All language subtitles for Here.and.Now.2018.S01E05.From.Sun.Up.to.Sun.Down.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Henry.

They make my work a joke
on the news!

And you're just
supposed to do nothing?

All we need is money.

- What about Steve Benjamin?
- Right! He's from Portland.

A new patient had a dream
about my mother.

I read about porous mind.

Think that's possible?

I don't know but I'd like
to take a look at your game.

I'll send you a link.

Anything happen
while you were in jail?

Wider.

Duc, this is Carmen.

- Carmen is an intuitive.
- You mean, like a psychic?

Uh... no.

Here gimme a... shout sometime.

The theme of the video
is "My Portland."

I'll assign you partners.

Well, hello there.

What is that?

Looks like
it came off something.

- It's a sex toy.
- Oh!

- It's for us.
- Who else?

Mijo?

Mom!

Ramon! You're safe.

Did you recognize
this woman?

No, I've...
never seen her before.

But she called me mijo,
so I guess...

Mijo!

She was my mother.

My biological mother.

"Mijo"? Yeah, it... it...
it means "my son."

But then, uh,
these four gashes...

appeared on her cheek,
right here, like this,

like... like in my dream
about your mother

when... when she used her fingernails
to make the four gashes in her face.

You never told me that.

Of course I did, Fred.

Didn't I?

I totally did. I totally
did, because that was

the fucking freakiest part
of the whole fucking dream.

It's 11:11, the four
gashes in her face.

That's 11:11.
Fuck me.

Fuck me.

And what about my
mother in your dream?

Do you remember anything else she might
have told you besides "Dareh miyad"?

No, Fred, I...
I don't remember, okay?

So maybe... maybe this is the part
where you give me the fucking drugs?

Huh?
Yes, right.

Wh-wh-what is it
that you're giving me?

What are you giving me?
Uh...

I, uh...

I'm gonna prescribe a low dose of
Seroquel, it can help you sleep at night.

Are you still using weed?
Yeah.

No more fucking weed, Fred, all right?

Fucking make it stop!

Should we go in?
We're not supposed to go in.

I'm going in.

How about you fucking
help me make it stop, okay?

What's happening?
Nothing, I'm just fucking crazy!

It's all fucking good! I'm sorry.
You can't just walk in like this!

What are you prescribing him?
I can't share that with you.

- Seroquel. Yeah.
- Seroquel?

That's a sedating antipsychotic.

So we're diagnosing him now?

We are not doing
anything, Ms. Bayer,

and this is just
to help him sleep at night.

I think amisulpride
would be better.

No, I disagree.
I disagree,

and this interference
in his treatment has to stop.

His treatment is not working.
His treatment hasn't even started.

I just gave him
a prescription.

I am not going to wait
around for him to hurt himself.

Well, there's no indication he might.
Yet!

What the fuck
are we waiting for?

You are asking me
to rush diagnosis.

Yes. Yes, I am. Doctor, my... my
wife was a therapist for years.

She has...
All due respect,

a therapist
is not a doctor.

I told you this would happen
again, but you didn't listen.

Mom! I understand
you're all upset,

but please calm down.

Please don't be condescending to her.
Yes, please don't.

Mom, can we just please go?
Okay, baby. Just calm down.

I am calm! I just wanna
get the fuck out of here.

Okay, sweetie.

For fuck's sakes.

There has to be something
more that you can do.

Mr. Boatwright,
I just gave him medication.

Now we're gonna have
to wait and see if it works.

Anything more at this point
could be dangerous for him.

It's already dangerous.

Whatever this is,
he can't stop it.

We'll be in touch.

Oh, man.

- Are you gonna make new friends today?
- Uh-huh.

Mrs. Collins, hi!
Miss Lisa.

Hailey, say hello
to Miss Lisa.

Oh, somebody's
being shy today,

but I hope not too shy,
because we have a new student,

and, Hailey, I think you'd make
the best cubby-buddy for him.

Ooh! Would you
like to share your cubby?

You're just gonna love his mom.

Jamila!
Oh. Okay.

Jamila, this is who
I was telling you about.

This is Ashley
and her little peanut, Hailey.

Nice to meet you.
Hey, girl.

Okay, I gotta round up the troops.
I knew you two would hit it off.

