Original subtitles

My mom says camping trips are an important form of experience.

Uh, I don't know... Everything seems so... wild.

- You think we'll be okay? - Relax, you wimp!

You think they'd let just any idiot be our camp counselor?

Show me the honey!

Who's up for a hike?

Yep. We're dead.

- Hicking is great exercise - You can use it under thighs

- Nature is the place to be - Look out for that mapple tree

- Hiking is my greatest thrill - That's because you're an imbecile

Hmm. I'm beginning to sense some hostility.

We've been hiking for 3.7 hours, and I think we're lost.

Yeah. No offense, Captain Klutz, but we've signed up for nature camp, not boot camp.

- Do you have any idea where we're going?

I sure do. I always leave my...

tag to mark were I've been, see?

That's a whole lot of ugly.

Ohh, I thought this was supposed to build confidence.

Son, you just earned yourself a merit badge for whining.

Actually sir, that's poison oak.

Oh Claire, you're adorable when you undermine my authority.

But if that was poison oak, don't you think I'd be very...

Hey guys! Over here!

- That's a pond! - Let's go fishing!

I think it's wearing off...

I got one! I got one! I'm actually having a good time.

- No, you kids are doing it the hard way. - And... it's over.

To catch a fish, you must become the fish.

Think like a fish. Move like a fish.

Ouch.

Oh, you poor thing. I feel terrible for you.

- Ouch, why, thank you, Claire. - I was talking to the fish.

- I'm hungry! - Me too! - Yes! - Seriously!

Well, the smores are ready!

Bon appetit.

What kind of smore is this?

- Mine taste like crud. - Mine taste like feet.

- Wanna trade? - At least yours didn't run away.

So long, suckers!

Okay. Time for a ghost story.

And then, the little sloth heard a scratch at the front of his cave.

And when he got up to see what the noise was...

What do you think he saw?

- The end of this lame story? - No.

I saw a vicious horrible blood thirsty monster.

Monsters are proved manifestations of subconscious fear.

You are so much fun to take on a camping trip.

Anywho, this monster had long jagged claws.

And razorsharp teeth!

And his favorite thing to eat... was...

children!

Well Sidney, you certainly paint the vivid...

- Good morning, kids. Sleep well? - No.

Ow what's the matter? Did I scare you with my story?

- You scared us with you. - You're gonna get us killed out here, dude!

- We'll starve to death! - Or you'll lead us off a cliff!

Well that's just ridiculous!

I am the master of the woods. I am mother nature's son.

I wouldn't even hurt a flower.

C'mon you... beautiful... miracle!

You know what happened? Global warming.

It's an inconvenient truth. I know.

- If you love the birds and bees - If you love the birds and bees

- Keep this sucker away from trees - Keep this sucker away from trees

Okay guys. Very funny.

Why are you even mad? I made a nice canyon.

In fact it's a grand canyon. Aaah, really grand canyon.

I just wish I could think of a name for it.

Daddy, who made the Grand Canyon?

Well son, only nature could make something this beautiful.

Nature, or a being of infinite wisdom.