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00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,645
Welcome to Camp Blue Finch,
2
00:00:47,613 --> 00:00:50,814
where romance in the sun
can turn deadly!
3
00:00:52,616 --> 00:00:55,049
Best summer ever!
4
00:00:57,285 --> 00:00:59,619
This is the summer that's
going to change your life.
5
00:00:59,621 --> 00:01:00,686
Where the days are warm...
6
00:01:00,688 --> 00:01:03,088
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.
7
00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:05,256
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.
8
00:01:05,258 --> 00:01:07,558
...the girls are cool...
9
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,259
Did I miss the Kumbaya circle?
10
00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:12,262
...the nights are always hot.
11
00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:14,230
And evil lurks
around every corner.
12
00:01:14,232 --> 00:01:17,132
Gosh, you startled me.
13
00:01:17,134 --> 00:01:18,800
So, I just go down
that path all the way?
14
00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:21,469
A guy like you can go
anywhere he wants.
15
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:26,139
- And any moment,
- Billy can strike.
16
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,679
They won't be singing Kumbaya.
17
00:01:39,115 --> 00:01:42,282
They'll be screaming Kum Ba No!
18
00:01:43,717 --> 00:01:46,251
Pack your bags
for Camp Bloodbath...
19
00:01:46,253 --> 00:01:48,519
You just messed
with the wrong virgin.
20
00:01:48,521 --> 00:01:49,887
...where the
only marshmallow
21
00:01:49,889 --> 00:01:52,756
that will roast is your sanity.
22
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:43,604
Well, they'll let me know.
23
00:02:43,606 --> 00:02:46,273
You know you're too good
for this crap, right?
24
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:48,942
The casting director was all like,
"I know you from somewhere."
25
00:02:48,944 --> 00:02:51,044
And I went, "Really?
Oh, it's probably
26
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,146
"my arc on CSI as
a bipolar mistress."
27
00:02:53,148 --> 00:02:56,628
And he's like, "No, I got it.
Camp Bloodbath."
28
00:02:56,818 --> 00:02:58,450
Am I ever going to
live that movie down?
29
00:02:58,452 --> 00:03:01,252
I mean, it was 20 years ago.
30
00:03:01,254 --> 00:03:02,353
Honestly, if you
ever become an actor,
31
00:03:02,355 --> 00:03:04,254
don't ever do a slasher flick.
32
00:03:04,256 --> 00:03:06,856
You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie.
You're the actress here.
33
00:03:06,858 --> 00:03:08,290
Damn straight.
34
00:03:08,292 --> 00:03:11,626
And I'm no actress.
I'm a movie star.
35
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,770
Mel's?
36
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,599
Mel's.
37
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,367
Let's rock and roll.
38
00:03:27,971 --> 00:03:29,905
So, we owe the electric company
39
00:03:29,907 --> 00:03:31,973
$174.88 by next Monday...
40
00:03:31,975 --> 00:03:34,976
You remember Frank?
41
00:03:34,978 --> 00:03:36,077
He told me he was
going to take me
42
00:03:36,079 --> 00:03:37,778
to Palm Springs this weekend.
43
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:38,945
No message.
No text.
44
00:03:38,947 --> 00:03:40,446
No surprise.
45
00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:42,781
You know, it's just
he said we were exclusive.
46
00:03:42,783 --> 00:03:44,703
Well, he said it,
he doesn't act like it.
47
00:03:46,752 --> 00:03:48,192
Whatever.
What do I know?
48
00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:52,121
You must think
I'm a total zero.
49
00:03:52,123 --> 00:03:53,489
Screw him, Mom.
50
00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:55,624
And screw his shady
hotel in Palm Springs.
51
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,258
Oh, my God.
52
00:03:58,426 --> 00:04:00,626
Look at you taking care of me.
53
00:04:01,562 --> 00:04:02,862
What happened to
that little girl
54
00:04:02,864 --> 00:04:04,096
I used to dance with
in the backyard?
55
00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:05,864
She grew up and is
trying to figure out
56
00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:07,932
where this $174
is gonna come from.
57
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:14,938
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
58
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,139
Our song!
59
00:04:18,075 --> 00:04:19,875
Mom. We need to
figure this out.
60
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,482
You're such a dork.
61
00:04:35,186 --> 00:04:37,586
Everything in my
life, I got wrong.
62
00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,555
But you, I got you right.
63
00:04:40,557 --> 00:04:43,624
I love you.
You know that, right?
64
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,530
What?
65
00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,030
Nothing.
66
00:04:52,964 --> 00:04:55,031
Nothing.
67
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,985
Max, those are
really expensive...
68
00:06:32,587 --> 00:06:34,320
Gertie's here.
69
00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:38,656
Coming, Aunt Pearl.
70
00:06:44,828 --> 00:06:48,530
So, when Chris asked you to study,
was he like,
71
00:06:48,532 --> 00:06:50,265
"I want you to come study"?
72
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:53,634
Or was he like,
"I want you to come.
73
00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:56,902
"Study."
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00:06:56,904 --> 00:06:59,337
Please. I'm only going,
so I don't flunk Classics.
75
00:06:59,339 --> 00:07:01,172
Come on, you know that he
broke up with Vicki last week, right?
76
00:07:01,174 --> 00:07:03,274
And she is a mess.
77
00:07:03,276 --> 00:07:05,476
Have you seen the veiled
suicide note/poem
78
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:07,578
she posted on her Facebook page?
79
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:10,180
It's so hilarious.
80
00:07:10,182 --> 00:07:11,915
I read it out loud to myself.
81
00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:12,917
A lot.
82
00:07:15,218 --> 00:07:16,351
Hmm.
83
00:07:18,554 --> 00:07:21,389
Hey, just keep on keeping on.
84
00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:22,957
What does that even mean?
85
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:25,359
Something my therapist
tells me all the time.
86
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,427
You have a therapist?
Mmm-hmm.
87
00:07:27,429 --> 00:07:29,262
Does that help you deal?
88
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,530
Mmm. No, not really.
89
00:07:31,532 --> 00:07:34,165
She's a physical
therapist, so...
90
00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:36,966
Okay. So, the
myth of Persephone.
91
00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:37,933
Max, you want to take this one?
92
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,935
Sure.
93
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,202
She's the daughter of Zeus
94
00:07:41,204 --> 00:07:43,971
and she eats pomegranate seeds,
95
00:07:43,973 --> 00:07:46,940
and then Hades kidnaps her
to the underworld.
96
00:07:46,942 --> 00:07:48,274
Yeah. Okay, good.
97
00:07:48,276 --> 00:07:49,441
So, they go back
to the underworld
98
00:07:49,443 --> 00:07:50,842
and Persephone is freaking out,
99
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:52,176
and Hermes is like,
"It's okay, it's okay.
100
00:07:52,178 --> 00:07:53,377
"Just keep looking forward,
101
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:55,011
"or we'll be
stuck here forever."
102
00:07:55,013 --> 00:07:58,114
Max, do you want to jot
any of this down or...
103
00:07:58,116 --> 00:07:59,648
Oh, no, it's okay, Max.
I've already got a copy.
104
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:00,949
You can copy from me later
105
00:08:00,951 --> 00:08:03,751
or I can give it to you
if you... If you want.
106
00:08:05,186 --> 00:08:06,653
I'm gonna stop talking.
107
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,956
Oh, shit.
Max, hey, wait.
108
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,125
Did you not get my messages?
Duncan. No.
109
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,694
Please, come on. Please.
110
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,929
Seriously, no.
111
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,197
The Bath-maticians were so excited
when I told them
112
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,265
that Amanda Cartwright's
daughter was my sister's best friend.
113
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:24,833
Step-sister.
114
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:27,068
Why would you say that?
That's so hurtful.
115
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,670
Please, Max,
I promised that you'd be there.
116
00:08:29,672 --> 00:08:31,571
I am the assistant
general manager
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00:08:31,573 --> 00:08:33,539
of the varsity.
Think of my reputation.
118
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:34,907
Wait. What are
"Bath-maticians"?
119
00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:36,775
Uh, Camp Bloodbath fans.
120
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,443
It's kind of our
awesome nickname.
121
00:08:38,445 --> 00:08:40,845
Did you know that a nickname
immediately becomes uncool
122
00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:41,745
when you give it to yourself?
123
00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,480
You know what, Gertie?
124
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:46,850
When my dad told me that I was
going to get a sister, I cried
125
00:08:46,852 --> 00:08:48,292
because that's all
I'd ever wanted.
126
00:08:49,386 --> 00:08:52,721
But not like this.
Not like this.
127
00:08:53,923 --> 00:08:54,923
Don't.
128
00:08:57,292 --> 00:08:59,760
Look, Camp Bloodbath
is like the granddaddy
129
00:08:59,762 --> 00:09:01,461
of all campsite
slasher films, okay.
130
00:09:01,463 --> 00:09:02,929
Amazing production design,
131
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,231
insane music,
over-the-top acting.
132
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,599
It's a cult classic.
133
00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:08,133
Max's mom plays Nancy,
134
00:09:08,135 --> 00:09:10,268
this sort of
shy girl-next-door
135
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:12,103
who gives up her butterfly
to some dumb jock,
136
00:09:12,105 --> 00:09:14,038
and Billy Murphy comes along
137
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,206
and chops her ass up
on a waterbed.
138
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:18,341
Sorry, Duncan.
139
00:09:18,343 --> 00:09:20,703
Tell your cult, maybe
I'll see them next year.
140
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:22,845
I'll do all your
Classics assignments
141
00:09:22,847 --> 00:09:24,146
for the rest of the year.
142
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,548
Papers, your homework,
all of it.
143
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:29,484
Gertie told me that
you were failing.
144
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,953
Please, Max, what do you say?
You wanna graduate, or not?
145
00:09:43,298 --> 00:09:44,298
Max!
146
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:48,300
Gertie!
Oh, you scared me.
147
00:09:50,703 --> 00:09:52,537
Well, this will be fun, huh?
148
00:09:52,539 --> 00:09:55,339
Being trapped in a movie theater
with a bunch of nerds.
149
00:09:55,341 --> 00:09:56,501
Yeah, sure.
150
00:09:57,642 --> 00:09:59,542
You know what was fun, though?
151
00:09:59,544 --> 00:10:02,411
Watching Chris today,
ogle over you.
152
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:03,845
Shut up.
153
00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:05,146
What? That's a word,
right? Ogle?
154
00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:07,448
He likes you so much,
it's so cute.
155
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:08,749
Gertie. Get real.
156
00:10:08,751 --> 00:10:10,951
He's like a giant, okay?
So, imagine us together.
157
00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:13,633
I'd need stilts to kiss him.
Hey!
158
00:10:14,353 --> 00:10:15,953
Hey!
Hi.
159
00:10:16,254 --> 00:10:18,388
What are you doing here?
160
00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:20,230
I figured you needed
some, uh, moral support.
161
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,792
Why, should I go?
Because I can if this is weird...
162
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:25,760
No, don't be crazy, Christopher.
163
00:10:25,762 --> 00:10:27,695
We're so happy you're here.
164
00:10:27,697 --> 00:10:30,177
I'm going to go popcorn up,
see you inside.
165
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,271
Wow. Your mom
was gorgeous.
166
00:10:43,474 --> 00:10:45,942
I'm sorry. That's a weird
thing to say, isn't it?
167
00:10:46,944 --> 00:10:48,744
Kind of.
168
00:10:48,746 --> 00:10:50,278
It's kind of cool we get to honor her
memory this way, right?
169
00:10:51,046 --> 00:10:52,046
Um...
170
00:10:53,548 --> 00:10:55,628
Today's the anniversary
of her death.
171
00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:57,783
I, uh...
172
00:10:59,585 --> 00:11:00,651
I don't know what to say.
