,
272
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:59,868
I see a lot
of beautiful women.
273
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:02,434
Hey, Mac.
I couldn't help but overhear.
274
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,434
I'd love to work
with a lot of beautiful women.
275
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:07,067
What do you do, sir,
and where do you do it?
276
00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:11,801
I'm the shampoo boy
at Supercuts.
277
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,334
Ooh.
278
00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:15,567
No way!
279
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:16,634
This is so weird!
280
00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:17,767
I'm a hair sweeper
281
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:21,167
at Clipper
Doodle-Doo's!
282
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:24,868
No way.
No way.
283
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:27,033
Hey, there's this
little party here,
284
00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,200
and I'm...
you know,
285
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,467
why don't you join us?
286
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:31,467
And then afterwards,
I would just...
287
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:32,601
I would just...
288
00:10:32,601 --> 00:10:34,667
love to wash
your hair.
289
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:38,534
Okay, but one
condition...
290
00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:41,367
Get it?
291
00:10:44,634 --> 00:10:45,767
Oh! We'll
get that later.
292
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:46,834
Will you pick
that up, sir?
293
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:52,067
Ah, the birthday girl.
294
00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:54,467
Oh, Jack.
295
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,000
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
296
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,667
Anyway, let's celebrate.
297
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,300
Oh, Nina,
298
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,133
you sit over here
299
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,534
by Maya.
300
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,734
Okay. Everyone have a glass?
301
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,234
I want to make a toast.
302
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:12,868
Excuse me, everybody,
303
00:11:12,868 --> 00:11:14,667
the man said
he'd like to make a toast,
304
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,767
so shut your little pieholes
and listen up.
305
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,868
Go ahead, Jack.
306
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,834
Thank you.
307
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,133
Uh, first of all,
308
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:24,734
I'd like to wish Nina
a happy birthday.
309
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,400
Nina, over the years,
310
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,534
I've come to love you
311
00:11:27,534 --> 00:11:29,501
like a wife
who never divorced me.
312
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:30,901
[FINCH LAUGHS]
313
00:11:30,901 --> 00:11:32,868
Yeah, a good one.
314
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,834
I'd also like to say
to all of you
315
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:40,834
how much I cherish
occasions like these
316
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,400
where I get
to celebrate
317
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,334
your personal
milestones
318
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:46,934
and spend some time
with my second family.
319
00:11:48,901 --> 00:11:51,567
I wouldn't trade these moments
for the world.
320
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,701
Oh, Jack...
321
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:58,501
Okay. Got to go.
322
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,801
Okay.
See you later.
323
00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:03,133
FINCH:
See you, Nina.
324
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:05,868
KIRSTEN:
Nice meeting you.
You too.
325
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,467
Well...
326
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:14,567
looks like it's
just us prairie dogs.
327
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,601
Woof!
328
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,901
[MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING]
329
00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:32,467
* Now wa-a-a-a-ait a minute *
330
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,834
* You know
You've been so good to me *
331
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,167
* I said
You've been so good to me *
332
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,133
* You know you make me wanna *
333
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,601
What are you doing?
334
00:12:51,601 --> 00:12:52,801
That's your cue.
335
00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:55,734
* You know you make me wanna *
336
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,267
Not gonna happen.
337
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:59,234
Oh, Maya,
it's my birthday.
338
00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:01,901
Now, come on up here
and help me sing.
339
00:13:01,901 --> 00:13:05,200
As I mentioned
during "Ebony and Ivory,"
340
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,334
I'd really rather not.
341
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:07,734
Oh, come on.
342
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:08,734
If you sing with me,
343
00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:10,467
then tomorrow I'll say yes
344
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:13,133
to all your silly,
little story ideas.
345
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:14,501
Hit it.
