Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,720
All right?
You ain't going to believe this.
3
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,800
What? Mr Perkins.
4
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,040
What about him?
5
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,800
He's dead.
6
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,600
He's dead?
7
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,400
Are you joking?
8
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,440
No.
9
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,200
Way!
10
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,040
BOTH: Way!
11
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,400
Way!
12
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,120
# He's dead, he's dead,
he's dead, he's dead!
13
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:48,160
# He's dead! He is dead!
14
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,960
# He's dead, he's dead,
he's dead, he's dead!
15
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,000
# He's dead! He is dead! #
16
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,640
Basically, Mr Perkins was
our old woodwork teacher
17
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,160
and he was a massive prick.
18
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,320
Yeah. He used to be just
plain nasty, wasn't he, Kurts?
19
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,760
Yeah. He always used to
say, "Oh, Kerry and Kurtan,
20
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,160
"you'll do..."
"Nothing with your lives."
21
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,240
Which is a bit rich, to be honest,
coming from him, who's now dead.
22
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,280
Yeah.
23
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,200
# He's dead, he's dead,
he's dead, he's dead! #
24
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,320
I think it's disgusting, what yous
is doing, celebrating a man's death.
25
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,000
Shut up, Len, you're boring.
26
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,960
Yeah, well, I think it's disgusting
you not celebrating the man's death.
27
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,240
Charming.
Hogwarts is that way, Dumbledore.
28
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,760
Idiot man.
29
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,320
He used to call us...
30
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,520
Ren and Stimpy, didn't he?
31
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,840
Yeah. Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
32
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,040
Pinky and Perky.
33
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,360
Asterix and Obelix.
34
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,480
Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby.
35
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,920
The Neville brothers.
36
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,960
He used to say I looked like
the puppet off the Dolmio advert.
37
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,680
It's just, I...I knew this day
would come, but I just,
38
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,040
I actually can't believe it's here,
do you know what I mean?
39
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,960
All right, Mand?
No, I'm not all right,
40
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,240
some little old blind man with
a guide dog walked into a bin
41
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,360
outside my house.
42
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,720
Shit, is he all right?
43
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,760
He won't be when I've got
my hands on him.
44
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,960
Poor Tyson was so scared, he's run
up a tree and ate a bird's nest.
45
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,280
So I'm going to find him
and break his legs for him.
46
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,640
See how he likes it.
47
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,000
You see him,
you send him my way, yeah?
48
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,960
All right, you fucking psychopath.
49
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,160
Who's a psychopath?
50
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,920
Er...
51
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,000
The blind man.
52
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,640
Yeah, I know.
Poor little baby birds
53
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,960
got their guts sucked out
their arseholes cos of him.
54
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,040
Evil bastard.
55
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,680
Fucking weirdo.
56
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,720
Who's a weirdo?
57
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,280
Er...Kurtan.
58
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,080
Yeah, I know.
59
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,080
Come on, Tyson, you fucking prick.
60
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,880
How the fuck did she hear all that?
61
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:49,920
Erm...
62
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,240
She's like a fucking bat.
63
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,160
People are scared of Mandy,
but I ain't.
64
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,920
Because we're both on
the same level of hardness.
65
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,400
It's, like, Kane isn't scared
of The Undertaker
66
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,120
because they're both
Brothers of Destruction.
67
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,320
There's a kid crying over there.
68
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,160
Do you want me to...? I can tell him
to shut the fuck up if you want?
69
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,880
She belongs in a nuthouse, mate.
70
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,360
She is fucking nuts.
71
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,960
A very bad egg.
72
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,720
I like Kerry. Her mum's...
73
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,040
Mum's a good fighter, her mum,
down the pub and that.
74
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,440
If you was in trouble,
you can always rely on her mum.
75
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,560
Kerry's all right. Kurtan's a...
76
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,080
He's a fucking moron.
77
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,240
Our old prom photo, yeah?
78
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,720
Ten minutes after that was taken,
79
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,240
Kurtan vommed all the way down
his ivory tie.
80
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,480
Yeah, only cos I kept spiking
my own drinks. Yeah.
81
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,360
Oh, Kerr, our old detention cards
from Mr Perkins.
82
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,560
"Kerry and Kurtan,
lunchtime detention
83
00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,360
"for making crass song
in woodwork class."
84
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,760
Wait...I'll get it.
KEYBOARD PLAYS TUNE
85
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,600
Five, six, seven.