173
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:02,852
Me neither.
174
00:11:05,088 --> 00:11:07,248
At least,
I get to see her,
175
00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,803
even if she is being chased
by a psycho with a machete.
176
00:11:12,093 --> 00:11:13,793
Stop, stop, stop.
177
00:11:13,795 --> 00:11:15,027
Oh, great.
178
00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:18,863
Hey! What a coincidence!
179
00:11:18,865 --> 00:11:20,764
This is Tyson.
We've been hanging out
180
00:11:20,766 --> 00:11:22,465
and he's so funny.
181
00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:26,268
My abs are like shredded
from laughing so hard.
182
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:27,936
Anyway, Tyson wanted
to come here tonight
183
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:31,205
and I was like, "Oh, my God, no."
But here we are.
184
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:33,507
So, you win, Tyson.
185
00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,976
So, you didn't see
my post about it, or anything?
186
00:11:35,978 --> 00:11:38,011
No, I don't go on
your stupid Twitter,
187
00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:40,246
which, by the way, has lost
three more followers today.
188
00:11:40,248 --> 00:11:42,147
Anyway, see you
guys inside, okay?
189
00:11:42,149 --> 00:11:43,149
Go.
190
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:48,652
I'm so wiped from
all these applications.
191
00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:50,754
Even my safety schools,
Stanford and Cornell,
192
00:11:50,756 --> 00:11:52,388
I'm not gonna just
half-ass them, you know.
193
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:53,856
It's just not my style.
194
00:11:53,858 --> 00:11:56,358
I am lucky that
I even made it out tonight at all.
195
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,759
Thank you, Adderall.
196
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,128
Where'd Terry go?
197
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:03,196
Terry? Tyson?
Tyson.
198
00:12:03,198 --> 00:12:06,332
Oh, yeah, he just
got like super-sick super-fast.
199
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,766
Mmm.
200
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,401
Oh, no, not the
super-sick super-fast.
201
00:12:10,403 --> 00:12:15,772
Max, are they doing this
because it's, you know, the anniversary?
202
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:18,841
Yeah, I'm here
for an appearance.
203
00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:20,275
I didn't think you'd...
204
00:12:20,277 --> 00:12:22,577
Come on, Max.
Of course, I would remember.
205
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:25,279
I have really good memory.
It's not just the Adderall.
206
00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:27,514
Hey, do you want anything?
207
00:12:27,516 --> 00:12:29,015
I'm gonna go get a popcorn
208
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:31,317
and then we can
dump M&M'S into it.
209
00:12:31,319 --> 00:12:33,818
That way, every handful is,
like, kind of suspenseful?
210
00:12:34,686 --> 00:12:36,086
Sure.
211
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,487
Hey, Chris, I'm just
gonna have a Diet Coke
212
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:39,255
and a child-size
popcorn,
213
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,256
but make sure to dump
half of it into the garbage.
214
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,523
You remember, right?
215
00:12:41,525 --> 00:12:43,625
You know what,
I'm just going to come with you.
216
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:46,461
She is the worst.
217
00:12:46,463 --> 00:12:47,663
She's like a living nightmare.
218
00:12:48,563 --> 00:12:50,263
I can't believe you used to be
friends with her.
219
00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:51,631
Look, she's probably
gonna pee on him
220
00:12:51,633 --> 00:12:52,632
just to mark her territory.
Gertie!
221
00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:53,966
Max!
222
00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:56,568
Hey, hey, you came.
Oh, God.
223
00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:57,835
All hail, Max!
224
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:01,204
Sorry, I don't know why
I worshipped you then,
225
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:02,471
I'm just excited to see you.
226
00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:05,974
You're also really weird.
You're very strange and weird.
227
00:13:05,976 --> 00:13:08,509
I can put you down
for the Q&A, right?
228
00:13:08,511 --> 00:13:10,110
After the show, do a little Q.
229
00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:11,377
No.
230
00:13:11,379 --> 00:13:13,445
And a little A
231
00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:15,527
I'll put you down as a maybe.
Okay, glad you're here.
232
00:13:15,614 --> 00:13:17,247
Oh!
233
00:13:19,983 --> 00:13:21,817
All right.
234
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:51,043
Hey, guys, we're here!
235
00:13:51,045 --> 00:13:53,145
Whoo!
236
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:54,947
Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.
237
00:14:00,785 --> 00:14:02,218
Are we there yet?
238
00:14:10,158 --> 00:14:11,158
You okay?
239
00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:14,667
Yeah.
240
00:14:16,395 --> 00:14:18,629
It all happened so long ago.
241
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:21,665
Little Billy Murphy
went to camp here decades ago.
242
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:26,268
And he was always picked on
for being different, ugly.
243
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:29,904
And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,
244
00:14:29,906 --> 00:14:32,072
the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.
245
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,175
No one really knows
how Billy was
246
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,977
before it happened.
247
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,946
The counselors hated him,
248
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,281
and the other kids
bullied him mercilessly.
249
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,216
Stop! Go away!
250
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:53,388
Billy, open up.
251
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,510
I know how to get him out.
252
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,245
Soak this moment in, babe,
253
00:15:21,247 --> 00:15:23,647
because you're always
gonna remember me.
254
00:15:23,649 --> 00:15:25,215
What does that tattoo mean?
255
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,717
It was given to me in juvie.
256
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,652
I was caught stealing cherries.
I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.
257
00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:36,589
Neat.
258
00:15:50,936 --> 00:15:52,002
Oh.
259
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:54,537
Nice legs.
260
00:15:55,805 --> 00:15:56,805
What time they open?
261
00:16:06,947 --> 00:16:08,013
Kurt?
262
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:17,555
Kurt?
263
00:16:18,155 --> 00:16:20,436
I'm going to get some air.
264
00:16:48,143 --> 00:16:49,376
The exits are blocked!
265
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:51,844
Duncan, is there an exit
behind the screen?
266
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:53,086
Yes. Yes.
267
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,781
Come on!
Go, go, go.
268
00:17:07,923 --> 00:17:08,989
Go, go, go.
269
00:17:46,355 --> 00:17:48,222
Max! Oh, God!
What happened?
270
00:17:48,224 --> 00:17:50,190
Where the hell are we?
I don't know.
271
00:17:50,192 --> 00:17:51,352
Did the theater burn down?
272
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,329
That was the scariest
thing I have ever seen.
273
00:17:56,331 --> 00:17:58,864
You're alive!
Oh, thank God!
274
00:17:58,866 --> 00:17:59,865
What does poison ivy look like?
275
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:00,832
Because I think I got...
276
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,133
Help me.
277
00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:04,990
Guys, somebody's coming.
278
00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:22,049
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
279
00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:24,117
Tina!
Yeah?
280
00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:38,762
Oh, my God.
281
00:18:38,764 --> 00:18:40,497
I'm having a psychotic episode.
282
00:18:40,499 --> 00:18:42,398
We all saw
the same thing, right?
283
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,733
Maybe it's a dream.
A collective dream.
284
00:18:44,735 --> 00:18:46,868
If this is a dream,
then there's a very strong chance
285
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:48,736
that my dad's going
to come up to us naked
286
00:18:48,738 --> 00:18:51,371
and offer us some pecan pie.
287
00:18:51,373 --> 00:18:54,206
But don't take any.
It is not pecan pie.
288
00:18:54,941 --> 00:18:55,941
Oh.
289
00:18:59,145 --> 00:19:02,247
Maybe we're dead
and this is heaven.
290
00:19:02,249 --> 00:19:03,448
This can't be heaven.
291
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:04,882
Max is here and she's Jewish.
292
00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:06,350
Oh, right.
293
00:19:06,352 --> 00:19:08,112
Well, maybe it's Jewish heaven.
294
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:10,153
Look!
295
00:19:22,497 --> 00:19:25,030
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
296
00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:26,498
Uh, yeah.
297
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,400
Just keep going
the way you're going.
298
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,635
Oh, wow, okay.
Thanks so much.
299
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:37,773
We're not dead.
We're insane!
300
00:19:38,374 --> 00:19:40,508
No, we're not.
301
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,870
And I don't think we're
in the Valley anymore.
302
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,413
Is anybody getting any bars?
303
00:19:48,415 --> 00:19:50,047
No.
304
00:19:50,049 --> 00:19:51,815
Eight, seven...
305
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:53,917
...six, five...
306
00:20:04,427 --> 00:20:07,027
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
307
00:20:07,029 --> 00:20:09,462
Yeah, actually we're counselors,
308
00:20:09,464 --> 00:20:12,031
and we can show you
if you'd just give us a ride.
309
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,766
Oh, rad! Yeah, hop in.
310
00:20:13,768 --> 00:20:15,067
Tubular!
311
00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,469
Dude, what are you doing?
312
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:20,205
Do we have a choice?
We're kind of stuck.
313
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:21,606
Let's go.
314
00:20:21,608 --> 00:20:22,608
Max.
315
00:20:27,877 --> 00:20:28,877
Come on, guys.
316
00:20:33,215 --> 00:20:34,481
You guys coming?
317
00:20:41,721 --> 00:20:43,688
I can't believe
you guys are counselors, too.
318
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,690
We've never had
this many before.
319
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:46,557
When the kids
get here next week,
320
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:48,058
they're gonna be so pumped.
321
00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:49,692
Hey, where are
you guys' suitcases?
322
00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:51,927
Because, honestly, your clothes,
323
00:20:51,929 --> 00:20:53,295
they're disgusting.
324
00:20:53,297 --> 00:20:54,829
Says the guy in the crop top.
325
00:20:54,831 --> 00:20:56,397
What's up?
326
00:20:56,399 --> 00:20:58,799
Are you guys poor people?
Are you guys poor?
327
00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:01,635
Uh, we packed light. Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
328
00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:02,802
What did you pack, Tina?
329
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:06,305
The basics, bikini,
mouthwash, diaphragm.
330
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,041
Hell, yeah, you did.
331
00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:11,324
'Cause they're
gonna get so naked.
332
00:21:11,410 --> 00:21:12,543
How did you know?
333
00:21:14,212 --> 00:21:16,213
Spring break, forever.
334
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:20,083
Hey, guys, we're here!
335
00:21:20,085 --> 00:21:22,085
Whoo!
336
00:21:22,087 --> 00:21:24,319
Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.
337
00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:32,660
Mmm.
338
00:21:33,228 --> 00:21:34,861
Are we there yet?
339
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:44,735
Oh, hi!
340
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:47,905
I'm Nancy.
What's your name?
341
00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,109
Max.
342
00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:55,144
First time away from home?
343
00:21:55,146 --> 00:21:56,712
It's okay.
344
00:21:56,714 --> 00:21:59,074
It's hard to be away
from your parents, huh?
345
00:22:08,256 --> 00:22:10,690
Best summer ever!
346
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,872
Oh! Yes.
347
00:22:31,941 --> 00:22:32,941
Whew.
348
00:22:33,775 --> 00:22:35,675
Well, kiddo, this is the summer
349
00:22:35,677 --> 00:22:37,809
that's going to
change your life.
350
00:22:39,444 --> 00:22:40,477
No kidding.
351
00:22:41,512 --> 00:22:43,613
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.
352
00:22:43,615 --> 00:22:45,414
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.
353
00:22:45,416 --> 00:22:47,182
Ah.
354
00:22:47,184 --> 00:22:50,885
Okay. So, we're
in the movie.
355
00:22:50,887 --> 00:22:52,987
Uh-huh. How do we get outta here?
Yeah, I like that question.
356
00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:54,154
That's a really,
really good question.
357
00:22:54,156 --> 00:22:55,788
Duncan, can you answer
that question, please?
358
00:22:55,790 --> 00:22:57,322
What are you talking about?