She knew
we would hit it off.

So, um, your son...
Baldwin. Baldwin.

That is such a beautiful name.

Hey, Hailey,
say hi to Baldwin.

Oh, baby,
you need your lotion.

Uh, yes, we... we know.
We were running late today.

I got you, girl.

I make my own
shea butter blend...

a little jojoba, tarragon.

It is the only way
to moisturize.

Let's see.

All right.
There you go, baby.

Okay?
You should be fine now.

You want me
to come up with you?

No, that's okay.

Listen.

I know you're feeling
uncertain right now

about everything
that's going to happen,

but for the time being,
you're okay.

You need to live in that.

Don't worry about the future.

Just live in the here...
and the now.

I know, Dad.
I read your book.

I'm sorry.

No apologies.
No apologies.

I'm having lunch with your sister.
Do you wanna join us?

No.

I think I just wanna go
upstairs and crash,

work on my game or something.

Hey.

We're gonna figure
this out.

We're gonna fix this.

I promise. Hmm?

Hey. Morning.

Go-Gurt?

Are you fucking
kidding me?

So, why don't you go ahead
and tell me what I did wrong,

'cause I gotta be at work in 20 minutes,
and I don't see what the problem is.

You disappeared
for two days, Henry,

in the middle
of the night, all right?

No note, no phone call.
I forgot my phone, man.

You're lying to me. No, man. I didn't
know you were trying to get ahold of me.

It happened again, okay?

At my niece's birthday party,
I had some kind of freak-out,

and I fucking saw something.
Shit.

I fucking needed you there,
and you weren't there,

so fuck you,
man, all right?

Just strolling into my house,
eating my Go-Gurt,

and using my bed like
it's fucking nothing, man!

All right? What you did, it's just...
it's fucking bullshit.

What did I do, man? You fucking
left in the middle of the night.

Look, I'm s...
Oh God. All right.

I'm not used to telling
people where I'm going,

'cause no one's ever
fucking cared where I go,

so I'm sorry I'm not a fucking expert
at dealing with this fucking shit.

I'm not your shrink.
I never said I would be.

My friend, he relapsed, okay?
He texted me the other night,

because he was gonna fucking
hurt himself, and I had to go.

And that's the fucking truth.

Okay.
No, I, um, I get it.

I just wish you would've called.
Shit. I know.

I know.

Your friend
didn't have a phone?

I don't have
your number memorized.

Why?

Because nobody knows
anybody's number anymore.

That's not true. I...
What's mine?

See?

Yeah, I don't know why you just
don't spring for a new laptop.

I would've tossed it after
the first 10 times it crashed.

I know, I know.

I'm meeting Steven
Benjamin this afternoon.

The damn thing couldn't have picked
a worse time to freeze again.

Steven Benjamin? Wow.

If you get the job, tell him
you'll need a Macbook Pro 24.

- It's only... what, 30,000.
- Yes.

Yes, the first thing I'll do
is demand expensive gifts.

If the battery is dead again on
your father's laptop, I swear...

Sweetie, listen, I'm gonna have to
push our run/walk back half an hour.

I wanna Google some family
therapists we can go to.

I grew up around
mental disorder.

I'm not gonna wait till your
brother seriously hurts himself

for a doctor
to finally give a damn.

Mom. Mom.

Breathe. You're making
yourself crazy.

Um, I'll meet you at 12:30.

You know, constantly
rescheduling meetings

is a form of aggression.

That's great, sweetie.
I'll see you then.

Oh...

Hey, Dad.
Hey.

Ah. Call your old man out
of the blue to have lunch.

I feel so lucky.

I'm sorry I'm late.
I, uh...

I just needed to go around
the corner and pick up a few things.

What'd you get me?

Think you got
enough lotion there?

Yes, one for every purse.

I'm never gonna be caught
empty-handed again.

Hmm? Didn't have lotion
for Hailey this morning,

and one of the other moms
let me borrow hers,

and, uh, and it just made me...
I don't know... feel so ashamed.

Why did I feel like that?
Your mother's the therapist.

I can only dissect
the concept of shame

into a thousand subconcepts,

until we don't even know what
we're talking about anymore.

Yes. Thank you, but I will pass.

How is Ramon?