86
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,000
# Mr Perkins is a prick
87
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,360
# Mr Perkins is a prick
88
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,280
# Mr Perkins is a prick
89
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,520
# Mr Perkins is a prick
90
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,600
# Mr Perkins is a prick
91
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,680
# Mr Perkins is a prick
92
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,880
# Mr Perkins is a prick
93
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,320
# All day long. #
94
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,560
How is that crass?
How is that crass?
95
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,480
Disruption, yeah, defiance, yeah,
abusive language, fucking yeah.
96
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,040
Listen to this.
97
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,080
"Kerry and Kurtan,
lunchtime detention
98
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,560
"for making Robert Robinson
99
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,360
"ask the teacher what rimming is."
100
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,240
Who's Rob Robinson?
101
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,320
You don't remember Robert Robinson?
102
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,800
No.
103
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,320
He was in our class in Year 6
104
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,200
for, like, two terms
and he just vanished.
105
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,640
No-one ever heard of him again.
106
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,240
He had...
Instead of a rucksack, yeah,
107
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,120
he had a suitcase on wheels.
108
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,960
And you started his nickname,
which was Terminal Three.
109
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,440
You started that.
That was brilliant.
110
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,760
You don't remember that?
111
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,600
Robert Robinson.
112
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,640
You don't remember?
113
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,760
Year 6 camping trip,
he brought in an old army camp bed
114
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,280
and it had blood on it.
115
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,320
No.
116
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:26,920
We used to bog-wash him so much,
117
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,320
the bleach in the toilet actually
turned his hair white.
118
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,680
No. Oh, my God!
119
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,200
He had about three unruly
deaf brothers, yeah?
120
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,720
And he used to get picked up after
school in a dirty old Land Rover
121
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,680
full of flailing arms. No.
122
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,920
You don't remember that?
123
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,640
No. He used to write everything out
in that calculator font
124
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,320
cos he thought
it was really cool.
125
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:49,280
No. We made him eat a fucking
bark sandwich, for fuck's sake.
126
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,480
No. You don't remember that?
127
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,600
No. Nothing? Nothing.
128
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,640
Fuck.
129
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,240
Right, I'm going to get Slugs over,
he was in our class, he'll remember.
130
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,080
Please don't get Slugs over.
Yes, I am! He'll never leave.
131
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,000
Me and Kurtan have known
Slugs since school
132
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,120
and I've never met anyone
who outstays their welcome
133
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,600
more than him.
134
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,960
Like, you'll say, "Sorry, Slugs,
135
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,160
"I can't stop and chat I've got
to go and have my dinner."
136
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,320
And he'll go, "What we having?"
137
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,600
Robert Robinson, yeah?
138
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,200
He had a fat woman's arse and tiny,
short little legs like a troll.
139
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,240
Yeah, you sure you're not
talking about Slugs?
140
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,440
Positive. He genuinely
looked like a Moomin.
141
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,640
Yeah, so does Slugs.
142
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,400
I know, but it ain't Slugs.
143
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,640
His school jumper, yeah,
144
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,480
was the most faded
out of everyone's.
145
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,760
He used to chew
his sleeves into threads.
146
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,200
No. He brought in a bit of meteorite
once, yeah, for show and tell,
147
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,120
and Darren Lacy called him
Apollo 13.
148
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,960
No. Oh, my God.
149
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,480
He was obsessed with salamanders,
yeah?
150
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,880
And we saw him at the school fete
151
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,720
and he was carrying around
a little bank bag full of coppers
152
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,400
and his face was painted
like a salamander
153
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,920
and he was hissing at dogs.
154
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,000
How do you not remember
Robert fucking Robinson?
155
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,880
Oh, my God, there's this website
156
00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,800
that allows you to watch a loaf
of bread slowly going stale.
157
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,360
Fucking hell, man!
158
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,760
Stop it.
159
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,080
What's it called? Loaf of bread cam.
160
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,120
Seriously?
161
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,160
He's not on Facebook.
162
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,400
How can he not be on Facebook?
163
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,480
Everyone's on Facebook.
164
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,560
That doesn't make any sense.
165
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,640
Maybe he changed his name
cos he got married.
166
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,840
What? Maybe he's not on Facebook
because he doesn't exist.
167
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:31,960
What about that tea towel?
168
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,960
Where is it?
169
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,760
This is it. Got it.
170
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,760
I've got it. This is it.
171
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,040
There.
172
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,520
That's him. Let me see. He's here.