359
00:22:57,324 --> 00:22:59,023
It's 1986!
360
00:22:59,025 --> 00:23:00,124
Our homes don't exist yet.
361
00:23:00,126 --> 00:23:01,725
They're probably just
landfills waiting to be
362
00:23:01,727 --> 00:23:03,193
turned into crappy subdivisions.
363
00:23:03,195 --> 00:23:04,994
We don't exist yet.
364
00:23:04,996 --> 00:23:06,695
I know for a fact my
parents haven't met
365
00:23:06,697 --> 00:23:08,463
because I was
an unplanned child.
366
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:12,032
Anyone wanna help me
pick some strawberries?
367
00:23:12,034 --> 00:23:15,702
No, but I'll give you a hand
with those melons.
368
00:23:15,704 --> 00:23:18,571
Talking about her boobs!
You guys get me, right?
369
00:23:18,573 --> 00:23:19,933
Yeah, we do, brother.
370
00:23:21,741 --> 00:23:24,575
Kurt is insatiable.
371
00:23:24,577 --> 00:23:26,810
Um, okay,
so Mimi's in the woods,
372
00:23:26,812 --> 00:23:29,646
that means everything
is right on schedule.
373
00:23:29,648 --> 00:23:30,913
She hooks up with that hiker.
374
00:23:30,915 --> 00:23:32,648
But then she gets killed, right?
375
00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:35,951
Yeah, exactly.
Everyone who has sex in this movie dies.
376
00:23:35,953 --> 00:23:36,953
It's awesome.
377
00:23:38,187 --> 00:23:39,720
I got into
bodybuilding big time.
378
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:41,321
Yeah. Oh, my God,
can I touch it?
379
00:23:41,323 --> 00:23:42,789
Yeah, touch it.
Oh, wow.
380
00:23:42,791 --> 00:23:44,223
The backside's just as hard.
381
00:23:44,225 --> 00:23:45,465
Touch the backside.
382
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:48,593
That's right. Everyone.
383
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:49,927
I'm with Gertie on this one.
384
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,261
Let's just take
their van and bail.
385
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,528
What do we have to lose?
386
00:23:52,530 --> 00:23:54,563
Yeah, did I say that?
I did? Okay.
387
00:23:54,565 --> 00:23:56,865
We actually probably
shouldn't talk to them.
388
00:23:58,601 --> 00:24:00,568
Oh! What's up, funbags?
389
00:24:00,570 --> 00:24:03,404
Funbags. Right.
Yay, feminism.
390
00:24:03,406 --> 00:24:06,006
Listen, we need
to borrow your van for a little while.
391
00:24:06,008 --> 00:24:07,707
Is that okay? Yeah?
392
00:24:07,709 --> 00:24:10,176
I don't know.
What's in it for me?
393
00:24:11,411 --> 00:24:13,445
How about my friends
don't kick your ass?
394
00:24:18,617 --> 00:24:21,017
Oh! This guy's
your friend?
395
00:24:21,019 --> 00:24:22,518
Yeah, right.
You want to go?
396
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,853
No, no. God, no.
Bicep, smash.
397
00:24:24,855 --> 00:24:26,921
And that would kill you.
That's a karate technique.
398
00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:28,622
No, I don't.
I've never actually
399
00:24:28,624 --> 00:24:30,156
fought anyone before in my life.
400
00:24:30,158 --> 00:24:31,723
Yeah, well, I have.
So many times.
401
00:24:33,892 --> 00:24:36,159
Seven times.
402
00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:39,929
Hey, this is so weird.
Do me a favor and just zing me. Just get me.
403
00:24:39,931 --> 00:24:43,598
Fine. How about
you go suck a turd?
404
00:24:45,668 --> 00:24:48,068
The writing is so bad.
405
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:53,105
Okay, tell you what.
You find the keys and the van's yours.
406
00:24:56,008 --> 00:24:57,308
Oops.
407
00:24:57,310 --> 00:24:58,475
Really?
408
00:24:59,644 --> 00:25:01,377
I'm glad that you die.
409
00:25:01,379 --> 00:25:02,611
- What?
- Nothing!
410
00:25:02,613 --> 00:25:06,014
What she meant to say was,
that we all die eventually.
411
00:25:06,016 --> 00:25:08,649
Technically, we start dying
the moment we're born.
412
00:25:08,651 --> 00:25:09,651
Yeah, right.
413
00:25:10,985 --> 00:25:14,320
Yes, but not to overwhelm you...
Okay.
414
00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,854
I liked you when you were
laughing at my jokes.
415
00:25:15,856 --> 00:25:17,288
Now, I just think you're weird.
416
00:25:17,290 --> 00:25:18,522
Okay, let's just go get the...
417
00:25:18,524 --> 00:25:20,924
Sorry. Let's go
get the keys.
418
00:25:35,670 --> 00:25:37,537
Oh, hey, you wanna
give me a hand?
419
00:25:38,906 --> 00:25:40,573
Sure.
420
00:25:40,575 --> 00:25:42,255
All right.
Let's rock and roll.
421
00:25:42,509 --> 00:25:44,589
Oh, my God.
It really is you.
422
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:47,978
What?
Nothing.
423
00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:48,980
Whoo!
424
00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:52,234
All right!
Push-up time!
425
00:25:52,449 --> 00:25:53,449
So, um...
426
00:25:55,517 --> 00:25:57,885
Kurt told me he
wants to do it later.
427
00:25:58,887 --> 00:26:00,454
Wow. Just like that?
428
00:26:00,456 --> 00:26:02,189
I know!
429
00:26:02,191 --> 00:26:04,558
And it's like, I can't stay a virgin forever,
you know?
430
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:05,692
And he's been
with a lot of girls,
431
00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:07,460
so he can probably, like,
432
00:26:07,462 --> 00:26:09,061
I don't know, help me along.
433
00:26:10,063 --> 00:26:11,029
You shouldn't have sex!
434
00:26:11,031 --> 00:26:12,797
Why?
435
00:26:12,799 --> 00:26:14,832
Because I heard
that sex can kill you.
436
00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:18,569
Max. Sex isn't
anything to be afraid of.
437
00:26:18,571 --> 00:26:19,903
I mean, Tina's already
done it twice today,
438
00:26:19,905 --> 00:26:21,785
and look at her,
she's totally normal.
439
00:26:25,776 --> 00:26:27,143
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
440
00:26:27,145 --> 00:26:28,611
She says the best
feeling in the world
441
00:26:28,613 --> 00:26:30,613
is getting stoned and
doing it on a waterbed.
442
00:26:31,513 --> 00:26:33,881
Don't hang around Tina.
443
00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:36,149
No, but I told myself
that I was going to
444
00:26:36,151 --> 00:26:37,750
lose my virginity this summer.
445
00:26:37,752 --> 00:26:39,351
Get drunk!
Not necessarily in that order.
446
00:26:39,353 --> 00:26:40,785
Please, just trust me.
447
00:26:41,787 --> 00:26:43,053
You sound like my mom.
448
00:26:44,522 --> 00:26:45,722
Right back at you.
449
00:26:45,724 --> 00:26:47,223
Hello, hi.
450
00:26:47,225 --> 00:26:50,025
Uh, we have to go get everyone.
Let's go.
451
00:26:50,027 --> 00:26:51,659
We will pick this up again.
Is that understood?
452
00:26:51,661 --> 00:26:53,427
In the meantime,
453
00:26:53,429 --> 00:26:55,429
just stay away from Kurt
and keep your shorts on.
454
00:26:56,096 --> 00:26:57,763
Okay.
455
00:26:57,765 --> 00:26:59,005
What are you doing?
456
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,301
Dibs on the one that looks like
Ricky Schroder.
457
00:27:03,303 --> 00:27:07,071
Their hair's so flat.
It's making me sad.
458
00:27:07,073 --> 00:27:08,939
That girl with the freckles
is sort of cute.
459
00:27:08,941 --> 00:27:09,906
You know, none of them
460
00:27:09,908 --> 00:27:12,028
are on the counselors' roster.
461
00:27:14,677 --> 00:27:16,944
Where did they come from?
462
00:27:21,716 --> 00:27:23,583
We are never gonna
find these keys.
463
00:27:23,585 --> 00:27:25,585
Not with that attitude,
we're not.
464
00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:28,807
Though, you are correct.
465
00:27:36,828 --> 00:27:38,495
Let's go back. Now.
466
00:27:38,497 --> 00:27:40,897
Shh.
It's happening.
467
00:27:40,899 --> 00:27:42,598
We have to warn her.
No. No.
468
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,466
Just think of them as animals
469
00:27:44,468 --> 00:27:45,867
on a nature preserve, okay?
470
00:27:45,869 --> 00:27:49,429
Our duty is not to disrupt,
but to observe.
471
00:27:50,204 --> 00:27:52,038
Oh!
472
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,374
Oh, gosh, you startled me.
473
00:27:55,376 --> 00:27:57,642
Sorry, I'm looking for town.
474
00:27:57,644 --> 00:28:00,077
So, I just go down
that path all the way?
475
00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:03,146
A guy like you
can go anywhere he wants.
476
00:28:03,148 --> 00:28:04,314
I can't believe we're just gonna
477
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,282
casually watch
someone get murdered.
478
00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:07,284
What is this, Detroit?
479
00:28:08,485 --> 00:28:10,085
Mmm.
480
00:28:12,455 --> 00:28:15,088
What is that noise?
It's Billy. He's coming.
481
00:28:15,090 --> 00:28:18,424
Let's get out of here then.
No, no. Stay, stay.
482
00:28:30,302 --> 00:28:31,501
Did you hear something?
483
00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:33,943
Baby, I didn't hear a thing.
484
00:28:37,206 --> 00:28:41,042
Give me a second.
Go over there. Get ready.
485
00:28:54,790 --> 00:28:56,055
Okay! Where's the beef?
486
00:29:03,263 --> 00:29:05,896
Come on, man!
I said, where's the...
487
00:29:20,471 --> 00:29:21,571
Run!
488
00:29:21,573 --> 00:29:23,339
Go, go, go, go!
489
00:29:23,341 --> 00:29:24,540
Guys, guys, wait, wait, wait.
490
00:29:24,542 --> 00:29:25,908
Duncan!
491
00:29:25,910 --> 00:29:27,442
What are you doing?
492
00:29:27,444 --> 00:29:29,177
Duncan.
493
00:29:29,179 --> 00:29:31,979
It's okay.
He won't hurt us.
494
00:29:31,981 --> 00:29:33,814
He would've
killed me by now, okay?
495
00:29:33,816 --> 00:29:36,817
I think it's because we're not
actually part of the movie,
496
00:29:36,819 --> 00:29:38,718
he doesn't really
know what to do with us.
497
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,053
Isn't that right, Billy Boy?
498
00:29:41,055 --> 00:29:44,156
Man, you are big and scary.
499
00:29:44,158 --> 00:29:45,924
I wonder if all this blood
is just corn syrup, you know?
500
00:29:45,926 --> 00:29:47,225
Like these characters
are walking around
501
00:29:47,227 --> 00:29:49,508
with just corn syrup
in their veins, you know?
502
00:29:49,761 --> 00:29:51,228
Let's give it a shot here.
503
00:29:53,431 --> 00:29:57,265
Oh, God. No, that is, um...
That is not corn syrup.
504
00:29:57,267 --> 00:29:59,300
That is...
Oh, God, that's blood.
505
00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:03,103
All the more reason for us
to get the hell outta here.
506
00:30:03,105 --> 00:30:04,270
No, no. Look,
everything in this world
507
00:30:04,272 --> 00:30:05,804
is running exactly on schedule.
508
00:30:05,806 --> 00:30:08,273
Besides, to leave,
509
00:30:08,275 --> 00:30:10,375
we probably have to wait
until the movie's over, or something.