Ah. Well...

he started medication.

Hmm. Okay. That's
a good thing, right?

I hope so.
How are you?

How's life?
Um...

It's good.
It's good. I, uh, I...

I have everything I ever wanted.
I'm super lucky.

Okay. What's wrong
with this picture?

What's going on?

Sometimes I just feel so fucking
responsible for everything.

I love my husband.

I love my daughter.
I love my job, my family,

my whole life,
but I just...

it feels like
there's something...

Missing?

And I don't know what
anything means anymore.

Fuck.
I know that feeling.

Sometimes it feels like...

the world's falling apart,

like everything
is upside down.

Mm-hmm.

So much hatred going around.

It's gotta be worse
for you, right?

I'm overwhelmed,
and I'm a white guy.

Yeah, Dad, not every problem
I have has to do with being black.

No, I'm sorry. You know,
I grew up around total white privilege,

which I'm
grateful for, but...

sometimes I just really think
that that may raise a bigger deal

than if I'd grown up around
people who were actually like me.

We always tried our best to
introduce you to Liberian culture...

I don't need to read
about being African in a book.

When people see me,
they don't see a Liberian.

They see a black woman.

Ashley, every time
that we wanted to talk to you

about race... you refused to.
Yes?

Well, that's because it's not a thing
that you could possibly understand.

Oh my God, you never have to
worry about a cop thinking

that you're a fucking thief
because you have a fancy purse,

and you never, ever have to worry
about one just feeling you up,

because they know
that if you fight back,

then they'll just beat you up,
and they'll get away with it.

Is that what happened
to you in jail?

I...
You gotta report this cop.

Oh. That right there
is the difference

between the world that you
live in and the world I live in.

Ashley.

Oh.

I knew those shoes
would look great on you.

Here we are
in the luxurious Director Park.

It was opened in 2009,

and it is 0.46 acres.

Is that a lot?

Probably. I don't know
what an acre is.

I'm not fucking Amish.

It was named for...

some investor guy's
grandparents.

Are you just reading
that off your phone? No.

Over here, we
have the giant chess pieces,

and over there,
is the fountain.

We took my niece
here last summer.

When it's hot, kids can go there to...
frolic or...

I don't know...
shit in the water, I guess.

What the fuck
are you doing here?

My laundry.

What does it look like we're doing?
This stupid project.

Quit copying
our video, assholes.

This park was our idea.

Wait, it... it's literally
everyone's idea.

Fuck off.

She...

This is so stupid.

Cut. You know,
I thought we really captured

some lightning in a bottle there.
I was... riveted.

I am not putting my name
on something so obvious

that even fucking Kara Pruitt and
Becca Koats were able to think of it.

All we have to do is turn
in something, and we pass.

Okay, but I don't want it
to be lame, vanilla Portland.

Get a life,
Portland!

Okay, why don't
we go someplace

that nobody in our class
has ever been before,

like the vegan
strip club?

Yeah, 'cause everyone knows
strip clubs save

their platinum talent
for 11:00 a.m. on a Monday.

Okay, fine,
not there, but...

I don't know. This video is supposed to
be why Portland is meaningful for us.

I wanna show
Portland unknown,

the places that nobody
likes to talk about.

Let's fucking
say something.

All right, I am so full, I don't
even know why I got this.

You want it?
No.

Okay, do you ever eat?

No, I'm fasting for Ramadan.

I can't eat or drink anything
from sunup to sundown.

So, you're pretty serious
about that stuff, huh?

I guess.
Like, my mom and I, we fast

'cause fasting,
it teaches empathy,

what it's like for people who
are poor and don't have food,

so we're more grateful
for what we do have.

And it teaches you
to control your urges

and to... and to be
stronger than temptation.

You get that all from skipping lunch?

Praise Allah.

So, what are you?

Uh, well, technically,
I'm a quarter Jewish,

but... I'm not anything.

So, what, you don't think
there's any kind

of higher power
in the universe?

Something bigger
than ourselves happening?

I don't know. I never
thought about it.

So you only accept
what's in front of you?

What's in front of us is awful.
There has to be something better.

I think Ramon just has
too much on his plate...

trying to graduate,
get a job.

He's some sort of finalist
for this big game expo,

and he's been really stressed
out, and I think it's...

