Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,673 --> 00:00:05,750
Hey, Cooper, what's with the getup?
2
00:00:05,775 --> 00:00:08,311
Hmm? Oh, got a, uh... a lot of
crazy fans out there, Claire.
3
00:00:08,336 --> 00:00:10,200
I need to keep a low profile.
4
00:00:10,764 --> 00:00:12,737
You look like Helen Mirren
5
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,212
playing in the World Series of Poker.
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,424
And why are you in disguise?
7
00:00:19,449 --> 00:00:20,810
Huh?
8
00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:25,700
Are you worried about being
mobbed by accountant groupies?
9
00:00:26,215 --> 00:00:28,841
Uh, they're called number sluts.
10
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,889
And really, I'm just
trying to protect myself
11
00:00:31,914 --> 00:00:32,781
from the paparazzi.
12
00:00:32,806 --> 00:00:34,873
Because people are starting to
recognize me as Cooper's friend.
13
00:00:34,898 --> 00:00:37,424
Any time we're out, they're
like, "Cooper, Jake,
14
00:00:37,449 --> 00:00:38,776
Cooper, Jake."
15
00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:42,650
Are you sure they're not
saying "Cooper James"?
16
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,307
I suppose that's a possibility.
17
00:00:48,871 --> 00:00:51,831
So good to be out in public
amongst regular people.
18
00:00:51,856 --> 00:00:53,299
Or as I call them, reg-pers.
19
00:00:53,324 --> 00:00:54,983
Sorry, what?
20
00:00:55,479 --> 00:00:57,172
- Reg-pers.
- Ooh, boy, with your accent,
21
00:00:57,205 --> 00:00:59,055
you got to be careful saying that word.
22
00:00:59,774 --> 00:01:01,173
Don't worry, man.
23
00:01:01,198 --> 00:01:03,893
If any of these reg-pers harass
you, there will be two sounds:
24
00:01:03,918 --> 00:01:05,845
them asking you for an autograph,
25
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,127
and me saying, "Now's not the time."
26
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:10,477
Oh, you mean the same two
sounds that you heard
27
00:01:10,502 --> 00:01:12,281
when you met LeBron
James at that urinal?
28
00:01:14,011 --> 00:01:16,255
Going for the handshake was a mistake.
29
00:01:17,612 --> 00:01:21,374
Hiya. Um, could I get a
croissant and a flat white?
30
00:01:21,399 --> 00:01:22,633
Croissant and a flat white.
31
00:01:22,658 --> 00:01:23,657
Coming right up, mate.
32
00:01:23,682 --> 00:01:26,136
Oh, my God. A fellow Aussie.
33
00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:28,168
Uh, what part of
Australia are you from?
34
00:01:28,476 --> 00:01:29,818
Orange County.
35
00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:31,839
- Oh.
- Sorry.
36
00:01:31,864 --> 00:01:33,065
I just thought your accent was cute.
37
00:01:34,244 --> 00:01:35,962
So what brings you to the States?
38
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:38,791
Uh, uh, music.
39
00:01:39,418 --> 00:01:42,277
Oh, cool. And what do you do for money?
40
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:46,057
Uh, yeah... also music?
41
00:01:50,995 --> 00:01:52,152
Was that in slow-motion?
42
00:01:54,829 --> 00:01:58,155
Guys, this-this cute barista
has no idea who I am.
43
00:01:58,589 --> 00:02:00,049
This is amazing.
44
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:03,965
Well, not for us. We're gonna
have to pay for our coffee now.
45
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:06,340
Go talk to her, dude.
46
00:02:06,365 --> 00:02:07,556
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
47
00:02:07,581 --> 00:02:10,900
Um... um...
48
00:02:11,084 --> 00:02:13,131
Uh, uh, what brought you to the States?
49
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:14,790
Um, birth.
50
00:02:16,697 --> 00:02:19,844
Cool. Yeah, cool. Um, I was born, too.
51
00:02:19,869 --> 00:02:21,354
Uh...
52
00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,299
C-section.
53
00:02:24,843 --> 00:02:26,270
Cool.
54
00:02:26,295 --> 00:02:27,514
Uh...
55
00:02:29,776 --> 00:02:31,142
Guys, how come when I talk,
56
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:33,409
charming, funny things
aren't coming out?