510
00:30:10,377 --> 00:30:12,076
Well, when is that
going to happen?
511
00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:13,877
Okay, look, movies like this end
512
00:30:13,879 --> 00:30:15,678
when the final girl
kills the main bad guy
513
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,179
and the credits roll.
514
00:30:17,181 --> 00:30:18,647
It's actually
pretty sick in this one.
515
00:30:18,649 --> 00:30:21,149
She kicks up the sword and
she kills him with his own machete
516
00:30:21,151 --> 00:30:23,784
- And Billy's like...
- It goes right through his hands.
517
00:30:23,786 --> 00:30:25,452
Like...
518
00:30:27,188 --> 00:30:30,356
- Head splits open. Pfft!
- Punches it.
519
00:30:30,358 --> 00:30:32,057
Brain goes out...
520
00:30:32,059 --> 00:30:33,825
Duncan!
Ugh.
521
00:30:33,827 --> 00:30:37,161
Anyway, this smoking
hot girl called Paula,
522
00:30:37,163 --> 00:30:39,830
she arrives in the next reel,
she's the final girl.
523
00:30:39,832 --> 00:30:44,367
Oh, yeah, she is the only one
in this movie who doesn't die.
524
00:30:44,369 --> 00:30:46,702
All we've got to do
is stick with her
525
00:30:46,704 --> 00:30:48,103
and we're going to have
the best seats in the house.
526
00:30:48,105 --> 00:30:50,839
Trust me, this last battle
will blow your minds.
527
00:30:50,841 --> 00:30:52,340
- Okay, selfie time.
- Duncan!
528
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,193
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
529
00:31:31,843 --> 00:31:33,410
I think I almost
just pissed my pants.
530
00:31:33,412 --> 00:31:34,644
You did piss your pants.
531
00:31:34,646 --> 00:31:36,012
What? No, I didn't.
532
00:31:52,157 --> 00:31:53,924
Let's get out of here!
533
00:31:57,261 --> 00:31:58,628
Wait! Where are you going?
534
00:31:58,630 --> 00:31:59,929
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
535
00:31:59,931 --> 00:32:01,497
You came back! Yay!
536
00:32:04,868 --> 00:32:06,100
This way!
537
00:32:06,102 --> 00:32:07,301
Wait! Where are you going?
538
00:32:07,303 --> 00:32:08,835
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
539
00:32:08,837 --> 00:32:10,535
You came back! Yay!
540
00:32:12,504 --> 00:32:13,937
What is happening?
541
00:32:15,272 --> 00:32:17,072
Wait! Where are you going?
542
00:32:17,074 --> 00:32:18,106
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
543
00:32:18,108 --> 00:32:20,741
You came back! Yay!
544
00:32:20,743 --> 00:32:22,423
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
545
00:32:25,479 --> 00:32:27,479
I don't think
Billy's the only problem.
546
00:32:28,481 --> 00:32:30,315
It's the movie.
547
00:32:30,317 --> 00:32:32,237
The movie won't let us leave.
548
00:33:19,792 --> 00:33:21,512
Come on, everyone.
Sing along!
549
00:33:22,893 --> 00:33:26,128
Duncan is dead.
We have to warn them.
550
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,029
Please. They're morons.
551
00:33:28,031 --> 00:33:29,997
I wanna know where
they keep the hardware in this dump.
552
00:33:29,999 --> 00:33:32,699
I want chainsaws and
I want big-ass knives, and I want them now.
553
00:33:32,701 --> 00:33:35,101
What am I gonna
tell our parents?
554
00:33:36,403 --> 00:33:38,637
I don't want to die here, guys.
555
00:33:40,306 --> 00:33:43,706
Me neither.
There's got to be a way to get home.
556
00:33:55,352 --> 00:33:57,186
Did I miss the Kumbaya circle?
557
00:33:57,188 --> 00:33:58,587
Paula, you're just in time
558
00:33:58,589 --> 00:34:00,889
to start setting up
for the slumber party.
559
00:34:00,891 --> 00:34:04,325
Yeah, we took a vote
and you get to share my sleeping bag.
560
00:34:04,327 --> 00:34:06,260
Thanks, Kurt.
But I'm saving myself
561
00:34:06,262 --> 00:34:08,102
for someone who
doesn't have a needle dick.
562
00:34:08,863 --> 00:34:10,029
Yeah right, it's like
563
00:34:10,031 --> 00:34:13,365
a hammer dick, if anything.
564
00:34:13,367 --> 00:34:14,367
It's a sledgehammer.
565
00:34:14,967 --> 00:34:15,967
Uh, who are they?
566
00:34:17,836 --> 00:34:19,970
Oh, they're the new counselors.
They're super nice.
567
00:34:19,972 --> 00:34:21,471
We don't have new counselors.
568
00:34:21,473 --> 00:34:24,507
Well, now we do.
569
00:34:24,509 --> 00:34:26,976
All right, guys, let's split up into
groups and get busy.
570
00:34:26,978 --> 00:34:28,010
Whoo!
571
00:34:32,314 --> 00:34:34,014
That's her.
That's Paula.
572
00:34:34,016 --> 00:34:35,348
She's the final girl, right?
573
00:34:35,350 --> 00:34:36,549
She's the one that kills Billy.
574
00:34:36,551 --> 00:34:38,350
We just have to stay with her
till the end of the movie.
575
00:34:38,352 --> 00:34:40,485
I'm sticking to that bitch
like white on rice.
576
00:34:40,487 --> 00:34:43,087
Okay. Now, we just have
to keep Billy away from us.
577
00:34:43,089 --> 00:34:44,721
It's just like Duncan said.
578
00:34:44,723 --> 00:34:46,522
The moment a top comes off,
Billy shows up.
579
00:34:46,524 --> 00:34:48,156
Vicki, stick with Paula and Tina.
Mmm-hmm.
580
00:34:48,158 --> 00:34:50,124
Gertie, you take Blake.
Chris, take Kurt.
581
00:34:50,126 --> 00:34:51,458
No, I want Chris
to stick with me.
582
00:34:51,460 --> 00:34:53,092
No, we have to cover everyone.
583
00:34:53,094 --> 00:34:54,526
I'll stick with my mom.
584
00:34:54,528 --> 00:34:55,860
You know that's
not your mom, right?
585
00:34:55,862 --> 00:34:57,895
Vicki!
Don't defend her.
586
00:34:57,897 --> 00:34:59,857
This delusional shit
is gonna get us all killed.
587
00:35:10,907 --> 00:35:12,274
Ooh! Whoa!
588
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,242
Look at the pair on her!
589
00:35:14,244 --> 00:35:16,577
I would just
motorboat those for hours.
590
00:35:16,579 --> 00:35:17,859
Yeah, but look
at those articles,
591
00:35:18,646 --> 00:35:20,146
I could read those
all night long.
592
00:35:20,981 --> 00:35:23,148
What are you, a fag?
593
00:35:23,150 --> 00:35:25,884
You don't like some
nice big hoots?
594
00:35:25,886 --> 00:35:27,752
Hooting!
595
00:35:27,754 --> 00:35:30,321
My dads are gay.
So, shut the hell up.
596
00:35:30,323 --> 00:35:32,623
Yeah, right!
Gay guys can't have kids.
597
00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:34,858
They're too busy going to discos
598
00:35:34,860 --> 00:35:36,192
and having sex with each other.
599
00:35:36,194 --> 00:35:37,826
It's actually
a pretty cool lifestyle.
600
00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:44,330
Oh!
601
00:35:44,332 --> 00:35:45,931
Hi.
Hey.
602
00:35:45,933 --> 00:35:47,098
I really like your pin.
603
00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:48,365
Oh, thank you.
604
00:35:50,968 --> 00:35:52,268
Where'd you get yours?
605
00:35:52,270 --> 00:35:53,736
My friends gave them to me.
606
00:35:53,738 --> 00:35:55,404
Where'd you get yours?
607
00:35:55,406 --> 00:35:57,606
Um, I made it, actually,
608
00:35:57,608 --> 00:36:00,908
at this, like, prison
pen-pal convention thing.
609
00:36:01,676 --> 00:36:03,276
Oh, that's awesome!
610
00:36:03,278 --> 00:36:05,244
Yeah.
611
00:36:08,314 --> 00:36:10,548
Hey, what's up
with this cassette?
612
00:36:10,550 --> 00:36:11,815
There are no holes in it.
613
00:36:13,784 --> 00:36:15,384
Give me that.
614
00:36:15,386 --> 00:36:18,486
What are these?
No, no. Bad!
615
00:36:19,087 --> 00:36:21,521
Not for you. Very bad!
616
00:36:29,295 --> 00:36:31,796
It's too bad all the girls
are so busted, huh?
617
00:36:31,798 --> 00:36:33,264
The only way you or I
are going to get any
618
00:36:33,266 --> 00:36:35,466
is with angel eyes over there.
619
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,568
What? Are you nuts?
620
00:36:38,570 --> 00:36:43,372
No, no, no. These girls
are slamming, my man.
621
00:36:43,374 --> 00:36:45,774
And I am going
to do all of them.
622
00:36:47,210 --> 00:36:49,243
Yum! By the way,
what's with you and Max?
623
00:36:49,245 --> 00:36:50,245
Are you guys...
624
00:36:54,281 --> 00:36:55,648
Are you guys having sex?
625
00:36:55,650 --> 00:36:57,883
Because if not,
I wouldn't mind
626
00:36:57,885 --> 00:36:59,851
bench pressing her
with my dumbbell.
627
00:36:59,853 --> 00:37:02,053
Oh!
Listen, brah,
628
00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:03,854
you're not bench pressing
anyone with your dumbbell.
629
00:37:03,856 --> 00:37:06,590
If I so much hear your dumbbell
took a Pilates class...
630
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:09,472
What?
...I'm gonna cut it off.
631
00:37:10,227 --> 00:37:11,560
I swiped a whole
case of this stuff
632
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:13,361
from my uncle before coming.
633
00:37:13,363 --> 00:37:15,329
I'm gonna need it if I'm
stuck here for the summer
634
00:37:15,331 --> 00:37:18,332
instead of souping up
this bitching firebird I found in...
635
00:37:18,334 --> 00:37:19,933
Yeah, yeah, yeah, great.
Where do they keep the chainsaws here?
636
00:37:20,434 --> 00:37:21,934
What?
637
00:37:21,936 --> 00:37:24,102
We might want to find out, right?
Where they keep them?
638
00:37:24,104 --> 00:37:25,436
Because you never know
639
00:37:25,438 --> 00:37:28,205
when you might need a chainsaw.
640
00:37:28,207 --> 00:37:30,488
Why do we need a chainsaw
for a slumber party?
641
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:34,309
I know what's going to
go down at this camp,
642
00:37:34,311 --> 00:37:36,210
and it's not pretty.
643
00:37:41,315 --> 00:37:43,316
Uh, so, where's that
other guy you came with?
644
00:37:43,884 --> 00:37:45,317
Uh...
645
00:37:45,319 --> 00:37:46,885
My brother.
Mmm-hmm.
646
00:37:46,887 --> 00:37:48,586
Yeah, he's, uh...
647
00:37:49,821 --> 00:37:51,755
He's napping somewhere.
648
00:37:53,323 --> 00:37:55,524
Okay, let's go.
You want to go?
649
00:37:55,526 --> 00:37:59,086
Yeah, let's.
You got all the wood you need.
650
00:38:15,711 --> 00:38:16,743
Mom, no!
651
00:38:24,383 --> 00:38:26,450
Get dressed. Now.
Oh, my God, Max!
652
00:38:26,452 --> 00:38:28,251
What are you doing here?
Get out!