I didn't know that.
Why didn't I know that?

I should've known that.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

But still,
millions of people

juggle just as much
if not more every day,

and they don't start
hallucinating.

And this guy your brother's
been hanging out with,

I don't know what kind of drugs
he has your brother doing.

Who even is he?
Henry?

I talked to him. He still
doesn't know where he's going.

It's kind of weird, but...

I think they really like
each other.

Well, that's ridiculous.

The man is like 45, dating a
22-year-old college student.

He's not 45,
he's almost 30,

and I think you're just looking
for reasons to not like him.

No. I'm looking for reasons
why my son is hallucinating,

and it all started
when he met this guy.

And... Aah-aah!

Whoa. What's up?

Cramp.

Your brother thinks he knows
this guy, but he doesn't.

Trust me.
This is gonna hurt him.

You know, Mom, that cramp is a
physical expression of your feelings,

and if you don't push
through it, there's...

Oh my God.
If it will make you stop.

Uh-huh.
I will never stop.

Because look at this.

Got you going, Mom.

Never stop.

And I've only known
this patient for a few weeks.

How could he know that
about my mother?

I don't know. Maybe it's
just countertransference.

He described something
similar that happened to you,

and you think
he must be talking about you.

But twice he has dreamt
or imagined a woman

with four gashes
in her cheek.

Once that woman was actually my mother.
He claims,

after seeing
a picture of her.

Well, the woman in his
hallucination called him mijo.

A woman called me mijo outside
the marijuana dispensary.

That is just a coincidence.
Mijo is a very common word.

No. And the four gashes
make up the number 11:11.

That's my birthday.
Farid.

Is it a coincidence
that the woman in his dream

spoke Farsi to him,
a language he doesn't know?

And is it just
a coincidence that...

that the girl
Navid hangs out with

is this patient's sister?
Okay.

You know what to do when you
get like this. Just stop.

Breathe.

Good.

You're taking
your medication, right?

Layla.
Because I won't...

have you... I am...
taking my medication.

Because I won't have you ignoring your
doctor again and becoming erratic.

Navid is older now.
He will see it,

his father disappearing.
I can't protect him from that.

Did you tell him
about my mother?

Did you?
Ah...

I would never tell him something
like that with you knowing.

No. Never.

Maybe you let it slip. Oh, Farid.
Stop, please, enough.

I'm too hungry for this.

Well, maybe
you shouldn't fast.

Just shut up.

Those are
for Uncle Amir.

Thank you. No worries.

Wait. Is it 1982?

Hey, you.

I know.
It's the been too long.

You look... I mean,
you... you haven't aged a day.

Well, you look fantastic.

A few billion dollars
really agrees with you.

Oh, stop.
No, it's not a few billion.

It's like
one, maybe two, max.

The...

The wooden dome.
Yeah.

- It's like a beehive.
- Yup. Yup.

God. It's been forever.

How's Greg?

Oh.

You know,
full of surprises.

How's Nancy?

Nina?
Nina.

Yeah, Nina.
How is she?

Well, my lawyer tells me I just
bought her a house in Milan,

so I'd imagine
she's great.

I'm sorry to hear that.
She was lovely...

seemed lovely
in the Christmas cards.

Very lovely.

She could be.
Uh, and the family's good?

Kids? You've got
three, right?

Four. Mmm. Four? Wow.
That's quite the brood.

Yeah, well, one's mine,
three are adopted.

Oh, that's great.
I bet they enjoy... No.

What? They're mine.
I... I don't know why

I said it like that.
They're all mine.

You okay? I'm fine. May I have
a... a glass of water, please?

Yeah, of course.

Why do you like watching
two guys fucking?

Gay porn just
feels more honest.

You watch porn
for the honesty?

No, but it's like...

Okay, like, if there's a
girl, straight or lesbian...

Mm-hmm... it always feels kind
of exploitative, you know?

Like it's purely
for the enjoyment

of the straight dudes
beating off to it.

But two guys fucking?

Seems like they're actually
enjoying each other.

Women can't just
enjoy having sex?

No, they can,
but it's like...

Okay, like, you can't
fake a cum shot, right?