57
00:02:34,532 --> 00:02:38,143
Uh, maybe try talking about
other surgeries your mom's had.
58
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:42,181
- Do not do that. No.
- No, don't do that.
59
00:02:56,533 --> 00:03:02,281
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
60
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:08,102
That barista was so cute,
and she was into you.
61
00:03:08,127 --> 00:03:09,029
Why didn't you ask her out?
62
00:03:09,054 --> 00:03:10,469
Uh... Uh, 'cause we're happily married.
63
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,267
And, yep, you meant him.
64
00:03:15,568 --> 00:03:16,967
I don't know.
65
00:03:17,036 --> 00:03:18,679
I don't know, she
didn't know who I was,
66
00:03:18,704 --> 00:03:20,483
and I think it... I think it threw me.
67
00:03:20,657 --> 00:03:22,219
Ah, I got to say, it
was kind of refreshing
68
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,650
to watch you be so awkward,
'cause you're usually
69
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,297
the most confident guy in the room.
70
00:03:26,322 --> 00:03:27,445
Don't you mean
71
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:29,309
second most confi...
72
00:03:35,761 --> 00:03:37,894
Usually, when I meet people,
they already know who I am.
73
00:03:37,963 --> 00:03:39,541
And then they ask me what
my latest project is,
74
00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:41,356
and then they show a clip
from that latest project.
75
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,586
Do you only have conversations
76
00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:44,880
when you're appearing on talk shows?
77
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,474
That actually reminds me
of a funny story. I, uh...
78
00:03:52,684 --> 00:03:54,684
Oh, this explains why, the
first month you lived here,
79
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:56,859
you kept thanking us
for "having you on."
80
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,202
I've been famous since I was a kid,
81
00:04:02,227 --> 00:04:04,669
so I guess I've never had
the chance to ask out
82
00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:06,428
a reg-per who thinks
I'm a reg-per, too.
83
00:04:06,651 --> 00:04:08,155
Hmm.
84
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:09,827
Really think you're gonna have to start
85
00:04:09,852 --> 00:04:11,731
hitting that "G" harder.
86
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,624
Well, I... I don't
want to mess this up.
87
00:04:15,693 --> 00:04:17,946
You know? What if this girl ends
up being the Claire to my Jake?
88
00:04:17,971 --> 00:04:20,696
Ha, ha, Cooper. You got
a lot of work to do
89
00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:22,794
if you want to be anybody's
Jake, you know what I'm...
90
00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:24,523
Oh, my...
91
00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:27,368
Why do we have all these magazines?
92
00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:29,885
Stop.
93
00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:34,736
See, you guys have the
perfect reg-per romance.
94
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:37,111
How do... how do people do that?
95
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,119
You know, I don't even know
how you guys got together.
96
00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:40,228
In college.
97
00:04:40,253 --> 00:04:42,804
"In college"?
98
00:04:43,594 --> 00:04:45,374
"In college"?
99
00:04:45,642 --> 00:04:46,766
Are you seriously
100
00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:50,261
summing up the greatest love
story of all time in two words?
101
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,407
How do you explain Romeo and Juliet?
102
00:04:54,432 --> 00:04:56,161
"Dead teenagers"?
103
00:04:57,968 --> 00:05:01,344
Cooper, let me tell you
what actually happened.
104
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:04,067
It was a crisp fall
day in New Hampshire,
105
00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:07,888
and a young doe-eyed freshman
named Claire was struggling
106
00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:10,761
to move her furniture into her dorm.
107
00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:19,705
Hey, girl.
108
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,167
Hey.
109
00:05:22,251 --> 00:05:24,695
Can't spell "futon" without F-U-N.
110
00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:28,447
But moving them sure isn't.
111
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:34,349
I'm Jake Davis. Allow me.
112
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,171
Peace.
113
00:05:42,307 --> 00:05:45,190
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
114
00:05:45,215 --> 00:05:46,615
Jake, come on.
115
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,465
That's not exactly what happened.
116
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:50,420
Okay, he had just finished a ride,
117
00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:52,825
but it wasn't on a motorcycle.
118
00:05:57,422 --> 00:05:58,977
Hey, girl.
119
00:06:00,147 --> 00:06:01,547
Hey.
120
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:04,009
Can't spell "Davis" without "fun."
121
00:06:04,844 --> 00:06:06,744
I'm Jake Futon.