173
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,600
Rob Robinson. I got it.
174
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,360
You see? Right there.
175
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,480
Rob Robinson.
176
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,320
And that was him. And I was...
177
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,560
I knew it, didn't I?
178
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,920
And that looks like him, as well.
179
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,120
That looks exactly like him.
180
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,160
There's a massive pond
in the back of there
181
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,040
and two summers ago,
it got really bad algae.
182
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,520
32 grand's worth of Koi carp
just dead in a day.
183
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,960
And the algae was thick,
like a pint of cheese.
184
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,640
And down there is karate club.
185
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,160
On my first day of karate club,
karate master goes to me, "Kerry,
186
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,760
"I don't know why you're here
because I can't teach you anything."
187
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,440
"If anything, you should be
teaching me."
188
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,720
And just gave me his black belt.
189
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,840
All right, Mand?
190
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,200
No, I'm not all right. You know
that little old blind man?
191
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,760
Yeah. Yeah, when I was
punching him in his face,
192
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,320
the lens from his glasses broke
and cut my knuckle.
193
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,320
Oh, right.
194
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,440
Do you want a tattoo, by the way?
195
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,920
Why's that? Oh, I'm a qualified
tattoo artist now,
196
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,760
I've got my certificate
this morning.
197
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,320
Nice one.
198
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,240
Do you want one, then?
Well, yeah, I've always wanted one
199
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,640
but I've just got no money.
200
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,080
I've been saving up.
No, no, I'd do it for free.
201
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,320
Are you serious?
202
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,960
Yeah, helps me build up
my portfolio and that. Oh!
203
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,000
Why don't you come round
tomorrow afternoon, then?
204
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,480
That'd be amazing.
205
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,200
All right.
Aw, nice one, Mand, cheers.
206
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,000
I'll see you later.
207
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,560
Tyson, fuck off!
208
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,800
So, there's a house over there
209
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,240
that we used to cherry knock at
all the time.
210
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,720
But since Graham's wife died,
we don't do it any more
211
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,280
cos we don't take the piss.
212
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,040
I'm going to do whatever it takes
to find out what happened
213
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,200
to Robert Robinson.
214
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,240
My theory is...is that he died
but they just kept it from us
215
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,320
cos we was just little,
innocent children.
216
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,400
This is where Robert Robinson lived.
217
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,800
I can see him,
I can just see him now,
218
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,560
just playing in the garden.
219
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:56,520
Summer evening, having so much
fun and laughter.
220
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,040
Cos he loved life.
221
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,680
And then his mum comes out,
"Robert, dinner's ready."
222
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,400
And he's like,
"Mum, I don't want to eat,
223
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,160
"I'm having too much fun playing."
224
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,800
She goes, "You have to eat
something, Robert."
225
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,920
And he goes,
"No, seriously, I'm fine."
226
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,560
She goes, "Right, that's it."
227
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,800
So she grabs him by the neck,
like this, pulls him in,
228
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,240
and he's crying,
229
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,720
and he's putting his heels in
but she's kicking him.
230
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,920
Thumping him on the back.
231
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,440
And so he gets sent up to his
bedroom without any tea.
232
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,720
Kurtan? Cos he did have
abusive parents.
233
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,760
What? There's a pair of
old Spider-Man pants here
234
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,440
with some skidders in them.
235
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,760
Yeah. Those will be his.
236
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:47,200
It's just like one day he was here,
and then the next, he was gone.
237
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,040
I can se... I can feel, I can feel,
Kerr, I can feel him here.
238
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,680
I'm getting this weird feeling,
I swear to God.
239
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,800
You all right, Kurts?
240
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,360
Can you just give me a minute?
241
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,360
He's loving this.
242
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,720
He gets very much too obsessive
with things -
243
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,720
like, last week he was obsessed
with finding out what happened
244
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,600
to the cast of The Queen's Nose.
245
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,520
It's, like, an old kids' programme
that was on TV.
246
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,080
And a lot of them are
still acting, actually.
247
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,120
And then he got obsessed with
the...the Fuse bar.
248
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,120
He had to write a letter
to Cadbury's
249
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,280
asking what happened
to the Fuse bar.
250
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,400
And they wrote back saying,
"The sales weren't great
251
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,000
"but thank you so much for taking
the time to write in."
252
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:53,000
Thanks again so much for this,
Mand, honestly, I can't believe it.
253
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,480
So, do you know what you want, then?