That's as real as it gets. And
then there's the voyeur thing,

like, "I caught these two
guys doing something

that I'm not supposed to see
them doing, and they..."

They what?

I think that's
my brother's boyfriend.

We're following him,
aren't we?

Yeah.

So, what now?

So, after all this time...

not a word.

What do you mean?

Oh, come on.

You've been here...
a couple of years now, right?

No coffee, no phone call.

Well, when I moved here,

the ink wasn't even dry
from the divorce papers.

I wasn't particularly
pleasant to be around.

Can I be honest
with you?

Because you've been lying
this whole time?

I actually saw you
a few days ago.

Please say you didn't
see me on the news.

Okay, look.

I didn't say
what you saw.

I mean, I did,
technically,

but they way they edited...
they... they purposely...

I can't tell you how many
10-second sound bytes of me

have been edited so that I look
like a hippy-dippy liberal asshole.

Well, lucky you.
I would have given anything

to look like a hippy-dippy
liberal asshole

instead of a raging
white supremacist asshole.

No. Well, I didn't
believe that for a second.

I thought, "No.
That's not the Audrey Bayer

who got arrested with me
at Berkley protesting Reagan."

Isn't it so nice
to know that kids today

get to experience the joys of protesting
a D-list celebrity president?

God. Yeah, well...

Well, kids today,
they only show up to protest

because they need
a great selfie

with somebody getting
pepper-sprayed behind them.

They're the most connected
generation we've ever had.

What are you talking about?

They're fighting just as hard
as we did, if not harder.

Social media is
how they mobilize.

Black Lives Matter,
Resist Marches...

they're not indifferent,
Steven, they're angry.

Everybody's angry.
I'm angry.

I've tried to figure out every
possible way to prevent drought,

to keep crops sustaining,
fighting carbon emissions.

That's a losing battle. We'll be
lucky if we last another 50 years.

Fifty years?
That's not lucky.

That's surrender.

And I don't accept that.

The world is not ours anymore,

and if our kids
are gonna fix it,

even just live in it,

then their anger...

They have to be taught that they
can't just be cruel to each other,

killing each other
like we did, our parents did.

They can be better
than us, you know?

So, that's what you're teaching
them in these schools?

Did, until my funding
got yanked.

I want you
to come back...

present to my board
a proposal, a budget,

convince these assholes who write the
checks that you are a great investment.

Sound good?
Of course.

Hey, babe.
Hey.

We're doing dinner
tonight with the Williamses.

Who? Uh, your friend
from school, Jamila.

I'm not following.

Hailey's cubby-buddy?
His mom.

Wait. Malcolm,
we just met these people,

and we're already
doing dinner? That's...

Look, why don't you
just Uber over

and we'll do wine o'clock.

You know what?

Let's do it. Yeah.

I'd like to get
to know them better,

and their little boy could be very
nice for Hailey to play with.

- It'll be good.
- Yes.

Thank you. Heart emoji, trophy
emoji, kissing face emoji!

Yes!

Oh my God.
Babe, we talked about this.

Emoji is not a language.

- I'm sorry. I love you.
- I love you too.

Okay.

I just don't understand it. We
have three handicap parking spaces

just sitting out there,
but MacDowell here

is the only one of us that
actually has a handicap placard.

I have one too. Oh, come on,
Rubin, you don't need it.

I have poor circulation
to my legs.

Your foot falls asleep.
Big deal.

Jesus Christ.

If we could maybe discuss
something serious for a moment?

Yes. Thank you.

They have changed
the soap in the bathroom

to this weird, orange,
gravelly whatchamacallit.

I mean, come on, are we a
university or a sewage plant?

Oh my God.

Boatwright, do you have
something you'd like to add?

Yes, actually. Um...

What are we doing here?

Having a faculty meeting.

Great, then why aren't we talking
about how the number of students

declaring philosophy as a major has
steadily declined over the last 20 years.

The Internet?
No. Yes.

I know.
No.

No, it's because...

what we are doing isn't
viscerally connected to anything.

These ancient philosophers
we talk about,

they were men of action,
literary giants,

emperors of free thought.

They lived in it.
They fought for it.

They were persecuted for it.

The church
even killed them for it!

And here we are,
thousands of years later,

just decaying
in an ivory tower

of insignificant,
old, white men

complaining about
orange fucking soap.