122
00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:11,140
- What?
- I don't... Allow me.
123
00:06:20,081 --> 00:06:21,687
Well, remember how you want.
124
00:06:21,712 --> 00:06:23,602
I clearly had game, because
Claire started coming
125
00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:25,860
to all of my basketball practices.
126
00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:28,489
Yeah, 'cause the gym was the
hottest place on campus.
127
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:29,827
Yeah, it was.
128
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:32,390
I mean, literally,
129
00:06:32,415 --> 00:06:34,627
'cause I had just moved from
California to New Hampshire,
130
00:06:34,652 --> 00:06:37,958
where summer basically lasts
from July 4 to July 8.
131
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:41,657
But that week, though.
132
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:44,536
Ladies be showing some skin.
133
00:06:45,532 --> 00:06:47,931
- From roughly the ankle to mid-calf.
- Yeah.
134
00:06:48,913 --> 00:06:50,502
Anyways, I...
135
00:06:50,973 --> 00:06:54,564
I made the triumphant
decision to ask Claire out.
136
00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:55,883
Yeah, you did.
137
00:06:56,177 --> 00:06:57,442
A month later.
138
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:58,636
Damn it, Claire.
139
00:06:58,661 --> 00:07:00,458
Well, I'm sorry, babe, but
you're doing that thing
140
00:07:00,483 --> 00:07:02,555
where you edit the story to
try and make it sound better.
141
00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:06,278
Come on, guys. I want all the details.
142
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:08,287
How come it took you so
long to get together?
143
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:10,520
Well, you know, Claire wasn't exactly
144
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:12,720
the most approachable in college.
145
00:07:12,745 --> 00:07:15,231
'Cause I wasn't exactly
having a good time.
146
00:07:15,256 --> 00:07:17,147
What? How can you not
have fun at college?
147
00:07:17,172 --> 00:07:18,665
You go there, thousands of
girls scream your name,
148
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:20,672
you get an honorary degree.
149
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:25,780
It's probably different for
other people, isn't it?
150
00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:30,102
Anyway, it was parents weekend.
151
00:07:30,876 --> 00:07:32,822
Oh, honey, don't cry.
152
00:07:32,847 --> 00:07:35,572
Everyone gains weight
their freshman year.
153
00:07:35,597 --> 00:07:37,212
Mom, I didn't gain weight.
154
00:07:37,237 --> 00:07:39,872
Oh. Is it your bad haircut?
155
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,796
What's wrong with my hair?
156
00:07:42,821 --> 00:07:44,155
Don't worry, Claire.
157
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:46,339
We can fix the weight,
the hair, the wardrobe.
158
00:07:46,364 --> 00:07:49,266
What? No, I'm upset
because I'm homesick.
159
00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:50,982
Ugh, it's just, it's...
160
00:07:51,007 --> 00:07:52,621
it's freezing here,
161
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,193
everyone puts maple
syrup on everything,
162
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:58,378
and the radiator melted my Uggs.
163
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,082
For starters, if it's cold,
164
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:03,775
you can just put on one
of these extra coats.
165
00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:05,872
Dad, that's my roommate.
166
00:08:06,885 --> 00:08:09,418
I'm Hannah, from Florida.
167
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,090
Look, you just need to go out
there and make some friends,
168
00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:16,513
you know, who-who don't
drink or do drugs,
169
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,620
because we will be testing your urine.
170
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:21,048
Ooh, Claire.
171
00:08:21,073 --> 00:08:24,090
What about introducing
yourself to that guy?
172
00:08:24,115 --> 00:08:26,912
Oh... Come on, he's cute.
173
00:08:26,937 --> 00:08:29,770
Ooh, and he's on the basketball team.
174
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:31,485
Yeah, oh, hi.
175
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,108
Hi. Come meet Claire.
176
00:08:33,311 --> 00:08:34,917
Come meet Claire. I'm her mother,
177
00:08:34,942 --> 00:08:37,463
so you know she's only
gonna get hotter with age.
178
00:08:39,396 --> 00:08:40,595
You are cute.
179
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:43,387
Sorry.
180
00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:44,316
Whoa.
181
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:45,669
Uh, who is that guy?
182
00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:47,523
Tommy Barlow.
183
00:08:47,811 --> 00:08:50,652
The hotshot freshman who
stole my playing time.