254
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,800
I just can't decide at the moment.
255
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,080
Why don't you have a look through
one of these books, then?
256
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,640
Choose something from there.
Cheers, Mand.
257
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,360
So, what's that one?
258
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,440
That's a pig.
259
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,120
All right.
260
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,600
Sorry, who's that?
261
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,280
That's Friends.
262
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,800
And that one? Harry Styles.
263
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,760
Tasmanian.
264
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,360
That's Justin Bieber.
265
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,320
Fred Flintstone. Spock.
266
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,280
Stig of the Dump.
267
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,640
All right. Who did these?
268
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,520
Me. Oh, right.
269
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,440
They're really good.
270
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,480
I know.
271
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,520
Who's that one?
272
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:38,880
That's Grant from EastEnders
273
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,160
but also it could be
that bloke off MasterChef.
274
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,320
Oh, right. If you put glasses on it.
275
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,280
Do you know what? I think
I'm going to have to just
276
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,160
go home and just have
a think about it.
277
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,600
Why?
278
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:59,800
Cos...well, they're just so good,
I can't choose which one.
279
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,880
So, you're wasting my time?
280
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,000
Cos I've booked the whole afternoon
off for this.
281
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,120
And I'm giving you one for free.
282
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,880
No, I... You're taking the piss,
aren't you?
283
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,200
I do really want one,
it's just, I...
284
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,840
I do, yeah, I do really want one,
yeah. What?
285
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,240
I just don't know which one to have
yet, that's the only thing.
286
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,400
Do you do, like, really small ones?
287
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,720
Like I literally just want, like,
a K.
288
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,240
I don't do small ones,
I only do massive ones.
289
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,960
Right.
290
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,400
You wanted one? Nah.
291
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,480
Do you know what? I am going to
go home and think about it, Mand.
292
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,760
Mand...
293
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,720
Mandy?
294
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,760
Mandy?
295
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,640
Brilliant, she's dead.
296
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,800
MANDY SNORES
297
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,000
No, she's sleeping.
298
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,880
Oh, what the fuck...
What, with her eyes open?
299
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,720
Yeah, my nan does it, it's like
a weird condition or something.
300
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,760
Look, watch this. Mandy?
301
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,000
Your tattoos are shit.
302
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,160
Oi.
303
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,360
That's the whole day away.
304
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,400
She's sleep talking.
305
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,720
Oh.
306
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,400
(Fuck this,
I'm getting out of here.)
307
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,600
(Go, let's get out.)
308
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,520
Oh, my God.
309
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,200
She's going to be so livid that
we just, like, legged it.
310
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,080
Well, yeah, but... Oh...
311
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,880
You'd rather get a punch
in the face, yeah,
312
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,920
than a giant tattoo for the rest of
your life, so, just... Oh, my God.
313
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,200
Oh, for fuck's sake.
DISTANT SHOUTING
314
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh, well, don't stop,
let's keep walking.
315
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,800
All right.
Pretend we haven't seen him.
316
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,760
Kerr, wait!
317
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,800
What is it?
318
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,400
God!
319
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,920
Look at him, he's waddling
like he's shat himself.
320
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:12,960
What is it, mate?
321
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:20,800
Well, what is it?
322
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,520
Kerr, come on, let's just go.
323
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,320
What? What?
324
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,600
Rob Robinson? Well, what about him?
325
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:33,840
What? What is it?
326
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,040
No, what about him?
What is it? Rob Robinson?
327
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,080
What is it?
328
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,160
He's alive? How do you know?
329
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,760
Yeah?
330
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,240
Oh, yeah!
331
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,280
Seriously?
332
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,240
Seriously?
333
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,800
Kerr, this is...this is...
This is serious now.
334
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,520
That is amazing.
335
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,560
Thanks for that, mate.
336
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,720
Thank the Lord for Slugs.
337
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,760
That's brilliant, that.
338
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,600
Come on.
I can't believe it, that is...
339
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,440
That's great news.
The plot thickens, Kerr.
340
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,040
Mum, what's for tea?
341
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,480
What?
342
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:28,880
Can I have a word, Kerr?
343
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,520
(She's going to fucking kill us.)
344
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,480
(Not me, I'm going home.)
345
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,120
(You're coming in with me.)
346
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,040
(She'll fucking....)
347
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,680
(Don't you fucking dare.)
348
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,720
All right, Mand?
349
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,440
Look, I'm sorry about earlier.