Nobody gives a shit!

That's the problem!

Nobody gives a shit!

Greg, are you drunk?

No. I'm not drunk.

Were you drunk at the biennial
ethics conference last month?

We understand you were
very entertaining.

I can assure you I was not drunk
then, and I am not drunk now.

Well, I'd watch
my behavior if I were you.

Things you thought were
charming when you were 20

are just embarrassing at 60.

The job opportunity was just
too good for Corey to pass up,

and I was glad
to leave Charleston.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
South Carolina is beautiful and all,

but it's still the South.

I tell you what, though, God certainly
put His plan in motion on this one.

You cannot predict these things.
Mm-mmm.

What church do you
and your family go to?

Oh, we don't.
Oh. That's a shame.

Babe, you have to see
this guy on the grill.

I mean, the way
he brines his meat...

seriously,
you should be viral.

Ah. You know, they say that brining
is somewhat of a lost art...

Mmm.
...and it is, sadly.

You know,
Malcolm was telling us earlier

you work in fashion.
Yes, I do. Yeah.

Has her own retail site.
And a store in the Pearl.

Seriously, Ashley,
I'd love to be more like you

and know everything
about why people wear, like...

those stupid rubber shoes
with the individual toes?

Stuff like that, right?

Style and coordination, yeah, that's a...
that's a part of what I do.

Uh, but I wanted to be a history
major when I was in school,

and the more classes I took,
the more I just kept noticing

how fashion is indicative
of everything, really...

I mean, economic status,
social changes.

It's a visual representation
of history

right as it's unfolding
in front of your eyes.

Hmm. Nice.

And her website
guarantees delivery

in two to three business days,
or it's 15% off your next order.

It's a great deal.

What's up, Baby Jesus?

Hey. What are
you doing here?

I was just in the neighborhood,
figured I'd come by,

see how you're feeling.

Yikes.

I swear, everybody in this family
just figures they can come by.

I mean, does nobody know
how to use a phone, Duc?

Oh yeah, we do.
You're the one who screens

and doesn't seem to know
how to call us back.

None of what
I saw feels random.

I don't know what it means,
but... it means something.

I'm sure
it's confusing.

But, you know, there are
things you can control.

Sleeping,
what you're eating,

how you live.

If you just clean up, create
an organized living space,

maybe it won't all feel
so overwhelming.

Oh yeah?
Is that proven?

If I put away my dishes,
I'll stop hallucinating?

You know, when I was
in the cave, I, um...

I saw this woman.

I think, um...
she was my mom.

What?
She called me mijo.

Huh.

You remember your mom...
your birth mom, right?

Ramon, that's behind me.

That was... a long time ago.
That... it doesn't matter.

But see...
but see, what if...

what if all this that...
that's happening to me,

what if...

what if it's me trying to force myself...

to remember, because I...
I need to remember.

I know that there's something
that I need to remember,

something that I need to know, Duc.
You were 10 months old

when Mom and Dad
brought you here.

Nobody remembers anything from
when they were that young.

Mm-hmm.

Ram...

Look, just...

Just don't start looking
behind you for some sort of...

You might not like what you find.
Yeah.

They've been in there
for almost two hours.

Yup.

What do you think
they're doing?

Probably hoboning.

What?

Hoboning, like when you
fuck a homeless person.

Ho-boning.

That's not funny.

Wait, do you
really think so?

What else could he be doing
in there for two hours?

It doesn't always take
two hours, you know?

It can take, like, six minutes.

Who have you been having
sex with for six minutes?

Nobody... that you know.

Nobody.

So you have.

Once.

How was it?
Great.

It was great.

Have you?
Nope.

Have you ever
done, like, anything?

I almost got head once,
but I kinda got stage fright.

Trust me,
you're not missing much.

Why? What happened
when you did it?

Nothing. Come on, you can't
just drop a teaser like that.

Okay, fine.

A couple nights ago
at Madison Conway's house.

What, you went down on Madison Conway?
No. God!

I mean, if I was drunk
maybe, but no.

Robb Spencer.

Robb Spencer is gay.

No, he isn't.

Okay.
He isn't.

Trust me. I know a gay
guy when I see one.