184
00:08:50,923 --> 00:08:52,941
Thought he was better than me
because he scored more points,
185
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,645
had more assists and more
rebounds than I did.
186
00:08:58,692 --> 00:09:01,543
He was also my first college boyfriend.
187
00:09:02,145 --> 00:09:03,273
You know, even though Jake
188
00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:05,104
is the absolute love of my life,
189
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:08,130
any time I mention Tommy
Barlow, he still gets mad.
190
00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,556
No, I don't.
191
00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:11,757
I don't get mad.
192
00:09:12,231 --> 00:09:13,837
You do seem a little bit upset.
193
00:09:13,862 --> 00:09:16,379
I am not upset, all right?
194
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:18,780
Gonna take a little more
than that to make me upset.
195
00:09:18,805 --> 00:09:20,362
You know what I'm saying?
196
00:09:20,387 --> 00:09:22,526
He just had a sample. I
got the whole thing.
197
00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:24,183
You know what I'm saying?
198
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:26,368
Ain't nothing gonna make me upset.
You know?
199
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:31,231
I hate you, Tommy Barlow!
200
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,530
Wow. I guess I just assumed
201
00:09:40,555 --> 00:09:42,363
you guys started dating
as soon as you met.
202
00:09:42,388 --> 00:09:44,403
You know, like, love at first sight.
203
00:09:44,428 --> 00:09:46,340
Oh, that only happens in the movies.
204
00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:48,545
Eh, it happens in real life, too.
205
00:09:49,509 --> 00:09:52,676
Your parents fell in love
with Tommy Barlow right away.
206
00:09:54,398 --> 00:09:57,438
- So how'd you get Claire?
- Mm, just played it cool, man.
207
00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,130
Played it so cool, I needed a
Zamboni to get out of bed.
208
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,667
Oh!
209
00:10:08,830 --> 00:10:10,775
Oh, no, sorry, I was just choking.
210
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,701
On that lie.
211
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:18,019
Ah, here's what I remember.
212
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,117
Hey, gir...
213
00:10:24,142 --> 00:10:27,314
Hey, Jake. What's up?
214
00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:29,069
Tommy Barlow.
215
00:10:29,604 --> 00:10:32,225
Guess Claire set the bar low.
216
00:10:34,022 --> 00:10:36,169
These are for your mom.
217
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:39,614
Peace.
218
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,331
Huh. I guess back then,
Rollerblades were much cooler
219
00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:45,358
in America than they were in Australia.
220
00:10:47,401 --> 00:10:49,125
- They were not.
- Nope.
221
00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:50,211
Hey, guys.
222
00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:51,632
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
223
00:10:51,657 --> 00:10:53,469
We need to borrow a few things.
224
00:10:53,494 --> 00:10:56,375
We... we want to make
brownies, but we don't have
225
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,931
any cocoa, flour,
butter, sugar or eggs.
226
00:11:01,590 --> 00:11:04,265
So you just have the marijuana, then.
227
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:06,203
- That's right, yeah.
- Yep.
228
00:11:06,228 --> 00:11:07,055
Yeah.
229
00:11:07,368 --> 00:11:08,593
Man, what happened to the parents
230
00:11:08,618 --> 00:11:10,738
who used to drug-test me in college?
231
00:11:10,763 --> 00:11:14,203
Claire, they're prescription
brownies for my glaucoma.
232
00:11:15,923 --> 00:11:18,020
These two were telling me
how they met at Dartmouth.
233
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,411
Oh, Claire hated it there.
234
00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:22,293
She had the worst haircut.
235
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:24,624
You know, she hated it so much,
236
00:11:24,659 --> 00:11:26,642
she was even planning to transfer.
237
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:28,547
Really? What changed your mind?
238
00:11:28,572 --> 00:11:30,333
Ya boy did.
239
00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:33,755
You see, Cooper, the fates aligned
240
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,981
one beautiful New Hampshire evening.
241
00:11:37,308 --> 00:11:38,851
Oh, God.
242
00:11:38,876 --> 00:11:41,177
How is this early September?
243
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,385
Ugh, I hate you, New Hampshire!
244
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:51,257
But you haven't even
gotten to know me yet.
245
00:11:51,804 --> 00:11:54,002
That was my New Hampshire voice.
246
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:56,216
Want to hear my Texas voice?