653
00:38:28,253 --> 00:38:29,585
Nancy, if you go
through with this,
654
00:38:29,587 --> 00:38:30,886
you're going to get hurt.
655
00:38:30,888 --> 00:38:34,155
Kurt said he liked me, okay.
He said it.
656
00:38:34,157 --> 00:38:36,517
Yeah, they always say it,
they just don't act like it.
657
00:38:40,128 --> 00:38:42,128
God. You must think
I'm a total zero.
658
00:38:49,402 --> 00:38:53,905
I just wanted to feel
grown-up, special.
659
00:38:56,308 --> 00:38:59,076
You are special.
660
00:38:59,078 --> 00:39:01,011
I'm the shy girl with the clipboard
and the guitar.
661
00:39:01,013 --> 00:39:02,045
Special to who?
662
00:39:04,214 --> 00:39:05,581
Special to me.
663
00:39:10,219 --> 00:39:11,686
Who are you, Max?
664
00:39:14,688 --> 00:39:17,790
Soak this moment in, babe,
665
00:39:17,792 --> 00:39:19,291
because you're always
gonna remember me.
666
00:39:19,293 --> 00:39:20,293
Oh, shit.
667
00:39:20,660 --> 00:39:21,726
Ooh!
668
00:39:21,728 --> 00:39:24,428
Two for the price of one.
669
00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:26,530
You babes just
couldn't wait, could you?
670
00:39:26,532 --> 00:39:28,632
We're leaving.
Too late.
671
00:39:28,634 --> 00:39:31,874
Genie's already out of the bottle.
Make a wish.
672
00:39:32,335 --> 00:39:33,335
Ew.
Ew.
673
00:39:36,037 --> 00:39:37,437
Where's Max?
674
00:39:37,439 --> 00:39:39,199
I don't know.
Do you hear that?
675
00:39:55,321 --> 00:39:57,721
What'd I say, huh?
Leave her alone!
676
00:40:04,061 --> 00:40:07,163
Lock the windows!
Shut the curtains!
He can see us!
677
00:40:07,165 --> 00:40:09,298
Who is he?
678
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:11,733
Max. You have to
tell them about Billy.
679
00:40:12,301 --> 00:40:14,068
Oh, God. He's here.
680
00:40:15,737 --> 00:40:21,107
Not Billy Murphy?
I mean, he's just a legend.
681
00:40:21,109 --> 00:40:23,042
Oh! I love legends.
682
00:40:23,044 --> 00:40:26,911
Loch Ness, Bigfoot,
Bon Jovi. All of them.
683
00:40:28,513 --> 00:40:30,046
It all happened so long ago.
684
00:40:45,162 --> 00:40:47,602
Little Billy Murphy went
to camp here decades ago.
685
00:40:48,998 --> 00:40:50,765
And he was always
picked on for being...
686
00:40:50,767 --> 00:40:53,033
Um, guys?
687
00:40:53,035 --> 00:40:54,801
...different, ugly.
688
00:40:56,236 --> 00:40:58,503
And then one summer...
This is bad.
689
00:40:58,505 --> 00:41:00,705
...the hottest one on record,
690
00:41:00,707 --> 00:41:03,107
the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.
691
00:41:05,810 --> 00:41:06,976
What's happening?
692
00:41:17,987 --> 00:41:19,387
Oh.
693
00:41:19,389 --> 00:41:22,857
This is...
What, are we home?
694
00:41:22,859 --> 00:41:25,158
Oh, God, why am I colorblind?
Am I having a stroke?
695
00:41:27,794 --> 00:41:30,194
I think we're in a flashback.
696
00:41:40,770 --> 00:41:43,670
It started as
just another ordinary day.
697
00:41:43,672 --> 00:41:45,438
But little did they know...
What the hell is that voice?
698
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,173
...something was about
to go horribly wrong.
699
00:41:47,175 --> 00:41:48,741
No one really knows
how Billy was
700
00:41:48,743 --> 00:41:51,043
before it happened.
701
00:41:51,045 --> 00:41:53,945
The counselors hated him,
and the other kids bullied him mercilessly.
702
00:41:53,947 --> 00:41:55,646
Stop!
703
00:41:55,648 --> 00:41:57,888
Where'd you get
these clothes, huh?
704
00:42:00,117 --> 00:42:02,517
Guys, that's Billy.
Come on, Billy.
705
00:42:04,087 --> 00:42:07,023
Hey, what are you
little idiots doing?
706
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,791
Billy's in there,
and he's been in there forever.
707
00:42:08,793 --> 00:42:10,793
Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,
708
00:42:10,795 --> 00:42:12,528
thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.
709
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,997
Billy.
Billy, open up.
710
00:42:15,765 --> 00:42:18,046
I know how to get him out.
711
00:42:36,983 --> 00:42:39,217
Billy had third-degree
burns all over his body
712
00:42:39,219 --> 00:42:41,852
because of
the counselors' prank.
713
00:42:41,854 --> 00:42:45,121
And the only thing that could
distract Billy from his terrible pain,
714
00:42:45,123 --> 00:42:48,190
was thinking about
what had been done to him.
715
00:42:48,192 --> 00:42:51,593
And during those long,
agonizing nights in the burn ward,
716
00:42:51,595 --> 00:42:54,028
Billy's fear was slowly
replaced by something else.
717
00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:56,864
Hatred.
718
00:42:58,099 --> 00:43:00,600
His face would
never be the same.
719
00:43:00,602 --> 00:43:02,101
And so, he made a mask
720
00:43:02,103 --> 00:43:04,303
to hide his scars
on the outside,
721
00:43:04,305 --> 00:43:07,439
but his anger
grew on the inside.
722
00:43:07,441 --> 00:43:10,008
All Billy wanted was
to make everyone as afraid
723
00:43:10,010 --> 00:43:12,310
as he was
on that terrible day.
724
00:43:13,378 --> 00:43:15,145
He started his reign of terror
725
00:43:15,147 --> 00:43:17,247
by returning to
exact his revenge.
726
00:43:30,929 --> 00:43:33,796
He killed eight counselors
that night.
727
00:43:33,798 --> 00:43:36,632
One for every month
he spent in that hospital bed.
728
00:43:36,634 --> 00:43:38,266
And legend has it
Billy still lives
729
00:43:38,268 --> 00:43:40,334
in these woods
in his own little shack,
730
00:43:40,336 --> 00:43:42,803
waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,
731
00:43:42,805 --> 00:43:45,805
waiting to get revenge
again and again.
732
00:44:01,621 --> 00:44:03,554
The car! The car!
733
00:44:03,556 --> 00:44:05,322
Guys, you can't leave!
Literally!
734
00:44:13,062 --> 00:44:16,196
Get up! Get up! Stop!
Don't come any closer.
735
00:44:16,198 --> 00:44:18,665
Okay, just listen.
We can explain.
736
00:44:18,667 --> 00:44:21,467
You can't leave.
None of us can.
737
00:44:21,469 --> 00:44:22,634
Not until he's dead.
738
00:44:22,636 --> 00:44:23,636
Until who's dead?
739
00:44:24,670 --> 00:44:26,350
Billy Murphy.
What?
740
00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,006
Drive! Drive!
741
00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:35,844
Look, I'm just
trying to save you.
742
00:44:35,846 --> 00:44:37,912
Why? Why are you
trying to save me?
743
00:44:37,914 --> 00:44:39,213
Well, because you're my...
744
00:44:42,916 --> 00:44:44,016
My first friend here.
745
00:44:47,587 --> 00:44:49,053
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
746
00:44:49,055 --> 00:44:50,687
Help me.
I'm not dead!
747
00:44:50,689 --> 00:44:52,822
Duncan!
You're alive!
748
00:44:56,792 --> 00:44:59,627
No, you killed Duncan!
749
00:44:59,629 --> 00:45:03,864
Let's just go to a hotel
and just relax for the night
750
00:45:03,866 --> 00:45:05,746
and maybe we can
get into something.
751
00:45:10,470 --> 00:45:12,838
Oh, my God, Kurt!
Oh, my God!
752
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,673
Paula! She's alive!
753
00:45:14,675 --> 00:45:15,840
Paula, don't move!
754
00:45:22,646 --> 00:45:24,413
Shit!
755
00:45:30,486 --> 00:45:32,787
I can't believe
they're all dead.
756
00:45:32,789 --> 00:45:35,756
They were never alive.
757
00:45:35,758 --> 00:45:37,724
They weren't real.
Neither are you.
758
00:45:37,726 --> 00:45:40,259
Because this is just a movie,
759
00:45:40,261 --> 00:45:43,795
and Paula was the only one
that could kill Billy.
760
00:45:43,797 --> 00:45:45,196
We're screwed.
761
00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,154
What does she mean,
"just a movie"?
762
00:45:57,873 --> 00:46:00,841
So, we're in a movie?
763
00:46:01,876 --> 00:46:03,810
But this is a horror movie,
764
00:46:03,812 --> 00:46:06,479
and Billy Murphy's
really after all of us.
765
00:46:06,481 --> 00:46:07,947
Why do I have to wear
all this stuff again?
766
00:46:07,949 --> 00:46:09,615
Because you're scripted
767
00:46:09,617 --> 00:46:11,583
to do a striptease
at the slumber party,
768
00:46:11,585 --> 00:46:13,985
and when you take your top off,
Billy comes running.
769
00:46:13,987 --> 00:46:16,721
But why does he hate my boobs?
770
00:46:16,723 --> 00:46:18,122
Because they're not big?
771
00:46:18,124 --> 00:46:21,024
So, wait, is new wave real?
772
00:46:21,026 --> 00:46:23,326
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
773
00:46:23,328 --> 00:46:25,961
But I'm not real.
774
00:46:25,963 --> 00:46:28,496
You're only real in the movie.
775
00:46:28,498 --> 00:46:30,830
So, yeah, you're real here.
776
00:46:32,432 --> 00:46:33,432
Oh, cool.
777
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:35,933
Guys, we just wanna get home.
778
00:46:35,935 --> 00:46:38,001
But, okay...
779
00:46:38,003 --> 00:46:39,602
But you said Paula was the only one
who could kill him.
780
00:46:39,604 --> 00:46:42,638
And she just died.
781
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,120
Exactly. Which is why
we need to nominate a new final girl.
782
00:46:47,542 --> 00:46:48,875
And I'm willing to be it.
783
00:46:51,879 --> 00:46:55,914
What?
Well, you're not a virgin.
784
00:46:55,916 --> 00:46:57,348
I am, too, a virgin!
785
00:46:59,084 --> 00:47:01,385
I technically am that...
786
00:47:01,387 --> 00:47:02,686
Whatever, what does it matter?
787
00:47:02,688 --> 00:47:05,288
Because it just does, Vicki.
788
00:47:05,290 --> 00:47:06,889
You have to be
a virgin in this movie
789
00:47:06,891 --> 00:47:08,657
in order to kill Billy, okay?
790
00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:12,827
And the only true-blue virgin here
is Max.
791
00:47:15,530 --> 00:47:16,770
I'm not the only virgin.
792
00:47:17,964 --> 00:47:19,297
Gertie, you're a virgin.
793
00:47:19,299 --> 00:47:21,732
No. Not anymore.
794
00:47:21,734 --> 00:47:23,700
Last summer,
with that guy Gerry.
795
00:47:23,702 --> 00:47:25,301
He had the like weird mustache
796
00:47:25,303 --> 00:47:26,302
and he, like, winked, remember?
797
00:47:26,304 --> 00:47:27,544
Isn't he autistic?
798
00:47:28,871 --> 00:47:32,806
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
But he's also very romantic.
799
00:47:32,808 --> 00:47:35,241
Damn, superfreak.
I like!
800
00:47:36,543 --> 00:47:38,410
Okay, let's make a plan.
Yeah.