Yeah, I know. You see them online
at least three times a day.

You're an asshole.

Shh... it.

What do we do?
Hide. Hide.

Hoboning.
I knew it.

What do I do?

I think you should
really tell your brother.

No.

If his boyfriend is cheating
on him with a homeless guy,

he has a right to know.
No, but I don't...

It's gonna, like,
rip his heart out.

Hey, hon, I'm, uh...

having one of those days.
I don't know.

Everything just feels off.

I missed you.

Can't wait to hear about how
the big meeting went.

Well, uh...

hope you scored.

You deserve it.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

The bus took forever.
Oh. Oh, it's no problem.

Uh, you're okay
with ice tea?

Uh, yeah. Great.

Well, um, so...

you just happened
upon my card, huh?

Mmm, not really. I threw my
crystals in the Willamette River

and your face appeared
in the water.

That's... um...
Oh my God, I'm joking.

I just liked talking
to you at the party.

Hey.

Um, thanks for meeting me here.

I'm celibate.

Because nobody wants
to sleep with you?

No. No.

Okay, because I was gonna say
you seem kind enough.

I mean, surely there's someone out
there willing to sleep with you.

No. Okay.

If I wanted to, I could
definitely find someone to...

more than just like that.

Yeah.

But the point is...
I don't want to...

with anyone.
It's my choice.

Okay.

I mean, no offense.
I am not offended.

I just didn't want you to get the
wrong idea about us, this tea.

I am so glad
you just said that.

Oh yeah?
'Cause I'll admit,

for a second after I texted
you, I thought, "Oh crap.

He's gonna think this is a date.
It's gonna be a disaster."

Yeah, I don't know.
"Disaster"?

I just got out of a very
complicated relationship.

I mean,
it was good at first,

and he was nice
until he wasn't, at all,

so when it comes
to relationships right now,

I just... I... I can't. It's just...
Exhausting.

Exactly. The apps
and the dating sites,

there's...
there's like 400 of them.

And honestly, I can't... it's... it's...
It's, like, suffocating.

Yeah.
Yeah.

So... good.

But I am really always in the market
for someone to grab a tea with.

To not fucking.

I can not fuck all day.

Oh, this pecan pie,
it's amazing.

Oh, it's my mother's recipe.

It's a teaspoon of sugar,
a handful of nuts,

and five cups
of butter.

She's coming to stay
with us for a few weeks.

Lord help us, I swear,
every time that woman comes

with a suitcase full
of Land O'Lakes.

Unless it's a thermal suitcase,

that's a scientifically impossible
way for butter to travel.

Oh. He defies the stereotype
that all engineers

have a hilarious sense of humor.

Love you.
Love you too.

You know, girl, if you were
a history buff in school,

I'd love to pick your
brain about something.

I'm not really a buff, so...

I've been reading up
on this city,

and there is something that
really irks me about this place.

Oh, don't start with
the utopia thing again.

Ashley, will you please
tell my husband about

how Portland was founded
as a white utopia?

A...?
A white utopia?

Yeah, it was illegal for black
people to be here until 1926.

Probably why every white person
I meet is always saying,

"Oh my God,
I love Portland. It's heaven."

Meanwhile, I can count on one hand the
people of color I see on the street.

It's true. She texts me
every time she sees one.

We're up to like three? Four.
Like four, yeah.

Did you know about this?

No. Why would
I know... No. No.

Well, it happened almost
a hundred years ago.

It's not like that anymore.

Thank God
for the younger generation.

All the teenagers here do is hang a
black effigy in front of their school.

Ugh. Yeah, that was
Kristen's school.

Who's Kristen?
Oh, Ashley's sister.

Oh my God, Ashley,
is she safe there?

All those white supremacists
running around fucking KKK High?

Pardon my French.
No, her sister is fine. She's white.

Really?
Yeah. Yeah, Ashley's adopted.

Oh.

I didn't know your parents were white.
That makes sense.

That house
must've cost a buck.

Corey, he's fucking funny.

Mmm.
Oh, the Williamses are great.

We should definitely
do this again soon.

I don't know.
They seemed kind of judgy.

Really?
I didn't get that at all.

Hmm.

You got pretty quiet during pie.
Are you good?

Why did you tell them
I'm adopted?