346
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:16,901
* You know you
Make me want to *
* Shout *
347
00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:18,901
* Throw your
Hands up and *
* Shout *
348
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:20,901
* Kick your
Legs out and *
* Shout *
349
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,901
* A little bit
Softer now *
* Shout *
350
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:24,300
* A little bit
Softer now *
351
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,300
* Hey, hey,
hey, hey *
* Hey, hey... *
352
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,801
Hey, hey, where
are you going?
353
00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:30,400
God, who do you have to kill
to get a drink around here?
354
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,601
I have an idea.
355
00:13:34,734 --> 00:13:35,734
Oh.
356
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,634
[RINGS]
357
00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:47,234
Hello,
and welcome to WallyPhone.
358
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:49,634
If you're Maya
and you have a good excuse
359
00:13:49,634 --> 00:13:50,634
for blowing me off,
360
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:51,667
press 1.
361
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,734
If you have no excuse at all,
press 2.
362
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,467
Wally, I'm sorry.
363
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,734
For a list of excuses
available in your area,
364
00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,033
press 3.
365
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:03,434
Wally, please forgive me.
366
00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:06,467
You have selected
"begging for mercy."
367
00:14:06,467 --> 00:14:08,200
Wally, please don't hate me.
368
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,701
I have just had
the worst night of my life.
369
00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,234
I tried to be nice to Nina,
370
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:13,634
but it is impossible
to like her.
371
00:14:13,634 --> 00:14:14,968
There is nothing
to like.
372
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:16,834
Hmm. You're still here.
373
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:18,467
Marvin
just beeped me.
374
00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:19,601
Yay.
375
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:20,901
I swear.
376
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,701
I swear I will
make this up to you.
377
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:23,901
Oh, don'tworry about it.
378
00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:25,868
You're the second girl
to dump me today,
379
00:14:25,868 --> 00:14:28,000
but the record
still stands at four.
380
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,334
I'm going to sleep.
381
00:14:29,334 --> 00:14:30,400
Don't go to sleep.
382
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,601
I promised
I'd cheer you up,
383
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:32,601
and I will.
384
00:14:32,601 --> 00:14:34,834
Hi, Marvin.
It's me.
385
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,133
Oh, I am not
386
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,567
the most beautiful woman
in the world.
387
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,901
Oh, yeah.
388
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:41,968
I know, honey,
389
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,567
and I can't wait to see you,
either.
390
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:46,067
Mm-hmm. Until then. Bye-bye.
391
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,901
Wally, got to go.
392
00:14:47,901 --> 00:14:50,801
Uh, is everything
okay with Marvin?
393
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,167
Shame on you for eavesdropping,
394
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,834
but, yes,
everything is wonderful.
395
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,133
Are you sure there's nothing
you want to talk about?
396
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,467
Why? Why...
397
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,767
Why would there be
anything to talk about?
398
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,267
Because that phone's
out of order.
399
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:05,267
Um...
400
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:06,634
no, it isn't.
401
00:15:06,634 --> 00:15:08,801
Look.
402
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:11,467
I used that phone.
You used this phone.
403
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:14,934
Whoa, no more tequila for you.
404
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,334
Nina, what's going on?
405
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,267
If you must know,
406
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:24,133
Marvin and I broke up
two weeks ago.
407
00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:25,133
Happy?
408
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,400
Oh...
409
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,000
I'm sorry.
410
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,167
Actually,
411
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:33,334
he traded me in
for a newer model.
412
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:34,834
Literally.
413
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,534
She's 22.
414
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:37,534
You know, so what?
415
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,367
Nina, you're still young.
416
00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:41,567
Oh, yeah. Maybe for a senator.
417
00:15:43,868 --> 00:15:45,667
A model's over the hill at 28,
418
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,534
so what does that make me?
419
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:48,734
A legend?
420
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:51,100
No. No.
421
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,133
Invisible.
422
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:54,934
20 years ago,
423
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:57,367
I couldn't walk
into a restaurant
424
00:15:57,367 --> 00:16:01,100
without every man in the room
wanting me,
425
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,334
but now...