801
00:47:38,412 --> 00:47:40,545
We need to get Billy's machete.
802
00:47:40,547 --> 00:47:42,046
The one he's holding?
803
00:47:42,048 --> 00:47:43,647
Yeah. Duncan said
that's the only way to kill him.
804
00:47:43,649 --> 00:47:44,914
Everything else
just slows him down.
805
00:47:44,916 --> 00:47:46,615
So, we're supposed to
just pry it from his hands?
806
00:47:46,617 --> 00:47:49,884
Well, we don't really have
any other options. Okay?
807
00:47:49,886 --> 00:47:52,086
Look, we just have to get
his machete into Max's hands
808
00:47:52,088 --> 00:47:53,487
so she can chop his head off,
end the movie,
809
00:47:53,489 --> 00:47:54,988
and we can all go home.
810
00:47:56,890 --> 00:47:59,858
No. No way!
I can't do this.
811
00:47:59,860 --> 00:48:01,960
See? She's even saying
that she can't do it.
812
00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:04,762
Vicki! Enough! Jesus!
Can you just shut up for a second?
813
00:48:04,764 --> 00:48:06,764
God! I can't believe
I put up with you for so long.
814
00:48:07,832 --> 00:48:10,133
Max, you got this.
No.
815
00:48:10,135 --> 00:48:13,202
Max. You can do this.
816
00:48:13,204 --> 00:48:14,670
If it wasn't for you,
we'd all be dead
817
00:48:14,672 --> 00:48:16,004
burning in the theater
right now.
818
00:48:16,006 --> 00:48:17,246
Yeah, and look where I got us.
819
00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:21,809
I can do it. I can
be the final girl.
820
00:48:21,811 --> 00:48:23,010
I'm a virgin, too.
821
00:48:23,012 --> 00:48:25,212
I didn't sleep with Kurt.
822
00:48:25,214 --> 00:48:27,314
So, now I guess I'll
be able to save myself
823
00:48:27,316 --> 00:48:28,648
for George Michael after all.
824
00:48:28,650 --> 00:48:29,849
I wouldn't hold
your breath, honey.
825
00:48:29,851 --> 00:48:32,718
Why?
826
00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:35,387
It doesn't matter. Nancy,
you can't be the final girl.
827
00:48:35,389 --> 00:48:37,555
It's not in your DNA,
or whatever.
828
00:48:37,557 --> 00:48:39,390
You're the shy girl
with the clipboard and the guitar.
829
00:48:39,392 --> 00:48:40,491
You get laid and then you die.
830
00:48:40,493 --> 00:48:41,892
You're just part
of the body count.
831
00:48:41,894 --> 00:48:43,134
No offense.
832
00:48:48,532 --> 00:48:49,965
That came out wrong.
833
00:48:52,101 --> 00:48:54,001
Thanks a lot.
Max.
834
00:48:55,570 --> 00:48:57,130
I was just trying to help.
835
00:49:07,246 --> 00:49:08,246
Nancy?
836
00:49:13,852 --> 00:49:15,485
Am I really gonna die?
837
00:49:19,689 --> 00:49:21,524
Yeah.
838
00:49:21,526 --> 00:49:24,459
So, I guess I never grow up,
839
00:49:26,295 --> 00:49:28,462
or fall in love or have kids.
840
00:49:30,298 --> 00:49:33,500
I had this dream that
when I graduated college,
841
00:49:33,502 --> 00:49:35,635
I would meet a guy.
842
00:49:36,870 --> 00:49:39,738
And we'd have
a baby. A girl.
843
00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:43,741
And if she ever needed me,
I would do anything for her.
844
00:49:43,743 --> 00:49:44,743
Anything.
845
00:49:48,912 --> 00:49:51,312
I would've made
a really great mom.
846
00:49:53,915 --> 00:49:55,382
The best.
847
00:49:59,986 --> 00:50:01,853
God, this totally sucks!
848
00:50:01,855 --> 00:50:03,754
It's so bogus!
849
00:50:03,756 --> 00:50:05,722
I should have known
something was up with this place.
850
00:50:05,724 --> 00:50:07,090
I mean, think about it.
851
00:50:07,092 --> 00:50:10,372
What the hell kind of summer camp
has waterbeds?
852
00:50:19,201 --> 00:50:21,368
What do we do now?
853
00:50:26,506 --> 00:50:27,606
We fight.
854
00:50:29,241 --> 00:50:32,610
All right, guys.
No more junior varsity bullshit.
855
00:50:32,612 --> 00:50:34,745
We gotta lead with
a pro-style offense.
856
00:50:34,747 --> 00:50:36,546
Something Billy
won't see coming.
857
00:50:36,548 --> 00:50:38,714
We have to use everything
we have at our disposal.
858
00:50:38,716 --> 00:50:40,415
I was thinking the best opportunity
for an ambush
859
00:50:40,417 --> 00:50:42,583
would be the slumber party,
with a few tweaks.
860
00:50:42,585 --> 00:50:44,017
That means it's
just a question of
861
00:50:44,019 --> 00:50:45,485
luring him here at
just the right time.
862
00:50:45,487 --> 00:50:46,586
How are we going to do that?
863
00:50:46,588 --> 00:50:47,828
I think I have an idea.
864
00:50:49,956 --> 00:50:51,489
"Operation
Booby Trap?"
865
00:50:51,491 --> 00:50:54,625
Yup. And Tina's
going to be the bait.
866
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:44,640
Vicki, are you crying?
867
00:51:45,808 --> 00:51:47,074
I'm fine.
868
00:51:52,579 --> 00:51:55,714
Gertie, I'm sorry for
that time in junior high
869
00:51:55,716 --> 00:51:58,116
when I told everyone
to start calling you "Ba-chunk-adunk."
870
00:51:58,118 --> 00:52:00,284
And then I covered
your locker in bacon.
871
00:52:00,286 --> 00:52:02,686
That was so crappy.
872
00:52:02,688 --> 00:52:04,454
And I'm so sorry.
873
00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:07,022
I'm such a bad person.
874
00:52:07,024 --> 00:52:08,790
You're not. It's okay.
875
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:10,625
If it makes you feel better,
876
00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:12,593
last summer, I'm the one
who spread the rumor
877
00:52:12,595 --> 00:52:13,760
that said you had
a weird disease
878
00:52:13,762 --> 00:52:15,842
where you're
always on your period.
879
00:52:15,996 --> 00:52:17,696
Wow. That's evil.
880
00:52:17,698 --> 00:52:18,796
Thank you.
881
00:52:21,599 --> 00:52:24,834
Hey, Max, if I'm
going to die tonight,
882
00:52:24,836 --> 00:52:26,468
then I don't want to die
without telling you
883
00:52:26,470 --> 00:52:31,806
that when your mom died,
you shut down completely.
884
00:52:33,074 --> 00:52:34,774
And just cut me
out of your life.
885
00:52:36,443 --> 00:52:38,844
And I missed you.
I missed our friendship.
886
00:52:40,213 --> 00:52:42,247
And then you two
became best friends
887
00:52:42,249 --> 00:52:44,549
and, I don't know,
I got jealous.
888
00:52:44,551 --> 00:52:46,851
And so, I did
some really bad things
889
00:52:46,853 --> 00:52:48,686
and I'm not proud of them.
890
00:52:48,688 --> 00:52:51,188
Vicki.
No, no, no, just let me finish, okay.
891
00:52:51,190 --> 00:52:53,557
I know that I've become a...
892
00:52:53,559 --> 00:52:54,891
A bitch?
893
00:52:54,893 --> 00:52:56,626
Yes, thank you.
894
00:52:56,628 --> 00:53:01,163
But the thing is, Max,
I've always looked up to you
895
00:53:01,165 --> 00:53:03,165
because you were
always the brave one.
896
00:53:04,433 --> 00:53:06,199
So, be brave again.
897
00:53:08,168 --> 00:53:10,248
Vicki, you don't have to die.
898
00:53:11,937 --> 00:53:13,904
I'm the mean girl in
the '80s horror movie.
899
00:53:13,906 --> 00:53:16,339
And we're past the mid-point,
so, you know,
900
00:53:18,742 --> 00:53:20,709
I'd say that I've
overstayed my welcome.
901
00:53:33,119 --> 00:53:35,653
Ooh!
902
00:53:35,655 --> 00:53:38,789
Oh, no, no, no!
Uh-uh. No. No, Tina.
903
00:53:38,791 --> 00:53:41,958
Tina, hey. Yeah. No.
904
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,760
You know not to take off
any of your clothes until we say so, right?
905
00:53:45,361 --> 00:53:48,596
Yeah? No sex.
906
00:53:48,598 --> 00:53:50,364
How could anyone think about sex
907
00:53:50,366 --> 00:53:52,486
when I have this rad gadget?
908
00:53:52,566 --> 00:53:53,866
What is this thing, anyway?
909
00:53:53,868 --> 00:53:54,988
It's a phone.
910
00:53:58,370 --> 00:54:00,337
Yeah. Please,
I'm not that gullible.
911
00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:04,440
Um, hello, operator? Yes,
I'm trying to make a call
912
00:54:04,442 --> 00:54:05,774
but I can't
913
00:54:05,776 --> 00:54:07,936
because my phone's
not plugged into anything.
914
00:54:09,210 --> 00:54:10,443
Oh, my God, kill me.
915
00:54:10,445 --> 00:54:12,378
Guys, it's almost time.
Let's get ready.
916
00:54:12,380 --> 00:54:13,512
Okay.
917
00:54:17,816 --> 00:54:18,816
How you holding up?
918
00:54:19,917 --> 00:54:22,250
Been better.
How about you?
919
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:26,954
I'm really scared.
920
00:54:27,956 --> 00:54:29,456
Uh...
921
00:54:29,458 --> 00:54:30,857
Uh, are the arrows ready?
922
00:54:31,825 --> 00:54:34,193
Yeah, I'm on it.
923
00:54:43,367 --> 00:54:44,767
"Adderall."
924
00:54:52,841 --> 00:54:55,242
God, your parents must be
freaking out right now.
925
00:54:55,244 --> 00:54:56,876
You've been gone for hours.
926
00:54:56,878 --> 00:54:59,278
They must be
so worried about you.
927
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:00,779
Not really.
928
00:55:00,781 --> 00:55:03,681
I never knew my dad.
And my mom's away.
929
00:55:06,885 --> 00:55:07,885
What's she like?
930
00:55:09,254 --> 00:55:13,723
She, uh... She was so
beautiful and funny.
931
00:55:16,660 --> 00:55:18,580
She never knew
how awesome she was.
932
00:55:19,028 --> 00:55:20,328
How'd she die?
933
00:55:21,530 --> 00:55:23,330
I never said she died.
You said "was."
934
00:55:23,332 --> 00:55:26,366
So, I just figured.
935
00:55:26,368 --> 00:55:27,888
It's okay. You don't
have to tell me.
936
00:55:29,502 --> 00:55:32,003
Here, I want you to have this.
937
00:55:36,508 --> 00:55:39,509
It's a friendship bracelet.
So, you don't forget me.
938
00:55:40,777 --> 00:55:42,977
How could I ever forget you?
939
00:55:45,146 --> 00:55:47,547
You know, if this all works out,
940
00:55:47,549 --> 00:55:49,382
I'm really gonna miss you.
941
00:55:49,384 --> 00:55:50,716
When you go home, I mean.
942
00:55:52,251 --> 00:55:54,852
Oh, God, I sound totally molded.
943
00:55:54,854 --> 00:55:56,753
I know we just met,
it's silly for me to say that.
944
00:55:56,755 --> 00:55:59,355
It's just...
I guess it's like,
945
00:55:59,357 --> 00:56:01,023
who am I going to
talk to after you leave?