247
00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:59,094
Hey, y'all, my toast is thick.
248
00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:03,219
Well, what are we looking for?
249
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,311
Ugh, my transfer application.
250
00:12:05,336 --> 00:12:06,913
Why the heck do you want to transfer?
251
00:12:06,938 --> 00:12:08,959
Oh, I'll show you why.
252
00:12:09,288 --> 00:12:11,128
Oh.
253
00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:15,738
It's so cold here, my hair is
literally cracking in half.
254
00:12:16,371 --> 00:12:20,440
I miss my friends, and
it's always snowing.
255
00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:23,606
Now I know why they make you
take the tour in the spring.
256
00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:26,252
But there's so many fun
things to do in the snow.
257
00:12:26,277 --> 00:12:31,193
Right? You got skiing, snowball fights,
258
00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:33,189
writing your name in pee.
259
00:12:33,214 --> 00:12:35,395
Adding a "was here" if
you really have to go.
260
00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:39,008
Oh, are you the Jake that
was just over there?
261
00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:41,568
Mind your wizness.
262
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,954
Plus, we are in the perfect spot
263
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,902
to watch unsuspecting freshmen
slip on that patch of black ice.
264
00:12:48,286 --> 00:12:50,290
Oh, oh...
265
00:12:50,315 --> 00:12:51,323
- Oh. Mm-hmm.
- Oh, hey.
266
00:12:51,348 --> 00:12:53,989
- Hey. Oh, oh! Oh! Hey, yep!
- Oh, oh!
267
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:57,418
Oh, are you okay?
268
00:13:00,324 --> 00:13:03,281
Ooh, we saw all of that.
269
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:06,505
Uh-oh. Pack of friends.
270
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,138
All for one, and one for fall.
271
00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:16,997
Yeah...
272
00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:18,945
You know what this viewing party needs?
273
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:21,592
A fun beverage. Hold, please.
274
00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,977
Oh, I-I actually have a
pact with my parents
275
00:13:24,002 --> 00:13:26,416
that the three of us will
never drink or do drugs.
276
00:13:26,441 --> 00:13:28,530
It's just Gatorade.
277
00:13:28,555 --> 00:13:30,390
- Oh.
- Yeah.
278
00:13:30,415 --> 00:13:31,759
And...
279
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:33,699
get some ice, right?
280
00:13:33,724 --> 00:13:36,492
And then pour some of
this on that bad boy.
281
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:39,099
VoilĂ . Instant snow cone.
282
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,566
Mm.
283
00:13:42,746 --> 00:13:44,703
So, is this what you do?
284
00:13:44,728 --> 00:13:46,954
You put a magical spin on everything?
285
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,826
Well, the way I look at it,
life's either gonna be
286
00:13:48,851 --> 00:13:50,584
a great time or a great story.
287
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,803
Sometimes it ends up being both.
288
00:13:53,135 --> 00:13:54,575
Hmm.
289
00:13:56,604 --> 00:13:58,612
Luke, uh, what's about to happen
to this architecture student
290
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,076
who can't see over his model.
291
00:14:00,101 --> 00:14:02,310
- Oh!
- Oh!
292
00:14:02,961 --> 00:14:05,105
Oh, he just King Kong'd
his own building.
293
00:14:07,488 --> 00:14:10,296
Hours of work, gone.
294
00:14:12,654 --> 00:14:15,203
Uh, you mind if I make myself a refill?
295
00:14:15,228 --> 00:14:18,063
Oh, sure. Got some
more Gatorade for you.
296
00:14:18,131 --> 00:14:19,525
Hey.
297
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:22,266
Oh, no, you didn't.
298
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:23,756
I hope you're ready to
eat another snow cone.
299
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:24,689
Nope!
300
00:14:28,539 --> 00:14:29,605
Sorry, dude.
301
00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:36,672
Claire's first snowball fight
led to our first date.
302
00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:39,308
It, uh, snowballed from there.
303
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:42,488
And the rest is kisstory.
304
00:14:42,513 --> 00:14:43,740
Aw.
305
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,288
That's the most romantic
story I've ever heard.
306
00:14:46,313 --> 00:14:48,198
Except for the part where
she broke his nose.
307
00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:49,864
What?
308
00:14:50,249 --> 00:14:52,706
All right, all right. Come on, come on.