Because you are.
But why did you feel

like you had
to explain it to them?

I didn't explain it.
Mmm.

No, I... I just... I said it. It's not
exactly a secret. They're your parents.

My white parents.
Yeah, they're white.

What's the big deal? I mean, my
parents are white. It's just a fact.

What?

What?

Farid...

Farid?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm just getting a cold.

You should lay down.

Navid and I are breaking fast. Do you
want me to bring you back something?

No, I'm good. I need to finish this.
Okay. It's okay.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Are you close?

Almost. Almost.

Do it. Do it.

No, no, no, I'll wait.
I want you to cum too.

Yeah? I will,
but just go.

Oh.

Jesus.

Oh yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

What is it?

I'm sorry.

For what?

You're right. I should've
been with you at that party.

Stop. Your friend
needed you.

No, you needed me.

I'm sorry.

I am.

Stay.

Where's the south?

- What?
- On your compass on your arm.

You're missing the south.

No, I'm not missing anything.

Is your family there?

Yeah.

Where?

Waco.
Texas?

Yeah.

You know,
I've never been there.

Oh.

Maybe... sometime...

if you want...

we could go see them.

Yeah.

No, I don't think they, um...

No, there's nothing in Waco.
I don't want to go back there.

Maybe we could go
to somewhere new then.

Well, why would you want
to go anywhere else

when we got everything
we want right here?

Cletus.

I love you.

You don't have
to say it back.

I just wanted to say it.

Aud?

Aud?

Audrey?

Aud?

Oh, there you are.

I have something
I want to tell you.

Hear me out.

The other day we were talking
about taking a trip,

and I was thinking, "Yeah, we could go
back and visit New York or Berlin."

Then I started thinking, "Well,
let's not repeat ourselves.

"Let's go someplace new. Let's go
someplace we've never been before,

a place we can create
an entirely new memory."

And then I realized,
"Antarctica."

I know. I know exactly
what you're thinking.

We always said,
"Never a cruise,"

but they have ones you can take
through the Arctic Peninsula.

They have lectures on sea life.
We could feed the penguins.

You know I've always
wanted to feed a penguin.

Honestly,
the time to go is now.

It's melting, and soon
enough it'll be gone,

so what do you think?

Sounds expensive.

You'd have to stop taking $900
out of the ATM every month.

What are you talking about?
Our bank statements.

I've noticed that you withdraw
$300 out of our checking account

at least three times
a month.

What's that for?

Just cash
to have on hand.

Nothing specific.

Really?

Because it's never 200.

It's never 500.

It's always
exactly... three.

That seems
oddly specific, Simon.

Oh.

I, uh...

Oh fuck.

Okay.

I, um...

I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh God.

Wow.

You know,
I thought...

It's stupid, but... but for
a second there I thought...

"Here it comes.

"Here comes the story...

the lie."

I would never lie to you.

Look, that... that...

isn't a thing.

Okay? It's nothing.
It's... it's...

It's a prostitute, Greg!

Well, she's not really
a prostitute. She's...

She... she's putting herself...
through law school. Sh...

Oh, for fuck's...

They're always putting themselves
through law school, Greg!

What? Did you think
she was gonna tell you

she needed the money
to jam heroin up her eyeball?

You used this on her,
didn't you?

No. I swear,
I didn't even buy that.

You said
you bought it for me.

I didn't. I for...

I forgot it was even
in the glove compartment.

I wasn't gonna use that.
She... sh...

She gave it to me.

You regifted me a cock sling
from a hooker?

Of all
the stupid things to do,

not erasing
your search history.

My God,
you've become a cliché.

There is one in particular
that was my favorite.

The one about, um...

May I?

Would you do the honor?

No.

Please read.

You want me to read this?

"Thank you again
for yesterday. I forgot..."

"I forgot what it's like
to want somebody."

When I wrote this,
I didn't...

It doesn't mean anything.

Actually...

I think it's the most interesting
thing you've written in years.

Honey, I know you're hurt...

Really?
You know I'm hurt?

Okay, what?
You're gonna throw away everything...

I'm not gonna throw
anything away!

Oh God.
What the fuck did you...

Get out!
Get the fuck out!

Go on!

I'm going!

- Get out!
- Okay!

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