946
00:56:01,025 --> 00:56:02,858
You know? Tina?
947
00:56:04,227 --> 00:56:05,460
She's not very smart.
948
00:56:06,963 --> 00:56:09,931
Maybe you don't have to.
I don't?
949
00:56:09,933 --> 00:56:11,499
I mean, I carpool
with her to camp,
950
00:56:11,501 --> 00:56:13,133
it's kind of inevitable.
951
00:56:13,135 --> 00:56:16,069
No, I mean, maybe you
don't have to stay here.
952
00:56:16,071 --> 00:56:18,571
Look, I know in the movie,
you're supposed to die,
953
00:56:18,573 --> 00:56:20,173
but that doesn't mean
you have to, right?
954
00:56:20,874 --> 00:56:22,341
Right.
955
00:56:22,343 --> 00:56:24,242
And if you don't die,
956
00:56:24,244 --> 00:56:25,676
then that means you'll be around at
the end of the movie,
957
00:56:25,678 --> 00:56:26,843
when we leave.
958
00:56:27,244 --> 00:56:29,144
Right.
959
00:56:29,146 --> 00:56:32,580
So, then who's to say
you can't just come home with me?
960
00:56:33,815 --> 00:56:34,848
Oh, my God.
961
00:56:36,817 --> 00:56:38,737
Where's home?
The Valley.
962
00:56:39,351 --> 00:56:40,484
The Valley.
963
00:56:42,387 --> 00:56:43,919
I don't know, Max, I don't know.
964
00:56:43,921 --> 00:56:46,121
You're just... You're kind of
blowing my mind right now.
965
00:56:46,123 --> 00:56:47,589
No, think about it!
966
00:56:48,691 --> 00:56:50,692
If you come home with me,
967
00:56:50,694 --> 00:56:52,593
you can be whoever you want.
968
00:56:52,595 --> 00:56:53,927
You don't have to be
the shy girl
969
00:56:53,929 --> 00:56:55,762
with the clipboard
and the guitar.
970
00:56:55,764 --> 00:56:57,764
You could be...
I could, like, go to college.
971
00:56:57,766 --> 00:56:59,599
And drive a convertible.
Right. Totally!
972
00:56:59,601 --> 00:57:01,500
An go shopping at the mall.
973
00:57:01,502 --> 00:57:02,601
Actually, people
don't really shop
974
00:57:02,603 --> 00:57:03,935
at malls anymore.
They shop online.
975
00:57:03,937 --> 00:57:04,937
What's online?
976
00:57:05,771 --> 00:57:08,139
Never mind, I made that up.
Just keep going!
977
00:57:08,141 --> 00:57:11,809
Okay! I wanna shop online
and I wanna start over.
978
00:57:11,811 --> 00:57:14,711
You know, I could be
different in the Valley.
979
00:57:27,791 --> 00:57:29,558
What if I don't make it, Max?
980
00:57:32,595 --> 00:57:34,028
This time, you will.
981
00:57:35,030 --> 00:57:36,030
Hey, guys.
982
00:57:38,233 --> 00:57:40,667
Hi. So sorry
to interrupt,
983
00:57:40,669 --> 00:57:42,950
but, um, we have
a bit of a situation.
984
00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:51,408
Tina, are you...
I'm great! I'm amazing!
985
00:57:51,410 --> 00:57:53,343
She ate your Adderall?
986
00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:55,211
Tina, hey. Eyes here.
987
00:57:55,712 --> 00:57:56,712
Hmm.
988
00:57:57,346 --> 00:57:58,746
Yes.
989
00:57:58,748 --> 00:58:01,682
How many of my, um,
Tic Tacs did you have?
990
00:58:01,684 --> 00:58:05,052
They're not Tic Tacs!
And I had, um, three.
991
00:58:05,054 --> 00:58:07,354
No, 10 or 30!
992
00:58:07,356 --> 00:58:09,589
It was 30!
Maybe we need to re-strategize.
993
00:58:09,591 --> 00:58:12,091
No, no, no.
I got this. I got this.
994
00:58:12,425 --> 00:58:13,758
Tina.
995
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,126
Are you sure you can...
996
00:58:15,128 --> 00:58:18,062
Look, man, I got
this, all right?
997
00:58:18,064 --> 00:58:21,197
I got this!
I so got this.
998
00:58:22,399 --> 00:58:23,732
She'll be fine.
999
00:58:23,734 --> 00:58:25,500
I really think
she's more focused now.
1000
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,335
Right, Tina?
Yes!
1001
00:58:30,705 --> 00:58:32,972
Guys. Let's start.
1002
00:58:38,344 --> 00:58:41,679
All right, guys.
This is it. Sound off. Ready.
1003
00:58:42,814 --> 00:58:44,648
Ready! Ready! Ready!
1004
00:58:44,650 --> 00:58:45,882
Totem pole?
1005
00:58:45,884 --> 00:58:47,083
Ready!
1006
00:58:47,085 --> 00:58:48,918
Stereo?
Ready.
1007
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:50,486
- Arrows?
- Ready!
1008
00:58:53,223 --> 00:58:56,191
All right then, Nancy,
unleash the beast.
1009
01:00:03,276 --> 01:00:05,176
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's coming.
He's coming!
1010
01:00:05,178 --> 01:00:07,478
He's coming!
Not yet. Wait to move!
1011
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,446
No, no! He's so close!
1012
01:00:12,683 --> 01:00:13,983
Tina!
1013
01:00:15,685 --> 01:00:17,085
Cut the rope!
1014
01:00:27,860 --> 01:00:29,620
Gertie.
Yeah?
1015
01:00:30,495 --> 01:00:31,575
I love you.
1016
01:00:32,529 --> 01:00:33,629
Oh, screw it.
1017
01:01:00,689 --> 01:01:03,657
Everybody in the kitchen!
Now! Now! Go now!
1018
01:01:08,762 --> 01:01:11,096
It's okay.
It's gonna be fine.
1019
01:01:14,267 --> 01:01:16,033
Gertie, come on.
Hurry up!
1020
01:01:21,105 --> 01:01:22,171
Go!
1021
01:01:40,323 --> 01:01:41,822
Go, go, go! Go!
1022
01:01:44,458 --> 01:01:45,458
Come on, Nancy. Come on.
1023
01:01:54,131 --> 01:01:55,131
Shit!
1024
01:01:55,799 --> 01:01:56,832
It's stuck!
1025
01:02:04,673 --> 01:02:06,913
We're stuck!
We're stuck!
1026
01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:09,174
No!
1027
01:02:20,285 --> 01:02:21,818
Max, it's okay.
1028
01:02:23,487 --> 01:02:24,487
Just go.
1029
01:02:29,758 --> 01:02:31,125
Go.
1030
01:03:02,820 --> 01:03:08,223
What's happening?
1031
01:03:10,559 --> 01:03:14,895
It's slow motion.
1032
01:04:15,956 --> 01:04:19,758
Jump!
1033
01:04:33,570 --> 01:04:36,171
Flashback!
Flashback! Flashback! What?
1034
01:04:36,173 --> 01:04:37,906
Just say the words!
What words?
1035
01:04:37,908 --> 01:04:39,974
Billy Murphy was a kid
who went to camp here years ago.
1036
01:04:39,976 --> 01:04:42,577
Tell me the
story again! Hurry!
1037
01:04:42,579 --> 01:04:44,111
He was always picked on
for being different, ugly.
1038
01:04:44,113 --> 01:04:45,612
Keep going.
Don't stop!
1039
01:04:45,614 --> 01:04:47,347
And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,
1040
01:04:47,349 --> 01:04:49,349
the kids decided to play
a little prank on him.
1041
01:04:56,556 --> 01:04:58,022
Where the hell are we?
1042
01:04:58,024 --> 01:04:59,824
A flashback!
A flashback!
1043
01:05:00,591 --> 01:05:02,471
Does that mean we're safe?
1044
01:05:15,368 --> 01:05:17,735
Holy crap, this thing is heavy.
1045
01:05:20,037 --> 01:05:22,004
Guys, where's Billy?
1046
01:05:22,006 --> 01:05:23,605
Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,
1047
01:05:23,607 --> 01:05:25,473
thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.
1048
01:05:25,475 --> 01:05:26,841
Oh, my God, that's me!
1049
01:05:26,843 --> 01:05:28,142
Ugh.
1050
01:05:28,144 --> 01:05:31,078
That's what I sound like?
1051
01:05:36,550 --> 01:05:38,484
- Look at him run!
- Wait.
1052
01:05:38,486 --> 01:05:39,651
Where's Billy going?
1053
01:05:40,519 --> 01:05:41,599
Wait.
1054
01:05:56,734 --> 01:05:58,367
I don't know that part of camp.
1055
01:05:58,369 --> 01:05:59,769
I've never seen
that cabin before.
1056
01:06:05,274 --> 01:06:07,507
Shit! End the
flashback! End it!
1057
01:06:07,509 --> 01:06:09,075
Just skip to the end!
1058
01:06:09,077 --> 01:06:10,709
Legend has it Billy
still lives in these woods
1059
01:06:10,711 --> 01:06:12,544
waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,
1060
01:06:12,546 --> 01:06:14,386
waiting to get
revenge again and again.
1061
01:06:17,683 --> 01:06:19,216
Did we leave him there?
1062
01:06:19,218 --> 01:06:22,578
I wouldn't count on it.
Let's move.
1063
01:06:36,731 --> 01:06:37,931
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
1064
01:06:38,098 --> 01:06:39,298
Yeah, I'm fine.
1065
01:06:39,300 --> 01:06:40,799
Max!
1066
01:06:40,801 --> 01:06:43,234
Max!
No!
1067
01:06:43,236 --> 01:06:44,902
Let me go! Let me go!
1068
01:06:44,904 --> 01:06:46,603
She's gone, Max.
No! She's alive! She's...
1069
01:06:46,605 --> 01:06:48,171
Max, she's gone.
1070
01:06:49,873 --> 01:06:51,240
No. She's not.
1071
01:06:56,611 --> 01:06:57,611
Come on.
1072
01:07:22,866 --> 01:07:25,100
Keep pressure on it.
Don't move, I'll be back.
1073
01:07:25,734 --> 01:07:27,067
Max, she's dead.
1074
01:07:29,637 --> 01:07:32,271
She's supposed to die,
just like the rest of them.
1075
01:07:32,273 --> 01:07:33,939
No, she's lived
this far into the movie,
1076
01:07:33,941 --> 01:07:35,106
longer than she ever has before.
1077
01:07:35,108 --> 01:07:36,474
She's not real.
1078
01:07:38,009 --> 01:07:39,009
None of this is real.
1079
01:07:39,011 --> 01:07:40,076
Yes, she is!
1080
01:07:40,078 --> 01:07:41,318
Max, wait.
1081
01:07:45,414 --> 01:07:47,774
I don't wanna die alone.
1082
01:07:52,953 --> 01:07:55,620
Listen to me.
You're not gonna die.
1083
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:58,322
Nobody else is dying tonight.
1084
01:08:02,260 --> 01:08:04,541
I know exactly where
he's taken her.
1085
01:09:35,811 --> 01:09:37,144
Hey, Nancy.
1086
01:09:40,647 --> 01:09:42,614
Max? Max!
1087
01:09:53,290 --> 01:09:54,723
He was right there.
1088
01:10:31,487 --> 01:10:32,487
No!
1089
01:10:43,996 --> 01:10:44,996
Get up!
1090
01:10:47,265 --> 01:10:48,945
Come on, let's get out of here.
1091
01:10:50,033 --> 01:10:51,466
Come on, come on.
1092
01:11:03,678 --> 01:11:05,078
Chris.
1093
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,479
Max, over here.
1094
01:11:07,714 --> 01:11:09,214
Sit down.