309
00:14:52,731 --> 00:14:54,409
Shouldn't you guys be
in front of a 7-Eleven
310
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,104
buying liquor for teenagers?
311
00:14:56,919 --> 00:15:00,418
Tommy Barlow would never
kick us out of the house.
312
00:15:02,999 --> 00:15:05,071
Okay, fine. I'll admit.
313
00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:07,302
The kiss didn't quite happen that day.
314
00:15:07,525 --> 00:15:09,558
I don't want to offend you, but, uh,
315
00:15:09,798 --> 00:15:11,772
you throw snowballs like a Californian.
316
00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:12,310
Oh, no.
317
00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:17,116
Oh! Yeah? One who played varsity
softball for four years,
318
00:15:17,141 --> 00:15:18,487
so get ready.
319
00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:20,307
Yeah, right.
320
00:15:21,794 --> 00:15:23,496
Are you okay?
321
00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:26,020
Yeah, yeah. I think it just hit
my nose a little bit. I...
322
00:15:27,751 --> 00:15:29,156
Oh, my...
323
00:15:29,181 --> 00:15:31,510
Oh, my God, that's a lot of blood.
324
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,785
Yeah, um, I'm not good
with s-seeing... bl...
325
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:36,093
What?
326
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,257
Hey, Claire?
327
00:15:39,971 --> 00:15:42,025
While you're down there,
can you look for my tooth?
328
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,093
Were you okay?
329
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,282
I was, uh, until Jake tried
330
00:15:47,307 --> 00:15:49,452
to carry me to the doctor
331
00:15:49,477 --> 00:15:52,787
but slipped on the ice and
gave me a concussion.
332
00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:56,678
So when did the kiss happen?
333
00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:58,002
Uh, about a week later.
334
00:15:58,027 --> 00:16:00,509
Yeah, we, uh, ran into each
other at the health center.
335
00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:03,087
I was getting a checkup on my
nose, and she was getting, uh...
336
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:05,115
getting one for her
little brain sprain.
337
00:16:05,496 --> 00:16:08,030
Yeah, and, uh, we ended up
walking to the pharmacy together
338
00:16:08,055 --> 00:16:11,056
to pick up our meds, and
then to a restaurant,
339
00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:12,757
'cause we couldn't take our
meds on an empty stomach.
340
00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,444
- Right.
- Okay.
341
00:16:14,684 --> 00:16:16,874
Okay, so you dated someone else,
342
00:16:16,899 --> 00:16:18,798
and you played it cool for a month.
343
00:16:18,823 --> 00:16:21,467
Then you severely injured each other,
344
00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:23,743
and went on a pity date
that was just errands?
345
00:16:25,703 --> 00:16:27,867
The rest is kisstory.
346
00:16:28,331 --> 00:16:31,395
Um, I'm gonna ask that
barista out another time.
347
00:16:31,786 --> 00:16:33,891
I thought your love story would
inspire me, but instead,
348
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:36,777
it's just made me painfully aware
of the randomness of life.
349
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,639
I guess you're right.
350
00:16:41,989 --> 00:16:45,635
From now on, Claire, I'll just
say we, uh, met in college.
351
00:16:48,242 --> 00:16:50,819
Well, Jake, wait. Uh...
352
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,617
We still haven't told Cooper
how the kiss happened.
353
00:16:54,642 --> 00:16:57,256
Huh, right? Oh, yeah. Uh...
354
00:16:57,281 --> 00:17:00,215
Her mouth was closed. I
went in with tongue.
355
00:17:02,401 --> 00:17:05,001
I basically just licked her lips.
356
00:17:06,123 --> 00:17:10,070
Okay, okay, I guess I'm the one
that's gonna have to tell you,
357
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,089
'cause Jake is obviously embarrassed
358
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,550
by how romantic it was.
359
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:16,174
I am?
360
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:21,076
It was a bright and sunny
day in New Hampshire.
361
00:17:21,348 --> 00:17:22,838
Jake and I were just walking back
362
00:17:22,863 --> 00:17:24,961
from our post-health-center meal.
363
00:17:25,204 --> 00:17:27,799
Thanks for getting me
the California Burger.
364
00:17:27,824 --> 00:17:29,195
And for doing its voice.
365
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,794
Ha, ha. How'd I get in this bun, brah?