426
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:03,934
the only way
I can get a reaction
427
00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:08,033
is by dressing
like an extra from Shogun.
428
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,634
Nina, I think I know
what you're going through--
429
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,701
No, no.
430
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:13,400
No, no, you don't.
431
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,634
You have no idea
how lucky you are.
432
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:20,734
God, you're so full
of passion and ideas.
433
00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:24,267
Your best days are
still ahead of you.
434
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:27,501
You want to see my best days,
435
00:16:27,501 --> 00:16:30,767
go dig up a 20-year-old Cosmo.
436
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:32,701
Listen,
you've been, uh...
437
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:36,334
you've been really,
really nice tonight,
438
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:39,434
and you don't have
to stick around anymore.
439
00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:41,968
You know,
440
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,634
I was just gonna go
rent an old movie.
441
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:47,567
Uh, not old. New. New.
A new movie.
442
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:49,534
You want to come with me?
443
00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:51,234
Sure. I'd...
444
00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:54,100
I'd really like
to watch a movie with you.
445
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,734
Wait, um...
446
00:16:57,734 --> 00:16:59,267
now that
we're friends,
447
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:01,501
just let me go in
and erase your name
448
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:03,567
from the men's
room wall.
449
00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:08,834
Whoa, back up.
450
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:10,701
You lived with
Andy Warhol?
451
00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:11,934
Well...
452
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:13,200
Not exactly
with him.
453
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,300
I spent three days
454
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,734
chained
to his radiator.
455
00:17:16,734 --> 00:17:18,634
Performance art,
my foot.
456
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:20,067
Anyway,
457
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:23,434
let's talk about you
for a change.
458
00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:28,100
I want you to tell me something
you've never told anyone before.
459
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,267
Your deepest secret.
460
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:31,634
Well,
461
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,834
ever since I was 3,
I wanted to be a Rockette,
462
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:36,734
but I was never tall enough,
463
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,000
so I used to--
464
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,834
and this is funny--
465
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:42,567
I used to try and stretch myself
466
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:45,734
and attach encyclopedias
to my feet and then...
467
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:48,000
and hang
from this curtain rod...
468
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,334
[SNORING]
469
00:18:12,701 --> 00:18:14,033
Maya...
470
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:15,033
Maya, Maya.
471
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:16,834
Um, Wally,
I know. I know.
472
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,367
Thank you so much
for last night.
473
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,667
Okay, I get it.
I'm sorry.
474
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,000
I'm a terrible person.
475
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,267
Are you kidding?
476
00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:24,868
That was
the nicest thing
477
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:26,834
anybody has ever
done for me.
478
00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:28,501
What are you
talking about?
479
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:29,801
God, I'm so hungry
480
00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:32,767
I could eat an
entire sandwich.
481
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:35,033
Hi, Maya.
482
00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:37,467
Nina!
483
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:40,267
Did you and she...
484
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:45,901
Yeah, and it's so much better
when she's there in person.
485
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:49,334
You owe me
1000 bucks.
486
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,734
Because you picked up
a hair sweeper
487
00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:51,868
on a complete fluke?
488
00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:52,868
Forget it.
489
00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:55,534
Hey, you chose her. Now, pay up.
490
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,601
Listen...
491
00:18:58,601 --> 00:19:00,734
this isn't easy for me to say.
492
00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:02,901
I like to keep
my personal life private,
493
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:05,634
but, uh... I can't pay you.
494
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:06,801
I'm broke
495
00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:08,467
because I have to care
for an aging parent.
496
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:12,400
No, you don't.
497
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,167
Okay, I live
in a really cool apartment.
498
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,267
Look, since
you're a friend,
499
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:19,934
I think we can
work something out.
500
00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:21,133
That is,
501
00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:23,133
if you're willing
to humiliate yourself.
502
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,501
I work here, don't I?
503
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,167
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
504
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,367
What...
505
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,734
Wait a second,
506
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,067
how about double or nothing?