1095
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,520
Am I dying?
1096
01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:19,421
No. I know how to fix it.
1097
01:11:20,523 --> 01:11:22,223
You're not the
final girl yet, Max.
1098
01:11:22,225 --> 01:11:24,391
Because of me.
I'm still alive.
1099
01:11:25,292 --> 01:11:26,792
No.
Yes.
1100
01:11:26,794 --> 01:11:30,262
No! I'm already dying,
so you could survive!
1101
01:11:30,264 --> 01:11:32,130
You can be the final girl.
1102
01:11:32,132 --> 01:11:35,099
No, Max. No.
1103
01:11:35,101 --> 01:11:37,968
That's not who
I'm supposed to be, remember?
1104
01:11:37,970 --> 01:11:40,837
I'm just the shy girl
with the clipboard and the guitar.
1105
01:11:40,839 --> 01:11:43,120
Yeah, but you wanted
to change that.
1106
01:11:43,406 --> 01:11:45,440
Honey, let me do this.
1107
01:11:45,908 --> 01:11:47,808
No.
1108
01:11:47,810 --> 01:11:51,344
Max, I'm not afraid.
1109
01:11:54,614 --> 01:11:56,348
I wanted to save you.
1110
01:11:57,383 --> 01:12:00,651
Oh, Max, you did.
1111
01:12:01,886 --> 01:12:04,120
You did, Max.
1112
01:12:04,122 --> 01:12:07,288
Just by letting me
be here with you.
1113
01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:12,292
I've never felt more real
or more alive ever before.
1114
01:12:12,294 --> 01:12:13,861
No.
1115
01:12:13,863 --> 01:12:16,963
No, Mom, you belong
at home, with me.
1116
01:12:18,632 --> 01:12:22,801
Look, your name is Amanda Cartwright,
and you live in Encino,
1117
01:12:22,803 --> 01:12:25,904
and you love Bette Davis Eyes
and Mel's Diner.
1118
01:12:25,906 --> 01:12:29,641
And you wanted to be
the biggest movie star,
1119
01:12:29,643 --> 01:12:31,924
more than anything in the world.
1120
01:12:34,646 --> 01:12:35,966
And you had a daughter.
1121
01:12:39,183 --> 01:12:40,483
You have a daughter.
1122
01:12:45,389 --> 01:12:47,629
I'm not going back without you.
1123
01:12:50,791 --> 01:12:53,191
I don't wanna lose you again.
1124
01:12:53,726 --> 01:12:54,826
Max.
1125
01:12:57,095 --> 01:13:01,564
I'm not lost.
I'm right here, all right?
1126
01:13:01,566 --> 01:13:03,599
You'll always know
where to find me, okay?
1127
01:13:05,134 --> 01:13:06,667
But you have to let me go.
1128
01:13:08,169 --> 01:13:09,636
You have to let me go.
1129
01:13:33,190 --> 01:13:34,523
Bye, Max.
1130
01:13:44,166 --> 01:13:45,432
I love you.
1131
01:13:50,070 --> 01:13:51,603
That's what
I never got to tell her.
1132
01:13:53,072 --> 01:13:54,138
Don't worry.
1133
01:13:55,507 --> 01:13:58,542
Wherever she is, she knows.
1134
01:14:00,077 --> 01:14:02,077
You were right about
one thing, you know?
1135
01:14:02,679 --> 01:14:03,745
What?
1136
01:14:04,646 --> 01:14:06,647
I'm a movie star.
1137
01:16:49,115 --> 01:16:51,075
You just fucked
with the wrong virgin.
1138
01:18:57,129 --> 01:18:58,129
It's over.
1139
01:19:30,761 --> 01:19:32,061
What is happening?
1140
01:19:32,063 --> 01:19:33,223
I don't know.
1141
01:19:40,603 --> 01:19:41,768
Hold on tight!
1142
01:20:19,434 --> 01:20:22,035
This food is so disgusting.
1143
01:20:22,037 --> 01:20:23,536
Speak for yourself, girl.
1144
01:20:23,538 --> 01:20:26,005
This tapioca pudding
is incredible!
1145
01:20:26,007 --> 01:20:28,774
You've had like 15 of those in
the last 30 minutes.
1146
01:20:28,776 --> 01:20:31,143
I counted them, 15!
1147
01:20:31,145 --> 01:20:33,545
Little known fact,
I can't stand tapioca pudding.
1148
01:20:33,547 --> 01:20:35,013
Then why
did you eat 30 of them?
1149
01:20:35,015 --> 01:20:36,775
Let me eat my feelings in peace.
1150
01:20:37,549 --> 01:20:38,749
Max!
Hey!
1151
01:20:39,650 --> 01:20:40,782
You're awake!
1152
01:20:49,089 --> 01:20:50,922
When you get a second,
try the pudding.
1153
01:20:53,158 --> 01:20:54,725
Wait, where are we?
1154
01:20:54,727 --> 01:20:56,827
We're home.
1155
01:21:00,364 --> 01:21:01,630
But was it a dream or...
1156
01:21:01,632 --> 01:21:03,164
No, not at all!
1157
01:21:03,166 --> 01:21:05,099
Remember?
Ugh.
1158
01:21:05,101 --> 01:21:07,501
That is a machete wound,
1159
01:21:07,503 --> 01:21:09,970
poorly stitched
by an incompetent doctor.
1160
01:21:09,972 --> 01:21:11,871
I'm actually more
concerned about tetanus
1161
01:21:11,873 --> 01:21:13,873
because the machete
had a bit of rust on it,
1162
01:21:13,875 --> 01:21:16,809
and I did not see
the doctor give me a shot.
1163
01:21:16,811 --> 01:21:20,946
Duncan, I love you
and I'm so happy you survived,
1164
01:21:20,948 --> 01:21:22,447
but do you hear yourself
when you say things? God.
1165
01:21:22,449 --> 01:21:23,614
Do you hear the words
in your head first?
1166
01:21:23,616 --> 01:21:25,449
And she's back.
1167
01:21:25,451 --> 01:21:27,050
I feel like
the jock at high school
1168
01:21:27,052 --> 01:21:29,333
just gave me his promise ring.
1169
01:21:50,138 --> 01:21:52,138
Doctor, stop.
Oh, come on.
1170
01:21:53,208 --> 01:21:54,841
My shift's almost over.
1171
01:21:54,843 --> 01:21:56,509
I have to do my rounds.
1172
01:21:56,511 --> 01:21:58,511
And what beautiful
rounds they are.
1173
01:21:59,679 --> 01:22:01,246
Oh, my God.
Of course.
1174
01:22:05,350 --> 01:22:07,250
Of course, what?
1175
01:22:15,458 --> 01:22:16,458
The sequel!
1176
01:22:20,995 --> 01:22:22,362
This is so great!
1177
01:22:22,364 --> 01:22:25,724
The sequel is so much cooler
than the original.
1178
01:22:31,603 --> 01:22:32,869
Mark.
1179
01:22:34,339 --> 01:22:36,138
Let me just wipe my sweat off
with this tampon.
1180
01:22:36,140 --> 01:22:38,139
Blooper!
1181
01:22:40,842 --> 01:22:44,411
How about you go suck a turd?
1182
01:22:44,413 --> 01:22:47,147
That's perfect,
so perfectly bad.
1183
01:22:47,149 --> 01:22:51,283
Like that's Bad.
Michael Jackson Bad?
That guy's talented.
1184
01:22:51,285 --> 01:22:52,845
King of Pop.
Yeah.
1185
01:22:55,687 --> 01:22:57,521
Wasn't expecting that.
1186
01:23:06,028 --> 01:23:07,728
No!
Shit.
1187
01:23:07,730 --> 01:23:08,730
It's broken!
1188
01:23:11,432 --> 01:23:14,567
Oh, God, you killed Duncan.
You smell great, by the way.
1189
01:23:15,235 --> 01:23:17,135
Oh, you killed him!
1190
01:23:17,137 --> 01:23:18,436
I promise I won't tell the cops
1191
01:23:18,438 --> 01:23:19,438
if we just go have sex!
1192
01:23:19,837 --> 01:23:21,504
Right now! Now!
1193
01:23:27,276 --> 01:23:28,309
I'm not even scared.
1194
01:23:32,714 --> 01:23:33,747
Oh, God, Jesus.
1195
01:23:34,949 --> 01:23:36,115
Oh.
Chris.
1196
01:23:36,117 --> 01:23:37,783
One more time!
1197
01:23:39,851 --> 01:23:41,384
I've only had sex one time
1198
01:23:41,386 --> 01:23:43,152
and it was with
my cousin Heather!
1199
01:23:43,154 --> 01:23:45,521
Honestly, that
wasn't your fault,
1200
01:23:45,523 --> 01:23:48,123
and I won't tell the cops
if we have sex.
1201
01:23:49,558 --> 01:23:50,558
Let's
1202
01:23:54,761 --> 01:23:57,662
Look, Chris, you and I
don't know each other well.
1203
01:23:57,664 --> 01:23:59,630
So, lose the familiarity.
1204
01:24:01,333 --> 01:24:03,013
What a rude little
girl you're being.
1205
01:24:04,701 --> 01:24:07,735
She's not like this at home.
She's just showing off.
1206
01:24:09,003 --> 01:24:10,870
You guys have to learn
how to not break.
1207
01:24:10,872 --> 01:24:13,839
I'm scared.
1208
01:24:13,841 --> 01:24:15,941
Oh, I get it, because
you've only had sex with one person
1209
01:24:15,943 --> 01:24:19,277
and I'm freaking
double-digits slayer over here.
1210
01:24:19,279 --> 01:24:20,879
You probably don't
even know this move.
1211
01:24:26,450 --> 01:24:28,330
I feel like I'm
walking out like Kramer.
1212
01:24:29,585 --> 01:24:30,585
Jerry.
1213
01:24:33,587 --> 01:24:37,122
Well, all my bones are broken
except for the one.
1214
01:24:37,124 --> 01:24:39,457
I'm actually
talking about this arm.
1215
01:24:39,459 --> 01:24:41,725
My penis is severely injured.
1216
01:24:41,727 --> 01:24:44,047
It's like split in
three different parts.
1217
01:24:52,434 --> 01:24:54,101
Okay, okay, people are dying.
1218
01:24:54,103 --> 01:24:55,936
Oh, my God!
1219
01:24:57,704 --> 01:24:59,571
It's not "Ew."
1220
01:24:59,573 --> 01:25:01,139
It's not "Ew."
1221
01:25:03,108 --> 01:25:05,308
Too sexy?
Was it too sexy?
1222
01:25:05,576 --> 01:25:07,176
Impossible.
1223
01:25:07,178 --> 01:25:08,810
Ever since
I was a little boy,
1224
01:25:08,812 --> 01:25:10,812
I've dreamed of being
the final girl.
1225
01:25:14,282 --> 01:25:17,183
I want you to come study.
1226
01:25:21,219 --> 01:25:22,459
One more time.
1227
01:25:24,822 --> 01:25:28,490
Well, Vicki, you're a virgin.
No, you're not, you're a slut.
1228
01:25:31,427 --> 01:25:33,326
He had, like,
the weird mustache.
1229
01:25:37,497 --> 01:25:38,630
Yeah, right!
1230
01:25:38,632 --> 01:25:41,032
A phone that I can
put in my mouth?
1231
01:25:44,934 --> 01:25:46,667
Oh!
1232
01:25:48,603 --> 01:25:49,843
From the movie.
1233
01:25:49,870 --> 01:25:51,202
Oh, Jesus!
1234
01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:56,639
Ow!
1235
01:26:01,510 --> 01:26:03,844
All right, see you in there.
1236
01:26:11,717 --> 01:26:12,797
That's a cut!
86949
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