366
00:17:33,546 --> 00:17:35,084
Ugh, this whole thing
kind of makes me wish
367
00:17:35,109 --> 00:17:37,827
I hadn't submitted a new
transfer application.
368
00:17:38,315 --> 00:17:39,975
I'm supposed to leave tomorrow.
369
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,793
Seriously? That sucks.
370
00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:47,085
I know. I mean, maybe it's
blunt-force trauma to the head,
371
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:50,275
or the cute guy that won't
shut up about New Hampshire,
372
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,001
but, uh, I think I'm
starting to like this place.
373
00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:54,131
- Whoa, whoa!
- Oh!
374
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,764
- Ooh...
- Oh...
375
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:58,082
Hey, girl.
376
00:17:58,583 --> 00:17:59,982
Hey!
377
00:18:00,364 --> 00:18:02,395
What do you think you're doing?
378
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,441
Get out of here, Tommy Barlow.
379
00:18:04,964 --> 00:18:06,445
Make me.
380
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:08,505
He said, "Make me."
381
00:18:11,492 --> 00:18:14,376
You can take my playing
time, Tommy Barlow...
382
00:18:15,557 --> 00:18:17,392
but you can't take my girl.
383
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:22,095
- I'm supposed to go to Stanford.
- Shh.
384
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,242
You're not going to Stanford.
'Cause if you do,
385
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:29,655
you're gonna miss the greatest
love story of all time.
386
00:18:42,532 --> 00:18:44,395
Clap, Tommy Barlow.
387
00:18:49,397 --> 00:18:51,699
Holy crap. That's so sweet.
388
00:18:51,983 --> 00:18:53,355
I need to go and ask
out that cute barista
389
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,640
before she transfers to a different
390
00:18:54,665 --> 00:18:56,451
Carol's Coffee & Stuff.
391
00:18:59,165 --> 00:19:00,885
Wow, Claire.
392
00:19:01,394 --> 00:19:03,889
I thought you didn't like
embellishing stories.
393
00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,144
That ending had some serious
Shake 'n Bake on it.
394
00:19:08,628 --> 00:19:10,513
Well, you inspired me.
395
00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:14,155
I forgot that you have this
magical way of telling stories
396
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:15,990
that makes whoever you're talking to
397
00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,581
really feel something.
398
00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:19,653
And sometimes, people need that.
399
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,897
I know I did, when I first met you.
400
00:19:22,338 --> 00:19:23,957
It's one of the reasons I
fell in love with you.
401
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:25,983
Mm.
402
00:19:26,008 --> 00:19:27,308
Also, my butt's pretty sweet, right?
403
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,200
Oh, yeah. Mm.
404
00:19:29,225 --> 00:19:30,324
I'm your little Kardashian.
405
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:34,763
Okay, so I-I promise
406
00:19:34,788 --> 00:19:39,423
never to sum up our story with
a paltry "in college" again.
407
00:19:39,693 --> 00:19:41,104
Okay?
408
00:19:41,718 --> 00:19:45,036
Oh, um, and the next time you
tell the ending of our story,
409
00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:47,358
can I, uh, rip out Tommy's
still-beating heart?
410
00:19:58,053 --> 00:20:00,819
Oh, my gosh, it is so cold.
411
00:20:00,844 --> 00:20:03,133
How is this May?
412
00:20:04,254 --> 00:20:05,850
- Ooh, ooh!
- Oh, God.
413
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,199
Oh. Stay up.
414
00:20:07,224 --> 00:20:09,263
Stay, stay, stay...
415
00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:12,893
Hey, are you guys okay?
416
00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:14,773
Hey, Tommy Barlow.
417
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,320
Ooh!
418
00:20:22,315 --> 00:20:23,782
I got it. I got it.
419
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,019
You got it?
420
00:20:25,044 --> 00:20:26,120
You good. All right.
421
00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:28,183
- Hey.
- Hi.
422
00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:29,368
You guys want a beer?
423
00:20:29,393 --> 00:20:30,523
Oh, yeah, we don't drink.
424
00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:33,612
Yeah. But maybe one
little sip wouldn't hurt.
425
00:20:38,978 --> 00:20:40,902
- Oh.
- Oh.
426
00:20:42,037 --> 00:20:46,192
I feel like the next chapter
of our lives has just begun.
427
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:51,569
- Is there a party around here?
- Yeah, just around the corner.
30716
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.