507
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:31,934
Any time, any place.
508
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:32,934
Right now.
509
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:34,734
That tall, cool drink of water
510
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:36,901
that just walked in.
511
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:37,901
Okay.
512
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,367
What's
my occupation?
513
00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:41,400
You are...
514
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,501
the President
of the United States.
515
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:44,701
Come on,
516
00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:46,133
that's just gonna
make me sound crazy.
517
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,133
Gee. You think?
518
00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:50,167
Hi, excuse me.
519
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:51,601
I was standing over there,
520
00:19:51,601 --> 00:19:53,601
and I couldn't help but notice
how beautiful you are.
521
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:54,734
Tell her
what you do.
522
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:57,601
Tell her what
you do.
523
00:19:57,601 --> 00:20:00,601
I'm the President
of the United States.
524
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:03,501
Anglais,
little speak.
525
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:05,234
No...
526
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:06,801
Caf�?
527
00:20:06,801 --> 00:20:09,501
Oh, caf�. Oui.
528
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:10,934
Heh heh heh heh.
529
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:23,267
Where the hell is Nina?
530
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:24,467
She left me a voice mail
531
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:26,067
that she had to go
to the dentist,
532
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,667
so we should give her
a few minutes.
533
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:28,734
Hey, Jack,
534
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,133
can I play with
your laser pointer?
535
00:20:30,133 --> 00:20:32,801
Can't. I traded it in
for this hi-tech whistle
536
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,734
that only birds can hear.
537
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,434
[HISSING]
538
00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:38,734
I don't know.
539
00:20:38,734 --> 00:20:40,567
I guess
I'm just a sucker for nature.
540
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:41,567
[LOUD THUMP]
541
00:20:46,968 --> 00:20:49,000
All right.
Let's start without her.
542
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,634
Elliott, what is the status--
543
00:20:50,634 --> 00:20:51,701
Good morning.
544
00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:52,868
Uh, don't worry,
545
00:20:52,868 --> 00:20:54,334
I told them about
the dentist.
546
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:55,868
Huh! What dentist?
547
00:20:55,868 --> 00:20:58,634
I was having sex with a man
practically half my age,
548
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,667
and you know
who I have to thank?
549
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:02,701
The man who invented
chloroform?
550
00:21:02,701 --> 00:21:04,901
No. Maya.
551
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:11,133
I said "people skills,"
not "pimping skills..."
552
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:15,834
but if everybody's
happy...
553
00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:17,601
Hey, before we get started,
554
00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:19,400
I just want to thank everyone
555
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,267
for helping me
celebrate my birthday,
556
00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:22,334
especially Maya.
557
00:21:23,634 --> 00:21:26,434
I'll never forget it.
558
00:21:26,434 --> 00:21:27,634
Very nice.
559
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:28,901
Who wants to lead off?
560
00:21:28,901 --> 00:21:29,901
I will.
561
00:21:29,901 --> 00:21:32,000
I'd like to repitch my idea
562
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,634
about how men throughout history
563
00:21:33,634 --> 00:21:35,567
have used fashion
to subjugate women.
564
00:21:36,767 --> 00:21:38,601
See? Nina loves it.
565
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,400
Here you are, sir.
566
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,133
Nice, hot coffee,
567
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:47,334
and to go with it,
a special treat.
568
00:21:47,334 --> 00:21:48,534
I am
569
00:21:48,534 --> 00:21:50,200
your sweet-loving
lap daddy,
570
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,501
and I do
as I am told.
571
00:22:04,434 --> 00:22:06,534
[***]
572
00:22:09,467 --> 00:22:13,567
* Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you *
573
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:17,033
* Keeps bringin' me home *
574
00:22:17,033 --> 00:22:20,601
* It don't matter
What I want to do *
575
00:22:20,601 --> 00:22:25,100
* 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own *
576
00:22:27,534 --> 00:22:30,968
* Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you **
37343
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