350
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,560
I don't want you to think I sleep
on the job or nothing.
351
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,120
I'm a professional.
No, honestly, you're fine,
352
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,560
I reckon what we should do
353
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,800
is just forget about
the whole thing, to be honest.
354
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,480
No, I brought all my tattooing stuff
round now.
355
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,240
Yeah, but you're really tired,
though, aren't you?
356
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,280
No.
357
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,520
Erm...
358
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:20,560
But I don't really know...what
I want to have done yet,
359
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,920
that's the thing.
360
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,080
That's all right,
I'll make it up as I go along.
361
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,120
Sit down.
362
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,720
Yeah, I could have said "no"
to Mandy, but...
363
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,800
I want to support a local business,
don't I?
364
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,200
Because that's who I am.
365
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,720
And when a tattoo removal company
starts up round here,
366
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,280
I'll be supporting that, as well.
367
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,760
Take your top off. Yeah.
368
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,960
TATTOO GUN BUZZES
369
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,680
So, we're just outside the village.
370
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,480
It's been years
since I've come up here.
371
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,800
Like, it's a long walk from my
house,
372
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,880
but I think it's all going
to be worth it
373
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,840
because I'm seeing Robert Robinson.
374
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,640
Slugs found out that he works
in this garage
375
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,960
just outside the village.
376
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,640
I don't know what's going to happen.
Like, anything could happen.
377
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,880
He might not want to see me.
378
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,920
He might just punch me in the face,
and if he does,
379
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,960
I'm just going to stand there
and take it
380
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,720
cos that is the least he deserves.
381
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,800
He might not even be the same lad
I once knew, like...
382
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,120
He might not even be into
salamanders any more.
383
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,840
But one thing I do know
is that I lost him once
384
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,240
and I ain't ever going
to lose him again.
385
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,720
I think that's him.
386
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,000
I am pretty sure, yeah,
that is Robert fucking Robinson.
387
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,200
Right there.
388
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,400
Robert? Yeah?
389
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:07,120
You are...you are exactly
how I remembered, it's so weird.
390
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,480
All right.
391
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,400
It's me, Kurtan.
392
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,440
OK.
393
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,480
Like, no-one else remembers
who you were, right?
394
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,120
But I never forgot who you were,
Robert.
395
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,200
Sorry...sorry, who are you?
396
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,120
Kurtan.
397
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,760
You were in my class, yeah,
in Year 6 for, like, two terms,
398
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,920
I bullied you relentlessly.
399
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,600
Right. You don't remember...?
400
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,560
What happened to you?
401
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,640
Well, I moved schools.
402
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,720
Right. And now I work here.
403
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,400
Why aren't you on Facebook?
404
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,440
I am on Facebook.
405
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,600
I changed my name to Salamander.
406
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,040
Of course.
407
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,120
I should... That is so you, as well.
408
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,960
What time do you finish here?
409
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,720
Ten minutes. Why?
410
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,000
I don't know.
411
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,920
What sort of broom is that?
412
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:15,960
I don't know.
413
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,680
All right, well,
look after yourself, yeah?
414
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,440
Absolute waste of time.
415
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,880
So fucking boring. Jesus.
416
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,920
Nothing about him.
417
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,320
How are we going to get home
from here, as well?
418
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,520
I've got to walk through
this fucking shit.
419
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,520
Some things are just best left
in the past, where they belong.
420
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,120
You've just got to live
in the moment
421
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,720
and appreciate what's around you.
422
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,200
Because while you're pining for
Noel Edmond's House Party,
423
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,720
you're missing out on
Alan Carr's Chatty Man.
424
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,640
It's just shits and roundabouts.
425
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,560
Let's see it, then.
426
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,040
No. Come on, please.
427
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,480
No, I ain't showing you.
Please, Kerr, come on.
428
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,840
Oh. Yeah, fine, but don't touch it.
429
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,000
I won't touch it.
Cos it's still really painful.
430
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,560
That looks like a dog
sniffing a bumhole.
431
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,760
Piss off! It's a wolf howling
at a moon, thanks.
432
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,840
Oh... Dick.
..this'll cheer you up, yeah?
433
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,040
I spoke to Mr Perkins'
grieving wife earlier...
434
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,360
Oh, yeah.
And he's definitely still dead.
435
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,800
I know.
436
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,480
He's dead!
437
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,720
He's dead!
438
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,000
The bastard's dead.
439
00:22:09,305 --> 00:23:09,156
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
32034
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof